Fostering Silence pv emma Closed

Today had been a phenomenal day, and the Ravenclaw wasn't ready to let it disappear. As if she had consumed liquid luck, the day seemed to go in her favor without any negativity. There was not a groggy bone in her body as she wandered down to the grounds for some fresh air. It hadn't appeared during class, not even at the first crack of dawn. Her pace had decreased exceptionally, causing her steps to be almost silent. She took her time as she shuffled down the stairs, forcing a smile and waving at her class companions as she cruised past them. They were only her friends during certain classes, she didn't entirely understand but she took her mind off of it. It was a magnificent day and one simplistic thought wasn't going to ruin it, especially not something as absurd as a friend, as offensive as it may have sound. With her hands inside swinging uncontrollably by her side, she looked around the grounds, trying her best to find a distraction. There was nothing. Nothing but the grass that swayed to the breeze.

A graphic image of Potions had resurfaced her memory. The Ravenclaw wasn't the most skilled at potions, especially since it required repugnant and horrid organs. Teeth and tentacles were just a few to name. Using the ingredients were just as worst as harvesting them. It was so much easier to remember the small things that occurred in class. She felt astonishingly proud of the transparent flask bouncing around in her bag, she was unquestionably going to be using it for the forthcoming night. 

Sauntering throughout the grounds, Emma looked towards the Quidditch Pitch and snickered softly to herself, the smile lingering for a few seconds. She couldn't wait to step inside of it for the first time to watch, or even play, at a competition.

Only encouraging thoughts rammed her mind, it was arduous for her to imagine anything negative. Her year had been quite alright as far as grades went, but that's where it stopped. She had managed to sustain her academic average throughout the year and even made a new friend that was sure to stay in her life. She received detention twice this year and it was only a while before she received a howler from her father, or worse, her grandfather. For dear life, she prayed it wasn't true and it wasn't going to happen, but that was her behavior talking, not Emma. The brunette's emotions had always gotten the best of her from birth to the present. She had no idea how to control them before they got out of hand, but it wasn't that big of a deal. Not now, at least.

Withdrawing her eyes from the Pitch, the Ravenclaw continued to walk around. Wearing a white blouse and a comparable pair of running shoes, her head bounced around, glancing in every direction. It was strange how something as simple as a beautiful walk opened her eyes. The walk was relaxing, and candidly a bit boring, but anything beat reading a novel in her dormitory. It was far too early to begin reading anyway. Her body decreased with each step she took until she hit the bottom and began walking on flat land once again. Observing enchanting and nonmagical creatures traverse the campus was pleasant, though she was a bit disturbed when they scampered away from her as she neared their location. She couldn't blame them considering they were mere creatures following their instincts. 

Soon, her feet began to automatically thrust rocks into the air, her eyes observing them crash and bounce off the terrain. She followed the penny-sized rock like a dog to a bone, though without the energy. There was nothing much she could do but sit and relax, and though she had no problem doing that, spending her time wandering about wasn't the best. Besides, she didn't want to come off as lonely, even though she was tired of being by herself. Sighing with a small smile, her steps continued its normal path and quieted down.

"Alexx?" Emma's voice sounded as she called out to the female with familiar blonde hair. She was perplexed, but even that was an understatement. Already she had so many questions for her, but judging by her facial expression, it wasn't the best time to be pestering her with questions. Her pace immediately sped up, a worried look on her face. Coming to a halt, she scanned for any other students. Unquestionably none, but that was a good thing.

She had never seen Alexx like this before, and she had witnessed the blonde punch a fellow second-year student. There was absolutely nothing this girl couldn't handle, but her expression said otherwise. It was a mix between sympathy and worry on her face, both features apparent. Her lips were upturned to create a sorrowful smile and her eyebrows were raised as she let out a sigh. She didn't need her endorsement to sit down. Her voice was light before it stiffened a bit at her last question.  "Alexx, what's wrong? Who did it?" Placing her bag behind her, she looked into Alexx's eyes, though it was a bit laborious herself to stop moisture in her eyes from developing. Mentally wincing as these questions left her mouth, she corrected herself. "Sorry, but um... what's wrong?" Without knowing the problem, the brunette was ready to help at any costs. It didn't matter, but if it brought tears to her eyes, it was much more important than her day. One tear spoke a million words, but she didn't mind. Emma was ready for anything Alexx hit her with.

It was true that Alexx could crack from time to time. When those emotions made their way past the seams of her being, it proved to be disastrous. The young girl found the weight of the world resting upon her shoulders, which proved to be very narrow and without much muscle. Her pride wouldn't allow her to crumble, and her ambition wouldn't allow her to stop. Instead, she let it build and eat at her, even when her arms and knees trembled and her neck rested a certain way that hurt. She took on more, even, because that is the type of person that Alexx is. She craved the acceptance that she sometimes wouldn't receive, and wanted badly to make up for the areas she lacked. It was a bad habit, because people took advantage of her easily. It added to that weight that was going to cause her back to give out and arms to break.

Undecided on whether she should be upset that someone found her or relieve that it was someone who wouldn't judge her for her breaking, she turned to the girl who called out to her. If it were anyone else, she might have attempted to fake a smile and pretend like she was experiencing a bout with allergies, but Emma would have seen right through that lie. There was no point in making something up now, because it would come back to bit her in the end. Instead, she plotted out the best way to tell her the truth.

Nudging her cheek with her arm, she pushed away another clear drop that paraded its way down her porcelain colored skin for all to see. It was pesky and annoying, and she despised the fact that she had no control over this anymore. It was hardly her fault, and she knew this because the reason she was crying was for situations that others dropped at her feet the way a cat did a dead bird to its owner. It was a guilt that shamed her at no fault of her own, and it was something she could not control under any circumstances. It also was not for a lack of trying, because she was the argumentative type, and she let the words flow like a waterfall from her, but it was to no avail. Those with harsh intentions would stop at nothing to break her down a beat her. For what reason, she knew not. Perhaps there was none.

Emma would understand her problem with Aurelia. It was partially at the fault of her that Emma was even in the situation she was when it came to the Gryffindor. Had Emma not been there when Alexx needed someone to defend her, then the relationship between the three of them might not have been the way it was today. However, it wasn't Aurelia being a bad person that Alexx was beating herself up over. It was the fact that she was yet again a victim to the "words of wisdom" of Aurelia. But this time, it wasn't just her. On a very separate occasion, another girl, a first year Gryffindor named Imani, had also attacked Alexx verbally. How is it that someone who help power over her peers was capable of letting their words burn her; singe her blonde hair and leave grey-stained marks on the tips of her fingers? How was that so? She had no answer to this question, and hoped she would never have to ask it again.

Staring was doing her no good. Her silence would solve none of her issues, nor would it make her feel any better. The back of her throat all the way up to the back of her head burned with the sensation of choking on her own words, wanting desperately for a release. She had so much she wanted to say, yet the explanation was caught just behind her tonsils, not quite reaching her tongue. "Everything. Everything is the matter." This was all that she could force out of her.

This was not her proudest moment, and probably for many of reasons. It was shameful to allow herself to break down like this in front of someone who should probably think her strong, but the circumstance could not be helped. If she turned Emma away, she probably would have lost another friend, or would otherwise have to explain herself later on. Neither of which she would be prepared for once she had calmed down. It was easier to just get this out of the way for now, and trust that Emma would not tell another soul. After all, she came to her rescue. It seemed that Emma Hill was always saving Alexx from her demons. Perhaps Alexx was more fragile than what she led on.

It was mere intrusiveness that made Emma want to know the things or people that could break Alexx down. Whether it had been being nosy or being a friend, curiosity propelled her to seek for everything, no matter what the situation or who the person was. Letting out an inaudible sigh that was similar to her routine breath, she put her hands in her lap and gazed down at her reflection staring right back at her in the Great Lake before returning her eyes to Alexx with a small, yet apprehensive smile that somewhat upturned the corners of her lips. Avoiding every question that darted and leaped into her mind, she put her focus on statements, for now. While a dramatic response was the least of her problems, it was one that could put an end to all of her questions that burdened her mind. Before verbalizing her thoughts, she stopped herself, reluctant of the reactions that awaited her.

Feeling a bit guilty about her current situation, the constrained smile disappeared quickly, unwilling to back up the lie formed on her face. Not even numbers or words could express the distinctions between their days. The emotional, intimate, and school-related questionings never seemed to wither away. Emma knew, not just one or two students from Hogwarts could cause her to break down. Breaking the Gryff's nose at a young age put a solid foundation of Alexx in her subconscious. From time to time, she found her eyes off of Alexx. She couldn't bear to look at her this way. It wasn't repugnance, nor hastiness; it was simply caution and vulnerability. In her presence (or anyone else), crying was something she loathed, but doing so just seemed remarkably simple. Mourning in public was something she could never do, well, allowing herself to. 

Everything. The Ravenclaw couldn't judge, nor see herself in a distinctive position. The drama by herself and Aurelia, the students in the library, and of course, the Blossom Ball seemed to be getting out of hand as time went on and on. Though, she had to admit most of the quarrels between the two were prompted by the brunette herself. There was unquestionably no end to it. While the staff's event ideas had become broader and much more creative, drama continued to climb, advancing to distinct levels, breaking and over exceeding the bar.

"Look Alexx," she began in a soothing voice, but it seemed to evaporate gradually as she went on. "You don't have to tell me what's going on at your house, but if something's happening here - at Hogwarts - I've got to know." Her words weren't in the form of a question, nor a command. With a compassionate, delicate voice she tried her best not to make her words seem offensive or even hastened. This was not how she ordinarily spoke. Instead of rushing to conclude her remarks, she pacified her body, stopping all of her fidgetings, and spoke as slowly as she possibly could. 

"I don't have the right to tell you everything's going to be okay. It's probably going to get worse, actually. My point is why are you letting it bother you?" She asked softly, internally wincing as the question seemed to flow naturally. Her hands found its way to the Lake, watching as the water she picked up flowed back down to its base, much faster than the flow of Alexx's tears. She wasn't that sad, at least she expected so; her tears weren't falling as fast as the current of the river.

Flicking the moisture off of her hand, her eyes remained the lake, watching the little ripples created from the drops. While zen and meditation were both beneficial for relieving stress, it was only temporary relief and Aurelia surely confirmed this fact to be correct. Truly, the only way to forget about it was to use magic and that was not a convenient option. She wasn't going to let yet another student begin to consume the addictive elixir, as long as she could help it. Besides, she didn't think Alexx was actually considering the choice, though it did panic her a bit to reveal the truth. Why on earth was the potion continuing to pop up around the school? There was no commotion about it when they had all learned it in their first year at Hogwarts, however now, things had changed and not particularly for the better.