Just Wanted to Say Hi or Whatever pv Alec Mason fin

Description: Alec is wearing his school uniform, his nails are painted white, and he's carrying a book with him.

Whenever Alec was walking through the corridors he liked to imagine what had happened before he'd been the one walking through. Of course as he played out the scenarios in his head they began to feel overused. They were tropes brought down to their simplest form. He'd been thinking, maybe if he wanted to make them interesting again, he'd have to pull from his experience.

That was until he remembered what his experiences were. As much as Alec liked to fantasize he realized he didn't have any particularly positive memories attached to any of the corridors. A realization he'd made as his last class of the day ended.

Alec's solution was simple, people-watching. He'd try to slip some in on his way back to the Gryffindor commons.
---
Alec was feeling okay today. There was a grand amount of relief attached to words like those. He'd been such a mess the day of the broom races(Watching Wyatt do his thing did make it a bit better). Yesterday he'd spent the afternoon with Rose, after rigorous duelling practice they went out for butterbeer. Conversations like the ones he'd had with her hadn't happened for a while. It made him feel normal, and he relished the feeling. For once Alec could almost believe that the greatest problem he had in the world was unfinished homework. Any distraction was well appreciated, but especially one where he could be around someone else. It was bad to let himself be in his head as much as he had been recently.

Alec glanced down at the book in his arms. Perhaps today was not going to be the sort of day where he involved himself with more people then he had too for anything other than the people-watching. It was the first time in weeks that he planned to sit and read. He was doing better which meant he could read and enjoy it. His mind wouldn't wander off to think of the things he'd been avoiding. Besides, the studying with constant note-taking was making Alec start to dread books. It would be nice to read a book because he wanted to do it, and not because he had too.

While walking back, Alec was starting to get concerned. His people-watching plan was failing miserably. Every corridor he walked through lacked corridor people who stayed long enough for Alec to get some ideas.

Rounding a corner Alec decided he didn't have extra time to waste like this. He was itching to read and if he got to his dorm any later he was worried his dormmates would be there. He'd have to look for corridor people tomorrow. Alec hugged the book he was carrying to his chest as he hurried his pace, right on track until he saw something that made him pause. Someone off in the distance.

A corridor person! Perfect.

Alec stopped to watch the corridor person from a distance. Tall, hair that look like Wyatt's, still in their school clothes, just sitting, being boring. So... did this corridor person sit there as a hobby? Were they waiting for someone? Trying to look for corridor people as well? Really, it was strange how empty the corridors were today. Where had everybody gone?

Wait... Hair that looks like Wyatt's? Why was Alec thinking about Wyatt's hair at a time like this?! Important corridor business happening that is not supposed to be thinking about Wyatt's hair. Don't get distracted! Then again, his hair did look pretty cool when he was on his broom and- Alec stop it! Focus.

Alec peered at corridor person again. He needed answers. Why sitting as a hobby? What is your hair actually like because apparently the immediate thought it generates is Wyatt? Also repeating, the sitting hobby, it's weird, please pick a new hobby.

As Alec saw the corridor person for the second time he realized something. Their hair didn't look like Wyatt's. It was Wyatt's. . . Ohhh! That makes a lot more sense, it makes the hair thing seem a lot less weird! Wyatt is a corridor person. Hm. The more important thing, why does he think sitting is a good hobby?

Unless he wasn't doing it as a hobby. Was he waiting for someone? Who would wait that long? Wyatt apparently... Alec needed to get a better look, maybe he could walk closer without being spotted? Trying to play it off and walk normally like he wasn't trying to spy on Wyatt being a corridor person, Alec walked closer to get a better look. He had to figure out what was going on.
---
The corridor person saw him.

Mission failed. All that hard work of trying to walk inconspicuously for nothing.

The corridor person was standing up.

What does that mean? Wasn't your weird new hobby sitting?! Don't come over here, go do your weird hobby!

The corridor person was walking Alec's direction.

Alec glanced backwards checking if there was anybody behind him. No, only him and the corridor person.
---
Had Wyatt been waiting for him?

Why?

Oh no.

Alec was a corridor person.
---
Slowly Alec's mind shifted from watching and looking in on the situation to being in the moment. There was just one problem Alec didn't want to be 'in the moment'. Alec didn't like it. That was too raw and too real for Alec. He didn't want to think why Wyatt had been waiting for him. There were so many possibilities and a majority of them didn't end well.

Alec knew he had a lot he wanted to say. There was much Alec had thought about saying. Now that he was here with Wyatt face-to-face Alec had nothing. No words, no-

“Erm, hi,”

Alec's expression softened, his uptight posture relaxed, and his arms fell to his sides. The Gryffindor had had to look up to meet Wyatt's eyes. Alec looked reasonably confused, his eyebrows furrowed. Alec didn't know what to make of this. Just that it wasn't what he'd been expecting. Don't bad things start with 'we need to talk'? Alec let out a relieved half-laugh. All the buildup, and for what? A hello? Alec was just overthinking like he always did. His lips split into a smile. “Hey,”

Was there no concrete reason for this? Usually Alec expected a person to say more. Should Alec say something? Was he allowed too?

“I think I missed the memo. . . Were you waiting for me?” Alec was confused, but it sounded better then asking why he'd been waiting for Alec.

The book was going to have to wait just a little bit.

@Wyatt Starkey

[font=times new roman]wearing: slytherin uniform

[font=times new roman]hex: #3a5948

[font=times new roman]“Hey.”

Wyatt scanned Alec’s face with an expression that was unreadable. Unreadable usually accompanied the word vacant in descriptions of Wyatt’s expression, yet in his eyes, now, one could see he was very, very present—painfully so. He could feel his feet in his socks in his shoes sinking into the stone floor and he could feel the entire weight of his body pushing him down and he could feel how his clothes added to the weight. He could feel the bruises on his arms and legs from his fall during the race. Why had they suddenly become so painful?

Alec smiled. It didn’t help. Wyatt noticed how little it helped. He remembered it being the cure to his nerves. He remembered how his anxiety would be through the roof and with a smile from his friend they’d be okay—he’d be okay. Maybe that’s what he was looking for in seeking Alec out, but when it didn’t help, he had more questions and no one left to turn to. Wyatt’s stomach churned. Everything about this was horrifying.

“I think I missed the memo. . . Were you waiting for me?”

“Yes. Sorry, that sounds really creepy. But I probably did look creepy. I hope you weren’t worried or something. I’m sorry. I’m okay. I think you’re okay, too, right? And yes, about the waiting, not the memo, I don’t think there are wizard memos. They’d probably just send owls—we, I mean—” Wyatt cut himself off. Merlin, you sound insane. His words began slow and careful but eventually he was talking like he was running out of time. The Slytherin swallowed silently, pushing down his anxiety and the urge to go on another tangent.

“Sorry,” Wyatt offered. He didn’t know what he was apologizing for. Maybe he was apologizing because he couldn’t stop looking at the floor or because he was waiting for Alec outside his common room like a creep or because he hadn’t made any effort to talk to him since, like, December or because he should’ve put on his glasses or something because he doesn’t want to make Alec worried about the defined bags under his eyes.

Alec was a lot like Henry. They dueled. They were kind of awkward but still liked by most people they met. They were both artsy in their own ways. Maybe Alec was a little less well off in school, but he wasn’t an academic mess. They were kind. Alec wouldn’t cast bombarda with his wand to his neck though. Neither would Henry, apparently, since he didn’t go through with the spell. Also because he wouldn’t have said anything at all if Wyatt hadn’t provoked him.

Alec would. Because Wyatt could. If Wyatt treated Alec the way that he did Henry, he’d hate him too. He doesn’t have a reason for treating Henry that way either, it’s him who’s in the wrong. It’s him who is wrong. Since he was able to recognize the feeling as joy he hated the joy it brought him to get Henry to that point—the point where he almost killed Wyatt. The control Wyatt had of Henry then, the way his words changed him was extraordinary but it was too familiar. Wyatt was mean to push away to not endure those people and somewhere along the way he became “those people.”

Wyatt thought of Henry often these days. Not that his mental health was fantastic before the altercation but to say the fight didn’t help would be the understatement of a lifetime. What a nightmare. But Alec wasn’t a nightmare. He was a sign that Wyatt didn’t have to be. He was a friend. Most of all, he was there. In fact, he was right there, and Wyatt was supposed to be saying something. He looked up again, meeting Alec’s eyes. He just wanted to leave, but he felt he needed to do something else first.

“Can I hug you?” He asked. The timid volume at which he said those four words was barely louder than the wind whistling through the slightly-open window behind them.

[font=times new roman]Interacting: @Alec Mason
Mentioning: N/A

Description: Alec is wearing his school uniform, his nails are painted white, and he's carrying a book with him.

Alec laughed lightly. “I mean, uh-” Another laugh followed. “A memo is a memo... I doubt an owl would be used if to send a message to someone else here-” Alec paused. “Actually, maybe. Like an emergency owl? Is that a thing? That has to be a thing.” It's now a thing, at least it will be in Alec's head. An emergency owl, his name is Niff, he's a snowy white owl with big eyes. He's also not the best emergency owl because despite his big eyes, he's not the best at flying, or having any sense whatsoever of direction. It usually take weeks before the owl is received by the person on the other end. They don't fire him because he would give them sad eyes if he wasn't able to do his job. The work around is giving the notes in person, leaving them where the other would be likely to find it. The way it was supposed to be. The way Wyatt should have done it.

He needed to focus, be less scatter-brained, please and thank you. Niff was probably a cute owl, sadly, now was not the time to focus on cute owls. Wyatt wouldn't look at him. Alec pursed his lips in order to keep himself from letting his tongue slip. Why was he the one looking away? Alec should have been the one doing that. Not realizing your friend has joined the Slytherin broom racing team is a big thing. Alec tilted his head to the side, trying to better meet Wyatt's eyes. “You could have left a note for me. You know all my classes.” Alec's voice came out softer, calmer than he had expected. It an effort made to slow Wyatt down. Alec wasn't the only scatter-brained person, Wyatt seemed to be a little all over the place. Alec was focused on Wyatt now, but his head was trying to sidetrack him. If Alec hadn't chosen to read he wouldn't have come back to the common room. What if Wyatt had only planned to stay five more minutes and leave? Would he have tried it again tomorrow? See, the exact reason a notice would have been helpful. Wyatt would have to waste less time. Just how long had he been here anyway?

Wyatt didn't look as if he was getting any calmer, and Alec was having trouble catching every word as he replayed the rushed words of Wyatt in his head. Aiding in making Alec stressed all over again for the second time with about five minutes. Alec's arms fell behind his back, where his hands fidgeted with the book he was holding. Alec nodded to fill the silence, while he picked out words. Say something. “I'm okay.” Alec reassured. Wyatt had said he was okay. It was surprising how little effect those words had on Alec. Words meant nothing if anyone could claim anything. The way he was acting now did not indicate he was okay. Wyatt looked more tired then his usual tired, and Alec wanted to tell him he needed to take a few minutes to breathe.

Was that everything? No... He said sorry. It was once. Now it was twice. “You don't need to apologize, I'm not upset with you.” Alec could play dumb. He almost wanted to convince himself he didn't know what Wyatt was saying sorry about. People apologize for silly things all the time. The absence of Wyatt was hard to ignore. When Alec noticed, he'd never let himself dwell on it. Like all of his problems, he searched for distractions. If he ignored his problems, maybe they'd disappear. Alec had spent so much time trying to ignore it he would absently dwell on it in a way that made him feel numb. He thought maybe Wyatt had heard about everything... Alec was the same as all of them. Alec had reasoned Wyatt would come to him eventually about it and ask. People say things. But Alec had also reasoned that he didn't deserve that. He would have wanted Wyatt to stop talking to him, what was he supposed to say if confronted? That was exactly why Alec ignored it.

When Alec thought about it, he tried to switch the narrative. Life was going to get busy. There were periods where they weren't going to see each other for a while. They had more to do then they did last year. Knowing Wyatt was apart of broom racing made Alec feel better about it all. Wyatt had different responsibilities and those were going to take up his time. Alec needed to not be clingy or get in the way. Him and Wyatt were friends. There was a line, and Alec knew where it should have been drawn.

Standing here, suddenly none of that made sense. Alec should never have been calling them friends. They weren't friends, it was so much more different and complicated then that. Wyatt was different, and not talking to him had really messed with Alec's head. It was okay for Alec to feel confused, and hurt. Wyatt still cared about Alec. If he didn't he wouldn't be here. He was going to keep caring about Alec. It felt as if there was very little that could change that.

It did help Alec feel better, less numb, he didn't have to ignore it. But if that was the case, there was a bigger problem. Out of all the reasons there was one Alec chose to set aside the most. He chose the ignore the possibility. Alec didn't know he'd know how to handle it. Just busy was never good enough. It had to be something to do with Alec or-

Alec wouldn't be given anymore time to think it through. Finally Wyatt looked back up. He spoke, his words, and Alec's initial reaction to them were a thing that couldn't have been predicted.

Wyatt asked if he could hug Alec. Alec stepped back, and he physically tensed. The reaction was involuntary. He'd done it without thinking. People kept trying to hug Alec and he didn't understand it. He didn't know them well enough to feel comfortable, and they didn't ever make a habit of asking. It had begun to make Alec stressed. He wasn't very good at dodging hug attacks because people usually surprised him enough by the fact that they were choosing to do it, and he didn't dodge. This would have been a nifty skill if people actually asked, that way he could step back instead of dodging. By the time Alec could comprehend what Wyatt had said, and his own reaction, he took a step forward.

Alec stared. Unsure how to react. He didn't look as if he believed Wyatt. Once he did start to take Wyatt seriously, concern began rushing him after the shock wore off. Alec could feel his heart racing in his chest. “Wyatt, are you absolutely sure you're okay?” Alec's voice had gotten quiet, he seemed to suddenly remember what an open space they were in despite the lack of people. Alec had gone from 0 to 100 quickly. “It's okay to not be okay.” He was worried. Alec had been worried when he realized Wyatt going no contact wasn't because of anything Alec could have done. Alec didn't know how to use busy now and explain all of it away. A part of him felt like he was overreacting the other part-

“You worry me a lot...” His voice matched the same volume Wyatt had used when asking about a hug. A small frown met the corners of Alec's mouth. His eyes were steadily on Wyatt. Alec did worry about Wyatt a lot, it was normal since Alec cared. However Wyatt making him worry was different. There were just little things Wyatt did or sometimes even said. Or the way he looked, like with how tired he seemed. Not talking to Alec for a while was going to be one of them . Alec would always remember the way Wyatt had been during the summer he stayed with Alec's family. The way Wyatt had been... He seemed to be doing better when they got back to school second year but maybe that had been because they both had classes.

Alec did not want to even think about this year- what a mess. So much could have gone under Alec's radar. Was he having more trouble sleeping before he went no contact? Alec couldn't remember. Alec ran a hand through his hair. “Alright, yeah um, you can hug me”

@Wyatt Starkey

[font=times new roman]wearing: slytherin uniform

[font=times new roman]hex: #3a5948

[font=times new roman]Wyatt didn’t know what was happening to him lately. He had been so proud of himself with how normally his last year had gone despite… whatever. How it seemed that he came back and everything was normal and he was mean and he and Hanako would bicker and fight as per usual.

Nothing catastrophic happened over this past summer either, but maybe that was part of the problem. He’d been so alone over the summer, having to go back. While camp at Hogwarts seemed like an option at first, Wyatt didn’t think anyone would want to room with him and so he went back to Cokeworth. He didn’t even talk to anyone on the train ride to Hogwarts, finding his own compartment in the back of the train, hiding out.

It was only when he reached the thestral-pulled carriages that he had realized that there was a possibility he’d only spoken five words over the break. Maybe none at all.

Not exactly one to enjoy self-reflection and the painful memories it rose, Wyatt tried to focus on Alec best he could. Unfortunately, his focus began in time to see Alec tense at Wyatt’s question. He stepped back. Wyatt’s breath caught in his neck, his throat constricting without an audible tell. The only thing louder than the silence would have been Wyatt’s heart, pounding in his head like an obnoxious drummer.

Alec looked at him like he was a caged animal, feral… and confusing. His expression betrayed a desire to dissect Wyatt’s mind, to find out what was wrong with him. He would not find anything. Wyatt did not know. Alec seemed to want answers, but Wyatt didn’t want to explain himself. Did he really have to not believe him? And what did he not believe? That Wyatt would ask for a hug? Wyatt hoped he wouldn’t have to elaborate. What would he say? I saw you with my dormmate and it made me jealous?

What was his right to dictate who Alec could or could not be friends with? But Hanako knew they were friends, even thought something more was going on between them. Why else would he be with Alec if not to mess with Wyatt’s head? A memory stirred within Wyatt, himself saying to Hanako that he wasn’t friends with Alec, only keeping him close to keep tabs on him. What if he’d told Alec? What if he believed him?

“Wyatt, are you absolutely sure you're okay?” Alec spoke with a hushed tone, “It's okay to not be okay.”

“Alec, you sound like a cat poster,” Wyatt replied then. Tone genuinely casual and shockingly relaxed and normal for what he’d just asked. Now it seemed Alec was worried, and after he remembered how public of a place they were in, Wyatt knew he had to fix himself. Maybe he could get comfort, or maybe he could find comfort in showing Alec he was fine. He was just joking, anyway, right?

“You worry me a lot...”

“Okay,” the word sounded dumb in his mouth. It wasn't sarcastic or mocking, just tired, maybe. It sounded as though he didn’t hear what Alec had said with such an irrelevant answer, but in truth, he just didn’t know how to respond to such a blatant question of his state. His eyes were trained on Alec’s, searching for a reason not to run away since Alec had flinched and stepped back. Wyatt had known since long before the Gryffindor’s confession that he worried him, and he felt an immeasurable amount of guilt due to that.

“Alright, yeah um, you can hug me.”

Yes, right. That’s what he had asked with a straight face. He now hoped Alec thought he was joking. Right now, it was taking all of Wyatt’s will to keep from the urge to run away as fast as his legs would allow.

“Oh, no, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything, you obviously…” Wyatt trailed off. Nothing was obvious. He looked at Alec and could deduce nothing from his expression. He could barely even see the boy, spots of black obstructing his vision and the familiar pressure of a headache keeping light from reaching his brain. “I shouldn’t have come. You probably have lots of work to do, the professors aren’t holding back on homework this week.” Wyatt had actually been having a relatively homework-free week.

“I’ll leave you to… yes,” he said, and began to make his way past Alec and as far from here as possible.

[font=times new roman]Leaving the thread, unless prevented.

[font=times new roman]Interacting: @Alec Mason
Mentioning: N/A

Description: Alec is wearing his school uniform, his nails are painted white, and he's carrying a book with him.

The silence was sickening. Even when speaking asking Wyatt if he was okay and so on Alec was unable to break it. Everything seemed to be falling further and further into a downward spiral. Alec's own mind had gone down the spiral. He started off feeling awkward, and coming up with crazy things, yet he'd smiled, he was better off there than he was here. In a state that was edging at his being. The air felt thick, and as fog clouded in nobody could see the shadow of the Erumpent in the room.

There was much that had gone unsaid, none of it ticked the right boxes. Alec tried to replay ever statement Wyatt had made since they first walked up to each other, no clues whatsoever, just sorry and a lot of rambling at the beginning.

cat poster. Duh, as if Alec didn't know he sounded cheesy. He always sounded like words written on some motivational poster. He was like the more peaceful version of a howler. A speaking motivational poster, living and breathing, with the experiences that all thirteen years of life have provided him thus far. He was much more creative than a cat poster. More than one unchangeable line of text.

Words like those were so authentically Wyatt. Alec was fighting with letting this uplift his mood, or taking it for what it likely was, other than another of Wyatt's witty remarks. Wyatt hadn't even answered the question. It still applied even with Alec making assumptions. Alec drifted down this pattern of thought, landing on another thing. When Alec spent too much time thinking about things they began to get worse, negative. The cat poster comment. Did he think Alec sounded fake or insincere? Did he think that Alec wouldn't be able to understand? cat posters were... one-sided at best. Annoying words of positivity shoved down your throat.

Alec didn't know what it was meant to be, and it was even harder considering he felt there wasn't a solid answer on where the two stood. Wyatt cared about Alec, he cared about being friends with Alec, but why was it this then, why couldn't Wyatt answer a simple question? He didn't have to be in a bad place to answer it, it took only a little of effort, it would have eased Alec's nerves.

It was surprising Alec had managed to find any space in which he was comfortable within the time-frame of Wyatt being gone. Alec had struggled with Wyatt not there, and he'd struggled just as much as Wyatt, as embarrassing as it was, Alec felt as if he'd struggled more. Alec hadn't gotten as chocked up as Wyatt had, but who was Alec to be allowed to get upset over it... Alec had done the same thing, he didn't have the right to react in the same way.

“Okay,”
...
Okay.

Alec did not mean for his words to have come out like they did. What else was he supposed to say? No answer to his question, and something was still so off about all of this. Alec had finally been able to brush the worries from his mind and offer up the hug Wyatt had asked for.

“Oh, no, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything, you obviously…”

What..?

“I shouldn’t have come. You probably have lots of work to do, the professors aren’t holding back on homework this week.”

“No,” Stop. Did Wyatt now know how angry that made Alec? He should have come. He needed to talk to Alec, they needed to work whatever was going on out. It was what they should have been doing instead of going through this. Whatever this was leading too, stop. Wyatt needed to stop, take a deep breath and just not-

“I’ll leave you to… yes,”

Wyatt practically sprinted, merlin he was getting fast. Damn it.

“Wyatt-” Alec's voice was far too quiet, barely above a whisper and Wyatt wasn't close enough to hear. Frustration built in Alec. What was he supposed to do now? He was just going! No explanation no real reason- Was Alec supposed to run? Was he supposed to let Wyatt leave?

Alec started following after him. It was unfortunate, Alec didn't want to be the type of person who began chasing down their friend who had just run off. Really Alec did sound like the bad guy in such a situation. He should have just let Wyatt go, but he couldn't. Alec was too stubborn it wasn't happening this time, he refused to let it happen.

When he was able to catch up with Wyatt, opting not to chase him down at full speed. Alec's only thoughts were get Wyatt to stop, get Wyatt to stay, he can't leave not now not when- In a state of desperation Alec grabbed for Wyatt's hand without thinking about it.

“Wyatt please-” The sheer amount desperation could be heard in Alec's voice. Alec almost couldn't believe it, the same situation all over again... What happened last time he thought Wyatt was going to walk away. Alec had such trouble with people walking out on him. It frustrated him on many levels because in situation like such Alec was more reactive then most, it was hard to just simply 'stay calm'.

Alec took a second to adjust to the fact that he was not chasing after Wyatt anymore, they were both still. Alec could finish what he was saying. His voice was softer, “Wyatt please... stay. Just sit with me or something... It only has to be a few minutes. I won't make you do stay, but you-you can't just walk away.”

Alec's eyes suddenly looked slightly glossy. “I-I can't handle-” On instinct he wanted to rub at his eyes just to deal with it quickly, that was when he would remember he was holding onto Wyatt's hand and sheepishly pull away. The Gryffindor wouldn't end up needing to do that as he realized messing up his school robes may have not been the best idea. The Gryffindor looked away, opting to try to blink back tears instead.

He would never end up finishing the sentence.

Alec took a deep breath, one that sounded shaky and he would look back at Wyatt. Why had he been the one asking if Wyatt was okay? Trying to make sure... It was ironic considering he was getting teary-eyed over the idea of Wyatt walking away.

This was stupid so stupid... He shouldn't be like this. He wasn't supposed to cry at all, he done it before, that was bad enough. Wyatt didn't need to see that, Alec didn't want to start that.

“I haven't had anything close to-to a hug in months and I... I didn't expect you to ask since you don't really seem to... you know... like hugs.” Alec had actually thought Wyatt hated them, but apparently not. It was strange, confusing, and sudden for Alec, and he understood none of it. Of course that was barely 1/4th of the reason. He still was attempting to avoid hug monsters, his reaction time was slow.

Wyatt still wanted a hug. Alec didn't really know what set him off in the first place... Alec was going to hug him. Was he embarrassed about asking? ehh... It didn't really matter what it was. Wyatt seemed fine, he wasn't running off, Alec could do it now.

Alec moved a step closer and hugged Wyatt. Alec was gentle about it, and by the time he pulled away he looked calmer. Alec certainly felt better, hopefully Wyatt did too. If he was going to end up leaving in a few minutes Alec still had one question to ask, “did you have a good reason?” A good reason for not even saying hi, Wyatt had to know what Alec was asking about, and maybe this time he'd get an answer. If Wyatt didn't want to tell him what it was, Alec still needed something to put his mind at ease.

@Wyatt Starkey

[font=times new roman]wearing: slytherin uniform

[font=times new roman]hex: #3a5948

[font=times new roman]“Wyatt.”

It should have been too quiet for Wyatt to hear, but he couldn’t use volume as an excuse for why he didn’t stop. He heard it. He heard the way Alec’s whisper sounded angry. Frustrated, at least. Wyatt was worried. He didn’t want Alec to be mad at him. The Gryffindor’s footsteps were thundering after his, trying to keep up, but Wyatt didn’t know what would happen if he slowed. Quickly, he raised his pace a bit.

“Wyatt please.”

The new tone of Alec’s voice almost made Wyatt trip on his own feet; he was so caught off guard. There was such an immediate switch from frustration to worry and desperation that made Wyatt’s stomach do flips. There was something so terrifying to Wyatt about his own inability to decipher what Alec was feeling based on the tone of his voice and what expressions he wore before Wyatt fled.

He didn’t know how he did it before, and couldn’t imagine himself as one of those people anymore. It was nothing if not scary, the way that he lost a gift that he’d once used daily to ensure his survival. It was additionally confusing that Wyatt couldn’t place the loss at a specific date. It had begun fading long before Wyatt fought Henry, and it wasn’t completely snuffed at that moment, either. Now was when he really understood it was gone, though, and if he could competently make a sentence, he’d say now was when he needed it most.

But he didn’t have it and there was no substitute. He just didn’t think as he did. He wasn’t sharp anymore; his head was constantly in fog. He’d live a day and only realize it happened at all when he got back into bed and remembered a time he thought the day would never end. But now he was so present and so embarrassed and so scared and he wished his brain was even foggier. And the corridors blurred as he raced past them, turning a corner before his wrist was grabbed without warning and he was stuck.

Genuinely, Wyatt wondered if he’d walked into drying cement or some strange wizard adhesive. Just as Alec’s hand took hold of his wrist, he’d stopped. Yes, the reaction was so immediate, Wyatt assumed he must’ve stepped in something, but a quick look down revealed he was standing on the same stone he’d been speed-walking away from Alec on. But he wasn’t fast enough and he let himself get caught. Merlin, help him.

“Wyatt please... stay. Just sit with me or something... It only has to be a few minutes. I won't make you do stay, but you-you can't just walk away.”

Wyatt heard it in his voice. It was soft but it was also holding something back. There were the beginnings of tears in his voice, threatening to break it. Wyatt didn’t like the noise, and he especially didn’t like the fact that the tone shifted again. Something else, however, required most of his attention.

Stay. Stay, he’d said. No one had asked him to stay before. No one had been happy to see him walk into a room, let alone encourage him not to leave it. The words felt so foreign directed at him, and he’d never used them himself, but he knew he might have if it were Alec leaving. However much Wyatt had wanted to remain strong, his past wants were rendered useless under Alec’s grasp and his words.

His absurdly kind words that were undeserved by the Slytherin they were directed toward. He’d always been so content as the boy no one could stand. It was much more difficult to have people who care about you than those who didn’t. People who cared about you fussed over you when you weren’t well and grabbed your wrist when you didn’t answer their well-meaning questions and wanted you to stay.

Alec had removed his hand from Wyatt’s wrist by now, but Wyatt hadn’t built up the strength to look away. His eyes had been glued on Alec’s fingers wrapped around his lower arm in horror since he tried to look up from the floor; it was bad for his posture. His will wasn’t strong enough. Never had been, really. Realizing he looked odd though, he slowly—thoughtfully—turned around to face Alec. He saw the tears first.

“I-I can't handle-” His voice shook with the breath he inhaled. “I haven't had anything close to-to a hug in months and I... I didn't expect you to ask since you don't really seem to... you know... like hugs.”

Wyatt didn’t know what to say. He was still so scared. He could barely even think of what he should say in a moment such as this. Did this mean that all this time, since their argument at Miller’s club’s dance, Alec thought Wyatt didn’t like their hug? That he hugged Alec even though he hated the gesture? Well, maybe Alec was a bit right. Wyatt wasn’t the world’s biggest fan of touch, in general, but all he needed was a warning. Or maybe someone asking him if it would be okay before. But he didn’t hate hugs.

But Alec had acted like he hated them, and if he didn’t want to hug then he wouldn’t make him hug. And besides, he was okay anyway. He just asked one strange question and now Alec was all worried about him—more than he needed to be. But before Wyatt could say that he was just joking, Alec had gone in. He was gentle about it, and that was something that (fortunately) made Wyatt feel more safe than hopelessly fragile.

After he’d pulled away, Alec asked Wyatt an impossible question: “Did you have a good reason?”

Wyatt didn’t know if he had a good reason, but he had a reason, for certain. After an expression betraying his inner reflection as to whether or not his reply was worthy, his features relaxed and became reserved. He wasn’t sad, though. The hug had helped, though not in the way he’d imagined. He didn’t feel a burst of energy like he was reborn, but he could still feel Alec’s arms around him. He knew that this phantom hug meant Alec was still there, even if Wyatt had been distant for a short while.

“I just haven't seen you in so long.” Wyatt paused, trying to put together what to say. “I d- don’t think I can explain it a- a... another way. I just felt… cold. Tired. Like a corpse that just wouldn't fully get there?

“I know I worried you, I’m s- sorry. You didn’t need that. I’ve barely talked to you in months and-- I just needed to know you were still here, I guess. Erm... a month ago, now, I got into an argument with Henry Knight about his cat,” Wyatt smirked at the floor, thinking about how dumb he must’ve sounded. “I tried too hard to set him off and eventually my wand was at his neck, and his was at mine.

“He... he said that I was pathetic a- and...” Wyatt settled for a direct quote, “'You aren’t clever or brave or liked, you’re nothing,'” of course, he remembered the words exactly. “Please know the things I said were equally bad... m-maybe worse, but after that he began to cast Bombarda. And then he stopped himself. And I was so angry at myself because I liked... how I could make him get that angry. And I almost died.

“So, even though I almost got him to bend to my will he won because he was right about me and I’m a monster and I don't know what to do. Hell, I'm still thinking about the whole thing in terms of winning and losing-” Wyatt noticed a teardrop fall to the ground. He didn't know he was crying. “Oh,” Wyatt breathed.

[font=times new roman]Interacting: @Alec Mason
Mentioning: N/A

Description: Alec is wearing his school uniform, his nails are painted white, and he's carrying a book with him.

Things had settled down and Alec felt calm. He wasn't chasing after Wyatt, and he wasn't scared that Wyatt was going to try to run and pull that stunt again. Alec didn't feel like doing much of the talking, he was lucky when asking Wyatt that question put him instead in the position to listen. Alec features were soft, it wasn't hard to tell that he'd been concerned. He was hoping some sort of answer, any at all would be enough to do away with any worries he'd had earlier. The last thing he wanted to do was walk away from this worrying more than he'd been before.

The wait was less torturous, less pain-staking than only minutes earlier before Wyatt ran off. Alec felt better, Wyatt seemed to be better, it was okay. Alec didn't mind waiting for an answer to his words, it was complicated... Alec's calm expression surprised even himself, as he listened to Wyatt. Alec understood, sort of. He holding back the urge to tackle the other into a hug. Now that he'd done it once he sure did feel the right to go overboard. How could he not? Alec wished he'd been trying to seek Wyatt out more. Wrap Wyatt in a blanket of overwhelming support, and all just because of a few words. It was strange how fast that had come on.

“You weren't okay.” The conclusion did nothing, but saying it out loud somehow felt different. Did saying it out loud somehow confirm it? Maybe. Why else would Wyatt have avoided answering? But he said he was fine. What does fine mean? What happened to Alec being calm? Why all the questions? Why couldn't Alec just be normal and live in the moment or whatever? I didn't tale much for Alec to spiral, he tried to keep himself focused on the task at hand, listening to Wyatt.

“I know I worried you, I’m s- sorry. You didn’t need that. I’ve barely talked to you in months and-- I just needed to know you were still here, I guess.”

He knew before? How did he know? Was Alec that obvious? Does that mean Alec worrying had been on his mind? How much did he know about Alec worrying? Did he know the reasons? Did he worry for himself like that too? Alec's head tilted slightly to the side as he listened, followed by a nod, Alec held back a sorry of his own, it was best to save his comments for later. It wasn't listening if he was doing the talking.

Then Wyatt brought up Henry Knight. Alec looked the other direction, away from Wyatt. He was unable not to scowl at the name, therefore is was best he scowled in a place away from Wyatt's direction. Apparently the two had gotten into an argument over Henry's cat. Wyatt mentioned trying to upset Henry, and finally both their wands ending up at each other's throats.

Alec looked back. He wasn't scowling anymore, he was staring. That was a serious thing. A scary serious thing and it didn't mean anything good. Wyatt had to know it was serious, and so did Henry. Then Wyatt mentioned words said, Alec felt like shriveling up and disappearing. Wyatt claimed he'd said worse but all Alec could think about was if Wyatt actually believed it. Then Henry was casting a spell and Alec closed his eyes, Wyatt was okay now but Alec didn't want to think about it. The surprise was obvious when he'd been told that Henry stopped himself. Henry? Really? He had a temper like none other when you got to him, it was a surprise. Alec thought he would go through, Henry seemed like the type.

Alec listened to Wyatt, keeping quiet until he noticed Wyatt had started to cry. Alec frowned as he looked at Wyatt, feeling slightly helpless. “Do you- um do you want another hug?”(of course if he says yes, Alec hugs him. Otherwise the paragraph moves on normally.) Did Wyatt want to hear something that would make him feel better? Or did he want Alec to affirm that he was totally a monster? Should Alec have even been thinking about this? What did it matter what he chose, it wasn't as if Wyatt could get mad or Alec reacting honestly. What was honestly? Did he think Wyatt was bad? Was he biased? What Alec wanted to say was, 'do you believe everything he said? I'm not saying it to try to justify your actions, just answer.' but that did feel like justifying actions didn't it? Besides that wasn't really the part Alec was focused on. “Do you actually believe you're a monster?”

Alec still wouldn't give Wyatt a chance to speak, he needed to finish, and it was interrupted it was practically ruined. It was insane how much Alec wanted to begin listing Wyatt's good qualities, this wasn't even the focus. Should Alec have been saying any of that? “I don't. The world is complicated, people are complicated. We're all pretty morally ambiguous and everyone has bits of both 'bad' and 'good'. For the same reason you can't be a monster, nobody can be perfect.” Alec sighed, folding his arms across his chest, he needed to get to it, this time before Wyatt did. He didn't want Wyatt coming with with another comment like the cat poster one.

The next thing one of those would do is make Alec question his sanity, it really was not the time. “I know you want to make some comment but now isn't the time. Just think about it, you don't have to reply to me. It's also probably not what you wanted to hear..?” Alec was assuming as much, either Wyatt wanted to hear he was bad or he wanted to hear he was a saint, wasn't that usually how it worked??? Of course Wyatt wasn't the usual type of person but eh... Alec could try his best and go from there. “Anyway, It was the only one I could think of where I wasn't saying anything mean about Henry and therefore not being biased so it's for the better I chose this one.” Alec looked away laughing nervously, “the rest were all really bad and sort of mean.”

@Wyatt Starkey | Mentioning: Henry Knight

wearing: slytherin uniform

hex: #3a5948

“Do you- um do you want another hug?”

Wyatt shook his head, no. He was still staring at the floor, where his tear had fallen, unable to lift his head. It had practically landed in slow motion, creating its own little puddle on the chilled stone. Wyatt didn’t know what he was doing. He was also confused as to why he told Alec why he was here so easily. Really, he’d expected to show up, maybe receive a hug, and then walk away. That plan had failed miserably.

And he didn’t know why he was now lying to Alec. More than anything else in the world, Wyatt wanted that other hug that Alec offered him, but he didn’t take it. And he could not place why. Especially after he’d been so clear and forward before, why was he now holding back? Now, when it was so obvious Alec wanted him to feel better. He wanted to help him and Wyatt wouldn’t–no, he couldn’t let him. Wyatt watched another teardrop join the puddle. Had his face sprung a leak? Right: clear, not blood. Still, would tape help?

“Do you actually believe you're a monster?” Yes. But he couldn’t let Alec hear that, even though he was internally willing Alec to believe it. Not just to believe it, but to understand that he shouldn’t want to be around Wyatt because he wasn’t… well, he wasn’t anything. Wyatt looked up with a pained expression that showed how he believed with absolute certainty that he was a monster yet was utterly confused when it comes to the probability of it. He was awful to most. But not to some. How?

“I don't. The world is complicated, people are complicated. We're all pretty morally ambiguous and everyone has bits of both 'bad' and 'good'. For the same reason you can't be a monster, nobody can be perfect.” Alec sighed and crossed his arms. Wyatt wanted to say that it didn’t make sense. That if he, or no one else, was completely evil then no one was good in the world. And maybe that Alec sounded like a voiceover at the end of a movie.

“I know you want to make some comment but now isn't the time. Just think about it, you don't have to reply to me. It's also probably not what you wanted to hear..? Anyway, It was the only one I could think of where I wasn't saying anything mean about Henry and therefore not being biased so it's for the better I chose this one. The rest were all really bad and sort of mean.”

“I don’t know if I wanted to ‘ear– hear anything,” Wyatt said before he let his brain think of a response. How did he let himself do that? Could he do it again? Did he want to? Too much. Too many questions. Wyatt looked down the corridor behind Alec, and felt a pang of fear in his stomach as he thought about returning to his dorm. All the people he’d pass… his dormmates. Please, anyone but them. He felt the weight of his head rise and he no longer had the strength to hold it up. It fell, neck going limp, hair falling over his eyes.

“I do not know how you can be so kind to me, when” I really am a monster. The words fizzled out.

And suddenly, his whole body just felt heavy, and Wyatt didn’t like the idea of holding it all up. Without much grace, Wyatt stumbled to a position where his back would be against the corridor’s wall, and he slid down. His knees were soon the same height as his chin, and he crossed his arms above them, and lowered his head into the opening. He was only standing? Why had he suddenly become so dizzy?

It was too scary, feeling like this, and Alec shouldn’t have to worry himself about Wyatt if the feelings he were feeling weren’t his feelings. They were friends, yes, but Wyatt felt asking him to be there was a bit too much of a request, and Alec had done enough already. Wyatt appreciated him more than anything or anyone else, and he had a strange ache in his chest that told him the appreciation wouldn’t go away. He owed him so much. His life, possibly. No, certainly, and for him to burden Alec any further? That might kill him.

But if he did die, he’d be betraying Alec even more? So could he do anything right by him? He hadn’t had any luck trying to do right by most of the other people he had fallen into the debt of, so he couldn’t imagine it being easier trying to be good to someone who meant so much to him. The stakes were higher. And even worse! Alec never seemed to ask anything of him! There was never a clear opportunity to help, to make up for his debt. And sometimes they’d drift apart for longer than they thought they would. And it hurt.

“I’m sorry, Alec,” he said. His words were muffled and the tone beneath the fabric he spoke through couldn’t be described as personal. He sounded like a student who had been asked by their teacher to verbalize what it was they did wrong before the class. How could he let Alec waste his time like this? “I’m sure you’d like to go. Please, do. Next time I’d like to talk to you I’ll be sure to send a note.”

Interacting: @Alec Mason
Mentioning: N/A

Description: Alec is wearing his school uniform, his nails are painted white, the book he brought with him was--
--kicked out of his line of sight

“I don’t know if I wanted to ‘ear– hear anything,”

Alec wanted to ask Wyatt why he did that every time, he talked differently at the other way he spoke seemed to feel more natural to him. Alec wanted to ask why he felt the need to not do it, did it matter at all? Instead Alec focused on the words, ones that made him chuckle, “fair enough,” that was a very valid point to make. Of course, it didn't change much of anything now. “And thank you, for telling me why you showed up.” Alec meant it. Even if he couldn't do anything with the information, it did make him feel better in a way he had a hard time understanding.

“I do not know how you can be so kind to me, when” He didn't go on but Alec didn't need him to go on to know what he was going to say.

“I feel like you're forgetting how this whole me being your friend thing works. You see, hav- woah-” It seemed almost instantly Wyatt was on the ground. He hadn't fallen, but the sudden movement caused Alec to pause, stop, stare. That didn't seem normal... And here he was getting caught up, the focus was Wyatt so clearly he needed to focus on Wyatt and not worry about explaining how the having a friend thing works for the 1000th time. Clearly he was going to have to explain that, he just had to save it for another time. One where preferably Wyatt wasn't on the floor in the corridors.

“I’m sorry, Alec,” “I’m sure you’d like to go. Please, do. Next time I’d like to talk to you I’ll be sure to send a note.”

“Ha,” Alec half-laughed, his voice sounded bitter. “Really? We're doing this?” He frowned, and his eyebrows furrowed as his eyes narrowed as he looked at Wyatt. “No, nope. I mean, you tried, I'll give you that, but you knew- we both knew that was never going to work.” Alec muttered followed by a shake of his head, and holding his tongue, keeping himself from saying anything else that wouldn't have been helpful to the moment at hand. Not now, not a good time.

He was concerned, it was hard for Alec to understand why Wyatt tried to pull that one on him. Which is why he had also decided by this point, he wasn't going to try to understand it. The more he tried to make sense of something the less sense it seemed to make, instead he decided to ask the important question. “Do you mind if I stay, if I sit with you?” Alec asked, he walked closer, and when Wyatt made no move to stop him Alec looked relieved, he put his back to the wall and dramatically slid down it into a sitting position. Alec would set his book down on the floor in front of them and set his hands out on either side on him, his palms touching the floor, his right hand taking a place in the space he had left between himself and Wyatt.

Alec's gaze would be drilled onto the book he set down. There was an odd guilty looked that flashed on the third-year's face as he focused his attention there.

Winter break. The book.

. . . Not yet.

Having it in front of Wyatt, there was a part of Alec that wished it had been thrown out like the other things. At least that he'd burnt it. Of course he hadn't. If he wasn't snooping around it wouldn't have been in his hands in the first place. With a nudge of his foot Alec kicked the book from both their lines of sight.

He'd have to pick it up later, but he was going to leave it for now, he wouldn't be able to focus unless he had it away from his view. He could forget about it for now. It's not like Wyatt would care even if he noticed he didn't know what it was. Actually maybe he wouldn't if he knew what it was either way, Alec didn't plan to find out

“This feels oddly familiar...” Alec whispered. This was a part of planning on not finding out. Also this did feel oddly familiar. Except last time he'd been in a similar situation to this, it was him holding an ice pack to Wyatt's broken nose. The worst part was Alec had given Wyatt the broken nose. The third-year grimaced at the thought. He turned his head to look over at Wyatt a gentle concern reaching his eyes as he watched him. Alec reflected, remembering Wyatt hadn't taken very kindly to Alec's attempts to help. It felt like a pride thing at the time, Alec could recognize it with his own whole pride thing going on, except Alec's pride thing was less of a smack to the face because he'd never used it to tell someone he wouldn't ever mean a certain sorry. Alec didn't know if he believed any of that now, or if it mattered whether or not he did.

Alec found it rather bemusing now as he remembered Wyatt rather spitefully moving the ice pack from his nose. As if he didn't think Alec knew of what he was doing. If Wyatt had let Alec speak before taking control over the situation maybe Alec would have been able to explain the ice pack should have reduced the swelling. Or maybe not... He probably just would have been mad.

Wyatt's reaction to Alec's help for his broken nose now seemed comparable to the likes of Hanako Tone. They didn't want his help, neither could seem to accept it, even if Alec intentions were as simple as making sure the other was okay. Alec still felt bad about both incidents, which he felt could have been preventable on his end, and making sure the person was okay had to have been the least he could do.

It was hard to believe he was here now. Sitting here in a peaceful arrangement, Wyatt Starkey, a friend. There was a time in which he had to wonder what would have happened if Wyatt hadn't stayed the summer, surely they wouldn't be like this, not anything close to friends.

“I'll sit with you for as long as you stay here. If you want to leave in a bit I want to walk with you at least a little of the way if not all of the way to wherever you're going.” Wyatt would be able to continue his plans as planned. Alec just needed to see for himself that Wyatt was alright or that he was going to be alright. Also Alec would hurt anyone who dare as look at Wyatt the wrong wayokay, well, maybe just threaten them where Wyatt couldn't hear, Wyatt shedding a few tears was a good thing. It was bad he was crying but Alec wasn't a mind reader and Wyatt didn't tend to be a super open person. Alec was taking what he could get.

Alec wanted to ask Wyatt why he was so fixated on the word monster, Wyatt had been called plenty of things before, monster felt like one of the least worst options of the bunch. He wish he knew what it meant to Wyatt. Why it bothered him so much.

@Wyatt Starkey | Mentioning(very briefly): Hanako Tone