Lost Souls PV Kit Paine Open Closed

"The unknown and the unnatural, those are two base fears in humanity."

Selim looked up as he heard the being talk to themselves. yellow eyes glinting from where he had hidden their fear-filled gaze. Her persona seemed to switch, making him pull back slightly at the erratic nature of the being before him. He didn't like unpredictable stuff like this.

She spoke to him then, walk forward confidently, making him attempt to become one with the wall behind him. She-they- spoke of the caretaker as if he was a separate entity. Multiple personalities, perhaps.

The emaciated boy tried to force his breathing to calm, Logic trying to take back control of his unstable mindscape. He shivered silently as the girl(?) finished speaking, eyes closed as he tried to restrain his mounting panic. His breath was slowing, but still sounded panicked, and he clenched his jaw.

With a harsh breath, he attempted to ease his thundering heartrate. He kept his eyes closed, focusing on his surroundings with other senses, taking deep breaths in and out as his father had taught him to do over the summer whenever he was having an attack. He hardly did it out of love, his reasoning was that it'd be a hindrance on his missions to have 'irrational' panic attacks out of nowhere.

He had calmed but felt clammy and sick. Seems his exhausted body didn't like when he suddenly restricted his breathing. Understandable, he was just going to be even more tired after his adrenaline rush wore off.

With jerky motions, he pulled his nails out of where they had sunk into the skin with beads of scarlet following. The blood welled up after he relived his stranglehold on his arms.

He opened his eyes, slowly easing into a seemingly more relaxed state, but he was just tired. What was he concerned about? What was the worse that would happen? Death? He'd welcome it with open arms, it was better than how he was living these days anyway; skulking the shadows like a wraith, mind holding restful sleep hostage.

He slowly brought his feet under himself and stood, leaning against the wall due to the incoming head rush. For a moment he stayed in that position eyes closed with the urge to fall unconscious, breath slow and shallow. then he forced himself back into vigilance as his masks returned from where they had slunk away.

His posture was wary, so were his amber eyes as he stared at the girl. For a moment he cast his eyes down the corridor, either way, looking for an escape, before resigning himself to his fate.

Form tense as he ran through scenarios of combat, he inwardly growled, all he could rely on was his evasion if it ever came to that.

He looked at the girl with guarded, narrowed eyes, before uttering a level response, "Fine. I'll go with you, despite this being exactly the opposite of what I came out here to do." 'to get away from humans'.

He forced his tormented form to listen to him and walked out of the shadows in all his eldritch glory. Thin face, dark bags around his eyes. The boy was obviously unhealthy, though didn't seem bothered to do anything about that fact.

Under his cloak was a white, long-sleeved shirt, and grey sweatpants. His sleeves, displaced due to his scratching, fell back into place slowly, beginning to stain red.

He eyed the being before him coldly, face blank and hiding whatever emotions churned below. "Lead the way."

Despite her seeming impatience and rather unforgiving demeanor, the girl waited without a word or motion as the boy took the time he needed to collect himself and his thoughts. Something in the tautness of her body eased a little when his nails were no longer stabbing into his own skin.

She took a step back to give him more space when he made to get to his feet and leaned against a wall. When he stared at her, she stared back, arms at her sides in an attempt to seem as non-threatening as possible. Eventually, he spoke.

"Oh, yeah?" she answered, as if he were remarking on what he'd had for breakfast. "What was it you came out here to do, then?" she wanted to know. "Keep from meeting the Hogwarts Caretaker in the shape of a little girl alone in the dungeons this late at night?"

When he told her to lead the way, she nodded once and turned around, heading straight for the Caretaker's office. "You want something to eat or drink? Milk? Tea? Hot chocolate, maybe?" Ty asked without turning around. "We can ask the house elves to bring something up to us. You're not looking good at all. What happened to you?"

@Selim Faust

"I am the designer of my own catastrophe."

Selim reluctantly trudged behind the girl(?) gaze distracted. The shadows around him seemed to curl and breathe to his perception. Everything slowly returned to its surreal state.

His thoughts were primarily occupied by the distracting voices he kept hearing. A few times he swore he heard someone calling his name, only to look around and find nothing. A couple of times he heard distant clanks and thuds, but upon trying to find their source, again nothing. He observed with growing paranoia the sounds and voices he heard that the girl in front of him wouldn't react to.

He grew increasingly unsettled, deep-rooted fear sprouting and making him fidget and scratch.

The girl spoke again, making him jump as his head slowly began developing a stress-induced migraine, something he was far too normalized to these days.

Wincing slightly at the volume of her voice, he answered after the long delay of walking and hearing things that didn't(?) exist.

"I came here to get away from people." He said, voice a half-hiss of undirected annoyance underlay with apprehension.

She spoke again, making his attention turn from the bestial growls that seemed to emanate from right behind him. His fingers twitched erratically, fight or flight screaming through every muscle in his frame, putting more stress on his already-strained body.

He answered her questions in order after varying lengths of silence-

"Tea."

"I don't care either way."

He paused as he registered her last question, torn from the distracting of someone or something breathing down the back of his neck, which had made him curl into himself and fight the urge to look at whatever his mind would cook up to match the noise.

A frown pulled down his features, "What happened?" He almost let out a humorless chuckle, but his emotions wouldn't have matched the hollow action. He felt increasingly nauseated as they drew closer to the office, brought on by his growing, instinctual trepidation. "Many things, too many to list in order."

His voice rang with agitation, and he shivered quietly as he heard sudden, rushing footsteps come toward him from behind. His form froze up as they grew closer, closer, and his body braced itself for what it thought would be an impact.

His eyes slid shut as he heard the running footsteps come up behind him, only to vanish, making his hair raise up on end. A shudder raked his thin frame, and he pushed down the feeling of bile.

It felt like spiders had begun to, once again, crawl on his skin.

He clenched his jaw, keeping his eyes shut for a few moments to try to focus back on reality.

He knew that was slowly becoming impossible though, his living nightmare had long since begun to slowly engulf what little was real.

Soon, he felt, he'd never return to truth... eventually, everything would become a lie.

The whispers began to laugh.

"What made you want to get away from people?" Ty asked, speaking not with disbelief, but rather with the tone of someone curious as to which reason of a myriad someone might have for choosing to do something. "Is it the same thing always every night, or different things at different times on different days?"

Noting his answer of tea, she frowned a bit and wrinkled her nose, as if the drink wasn't to her own tastes, but addressed a house elf they passed in the hall on the way regardless and requested the warm beverage. The house elf agreed and scurried off, making plans to bring the tea up to the caretaker's office where Ty had asked it be brought.

His mirthless chuckle caused her to glance back once, but she didn't comment on it. The anxiety in his voice was what drew her attention the next time, but when she watched him shiver and freeze up, tensing like a deer in headlights, she released a soft, pitying sigh.

"Do you think you'll feel better inside the office or outside?" she wanted to know. "You can sleep or lie or relax in one of the chairs if you want. Or I can set up a small cot for you. There are lots of comfortable pillows to rest on, too."

@Selim Faust

"Shadows are my home."

Selim attempted to pull himself away from the siren song of his mind, he kept his eyes focused on the Caretaker's back, taking a few deep breaths and letting his brain disassociate. He pulled away from the terror, seeming to just watch his body and pull its strings.

"They're loud, they're unpredictable, they're unknowns. I hate unknowns," he said monotonously. His face had become passive, yellow eyes dull as he felt echoes of fear from his disassociated body that was on autopiolet. "No, I don't usually wander about every night, usually just escaping to the common room is enough, occasionally it's not. That's when staying in one place seems dangerous."

He flinched as eldritch voices seemed to echo from the walls beside him, along with the screams of some poor captured souls. Everything seemed unnaturally dark, to the point where he seemed to only be able to see two feet in front of himself, despite the torches they passed.

He barely reacted to the house elf they passed.

The caretaker addressed him again, he blankly looked at the office door. "Inside is fine." He said in a blunt, dead voice.

His finger twitched as he heard distant, haunting noises of old, creaking timbers, and howling wind that didn't stir the near-stale air of the dungeon.

The voices spoke to him, saying one thing then another, paranoia echoing in their words. One seemed to speak rapidly in a robotic voice, like an ad acted by a brainwashed employee.

He continued to walk, face blank despite the overwhelming chatter amplified by exhaustion. His mental state degrading right in front of his apathetic eyes.

He did not bring himself to care.

"You hate unknowns..." the girl repeated softly to herself, as if to commit the notion to memory. Then she glanced back at Selim. "How come? Isn't life too boring if everything is known to you?"

Once the noiret had said that inside the office was fine, Tymiko nodded once and pushed open the door. She held it open long enough for the boy to go inside before going in after him. After they were inside, she looked at him once more and gestured around the room.

"Feel free to hang about wherever you like. The cushions are here," she said, opening a cabinet to show him where several of them were neatly stacked away, "and the house elf should be coming shortly with your tea."

Then she casually strolled behind a folding screen in the corner before continuing to speak. Her voice became more gentle, lower, and gradually more masculine as she talked.

"Do you mind me asking your name and house? I only want to help, but I can only do that if you let me."

When he stuck his head out from behind the folding screen to see how the boy was getting along, the adult caretaker wore a kind, if sad smile painted with concern. "Also...would you prefer to talk to me like this, or in some other form? Maybe someone more your age...?"

The smile turned sheepish. "I know you just said you hate unknowns, but I'm afraid I don't know what form I could take that would be most familiar to you. I guess...I'm kind of a big unknown myself."

@Selim Faust

" Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before."
- The Raven, by Edgar Allan Poe

Dead-eyed, Selim looked at the girl when she insistently continued the topic he was trying to end. There was a deep sigh, "No, it isn't boring, paranoia and a degrading mentality makes sure of that. Hard to see it as boring if you see unknowns as threats to your life." His tone was bitter, eyes slightly narrowed, contrasting against how monotone his voice sounded.

Upon entering the boy barely acknowledged what the caretaker said about 'hanging out'. His dead fish eyes scanned the room, before he settled in a corner near the door, not bothering with a cushion. Upon the being asking him a more personal question, his eyes darted to the folding screen, wariness tightening the coils of his body.

Reluctantly, he answered, slowly drifting back from disassociating, "Slytherin... second year.... Selim Faust." There was a tense feeling in his voice, he sounded, once more, like a cornered preditor.

Deeply unnerved, he watched as the true form of the caretaker took over the voice of the young, blunt alternate personality of the girl.

He asked about how 'comfortable' he'd be with the adult form. The Japanese boy almost scoffed at the question. "It doesn't matter whether or not you look like an adult, because I already know you're one. Fake being a child if you want, but nothing will change, Mr. Unknown." He pulled his knees up to his chest, hiding his face once more as he went silent. He didn't want to see the pitying look of the man, didn't want to hear the shallow gentleness in his voice that helped nothing about his situation.

He didn't care, didn't want to care. So instead he distracted himself in the only way he knew to be effective, a tried and true way. He dug his nails back into the wounds on his arms, and let the pain keep the stress and constant exhausted terror away.

He took a mental step back, and retreated into the abyss of his mind filled with the static caused by his throbbing wounds protesting in being split back open.

It was better than facing the actual demons that skulked the depths of his mental space, Paranoia, and guilt.

Despite Selim's matter-of-fact words regarding his looks, Kit appeared to have some difficulty refraining from laughter. "Please, call me Kit," he asked, perhaps amused by being addressed as 'Mr. Unknown'. He came to seat himself on the floor next to Selim, crossing his legs under him.

The man was careful not to sit too close and casually leaned his back against his desk, watching the second year, but being careful not to stare. Eventually, he grabbed a clipboard from the top of his desk that had a pencil clipped to it and some paper, placing it in his lap as he detached the pencil to use.

"Selim - or do you prefer Faust?" he paused to ask. "I only want to help you. Do you know if I can do that? Or if you'd let me?" The caretaker's pencil stopped moving when he noticed the boy injuring himself again and his smile disappeared.

"...Why do you do that?" he wanted to know.

When the house elf came a little while later with the tea, Kit was grateful and thanked the elf, hoping the beverage it passed to Selim would occupy himself with something more than causing his own body pain.

@Selim Faust

"Fear is a tool of survival easily turned against you."

Selim flinched slightly as the man sat down, getting to his level. The boy didn't reply to his verbal request of calling him by what he assumed was his first name. His skin began to crawl, feeling like it was growing tighter, more... stifling. His brain conjured up a dreaded thought, he was alone with an adult. From his experience, that was never a good thing.

He fought down the nausea that seemed to flood him, ignoring the bile that felt like it was rising up his throat. He felt wrong, like he wasn't supposed to exist, like the very world around him was trying to purge him from its realm. A sickness.

He pulled his knees closer to his chest, the grip around them tight as he tried to fight down the flicker of panic trying to destroy his numbness. His unstable emotions that churned like a dark nebula were making it hard for him at the moment, so he tried to fight them off.

He was pulled out of his stormy headspace by another question, though the sounds and voices he heard didn't disperse. Their mocking tones wormed their way into his brain, flowing like a spider's web into the chaotic rot eating at his brain.

"Faust." He responded in forced impassivity. Glancing between his knees, he noted the clipboard and visibly tensed. After a moment of eyeing the clipboard like one would with a gun, he responded to the next question with a dark tone. "I doubt anyone can help me." 'Even more doubtful that and adult will...' he added mutely.

He evened his breathing, the familiar warmth of blood trickling ever-so-slightly down his fingertips. The next question posed by the caretaker interrupted his ritualistic way of trying not to mentally breakdown into an incoherent mess.

"... It grounds me." He said simply, though with a chill undertone.

He glanced down at the tea the house-elf had given him. His gaze was sharpened with paranoia. His hands didn't relinquish their talon-like grip on his forearms.

Selim's action of pulling his knees closer to his chest caused Kit to look up from his clipboard, his brow furrowing slightly. He nodded once at the request for him to call the boy Faust, the noticed the Slytherin glance at his clipboard.

Kit glanced at it too, then turned it around, revealing a quickly-sketched gesture drawing of Selim's hunched figure in the corner. "Well...I felt a lot like you did once, Faust, believe it or not." He leaned over to offer the pencil and paper to Selim, a few blank sheets of paper underneath if the second year decided he wanted to start fresh.

"Do you think maybe drawing might help ground you just as well? Might be better than wounding your own body. Gotta take care of that; you only have one, after all."

Whether or not Selim would take the clipboard, Kit would either hand it over or set it down. In a couple of seconds, he'd get back up and go back behind the screen, returning to Tymiko's shape, voice, and demeanor. The girl took a deep breath before coming out again.

"You said earlier that it doesn't matter whether or not I look like an adult because I am one, but that's not true," she told the boy calmly, going back to sit where Kit had. "One day I decided I didn't want to grow up. So I stopped."

@Selim Faust