A Single Red Rose PV AngelFyre McCubbin Finished

Simon spoke not a word, but instead enveloped her in his arms and held her tightly. She knew it always made her feel better when he did that for her so it was heartwarming to know it was a balm to his soul as well. When he placed his hand gently beneath her chin and tilted her tear-stained face up towards his own crimson-stained one, AngelFyre could not imagine a more intimate moment passing between the two, raw and tender as it was. His silent, but open invitation to her to bear witness to his deepest fear and secret shame was their crossing of the Rubicon. There was no going back. There was only the undeniable commitment of the two to move forward hereafter... together and inseparable.

Smiling a small, soft smile while gazing deeply into his cinnamon and honey-colored eyes, AngelFyre placed her hands on his cheeks. She leaned over and trailblazed a path of slow kisses across the map of his face, starting at his forehead and ending with his full, luscious lips. In between she had lingered over each of his closed eyelids with tender ministrations, hoping to impart her love, acceptance, and gratitude for the trust he had just given her.

She quietly listened when he spoke, and went through a range of emotions herself. One was relief that he had calmed down and was able to express his feelings about what had transpired with Kendric. Then she felt overwhelming pride in his vision of them as a team and their ability to support one another. She luxuriated in his kiss to the top of her head as he stated the paper rose was a symbol of his unwavering love. And finally, he even made her laugh with his adorable setup to a dhampir and a seer on a train joke. That was until he pieced together the remnants of her earlier broken heart when he revealed that the punchline was that he loved her completely.

"And I you."

Hearing Simon say he loved her always made her swoon a little. There were no sweeter words in the universe, on any world or in any language. She was blessed....they were both blessed... to belong to one another.

Even so, her tummy was roiling and performing a series of Olympic worthy backflips. There was still more to the story, but she was weighing the wisdom in sharing the rest of it. Simon now knew there had been a kiss from Kendric and that he had been upset when she told him she was not parting from Simon. Was that not enough? Did he have to also be told a second kiss had been attempted? That a small outburst of rage had erupted?

She decided the answer was yes.

The slate between them always needed to be clean, and his own explanation for what precisely had upset him about the situation seemed to be less about jealousy and more about Kendric's character, so maybe there was more there that Simon would wish to be made aware of ultimately, no matter how upsetting. Besides, his voiced worry about Christmas was still ringing in her ears.

Yes, she had to tell him.

"I understand why you were, and are, upset. It upset me as well, and still does, but you have to know the whole thing hurts and confuses me. And odd as it may sound to you, I miss my friend, Simon, " and she sighed deeply. "You have no idea how many times I wanted to tell you about it before now, but it felt like something I should tell you in person, especially after you told me about your episodes over the summer. If you were to have any questions or a reaction, such as you just did, I did not want you going through it alone." She took a beat for a moment before continuing, swallowing hard before doing so.

"Honestly, it crossed my mind a few times not to tell you at all as I could have easily talked myself into believing that you would never find out about it. 'Why upset you needlessly?' I reasoned, but that also would not have been right. It would have broken faith between us and the promise we made to each other that night in the Rehearsal Room to tell each other the truth always, and a lie of omission is still a lie, right? Those kinds of things have a way of coming out, and being kissed by a best friend would surely be one that likely would not stay hidden forever."

Looking at him, she noticed a strange look cross his face and his eyes immediately broke contact with her. AngelFyre took it as confirmation that he knew there was more to the Kendric story and was simply bracing himself for what he was about to hear, so she told him everything this time. When she had finished, and to her great relief, there was no reaction nearly as combustible as he had undergone earlier. In fact, AngelFyre was not certain how to read him at all in those moments.

AngelFyre heard him out in silence, even though a number of times throughout she felt as if she should excuse herself as she just knew she was going to be sick. The cool demeanor she presented on the outside belied the maelstrom brewing within, but Simon would not know it as he was not looking at her. Some might think it a cowardly move on his part to avoid eye contact, but not AngelFyre. She knew his heart too well. He would look away not because he was scared, although she knew he was, but mainly because seeing her pain would break something in him or maybe prevent him from telling her what needed telling. A coward would not have told her at all. Still, there was a lot to process here.

Before the telling, when she initially sat down beside him, he leaned forward and looked down. Because it was her habit to almost always be touching him, AngelFyre immediately let her left forearm rest on his back as her fingers idly massaged the base of his neck. He was upset and she knew this often calmed him, and besides, she loved doing it regardless of whether he was upset or not. She was honestly not too unnerved by his prologue about transparency because she figured she knew what he was going to say. And she had prepared herself for it. It was going to be something along the lines of 'I know Kendric is your friend, but this whole thing makes me uncomfortable and the less time you spend with him, unless I can be there, too, the better.’

AngelFyre would not have blamed him. Given the circumstances, it would be a reasonable request, even from a boy who would most likely never conceive of asking his girlfriend not to spend time with her friends. He thrived on his large network of friends and acquaintances so he knew the importance of such a thing. It would pain him because he also knew, however, that her network was not nearly as extensive, so to lose one would be more than painful. It would be devastating. In the weeks she had had to think of this conversation, she had gamed it out and had decided that as much as she loved Kendric, she loved Simon more. And she trusted that he would not ask such a thing unless it was really that important to him. Her answer, sadly, would be yes.

But what Simon proceeded to tell her was not what she had gamed out. As soon as he said the words “Madame Puddifoot's Tea Shop” her fingers froze in place on his neck and her vision telescoped. She dropped her hand to her side, resting between them and listened in silence. She thought she was over this. She thought her last jealousy hurdle had been cleared during the summer when Simon introduced her to Mia Anderson. But this? This was old business made new, though Simon could not know it.

March 26th. Sigh That was during the unboyfriend phase. A phase of her doing, but had she not insisted on that time so that he could work things out in his heart and mind and know that when he came to her... if he came to her... it would really be her that he wanted? Was this not a perfect example of exactly WHY she had turned down his proposal to be his girlfriend the day after he broke up with Haley? Answer: A resounding YES. It was a wise move then and she still thought it to be a wise move now. STILL! It was also his choice to wear her grandfather’s claddagh ring, pointed towards his heart. How was it that holding AngelFyre’s hand while in a relationship with Haley was a big no no, but pressing lips to Clair Fernandez’s lips was somehow okay as he declared himself to be AngelFyre’s boyfriend? THAT math just did not add up.

Grrrrrrrrrr

“Simon I… I cannot do this again. I just cannot.” Her voice was barely above a whisper, and for a second she tried to speak but shallow breaths could not propel her words, choking themselves off in her throat. She placed her hand up to her temple and began to rub it. “I knew about the kiss with Clair. It tore me up then, and I had thought…hoped…I was past the sting of it. Guess not.” That prompted him to turn and look at her.

Then the song reared its ugly head. She could not shake the song. The lyrics began to play in a loop in her brain.

I bet you're wonderin' how I knew

“The thing is that you two kissed in a public place. It may have meant nothing, but you were both at least engrossed in it enough that you failed to notice others noticing you,” and maybe for the first time since he had known her, her voice may have sounded just a little bitter.

'Bout your plans to make me blue
With some other girl you knew before
Between the two of us girls
You know I loved you more

“I have no idea who saw you, but they could not wait to anonymously tell me all about it. I get a bit of that. Haters are just gonna hate, but they love spreading the pain. Anyway, I waited for days to see if you would say anything. I figured if it were true, you would. Then as the days passed, I grew more worried when you said nothing. I kept reminding myself that we were in the “Unboyfriend’ stage, so maybe I did not have the right to say anything. Maybe you were exploring. But the ring, Simon. The ring. The idea of that is what truly hurt."

It took me by surprise I must say
When I found out yesterday
Don't you know that I heard it through the grapevine

"At some point I finally took refuge in a few things that put the shock and hurt in the background. The first was that the ‘news” came anonymously, so I felt there was a good chance it could be fake just to create trouble. The second thing was that I threw myself into the dance practice for our “dance before the dance”. And the third thing that kept me sane, and this really is the most important one, my love, is that your happiness and joy at being with me during that time never seemed to dim… in fact, it seemed to grow.”.

Oh I'm just about to lose my mind
Honey, honey yeah.
I heard it through the grapevine

She took a deep breath and reached for his hand. “You have no idea how hard I prayed about the whole thing. I prayed that if my love and faith in you were misplaced that surely God would not help me keep the (dragon)scales on my eyes,” and at that she smiled at him a little. The boy loved dragons and she was not one to pass up the opportunity to lighten this mood if she could. Dragons could only help.

“I know you love me. I do not have a doubt in the world about that. And while fully aware it is not a progressive way to think about your partner in a relationship these days, I am not ashamed to say that I am possessive when it comes to you. Very much so. I take our relationship seriously and I know you do, too. I may be only 12 years old, but I know enough to know that what we have is rare, Simon. We both have to be careful about who and how we let others into our lives. I can be your wolf, grounding you, but as my dove flying untethered, know I have my limits. Please hear me clearly on this… as long as we are together, you are mine…. and mine alone. If that is not something you can be or want to be, then now is the time to tell me. If it is something you can or want to be, then know that my heart is so full of you I can hardly call it my own. I love you with every piece of me, and I will love and love and love until I have nothing left."

Song: I Heard it Through the Grapevine by Marvin Gaye

Grandma Ruth had always told her she was made of stern stuff, but AngelFyre had never been certain she understood the meaning until the last few minutes had passed. "You are sweet and tender-hearted, my darling girl, but you are no pushover. There is steel in that spine. It is a most excellent combination. Be true to yourself and it will serve you, and those you love, well."

AngelFyre had risked everything her heart most cared about by asking Simon to make a choice right then and there about their relationship dynamic. She had not anticipated doing it... and she hated doing it ...but she did not want to continue to feel the darkness within her that arose when moments of jealousy reared its ugly head. It was a waste of spirit and not at all who she wanted to be or who she wanted them to be as a couple.

She loved Simon and knew with everything in her he loved her with the same depth and the same intensity. No relationship was perfect because no human being was perfect. Giving, understanding, trusting, and forgiving were the bedrock actions she sought in her relationships with anyone, but most especially with him. Communicating was another. They were young and still clumsily figuring things out as their relationship grew and strengthened, but they both seemed to have a large capacity for patience with the other's failings. One thing she had learned about herself was how possessive of him she could be. She did not like it, but she also seemed incapable of quelling it. Too much intimacy with other girls was a definite red line for her. She could happily enjoy and support Simon being Simon with his gregarious, friendly nature, even with any number of girls, but there had to be limits or she would go insane. Friendly, quick hugs? Those were fine. But anything of a more intimate nature, definitely not. Something of him had to be reserved for her alone.

She knew what she was risking the moment she gave him the ultimatum, but she also knew, loving him though she did, she actually could let him go if he could not agree to the limitations she was unilaterally placing on him. That realization in the moment it came upon her sickened her, but thankfully she did not have to live with the feeling long. His soft, soulful reply allowed her body to relax and it resonated in deep areas within her only he could plumb. Hearing him, she knew he was expressing something close to what she felt. At least for the here and now.

For months now AngelFyre had had the distinct pleasure of referring to Simon as her boyfriend, but the limitations of the English language... maybe of any language... prevented that word from truly encompassing the meaning and depth and breadth of who he really was to her... what he truly was to her. It was such a little word to describe him as her everything, but that felt closer to who he was. She knew he and Haley had "married" as first years, but she herself definitely thought of him more along those lines than a "boyfriend". Simon was her faith partner, her very, very best friend and confidant, her soulmate, and her future.

She smiled as he told her the desire to have her around was a need and a want. Disaster averted. The earth was spinning on its axis and all was well in their worlds. Then her mind allowed her to focus on his explanation regarding the love locket.

"So, when you open this up, you actually hear me?" she asked skeptically, but a smile was surfacing nonetheless. "What do I say to you? Is it always the same thing or does it change?" It warmed her heart that he apparently listened to it often and that he kept it in his satchel. Only the things of most importance were lugged around in his satchel. By extension, did that mean she was one of those?

As he handed it to her, she thought how beautiful a locket it was. The tension they had both been experiencing for too long during their reunion seemed to be melting now as they huddled close together over this enchanted piece of jewelry. His eyes were sparkling and dancing and she could tell he was interested in her trying it out, but the very idea of it gave her pause. Not because of anything having to do with them as a couple. She was 1000000000000000% sure it would be Simon's voice she would hear, but her Christian-muggle upbringing sometimes still struggled mightily with the idea of magic.

The source of it was a question no one had answered for her. Could she be certain the source was not a dark one? Was this little love locket a gateway to the Devil's window? Still, Simon's faith was strong and she knew she could trust in that, so she smiled and handed it back to him to place around her neck while she moved her hair out of the way. When he closed the clasp and the locket fell below her clavicle, she noted immediately how substantial it felt.

Looking down upon it while rubbing her fingers over it, she nervously looked to Simon. "Were you hesitant at all to open it? I am, but I know it is you I will hear," and she smiled more confidently at him. "Okay," she whispered to bolster her courage and she said a silent prayer for protection before allowing her fingers to twain the golden-hinged hearts.

"I never want rid of you, AngelFyre. Ever."

As soon as she heard the first word she knew without a doubt it was Simon she was hearing. It was so clear; nothing at all like a recording. She excitedly grasped his hand and looked to him. "It is definitely you. It's you!" and she laughed. Then more seriously she told him it was from their night in the Library when he told her he was a dhampir. "It reminded me of the first real thing you ever said to me that hinted at some thought of permanence between us," and her eyes welled with tears at the memory. "Do you remember telling me that night that you never wanted rid of me? That is what I just heard. Oh, Simon," and she leaned over, nestling her head in the crook of his neck, staring at the locket in between her fingers. Pressing into him with more urgency, she said, "One more time. I want to indulge my curiosity one more time." She opened it again and this time she heard his heart's wish to her in the Rehearsal Room the night he asked her to be his girlfriend.

"...we could maybe be an us... perhaps we could be a more perfect duet."

"Oh, I definitely need to get one of these, Mr. Kincaid. I see a clandestine trip into Hogsmeade for the both of us at some point. To be able to hear your voice any time I want to would be amazing."

She was so gobsmacked by the locket and what she heard that she initially failed to notice she had not told Simon what she had heard from the locket the last time she had opened it. She loved his restraint, but smiled as she saw a glint of his curiosity to know what she had heard the second time around. Good sport that he was, he opted not to ask but instead launched into telling her even more about the marvel she held in her hand.

"Really? What I just said to you a few minutes ago is what you heard when you opened it up the first time months ago? That is astonishing. I hope it sometimes repeats what we hear," and she turned to him, brushing the back of her hand against his cheek while losing herself in his eyes. "The last thing I heard you say when I opened it was spoken in the Rehearsal Room the night you asked me to be your girlfriend. What I heard was you telling me "...we could maybe be an us... perhaps we could be a more perfect duet." Her breath caught as she repeated it back to him. The power of that single sentence changed everything for her that night and even now sent a shiver down her spine. Darkness had turned to light. Despair to hope. Separation to togetherness. "What a gift to hear such things again."

AngelFyre smiled as she could see his mind beginning to hatch a plan on how to get her second year self into Hogsmeade. After breaking into the theater in London with him, she was excited to find out that bending the rules was actually a bit more fun than scary, especially if she would be doing it with Simon. The only thing that gave her a moment's pause was whether his position as Prefect would be at risk if they were caught. That would be a totally unacceptable risk as far as she was concerned, if so.

She was listening as he was telling her about his favorite shops and all the neat things contained therein, and her excitement was growing as she heard it in his voice as well, but there was definitely more behind it for her than the thought of a visit to Hogsmeade. She tried to keep eye contact the whole time, but she found her gaze wandering to his lips for longer and longer intervals. Finally she just began to apply more and more pressure to the center of his sternum, gently pushing him back onto the length of the cushioned, bench seat.

"That all sounds fascinating....it truly does, my love" she whispered a little huskily as she planted herself right along side him as they both fell back while she delivered soft kisses to his neck and then to his cheeks and his nose but not yet to his delicious lips, "but let me propose something of a much more... urgent nature, shall we say... than our future trip to Hogsmeade," and she grasped his hand, lacing their fingers together while still tease-kissing him. "We have not seen each other in 5 weeks and 5 days," and her voice silenced as the sound of lips suctioning slightly on his neck filled the compartment, "and while you know I love the sound of your voice," and once again she was silenced but deep breaths huffed out in increasing intensity from Simon as her tongue flicked across his outer ear, "I propose we make the best use of the time we have alone before pulling into the Hogsmeade Depot, so could I possibly interest you in a lot less talking and a whole lot more kiss--" and before she could even finish her sentence, Simon's lips found hers again and again as they steamed ahead to another magical year of learning, adventures, and togetherness.