completed detention Ballad of Detentions and Snakes pv Ava W. and Clark B.

Ava had trudged all the way up to the astronomy tower (slytherin commons were in the dungeons, and the astronomy classroom was one of the taller, maybe even tallest, tower) to serve her detention. Now imagine seeing a note that said you had to go all the way back down to the kitchens so that you could serve the detention somewhere other than where the professor had told you it was going to be. Infuriating, right? Maybe this was part of the detention. 'Walk up and down a million flights of stairs until you collapse in the kitchen to do my bidding'. If that's how this was going to be, this detention was going to be more difficult than she had predicted.

Of course walking up and down the entire castle wasn't all. When she arrived in the kitchens (after a fair amount of snooping around, what was that about?), Professor Baird was standing next to something hung up on the wall. When she drew closer, she could read the words printed on it. 'Buddy shirt'. She had heard about these sorts of things before, particularly from a certain Elizabeth Sunrise. Ava smirked and couldn't help but ask something that wasn't helping her case at all. "Borrow this from Clair, did you?" The shy timid girl from yesterday was gone, replaced with a smirking witch ready to cause some chaos. If they were in the kitchens, clearly this detention wouldn't be horrible. The worst thing would be listening to her remarks. "The shirt and the idea. Can't come up with any ideas on your own, can you?" She shook her head in mock disappointment.

The professor got on with the assignment, explaining that they would be doing the work of house elves. She couldn't help but snort and mumble "Is this supposed to be difficult?". She had grown up with a muggle family--she was a muggleborn, after all. A little bit of housework would be no problem. And the professor probably should have removed the house elves completely, because of she was going to do this, she was going to make it as miserable as possible, even if it meant she was making it more difficult for herself.

The professor stuck out his hand and asked for their wands, and Ava was tempted to say she had forgotten it in her dorm even though she could feel it pressed against her in a robe pocket. Then she realized what he had said. "I didn't do anything." She pointed out as she handed over her wand.

There was some more talk about punishment but Ava tuned them all out as she focused on her thoughts. The only thing she could currently think about--or maybe scheme was a better word--was how to make everyone as miserable as possible.

Her daydreams of making everyone as miserable as possible were interrupted by a shirt slipping over her head. Ava grinned, even though she wasn't excited by the prospect of having to share the shirt with Clark. The thing was, if Clark was stuck in that buddy shirt with her, she was going to get nothing done--and neither would he. She assumed they wouldn't be allowed to leave the shirt, so if Ava 'accidentally' forgot the task and wandered around the kitchen away from all the stuff they needed to do whatever it was the house elves would have them doing, Clark and her wouldn't be able to get anything done.

The 'now get to work' sent Ava doing anything but work. She 'accidentally' went careening towards a wall, and with Clark attached to her, he went flying towards the wall with her.

608/1500

date

@Clark Baird, @Octavius Baird

A bellow here and a bellow there and a bellow everywhere. At least, that was how Clark described his actions as he saw the sign on his father's door. Was this the punishment? Please tell him it was the punishment. Why the hell was he having to go up and down the stairs for a freaking detention. Couldn't his father get a class that was right next to the great hall- so he wouldn't have to wander all over the damn place?

Another short moan and he walked towards the door to the kitchen. Before he entered, he spoke. "Screw you dad. Screw you. You suck."

And then his father spoke and he got a shirt over him- only to be shared with pigface with him. "What the hell? DAD! Why am I stuck with Ratty Mcphee?"

Now, he found himself being jerked towards a wall and slipped out of the buddy shirt and hit the ground. Clark got up, and glared at his father. There was an obvious size difference, Clark was only 4 feet tall while the rat was more than an inch taller than he was. That was a really illogical punishment, but if he wanted this detention done, he would do what he was expected to do, hating what he was just about to do.

He slid back into the shirt, and sent a death glare into Ava's face. Face to face.

"Listen here Rat. Shut the hell up, stop injuring people, or I will make your life a living hell." At least, that was Clark's attempt to be intimidating while harshly whispering to her whilst looking upwards. "Oh, you got some boogers to get rid of as well."

Another glance to the right and he saw a knife. Lovely. He could use that to cut the ham. "Hey Ava, I'll be nice only if you are nice as well, and that means getting our tasks done. We do need to make some ham, do you want to do that? I'll try and steal us some to eat soon!"

343/1500

When Clark entered the kitchen, Ava could tell he was just as mad about all the climbing as she was. At least he didn't have to climb the full flights. And he made three times the racket she did when he came down, moaning, grumbling and complaining so loud she was pretty sure he could be heard from the astronomy tower where he had come from.

When they were stuck sharing the shirt, guess what happened. Clark complained about being stuck with 'Ratty Mcphee', much to her confusion. "Ratty Mcphee? What the heck? At least your not stuck with--" she glanced at the professor, stopping herself before she said a dorky dwarph. "--with someone as annoying as you." she glared at him and wrinkled her nose.

Much to her delight, he slipped out of the buddy shirt when she moved towards the wall. Might as well make some use of the blasted thing. Annoying Clark seemed like a great 'some use' for the shirt.

As Clark slipped back into the shirt, he glared at her, which was hard to take serious since she was basically looking straight down on him. It was almost laughable, until Clark told her she had boogers in her nose.

Reducio

When Clark looked away she quickly wiped her nose on her robe sleeves and hoped he had only said that to say that. And when he returned his attention to her, she was rightfully surprised. He tried to offer her a compromise. But Ava had come in ready to cause trouble. It was never that easy with her. "Better idea," she said with a smirk. "We make this miserable for your dad, but still complete the tasks so we can get out of here quickly." As if to show that she would cooperate, she pulled them both towards the ham.

912/1500

date

@Clark Baird, @Octavius Baird

"Oh puh-lease." Clark said" referring to Ava's short intermission between calling him a specific name. "I've heard worse dearie." And then she mentioned the horrid act of trying to make it worse for his father. "No! We want to get out!" The Part Goblin exclaimed with a tinge of frustration in his voice. Latching his hand on the knife, he saw the House Elf pull out the ham from the oven and decided he would just go ahead and cut it, surely it would count for cooking a darn ham.

Slicing the ham, he attempted to make it both thick and thin at the same time to be supplementary for the school in addition to trying to avoid the bone. Clark was trying to cut the ham as fast as possible so no one could get injured with the knife, and once he was done, he dropped it on the ground and kicked it towards Octavius.

"Now, let's do dishes!" He would have Ava do the dishes as he wrote his essay, and when Clark writes his apology letter, Ava could write her essay, then they would finally be free. It didn't have to last forever.

Whoever invented the buddy shirt must've known how uncomfortable it was, especially with height differences.

He stuck both of his arms through the right sleeve and began to write, allowing Ava to do the dishes.

Ava sighed, rolling her eyes. "You're missing the point. We get out of here but..." she grabbed what looked like pepper from a shelf nearby, while Clark was grabbing ham and beginning to cut it. She glanced pointedly at Professor Baird as she used her one free hand to dash some of the spice on the ham. "This could really use some seasoning." With a grin, she began madly shaking the bottle over the ham, coating it in more black flakes than there should have been. "See?" She said as she pulled away the bottle and set it on the nearest shelf, which was definitely not where it had come from, but she didn't care at all.

When he was finished with the ham he moved towards the dishes, and Ava sighed but plunged her hand in the lukewarm water. With a glance at Clark she saw that he was not helping her, but had both arms out of the sleeve so he could write his essay. She weighed her choices. She could argue with him, even though she hadn't helped with the ham, or she could stay quiet. She decided on the latter as she squirmed so that both her hands were out the arm sleeve, putting them back to back. With a sigh, she began scrubbing the dishes, trying to think of a way to sabotage but none came to mind. So all she could do was finish the boring task as fast as possible so she could start on the dreaded apology letter and the expected essay.

She had done dishes at her muggle household, so she was able to get through them quickly. When she was done she wiped her wet hands on the buddy shirt and moved over to where Clark was writing his essay--or maybe it was his apology letter. Her hands were mostly dry, but she was still able to flick water at the shorter of the two with a smirk. "Now for the essay or should I start with the apology letter?" She murmured, knowing her voice would carry straight into his ear causing a sure distraction. "Hmmmm. I think I'll start on the apology." She said, knowing that as she wrote each word he would hear just how much she meant it. She was counting on him telling his father about her absolute genuity.

Professor,

I'm worry for breaking your lava lamp, it was your property and I shouldn't have, because it wasn't mine to touch. I hope that you accept my apology, and you can come up with a way for me to make it up to you.

Ava

Despite its length, she was sure it met the requirements. Afterall, he hadn't said 6 inches of parchment or 500 words like on the essay. All he had asked for was an apology letter. She would've turned to Clark, but they were already stuck next to each other so she settled for waving the piece of paper in front of his face. "D'you like it?" She said to irritate him, slamming the paper back down and grabbing another one for her essay. "And now for that lovely essay your father assigned us." She raised her voice and looked over to the professor. "And thanks for that, by the way." She said sarcastically, raising the quill so she could finally finish this horrid detention.

There are many things that went wrong last night, and many things that I should've done that I didn't. I didn't respect your stuff, I didn't show any responsibility, and what I did was wholly wrong. I have decided to write about what I did wrong, and what I should've done. I hope this essay shows you I have learned from my mistakes and will not make them again.

One of the main things that I did wrong was I didn't respect your property. It's important to always respect others and their belongings, even if you would rather not. Last night, I made the mistake of not respecting your property, and I smashed your lava lamp on the floor. I disrespected two things, your property and you by breaking the lava lamp. By smashing your lava lamp, I disrespected your property, and because it was your property I disrespected you. I should've left the lava lamp alone and found a professor when I saw Clark being destructive, but I decided to join him which was very wrong of me. Worst of all, I disrespected you by withholding the truth from you even though it was your stuff.

At the school, there is a certain standard. This school is only accepting to the witches and wizards of London, so the students have the responsibility to portray the school well. When I decided to smash your lava lamp, I immediately showed the school negatively. As a student at Hogwarts, that is one of the worst things you could do. What I should've done is left the lava lamp alone and stop Clark from destroying school property, but instead I gave myself and Clark a bad reputation, and I didn't fulfill my responsibility as a student.

Overall what I did was just wrong. In breaking the lava lamp, I could have injured Clark when I smashed the lava lamp, but I didn't think of that when I did it. Destroying a professor's property is never a good idea, yet I did it anyway. What I should have done is left it alone, or considered the consequences before I broke the lava lamp. None of that happened, which is why the lava lamp is my fault. I promise it will not happen again.

But if you really think about it, this whole ordeal is Clark's fault. If he hadn't started wrecking stuff in your classroom, I never would've smashed the lava lamp. The root of the problem was that when I saw your son destroying your own classroom, I had the urge to join in. Not to mention, if I had never destroyed the lava lamp this entire thing would be Clark's fault. When you really think about it I only did a small part of the damage, and Clark did the rest. Blaming it entirely on me wouldn't be fair, because Clark destroyed school property. Really, he should be serving detention until midterms since he probably interrupted someone's learning.

Anyway, I have given you many reasons why I am sorry and what I should have done differently. I have explained the problem, and I have showed you that I have learned from my mistakes.

When she was done with the essay, which was definitely a rant and none of it was true except for the paragraph about Clark, she looked to the professor and asked the question she was sure they were both very tempted to ask. "I'm done, can I take the shirt off now?" She looked at the professor with a look in her eyes that clearly read 'if you say no I will fight you'.

1502/1500

date

@Clark Baird, @Octavius Baird

Again, it had to be the most dull moment in his dreaded life. The ham was overpeppered, though Clark wouldn't have peppered the ham on the exterior, he would've done salt- an extreme amount of salt- on the inside of ham. Then he would've brushed off the extra salt that was clearly visible so that they bite into some form of a Country Ham.

If anything, Clark loved Country Ham, but he knew many would pucker their lips in disgust of what they tasted.

That was perfection at its finest. Butttt, this was before Clark ever wrote the dratted essay and still got soaked with dish water.

"Ava!" Clark screamed. "My paper is wet!" He worked hard on the paper so if it was completely destroyed, he was murdering the slytherin.

"I hate you." He said, but realized his final task of the night was to write an apology letter to the girl who brought him the nightmarish detention of constant walking.

"I hope you're pleased with yourself Eva." Whether it was her name or not, Clark intended it to be that way. However he could annoy the girl without breaking any rules would've been the best way in the detention. "I bet you can't even escape Azkaban if anyone placed you in there for your cruel act of destroying my father's Lava Lamp. If it was up to me, the fate of commiting such a henious crime would result in you being suspended indefinitely."

As he looked around, he saw Ava working on the letter now. Good, that meant he had his bloody chance to work on the dang apology letter. But what was he going to say? Ava was a rotten soul through and through and no matter what he would've done or said, there was no changing her.

Clark was simply making the world better, one step at a time. The sooner he could get rid of the people moderating the halls, the better. It would mean he might have the chance to get his father fired.

His father had better regret putting Clark in detention.

No, Clark lacked the moral soul inside of him that would encourage him to get his father fired, but instead possessed it to the point in where he didn't want to see his father fired but rather have his father step down.

Super simple.

And now he knew what he was saying for the letter.


--
"Dear Ava."

Ooo! THERE WAS A LEMON ON THE COUNTER! AN OPEN ONE!

"I'm sorry" No periods or any forms of punctuations were put down as Clark switched to the lemon juice. "you're such an insufferable idiot that ruined my life. Would you like to know the fun magic of how to write this dearie? Too bad, I hope you get eternity in detention and azkaban."

And drying off the tip of the quill, he dipped it back into the ink. "Signed, Clark."