How Far I'll Go PV Closed

Cleo smiled to herself as she reached the entrance to the library. She’s wasn’t usually a very reflective person, but in that moment she was lost is thoughts and memories. She had grown up a lot since coming to Hogwarts. She still had the same gangly build and messy, brown hair that she had recently tried to cut herself (not that it had turned out too well), but Cleo liked to think that there a was a maturity inside of her that hadn’t been there before.

Her life had been mostly normal before she came to Hogwarts. When change had hit her over the head and turned her life upside down, she didn’t give up on adapting to her new life, didn’t give up on pursuing the new Cleo. Okay, so she was a Gryffindor, but that didn’t mean she was born brave. In fact, this was one of the things Cleo had hoped to bring up with Ruby and hopefully a teacher they might see today. Although it had been Ruby’s original opinion, Cleo also believed that people were judged and stereotyped too much by what house they were put in. However, in Cleo’s mind there were priorities, and in her opinion, there were much more important things than small changes in the way wizards and witches think of each other. This thought did make Cleo feel slightly guilty, because she was basically undermining Ruby’s problems. She would never say anything out loud, of course, and slightly pitied the girl for how she may have been treated in the past in order to bring up this problem. In Cleo’s eyes, however, it was rather difficult to pity someone who was so polished and together, but she new that nobody was perfect on the inside, and that’s what counts.

Cleo looked around the library for Ruby, checking her watch after she did so. She winced slightly when she saw the time. She was ten minutes late. It always took her longer than she intended to get anywhere in Hogwarts. Oh well, she couldn’t change her tardiness, better just to find Ruby and not make herself any later.

When she caught sight of Ruby leaning against the back of her chair and looking like she was thinking deeply, Cleo internally confirmed the theory that Ruby was a lot more on the inside than she portrayed on the outside. Cleo could vaguely hear the tune the other girl was humming, and halted for a moment, in shock that it was something she not only recognised, but knew well. The song was from ‘Moana’, one of Cleo’s all time favourite Disney movies. It was about a girl who felt an affinity with the ocean, which Cleo could relate to, as she’d lived by the ocean for most of her life. She often found herself missing the rush of waves, and remembered how nice it had been to familiarise herself again with the beaches where she’d taken her first steps as a child when she was at home for Christmas. The landscape around hogwarts was beautiful, of course, but it would never be home to her.

As Cleo came closer to the other, seemingly oblivious girl, she hastily ran her fingers through her unbrushed hair in case a teacher was already there and out of sight. Cleo hated to admit it, but she had a lot of work to do before she could become a hairdresser. Uneven strands framed her face, giving it a slightly tilted look, and making her look a little younger than she was. It doesn’t matter, she told herself, it’s people’s own fault if they judge you before knowing anything about your personality.

With that, Cleo walked forwards until she was about a meter in front of Ruby. She saw the slightly messy list in front of the girl and admired  her motivation as Cleo too took a seat.

“Hi.” Cleo greeted. “I’m so sorry I’m late, I always underestimate the size of this castle. That list looks great. Are we meeting someone here? I feel bad about you doing that list all by yourself, can I help with it?” She babbled. “It’s good to see you though. I didn’t know you knew Moana, it’s one of my favourite Disney movies.”

Hjørdis disliked being in the library during the daytime. Simply because there were far too many little children around, being irritating. She was not a very 'child friendly' person. Mostly because the children that she had met here seemed to be very keen on getting into trouble, fights and mischief. It was a pain, if nothing else. The Slytherin Professor much preferred to take books out and read them after curfew, when all of the children were asleep. Sadly, there were times that the librarian needed some help or had to pop out for a little while. During those times, Hjørdis opted to help. She found it much easier to be on 'Library' duty than other areas, which were full of noisy children. At least here, people were quieter - mostly because they were forced to talk at a normal volume. Students rarely started to throw spells around in the middle of books, which was much nicer.

If there was anything she liked, it was a bit of peace and quiet. The silver haired Professor sat in the library, close to the counter where students could come to take books out. She was replacing the Librarian for about another two hours. In this time, she would sign the books out for the students. In the silence, she could hear someone lightly humming something. Hjørdis had no idea where it came from, she could barely hear it. But for some reason, it sounded like a muggle Disney movie that she knew of. Perhaps she was imagining it. It was a good song though, one that she sometimes sang when she was alone. But that was neither here nor there.

The Professor glanced down at the book in front of her. Whilst she was watching over the Library, taking over the role of checking books out, she had a few books scattered on the table. She was using this time to catch up on some reading. In fact, she spent a lot of her spare time reading. If nothing else, this job gave her a lot of time to actually educate herself. Today's book was all about Herbology. Or more specifically, about different plants that were effective in healing medication or potions. Every so often, the Slytherin Head of House would pick up her quill and jot down some notes in very neat italics onto another book that she had open in front of her. This thick book contained a bunch of parchment, and a lot of her own writings.

With children getting hurt left, right and centre in this school, it made sense to her to brush up on her healing knowledge. Perhaps reading over the basics again would help spark some ideas. Hjørdis definitely wanted to work on creating some advanced healing potions and pastes. If she could, she would give all of the students here one to keep on hand. They somehow faced so much trouble. She had no idea how this school invited so much danger but it bothered her. A lot of it was the students' own stupidities - such as getting into fights. However, on occasion, it seemed to be out of their control and that was when Hjørdis was concerned.

Hjørdis sat quietly, studying her own books whilst she waited for students to approach her to take out any books they wanted to take out. She would glance up every so often, looking around the room to make sure no one was doing anything they should not be doing. For example, trying to sneak into the restricted section, which she could easily see from where she sat. They had to literally pass her to get to it. And luckily for her, most students seemed to find her cold emotionless expression scary. If this prevented them from trying to sneak past her, she was okay with that.

Thankfully, Ruby hadn't been humming loudly, and she had stopped several moments before Cleo had said anything. The Slytherin had heard the footsteps as her friend had approached, and hadn't bothered to turn her head. She recognized people's footsteps, if she was around them enough, and although the girls had only had two main interactions on their own time prior to this, they were still in classes together and had seen each other around. Cleo was, by now, important enough to be specially noticed by Ruby, and that meant that her footsteps and the sound of her voice were recognizable. “Hello, Cleo,” she had said before the Gryffindor had entered the space where she could be seen.

At that point, Cleo walked into Ruby's line of vision, and sat down, greeting her and then saying quite a lot of things at once. Luckily, the Slytherin also did this occasionally, when she would ask a lot of questions in a short amount of time, and so she understood her friend well enough. She laughed. “It’s okay, you aren’t too late. I’m almost always early, anyway, so I’m used to waiting for people.” When Cleo asked about the list, Ruby slid it across the table in one swift movement so it stopped right in front of the other girl. “Add anything you want, these were just the ideas that I could think of off of the top of my head,” she explained. While the Gryffindor was probably reading over the list, Ruby continued speaking. “It’s good to see you too, and I watched Moana once, but that song just came to mind... Anyway, no, we aren’t meeting anyone here, but I've had a look around, and Professor Jensen – the Head of House for Slytherin – is over there.” She paused and made a brief, subtle gesture at the woman sitting and reading in a place just at the edge of their sight. “I reckon we could probably talk to her, if you wanted.”

Ruby waited for a reply. Cleo would probably say yes, wouldn’t she? After all, one of their main purposes in meeting today was to find a professor and ask them questions. So what if Professor Jensen sometimes came across as cold and a little bit scary? Ruby had faith that her Head of House was a good person. Perhaps others were scared of her because she was somewhat strict, but the first year didn't really know why. Was it the piercing gaze she seemed to command? Ruby sometimes had one of her own. Whatever made people shy away, it didn't affect Ruby, and the young girl didn't have enough to judge her by – positively or negatively. She certainly wasn’t going to let students’ gossip get in the way of reason and becoming closer to reaching her goal. She had questions, and she needed them answered. Professor Jensen was just the nearest and currently most suitable candidate to be on the receiving end of these inquiries. It was as simple as that. With that conclusion reached, Ruby decided that there was no real point in asking Cleo whether or not to approach the professor.

“Allow me to rephrase that... I think we should talk to her, and I’m going to go do that – you can join me if you wish. After all, we basically came here for this. Here’s our chance, so let’s take it.” With that, Ruby stood up, sliding out of her chair. She took a second to make sure that her robes and hair were still impeccably clean and perfectly in place – which they were – as she had not properly interacted with the professor before, and she knew the importance of first impressions. After that, she made her way over, moving in her normal way – which was smoothly, silently, and with a certain grace and elegance (probably coming from her upbringing and having to look her best all the time). Her posture was perfect, as her back was straight, unlike many other kids’ these days. The way she moved and stood gave her an air of confidence, intelligence, and something else – maybe ambition, determination, passion, power, or all four.

“Excuse me, Professor?” Ruby began politely. “I'm sorry to interrupt your reading, but my friend and I have some questions that we were wondering if you could answer…”

Cleo frowned when Ruby said that she was used to waiting for people. It was an unfortunate truth that made Cleo pity Ruby- many people were often tardy, and waiting around just to spend time with them portrayed Ruby as a very patient person. Smothering her thoughts with curiosity, Cleo read the list in front of her. It was surprising how much Ruby had done in such a short time, but then again, because it was Ruby, it wasn’t.

“I agree. We should go and talk to her. It’s easy, and the school is so big it’d probably take us half and hour to find anyone else anyway.” Cleo had never really interacted with the professor before, and firmly believed that one should not judge somebody by their appearance, so prepared herself to meet someone new. Whilst doing so, she followed Ruby. She liked that the other girl wasn’t looking for reassurance or company, and that she would do what she needed with or without Cleo. They were friends, sure, but being alone a lot of the time whilst growing up had made Cleo admire the same independance she would like to think she had in others.

Cleo had not missed the quick brush down Ruby did to herself before approaching the teacher. This was a place where the two girls differed. Cleo cared a lot about what people thought of her, but none of it based on her looks. She had never worn a drop of makeup in her life and had never wanted to. Cleo believed that Ruby was actually the other way around in her beliefs. It seemed to Cleo that she cared about her image, with the way she stood and walked and the clothes she wore, but that she was not particularly interested if people liked her or not- they could think whatever they wanted on that front.  It didn’t bother Cleo that Ruby might have thought this way- she had accepted a long time ago that every single person was different and therefore could not understand everything about another human. This was a factor in Cleo’s beliefs in independance because, although friends were great, there was nobody who could understand you more than yourself.

When Ruby paused in her speech to Professor Jensen, Cleo jumped in. She didn’t mean to come across as disrespectful- she was just passionate about what was being said. “Well, you see, we were wondering why wizards have never helped to solve universal problems, or if they have and it’s just not been publicised. I don’t know if you’d consider these muggle issues, and if helping to solve them would therefore violate the Statue Of Secrecy, but my point is that these issues effect everybody. In the world right now the oceans are dying and the planet is heating up. Sure, it might be mostly muggles that are causing this, but they deserve help. We’re all human, and- not that it should effect anything- but these problems effect us too. We are powerful, we have magic on our side, and there are so many spells that could be used to help these problems. Great wizards are out there, capable of controlling the weather and producing water, so surely there’s something we can do? I bet Hogwarts has been getting less and less snow each year and as far as I know, the Ministry of Magic hasn’t even tried to start any kind of help for this, or for anything... have they? Will they wait until things get worse to make things better?... I’m very sorry if I’m overwhelming you, Professor, and it might not be my place, but have you ever heard of any kind of action against global warming or plastic in the oceans or any kind of suffering in the muggle world by wizards?” Cleo said the last few words softly, hoping against hope that she hadn’t been too accusatory.   

Hjørdis could see some figures approaching her desk from the corner of her eyes as she continued to gaze at the book. It was not until she heard a voice, clearly addressing her, that she looked up and acknowledged them. Two young girls had appeared. She recognised one, having seen her around the Slytherin Common Room and at meals. The head of house might have looked cold and uncaring but she did take the time to remember the names of the students within her own house, at the very least.

She nodded as the Slytherin student spoke, "Of course, Miss Cazares and Miss...," Hjørdis replied looking over at the other student that she did not recognise. She paused a moment, to allow the student to give her name. Hjørdis had to note how polite Ruby was, it pleased her. In fact, she did not mind the interruption at all when the students were that polite. It was usually rather pleasant to engage in a conversation with respectful students.

The Gryffindor student quickly followed up the conversation with a rather long ramble about world problems, it seemed. Hjørdis said nothing but gazed at her as she spoke. If nothing else, she was clearly passionate about the topic. In silence, the head of house listened to each and every word of the explanation. The student did not seem to pause to breath even. She went on for a while. Questions were fired at her before she could even answer them. The Gryffindor started to speak softly, ending her long ramble.

Hjørdis paused for a moment, taking all of it in. Quietly, she lifted her hand and motioned towards the spare seats around the table, "My, that was quite the speech..." The Slytherin Professor said softly, encouraging them to slow down a little and take a breath with her soft actions and soft voice, "Perhaps you both ought to sit first." She gave them a few moments, allowing them time to seat themselves if they wished to do so. Reaching for the book she had been reading, Hjørdis tucked the bookmark on the open page before shutting the book and moving it towards the side.

"What makes you think that muggles caused these issues and that they are not our problem? What makes you believe that the Ministry isn't working through the muggle governments or organisations?What makes you think that magic can solve everything?" Hjørdis asked the students some questions herself. She did not expect an answer but rather, she wanted to inspire them to think more. There was no reason that these issues were exclusive to muggles, nor was there conclusive proof that they had been caused by the muggles. The wizarding community lived among muggles throughout the world. They too were just as responsible for the planet.

The Head of Slytherin paused before continuing, "What do you think should happen?" The female was more curious to see what they wanted out of this situation than to spoon feed them her own thoughts on the matter. Hjørdis personally found politics and news rather interesting. In fact, she read a variety of newspapers every day. One of the first things she did after being appointed as Head of House was actually read through old school newspapers and house papers, printed by the students. It was always interesting to see what had happened in the school, especially when the papers were written by the students themselves. What they covered in their newspapers was clearly the things that they deemed important. It was the thought process behind these things that she liked to understand. From what she had seen on climate change, there was various organisations and people trying to spread the issue. Things appeared to be slowly changing.

A few years back, the UK government started to reduce the use of single use plastic by introducing a charge for plastic bags. Shoppers were encouraged to invest in reusable bags made out of cloth or other materials, or avoid using plastic bags. Whilst not everyone did it, the charge definitely reduced the number of plastic bags being wasted. The step was small but it had certainly made a difference.

She was fully aware that she had not answered the questions that the students had asked. However, she was not here to answer them. She was here to inspire them to think outside the box and find their own answers.

~ * ~

Ruby was pleased to hear Cleo's footsteps follow as she went to talk to Professor Jensen. She listened as the Gryffindor spoke about some of the items on the list. Although Cleo clearly seemed passionate about it, Ruby privately thought that it could have been worded a little bit better. The way that she would have said it would have been different, as Cleo seemed to think that the problems only applied to Muggles and that wizards weren't doing anything, which Ruby doubted was entirely the case. The Gryffindor had rambled a bit – which could be okay sometimes – but Ruby wondered if it was less effective at reaching the stuff at the heart of the matter. Had Cleo even stopped to breathe?

Professor Jensen offered them a seat and put her book down, showing that the students had at least grabbed her attention. Ruby sat down, glancing at Cleo to see if she would join her. When the Head of House asked questions of her own to help them think, Ruby's brain instantly provided her with ideas and replies. Although she felt like she wasn't meant to answer, she also wanted to clarify that she herself didn't think those things. She knew it would bother her if she didn't end up saying something, so she reluctantly answered, “I don't think that that is the case, but I believe that more could be done about it. Not enough changes are being made, and the world's running out of time.” Her voice was soft but easily able to be heard, and she hoped that she sounded polite enough.

There was barely a moment of pause, and then a new question was asked. "What do you think should happen?" Ruby had figured that a question like that would have come up at some point, but she hadn't really prepared an answer. What did they think should happen? Well… people needed to be more aware, for starters. There should be some kind of magical movement, something that showed progress and something that was actively trying to do stuff about the problems, making moves to fix them or at least get them publicized to the point where people had to notice and act on it. Magic could surely be used to fix some things, even if it only acted as a temporary crutch until the problem could be properly solved by technology. Even that would buy them more time, though, which would be good. It was also true that some things were currently being done, but Ruby really feared that it wasn't enough. If people could just take their politics and arguments out of this and actually work together, then perhaps more would be getting done or it would be easier. Sadly, human nature was a factor in this.

There were definitely things being done – that much couldn't be denied – but it was painstakingly slow. More needed to happen, and quickly. “It needs to be publicized even more. People need to realize the grave danger and the extent of the possible consequences if we don't do anything. Humans have been destroying the world for too long, thinking that there will always be more growth and stuff to cover them. That isn't going to be the case forever. Some of the damage is irrevocable. The environment is suffering from the consequences of our actions, and we need to do something about it. There's surely something that magic can do to help. It won't solve everything, but I believe that its boundaries haven't come anywhere near to being pushed. There's so much more that we could do that's not being done. Something has to happen. The measures that have currently been taken do help, but it's too slow. Can't we push our personal capabilities to their limits – to see what we can do with magic and with our minds? Can't we unite people and work together to make a difference?” Her piercing blue eyes glittered with some resemblance of passion as she spoke, and there was a determination in her tone that showed that she wasn't just going to let this go – that this wasn't a silly child's game.

~ * ~

As Professor Jensen spoke, Cleo realised several things at once. The first, was that the two young girls weren’t nessecarily going to get their questions answered in this session- instead, they would have a chance to hone and expand upon their beliefs. The second, was that they had definitely not communicated enough. They had been very vague so far about what they wanted, and Cleo was not sure if they both had the same goals. Well, she thought, if ever, now was the time to exapand their ideas.

“Miss Cabello, Cleo Cabello.” Cleo said when the professor left a gap for her to fill with her name. She gratefully sat when seats were offered and mulled over Ruby’s words in her head. She privately thought that Ruby’s demeanour had changed quite a bit since they had included an adult and member or staff into their ideas. If possible, the other girl seemed even more careful about what she said. Ruby was an intriguing person, all right, but Cleo had very little knowledge about what actually went on in her head. It bothered her, and could be a serious problem as their relationship developed.

Then again, Cleo knew exactly what Ruby was thinking as she spoke this time around. She could see the fiery flames of passion in her eyes, but Cleo also thought that some more specification was a nessecary; because even the best of biggest ideas need to be broken down.

“Okay,” Cleo started hesitantly. “Let’s pick an issue, say, plastic in the oceans. All the plastic ever made still exists, and the root of the issue is that, one, plastic doesn’t biodegrade and two, humans are making way too much. I didn’t grow up in the magical community, but I’m guessing that they still use plastic in their toys and to wrap food. They must either get it from muggle factories or use magic to duplicate or create it, right?” She looked at Professor Jensen and Ruby for clarification. “I know that vanishing spells exist, so that’s a solution to start to regulate the amount in the oceans. There are a lot of talented witches and wizards in the world who create their own spells, so that’s a solution too... I suppose that just getting rid of the plastic wouldn’t solve the problem, but if done at a sustainable level and often, then it would regulate it. Somebody once told me that you can’t push your problems to the side and that a true solution is a rare thing to come across. I think a solution to this particular problem is not yet possible for us to achieve, but a compromise is worth the effort.” 

When Professor Jensen asked “What makes you think that muggles caused these issues and that they are not our problem?” Cleo halted her train of thought. What if the Ministry of Magic was trying to help? What if they had kept it a secret because of the uproar it would have caused if all the magical populace had known? Every government had its web of classified information, and it would be that much easier to keep specific facts away from the public when you had magic on your side. 

“We can’t be sure that no wizard or witch is trying to help one of the global issues, in fact, a lot of them probably are. However, if the Minitry of Magic is not trying any of the possible methods in order to improve the future generations’ living quality then we can at least try. If an effort already is underway then our input probably won’t change anything. However, in my opinion, it’s always better to try than do nothing.” 

Cleo was interrupted by a screeching noise as an owl flew into the room. It soared gracefully over the bookshelves and dug its talons into the librarian desk as it landed in front of her. It blinked up at ceiling and thrust its moved its leg, where a scroll of lined muggle paper was tightly tied. Cleo recognised the owl as her mother’s and gently stroked its feathered head before untying the scroll.

“I’m sorry, I really don’t know what she’s doing here, but it must be important so do you mind it I read the letter now?” She asked the others sitting around the desk.

She quickly unraveled the scroll and leaned forwards over the desk to read its contents. Her hair fell forwards to frame her face but it wasn’t enough to hide how pale she’d become. 

My dear Cleo,

Your mother would probably not wish for me to tell you this, but I have always stood by my morals and I shall continue to do so now. As you know, I only found out about your current destination and everything that comes along with it at the beginning of the school year. I admit I may have over exaggerated but you cannot blame me for being shocked. I love you, and I loved your mother, however, it is my responsibility to tell you that your mother has been missing for several days. I’m sorry that it took me a while to approach this creature for help, but I really did not know how to contact you. Do they not have telephones in that place? Now, however, the magical government has been informed of the situation and hopefully they’ll be efficient. Sweetheart, I think it would be best if you would come home. I’ve done some limited research  and the happenings in that school are not only strange, but have also been dangerous. I have faith in your mother, but things are uncertain right now and I think we would be best together.
Love
Dad 

Cleo could only imagine what everyone would say, but  she knew what she had to do and it didn’t matter to her then. She let the letter slide across the table where it would be visible to all and ran from the room all the way to Gryffindor tower. As she climbed the stairs, she thought about what would go down in the headmasters office that evening, and whether she would ever see the two people she’d just left at the librarians desk again. 

Hjørdis nodded as the young Slytherin spoke passionately about the world running out of time. For someone so young, it was really refreshing to see the pair care. A lot of people did not seem affected by the world - even those who were old enough and wise enough to know better. Perhaps that was where the strength of the youth lay. In the fact that they could see things from a fresh perspective and learn off the mistakes made by their elders, who were set in their ways. She was partially intrigued to know how or why they got involved in this. Perhaps it was their upbringing and their parents or something they had heard or read. But either way, it was nice.

The students both fell into thought as she prompted them with simple questions. They had not thought about it much before, it seemed but this was a good opportunity for them to do so now. The first to speak this time was the young Slytherin who proposed the idea of a movement, working to raise awareness of the issue and to find likeminded individuals that wanted to make a difference in the world. Hjørdis allowed her to finished before quirking an eyebrow at her questions. They could only be rhetorical, surely. Nonetheless, the Head of House replied, "I don't know... can you?" She asked them. She saw absolutely no reason as to why they could not start this movement themselves. The strength of a movement was affected by the numbers of supporters it had. Whilst they were currently limited to the school, there was absolutely no reason why the movement that Ruby was seeking could not start here.

Turning to face Miss Cabello, she paused to listen to the example that she presented. In truth, Hjørdis did not actually think they used as much plastic as she might have believed them to. Of course, they did used it at times. But from what she had seen, the majority of households opted for other materials - such as wood, copper, pewter. Then again, she had spent a lot of time surrounded by metal cauldrons and wooden chess sets. The Head of Slytherin did not have the same luxuries as her magical cousins or relatives. She grew up with her muggle grandparents and her view of life was shaped largely around that experience. Hjørdis had no idea what magical children these days played with. She grew up with muggle toys and a ton of books. She nodded, "If the Ministry was doing something, do you then think they should be more public about their efforts?" She asked, wondering if that was what the young lion had intended by her words. She had not quite said it but she ventured around that idea. It would certainly lend favour to the idea of raising awareness, after all.

"What are you doing to promote this cause or protect it?" Hjørdis asked the pair, wondering if they were actually doing anything already. It was not meant in an accusatory way. She was not suggesting they were not doing enough but rather, was merely curious at what stage they were with this plan. She had no idea if this was something they came up with a few seconds ago or had been discussing for months. Her curiosity led her to wanting to know what they were doing themselves, if anything. Whether that was consciously checking the things they brought themselves or actively going out and telling people about their cause. There was no reason why they could not be working together to unite the people already. Perhaps they just needed someone to help push that agenda in the right direction.

Before she could continue to question them - or provide any responses however - her eyes caught a glimpse of a bird flapping its wings towards them. The screeching sound caught her attention before her eyes did but she silently watched the bird. Hjørdis nodded in response to Cleo's words, pausing to give her time to read the letter. Her eyebrow quirked a little as she saw the young Gryffindor's expression change drastically. The first year pretty much dashed out, paled by the words of the letter. Hjørdis allowed her eyes to fall onto the now exposed letter after she watched her flee the scene. Whatever it was was bad enough to cause this, after all. She sighed softly. Cleo was in for quite a rocky ride, it would seem. Family came first though. She made a mental note of the Gryffindor's name but did not move to go after her. Instead, she turned back towards the Slytherin.

"I think your friend could use your company right now. We could resume this conversation later, if you would prefer?" Hjørdis said towards Ruby, wondering if she was going to run after her or stay.