Save Me Book

Chapter 1 - A Good Day Turned Rotten

Why does every good day have to turn out to be one of the most rotten days of your life? I never thought my senior year would turn into one of the worst maybe even the worst year of my life, but who am I to speak? It is not my fault that everything is falling apart, but maybe it is?

It was finally winter break of my senior year of high school. A break I had been looking forward to ever since the year had started. This break meant I had done it. I had passed the first half of my senior year and only had less than half a year left before I was out of school and off into the world of college and adulthood. It was scary to think about, but I was ready for a new challenge.

The bus ride home was short. Shorter than usual. For some reason I knew something was wrong. If not wrong, then soon to be. I frantically made my way down the aisle of the bus and bolted out the door and into the yard of the house my mother and I shared. My father had gone off on a business trip, so we were running the house while he was away.

I slammed the door shut behind me and ran into the kitchen where my confused mother and younger sister. I breathed out a relieved sigh and collapsed into the seat next to my sister.

“You okay?” She asked.

Of course Nora would ask that of all things. At five years younger than myself Nora was the most inquisitive thirteen year old I had ever met. It shocked me honestly that she could read people better than myself.

“Kayla.” My mother’s voice knocked my from my thoughts.

“What? Oh. I’m fine. There’s been a lot on my mind recently.” I quickly responded.

My mother was far from convinced. She gave me the look that said we would talk later. I gulped. Talking with her meant a trauma dump about anything and everything. Not fun, but beneficial.

“By the way, Matt’s coming over later for dinner. I figured I would invite him since we haven’t had him over for awhile. Got a problem with that?” My mother raised her eyebrow as I shook my head.

The truth was, I really did not have a problem with Matt coming over. We had been best friends from the day he had moved in next door until about sophomore year when he decided that girls were not great study partners or a good person to confide in. Ever since then the two of us had kept a respectable distance from each other. We rarely even talked. When I mean rarely I mean the last thing he said to me was happy birthday on my birthday and that was three months ago now.

I had no idea how our reunion would go, but I had the feeling it would not be all sunshine and rainbows. Actually, it would probably be storm clouds and rain. Not a great way to end the day.

“How can I help with dinner?” I asked my mother as I stood up from where I was sitting.

“Well, I’m making bean-less chili for tonight, so could you finish cooking this ground hamburger for me while I get the tomatoes and onions ready?” I nodded and grabbed the wooden spoon from her as she walked towards where a few cans of tomatoes and an onion lay.

Cooking ground hamburger was easy. There was really no way I could mess it up, so that was a bonus. I stirred it gently until my mother gave her approving nod. Then I dumped the still hot hamburger into the pot of chili. I watched as my mother added the seasoning and the last few ingredients. The room was filled with the delicious smell of chili now.

I spent the rest of the day until Matt arrived by helping my sister with the table and inventing a new game with her. The goal of our game was to see who could guess the song playing on the radio correct faster. By the end we were all laughing and having a good time. It was typical of Matt to arrive at our peak moment of laughter. The surprise on his face was priceless and only made me laugh harder.

“Oh, Matt, I’m sorry you had to walk into this. Come with me. Make yourself at home.” My mother ushered Matt away as he gave me a confused look.

I shrugged in his direction as a small smile escaped my lips. Finally I understood something he did not. Well, there was a first time for everything!

My mother brought Matt into the kitchen and sat him down on the bar that overlooked the kitchen. A great way to keep him distracted as Nora and I regained our composure.

It took us about five minutes to stop laughing and switch out of our cleaning clothes and into some decent clothes for company. Though my version of decency around Matt was a Guns and Roses band t-shirt with some simple ripped blue jeans. A normal outfit I would wear at school.

Dinner was amazing. It was as if we were living in the old times before sophomore year ruined Matt and I’s friendship. Laughter filled the table as old memories were brought back. Fun ones, sad ones, funny ones, all of it.

Then the phone rang. My mother was old fashioned and still had a working phone on the wall ‘for emergencies’ she always said. That was when it came to me. Was this an emergency? Who was calling us at this hour on that wall phone?

I exchanged a quick glance with my mother as she stood up to answer the phone. Dread pooled at the bottom of my stomach. I had the bad feeling that something was very wrong.

I could hear my mother talking at the end of the hallway. It was call and response until my mother fell silent. That was when I became worried.

I stood up and Matt followed suit. I had no idea why. As far as I knew, he did not even care about my family anymore. So why did he follow me?

I did not have time to consider that. I had to make sure my mom was okay. I had to know what was going on.

“Mom?” I asked.

I stopped in my tracks and Matt bumped into my back. Completely unaware as to what was happening. Typical.

“Hey. Why did you—“ He stopped talking when he saw the look on my mother’s face.

“Mom?” I asked again.

Her eyes were blank. Unseeing. The phone dropped from her hand and bounced off the cord before it hit the floor.

“What’s wrong, Mom?” I asked as I took a step closer.

“Your-your father- is- dead.” She stammered out as she clutched her hand on her chest.

I stood there in complete shock. Even Matt was frozen in place. My father. Dead. The words ran over me. What had happened? I wanted to ask, but then the worst thing imaginable happened. My mother cried out before collapsing to the floor. Her body shivering.

“Mom!” I cried out as I fell to the floor beside her.

Matt fell beside me. His hand resting on my back as the other gently touched my mother.

That was when my sister came into the room.

“Call 911. Get help.” I told her. Tears streaking down my face.

The last thing I heard before the world started ringing was, “911. What’s your emergency.”

Word Count: 1278

Chapter 2 - Broken Pieces

The paramedics took what felt like forever. I sat there hovering over my mother’s lifeless body. There was nothing I could do. I just had to watch as the life slowly drained out of her body.

Then the ambulance came. The ringing of the sirens in my ears and the flashing red and blue lights filled the room and bounced off the walls. Matt pulled me away from my mother’s body. I had no fight left to strain against his grip. I was useless. Broken beyond repair. My father was dead and my mother probably was too. I was an orphan. Left alone to pick up the pieces.

I could barely register what was happening. I did not even look to see how Nora was doing. She was so young. Too young to have to experience this awful moment. The moment her mother probably died right before her eyes.

Then the sobs began. They were inevitable. I felt Matt wrap his arms around my chest. For comfort or to keep me out of the way I did not know, but what I did know was that he was making everything worse. Why did he have to be here? He was never there in the past, so why did he act like he cared now when my world was breaking?

I began to squirm out of his grip, but he just held me tighter. That just made me angrier, but I had no fight left to break through or fight back. I had to save that for later when it mattered more.

The paramedics rolled my mom out of the house and into the ambulance on a stretcher. Now that she was gone, my brain finally kicked back into action. I stood up. Finally released from Matt’s grip. Then I walked over to a rack with keys organized neatly and grabbed the keys to my car.

“Come on, Nora. Let’s go. If we leave now, we should get to the hospital at a decent time.” I said absentmindedly.

That was when Matt finally took a stand against me. He grabbed by arm. Gripping it firmly, but not too tight. A fierce fire was in his eyes.

“No. Let me drive you. You’re in no condition to drive yourself.” He gently pried the keys out of my hand before he walked out the door and towards my car.

I placed my hand on Nora’s back and led her to my car. I opened the back door of my car and made sure she was buckled in before I walked to the front passenger door and buckled myself in.

“You ready to go?” Matt asked.

All I could do was nod. The words never came to me. They were gone like the wind. My mind replaying what had happened over and over again.

The horror on my mother’s face. The moment she clutched her chest. The moment she. . . collapsed. She looked so lifeless as if there was no fight left in her. That was what hurt most. She had two children still yet it was as if we did not matter anymore the second her husband died.

I held back the tears as the rain began. A steady downpour. No lightning. No thunder. Just rain. I leaned my head against the window. Not even noticing when Matt turned his head to check on me. His face full of concern probably for the rain. There was no way he cared about my well being anymore. Not since he abandoned me two years before.

The ride to the hospital felt longer than the ten minutes it should have been. Dread was pooling in the pit of my stomach again as adrenaline coursed through my veins. I was wired for sound, but nothing would come. My body was lifeless, but my mind was rapidly working. Thought out what was to come filling my mind. Making me feel more on edge as to what was to come.

Finally we made it to the emergency room entrance. Matt easily found a place to park. That alone surprised me. The emergency room entrance was always busy. Emergencies were a normal occurrence which added to the awful feeling that filled me.

“Hey. Are you okay? You’re quiet.” Matt asked me as we walked towards the entrance.

“I’m fine. Why do you care anyway?” I snapped back.

His mouth opened to respond, but I walked ahead. I did not want to listen to what he had to say. I knew it would be lies. Words he did not mean just to make himself look better. How predictable of him.

I was lucky that the hospital doors stood right before me. That meant I could avoid the awkward and frustrating conversation I had the feeling was coming with Matt. The only thing holding me back was worry. What was I going to find when I walked in there? Once I stepped in, there would be no going back. My old life would be gone.

Nora’s hand grasped mine. I glanced down at her as she gave me a small smile. Her eyes sparkling with tears she had refused to let fall. Somehow my sister was stronger than I was. There was no stopping the flow of tears for me.

We walked inside together with Matt in tow. There was no turning back now.

I released Nora’s hand. It was my turn to be the adult I was and figure everything out. It was my responsibility to take care of everything now.

“Hello. Has Amanda Norton been admitted?” I asked the receptionist who was sitting and typing on her computer at the front desk.

“Amanda Norton? I don’t see her in the system yet. Please wait over there and I’ll be sure to send the doctor over when he comes.” She smiled a sympathetic smile as she pointed to the waiting room chairs.

I collapsed into a chair. Nora sat down on one side of me and Matt sat on my other side. Now was the hard part. Now I had to wait for the news I had been dreading ever since my mother collapsed to the ground before my eyes.

Word Count: 1030

Chapter 3 - No News is Good News

I sat in the waiting room of the hospital staring at the wall as the rest of the world worked around me. It was as if no matter what happened in my life the rest of the world moved on as if nothing had happened. It was not that the people were careless. No. The just did not know. They did not understand and probably never would unless they experienced something similar themselves.

My knee bounced constantly. It was the only way I could express my anxiousness without losing my mind. What else was there to do when you were waiting for news that could change your life forever?

The doctor walked into the waiting room. I immediately stood. Unsure of what I was even doing, but of course my action got the doctor’s attention. He walked over slowly. Sympathy etched across his face and I knew the news we were about to receive would break me.

“Hello. Are you the children of Amanda Norton?” He questioned.

I nodded and I guess that was all he needed for confirmation. “Yes. I’m Kayla and this is my sister, Nora.”

He nodded in understanding before he spoke, “Well, as I can see you’re old enough to hear the truth, so I’ll just say it. Your mother had a major heart attack. She’s lucky to be alive right now, but she’s in the ICU and things aren’t looking good. She’s not stable as of now, but my team is working their hardest to stabilize her now. I suggest going home and getting some rest and come back at a later time. It’s going to be a long night.”

I would have collapsed to the floor if Matt had not been there and placed his hand on my back. The shock of his touch jolted me back into the present. My mother was dying. She had a heart attack. How? She was healthy. Why? Why did this have to happen? Why was the world so against me?

“Thank you for telling us.” Matt spoke for me.

My voice was gone. I was speechless. That was probably a good thing otherwise I would scream until my lungs burned and there was no voice left for me to cry out with. I was in despair. My anguish taking over my body.

“Get Nora home. I’ll stay here.” I finally managed to say after pushing Matt’s hand away from me.

I did not want his comfort and pity. No. He had lost the privilege to be there for me the day he decided I was not good enough to be called his friend.

“Kayla. No. Don’t make me leave! I need to stay with you! What if something happens and I’m not here!” Nora cried out.

I was surprised she did not fall to her knees and beg. Her voice was enough to make me rethink what I was saying only for a moment. Then I regained my bearings.

“No. You need to rest. I’ll let you know if anything changes, but the only thing you can do here is sit and wait. Only I can go in the ICU anyway.” I pulled her into a tight embrace before I let her go and turned to Matt.

“Get her home and keep her safe. Will you?” I asked him. My eyes pleading.

He nodded sternly. “Of course I’ll get her home. I’ll be back later to sit with you. You shouldn’t be alone up here.”

He probably meant that as an ‘I don’t want you to suffer alone’ type of ordeal, but I was in no mood for pity. I did not need his help or his comfort. Not anymore. I could handle myself.

“No. Stay with Nora. I’ll be fine here.” I spoke harshly. Making it clear I did not want his pity or comfort.

He did not look convinced, but he walked away towards the entrance without another word. A wide-eyed Nora in tow.

I collapsed back into my chair. Slapping my head over my face and rubbing it. I was exhausted. My day that had gone so well now falling into the category of probably the worst day of my life.

I do not remember falling asleep, but I did sometime in the early morning. The doctor had not come with news since Nora and Matt had left, so a short amount of sleep sounded like a good idea.

I woke up with a jacket wrapped around my shoulders that was not there before and a sleeping Matt sprawled out in the chair beside me. His head was tipped downward and I held myself back from brushing the hair out of his face. Then my anger rose. Why was he here and not with Nora? I had told him to stay with her and not leave her alone.

“What are you doing here? Where’s Nora?” I whispered furiously.

He awoke with a start. He brushed his hair out of his face. Making it even more of a mess than it already was.

“Your sister’s fine. She’s with my mother. I told you I wasn’t going to leave you waiting all alone up here.” He whispered back. A smirk playing across his face.

“What are you smirking at?” I asked gruffly as I threw his jacket at him.

Then I stood up. If anything, I needed to use the bathroom the most after sitting in a chair all night long and not moving.

“Nothing.” He laughed before his face turned serious. “Where are you going?”

Did he seriously just ask that? Why did he care all of a sudden?

“To the bathroom. Why do you care? You’re not my keeper.” I snapped.

He raised his eyebrows in surprise as I walked away. Wow. One night spent barely sleeping in a hospital waiting room could make a person grumpy.

Luckily the bathroom was not far. After I did my business, I approached the sink that had a mirror in front of it. I looked terrible. My face was pale and dark circles were under my eyes. Making my green eyes stand put even more than usual. Then there was my hair. My once nice-looking braid was now a stringy mess with pieces of my brown hair sticking up everywhere.

I looked down. I could not even look at myself in the mirror. My fists clenched as the tears came again. I was gasping for air as the tears flowed freely down my cheeks. The sobs coming out hard. Loud. Inevitable. For the first time in my life I finally felt what it felt like to be truly alone.

Word count: 1102

Chapter 4 - Maybe Later

I splashed water across my face to hide the fact I had been crying. I did not want to give Matt the satisfaction he needed that I was falling apart. It was already enough that he was here at the hospital when I did not need him. Why did he have to be so stubborn? Why did he have to be so blind that he did not even realize that I am an independent woman and did not need the shoulder of a man to cry on?

I looked into the mirror again after splashing water upon my face. It was a far from perfect cover up, but it worked and that is what mattered. At least my sobbing spell would not be so obvious.

Now it was finally time to face Matt again. That thought alone made me shiver. There was no escaping. He was stubborn enough to stay and not listen no matter how much I did not want him here, so what was the using in trying to push through what I could not change? Well, at least I could say that I tried to end any connections between us, but nothing I did worked.

A frustrated sigh escaped my lips the moment I noticed Matt was still sitting there smugly. The only thing different was his mother standing nearby. I immediately approached her. Unlike her son, she had never pushed me away. If anything, she had become a second mother to me. I embraced her tightly and buried my face into her neck. She was all I had left now besides my sister.

“How are you holding up?” She asked gently.

Her voice was soft. Soothing. If I was not already at my breaking point I would have immediately been calmed, but this was not one of those cases.

“I’m fine.” I lied.

She pulled me from our hug and looked into my eyes. Her eyes were bright blue. Piercing. They saw right through the facade I had tried so hard to put up.

“No. You’re not. You don’t have to lie to me. I’m here for you.” She responded finally.

I nodded. My spirit was gone. After what was probably the worst sleep of my life, my exhaustion was getting the better of me. Stripping me of my other senses and leaving me a shell of myself.

I allowed her to guide me back to where Matt was still sitting. She sat me down gently before grabbing her own bag and sitting down on my other side. A quick glance in the bag brought memories flooding back.

That bag was the one my mother had given her for Christmas five years before. She has seen it in a thrift store and immediately it reminded her of Matt’s mother. My mother had told me a story about when they were still kids and Matt’s mother had a bag she loved just like the one in our cart. Of course she purchased that bag and gave it to Matt’s mother for Christmas. That was one of the only times I had seen Matt’s mother cry about something. It was so sweet and heartfelt what my mother did and now she probably just lost her chance to do it again.

“Are you two hungry? I brought some snacks just in case.” She smiled a sweet smile that was supposed to make me feel better, but instead I became more miserable.

“Sure. Why not? I haven’t had anything to eat since last night. What about you, Kay?” Matt commented his face pointed in my direction.

“I’ll pass, and don’t call me Kay.” I glared in his direction.

He acted surprised, but we both knew he should not have said that. He lost calling me nicknames as a right years ago. He did not deserve it after what he had done.

His mother must have noticed the tension between us. Leave it to her to finally distract the two of us from making an embarrassing scene out in public. She had done simple acts like this and saved my reputation many times past. I was indebted to her.

“Here. Have some peanut butter crackers. That’ll get you by until we can get you guys some real food, and Kayla? Are you sure you’re not hungry? You haven’t eaten since last night.” Her brow furrowed in concern.

The truth was, the last thing I wanted was to eat food. After watching my mother collapse to the floor in a heap I could not build up an appetite. It was as if my appetite died along with part of my mother. My father was dead. This is why I am here in the hospital waiting for good news that may never come.

“No. I’m not hungry.” I turned my face downcast. I could not look at either of them.

That was when the doctor came again.

“Miss Norton I presume?” He questioned.

“Oh. Um. Yes. That’s me. How is my mom?” I responded quickly.

I stood up hopefully. Maybe she was going to be okay? Maybe she was finally being moved from the ICU?

“Your mother has been stabilized, but her condition is worsening by the hour. My extensive care team is working overtime to save her, but we have only hit a wall.”

My mouth hung open. What? My mother was dying? Dying right before my eyes. How could this have happened? Matt’s mother wrapped her arm around my shoulder and held me tight. Without her, I would have collapsed to the group in a broken heap.

“Are visitors accepted at this time?” Matt’s mother questioned.

“Yes, but only family at this time.”

Matt’s mother grabbed my shoulders and turned me so I faced her. I looked down towards the ground until her gentle hand lifted my chin.

“Listen to me, Kayla. Go and see your mother. We’ll be waiting out here for you to come back then we’ll take you home. You need some food and a good rest.” She hugged me before releasing me. She urged me forward.

“Right this way, Miss Norton.” The doctor spoke as he walked away.

I followed him. Unsure of what I was to find on the other side of the doors that lay before us.

Word Count: 1042

Chapter 5 - Don't Leave Me

The ICU was different compared to what I had originally expected. The doctor let me through a door he scanned with his badge. The smell of antiseptic was strong. It was strong enough to knock my exhausted self back into focus. Maybe that was why they used rubbing alcohol to bring people back if they pass out. I had never realized until now how well it actually worked. Once I was inside the ICU, I was shocked by how open it was. I had always expected the ICU to be full of beeping machines and tight space. It was the opposite. It was quiet with plenty of open space. The only sound coming from distant machines beeping and the occassional cough of a patient within their room.

“This way, Miss Norton.” The doctor spoke calmly.

I followed the doctor down a more narrow hallway. The front wall to these rooms were glass like the main area of the ICU, but this hallway was different. The curtains were drawn over the windows, but the doors were open. It was also eerily silent with only a quiet beeping of a heart monitor. Something was off. This was not right. What happened to the open area? What part of the ICU was this?

“She’s in this room. I have other patients to attend to, but I will be here later to bring you back. Visiting hours will end within the next hour.” He smiled, but it was not warm nor sympathetic. It was a smile that knew the hardships of people that waited and waited by the bedsides of people that never woke back up.

I swallowed hard as I made the first steps to what could be a big mistake. What was I thinking? Nothing good came out of the ICU. I would just leave more broken-hearted than I already was! Maybe I should just leave now and avoid the sharp pain I could feel coming.

Then I remembered Nora. She would want to know everything that was happening with mom as she was too young to enter the ICU. I had to take the leap and face the pain. If not for my sake, then for Nora’s.

My shoes squeaked against the clean floor as I entered the room. Though that was not what made me stop. I stopped because I finally saw my mother for the first time since her heart attack.

There she was lying motionless on a hopsital bed. Her eyes closed and a breathing tube down her throat. I could barely even hear the beep-beep of the heart monitor. With a quick glance, I saw that her heart rate was low. Well, low enough to make me nervous. I did not know if sixty was a good resting heartbeat or not. I was far from a medical professional at only eighteen.

I crept slowly up to her bed. I did not dare touch her as I finally made it to her side. I was glad for the chair that sat nearby. I barely had time to pull it close before my legs gave out. I sat there in a heap at her side. What was there to do? To say? She probably could not hear my voice anyway. Or maybe she could?
“Hey, mom. I don’t know if you can hear me, but I’m here. I’m right here. Matt and Angela are waiting outside in the waiting room and Nora’s at their house resting.” I paused. My emotions choking my voice.

“Why did this have to happen? You were supposed to be the strong one. I can’t lose you too now that dad’s dead.” I choked out with frustration in my voice.

Angry tears filled my vision as I pulled my knees close to my chest, laid my head on my knees, then I cried angry tears. I was alone for the first time in my life and I felt it deeply. Of course it had to be Christmastime when everything wend south. That was how life worked. Only the best of times are saved for the times you least expect them instead of the times that you actually need goodness in your life.

I do not know how long I sat there staring at my mother and hoping she would just open her eyes and be completely normal. Though deep down I knew that would never happen. Maybe never again.

Nurses had been in and out as I sat there. Some checked my mother’s vitals while others? Well, I do not know what others did. I was so caught up in my own emotions that I lost count of how many times one of them asked how I was doing. All I really gave them was a subconscious nod before they walked away to attend to another patient. I had nothing left. No wind in my sails. All the life had been sucked out of me the moment I stepped into this room. I should not have come and I knew it, but I had to. For Nora.

The doctor eventually came in. His once perfectly pressed white coat now disheveled. He must have had a rough time, but I did not dare ask. There were no words left to speak.

“Miss Norton? Visiting hours have ended. I’m here to escort you back out to the waiting room. Your friends are waiting to take you home.” The doctor laid a gently yet firm hand on my shoulder and guided me up and through the ICU to the waiting room.

He was right. Matt and his mother, Angela, were still there waiting for me.

Matt’s mother must have taken one look at my face and knew I was in a dark place. She wrapped me tightly in her arms. A hug of a mother that promised to never let go or leave. My mother had done that same hug yet here she was. Dying in a hospital bed in the ICU. I guess promises like that are empty. Worthless.

“Come on, Kayla, let’s go home.” Were the only words she spoke softly into my ear.

I gave her a slight nod and followed as she and Matt led me out the hospital doors and out into the harsh, cold reality of the real world.

Word Count: 1047

Chapter 6 - A Shell of my Past Self

I do not remember the ride home with Matt’s mother. Honestly? I do not even remember falling to sleep in the guest bedroom at their house last night. I was dead to the world. A shell of myself. Broken beyond repair. It was that following morning that I woke to weak sunlight streaming in through the windows which used to make me joyful for a new day, but now it meant nothing. All that weak sunshine meant was that I could live another day healthy though not exactly happy to be when my mother was fighting for her life in the ICU. Alone.

I get up slowly and creep toward the edge of the bed. My legs hanging off the side as my feet touched the cold floor. The cold should have knocked me back into focus, but I was numb. Completely oblivious to any and all of the signals my body sent me.

I pulled on a sweater and jeans found at the foot of my bed. Someone must have either known my size perfectly or stopped by my house to grab me some clothes. Once dressed, it was time to face what I dreaded facing. Other people. I could not stand the sympathetic glances I knew were coming. It was as if they were trying to break me apart all over again without even realizing what they were doing.

I opened the door slowly. It creaked in protest, but at least it opened. No one was in the hallway. Good. I did not want to face anyone yet. I had to pull myself together and act as if I was not falling apart.

I could smell bacon and waffles cooking from the kitchen. The sweet smells of breakfast wafting through the halls, but they just went over me. I had barely eaten lately, yet I was far from hungry.

“Welcome back from the dead.” Matt’s mother commented from where she stood cooking bacon on the stove.

I tensed. She had only said that as a joke, but it was far from a joke to me. It reminded me even more of how my mother was dead to the world. It was as if she was already gone even though she was still breathing.

Of course Matt’s entrance interrupted my thoughts. He clapped one of his hands on my shoulders I shook it off defensively. He could not just pretend that we were old friends again. We were far from it. If anything, we were enemies that were supposed to tolerate each other when our families were around, so why was he acting so nice now? Even when we were alone without our families around.

“Why are you so chipper?” I mumbled to him as he collapsed into a chair at the bar. Right next to where I was standing.

“Well for one, it’s almost Christmas, and for two, well, look outside! It’s a wonderful day! Why wouldn’t be happy?”

I huffed out a sigh and walked away from him. Of all the times for him to be in a mood of course it was the time I could not handle it.

“Kayla?” I heard a small voice whisper.

I turned to see Nora’s frightful eyes staring deeply into mine. I walked over to her and pulled her tightly into an embrace. She clutched my shirt tightly.

“How’s Mom?” She questioned.

She broke the embrace enough to look up into my eyes.

“She’s going to be fine. She’s just resting now. I’ll go and see her after breakfast.” I responded.

I had lied to her. I had to. I knew Mom would not be fine. Not after how I had seen her lying there motionless in the hospital bed. Though I could not let Nora lose hope. She was too young to know the full truth. I was afraid that if she did find out, it would destroy her.

I caught Matt’s eyes staring back at me after Nora walked over to his mother. He knew I was lying. As much as I wish he did not know me, he knew me. We had grown up together, and a couple years of separation did not remove years of past history.

“You know what? I think I’m going to head to the hospital now. There’s no point in putting it off.” I commented as I walked to where my keys sat on the bar. Matt had dropped them off there when he had walked into the room.

“What about breakfast? You need to eat.” Matt’s mom glanced at me. Her brows were furrowed with worry.

“I’ll be fine. I’m not hungry anyway.”

“I’ll come with you. You shouldn’t go alone.” Matt stood up from where he sat. Determination etched across his face.

“No. I’d rather go alone. I’ll see you guys later.” I walked away before anyone could protest.

I made myself believe that if I hurried, no one would follow me, but I knew I was not that lucky. Sooner or later someone would show up at the hospital and ruin everything for me all over again. It was already hard enough watching my mother’s life slowly ebb away, but adding more drama to the mix? That sounded like torture.

I cranked the volume up on the stereo in my car as I drove to the hospital. The sad music that played on the radio stopped me from thinking about all the sad things that were going to happen to me this Christmas. I had no family to come home to or spend Christmas with besides Nora. We were completely alone.

Yes, we did have Matt’s family, but they were not the same as having your mom and dad with you as you laughed joyfully around the fireplace opening presents and singing Christmas carols. All I felt was that I was an outsider in their world. They had their own traditions for Christmas. Many I knew we did not do as a family. That was what made it hard. The fact that I could not enjoy at least one last Christmas with my entire family. All I ever wished for this Christmas was one last chance to say goodbye.

Word Count: 1030

Chapter 7 - Why Are You Here

I walked into the hospital with my head tilted towards the ground. I told myself that if I did not make eye contact or engage in conversation with anyone that I would be fine. Maybe even make it out of this place unscathed. I do not know why I lied to myself. I knew better than to believe that scars would not form from this place. It was full of darkness and people like me waiting at bedsides for someone that may never wake up again to wake up.

I walked past the nurse station in the ICU. They must have recognized me from the night before or not cared enough to stop me as I walked quietly to where my mother’s room was. It was silent there with only the quiet beep of the heart monitor to keep me company and let me know my mother was still alive.

She looked the same as the night before. Tubes flowing in and out of her to help her breath as well as eat. An IV drip still hung close to her bed. It must have been freshly filled as the bag was full of clear liquid. A heart monitor was still found on the screen and the slow but steady heartbeat still lower than I thought was good for her.

Stepping closer, I gently pulled the chair I used the night before closer to her bed. Though I knew she was most likely dead to the world and would not even hear me moving around her, I was still careful to be quiet. There was something about the way she slept on the bed that caused me to be silent. It looked as if she was just sleeping. Though I was smart enough and old enough to know differently.

My hope was gone now. Especially with my suspicions confirmed that she was not making any progress. If anything she looked worse than the night before. I rubbed my hands across my face. I was tired. Tired of life, and especially tired of sitting here waiting for a miracle that will probably never happen to happen.

The nurse walked in at that moment. I shot up out of the chair and stood. The nurse gave me a sympathetic smile, but she did not say a word. All she did was quietly walk in, take my mother’s vitals, then she walked out to her next patient.

I sat back down in the chair after my startle. I really had to get my act together or was this just my life now? I hoped the latter was not the answer. All I wanted more than anything in this moment was to go back to how things were before everything went bad. Before I lost both my father and my mother. It was Christmas and Christmas was supposed to be a joyful time, but it was anything but joyful. If anything it was starting to turn into the worst Christmas I had ever known.

I heard a scuff of shoes across the floor and whipped my head around. I was shocked to find Matt leaning against the doorway. How in the world had he been given permission to get in here? Why was he even here? It was not like he was close to my mother. Especially after he disappeared from my life two years prior in sophmore year.

“What are you doing here?” I whispered with an edge to my voice. A challenge I hoped he could recognize.

His eyes widened slightly in surprise. His mouth opened to speak, but no words left his mouth when he finally caught sight of my mother. His eyes quickly met mine. Sympathy now laced across his features. I looked away. I did not want. No. Did not need his sympathy. He. Of all people. Giving me sympathy? I was the girl he ignored at school. The one he deemed unworthy of his time. And now he wants to deem me worthy when it works for him? No. That is not how I play.

“You left in a hurry. I wanted to make sure you were okay.” He commented back with a swallow.

“That’s it? You just wanted to ‘check on me’?” I bit back and watched with satisfaction as he winced.

“Something like that.” Was all he spoke in response.

I huffed out a sound of frustration. Of course he of all people had come to ‘check on me’. Why am I not surprised about that? Well, probably because he has stabbed me in the back enough times for me to become numb from the pain and sting when he leaves all over agian.

I watch out of the corner of my eye as he pulls a chair close to my, but not too close. Then he hesitantly sits down. Concern laces his face as he glanced between my mother and me.

We sat there for an hour in silence. Though it was not the comfortable kind of silence. No. It was the worst kind of silence. The one that held the tension of unspoken words. A tension between two people that had not spoken a real conversation to the other in over two years.

Then the doctor came in. Saving both Matt and I from an awkward conversation neither of us wanted to start. I huffed out a sigh of relief. Receiving a side-eye from Matt.

“Am I interrupting something?” The doctor questioned.

I cleared my throat a little too quickly after he spoke and stood. “No.”

“Good. I have some more tests to run on your mother. As she won’t be waking up anytime soon, I’d like to ask the two of you to leave. Don’t worry. I’ll let you know if anything happens while you’re away.”

I nodded silently. This was my way to escape Matt and the inevitable conversation that was coming between us.

“Yes, of course.” I grabbed my mother’s hand and squeezed it gently.

“I’ll be back to see you later, mom.” I whispered to her before releasing her hand and walking away.

I did not even look back to see if Matt had followed me or not. I did not care what he did. All I knew was that I had to get out of the hospital that felt like a prison of death.

Word Count: 1055

Chapter 8 - Shopping. Of Course

“Kayla, wait.” A voice called from behind me.

I stopped in my tracks. I did not dare turn around and see who had spoken. I knew that voice. Matt. Of all people. I thought I had gotten rid of him when I stormed out of my mother’s room, but apparently he had followed me. How typical of him.

“What do you want?” I whip around.

It was now Matt’s turn to stop in his tracks. Surprise fleeting across his face, but it was quickly replaced with a smug smirk.

“My mother dropped me off here. Looks like you’re stuck with me. She also sent me in with a list of groceries for dinner, so we need to stop by the store before going home.”

With a huff of frustration I turned around and began walking again. There was no point in arguing or trying to leave him behind. I knew him well enough to know that he was persistent. And I also knew his mother and would not have been surprised if she just dropped him off here. She was probably oblivious to the tension between us. Oblivious to the fact that we were no longer friends.

I felt his presence behind me as we walked out of the hospital and towards my car. I did not care to look back to see if he was getting in the car as I opened the door to the driver’s side. Before I could climb into the driver’s seat, a hand stopped me. My eyes widened in surprise.

“What are you doing?” I questioned Matt once I had regained my composure.

“I’m driving.” He spoke firmly as if the decision was final.

“What? No. I’m completely competent to drive myself.”

“No. You and I both know you aren’t competent enough to drive and I’m shocked you even made it here in one piece. Now. Hand me the keys and get in the passenger’s seat.”

How was he so good at this? How was he so good at seeing past the carefully crafted facade I put in place? I had nothing to say against him though I wanted to fight back. If I was in my right mind, I would have gone through with fighting back, but something inside me had broken the day my mother collapsed. I dropped my car’s keys into his waiting hand and forced myself around him. Our shoulders hit hard as I walked past. That was all I had in me as protest.

The ride to the store was filled with awkward silence. Both of us were too stubborn to break it. It was not until we got to the store that Matt finally broke the silence.

“Here. I’ll put you in charge of the list. You were always better at keeping track of things than I was.” Matt shoved the grocery list into my hands.

I gave him a withering gaze before saying, “Since when do you know me?”

He smirked. “Since always.”

I rolled my eyes. He and I both knew that his statement was far from the truth. A lot of change can happen in the span of two years.

“Yeah. Right.” I nearly laughed before I stopped myself.

How could I be joyful when my mother was fighting for her life in the hospital and my father was dead? Was this all a ploy on Matt’s part? A distraction to make me forget all the horrors happening in my life? Was he being fake? Was his whole show of being a gentleman another ploy to get me to trust him again? A frown crossed across my face. Yes. That must be it. I can not let him push my guard down. I could not repeat the past when I had trusted him and he stabbed me in the back.

I followed Matt into the store silently. I was afraid that if I did try to speak, that I would not be able to control myself or my actions. To cover my frustration towards Matt, I buried my face in the grocery list. Reading it over and over again until I had practically memorized it by the time I walked through the doors of the store.

The list was simple. All that could be found on it was pepperoni, shredded cheddar cheese, salami, pineapple, bacon, and a few other ingredients I guessed were for pizza. On a normal day, my stomach would have growled and my mouth would start to drool at the thought of having pizza for dinner, but now was not the past. I was not even hungry for a piece of toast let alone a piece of hot and fresh pizza.

“Hey. You okay?” Matt finally asked as concern filled his eyes.

“I’m fine. Let’s just get this over with and get out of here.” I mumbled.

He did not look convinced, but at least he stayed silent. Good. Silence was good. It meant the crumbling wall of isolation between us was rebuilding. Not crumbling.

“Alright. Let’s split the list and meet at the front once we’ve both checked out. I’ll get the cold food if you can get the pizza toppings. Here. Take the list. I’ve already memorized it anyway.” I shoved the list into his hands and walked away towards the cold food section before he could say anything. I did not even pause to look back though the satisfaction of stumping Matt himself would have been a nice thing to see.

Getting the groceries on my half of the list was surprisingly simple and quite peaceful without Matt around. Matt always complicated things. He always had even before he broke off our friendship. I dreaded meeting him again after checkout. That meant that the peace I now felt only for a moment would be gone.

Of course no good thing could last forever. I had finally run out of excuses to avoid checking out and meeting Matt again. If it were not for the fact that he had my car keys, I would have deserted him already.

Checkout was simple and speedy leaving me dreading my reunion with Matt. There he was. Standing exactly where I had told him to meet with plastic bags in his hands waiting. A smirk crept across his face when he saw me.

“I thought you’d never come. You ready to go?”

I brushed past him and knocked my own should hard into his own.

“Let’s get out of here.”

Word Count: 1076

Chapter 9 - Finally Home, but For How Long

The ride home was dead silent with only the sound of cars rushing past my own and the sound of tires against pavement to keep us company. The tension between the two of us was tight enough that it could have been easily cut with a knife. My plan of putting distance between us was working. Good. I could not stand another rejection from someone I once called a good friend. That was too much to handle. Especially right now.

I leaned my head against the window and watched the world fly by. With just the bat of an eye something new could be seen through my window. Life passed so quickly. Too quickly. It was as if in just a moment years passed. Life was too short. I saw that clearly now. If someone had told me a week ago that my father would be dead and my mother would by dying in a hospital bed after a heart attack, I would not have believed them. My parents were too young to die. Then again, they were not. Though it seemed as if a person was too young to die, they died anyway. That was the way the world worked.

The ride home felt like an eternity when it was only about fifteen minutes. The second Matt put my car into park, I burst out the door and bolted toward the house. I could not let him or anyone see me and how horribly I felt. I could hear Matt calling my name as I ran, but his words passed over me. I was tired of people. Tired of life. Honestly? Tired of everything.

I ran until I collapsed onto a bed that was not even mine. The soft throw blanket curling around my limp body. I sighed. Tears welling in my eyes. So this was what it felt like to lose everything.

I rolled onto my side and my eyes widened. A family photograph rested upon the wall. It was a photograph of Matt’s family. By the look of him, it was our sophmore year. The year everything changed for the worst between us.

I would never forget that day. It was the first day of school, and I could not wait to go back. Being a sophmore meant I was no longer the baby of the high school. Now I was older. And hopefully wiser. But, the greatest reason as to why I was excited to return to school was to see my best friend. Matt.

Matt and his family had been traveling the entire summer which left us separated for two months. Two months was a long time to be separated from your best friend. I had learned that the hard way.

I had thrown on a simple black sweater and blue jeans with a matching pair of black converse. Simple, yet comfortable for survivng the first day of sophmore year. Then I had brushed my wavy hair and led it cascade down my shoulders and back.

I was not sixteen at the time, so I grabbed a quick piece of toast before hugging both my parents and heading to the bus stop. The schoolbus came every morning at 7:00, so I always had to make sure to be on time. Otherwise I would have to walk the six miles to get to school, and for me? That was worse than two hours of PE class.

I rushed towards the bus that morning and quickly hopped on. The seats were practically empty as I walked down the row towards my usual spot. Typical for the first day. Everyone always rode with their parents. Except me. My parents were too busy to drive me to school. Matt always rode to school with his mother, so he rarely rode the bus. My knee bounced in anticipation as laughter and the normal chatter filled the air.

The ride felt like an eternity when it was only about twenty minutes. Twenty mintues of waiting to meet the one person I had waited two months to see again.

Finally we had arrived. The school’s campus was already filled with students. Some were reuniting with old friends while others scrambled to find their classes for the day. It was all so familiar to me. The regular hustle and bustle of the first day.

I finally left the stuffy bus and walked out into the clear air of the school’s campus. Now that I was finally free, my first order of business was to find Matt. I knew exactly what he looked like and there was no way that two months apart would change that.

Like always, I found him quickly. His messy brown hair and blue eyes shining with laughter as he smiled at whoever was standing with him. I froze. Those people around him. They were seniors. People neither of us had hung around before as the majority of them were stuck up and could care less about us sophmores.

So why was he hanging around them?

He caught my eye at that moment. The look he gave me was one I had never seen forced upon me before. It was a look that said everything. A look that said I was no longer good enough for him or his new friends. That I was no longer worthy to call a friend. He turned away quickly breaking our eye contact the moment one of his new friends whispered something in his ear.

Laughing again, he walked away from me without a second glance.

So this was what rejection from your best friend felt like. Years of being friends all came to this. The moment someone else he deemed cool gave him attention or accepted him into their group, he would burn everything down to follow them.

I decided that day not to care. If Matt wanted to act as if he did not know me anymore, then I would accept that.

Before I could relive the rest of the memory, a shout rang through the house. I jumped up with a start. I must have fallen asleep, but I did not remember falling into sleep. Then the voice called through the house again.

“Kayla! Dinner!”

Well, it looked as if I had to find another excuse not to eat.

Word Count: 1048