Presents and Polaroid Pictures Finished

Min smiled. ”I hope so,” she said. She was scared if she signed up, they wouldn’t let her in. She was always afraid of being rejected, which is why she didn’t have the courage to do most things, or probably sign up for R.O.A.M. She twiddled her fingers, suddenly feeling sort of cold. She didn’t know why. She wrapped her hands around herself. She was still surprised from today’s events. She didn’t really expect any of this, more or less a cake. She turned back to El. She nodded. ”I understand. I still don’t understand them, even though I’ve lived with one for a while.” she said with a smile. That smile fell as El asked what happened. She curled up at the corner of the couch. ”Well, just all of this, it reminded me of my family. My family was actually quite big, and it reminded me of when I was younger. On my birthday, everyone would come over. It was always held in the ballroom, and there’d be a lot of dancing and such. After the fire though....” she trailed off. She missed her parents. A lot. She let looked back at El. ”So yeah, that’s what it was. It isn’t a big deal. Just memories.”

OOC:I’m so sorry that it took so long! I went on a trip and we didn’t have WiFi. Plus exams and stuff.

§

"Memories can hold us alone and afraid better than any prison or cage, Lights. Especially ones like that." Elena stayed perched on her chair, "You're dealing with them well, but my only trick after that is to pretend to be more confident than you are. Just pretend everyone around you isn't actually real until you need them to be."

Unhealthy delusions? What unhealthy delusions, nothing but perfect mental health over here, a true paragon, a poster child, in fact. Not.

"I've been having nightmares, a lot of them, and the one constant is the fact they mirror a memory from years ago." Elena decided to share some stuff, "It's me, following someone important to me, usually it'll be Alan, sometimes you. They'll run towards the bad side of London, and I'll try and tell them to stop, to slow down... but."

Elena could feel tears stinging her eyes and she swallowed, "They keep going, and the colour will start to fade, and it'll get dark. Then they get to... to." Breathe Elena "To the alley, and then he takes them, into the darkness. I can finally scream again and then I wake up before I can follow them."

Elena was staring straight ahead at the end, you could almost see the gaslighting of the east end reflected in her eyes. As if she was watching it all unfold.

Min smiled sadly. ”I really do wish I was confident, but it’s quite hard. Plus I can’t pretend something isn’t there when it is. I always know something is there. I’ll try it though,” she said, fidgeting with her bracelet. She had a hard time believing something isn’t there. That was a flaw in her eyes. She got super scared at night because she always believed something was watching her. Her ears perked up at Elena telling her about a nightmare she had constantly. It seemed horrible. She seemed to start to cry. Min-seo walked over to her and debated giving her a hug or not. Would El push her off? Hopefully not, because she made her decision. She hugged El for a few moments. She quietly let go and looked at El. ”El, remember that it’s a dream. Alan and I are here, and I won’t leave you, unless you want me to,” she said. She felt so bad for Elena. Min-seo never grew up in a bad area, but she did have very scary vivid dreams of the fire. She had a hard two years, but it seemed like El had a hard life in general. Min wanted to do something, but she didn’t know how.

§

"True confidence is always hard, in the end it's either a choice to think that the consequences will end well, or that the consequences don't matter." Elena frowned, "Although nihilism and underpreparedness are bad options."

Min-seo was so sweet and nice, and Elena worried about her a lot. Mainly if people were being nice to her, and if her friends were making sure she was okay. It was hard to check on someone that you didn't see nearly often enough. She'd have to make more of an effort, so far Elena's social life consisted of accidentally stumbling over her friends in weird places.

Elena hugged her friend back and smiled a little tearfully at Min-seo after she pulled away, "Thank you, I want you to know that... I don't want you to leave, in fact I think I might actually be terrified of it. Maybe one day I'll tell you more about it, but for now I think I might cry if I go on, can't ruin my image you know."

Terrified of losing them, that was the source and horrifying reason for her dreams. The mask slipped for a second, something colder and more afraid in Elena's eyes before she smiled again, "I'm sorry to make your birthday weird like this."

Min-seo smiled and nodded slightly. ”You’re really wise, you know? You come up with these sentences that sound like quotes from some famous artists and combine them together just...I don’t know I’m rambling again.” she said sheepishly. But she was wise. Min could be wise at times, just not like that wise. She couldn’t come up with sentences that just went with everything. She wondered how she got her wisdom. On the streets? From adults? Just random? She shook out that small 11 no 12 year old thought. Min-see hugged El, surprised that El didn’t push her away. Usually, when she wanted a hug or felt that someone needed a hug, she refrained from doing so because of one day where her brother was in a terrible mood and wanted to be left alone and pushed her away. He apologized for 3 days after that, but she still was sad. She smiled at her. El didn’t want her to leave. Really, Min thought of herself as annoying. ”Okay, just tell me when you’re ready. Also who cares about image? Crying is a normal human thing,” she said. Min-seo shook her head. ”Oh I don’t mind at all! It’s totally fine, it was hood that you told me. You seem sleep deprived. Do you want to go back to the common room?” she asked.

§

Elena blinked up owlishly, a little surprised, "Thank you, that's really nice of you to say."

"I mostly care about image, if I started talking like I used to you might get whiplash, perfectly sculpted posh accents take a lot of upkeep you see." Elena smiled jokingly, all traces of the sadness and fear had left her eyes, replaced by emotions chosen rather than felt under the surface. Elena nodded, "Sure, that sounds like a great idea. I should probably rest before I do my homework anyway. Gotta get those grades and all that jazz and nonsense."

Also Elena was looking forward to using the sparkle pens, like the ones she'd gotten for Alan. There were some blue and green ones that proclaimed themselves to be mermaid themed. Then she had to try and figure out how to make drawings using quill feathers.

Maybe next time Min was feeling down she'd pull out the cockney accent, it'd warrant a giggle at least, especially if she used slang too. The idea made her feel a little like a trained monkey, but that wasn't the issue at hand in that sort of a situation. Elena got up and stretched, then held a hand out to Min-seo.

Do you want to end it here?

Min blushed a bit at her rambling. ”Sorry,” she said sheepishly. She giggled a bit. She didn’t know that El tried rather hard to have a different accent than she actually had. She tilted her head to the side slightly. ”Maybe I can hear it sometime,” she said with a bright smile. She noticed that all of El’s sad emotions seemed to have disappeared. They probably were still there, but Min didn’t want to escalate it further. She felt bad for her still though. She nodded. ”Rest sounds amazing right now, honestly. I’m pretty tired, plus homework is stressful at the moment,” she said, stretching a bit on the couch. She was stressed, but she was glad that she got time to somewhat relax, although there were parts that brought back memories that weren’t necessarily good. She was a mess though, and she so dearly wanted to fix that. Life was stressful and sad, though it did have some very good moments. She was very excited to see her Godfather again and to hang out with her brother more. She didn’t see him often enough. She smiled at Elena’s outstretched hand and took it. What a weird birthday this had been.

Yeah I think it’s good to end it here.