14 Jan 2024, 14:47
No Distractions
They/SheGet in, get out. No distractions.
That was Pax's plan. They hadn't been to the Library for some time, and homework had been very much a back-burner priority for a long while before the start of their third year. But all they needed to do today was to return a couple of overdue books that they'd forgotten to give back before summer. That was it. Then they could go back out the field and get back to practising like they needed to be doing.
At this time of the day, the Library was quieter. Pax had decided to visit at this time purposefully, for that reason. Too much foot traffic would significantly increase the time they'd have to spend there in order just to return a few stupid books, and they were keen to get back out there as soon as they could. Time over the summer had given them space that they needed to think and reflect on everything that had gone wrong last academic year, and also how to hopefully improve. And that started with a rigorous training and fitness programme, beginning as soon as they got back to school.
Books in hand, they darted into the Library. They were on a mission, and they would get this done.Reducio
Last edited by Pax Zhang on 30 May 2025, 22:21, edited 2 times in total.
18 Jan 2024, 14:20
No Distractions
Her fourth day as a second year, and Mahlioz had already been to the library four times. Unsurprising, to be honest. And her new dorm room was already filled with books. But apparently that wasn't enough for the girl, because she was back, already wandering through the fantasy shelves, picking out the interesting-looking novels and graphic novels and comics. She probably needed something sci-fi, too. She hadn't read the Hunger Games yet, maybe she should do that.
Time: Unknown
Mentions: X
Thoughts
Her mind was too busy thinking of all the books she might need, and also about the classes and spells she'd have to learn as a second year, that it wasn't until she had a giant pile of books in her hands that she realized maybe that was enough. There were at least a dozen, all in grave danger of toppling out of her hands, and in such a tall pile that the only way that Mahlioz could see in front of her was by tilting her head over. Which would make the books topple. So she didn't.
Dang it, she really needed a table to put these down on. Curse her foolish daydreaming! Thankfully, she knew this part of the library pretty well, so unless Hogwarts was planning on messing her up like with the staircases, she would be alright enough to find a table.
Unfortunately, it seemed the school was planning on it, because she walked head-on into something strong and solid, making all of her books slide out of her hands and onto the floor. She cried out in dismay, hoping none of them had broken a spine or anything like that, before looking up and realizing it had not, in fact, been the castle playing tricks on her.
In front of her was a person, whose books had also been knocked out of their hands. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry," Mahlioz said quickly, because it was quite obviously her fault - she had been the one with the million books who wasn't looking where she was going. And now their books were in a jumble on the ground, and it was hard to tell whose was whose. "Shoot, shoot, I'm sorry," Mahlioz repeated, kneeling down to start sorting and picking the books back up again. "Let me help you get yours back."
29 Mar 2024, 12:52
No Distractions
They/She
Sorry for the delayed response!In their rush, Pax had somehow managed to walk into another person. Or that other person had walked into them. Pax preferred to believe that latter.
"God..." they sighed, rolling their eyes as they crouched down to scan through the books. It seemed that, whoever this other person was, they were definitely a bookworm. There could've been hundreds of books scattered across the ground right now, and the titles of ones that Pax were trying to return had conveniently slipped their mind. Giving up, they began to accept defeat and sank to the floor, crossing their legs as they began to shift through the books.
"Could you be a little more careful next time?" They complained, words targeted at the person they had just bumped into, however it sounded more like an open declaration to whoever was around. "Like, god forbid I have something that I need to go and get done, desperately quick, and they... just..."
Pax trailed off, realising that the words they were saying had been getting slowly louder and angrier. It was drawing attention, to them but also to the poor person who had had to suffer through their rant. As pissed off as they were, this wasn't fair on them.
"My bad," they muttered, a lot quieter now. "It's just... It's just been a long day."Reducio
19 Apr 2024, 01:22
No Distractions
What luck - the person Mahlioz had managed to bang into with her giant pile of books was in a grumpy mood. Whether it had been there before or if Mahlioz had been what brought it on, she could not blame them. She was trying her best to pick out her books from theirs, but it was proving to be difficult, given the amount there was. The other person was sitting on the floor now, joining her in the hunt, though with a scowl instead of the guilt Mahlioz was plainly wearing on her face.
Time: Unknown
Mentions: X
Thoughts
"Yes, I'm so sorry, I..." She had no excuse to give as they got more and more annoyed at her, complaning that they had much more important, urgent things to do. A knot in her throat was getting tighter and tighter, a telltale sign she was close to tears. But that wasn't fair - she was the one who'd gotten in the way, it was her fault, they had every right to be mad.
Except, thankfully before the tears threatened to actually start, the person stopped. And apologized, almost, saying it had been a long day. After making sure the tears were definitely gone for good, Mahlioz nodded. "No, that's okay, I... I get it." By now she'd managed to start a pile of the books she was sure were hers. She wanted to apologize again, because she knew how awful one more thing could be on a stressful day, but she'd said sorry so many times already that she was sure it wouldn't make a difference.
It was only then that she finally looked up at the person she'd bumped into. Accompanying the scowl were two big round glasses and... short pink hair? Mahlioz could honestly not figure out whether they were a boy or a girl or something else. Something else... like you? a little voice in her head whispered, but she pushed it away. No, no, she was a girl. But that wasn't important right now. "Er - sorry, can I ask your pronouns?" Indiscreet, maybe, especially since she hadn't asked for a name yet, but she felt like a name might be less important.
Half of the mess of books had been reorganized by now, and Mahlioz finally found a book she did not recognize. Handing it to the other kid, she asked, "This one yours?" To be honest, now that they'd stopped yelling at her and her heart had stopped hammering from guilt and stress, she was curious to know what they were so eager to get back to. But they were so annoyed, and she'd asked a lot already, and she didn't want to bother them any more than she already had. So she stayed quiet. For now.
15 Jun 2024, 01:10
No Distractions
They/She
Sorry for the delayed response!"Er - sorry, can I ask your pronouns?"
That made Pax look up, books no longer a priority. Whilst they had been using they/them pronouns for some time, it was rare that people actually asked for their pronouns rather than them having to introduce themselves and their pronouns. It was a nice change. Refreshing to see. And also made them think that this kid was not as unaware of being non-binary as many were.
"Currently, I use both they/them and she/her pronouns," Pax answered, a smile starting to form on their face. It was quite clear that this had definitely done something to assist with their mood, funnily enough. They never got to talk about this as much as they'd like to. "I prefer people to use they/them, however I don't mind if people use she/her. And honestly, I don't mind if people use he/him, now that I talk about it. But thank you for asking. Genuinely."
They finished gathering their things and went to stand up, extending a hand to help up their new friend- or so they hoped this kid would be. "I don't often get asked that question, so it always feels good when I do, you know. So, I appreciate it. If you don't mind me asking, what are your pronouns?"Reducio
29 Jul 2024, 17:24
No Distractions
As soon as the question was asked, the other kid looked up from their books. The surprise - almost shock - on their face made Mahlioz wonder if asking for pronouns was rude. She didn't know - it had never happened to her before! Maybe it was unacceptable? Maybe they were... transphobic, and would get mad at her for asking? Reltyl knew stories like that; where people pretended pronouns didn't exist. But maybe it was actually another one of those unspoken rules, that you couldn't ask?
Time: Unknown
Mentions: X
Thoughts
Thankfully, Mahlioz was happily surprised, because a smile was beginning to form on the other person's face. Why, the second year was not sure - after all, she had just lost them time and made them knock over all their books, as they had reminded her. But that fact had seemed to evade them all of a sudden, as a result of her question.
Their answer was... confusing. Both they/them and she/her, but they preferred they/them, and actually, they didn't mind he/him either. Mahlioz tried to sort through this in her brain. So... did they want she/her and he/him? Or was it just because it was easier for cis people? To keep it simple, she would continue using they/them for them, because it seemed like it was their favorite. But if they had a favorite, why add on other choices? What was she supposed to do? Choose one? Or did they want them all mixed together?
She realized then that they had stood up and were offering her a hand. She was still dizzy under the weight of all her questions, and worried that if she opened her mouth they'd all spill out at once, so she stayed silent as she got up. But she couldn't just keep them all there. She'd explode. "I'm sorry, I- I'm confused. Do you... like, if you have a preference, why do you add other choices? Why not just say they/them?" Gods, she hoped she wasn't making them angry again, that she was saying this in a way that conveyed her genuine curiosity and confusion.
At least the other person seemed a lot happier than earlier. They explained it was because they weren't asked their pronouns often, and it felt nice. At least it was confirmed that asking for them wasn't rude. That was good news. And it was also good news that Mahlioz had made their day a little better. But of course, the question had to be asked back.
She was about to open her mouth to say what she was used to saying, but paused. It hit her that she actually... didn't know? But how was that possible? Why was she only figuring it out now? "I... I don't know. I've been going by she/they, but only really using she - I don't think anyone's used they for me, that I've heard, so I don't... I don't know if I'd like it. I don't even know if I like she. I don't even know if I'm-" cis I don't know if I'm really cis what if I'm not what would that mean for me?
Mahlioz stopped, and took a breath. She didn't even know this person. She could not start breaking down and venting to them. "Sorry. Sorry I can't answer your question." She gave a sad smile. "I'm Mahlioz, by the way. What's your name?"
29 Sep 2024, 21:18
No Distractions
They/SheThe topic of gender was always a welcomed change from Pax's hyper-busy quidditch focused brain, and the poor kid (who they quickly realised they had no clue of their name, and vice versa) seemed worried about their response. That stung a little. They didn't want to be that angry person, though given their first impressions with them, it wouldn't have surprised Pax if that's what they thought.
As a torrent of questions burst from the kid, Pax chuckled slightly, nodding to a nearby empty table. "Do you wanna sit for a bit? Not unless you're in a rush or anything, but I dunno, this feels like a sit down sort of conversation."
They personally took a seat, moving their books aside, before taking a breath to consider the question properly. It hadn't been something they'd really been questioned on too much, and honestly, they hadn't really questioned it themself much either.
"I think I don't exclusively use they/them because... I mean I don't think it fits. I'm not just they/them, I guess. Sometimes I don't even know if I'm really even that connected to gender as a whole, like, to me, it is what it is. I don't really care, so I think that reflects on the pronouns I use. I don't really care, but he/him and she/her alone feel... too binary. Like it's too extreme - too 'one end of the spectrum'. I hope that makes some sense, I've never had to really explain this before."
"Hey, hey," Pax tried to comfort the kid as they seemed to get caught up in their head with the idea of considering what their gender might be. "That's perfectly fine, you have nothing to apologise for. You don't need to have everything figured out at, what, 13? 14? Nobody has their shit - ignore my language - together at that age, mate. I definitely don't, at least. If you ask me, having your shit together at this age is overrated anyway."
"Mahlioz is a really pretty name," Pax replied earnestly. "Does it have any special meaning at all, I don't think I've heard it before. Oh, and I'm Pax, by the way."Reducio
30 Dec 2024, 19:34
No Distractions
The older student suggested sitting, to which Mahlioz nodded, but then hesitated. "Are you... sure? You said you had something to get done, desperately quick... I don't want to take up your time." They did seem eager to help her, though, which was both nice and confusing. How had one question about pronouns completely flipped their whole demeanor? Two minutes ago, they had been aggressive and slightly scary (though that may have had to do with the fact that Mahlioz was scared of everything), but now they were chuckling and kind.
Time: Unknown
Mentions: X
Thoughts
Was this what teenage mood swings looked like? Mahlioz was going to turn 13 next month, and she was not looking forward to her emotions being so all over the place. Then again, weren't they already?
She listened with great interest as the student began to answer her questions. It sort of made sense, actually. He and she were too binary, but they didn't feel completely not binary either, so a bit of those sprinkled in the they/them was good. Mahlioz nodded slowly. To be honest, all this gender stuff was the most confusing thing she'd ever come across. Couldn't it just be logical? Mathy? Have actual concise, understandable answers to concise, understandable questions? "I... think that makes sense."
At her slight rant about the fact that she didn't know her own pronouns, the older kid immediately tried to reassure her. Alright, it was true that she didn't need to have her stuff together at this age (she'd have rathered not swear, even in her head - it just felt wrong). But everyone else seemed to! And what if she wanted to? How was it overrated to feel at peace and finally feel like you understand your own self? It wasn't fair. "But... pronouns are, like, important. If I don't even know which ones I want, how... how can I be on top of things at all? What am I supposed to do until I figure it out, just not use pronouns?" She needed it to be perfect before she decided to use them. She needed it to be perfect. And it wasn't perfect right now and that was so, so frustrating.
"Oh, thank you, heh. No, it doesn't have a meaning, it was a character my mom had made up way before I was born. But it's nice to meet you, Pax." Pax wasn't a name she had heard before, either. They were trans, right? If they used that many pronouns? Or was that not how it worked? And if they were trans, did that mean they chose their own name? Did all trans people have new names? If Mahlioz was, would she have to - oh gods, too many questions, their head was spinning. "Er... I finished sorting the books, I think. Sorry again for my clumsiness."I am so sorry for how long it took me to get back to you!! Things got busy and then writer's block hit, I greatly apologize :[
25 Feb 2025, 18:46
No Distractions
They/SheLooking down at their books, Pax smiled gently before returning their gaze to the individual. "Yeah, it's all good. This is an important discussion to have, after all."
As they explained, they watched the range of emotions and thoughts pass through their face, and hoped something had gotten through to the kid. They'd always considered themselves lucky to have been able to know this about themself from a younger age, and be able to save themself the struggle of growing up and feeling like something wasn't quite right. Imagining themself as a small kid feeling utterly lost and trapped by the social conventions of gender, not even having the options on the table to be able to try and see what worked, seemed... well, sad. If there was something that they could do to change this, that was worth slacking off practice for a little bit.
"Just because something is important doesn't mean you need to know how you feel about them right away. Pronouns can help with gender dysphoria, but it isn't the be all, end all. You should do whatever feels the most comfortable.
... I like to think of it like this. It's like a tree, y'know, how they shed their leaves. Just because that changes doesn't mean its a completely new tree though, does it? Pronouns are like the leaves - they can change over time, you get rid of the old ones and new ones grow, but the tree itself is still the same."
"It's great to meet you too, Mahlioz. That's a pretty sick character name. And, please, you don't need to apologise. I owe you an apology if anything, for snapping at you. That was pretty rude of me, so I'm sorry. I... It's just been a bit of a rough time recently."
They took the books, standing again, but now with a smile on their face for Mahlioz to see. "I ought to get these books back, heh, but I hope that this helped in some way. If you have any more questions, I'd be happy to answer them, or if there's anything else I can do to help out at all, just let me know."Sorry for such a late response! Writer's block got to me- I think it comes to quite a nice conclusion after this, so if you want you can post once more, or we can just end it here
Reducio
29 May 2025, 20:10
No Distractions
Mahlioz had always seen pronouns as something to make other people comfortable. Well, she understood that trans people changed them because they were uncomfortable, but the whole concept of pronouns to her had always seemed like it was for others. They were third-person pronouns, after all - you didn't use them, other people did. So she used she/they to convey to people that she was a girl, at least a little bit. (As much as she was wondering about that now). And it was for others. To make them comfortable with her binary gender, so they knew what they were dealing with.
Time: Unknown
Mentions: X
Thoughts
But Pax was saying to do whatever made her most comfortable, and it shocked her that she hadn't realized that yet. They were her pronouns. They were up to her and no one else, and it didn't matter to conform to other people's comforts because they were hers. On top of that, the tree allegory was eye-opening. The second year couldn't stop nodding. "That makes so much sense, actually. I was worried that... it would annoy people, if I change them, and especially more than once. But I get what you're saying. I understand now."
"That's okay, I understand," she added to Pax's apology. To be fair, they were both teenagers: mood swings were common. "And thank you, thank you so much. This helped a lot." Mahlioz, too, needed to go check out her books. With one more nod of thanks to Pax as they left, she picked up her books, thoughts as heavy on her mind as the tomes were in her arms. But the weight on her shoulders had lifted.well this may be my new high score for how long it took me to reply, sorries! at least it's over now T-T thanks for the thread!! ooh and also if you could tag the thread as finished that would be awesome :] that way it won't be closed in three months for no reason lolol