Use so much hair spray to style it in a ponytail without a holder and then dye it (it will make it dryer)

My friend isignoring me what should I do?

"Run into your friend's classroom yelling I'm a bird! Then nuzzle him pretending to caw. That way he can't ignore you."

["Im pretty sure Proffser Sprice hates me. What do I do?"

You should just accept it and not turn in any homework ever again. A tack on their chair wont hurt either, you have nothing to lose.

My grandmother keeps telling me to do the dishes and I don't want to. What do I do?

Destroy all the dishes. If there are no dishes you don't have to wash them!

If you had to bury your parent that you never knew what would you do?

Get to school early and do everything you can to sabotage the rest of the class' homework, too. Tackle students. Chew their papers with your teeth. Shrilly recite nursery rhymes while barring the door and waving your arms overhead. If you can't turn it in on time, neither can they.

I want to cook breakfast before class but I have trouble waking up early enough. What should I do?

Don't shower and wear the same clothes everyday. It will save time!

How do I talk to someone I have a crush on?

You should chug a bottle or two of nyquil.

I am broke what do I do?

Stay up all night and watch YouTube videos and forget that homework exists.

I want to tell my crush that I like him but I can never bring myself to. What should I do?

Beat it against the wall. You’ll knock yourself out! You will have to call in sick to the exam.

People say I read to much. What should I say or do?

Just start going online and reading up on how to stop! Don't stop researching until you finally stop reading anything.

I keep forgetting my pencils at home whenever I go to school. Help me!