mirrorball PV A. Lewis Ended

@Allie Lewis

The other girl seemed properly intimidated, which was good, as Ana really didn't have the energy to do much more than she already had. She arched an eyebrow slightly when the girl said she hadn't been thinking. Ana could tell that much. Still, other than that, she didn't react one way or another to the girl's apologies. Lately, it seemed as if apologies and really words, in general, were meaningless. It was so easy to deceive others that Ana had difficultly trusting anything anyone said these days.

The rumors about her, for example, had been birthed by nothing more than her and her family going completely socially quiet for a few months and maybe someone spotting a few Aurors at Beckett Manor. For all anyone knew, there had been a small burglary, hence the Aurors, and all of the Becketts had been shaken enough by it to keep their heads low for a while. That wasn't the truth, but it was closer than the rumors were.

It seemed that no one could be trusted, not even herself. While she still fully stood behind her reaction the previous day, she was somewhat horrified at the ease with which she had attacked another person. It hadn't been like her illegal duels, spells gone wrong, or even punching Gem at the Blossom Ball. All of those had been for fairly solid and immediate reasons, and she had been fully in control of her actions. Yesterday though, she had completely lost control, which terrified her. If she was capable of doing something like that, who was to say that her father wasn't capable of worse? That was the one thing she couldn't bear to think since the implications meant something so dark and so wrong that Ana doubted she would survive if she were to find out that they were true.

She thought she detected a hint of irritation in the other girl's introduction, but she didn't care enough to do or say anything about it. The first year hadn't previously introduced herself, or if she had, it hadn't been memorable enough for Ana to bother retaining. "Anastasia," she said, her tone neither irritated nor friendly. She supposed that she ought to be offended the girl didn't know her name, with all the rumors that were flying about, but seeing as she had quite the range of titles in those rumors, from "Pillar of Fire" to "Queen of Mean", she didn't think too much of Allie not knowing her actual name

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@Anastasia Beckett
OOC: Allie keeps doing things that may provoke Ana and IC she has no idea! ;P

To her relief - and surprise - the older student didn't say or do anything in response to Allie's admission about not thinking besides raise an eyebrow. Maybe she was warming up to her? Shoving that thought away, thinking it much too silly and unrealistic, Allie hesitated. The other student seemed to be thinking about something, and although she hadn't said a word aloud, the first year could tell it wasn't something good. It was a skill of hers, being able to read people's expressions and such after spending a little time with them.

The Gryffindor introduced herself in a monotone voice, like it didn't matter anyway. The Ravenclaw girl nodded once. A memory sparked up from the day before - what the other girl with red hair had said to her friend before getting attacked. Now that Allie knew her name, she couldn't believe she had forgotten it. The name just seemed to fit with the girl sitting in front of her.

There was a short beat of silence. Allie picked at her food, not very hungry anymore. She regretted having filled her plate up so much. . . Oh well. She sighed and ate a couple more bites, then put her fork down. "So. . . do you have any nicknames?" she asked the girl in front of her suddenly. Anastasia seemed like a longish name, and usually names that long got shortened into a nickname. "Like, I don't know, maybe. . . Ana?" That was the most obvious nickname for the name Anastasia, and the first one that came to mind. It seemed like an innocent enough question to ask. . .

Allie had no clue about any of the rumors circling the older student, and therefore had no idea about any of the names the other students called her behind her back. All she knew about the Gryffindor was that she had attacked another student - Scarlett, she remembered someone saying was her name - her name, and that she was in the third year, the latter two of which she had just been told. Allie had never been interested in gossiping about others, she would much rather be in her Common Room or the Library reading. Plus, she didn't exactly know anyone well enough to be having a conversation that didn't include introductions and or lots of questions anyway, so. . .

The eleven year old waited for a reply to her question, looking expectantly up at the Gryffindor.

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@Allie Lewis

The Gryffindor rolled her eyes slightly. What ever happened to Allie's promises not to bother her? Still, Ana didn't have the energy to really explode at her, she seldom did for things other than the slimy gossips who were spreading rumors about her these days. She poked at her food and took a few more sips of coffee in the silence that continued. She would be lying if she said it was wholely unpleasant not to be alone. Sure, the first year was more than a little annoying, but it was still vastly preferable to her usual solitude that was filled with thoughts of her summer and her mother.

She sucked her teeth in an unladylike manner that would have resulted in her parents scolding her if they saw. The thought took her by surprise before shooting a prang of hurt through her. That thought that had accompanied so much of her life just wasn't valid anymore. Her mother wasn't alive to scold her, and her father was a tad preoccupied, what with being held for murder. She bit her lip and turned her focus to her not entirely unwanted companion who had decided to pipe up again. "As a matter of fact, yes" she said, her tone a degree or two warmer than before but still rather cold towards the first year. It seemed she wasn't going to take the hint and go away, so Ana would have to resign herself to Allie's company at the moment.

She was still stinging a bit at the causal thought that had popped into her mind. That had been happening a bit more lately as she wasn't completely focused on the tragedy that had become her life, and it hurt just as much if not worse than dwelling on her mother's death and the circumstances surrounding it. The idea that she could think about something she had thought about a thousand times before, and for a split second, forget all that had happened and then remember like it was happening all over again. She wasn't sure how she was going to live like this. What she needed was for her father to be proven innocent and to come home. That wouldn't fix things, but it would give her something to depend on. Her father wasn't a good or kind father, he was cold and emotionally manipulative at best, but he was something she had thought she could be sure of. Something that she could set her watch to. If she allowed herself to believe that he was truly guilty of what the Aurors claimed, she knew she would fall apart again, likely beyond repair this time.

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@Anastasia Beckett

Noticing an odd expression on the older girl's face, Allie opened her mouth to ask about it, then quickly clamped it shut again. She was already probably pushing her luck by just sitting here at this table at all, and after Anastasia yelling at her earlier, well. . . Allie wasn't keen on asking any questions that weren't totally simple and had no chance of provoking an outburst. But still, the third year seemed upset. At least, more upset than she had been the whole time the two were eating. She almost seemed. . . hurt? No, never mind. Sighing, Allie bit her lip to keep from asking anymore prying questions and sat back in her chair.

"As a matter of fact, yes" Came Anastasia's reply. The eleven year old nodded, hearing the change of tone in her voice. Maybe she really was warming up to having Allie here after all. . . The thought gave her a little more courage to ask another question.

"Um, can I call you Ana?" she asked, a little uncertainly. "I mean, it's fine if you say no, but. . ." Allie trailed off, not really knowing what her argument was going to be. It was getting a little annoying, having to make sure her words didn't annoy the Gryffindor any more than she already had. Glancing around the Great Hall, she noticed a few other students were still trickling into the room. How long has it been since I first got here? The Ravenclaw wondered. If people were still arriving, it couldn't have been quite a long time. It probably seemed a lot longer than it actually had been.

Turning back to Anastasia, Allie picked up her fork again and ate in silence for a little longer. The conversation had dwindled out fast, if you could even call it a conversation, and there really wasn't much more to talk about. . . Oh, there was one thing that she remembered hearing about. "Did you hear about the fall dance coming up?" she said. "I heard that a few other schools will be coming because there's another event happening as well. . . Beauxbatons, Ilvermorny, and Durmstrang, right?" she paused, hoping Anastasia would reply and the conversation could actually start, instead of her being the only one talking. Although Allie had only heard a couple whispered rumors about it, she was quite curious. . .

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@Allie Lewis

Ana arched an eyebrow haughtily at the girl's request. It was a reasonable request given that Ana had confirmed people did in fact call her that. She supposed she liked the fact that the girl asked instead of presuming. She considered for a moment. Only grown-ups called her Anastasia and only people who vehemently disliked her called her Beckett. Not to mention, her parents called her Anastasia and shared her surname. Ana was a bit less emotionally loaded than the other obvious options. Ana half wondered if she ought to just start going by one of her middle names. She had far more than any reasonable person needed, so she might as well use them for something.

"You may," Ana finally replied. This girl was already growing on her, which irritated her. All she wanted this year was to brood and mostly keep to herself and it seemed that her friends, random gossips, and half the first years had made a pact to do anything necessary to prevent that from happening. Even she was betraying herself by taking a liking to this girl. Why wasn't it easier for her to just completely and utterly isolate herself? She knew it was just a matter of time before she finally fully broke down, and she didn't particularly want anyone around to witness that.

To be perfectly honest, that wasn't the only reason she didn't want anyone around. She honestly had no idea who she was anymore. So much of her short life had been spent striving to be the perfect daughter, and now, that was not only an impossibility, but it seemed to be a complete farce. She had thought she was confident and smart and quite frankly, better than everyone, simply by virtue of being Anastasia Beckett. Now she was some pathetic, self-loathing mess who was on the verge of fighting everyone in sight. What did that say about her that so much of who she was depended on other people? Was she anything more than a reflection? A wisp that was going to fade away? She couldn't be. That terrified her.

She latched on to the mention of a dance. It was her life vest, saving her from drowning in her thoughts. "I hadn't, actually," she said, soundly vaguely interested, which was a vast improvement from her previous flat affect. "I hope that it's a bit less eventful than the past few." Did she even want to go to a dance? If you had asked her before, she would have leapt at the prospect of a ball, but now she wasn't certain. The entire prospect of picking out a dress and speanding an evening spinning sounded so frilly and shallow to her now. Still, it was something her mother had taken a great deal of joy in, so maybe that could make Ana feel like she wasn't fully gone?

September 8th, 2020
Interacting with @Anastasia Beckett

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At Allie's request, Anastasia raised an eyebrow but then seemed to be contemplating her answer for a while. It felt like it took forever for her to respond, although it really only lasted for a few seconds. Her answer was simple, only two words, and yet the tone in which she said those two words was considerably warmer than anything else she had said to the first year. Allie didn't think Ana herself noticed any difference in her tone, but to the Ravenclaw it made a big difference. Not even bothering to hide her smile, she nodded. "Thank you," There was another long pause in their conversation and Allie took the time to finish off the last of her food.

When Ana mentioned that she had not heard anything about the possible dance coming up, Allie hurried to explain what she'd heard to the older girl, a little proud that she knew this before Ana did. "I'm not even sure if it's actually happening yet," she admitted before she began. "I heard a rumor from one of my friends about it though, and they said that there might be a dance coming up." She hesitated a little after hearing Anastasia's remark about how eventful the past dances have been, and she tilted her head slightly to one side. "Why, what happened at the last few balls?" she asked curiously.

Her imagination deciding to run wild, random thoughts popped into her head one by one, each more horrible than the one before. Did something go wrong? Did someone get hurt? Did someone die? Allie was pretty certain that nobody had died at a ball. . . but she wasn't 100 percent sure. The girl didn't dare bring it up to the older student, however, not wanting her to think she was crazy, because she wasn't. Maybe everything was just really wonderful, she thought hopefully. Of course, she could tell this wasn't true from the look on the other girl's face, but she could dream, couldn't she?

"I've never been to a ball before," Allie remarked. "What are they like?" The question was directed towards Ana, who had clearly been to multiple already.

So sorry for how long this took, I had written out half of it and then forgotten to finish it!

@Allie Lewis

Ana stubbornly refused to notice the smile. Despite the intentions of Dealla, Jess, this girl, and seemingly the universe, Ana was a loner. She was shutting people out and that was that. Except that wasn't that. Ana was nothing if not an extrovert, and her self-imposed isolation was definitely not helping to improve her morose outlook. She liked to think that she was aware of her flaws, and one that she was intimately familiar with was her tendency to blow things out of proportion if she didn't have someone to talk things out with. Take something that was already massively problematic and remove all of Ana's regular common-sense filters, and Ana's resulting mental state was a deeply unpleasant thing.

Ana's plate was now empty, or as empty as it was going to get, as was her coffee mug. She already had a ringing headache and was more than a little jittery, so for once, Ana was going to pause on the coffee. Sipping from a glass of water, she turned her remaining attention to Allie. She nodded slightly when the younger girl said she had heard rumors about a dance. There had been a Masked Ball last year, and while Ana hadn't attended, she had heard it was most eventful. It made sense for younger students to assume that there would be another one this year. Ana would be a bit surprised if the professors condoned it, given the catastrophe that was the Secret Blossom Ball only a few months before, but then again, this was Hogwarts and nothing was off the table. "Suffice it to say that they're never boring," Ana said enigmatically. Perhaps things would be perfect at this one, and if that were the case, she would hate to have dampened the girl's enthusiasm for the event.

"They're generally quite nice to start off with," Ana offered, still unwilling to elaborate any further. "There's been a few fires and fights, but there's always hope that next time will be a tad more dignified." Was Ana downplaying things? Just a bit. Still, it seemed that the universe took great pleasure in twisting her words, so if she made a joke about giants stomping on things, she could almost guarantee that the next dance would be interrupted by some type of large beings, if not exactly giants.