Don't Look Down E n d e d (￣∇￣)

“What do I do?” - “I’m not strong enough...”

As if she finally saw things clear, she stopped.

She looked up. Corliss Callender. The one with the nice name. The one she just snapped at for no good reason.

'Shouldn't water be filling my lungs now? How could I still breath ? Why..no..what is she doing? Shouldn't she just leave already? Why is her grip on me so tight? Why does it look like she's struggling? '

Her feet.

Her feet tried to create as much friction against the dirt floor to pull me up . Was this girl trying to save her? Even when they met it was obvious she didn't have the build to pull Fumiko out. So why was she trying

Fumiko thought back at the rock she threw. It sank in the bottom after leaving a big ripple. It gave up in the beggining. It didn't even try to swim back up.

Skipping stone

She thought about the skipping stone and tried to find similarities between the them and Corliss Callender.

They both were weak in the beginning

They both probably wanted to fly

They both kept going

Even when they know they can't

If she's the skipping stone, then Fumiko is the stone. The stone that allowed the water to drown them.

She felt sick

What...am I doing?

W-what...what was I thinking?

Did I really ...just...

How could she think like that

How could she let...that damn old man..

She must've looked ridiculous right now. Getting tugged back and forth like a toy. When imagining it, she couldn't help but let out a small chuckle. A dry one.

" Don't regret? " the creature tugged her ankle again and made her wince " it was never your fault. It's okay " her words contradict with her dark eyes , now small tears running down them.

Gah, she's getting sentimental

It seemed like it was all over. Fumiko’s life was already slipping away and Corliss couldn’t do anything. There she was, trying to save someone’s life when she knew she couldn’t. This girl was going to die because Corliss was so useless.

Useless.

Yeah, useless. She would never do things on her own, can she? No matter how hard she could try, failure would ensue. Is it even trying when you know you’ll fail? Is it even trying when you’re not confident in yourself?

You try and fall over, you can try and fail. Once you fail, try again. But this time, do it again.

Why had her mother’s voice only come to her so late? Why had Corliss not realize this? She could try this way, but she already knew from the start, she was going to fail. If she knew, why did she even do it? Why not do it differently, in a way she knows she can do?

But what? was the thought which came to her. She never had much talent. She had average grades and average life skills. The only thing she could think of was her imagination. She would read and draw things nonexistent. She would imagine things which would never be possible. She would dream of utopias and dystopias. She would dream of flawed characters and how they would interact. She already knew they weren’t real.

But... She thought magic wasn’t real. She thought everything unexplainable was her imagination. She thought she wasn’t a witch. Yet she was. In her last attempt at saving Fumiko’s life, she pulled out her wand and jabbed the tip at the squid’s black tentacle.

Yes, she didn’t know any spells. She couldn’t. But her wand had acted on its own. Colorful sparks flew out of it and the tentacle loosened it's grip. Did she just save Fumiko? Did she just save a life?

Did Fumiko get her chance at a long life once more?

For a while, the girls didn't move or even utter a single word. Laying on the ground, a bit breathless while their hearts still raced like a marathon. Fumiko was too tired to cry, she already did and if she did it again, the tears will burn her eyes like acid.

So she didn't want to talk to her hero. Something told her if she even tried to thank Callender, she'll cry. She placed a an arm over her eyes, sheildding the sun rays , letting her skirt to dry up.

Well...this felt awkward.

How did such a normal conversation, turn into a crying fest with the giant squid as a special guest.

For once, she regretted going to the lake. Despite all the crying, yelling and saving, she had to admit. She never felt so relieved since the morning started.

On the other hand she couldn't believe she was about to let a squid make her take a swim in the water. And she couldn't believe she yelled...at an innocent girl...a girl who probably saved Fumiko's life.

And she was repaying that with ignoring her because what? She's scared she'll cry? How more selfish could she get.

Without removing her arm from her eyes, : " Hey..." her voice croaked out, dry. " What were you thinking ? " this wasn't what she's supposed to say. " Live up to our Hufflepuff house..and tell the truth..I'd ... like to know " . Her voice got softer as the sentences leave her mouth.

Why was she being so rude? She wanted to hug the girl for godsakes. Cry into her shoulder and tell her how sorry she was. Callender noticed the squid and tried to warn her and Fumiko took it the wrong way, not only she was only focused on getting rid of Callender, but she even snapped at her.

Yet she was speaking so rudely like the girl just haven't saved her life.

Corliss didn’t know what to say. She knew what her answer was, yet she didn’t know how to put it into words. The answer was quite simple, yet it wasn’t. It’s not easily explainable. It’s easy to see, yet it isn’t easy to say.

“It... It just...” Corliss tried to find the words. What could she say? She couldn’t just say anything she wanted. She would need to explain. But... Does her answer need to be so complicated? “You were dying.”

It’s morbid, yes, but true. Of course, the girl was dying. If not, there would be no one to save. But yet, it seemed like a good reason. After all, they were young. All of them were young. No one deserves to die at such a young age, when your life seems to stretch far away. No one deserves to live just to get snuffed out in a few seconds. No matter how bad you are, no one would deserve it.

After all, it seemed more like an instinct than anything else. Corliss didn’t try to measure the pros and cons of saving Fumiko. Yet she still saved her. It seemed like some sort of decision, but now, it didn’t. It seemed impossible to imagine a situation where she didn’t save anyone. It was all better than knowing you have something weighing on your shoulders. It was all better than that.

Fumiko laughed dryly like callender just said a bad joke

" I was dying ?" she repeated mockingly. " I was drying? Just now? " she laughed again, now clutching her stomach in pain . It wasn't a nice laugh but it was genuine. It was like she found something so stupid she didn't even feel dissapointed anymore .

Dying? Just now?

She felt the same since the time her parents sent her away to live with her aunt like an unwanted furniture they have no heart to care for anymore. She used her childhood to help herself with self care tips, meditation... anything.

It helped.

It wasn't enough.

She couldn't help feel frustrated when her father comes to mind. She couldn't help but cry when her mother comes to mind . She couldn't help but scream in her pillow when she realises how she changed herself but those people. Thos people that hurt her, abandoned her, give her a nice childhood, knows her like a book, .... l- lo

She couldn't finish that thought with her eyes filled with fresh new tears. She did the only thing she knew she could do

She cried. She cried like there was no ' tomorrow '.

Like she said, her eyes now burned like acid but they didn't seem to stop. Of course she didn't forget about Callender, so she only allowed whimpers to escape her voice and turned the other way around and covered her face like she still wanted to hide the fact that she was crying

When was the last time she cried? She questioned her sanity with how happy and joyous she felt since arriving at Hogwarts but now she's in this kind of state.

Making friends that warmed her heart and thought her new things. Learning that she could poof out bubbles out of her wand for free.

It was...a very nice cry. It was those cries when you just want to let it all out in order to be happy again.

While sobbing, she wondered if Callender had left. If she was going to tell everyone about how Fumiko Tachibana was a lying prick that deceived everyone with her fake smiles, fake kind tone and fake nice gestures just to make them like her .

They would never believe her again.

What was...so wrong with making sure no one hates her? No one stays with her , acting or not they all do. Might as well take care of herself first.

' Callender....is...just ..the same.. she'll leave me..and it's fine ' she thought, desperately trying to kill the hope she had for the girl to stay. Maybe they can talk later. Maybe they can be

f

fr-

frie-

...

Corliss didn’t know what to say. What could she say, anyway? She didn’t want her words to sound empty. She didn’t want Fumiko to think Corliss was only saying something to be nice. She didn’t care what Fumiko said. She didn’t care what she would do. She just wanted her to know she wasn’t only saving her for the sake of saving someone. She didn’t want anyone to think she only saved someone to brag about it later. She put effort into saving her. Cold, hard effort. She didn’t have that moment of despair for nothing. She didn’t think about what would happen if she didn’t save Fumiko for nothing. No, she wouldn’t do any of that for absolutely nothing.

Corliss only sat there, not leaving Fumiko’s side. She wouldn’t leave. She wouldn’t speak. She would stay, waiting for something to happen out of it. She was willing to watch someone cry in a moment of sadness. She was willing to watch as someone as she ponders what she would do next. She was willing to be there, just to say, “I care.”

She was willing to pay with anything just to sit there and wait. She realized how important staying behind was. She realized how important it was to sit and wait. Sometimes, you don’t need words to speak.

After crying for at least 30 minutes and cleaning up snot with her shirt, the only thought that came to her mind was

' Damn that feels good '

She was truly surprised to sit in a sitting position and looked at her side to see Callender still sitting there as if she hasn't moved at all. She was too tired to make any change of expression though.

Did she come back after she told the whole school about how fake Fumiko Tachibana is? Just to tell her " hah your Hogwarts life is finished. You shouldn't have yelled at me earlier ha?! "

The way she shivered from the cold make Fumiko think otherwise. It was almost sunset. The cold breeze of the night would soon come .

Her skirt already mostly dried off, but that didn't help the cold. Not the mention her face full of dried tears.

She stared at Callender with an odd expression. She wasn't sad, happy, angry, or confused. She just looked....content. No smile was forced, she didn't widen her eyes to make herself look cuter, she didn't act at all. Despite the absence of a smile, she looked truly genuine.

She tore her red, puffy eyes from Callender and watched as the sunset almost touched the great lake. The water turned into a whole nother color and the air never felt fresher.

" Seeing the lake....helps you ease up...right?" she couldn't voice it out as loud and cheery as she did before, but in her opinion, it sounded much nicer without the artificial enthusiasm.

She.....is cold.

With weak legs, she tried to stand up almost stumbling in the process. " I-I'm okay " she sent a nervous smile to Callender. The girl saved her from a squid and she stayed by Fumiko's side despite her crying session in motion, Fumiko let herself believe the girl would be worried if Fumiko almost tripped.

" Let's go back to the Common Room. I could really use some nice cinnamon tea while cozying up near the fire. Actually, I think we both need it. " she mused in a raspy voice like she didn't just have a breakdown a few minutes ago.

She held out her hand for Calle-no...Corliss to get pulled up from her feet. Unconsciously giving her a small smile she said : " You deserve so much more than an explanation...so...will the one with a nice name please stand up so we can talk over with some time cinnamon tea? " she joked lightly.

She couldn't describe this feeling. It was probably gratitude towards the girl that will fade within time but Fumiko wanted more. She wanted to keep smiling just from seeing Corliss face, she wanted to speak freely like she could trust Corliss with her life, she wanted this great urge to share her thoughts and opinions with Corliss, she wanted...

it all..

and so much more..

Now if only Corliss took her hand, she wouldn't tell her directly but she'll probably mark this moment as Fumiko's happiest moments in her whole life.

Corliss couldn’t believe it. She had only expected a simple thank you. She would’ve accepted it anyway, but... Had she really made a new friend? Had she really made an actual good friend? Would they really be able to stay friends for the rest of their time in Hogwarts? Or perhaps even for the rest of their life? For once, the closest thing to a friend she ever had wasn’t someone she barely knew. It seemed unreal to her. It seemed like a dream. Was it a dream? It certainly felt like it. But she had classes and did her homework, didn’t she? Was that all a dream too? Or had she fell asleep?

If it really was a dream, then let it be a dream. She would dread the moment she wakes up. She would count on it. She would accept it. But if it was real... Well, she just made a new friend, hadn’t she?

Corliss took Fumiko’s hand. This whole thing would be a vivid dream if it wasn’t really. Corliss wouldn’t believe it. She couldn’t. She never had a dream this good and vivid. If she had, well, she wouldn’t believe it was real. But it was. I was real and Corliss knew it with everything she stood for. She knew it with everything she knew and loved, even the things she hated.

If nothing else convinced her, Fumiko’s smile did. It was the sweetest one Corliss had ever seen from anyone. Well, maybe not the most. Second from her mother, perhaps. But it was close.

She didn’t know she was going to bond over all the little things with Fumiko. She didn’t know they were going to be talking about the smallest things in the world. She didn’t know she was going to talk about Fumiko’s past, however blurry it still may seem to her. She didn’t know she would actually understand why Fumiko yelled at her for seemingly no apparent reason. She didn’t know how open she would be with her, no matter what she had done.

There was only one thing she knew: She had gained a friend.