Closed The Offer Still Stands PV Opeila Winters

It was nice to be able to talk to someone like this, about this. There never was the right person, never the right time to get out all the thoughts in his head. Especially when it was something so little people understood. He had a tendency to bury things, keep to himself, deal with everything on his own. A majority had been spent dealing with everything on his own. The habit was hard to break. He'd like to think he'd been getting better about it over the years but there was always something that tripped him up. Opeila told him he didn't have to be alone in it either. Even now it surprised him to be met with open reception, all these years and he still wasn't used to it.

There conversation spiraled from that point. The binding mark suggestion had put a dent in it. The suggestion of something as serious as a binding mark ruptured the atmosphere of the conversation in an inexplicable way, though not because the binding mark was a bad idea in the slightest. From the moment the binding mark was suggested Alec held no hesitation. He had to go ahead and ask the obvious question to be asked; would it be something Opeila was comfortable with? She was offering it, and yet he felt the need to make sure this was a decision she was sure of. Opeila countered his question with the same. Was that a yes on being comfortable with it? That was sort of a non-answer.

Opeila's question was left up in the air, the pure shock of having his question turned around on him was enough to stun him. It was incredibly reasonable of her to ask he was more stunned that she used it to counter him and never answered herself. He could not have gotten in a word if he wanted to because she had more to say by the point he could work out a reasonable response. Opeila said she could do the binding mark right now. He was starting to feel like they had skipped some steps, at least her offer reassured him she seemed comfortable with the idea.

Opeila said if he was willing to do the binding mark she really needed him to think on why that was. Opeila didn't want him to say yes because he felt like he had too. And now he was stunned with just how on the same page they were, he didn't want her to feel rushed into the binding mark as an option because of the situation she was in and in a way her not wanting him to say yes because he felt like he had too was close to being the same thing.

They had been on the same page at least.Opeila said that after all the trouble she was caused him she didn't want him to feel like he had to tie himself to her. Tears were coming though she wasn't full-on crying, instead furiously wiping away at her tears. His features which had been serious and focused because of the topic at hand would soften at her tears. He had to hold back on the urge to hug her, for the fear of accidentally pouncing her with a hug mid-setence.

She looked away again. When she spoke he was dumbstruck by her words. It went from causing him trouble to being the trouble.She said she always was and maybe she would always be no matter how hard she tried. He was dumbstruck because he had not expected words like those to come out of Opeila. At least he knew that by now she was done talking. If she allowed, he would move closer and wrap his arms around her, hugging her and holding onto her. He let the two sit in silence giving it time before he finally spoke. “It doesn't help.” His voice was scarcely above a whisper. “Internalizing what you've gone through like that... It doesn't help.” Merlin, now he felt like he was cry or at least get all emotional. She hit close to home with her words and he couldn't move on without speaking about it. “I did that for years. I didn't want to cause trouble to others, be trouble with my trouble, burden them. I hurt so many people that way.” He'd never really talked about it, it was not something you brought up in conversation unless someone somehow managed to hit as close to home with their words as Opeila did. “It's not a good mindset to have. It's hard to crack down on once it's ingrained.” He still struggled with it from time to time. If she'd allowed him to hug her this is the point where he would let go.

“That was heavy. Sorry, I shouldn't have come out swinging with that. I get that my words don't suddenly fix or change the way you feel and it sounds like I'm lecturing.” Alec look off to the side to try to focus his thoughts. “I don't know. It just triggered something and no that's not your fault, just in case that thought pops up in your mind. I didn't know It was something I needed to work on but I guess I do now.” Alec took some deep breaths to regulate himself after what had just happened. He looked to meet her eyes. “How are you feeling? We can take a break from the binding mark conversation if you need breathe and work through that whole conversation brought up.” They still had tea, tea worked wonders too. In a matter of minutes he had managed to emotionally exhaust himself that had to be a new record. “I should probably add, so we're clear; I am comfortable with the idea of a binding mark, I don't feel like I have to do it. I want to do it. We could do it today. Now even. I just want to make sure your okay first.”

@Opeila Winters

@Alec Mason

Opeila didn't know when she started to spiral but suddenly the words seemed to pour out of her, the fear that she had locked away inside of her, out in the open. And while she was still trying to find her way back out of the past and into the present, remember to breathe, to feel, to think reasonably, Alec wrapped his arms around her.

With no resistance Opeila let him hug her, leaned into him and wrapped her arms around him as well, slowly calming down a bit again. Alec was familiar. His scent, his arms, his hugs, it had all become so familiar over the duration of the ruse, and after everything that happened, Opeila could only associate with safety. Because a safe haven was pretty much what the Gryffindor had become to her, a source of comfort and a feeling that she wasn't as lost as she felt.

Eventually he started speaking and Opeila listened to the whispered words, held on to them like a lifeline, trying to find some healing sense in them. And there was sense in them, so much. Opeila had been taught to take responsibility for her actions and their consequences, it was one of her father's biggest values, but maybe she had done it wrongly. She had always felt like she owed it to the people who wanted to help her to take the blame, until she truly felt like the one to blame. It had never occurred to her that this behavior could hurt them.

When Alec let go again, Opeila was calm. The tears had been replaced by a thoughtful expression, when she sat up straight again. "No- No, you didn't sound like you were lecturing me at all.", she assured him, truthfully. In fact, she felt like Alec's words had given her something- she couldn't quite tell what it was yet, but she felt like she could breathe a little more freely than before.
Alec on the other hand seemed unsettled now, mentioned something having triggered him and having to work on something.

Out of an impulse Opeila would reach out and- if he let her- take one of Alec's hands into hers. After the months of the ruse the two had been holding hands a lot and this was not a romantic gesture, but one of support. Opeila did not want her friend to struggle alone either. "You can talk to me too if you want.", she would offer.

"I'm feeling... I'm feeling okay, actually." She really did. Her mind felt more free, more able to actually think about the topic at hand now than before. "I've learned about Binding Mark three years ago. I had three years to understand what it means. If- If you are ok with it, so am I."
Opeila reached into her bag and pulled her wand out of it's little case that one of the Virtanen houseelves had sewn into the bag. "You are sure?"

The assurance he didn't sound like he was lecturing her was a relief, Alec ran a hand through his hair, “good.” One word was nice after releasing his untamed musings onto Opeila. It was a wonder how any of his words made sense when he'd barely had the time to process them before they came darting out of his mouth. Going over it in his head, he did his best to explain his sudden outburst to Opeila. In a way he was able to help himself by talking through it out loud, he wasn't sure he would have gone through the same thought process had he let it be in his head.

In the same way he had a sudden outburst he felt Opeila swiftly reach for his hand, putting his hand into hers. She caught him in the middle his taking some deep breaths and he inhaled sharply in surprise. His eyes darted down towards her hands and he let out a chuckle. She said he could talk to her too if he wanted. Alec's reply was immediate, “I know.” His sudden seriousness in his response to her would vanish only seconds after. “You do know you running away does mean we're done with our whole ruse. If you keep holding my hand people are going to get the wrong impression.” Alec teased gently despite his own acknowledgement that it had been an entirely friendly gesture on her part. Something meant to offer support.

The next thing on the priority list was making sure Opeila was okay and Alec did just that. He was unable to hold back the smile that edged on his lips as she said she was indeed okay. Their conversation moved back to the binding mark and he would find she had known it for some time. She said she had three years to understand what it meant. If he was okay with it, so was she. Knowing she had known how to do a binding mark and had the time to sit with it and understand what it meant made him feel honored to have been offered the option. To know what it meant about them that she had asked him.

He watched as she reached into her bag and pulled out her wand. Asking again if he was sure. The moment felt momentous in a way that was hard to describe. They would be tied for life. It would impact them for better or for worse. Hopefully for better. No matter what it would definitely be something. “Yes Opeila, I'm sure.”

@Opeila Winters

@Alec Mason

Alec's mention of the ruse and people getting the wrong idea confused Opeila at first. The ruse? What did that have to do with anything? Was he attempting to diffuse the tension?
The Slytherin shrugged with a weak smile. "I am not playing right now. I don't care if people get a wrong impression."

Opeila would release a slightly shaky breath when Alec confirmed that he was sure. There was no going back now. "Okay um... try not to move." Opeila would turn his hand that she was still holding and change the grip on her wand, holding it as though it was a pen. Which it kind of was now.

Try not to move.

She could have told this herself just as well. Opeila composed herself, trying to stop her hand from shaking. She had thought that asking would be scary, making the decision would be scary, but it was nothing in comparison to actually starting. The Slytherin was rather familiar with the shape she intended for the mark, after learning the technical process she had practiced, scribbled onto her notes in class, so that was not the issue, it was just... once she had started, there was no going back. What would it be like?

And then she did start, gently drawing a shape on the inside of Alec's arm with the tip of her wand. He shouldn't be hurting, if the books she read didn't lie, it would be more of a tickle, slightly uncomfortable at most. Opeila took her time, bent over his arm and carefully drew the lines. She wasn't shaking anymore, the extreme nervousness she had felt was now replaced by focus.

She wouldn't say a word during the process and wouldn't immediately let go when she had finished drawing the mark. Instead she closed her eyes, take his arm into both of her hands and reached out. It was like she was looking for something in the dark, something she wasn't quite sure what it looked like, but when she found it, she knew it. A channel seemed to open to her mind, a locked door she could not open.

Not open... yet. "Yhteys!" (Connection)
The Finnish word slipped out almost automatically, making the young Slytherin realize once again how much time she had spend in Finland now, and then it was done. The link was there, Opeila could feel it like a sixth sense. Her eyes flew open and her grip on Alec's arm loosened.
She would find her friends gaze. "It is done."
Her mouth did not move.

To her being genuine and telling him she was there for him, and his reaction was to say that he knew and immediately after he'd make a his teasing comment to redirect their conversation from him. She was being incredibly genuine and open and supportive in that moment and Alec had absolutely no idea how to handle that. Even her response to his teasing was something genuine and sweet. He was stunned. He wasn't sure what he'd been expecting but it wasn't that. Reinforcing the fact she was serious about what she had said and somehow managing to flip the conversation in a way that made it feel like he was in the same position he was in only minutes ago when he didn't know what to do or say. In a bashful sort of way Alec's gaze shifted to the ground and he nodded. “I really do appreciate the gesture though.”

When he had been able to assure Opeila about his decision on the binding mark. The finality of it had dawned on them both ever before she began. Opeila told him to try not to move and he nodded She was shaky as she turned his hand to face her and prepared herself. If he let her Alec clasped his other hand over her wand hand as a reassuring gesture then spoke, “hey... relax. It'll be okay.” He would let go and glance down at his arm.

Once Opeila's wand reached his skin he could feel the way his heart suddenly began to race. At first all he felt was the smooth wood of the wand tracing against his skin making out deliberate lines and shapes on his forearm. Her movements were careful.. practiced. As his heart continued to race he waited for something, anything to happen to show that something was happening. There was nothing, in the place of what he'd expected came a slight ticklish feeling, like an itch you couldn't scratch, it was a sensation that was hard to describe and if he had not been actively seeking out the feeling of something happening from it, Alec never would have noticed.

Opeila's hand lingered in the wake of finishing. She closed her eyes and took his arm into both her hands. She managed to look focused even with her eyes closed. Alec watched her with curiosity, when she spoke, she spoke a word he didn't quite understand. His eyebrows furrowed but he'd been left no time to focus on it. Opeila's eye flew open, she spoke, yet her lips stayed sealed, she spoke yet uttered no sound. He stared for a long moment, his silence hung in the air.

He looked down at his forearm still in Opeila's hands despite the fact she had loosened her grip as he made no effort to move his arm away. His eyes traced the lines for a moment as the weight of the finality of it all settled on his chest. It wasn't only the fact that he was well aware he could never go back from this point on. He didn't want too. Alec felt honored to be trusted enough that she was willing to bind the two of them. Having this as an option also eased his nerves about what was going to happen to know he could be there if needed.

Looking back up, Alec met her gaze, “I have so many questions.”

@Opeila Winters

@Alec Mason

It was Alec's hand clasping over hers that finally made her calm a little. They were here together and the whole thing was probably as scary to him as it was to her.

When she was done, after she had pushed open that door by uttering the word that she knew would from now on be the password to it, all the tension seemed to fall off of her. Whatever happened now, there was no undoing this. Alec was still looking at his forearm, the mark on the inside of his wrist, looking like a muggle tattoo, when Opeila sent the first words down the bond, a test that she knew had worked, when he looked up at her.

"With the mark, our minds are connected now. For me it feels like a door that closes the connection. Try to find it, if you can. And when you have, you use the same word I just did, Yhteys. I kept it simple, it's simply the Finnish word for 'connection'. Say it and try to answer me through the bond." Opeila would still not speak but communicate through the bond. It felt weird, like forming words in her mind and sending them through a long tunnel through which she knew they would reach Alec.

There was more to it though. Almost like a new sense that focused on Alec alone. That would know wherever he went. Before she had completed the mark, Opeila had thought it would be a scary feeling. A step back on the freedom she was currently fighting for. Now she realized that it was not at all how she felt about it. Instead the knowledge of his presence was nothing but comforting. No, she definitely felt like she wouldn't regret this decision anytime soon.