The Hogwarts Headliner, Issue #35

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┏ ┗ Meet the Professors (#2): Sereia Clairmont by Alyssea Brown ┓ ┛ You might remember, if you’ve read the Headliner for over a year now, that I tried to get in touch with Professor Winifred Bonnet when she became the new Divination professor at Hogwarts. Unfortunately, I had little success with how hard she is to catch and that she stepped down in late January.	xx	That said, she did leave suddenly, so I hope she’s doing okay wherever she is now. As usual, a new teacher took her place. In this issue, I was able to interview Professor Sereia Clairmont. Professor Clairmont came from New Zealand and is an alumna from Tenūsa, the Isle of Divination. Before coming to Hogwarts, she worked as an oracle aide in New Zealand for two years and then as an early childcare worker in Muggle England until her employment here. While not as exciting of a backstory as a lot of our other staff, the professor did say,
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“I’m still young, so there’s still a lot I can do. I’m just taking life at my own pace.”

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What brought you to England in the first place? My boyfriend, actually, which sounds really cheesy whenever I say it. Like I said earlier, I was my father's aide after I graduated school, plus some smaller gigs on the side, and that was pretty much what I'd be doing for the rest of my life. But my boyfriend did some extra Muggle education to get a diploma and ended up being accepted into Oxford! So, I took the plunge and came all the way here for a fresh start. I think that's cute! How are you liking England? Is it different to New Zealand? It is very different. For one, it's slightly cheaper to own a home here. But the environment is very different. Wellington is right at the bottom of the North Island and there's a lot of water;	xx	the waterfront was my favourite place to walk. I haven't visited in a while so I can't confirm, but Wellington is called ‘Windy Wellington’ for obvious reasons. Oxford has the Thames river and not much else, so you'd have to drive pretty far to get to the ocean which I miss. There's a lot more to see in England, though, but maybe that's because I've lived in New Zealand so long, I basically know every part of the city by heart. But I do like it! It was the change I needed. I'd love to visit New Zealand one day. Anyways, you teach Divination! What do you have to say about the subject?	xx	It’s not as difficult as people make it out to be. Just have an open mind. I had friends that liked divination in theory, but couldn't be bothered to actually exercise the practice. They liked the idea of predicting your future by some supernatural entity speaking through a medium but they didn't want to go through the trouble of searching up symbols or really thinking about the things they were seeing. I do understand that, yes, it can be difficult to interpret certain mediums like crystal balls or tea leaves, but that's what I'm here for! It's an interesting subject – of course, to me – and all it takes is creativity. What tips do you have for any students taking your course, like me? Oh! Good to know you'll be taking it. I’m always excited to see more students take interest.
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Well, I already said to have an open mind. Other than that, don’t be afraid to ask questions and be a critical thinker. When I say ‘critical’, I don't mean disregard a reading if it doesn't ring true to you. What I mean is, look for a second meaning. You’ll get textbook meanings that I can teach, but the rest is up to you and what you make of a reading, so think about both sides of the coin and you'll get a more sophisticated answer. If, even after some critical thinking, the reading doesn’t make sense to you, then that might be the time to disregard it. Thank you very much, Professor! Now, everyone's burning question: are you a Seer? I would actually prefer to not answer. Very sorry! I don't want people to stereotype me based on what I say next, so please, just come meet me and get to know me. My office is always open for questions and help with interpreting signs if you need it.	xx	That wraps up an introduction to the teacher of the school’s most elusive subject. If you're thinking about studying Divination as an extracurricular, or you already take it and need to refresh as the new year starts, take note of Professor Clairmont's advice. Next issue, we'll be reaching out to another new professor. Stay tuned for who it is and their introduction!
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──────────────────────────────── Conspirasoup! Aly Salinger ────────────────────────────────

Chances are that if you went back-to-school shopping in Diagon Alley this past August, you likely stopped in for a lovely, light lunch at the Leaky Cauldron. It’s the quintessential lunching place for new students, returnees, graduates, and parents alike, and why wouldn’t it be? From their flobberworm stew to the house-made Leaky Burger, this longtime favourite pub boasts a menu you won’t be quick to forget.	xx	────────────────────────── This author’s personal favourite is usually the house speciality, steak-and-kidney pie. After all, it’s hard to beat the flaky, buttery crust and a filling full of salt and flavour. However, upon my most recent visit to the beloved wizarding tavern, I strayed from my regular order due to an upset stomach – and found myself leaving with an upset mind!
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You see, dear reader, the Leaky Cauldron also has a Luncheon Menu in addition to its regular bill of fare. The Luncheon Menu has risen to fame especially in the last few decades, to the point where a sign within boasts that “The Leaky Cauldron is noted for its most excellent and delicious luncheon”! What is on this menu, you may ask? A supposedly wide variety of delectable soups, monikered as such:

xx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Leaky House Soup Soup House Leaky House Soup Leaky Leaky Soup House Soup Leaky House xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx	xx	xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx House Leaky Soup Leaky, Leaky Soup House, House Soup Soup, Soup Soup Soup Leaky, Leaky xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xx
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Despite the strong similarities in name, these soups are assumed to be rather different from each other, especially due to the difference in price – for instance, a bowl of the House, House Soup costs five Sickles, whereas a bowl of the Soup House Leaky will only cost you three. It’s not such a stretch, then, to believe that these fare distinctions represent a similar distinction in the soup’s quality, flavour, or ingredients, right?

Wrong.

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Upon ordering a bowl of Soup, Soup Soup – priced at five Sickles, and recommended by a friend of mine as “The best in the luncheon” – from the Luncheon Menu, I noted a nearby witch receiving her own bowl of luncheon soup, which appeared to be something similar to a cream of watercress. As an avid fan of cream of watercress, I began to hope that the Soup, Soup Soup would perhaps be something similar – and my dreams soared into reality as the waitress delivered to my table a steaming green bowl. I am not one to lie, reader, and I must admit it was a delicious dish, a crock of colour and cress that brought water to my mouth simply from the scent… the entire porringer was squeaky clean in a matter of minutes, and I cannot be blamed for my enjoyment. So much was my newly encountered love for the dish that I felt the need to share in this excitement with the other purveyor of fine soups in the area – the other witch who had ordered the watercress. However, to my horror, upon mentioning my order to her, my statement was met with naught but a confused raise of an eyebrow. The witch informedxmexthatxshe had,xinxfact,xorderedxnotxthe	xx	Soup, Soup Soup... but the House Soup Leaky, priced at two Sickles cheaper than my lunch. And yet, we had both received a watercress soup. Readers, you can now understand my frustration. A quick glance around the pub proved that anyone enjoying a bowl of soup was, in fact, consuming cream of watercress, no matter what they had ordered. A cursory ask of the waitress received only gaslighting in reply, as the waitress insisted that we had each received different soups – the other witch the House Soup Leaky, and myself the Soup, Soup Soup, as we had ordered. A lie! This author loves cream of watercress soup as much as the next person, but something must be done about this soup conspiracy! This… conspirasoup! Was it simply a lazy serve by the cooks in the kitchen at the Leaky Cauldron, unwilling to make more than one soup on that specific day? Was it a lack of ingredients, a need for a supply run? Or was it something more malicious, perhaps… a specific, ill-intentioned plot to sell the same soup under different names and varying prices?
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┌✁ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─

Classes To Love

by Simon Kincaid

─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ✁┘

The second week of August is the busiest for many of the shops within Diagon Alley.

Madam Malkin’s Robes For All Occasions sells basic robes for incoming students and robes based on new measurements for returning students already sorted into their houses. Those robes will adorn witches and wizards as they learn new spells and incantations and about magical plants and creatures, and hopefully they won’t spill anything on them when brewing new potions.

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The Magical Menagerie is abuzz with students who want to find their dedicated animal to take to Hogwarts. Here they can find their cat, toad, rat, pygmy puff, lizard, spider, snake, rabbit, ferret, or fish – whatever their little buddy might be to take to classes occasionally and offer companionship always. If one of these isn’t their pet of choice, they can choose an owl that is also a classic messenger. These little furry (or scaled, or feathered) friends can offer a moral boost when life gets a little difficult at school – academically or socially.

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A stop in Flourish and Blotts is a must to set you up for academic success. It is here that students find most of their basic school supplies and the books on their supply list. Finally, most will decompress after a long day of shopping at Florean Fortescue’s Ice Cream Parlour.

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The streets of Diagon Alley will soon rest quietly once September 1st rolls around and students of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry commence for another year of magic and wonder. After months away, I find myself missing all that goes on within the walls of the castle from my friends, to my dormitory, to my professors, to the sports, and to the classes.

I know many of you have missed all this as well, so welcome back, friends! It is time for another year of memories to unfold and learning to achieve! Which classes are you looking forward to? Here’s what some of your classmates had to say!

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Second year Hufflepuff, Emily Shephard, says, “It’s hard to pick one… I’ve been constantly changing my favourite subject since I started Hogwarts last year! I’ve jumped from Astronomy to Potions to Herbology. But right now I’m excited for Charms! With all the wand work I’ve been practising over the summer – with my pencil – I’m eager to jump back in for some new spells and jinxes!”

___

Another student that I caught while shopping, but sadly ran off before I could get their name, said that Care of Magical Creatures was what they were most looking forward to. “You’ll learn about some creatures that are chill and also about some that want to kill you. You’ll want to learn about them all because you never know when one might end up within the corridors or at your next broom racing match.”

___

One Ravenclaw boy, who ran off after his new ferret just as he finished his statement, said “Astronomy! Stars and planets are cool and the class is AT NIGHT!” ___ And a girl sporting a Gryffindor jumper said that she was looking most forward to Muggle Studies, stating that, “It’s the best class to try and break the pureblooded bigots’ world view of non-magical folk.”

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❝ –––––––––– Enjoy seeing how these two components of magic can go hand-in-hand. –––––––––– ❞

When it pertains to classes, I’d have to say I’m most looking forward to Potions and Herbology. I very much enjoy seeing how these two components of magic can go hand-in-hand, especially when it pertains to healing. Ultimately, I’m ready to get back to the social aspect of it all. I miss seeing my friends and getting to spend time with that beautiful girl of mine on a daily basis. So folks, let’s get back to Hogwarts! Back to witches and wizards and magical beasts, to goblins and ghosts and magical feasts. It’s all that we love and it’s all that we need at Hogwarts, Hogwarts.

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Quoted from the parody musical
A Very Potter Musical

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SNAKE OIL | An Affliction of the Slytherin Racing Team by █████████

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Point thirty-nine percent. To those reading this, I beg you not to misunderstand me: it is not thirty-nine percent that I attempt to relay – dramatically perhaps, though well-warranted, in my opinion, for reasons I’ll endeavour to elucidate for you – but rather point thirty-nine percent. This almost inconceivably diminutive quantum is the odds of our Slytherin broom racing team, the Brisk Basilisks, having lost every single match of their eight game career. It is, to put it quite bluntly, a statistical marvel that, whether by hook or by crook, Slytherin have yet to secure themselves even one measly little win.

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❝ ─ ───────────┓ x ─. Slytherin have yet to secure [...] even one measly little win. ── x┗─────────── x❞

Each of our other three racing teams have managed to clear this comically low bar for success and more, so I'd forgive you for assuming that this must be the result of some sort of vice, like laziness or deficient leadership on the part of the Slytherin team, or perhaps some more external factor like cheap brooms or opportunistic sabotage. I myself initially leaned towards the former – is a captain not intrinsically responsible for the success or failure of their team? When a team is fairing so poorly on a scale as grand as this, one must look to the leadership for answers on their inadequacies.

❝ ─ ───────────┓ x ─. Many seem to believe that the Brisk Basilisks are cursed. ── x┗─────────── x❞ . .

─

Since having this brought to my attention, though, I've done a bit of sleuthing. While a loss is a loss at the end of the day, despite the losers' most fervent wishes otherwise, I would be remiss not to call attention to one rather… interesting rumour that’s been floating around. Many seem to believe that the Brisk Basilisks are cursed, though I myself am unaware of any dark magic that specifically causes a team to be almost incandescently terrible at the sport they play. One source, however, who was willing to write to me on the condition of anonymity, asserted: ─ ❝ ─ ──────────────────────────┓ x ─. Oh yeah, they’re for sure cursed. When the change in captaincy happened I figured something would change. It’s like the captain likes seeing her team lose or something, because that team is the ONLY team in the whole school to have never won a game. At first I thought they were just bad, but now they’ve had almost an entire roster change since they were formed and they’re STILL losing. Plus the weird thing that happened at one of their races a couple years back. Cursed, if you ask me. ── x┗────────────────────────── x❞

While I am certainly inclined to agree that their captains must be largely to blame, the idea that one or both of them could have cursed the team on purpose is a rather ghastly one, so fear not – I did some digging to see if the accusation had any merit, and came across a rather interesting race from back in May of 2023. According to witnesses, while Slytherin appeared to be the clear frontrunners of this race, both teams appeared to come under some sort of mass hypnosis, and the race ended with all parties crashing into trees, and not a one managing to cross the finish line. How interesting it is that, when the Brisk Basilisks finally managed to clinch a win, the game was brought to a shocking, brutal conclusion. Proper convenient, that is. x─────────────────x While the curse theory has been surging in popularity, not everyone is so convinced of the captains’ guilt. Another anonymous source had this to say:

xx

─ ❝ ─ ──────────┓ x ─. Personally, I don't think the team is cursed. I mean, we certainly have had a huge run of bad luck, and it is a bit odd we keep losing no matter how hard we try, but – well, maybe we are cursed. It's not someone on the team though, I can tell you that much. Maybe it's someone from Hufflepuff, they're always playing dirty. ── x┗────────── x❞ x─────────────────x While the defence of their captains is admirable, the Spring race was between Slytherin and Gryffindor; what motive could someone in Hufflepuff have possibly had? The simplest answer is usually the correct one, and the culprit of this particular

xx

crime would need to have both means and opportunity. The captain of the Brisk Basilisks, June Selwyn, commented: ─ ❝ ─ ──────────┓ x ─. The idea of a ‘curse’ over the team seems a bit preposterous. Our team works and trains hard, as do the other house teams. We’ve just unfortunately suffered from not having as many experienced racers as the other teams. The attack during the race against Gryffindor is far more concerning in my opinion, and frankly I’m surprised no further investigation has been made, or safety protocols to prevent such incidents from happening again. ── x┗────────── x❞

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I’ll leave it up to my fellow students to decide: is the Brisk Basilisks’ losing streak the result of an incompetent captaincy; vengeful, dark magic at the hands of their captains; or just plain bad luck? Only time will tell.

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Summer Camp Gossip
By Oonagh Brown

Reporting from Summer Camp, not live but as live as can be. All the gossip and drama or flat out scams pulled this year by your fellow students. Well not all of them of course, that would be a headache to keep track of. You might be thinking, scams? But yes, believe it or not, there are some elaborate lies to unveil with this one. I am a new reporter, but I will not back down from making some waves around here, which brings me to the first of our highlighted students…

❝ ─ ───────────┓ x ─. He lacks the most basic intuitive skills a Seer or trick performer ought to possess. ── x┗─────────── x❞

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Tommy Patterson. I haven’t quite figured out what his deal is, but he claims to be a Seer, yet he lacks the most basic intuitive skills a Seer or trick performer ought to possess. Not only that, but he was the one behind that Winter Wonderland theme because he thought it would be ‘cool’. Needless to say, he remains on thin ice even after the summer. So in case you were also expecting summer, sun and good times, you now know who to blame!

Oonagh Brown. That’s right, it’s me. I just found it rude to write an article about the people who made an impact and not include me. Apparently throwing sand instead of water balloons and flipping over sleds in a race deserved me a spot on this list. So beware, those who have crossed my path already, and even more so those who have yet to have the pleasure of meeting me. Needless to say, it was a summer camp with students, so of course there was a lot of kissing and relationship drama. If you wish to read about that kinda stuff, sucks for you but dating is yuck. Who cares about that kind of drama anyway? Now, to actually interesting stuff like the events that happened (apart from things the organizers had thought of for entertainment; which admittedly were quite fun)…

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❝ ─ ───────────┓ x ─. So beware, those who have crossed my path already, and even more so those who have yet to have the pleasure of meeting me. ── x┗─────────── x❞

❝ ─ ───────────┓ x ─. A reward for the winner of the challenges. ── x┗─────────── x❞

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Skylar Tent. Not a person, not a scam, but definitely a thing people would like to whisper about. A competition was held within this tent, unbeknownst even to the camp itinerary. Apparently they were giving out crups, which are practically just dogs for the unknowing amongst you. A reward for the winner of the challenges.

International Rubber Ducky Day. This was not really a thing until this year. On July 18th, students from all over the world gathered to share their love for the rubber ducky. Rubber ducks were handed out to anyone willing to take any, and this event was all orchestrated by a foreign student by the name of Cyrus Darsel. Perhaps this will mark the first of many International Rubber Ducky Days to come.

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❝ ─ ───────────┓ x ─. Perhaps this will mark the first of many International Rubber Ducky Days to come. ── x┗─────────── x❞

Unofficial Sports. It is to no one’s surprise that the sports in official capacity are not for everyone, or just have too few spaces to satisfy everyone. So students have run some unofficial sports. A broom race took place between mixed school teams. Right away, it looked pretty rough for the second team led by Cyrus Darsel and Miharu Goto. Tug of War. Overviewed by none other than me, nothing special and pretty self explanatory. Whoever said kicking sand at people was against the rules?

xxxxx

I am sure there were a lot of other small games or crafting activities as is the standard for things such as summer camps. However, I am just one person, and that is all I had the pleasure to discover.

Aside from the events and the people who have been running around spreading lies, there have also been some rumors that I am happy to spread the news of. Apparently the camp has been plagued by a Broom Thief. Multiple students have reported missing brooms. Most of them have turned up again, but usually at places the owner swore they had not been to throughout the entire camp. A few, however, may still be looking for their brooms. If anyone knows something or has fallen victim to said thief, they are welcome to report their findings to me. For now, be careful with your belongings in case the thief was a Hogwarts student and is still amongst us.

A secret hang out spot was a Frozen Pond near the tent area that allowed for cozy hang outs and the use of ice skates as the ice was thick enough to carry a few students at a time. Especially in the evening hours as it was illuminated by the light of the full moon. Did the camp feel more empty on that night for you too?

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Justice is a most peculiar breed of beast; it camouflages itself so deviously and thoroughly that one might find that even their closest friends, whose hearts and minds are otherwise bare to them, have a completely different understanding of what exactly satisfying justice might look like. Is justice the restitution of past wrongs? Is it restoring order and stability where their load-bearing pillars have crumbled? Or is it something far more sanguineous, x──────────────────────────x

xx

┏ ──────────────────────── ┓ A Requiem of Antlers and Manacles by ▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇ ┗ ──────────────────────── ┛ the ancient adage of an eye for an eye? Can there be justice without closure, when a debt in blood has been left profoundly unpaid? In our last issue, I took you on a charming little jaunt around the gardens, by which I mean walked you through the horrors of our xx most recent Spring Ball and the crimes that Jack Warren committed within it. I shan’t bore you with the specifics again; rather, I’m here to close this door as best as one can when the hinges have all been pried off and misappropriated. x────────────x xx x────────────x

In case you’ve been too busy with your nose in a book or your tongue in someone else’s mouth, I’ll expound on what you may have missed. After performing his impromptu ocular operation, Jack Warren was checked into psychiatric care. Rumours abounded around the will-they-won’t-they conundrum of whether or not our most wise and esteemed administration would allow the aforementioned young man to return to school, but it seems that such a decision is no longer necessary. xx Mr Warren was moved into long-term care and won’t be returning to darken our doorsteps anytime soon. W A R R E N ── xx ── One may find themselves feeling some measure of sorrow on his behalf, as there’ve been fervent whispers insisting that Mr Warren was not to blame. x─────────────x xx x────────────x

xx

❝ ─ ──────────────────┓ x ─. Mr Warren was moved into long-term care and won’t be returning to darken our doorsteps anytime soon. ── x┗────────────────── x❞ Many of our peers are adamant that he did not possess control of his own will and faculties and was as much a victim as the young man he ordained to a life of singularity. As such, my fellow students, __ I strive to set the record straight: Jack Warren does not deserve even the lowliest crumb of your magnanimity. His cruelty began long before the Spring Ball, and he has no one to blame but himself. x──────────x xx x──────────x

❝ ─ ───────────────────┓ x ─. Jack Warren does not deserve even the lowliest crumb of your magnanimity. ── x┗─────────────────── x❞ Those closest to him will tell you that his greatest vices were possessiveness and jealousy, and he had a notable disregard for the privacy and autonomy of others that often culminated in bouts of rage. One might remember an old piece of gossip from last year, in which Mr Warren very loudly and publicly ended things with his then-girlfriend in the courtyard. To say they broke up might be too kind of a description, however, as “stomped on the girl’s heart and publicly questioned her virtue” would likely be more accurate. From what I’ve managed to dig up, he stole and destroyed the girl’s private property before yelling insults at her, until she had the good sense to finally leave. x───────────────────────────x

xx

He also notably beat a boy unconscious over a different girl’s honour during his third year, injuring the boy so badly that he was hospitalised for over two weeks. Regardless of any external forces that may or may not have afflicted Jack Warren, his penchant for violence started early. He was more than a potential danger to the students here: he was a realised one. I truly hope that, whatever help Jack Warren may need, he will be able to receive it. I think I speak for almost all of us, however, when I say that I am equally hopeful that the aforementioned recovery takes place as far away from Hogwarts as possible. x──────────────────────────x Godspeed, Jack Warren. x──────────────────────────x

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ARCANE ARTEFACTS: School Supplies (?)
by Pericles Dralt
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With summer behind and September ahead, the most practical artefacts one could consider are school supplies. The shops of Diagon Alley never disappoint on this front. Quality Quidditch Supplies lives up to its name, not only to the benefit of team players, but anyone invested in easy, up-to-date broom care. Madam Malkin's is the ideal spot for preparing your school-year wardrobe. Their inventory boasts enchanted items that simplify any cosmetically-inclined wix's morning routine, from Combs of Vanity that instantly style one's hair, to Beautifying Robes which automatically apply a full face of makeup. ────────────────────────────

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⌜ ⌞ 3s 10k ⌝ ⌟ x ⌜ ⌞ 5g 10s ⌝ ⌟ Dogweed & Deathcap has tools for any aspiring herbologist, while Flourish & Blotts offers a timeless array of study material. ────────────────────────────

Yet there is one shop which this responsible upperclassman
would not recommend for school supplies: Weasley's Wizard Wheezes.
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Unless you're looking to buy Gobstones and a set of ⌜ ⌞ 13s ⌝ ⌟ Wizard's Chess for clean fun with friends, there is absolutely nothing here one ⌜ ⌞ only 1 gold! ⌝ ⌟ should consider taking to Hogwarts. Possession of any of them, in fact, could be considered a violation of school rules (if caught), so reader beware! ⌜ ⌞ 1g 15s 9k ⌝ ⌟ Most commonly utilised for skipping class, Skiving Snackboxes are sweets which cause the consumer to appear ill. For under two Galleons, a student could evade a dry lecture on History, or even extend the due date of a timed assignment. These come ──────────────

x

with a second snack that cures all related symptoms. A desperatex(albeitxmore risky) tool for shirking responsibility would be the classic dung-bomb. x Priced ⌜ ⌞ 3s 2k ⌝ ⌟ rather invitingly at just over three Sickles, these horribly x Fake Permission Slips are sold for a measly six Galleons. These startlingly astonishing enchantments imitate not only the school's official form, but can copy a parent's signature, too, enabling underage students to sneak off to Hogsmeade. On the matter of sneaking, for fifteen Galleons and some pocket change, anyone can obtain a pair of Extendable Ears. These hearing devices can be attached to one's ear ❝ ───── ───────────────┓ x ─. It is this writer's hope that you draw inspiration from this article – to stay safe from such nefarious products, that is. ── x┗─────────────── x❞ putrid pellets can shut down an entire classroom for hours, while inhaling the more potent ones would be an ideal excuse for a stay in the Hospital Wing. Weasley's goes so far as to brazenly arm juveniles with tools for duping professors and prefects. On the cheaper side of this arsenal, ⌜ ⌞ 6g ⌝ ⌟ ────────────── x ⌜ ⌞ 15g 5s 3k ⌝ ⌟ and extended down stairways or against barriers to listen for patrollers. I even purchased a pair to test them myself, for research purposes, and found them capable of eavesdropping through doors or walls. Most infamous, and impressive, is perhaps Weasley's very ──────────────

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⌜ ⌞ 75g ⌝ ⌟ own iteration of the Invisibility Cloak. Although listed at a whopping seventy-five Galleons, this item endows the wearer with temporary translucency. The invisibility induced is not flawless, but could be effective when moving through darker hours, such as after curfew. It could also last just long enough to slip past staff. A number of ⌜ ⌞ 10s ⌝ ⌟ WWW's inventory is forbidden from Hogwarts, including Fanged Frisbees and Ever-Bashing Boomerangs, which would make for dangerous but efficient distractions. ⌜ ⌞ 8s 2k ⌝ ⌟ ──────────────

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Muggle Item of the Month: Microwaves by Dorion Anderson ──────────────────────────────── There are many Muggle inventions that I miss when I’m here at Hogwarts. Whenever I think about these, I try to think about things that we might not necessarily have spells for. Sometimes, I try to build on previous Muggle Items of the Month. This one teaches more about Muggles powering things with electricity because you need electricity to run this object. The object in question? A microwave.

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A MICROWAVE. ──────────────────────

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This is what Muggles would call a small appliance. Appliances include things like ovens, refrigerators, dishwashers, all things that I might write an article on someday. Microwaves are smaller rectangular objects that usually sit on the counter in the kitchen. Depending on how fancy your house is, you might have a sort-of nook for it under a cabinet that it sits in to keep it off of the counter. It has a door on the front and buttons to the right of the door to dictate the type of cooking you’d like it to do. The main part of the buttons are a set of numbers 0-9 to determine how long you’d like to cook something. Generally the first 6 numbers can be pressed to choose 1 minute to 6 minutes without having to type in the full 5:00, quick and easy!	xx	You can cook for longer or for middle times such as 2 minutes 30 seconds by pressing cook time first then the numbers you need. There’s also a popcorn button to microwave bagged popcorn, another brilliant Muggle invention. There’s also a defrost button, so if your mum asked you to put out frozen meat for dinner and you forgot, you can use that to quickly defrost it.
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I’ve used the word cook a lot, but that’s not necessarily what it's for. A lot of time I use it to reheat leftovers for lunch or dinner. I open the door, put the food in on a microwave safe tray (it is usually labelled), close the door, and select the amount of time. You might want to stir or mix xx the food about halfway through because the microwave is not a reliable cooking method and will usually leave the middle cold. Then, you take it out, let it cool down for a minute because I usually make it too hot, then voila! You have warm leftovers! x─────────────────x xx x─────────────────x QUICK & EASY! ════════════════════ There are also things like microwave meals sold at stores, frozen options for breakfast, lunch, and dinner that are quick and easy! xx ❝ ─ ─────────┓ x ─. All I know is that everything will explode if you put metal in it, which is terrifying. ── x┗───────── x❞

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These are almost always frozen so that they can be stored for a long time for whenever you need them. These can take longer, upwards of 6 minutes depending on what you have. There are also little cups of powdered cake mix that you can add a little water to and microwave for a couple minutes, and you have a warm cake! I’m going to be honest, I did look up how microwaves work, and I don’t understand it. There’s a certain level of science I can’t get behind with these machines. All I know is that everything will explode if you put metal in it, which is terrifying. There are some that are fancier and have more functions than what I’ve listed, but a basic microwave is all I need. ──────────────────

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What is the definition of the word procrastination? Procrastinating is to ‘delay or postpone action; put off doing something’. When you procrastinate, you avoid doing something until the very last minute and deadline. You’re delaying a task. Before knowing how to deal with procrastination, you have to understand what procrastinating is. You must know why it happens, what causes it, and that it’s more common than you’d think.	xx	───────────── How to Deal with Procrastination Violeta Roux ───────────── What causes procrastination? Well, remember when you had a project due in three weeks, and suddenly you only had a week left? So you just decided to wait, and suddenly it was the night before and you were doing the project in a rush? We usually assume that things won’t take as	xx	long to finish, which often isn’t true, and it leads us to a false sense of security. Now that you know the causes of procrastination and what it is, the real question is: why do we procrastinate? Sometimes people procrastinate without even knowing why. That’s why there’s a list of different types of procrastinations, according to Obehi Alofoje, M.S., psychologist, and workplace productivity expert, pasted below:
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	xx	Thrill-seeking. “Some people procrastinate because they like the adrenaline that waiting until the last minute brings,” says Alofeje. Perfectionism. “Someone may put off sending an important email because they want to read it over repeatedly,” she says. Avoiding. “This type of procrastination is the idea of believing you aren’t good at something, so you’re just going to put it off,” says Alofoje.	xx	Head-in-the-sand. “It’s called ‘head-in-the-sand procrastination’ because it’s like someone is burying their head in the sand pretending like the task doesn’t exist,” explains Alofoje. ═════════════════ Distraction. “I call this type of procrastination ‘shiny object syndrome’ because it involves being distracted by something, which draws attention away from the task that needs to be done,” notes Alofoje.
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Depending on your type of procrastination, the cause will be different.

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There are many ways to deal with procrastination. I’ve created a list of things that might help you: Figure out your type of procrastination, and research a bit further; Create a list of tasks and order them in a way that keeps you entertained so you don’t lose interest; Get rid of any distractions. Put your books, broom, games and wand away, and try not to talk to anyone (because they will distract you!), unless you're doing something which requires other people; Plan something fun to do after you finish your tasks, and only do it once you finish (because I know you will!); Listen to some music while you finish your tasks. This might not help some people, and instead distract them, but it does help me! I would recommend testing this with a simple task and seeing if you get distracted; Break large tasks (such as studying for a few hours, working on a school project, and deep cleaning your house) into smaller tasks. For example, say, you're going to study for two hours. Try breaking those two hours into thirty-minute sessions over a few days; Take short breaks between your tasks. Sit down and listen to a song, or even stretch, just don't pick up any distractions; Talk to someone! Tell them why you think you're procrastinating, just rant! This could be anyone, just talk to someone who will listen and that you're comfortable with.	xx	Procrastination isn't easy to deal with, but if you know how to deal with it, and if you master how to deal with it, surely you can do it! I hope you've enjoyed this article.
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