Bad Advice

Smash your iPad with a baseball bat and you won't need to charge it anymore!

I want to break up with my S/O because they smell too strongly of Cheez-Its. How do I do it?

Yell loudly in the halls "YOU SMELL LIKE CHEEZE-ITS."

I need to make money for a drawing tablet; what should I do?

1. Steal a drawing tablet
2. Sell said drawing tablet
3. Now you’ll find you’ve got the exact amount needed to buy yourself a drawing tablet!

I’ve forgotten to organize a surprise party for my best friend.

Step 1: Tell your friend there a surprise party
Step 2: Tell him where the party is located
Step 3: Don't turn up
Step 4: Profit by being the best friend

I need help dumping a body what do I do?

Police are here to serve us, ask one of them for help, I'm sure they'll be more than happy to :^)

My Minecraft girlfriend is leaving me for someone with more diamonds, what do I do?

Sell her for diamonds, maybe she'll come back.

I'm told I can be a bit cold with others, how do I change that?

Ignore the person who told you this! They don’t know anything.

I can never get to sleep

Stay up very late at night, then you're bound to sleep the entire day!

Someone is stealing my art, what do I do?

Tape them onto a canvas. They can't steal your art if they are your art.

I have a song stuck in my head, how do I get it out?

trap yourself in an empty room wearing earbuds and listen to the sounds 100 times over. it'll help, trust me.

My cat keeps scratching my arms and it's beginning to get painful. how do I get her to quit?