Where All the Books Live PV Finished

Meenauh was a bit blown out by the unexpected and kind of awkward friendship request, which she didn't quite use to. Brynlee Sage, a Slytherin, directly requesting friendship, honestly and sincerely, from a supposed Gryffindor. Meenauh wasn't prejudiced about Houses and connections between the Houses. It was herself, who made a theory just recently, that Houses were just mere labels and probably weren't supposed to dictate behaviour of a person. Nevertheless, this desperate openness was a strange thing to her, if not dangerous as she couldn't just jump into relationships and call a person a friend during their first meeting. 

She hesitated for a second, thinking of the kindest way to support the topic she felt uneasy about:

"Brynlee," she started softly, "over the several passed hours I've been noticing how first-year students strive for friendships in order to feel better about this place. To feel better, because they are just children yet, and they were separated from their parents. It's not easy to find yourself alone when you spent the previous eleven years with your supporting and loving parents. Even if not, it's better than not having anyone close around," her voice unexpectedly wavered, like really unexpectedly, but she continued, "And in this regards, I can assure you that if you need any help or would just wish to discuss something you feel worth discussing, you can contact me anytime. Well, except when I sleep, because I value sleeping very highly."

She looked directly into Brynlee's eyes as if wishing to console her and make this place a bit brighter. Because future aurors had to be given light before they face the darkness.

Brynlee began to chew on her lip while she awaited the girls answer, something she’s always done when she was nervous. She felt her heartbeat quicken, pounding against her chest like a mini horse stampede inside her body. Those few seconds while Meenauh thought felt like hours to Bryn. Sure, she’s had friends before Hogwarts, but none of them lasted as long as seven years. Brynlee began to doubt herself, wondering if she should’ve talked to this girl in the first place. Maybe she could make it through the next seven years of her life without anyone helping her, supporting her through her best and worst moments.

When Meenauh took a breath to respond, Brynlee’s heart dropped as she imagined all of her fears coming true. She opened her mouth to apologize, and tell Meenauh to forget it, but the words that came out of the Gryffindor’s mouth were… Unexpected. As she spoke, Brynlee’s heart slowly came back to life and her face stretched into a smile. It dropped a little when her voice wavered, and Brynlee’s thoughts came back, but they soon went away when Meenauh finished her sentence.

It took Brynlee a while to find the right words to say, so she just sat there with a beaming smile. “Meenauh, I…” she let out a breathy laugh. “I honestly didn’t… Expect you to say that?” She laughed again, shaking her head. “Sorry, I just… I’m trying not to squeal and jump up and down.” She looked at Meenauh, then placed her right hand over her heart. “Meenauh Whatever-Your-Last-Name-Is, I solemnly swear to be the best friend I can possibly be. I will be there for you in your hard times, I will laugh with you in your good times. I will be a shoulder to cry on, a rock to lift you up. I promise to help you with your homework, suggest good books to read, and support you in whatever you choose. Also, just a side note, if someone hurts you, physically or mentally, they will regret it.” She let out a breath and nodded, confirming everything she just said. “May I… May I give you a hug?”

"Whoa!" the thought came sharply like a winter breeze right into her face as Brynlee's over-friendly energy struck her.

She didn't quite expect the conversation to lead to that end. Maybe making friends was an important thing for people, but she wasn't there yet. Getting close to people wasn't one of her strong characteristics, not saying about being friends with someone she met just moments ago. So after the totally unexpected 'solemnly swear' she was dazed a bit and unwillingly slightly swerved away from Brynlee.

After a couple of seconds of desperately looking for socially tolerable reactions, she decided to just be sincere with Brynlee, especially after the hugging offer:

"Brynlee. That is a very pleasant and comforting thing to hear and I thank you very much for this. It's just that I'm very serious about calling a person a friend and I think you and I should get a bit more acquainted with each other. You know, you would be a very amazing Hufflepuff or a Gryffindor. That's pure truth. So I'll make a proposition. Let's become reading mates, for now, so that we could get to know each other better through the common activity we like — reading," she paused for a while, to ask herself whether she'd want to drag Brynlee to the Sorting Hat research she was going to accomplish in the closest future, "and... I think there's something you could find a very interesting adventure and help me a lot along the way. What would you say to that?"

When Meenauh didn’t answer, Brynlee’s heart sunk. She let out the breath she didn’t know she was holding and sighed. She knew she should’ve kept her mouth shut instead of possibly scaring Meenauh off. She relaxed back into her seat just as Meenauh began to talk. As she spoke, Brynlee’s heart dropped even more.

“Oh. Yeah,” Brynlee nodded a few moments after Meenauh finished. Her brain needed time to process what had just happened. She sighed and nodded again, “Yeah, that’s fine… Sorry…” Brynlee held the book close to her chest, trying to keep from crying. Her first attempt at a friend had resulted in, not a friend, but a reading partner. Of course, Brynlee wasn’t that upset since she didn’t come away with nothing, but still. She blinked once, then twice, then looked at Meenauh with a plastered smile.

“Well, reading partner…” She took a breath, “Let’s… read, I guess…” she reopened her book and continued from where she left off, but the words on the page weren’t entering her brain. Maybe this is a sign… Maybe I’m supposed to make my way through these seven years myself… She shook her head softly and actually began to read, her eyes going a lot slower than usual.

When Meenauh finished talking, before Brynlee even started answering, her eyes gave it away. And suddenly Meenauh felt so bad she never felt in her life before. That was new. That hurt. She felt like she hurt someone and felt even worse herself. She could never even guess social interactions could be that difficult and she was behaving like Brynlee was not a sensitive 11-year girl, but some grown-up. What was she thinking right now? Was she too cruel to answer like this to the open-hearted girl, who just felt so bad and alone to stay in a new place, in a new world, without her parents and with no friends around?

And then Brynlee spoke.

The whole world drowned deep and Meenauh felt like she was suffocating. Brynlee opened her book and continued to read as if that book was the only thing that left in the world and if she wouldn't have started to read, she could burst in tears.

Meenauh heard her heartbeat slowing down and her consciousness becoming a growing bubble filling up the room, ready to explode. The room felt bigger and bigger as the bubble kept expanding. Then she realised that deep emotions could cause uncontrolled magic to burst out with unpredictable consequences, and she started to breathe to get back to reality.

She closed her, listening to the heartbeat calming down, and the put her hand on the paper of the pages Brynlee was reading, and started in the most tender and comforting voice she could manage:

"Brynlee. I am deeply sorry that I behaved like a complete moron. I didn't realise how hard it must be for you to suddenly be strong while being completely alone here. Especially, because you don't have to. Especially, because no one ever deserves being alone. Especially, if you're an eleven-year girl," she took a deep breath and continued, "I want to be your friend, Brynlee. I'm not sure I deserve being a friend to a wonderful and tender being like you, but I'll try hard, I promise. Not that I'll make an Unbreakable Vow right now," she tried to smile,  "but I give you my word."

The world stopped moving, no sounds, no movement, no air in the room. She sat with her eyes wide-open, staring at Brynlee, and counting the lapsing beats of her heart.

For a few minutes, all was silent. Brynlee didn’t say anything, nor did she plan on saying anything. She didn’t know if she could, her throat felt so tight and dry. She coughed once, then twice, trying to get rid of the lump in her throat. Her eyes got blurry and she realized it was because of the tears that were building up, despite her efforts to keep them down. Taking one hand off of her book, she wiped the wetness from her eyes and hoped, no, prayed that Meenauh didn’t notice.

Even though she cleared her eyes, she still could not focus on the page in front of her. She began to listen to her breaths, which were getting shakier and shakier every second. She closed her eyes and tried to calm down, but she felt a hand on her book and looked at the page. The hand on her book belonged to Meenauh, and Brynlee lowered her book and sighed softly.

Meenauh began to explain how she was sorry, and that Brynlee didn’t deserve to be alone, and ended off with saying that she wants to be her friend. Brynlee sighed again and shook her head, “Meenauh, you’re right. I shouldn’t have come off like that after only knowing you for a few minutes....” She paused to gather her thoughts into understandable sentences, “And yes, no one deserves to be alone, but… I need to learn to be alone. I’m not going to have my parents or my friends by my side when I’m an auror, and it’s better to get used to that now…” She wiped her eyes again, “Thank you for the offer, but in my experience, you’re saying that just because I got upset. You meant what you said the first time, which means you can’t mean what you just said. I must also thank you for this experience. This taught me that I can’t be soft and tender all the time, especially after a… simple rejection. We can still continue to be reading partners, but maybe we should… wait, at least, to become friends, especially good friends, like the kind of friends I want to have.”

She watched Meenauh’s reaction, before speaking up once more, “I’m sorry for getting so upset after something that didn’t require that much thought. It was childish of me, and I shouldn’t have been so butt-hurt about it. I’m sorry…”

Meenauh took her hand off the book as Brynlee started to talk with a wavering voice, breaking from time to time. Meenauh tried to smile through the whole speech of Brynlee, who was building up some strange strength inside, unseen in her before. Was it really a simple rejection that made her think she should start learning to be by herself? By the end of her speech, Meenauh couldn't embrace whether Brynlee wanted to stay apart or try getting each other better. 

She thought for a couple of seconds and then the answer started to form just as she was speaking:

"You don't have to be that apologetic all the time. You didn't do anything wrong, Brynlee. Anything. But you are a child, Brynlee. Same as me. No one expects you to be auror-like strong at the age of eleven. And I'm afraid being alone will not help you become a better auror. Actually..." she cut herself, thinking whether it was a good idea, "Actually, being alone usually drives people to the dark side," she hated herself now for just speaking about that, but something drove her to speak up, "So you say wait until we become friends... Does that mean I can at least try to become your friend?"

After her apology speech, Brynlee’s heart was racing. She began to think that she did the wrong thing, and she only made things worse. They told her that if she had kept her mouth shut, then she would have a friend. It didn’t matter if that friend was fake, it was still a friend. At least, that’s what the voices told her. 

Meenauh was silent, and that caused Bryn’s heart to nearly explode. She didn’t know if she was coming up with something to cover up her previous lies, or something to insincerely comfort Brynlee, but when she finally spoke, Brynlee’s breath caught in her throat. 

What Meenauh was saying was nothing like what Brynlee was expecting. Brynlee could tell, by the tone of Meenauh’s voice, that she was serious, and she meant every word. Either that, or she was a really good actress. 

When Meenauh brought up the dark side, Brynlee’s eyes widened. She remembered stories from Lily and Day about people who were so bad, they weren’t afraid to use an Unforgivable Curse on an innocent person. Brynlee could never see herself becoming dark, but Meenauh was right. Brynlee slowly nodded. “I... Guess you’re right...” 

Brynlee sighed and nodded again, “Yes, Meenauh, you can try to become my friend. But I’m telling you right now it’s not going to be easy! I need to learn how to not trust everyone at the first second, so this is good practice.” She had a look of determination on her face before she leaned in and whispered in Meenauh’s ear. “But secretly, I already consider you my friend...” She sat up and crossed her arms over her chest, book tucked under her armpit, and she stood up. 

“Well, Meenauh. I wish you luck in becoming my friend,” She smiled and winked. “I’ll see you around, okay?” She waved goodbye with one hand before turning and exiting the library. 

The next several seconds ran pretty fast as she was listening to what Brynlee responded. The access to the opportunity of becoming friends was granted so Meenauh could start straight away. Then Brynlee talked about not trusting anyone at the first second. She sounded like Meenauh actually taught her a lesson, which hurt Meenauh even more. Or probably she should think it was for good reason because one really shouldn't trust every person they meet. And aurors had to be always suspicious with all those shapeshifters, Polyjuice and other magical stuff that could mimic one's appearance.

Meenauh wanted to answer, but Brynlee leaned and whispered to her ear that she was secretly already considering her a friend. Which was a bit comforting, though still not that believable. After that Brynlee just waved, said goodbye and left the library.

And Meenauh sat alone in a comfortable seat, which was not as comfortable as it was when she arrived. Her heart didn't beat fast anymore as she even couldn't tell whether it was beating at all. She closed her eyes, sat back deep in the seat, opened the book, opened her eyes, and started to read further. After a couple of words, she just jumped up, put the book to her bag and stormed out of the library.