Alone In My Mind PV Rowan Bane closed

Elena nodded, "It'll have a way of surprising you too."

Was that comforting? Maybe, it sounded a little bit like a curse to Elena though, may you live in interesting times. Nobody wanted to live in interesting times, because chaos always led to pain, that was the trick of it.

"I think there is, and I'm going to be my normal annoyingly stubborn self on that one. No buts." Elena happily took the piece, "Thank you."

Chocolate was a rarity where Elena was from, and every little piece meant the damn world, meaning the fastest way to her heart was by liberal application of chocolate. Rowan was most certainly on the right track. When inevitable Elena began to overthink, she realised that Alan had created a pavlovian reaction by giving her a chocolate frog whenever he saw her. Elena wasn't quite sure if she was impressed or amused. Both, both is good.

"It's cold up here in Scotland." Elena pulled her cloak around her, "In London it snows a little bit but there's always somewhere warm outside, a gardens, an alley with a particular air conditioning unit, all sorts of places to go. Hogwarts is just, cold."

Wasn't much of a conversation, but talking about home might be good.

Rowan winced slightly. Now it would get awkward. 

"I... can't say I've experienced that, I'm sorry. Pureblood. Though I'm also just a heater myself. I don't get cold easily.  I kinda know what you mean though. Always cold here, no matter what." 

Rich boy with mental issues. How hard. Elena had a reason to be broken and she was still strong. But Rowan here had every option to be fine and perfect but he was still breaking down bit by bit every day.  He should be all fine and dandy. He didn't have to search for his next meal, but still he chose to starve himself. She had to worry about being safe when she went to sleep. Worry about nightmares about her past creeping in. Rowan was safe and fine in a warm bed but still he had nightmares. He shouldn't feel bad for himself.

He seemed to curl in on himself a little, his calm mask breaking slightly. His face fell. His body language betrayed him, making him seem smaller, weaker... 

The conversation was fine. Elena was happy with her chocolate. But here Rowan was ruining the moment with his self deprecation that shouldn't even exist compared to her.

Rowan gave her the other half of the chocolate bar, no longer feeling like eating. She would appreciate it more anyhow.

"Wish I had that superpower." Elena decided a joke might help, "Mine is the ability to find blue hair dye anywhere."

Reading people wasn't an actual skill of Elena's, she filled in the blanks with assumptions based on accents and posture, but even someone with no experience could tell Rowan was upset. Even if chocolate was Elena's favourite food, she couldn't take it in this case.

"Keep it Rowan, chocolate makes you happy. You need it more than I do, at least at the moment." Elena had an idea, it was strange but Bella had liked her carvings so maybe if she had been forgetful enough...

Elena patted her coat pockets before finally pulling out one she'd done the last time calm was needed but sleep had escaped her. A little fox, "Here, take this little guy. He'll make sure you're okay, look he's made out of willow wood too. Willow wood is meant to be good for healing, and well suited to people who are amazing but don't believe they are."

Summarising wand wood matches wasn't probably the best way to help out, but that was just how Elena's mind worked. It was excellent good luck that willow wood was the one she'd used for the fox. Then again, maybe it was just fate.

Rowan laughed weakly. Blue hair dye. Actually, he could probably dye his hair easily. His father would kill him, but he could do it if he really ever wanted to. Besides, it's not like Father would see it while he was at hogwarts. Hair dye faded out, right? Easy then. He'd just have to time when he dyed his hair right. Wait- why was he actually thinking about this? Only when Elena handed him the chocolate back did he actually snap back to the present. 

"Oh- no, please, take it. I'm not... I don't... eating isn't something that makes me happy. I only have that in my bag in the first place for if I get blood sugar head aches.." 

Which, mind you, rarely ever happened anymore. He just... stopped getting them at one point. Probably him building up a tolerance to not eating for long periods of time... He stopped following that train of thought, handing the chocolate back, only to have it replaced by another object. A wooden fox. 

Rowan was about to argue he wasn't awesome and didn't deserve this, but that would only reinforce Elena's point, so he instead studied it in his palm for a moment, smiling softly. 

"Thank you.. Really.. Keep the chocolate and I won't even argue." 

"I guess I'll keep the chocolate then." Elena munched on a bit, "Arguments aren't my strong suit. I have the ability to scare people off or piss people off, and to you I want to do roughly neither."

Rowan looked like he liked it, so that was good. Even though people tended to like them there was still a small moment of worry that this would be someone who didn't. Anxiety felt strange, it struck Elena that it also felt strangely normal.

"This is a very strange place, and I don't mean the magic." Elena's voice took on a slightly concerned tone, "People always seem to have something dark in their past, on second thoughts maybe it is the magic, a side effect of having it. Magic always comes with a price is an old idiom but maybe there is some kind of truth in it."

It was a sort of conspiracy theory, but it was strange enough to be apt, if that made sense. Delivered in true Elena fashion, randomly and whenever she remembered a small part of it. Anything to move the conversation of a loop where both kids professed to be about average or less than average before immediately showing that they're good people.

"The community... It's misunderstood. It's dangerous. It's challenging. As is life, but with those with magic especially. Muggles fear us. And there are so many sub communities, it gets challenging fast. My family used to be part of one of these sub communities. Elves."

Rowan tapped his slightly pointed ears to emphasize his point. 

"We are no longer, because we barely count. But still. Every race has different culture. Some different languages. Each different powers and features. Which means each has different threats to each other. We struggle with keeping secret from the muggle community most days. And when not that, we struggle internally. Alot of families struggle with hanging onto tradition. But traditions conflict each other, which often leads to fighting in one way or another. Religion is another issue. And not only that, but with the ever so recent war, and more... well it's a surprise more people aren't having issues. You see the issues muggles have, and they don't have to deal with half the issues we do. It's a wonder more people don't have darker pasts." 

His words were very true. He himself had a dark past, but it could be darker. He could be dealing with an abusive household. Or homelessness. Or a number of other issues ontop of the ones he already had. Besides, his family was rich, mostly intact, and his father wasn't the worst. He was fine compared to many others.

"Elves are real? Like Norse Elves?" Elena smiled, just a little, "I didn't know true elves existed, I thought they were just a myth after seeing what they call elves here."

"People have been going about community the wrong way then." Elena tilted her head, "A community isn't a set of people with the same quirk, a community is a set of people who work together, help each other, protect them. Not a mess of infighting and separation, magic has brought these people together and yet all they do is try to tear themselves apart."

"Traditions often are another excuse to keep people apart, this entire society has been manufactured to topple in the slightest breeze. No wonder we get a dark lord every twenty-ish years." Elena sighed, then brightened a little before holding a hand out to the gryffindor, "Welcome to a new subcommunity Rowan, if you'll have me as a friend."

Might as well welcome someone to the team, or herd, or friend group. Whatever the proper and correct word was, but it fit well enough. Although Elena did wish she had more to offer than friendship, like a place to stay, a sanctuary. Fate meant that just wasn't something she could do.

“Calling me Dökkálfar or Ljósálfar would be highly in accurate. Our elves are not from Álfheimr- er- Ljosalfheim if you prefer. We are not that kind of elf. Ours are very different. Though like I said, I could not be an elf. Or a half elf, for the matter. The only trait in my blood line is the ears. Though that is off topic. Communities fight, is what I try to say. Each wants rights. Each is dissatisfied by the half- arsed job the ministry has done. Magic brings us together, yes, but it is often not enough.” 

Rowan liked breathing, so he paused for a moment. He had focused so much on the negative and the explanations he needed to give that his brain skimmed over the most important part. A slow blush spread to his cheeks. Elena had called him... a friend. Which was honestly incredible.

“Ah- yes- of course- I would be honoured to have you as a friend- I’m sorry I didn’t- yes-“

He had to take a breath again, flustered that he had forgotten how to speak for a moment

“I would love to be considered as such.”

He chuckled a little, running his fingers through his hair. Gods above he was such a mess. 

Rowan speaking the norse words in a soft french accent was almost soothing. It sounded like music, oddly enough. Another observation Elena would keep to herself for now, it would be a strange thing to tell someone after all.

"Communities that are built on mutual trust and respect last longer than those built on necessity. I understand that." Elena nodded, it made sense to her why the system was falling apart, "Maybe it'll get better, hopefully it will."

Elena smiled at Rowan, there was still a little bit of worry behind her eyes but that would likely ease with time. A small piece of trust had been handed over, and that was a big thing for the girl to do, even bigger when her paranoid mind wasn't even properly working.

"I'm honoured to have you as a friend too." Elena said softly, "And thank you, I don't really have anyone I can talk to about things like this. Alan is too sweet and doesn't really know where I came from, and Min-seo is so sweet I don't want her to worry when she's already so hurt..."

Elena's gaze flicked to Rowan then back to the ground in front of her, sadness and a little bit of worry in her eyes.

“Of course. I’m happy to talk about... almost anything I guess. Besides, I know what you mean with them. I’ve met both now. Though... I think Min is stronger than you think. You’ll have to talk serious eventually with her.” 

He restrained himself from winking on that last part. He saw the worry behind her eyes. Which was probably over a different topic, but he didn’t want to risk it, and scare her away. In all honesty he did ship Elena and Min-seo. He wanted to see them together. They would make a pretty good couple. 

His thoughts drifted to Riley for a moment. He had been gone for a little while but that was okay. He remembered that their dorm window opened to this field.

“So I’m guessing you know very little about the wizarding world... If you have any more questions I would be happy to explain and debate with you over the idiocy of the communities of wizards.”

He smirked a little, holding back a laugh. It was true. Alot of the community was dumb as a box of rocks, treating each other as a threat, and hardly trying to come together. Mostly they tried to limit each other so they couldn’t use their powers or whatnot.