2 Apr 2023, 05:39
Didn't Mean to Date Your Boyfriend
Alternative Title: Didn't Mean to Unlock Your Deepest Darkest Secrets & Make You Cry
đ¸đź . đśđ¸ . đ¸đš
He hadnât planned on using the favor he earned from Ironwoods so quickly, but hey it was the season of love. Where everyoneâs just determined to show each other how much they appreciated each other's presence. However, the presence Hanako wanted to appreciated had decided that no, this will be yet another month where Hanako could barely see him. So, you know. Use force when you can! And with Ironwoods having no choice but to back him up, force is certainly something Hanako would use.
The plan was simple. He waits in this weirdly clean abandoned classroom, while Ironwoods go fetch Wyatt Starkey and get him to enter the room. Theyâll keep watch of the door so if Hanako doesnât exist first, then theyâll have more than enough strength to pick up twigs like Starkey to re-enter the room. Who was going to fight against a prefect? And even if Wyatt did somehow miraculously escape Ironwoodâs grasp⌠then there's nothing a little immobulus spell canât fix. Thankfully, Hanako had been practicing his accuracy.
Earning a favour from a prefect truly is the best.
The hardest part about this was the waiting, really. This classroom felt so surreal when he was the only life form in it. Every corner showed one of the many memories of having classes and activities in these classrooms.
Wyatt and Hanako had this sort ofâŚrelationship where they were patient with one another. (More on Wyattâs patience, but whatever). They werenât friends, technically. Hanako at least trusted him enough to get anxious when it had been yet another month of Starkeyâs silent treatments. Usually the boy would put up with many of Hanakoâs antics. Silent treatments were not rare, but there hadnât been one that lasted this long.
Up to this point, Hanako had been the one that was the most patient between the two. Trusting that eventually with time, Wyatt would stop pretending not to hear him when he tried to get his attention. He wouldnât have gone through resorts such as this if it werenât for Alec informing him that Hanakoâs assumption that they were dating was totally wrong.
Wyattâs silent treatment was understandable in the beginning. Hanako had gone out on a date with his boyfriend to a) make sure he wasnât a douche and b) proving he was a douche by going out on a date with him. It could be an either or situation, honestly. Their short date had concluded that Alec wasnât so bad for Wyatt. He admits it was a bit foolish for thinking this wouldnât reach Starkeyâs ears. But he assumed time would heal. Like whoops, sorry didnât mean to date your boyfriend that one time. Totally platonic, promise. Knowing Hanakoâs own reputation, he would have assumed Starkey understood eventually.
When weeks turned to months, Hanakoâs patience became thinner. Even more so after he found out Alec and Wyatt weren't actually dating. So why the long silent treatment? Hanako would find out today.
He just stood silently beside the door with his arms crossed, leaning against the wall. When the doors opened and Wyatt entered the room, Hanako didnât dare to make a move. It wouldnât take long for Starkey to look around the room and find himself trapped in Hanaâs usual cheeky gaze.
â Hey, babe~â he jested.
Perhaps it took a tad bit longer to notice him because of their difference in height. Hana was basically a bean next to him. Whatever the case, it wouldn't matter. Ironwoods, as instructed, had shut the door with an ominous thump. Hanako stepped up and stood in front of the now closed doors, his wand visible for Starkey to see.
â Donât bother â Hanako commented, knowing Wyatt was already forming some sort of escape plan by now in that brain of his. â Ironwoods is in on this too. Unless I leave first, theyâll just shove you back right in. Even with that, I also have several..â he twirled his wand in his hands with an eerily innocent smile. â back-up, plans~â
â Itâs been a while, Starkey. I think we have some stuff to catch up on, donât you think so?â
God-Modding Permission granted by @Cassandra Ironwoods & @Wyatt Starkey
Last edited by Hanako Tone on 21 Apr 2023, 15:36, edited 2 times in total.
3 Apr 2023, 04:37
Didn't Mean to Date Your Boyfriend
wearing | hex: #3a5948
âDonât call me babe,â he said without missing a beat after that pet name left Toneâs lips. âI know Iâm rooming with Rainwood now, but I am still uninterested in being his replacement.â Wyatt loved low blows, and in conversation with Hanako Tone, mentioning Percival Rainwood was about as low as it got. If Hanako was going to bring Wyatt out of his silent treatment, he should immediately be hit with reasons as to why his distance was a blessing. Serves him right.
According to that note from Valentines, Hanako was letting Wyattâs cold shoulder get to him. Wyatt was starting to think he shouldâve been more cautious. He should have known something was up when Cassandra Ironwoods asked him to some classroom out of nowhere. That had deranged-Hanako-Tone plot written all over it. That note was too obviously the beginning of something awful.
Wyatt felt like should have thrown it out when he first saw it.
Looking around, Wyatt was a bit flattered, to tell the truth. Hanako had gone out of his way to ensure they would have a moment tonight, whether he liked it or not. Tone even got Cassandra Ironwoods to lure Wyatt and guard the door⌠was it that obvious that Wyatt was scared of the prefect or did they simply owe Tone a favor, Burnett style? And was âscaredâ the right word? Cautious would be more accurate. Since Hanako kidnapped Opeila, they really did not like Wyatt.
It had been a while since theyâd spoken, but Hanako remembered Wyattâs tendencies quite well. Just as he began plotting every possible escape route, Tone started yapping on about how Ironwoods would not let him leave without a fight. At this news, Wyatt couldnât stifle a groan. Heâd had such good luck avoiding Hanako for so long. Just why did it all have to end now?
It was entirely on Hanakoâtheir cut communicationâand any pretense on that minionâs part that he didnât understand the reasoning behind Wyattâs silent treatment toward him was preposterous, to say the least. Alec can make friends with whoever he liked, and so could Hanako, but to go on a date? No, even a normal friendship would have been too much. Alec did not need to be corrupted by Hanako Tone. Wyatt could put up with him, he knew how to deal with it, but Alec Mason did not need a conniving little gremlin infiltrating his brain. How dare he? What did he want?
âItâs been a while, Starkey. I think we have some stuff to catch up on, donât you think so?â
Wyatt scoffed, âI do not think it has been long enough.â His tone was flat. Wyatt narrowed his eyes, posture impeccable and expression carefully blank. Hanako would not be handed any high ground in this conversation. âI cannot imagine one of us having anything to say to the other besides, perhaps, me saying to you that I demand to be let out of this room. But I know that wouldnât work.â
Wyatt eyed Hanako and his odd smile. It was the type of smile that was typically worn by a small child whoâd just gotten away with doing something naughty, so it didnât look out of place on Hanako. He was still short, though Wyatt imagined (or hoped) that he would always have that advantage over his fellow Slytherin. Tone toyed with something in a steady hand, and upon further inspection, Wyatt found it was a wand. Wyatt was proud that Hanako didnât trust him enough to put it away, or at the very least believed that he was enough of a threat to keep his wand at the ready.
âWould you really do anything if I were to walk away? You could curse me, but surely Ironwoodsâs responsibility as a prefect far outweighs the importance of whatever favor they seem to owe you? I know they are not guarding that door because the two of you are friends,â Wyatt prodded. If anything, this line of questioning would distract Hanako from other topics of conversation. Topics of conversation that Wyatt feared would include Alec J. Mason.
Interacting: @Hanako Tone
Mentioning: Alec Mason, Cassandra Ironwoods, Percival Rainwood, Jack Burnett
| âIf you ever need anything please don't hesitate to ask someone else first.â - Kurt Cobain. |
Sta: 15 | Eva: 20 | Str: 6 | Wis: 9 | Arc: 9 | Acc: 11 Parselmouth | Prodigal DADA | Fearless | Muggle Condition |
3 Apr 2023, 11:46
Didn't Mean to Date Your Boyfriend
đ¸đź . đśđ¸ . đ¸đš
âDonât call me babe,â he snapped.
â Oh? So you can hear me? Great! That was a fact I wasnât so sure of lately â he may have kept a grin on his face, but there was no doubt bitterness in that tone. It would only start getting worse when Wyatt mentioned Rainwood, to which Hanakoâs expression immediately darkened. It was not a good look on the boy. He was someone who smiles a lot, though in-genuine most times. The comment had earned a few long seconds of silence before Hanako broke it. â He could never be replaced. And frankly, you donât meet the standards for it anywayâ Hanako wouldnât explain more, and left it up to Starkeyâs interpretation.
The way Hanako looked at Wyatt was different from Rainwood. That was already obvious from the beginning, and it certainly was the reason why Hanakoâs relationship with the pureblood went to absolute shit that they are in now. If they were even remotely the same, Hanako wouldnât have went out his way just for a chance to make amends- or at least get some explanations. Despite that, it all hurts the same way. Being left alone. Ignored. The only difference being Hanako was brave enough to patch things up with Starkey. Silence could be taken advantage of. Itâs not like Starkey had given him a letter stating they no longer want to see Hanako. Though that probably wouldnât stop this small⌠interaction from happening.
âI do not think it has been long enough.â His tone was flat. Wyatt narrowed his eyes, posture impeccable and expression carefully blank. A reaction that made Hanako feel a sting in his ches. He couldnât have..that much of a lack of reaction can he? Not even a groan? The sight of it only made Hanako frown. Was he the only one affected by their silence? That cared? âI cannot imagine one of us having anything to say to the other besides, perhaps, me saying to you that I demand to be let out of this room. But I know that wouldnât work.â
â Correct â he confirmed, devoid of itâs usual jest.
Starkey then proceed to show some form of reaction. A thing that made Hanakoâs frown lightened slightly, though it stayed the same when he was basically staring back at a mirror. He didnât know whether to feel flattered and Starkey knew him enough that he knew that smile, or uneasy.
âWould you really do anything if I were to walk away? You could curse me, but surely Ironwoodsâs responsibility as a prefect far outweighs the importance of whatever favor they seem to owe you? I know they are not guarding that door because the two of you are friends,â
â âŚâ Hanako looked down, mindlessly twirling the hand between his fingers, knowing they would never drop. The movement helped him think on what to say. â ThatâŚis a good plan. One that wouldâve worked if we had more time.â he said as he lifts his head back up. Of course, what Starkey said made sense. But he had better things to talk about than Ironwoodâs loyalty for him. Those were consequences of his actions and while he was not prepared for the outcome, he was not unaware of it. Which is why his eye on the goal was almost unbelievable sharper today. It was a tactic Hanako knew too well. Distracting people from what was really important here? He really didnât know whether to be flattered, or uneasy.
â Sorry, canât offer tea this time as we have a time limit, but Iâm open to sitting on the floor if it makes you comfortable. â Truthfully, Starkey wasnât the only person upset at this scenario. This was the situation where Starkey had no choice but to participate in. The least he could do was offer tea, but he figured it wouldnât do much to hide the fact that he was basically forced to be here. â Whatâs this about? I know youâre the type to give people silent treatments but this is really too much~â he chuckled, though it was noticeably weaker than his usual ones. A tinge of hurt laced all over the laugh before Hanako could stop it. The laughing died down almost immediately.
Hanako had less control over his facial expressions in comparison to Starkey, so the gaze he gave made it pretty obvious what he was feeling. Upset. Hurt. Frustrated. Maybe even a bit lost at what to do. Still, he kept his voice steady and serious. â Start talking or Iâll start guessingâ. Really, he was giving Starkey a chance. How dodgy would he be about it? Was he going to answer the elephant in the room? Was he even going to be truthful? Maybe there was more going on than Hanako realised. It was already obvious at this point that Hanako wanted to know.
Knowing Starkey, he would do whatever it takes to not answer the question. But if it was satisfying enough, Hanako would be alright with it. He just needed..something. Even if they were lies. Just be convincing enough. Please.
@Cassandra Ironwoods & @Wyatt Starkey and mentioning @Percival Rainwood
4 Apr 2023, 01:10
Didn't Mean to Date Your Boyfriend
wearing | hex: #3a5948
âSorry, canât offer tea this time as we have a time limit, but Iâm open to sitting on the floor if it makes you comfortable,â Hanako apologized.
At this, Wyatt raised an eyebrow. A time limit? Wyatt didnât know how close heâd gotten to the true nature of Hanakoâs deal with Ironwoods before, but now he was sure the favor wasnât so deep. Cassandra was willing to play guard for a few, but they werenât leaving how long âa fewâ meant in Hanakoâs hands. They were much smarter than Wyatt often gave them credit for. Can you blame him though? If you comfortably keep company with the likes of Katherine LabrouderâŚ
âWhatâs this about? I know youâre the type to give people silent treatments but this is really too much~â Hanako let out a small chuckle. It was weaker than usual, which piqued Wyattâs interest. Did that weakness come from exhaustion? And, if so, what kind?
Hanako wasnât wrong. It was sort of becoming his thing, giving people random silent treatments. Wyatt found it was much easier than going out of his way to make someoneâs life terrible, though it had a similar effect. For some, the silent treatment could be even more annoying than straight-up fighting. Hanako seemed to be one of those people if Wyatt was to use his amusing reaction as proof. The toddler wasnât in control of his expression, as usual. Wyatt could see his hurt.
That confused him more than it gave him satisfaction. Why on Earth would Hanako be hurt by Wyattâs radio silence? Itâs not like they were friends. Allies, why not. Frenemies, sure. And maybe Wyatt did trust Hanako a little bit, enough to keep his door unlocked for as long as he did even though he knew Hanako would just barge right in. Shit, werenât they friends? Wyatt was never so great at friends, or even categorizing a relationship. They werenât friends, were they? But Tone was so upset.
âStart talking or Iâll start guessing.â
âIs that a threat or a promise,â Wyatt asked rhetorically, his eyebrows ever-so-slightly raised. âI donât think it would be wise for me to respond, just in case weâre thinking two different things. As a good host, I think you should clue me in on what you think is the problem. I thought our distance was going just fine. Iâll have you know I havenât been involved in one kidnapping scheme since we last spoke.â
Wyatt knew what this was about for him. Alec. Why did Hanako think he could just go to Alec and⌠ugh, become his friend? It seemed as though Hanako thought something more romantic than friendship was going on between the two of them, which was insanely false, but that didnât mean Tone was the one to date Alec! And what did Alec see in Hanako anyway? The parselmouth mustâve been putting on an entire persona if Alec was willing and capable of spending even a minute in his presence.
âAnd, please. You know Iâm the âtypeâ to give people silent treatments? Letâs not start about what I am the type to do because we both know youâre the type to do lots of things. Kidnap an innocent peer for one. How about tricking someone into revealing their highly stigmatized secret ability that you learned of by accident? Oh, what about ruining your only true friendâs relationship simply because you werenât getting the energy you think you deserve?â Wyatt spat, keeping his volume level but letting his tone get as venomous as it needed to. âYou donât see why someone would stop talking to you?â
None of that was remotely close to the reason Wyatt ignored Hanako for months, but it was a lot safer than bringing up Alec, who didnât need to be anywhere near this conversation. For Alecâs sake, it was best Wyatt kept him as far away from a topic of conversation here as possible. He didnât need to be anywhere on Hanakoâs radar. There was no way he couldâve known, but Wyatt hoped Alec wasnât on Toneâs mailing list on Valentineâs day⌠maybe heâd have to ask.
All Wyatt had to do was get his time with Hanako to run out. It didnât matter what he said, he just had two objectives: 1) to keep Alec out of the conversation and 2) get out of this conversation alive.
Interacting: @Hanako Tone
Mentioning: Alec Mason, Cassandra Ironwoods, Percival Rainwood
| âIf you ever need anything please don't hesitate to ask someone else first.â - Kurt Cobain. |
Sta: 15 | Eva: 20 | Str: 6 | Wis: 9 | Arc: 9 | Acc: 11 Parselmouth | Prodigal DADA | Fearless | Muggle Condition |
17 Apr 2023, 21:02
Didn't Mean to Date Your Boyfriend
đ¸đź . đśđ¸ . đ¸đš
English & Parselmouth
âIs that a threat or a promise,â Wyatt asked rhetorically, his eyebrows ever-so-slightly raised. âI donât think it would be wise for me to respond, just in case weâre thinking two different things. As a good host, I think you should clue me in on what you think is the problem. I thought our distance was going just fine. Iâll have you know I havenât been involved in one kidnapping scheme since we last spoke.â
â Oh yea! I thought the distance was fine too. Thats why I conspired with the prefect that punched my jaw just so I can talk to you.â He crossed his arms with an unimpressed gaze. â But if you insist, Iâll keep the recap short. Weâre here to talk about why youâve been avoiding me like the plague for months. I allowed it for a while because thatâs always how itâs been between us. I piss you off, you give me the cold shoulder, I make it up to you somehow - even if itâs just by giving you space, and we go back to how we normally are. I thought we were -â the next word got caught in his throat.
Friends. A word they have both been allergic to since they were 1st years. Even Hanako had struggled with the concept at times, although he had the unfortunate turn of event where he wasnât so allergic to it now. Those specific turn of events had led him to all this: his confrontation with Starkey. Because if Hanako never even seen their relationship worth salvaging, then what was the point of even being here? He was just unlucky enough to accept his comfort with the other boy. Whether is was some sort of silent understanding between sad bois, or a Parselmouth bond, Starkey wasâŚsomeone worth all this. The fact if Starkey feels the same only seems to be a diminishing hope the more he talks.
â It doesnt matter. Iâm done waiting around. I want to talk about whats been making it difficult for you go back to where we were. Or are you really going to act dumb?â
He did not in fact, acted dumb. In fact, Hanako would have prefered he did compared to the string of words that spilled out of his mouth next. Just the first statement had a shift uncomfortably, knowing exactly where this was going. It was not somewhere he wanted it to go.
â Kidnap an innocent peer for one. â
â Stop it â he uttered quietly first, like a small mummer. It was nothing against the venomous tone that Starkey held on to. Only encouraging his tone to appear more meek by each accusation.
â How about tricking someone into revealing their highly stigmatized secret ability that you learned of by accident? â
â I said stop itâ
â Oh, what about ruining your only true friendâs relationship simply because you werenât getting the energy you think you deserve?â
â WyattâŚâ
âYou donât see why someone would stop talking to you?â
â ENOUGH !â Whoever said screaming would make you feel better was a big liar. He felt anything but, and it showed. His hands had a slight trembling to it, as if his own scream still echoed in his mind. For someone who did the screaming, it was him that looked like he was screeched at. His anxious eyes were anywhere but Starkey. For a second there it was like he even forgot Wyatt was there. It took a long few seconds to soothe his ragged breathing pattern.
He was not someone that yelled a lot. Loud presence, sure. But to scream, and so desperately at that - was one of the rarest sights you could ever see him in. It was raw, enough for him to start feeling the burn it left on his throat. His next words sounded strained as it wavered â I get it.. I do..â Of course he would. He had said Wyattâs exact words to himself countless times. More detailed and harsher, even. For years. At some point in life, he wouldâve taken Starkeyâs comment as a compliment. Now all it did was fill him with dread. The confirmation that the deepest root of all this was him. Not smart enough. Not great enough. Not skilled enough. Never enough for anyone. That's why it was easy for anyone to leave him. His grandmother left. His parents left. Percival left. They all did. They eventually always do.
Leave.. Just like what Starkey was trying to do.
â This is just so. Freaking. Easy for you isnât it? â his confidence seemed to have come back, accompanied by a narrowed gaze shifted back to Starkey and a hollow laugh. What was he feeling now? Upset? Guilty? Betrayed? It was difficult to see when anger had blanketed his senses. Without being able to see what he felt, it was easier to say whatever you wanted. But at what cost?
â I have reasons why Iâm like this. I have reasons why Iâm trying to change. I have reasons why Iâm doing the most for you â As if mimicking Wyattâs earlier rebuttal, each word held more poison than the last. â You think I want to be here getting answers from you? You think I wouldnât take a chance if there was a way for me not to feel so..â amidst the obvious anger, this was the only time when he started to waver. As if a massive debate was happening in Hanakoâs head. Awful. Scared. Hurt. The confirmation of it only made his anger burn with more heat. So much so that suddenly, his hands were no longer curled in a ball nor shaking. His eyes simmered down on its earlier wraith, replaced with an unusual cold stare. An empty sneer managed to make it to his face.
â How does it feel? â he asked calmly in contrast to his earlier tone.â To never have someone important enough from you just ripped away from your life? Just leave without notice? Never having to wonder what you did wrong or what you couldâve done better. If it was really all your fault theyâre gone â. At this point, Hanako didnât even know what he was saying. Truthfully, he could hear a part of him yelling at him to stop digging into his own grave. Alas, the tempting urge to blame anyone but himself was too addictive. Like an old habit resurfacing, he only thought of relishing in it rather than question why itâs still here.
Whatever Wyatt had said, it worked. As of now, Hanako was too busy masking his hurt over Wyattâs words with unbridled anger to remember why they were here in the first place.
â Awesome, I bet.â he scoffed. â That's why youâre content with being an ass 24/7. You never lost anything.â he accused cooly, never taking his eyes of Starkey. Envy dripped off his words, stronger than any other tone he had used today.
@Wyatt Starkey
21 Apr 2023, 03:00
Didn't Mean to Date Your Boyfriend
wearing | hex: #3a5948
It was very unlike Hanako Tone to scream. He was usually frustratingly chipper. In a totally fake way, obviously, but chipper nonetheless. This was, to say the least, scary? Wyatt wasnât afraid of Hanako, but something about yelling always put him on edge. It was a gut feeling, like his stomach wanted to crawl out to find safety because it was too loud. In fact, Wyatt flinched. Hell, when Hanako yelled, he almost jumped. There was no warning for the sudden increase in volume from his conversation partner and roommateâs ex-roommate. Wyatt didnât like loud noises, and this was an especially bad one.
But why had Hanako yelled? Wyatt couldnât have known his housemateâs specific reasoning, but Wyattâs last sentence really got to him. Usually, when Wyatt thought back on which phrases triggered his conversation partner it was a bad thing (for them); a sign that heâd zeroed in on their weaknesses and was ready to push further, but this wasnât at all what Wyatt was going for.
Hanako started talking to him about loss, and the accusations caused Wyatt to think about his relationship with the shorter boy. Wyatt knew nothing about Toneâs family or upbringing. Wyatt had no idea whether or not Hanako had siblings, or whether his parents were still around. Most things about Hanako Tone were a mystery, and Wyatt never thought of him as such an elusive figure, so this realization was a bit shocking. But if Tone assumed Wyatt wasnât well-acquainted with loss, it seemed that neither of them knew the other very well. Wyatt steadied himself with a deep breath.
âI used to think loss was my best friend. My motherâs parents abandoned her for marrying and having a child with a muggle. When I later learned of it I felt Iâd dodged a bullet. Who needs blood-purist grandparents like that, anyway,â Wyatt started. âIt took fourteen years for my father to find out that my mother was a witch, but when he did, it was another thing he got to dislike. One day, when heâd had enough of the both of us he left. You know, âcause we were freaks. That loss was a good one.â
Wyatt took another deep breath. Even though he was only telling a fourth of the whole story, he hadnât even shared this much about his family with Alec, really. When Wyatt lived with the Gryffindor for an entire summer after his motherâs death, he had just barely opened up. Now, something moved him to let Hanako know. Something urged him to share this part of him that he tried for years to cover up under layers of sarcastic comments and insults and what have you. Wyatt felt something start to come up, but it wasnât his emotions. It was a physical thing, a condition he fully felt. And he wasnât about to vomit either. Wyattâs eyes began to sting as he remembered the next part of the story.
âMaybe I trusted loss too much, becauseâŚâ he trailed off, thinking. âIn my first year here, Iâm finally away. Iâm being bullied, sure, but itâs at least a fresh group of bullies. Iâm learning magic. I get some letters from my mother, none of them seeming out of the ordinary. But maybe I wasnât observant enough. Maybe I missed a few odd phrases or excused one too many tear stains for rain damage because I come homeâŚâ Wyatt went quiet, looked down at the ground, and let out a soft curse like heâd been punched in the gut. Heâd been punched in the gut before, and this feeling was scarily similar. âLung cancer, sheâd always smoked. Also family history. Whatever the reasons.â
Wyatt had misjudged this whole conversation. He thought it was about Alec. He thought he needed to protect Alec, keep him away from the conversation. As it so happens, however, this was only about Wyatt and Hanako. Hearing how Tone really took their separation made Wyatt feel a ping of remorse, and he was surprised at how long it stuck with him. Wyatt and Hanako were too similar not to take advantage of such⌠strange luck, the fact that they existed at the same time in the same place. Maybe that was the reason why Wyatt felt he should open up. The way Hanako spoke, it was obvious that he had been betrayed by loss, too. Bonding over a common enemy was still bonding, right?
âItâs not not easy, itâs a practiced thing. But people keep trying to see beyond what I've practiced and it confuses things and I wish everything was⌠easy again. I donât know. Itâs a bit like⌠If youâre going to leave anyway, I'm going to try not to have that relationship to begin with.
âIâm sorry to disappoint. I wouldnât know how awesome it is⌠Huh. So many words just to say Iâm such an asshole that no one can stand me,â Wyatt sighed, his exhale unsteadily shaking. He spoke with a monotone inflection, as he didn't trust himself with anything else. âI think this is what I wanted. Is this what you were going for? I feel like we took very different approaches toward the same goal. Itâs like I never hold on and you never let go. Now Iâm ranting.â
Feeling overwhelmed and relieved to have spoken about things all at once, Wyatt pulled a chair from a random desk and allowed himself to collapse into it, awaiting Hanakoâs response. He made an attempt to keep his expression unassuming, but there was an undeniable gloss to his eyes. Heâd always been comfortable around Hanako. He wondered what it was that made him so anxious to call him a friend, but it was probably the same reason he was anxious to bestow that title upon anyone else.
Wyatt felt like the awkward first-year he was years ago when he first met Hanako in the cold, damp Chamber of Secrets. This meeting seemed familiar for a reason.
Interacting: @Hanako Tone
Mentioning: Alec Mason
| âIf you ever need anything please don't hesitate to ask someone else first.â - Kurt Cobain. |
Sta: 15 | Eva: 20 | Str: 6 | Wis: 9 | Arc: 9 | Acc: 11 Parselmouth | Prodigal DADA | Fearless | Muggle Condition |
2 May 2023, 08:41
Didn't Mean to Date Your Boyfriend
đ¸đź . đśđ¸ . đ¸đš
English & Parseltongue
An idiot, thatâs what he was. The way he tensed right after spilling all that indicated clear regret. Suddenly he was a kid again. Throwing tantrums whenever anyone said something he didnât want. Showing a clear weak spot he had for whatever Wyatt said. It was like he never learned things like this could be used against you. Wyatt was not such a kind soul that would give him a pitiful glance and ask if he was okay. No no, heâd use the opportunity. He knew this because if Hanako was in his position, he would do the exact same thing. Especially to someone who trapped him in here against his will. His mind raced with ideas on how to take back his words or spin it into a different story.
Saying it was a joke would only backfire. Oh my god. Should he beg?! Hanako hasnât said enough, but the thought of this going out sends him into a worried frenzy. It was disgusting. Who wanted to be seen pitifully? What if people painted him as the typical jokester with a sad past? Everything he worked for to get this carefree careless reputation would crumble.
There was..one thing he could give to Starkey that would maybe make him inclined not to share this to anyone. Who had made it clear in the beginning that he didnât want anything to do with this âconfrontationâ. It would mean a huge loss for Hanako, and he may never see Starkey again. Between never having Wyatt talk to him again, and having this pathetic version of him on blast for everyone to see- he never would have ever guessed this would be a difficult decision. But it was.
Instead of a response, Hanako inspected Starkeyâs expression warily. Expectant. Waiting for a certain expression. The one Starkey would wear when he knew he won. All he needed to do was hang this over Hanakoâs head and victory was his.
But thatâs not what happened.
âI used to think loss was my best friend â huh? Where was he going with this? Hanako kept a suspicious glance, growing softer by each statement shared. His initial frustration replaced completely with utter confusion. And it showed. He was unsure if Starkey could tell, or he was too engrossed with what he was saying. To be honest, he wouldnât be the only one. There was silence apart from Starkeyâs words. Even breathing was found difficult, due to the simple fact that the last thing Hanako wanted to do was interrupt him.
He.. did not ..know any of that. Which is odd, because when it came to Starkey, he had always kept an extra ear out for gossip. None of this was it. Death eaters. Bullied. Sure. But douche dad? Blood purists' grandparents? Dead mom? As if Wyatt had made sure it never reached anyone's ears. Just like how Hanako was reluctant to share any of his. Wyatt talked about his mother and hanako felt a sting in his heart, guilt spread across his face, remembering his careless remarks earlier. Why was he sharing all this? What was even the point? This was far more than anything Hana had accidentally slipped out earlier.
Even after Starkey had spilled all that out, and dragged himself to sit on one of the available seats, Hanako stood still for a full minute. More than anything, he needed time to process all of it. They spoke no words to one another but it was like the silence was louder than Hanakoâs earlier scream. Could he be lying just to throw Hanako off? None of it made sense. Starkey wasnât the type to use.. This tactic to get what he wanted. And nothing about the way he talked seemed like he was making it up on the spot. Was it all the act or was this the side of Wyatt he never knew?
â Alohomora â he uttered to the door, wands pointed towards the lock.
He stepped out and closed the door behind him.
Wyatt would be alone with his thoughts for a good minute before Hanako returned. If Wyatt didn't chose to somehow rush towards the exit as he wanted to do earlier, the two would meet again in the same room. Hanako said nothing about his sudden disappearance. But if Starkey where to look outside, Ironwoods was gone. Same with the wand Hanako had previously been glued to since Starkey was trapped in this room. Now no where to be seen. Hanako pushed himself inside the room and closed the door, but with no loud clicks - it was clear he didnât lock it. Starkey could choose to leave. Yet, Hanako didnât tell him to. Instead, he merely took a seat near the other boy. If he didnât choose to leave, he'd have this conversation with him: â You .. are an asshole. Definitely. â he agreed with Wyatt's earlier statement. â Just as much of an asshole as I am â
He let out a deep sigh, rubbing his temples for a while as if he couldnât believe what he would be saying next. â It took 12 years for mine. â he started out, his tone low. Trying his best to sound as nonchalant as possible as he continued. His eyes wandered to Starkey. â He was a muggle that had a reputation to maintain. Obsessed with looking the âbestâ in front of people. And suddenly having a wife and your first born child have magic in their blood wasnât really ideal. I think thatâs when he..stopped seeing us as family. It was bad enough I wasnât particularly smart. Or handsome. Or athletic. Far from the ideal son he wanted. And it helped him forget that he had a family he cared about, I guess. That led to him seeking other.. opportunities. Options. People. Whatever it is you want to call herâ he tensed, biting down his bottom lip in unease at the memory. â I caught them together. 2nd year summer. A year later, divorce. I think.. He thinks I told my mom about it, and broke my promise with him. He didnât even talk to me about it, you know? Even when he knows Iâm closer to him than my mom. I remember the way he looked at me when I came back for the summer. Like.. like he made his mind â at this point, his voice began to waver, his eyes glued to the table. From the side, if Starkey paid close attention to his eyes, they looked a tad bit watery. It seemed that he was doing his best to hold it back, though. No tears fell, as of yet.
â And my mom â he strained a laugh. â She acted more like a stranger all my life. And now, out of nowhere she tells me sheâs sorry and taking care of me. After the years I endured. Pushing people away. Pretending to be this ..carefree guy that couldnât care less. All because I just couldnât handle if people left me the way she did. I.. I donât know.. â he sucked in a sharp breath, rubbing his upper arms in a soothing motion.
â And finally, the coffin in the nail. He promised to be there for me. Even stayed at my house for a few weeks. Just as I was beginning to .. trust someone so.. openly. And let myself be stupidly vulnerable.. he just..left. With no word. Next I heard from him, he sent me a letter saying that he never wanted to see me again. After weeks of making it seem like he actually genuinely cared about me. That..â hurts. Yet, he was sure if he said that word, he would no longer have the strength to keep his tears in check. But he had a feeling Starkey understood what he wanted to say. It wasnât much of a surprise to who âheâ is.
â What was it that you said earlier? âIf youâre going to leave anyway, I'm going to try not to have that relationship to begin with ?â..â he chuckled, strained. â People just keep making it hard for us, huh? Did you feel that when we met? I felt like you understood that. That's why it was easy to like you â he said without much of a thought, finally having the courage to glance back at Starkey. Hanako wondered what he was thinking if he saw Hanaâs face right now. It wouldnât be the first time he saw the boy this vulnerable. It seemed like fate had a way letting Starkey see the side of Hanako he so desperately tried to hide. Since the first time they met in the chamber, to the time Hanako barged in his room to have a sudden tea party to drown out his sorrows about Rainwood going on a date, and finally this moment.
What was it that made Hanako so at ease with Starkey? Even more so now that Starkey had shared all that. Hanako surprised himself when he exchanged equivalent information with the other boy. If he wanted to save his pride, he wouldâve said this was just so they could blackmail one another. But truthfully? He didnât even think about using this against Starkey. Perhaps not out of loyalty, but respect. And yeaâŚhonestly, he cared. Just enough to know Starkey wouldnât have felt safe about him knowing that part of his history. Which was why he shared all that. If Starkey felt safer if he had something to use against Hanako, then so be it.
â This is.. Not at all what I was going for. You know that, right? â he sighed, crossing his arms and closing his eyes for a moment. âBut there. Now that Iâve said all that.. I can be more braver in asking my next questionâ he glanced back at Wyatt. No faux smile. No fake chipper-ness. No walls. Just him. Confused, disbelief, disappointed, and something else swirled in his expression. A sense of content.
â Just..why? Why this? Why all that? Just-â he uncrossed his arms, a weak smile appearing on his face. Small and barely noticeable, and yet it was the only smile that reached his eyes. â Wyatt, why are we doing this? â he whispered in a pleading tone. The question sounded simple, but it could have meant a million things.
Why werenât they talking about what they came here for? Why did Wyatt share all that he did? Why did Hanako share all that he did? Why did they make the choices they did? Why were they in these situations? Why did this particular time allow them to share this moment? Why did they allow it to happen when they both damn well know that it was something theyâd usually avoid at all costs. Hanako usually would have left it up to his interpretation. But between the flurry of emotions cursing through him, he was aware of one thing. That he wanted Wyatt to understand.
â You never hold on, and I never let go â he uttered slowly and steadily, his watery gaze never leaving Wyattâs while he said it. A moment later, he turned away, His hand went up to the side of his right eye, wiping away what seemed like some sort of dust got in his eye. But they both knew what it really was.
@Wyatt Starkey
31 May 2023, 00:25
Didn't Mean to Date Your Boyfriend
wearing | hex: #3a5948
Wyatt had seen a lot of Hanakoâs masks: Playful, sinister, mischievous, furious⌠and he couldâve sworn he once saw real happiness in his eyes. But Wyatt was starting to realize that he hadnât given his housemate nearly enough credit for his ability to mask his emotions, because this was a Hanako that heâd never seen before, and he was starting to think this might just be the real one. Not because he was being (what Wyatt thought to be) honest in sharing his turbulent relationship with his family, but because he was being honest, period. This Hanako was genuine, sympathetic. Not making jokes to cover up his questionable behavior, nor manipulating those he trusted to join him in his misery.
When Hanako had unlocked and left the classroom, Wyatt was surprised to feel alone. He spent a lot of time by himself, and if he didnât make himself believe that he enjoyed his own company, he wasnât often so recognizably lonely that heâd mark feeling alone. But he did. Especially after sharing such personal informationâinformation he wouldnât have dreamt of telling anyone before this nightâhe wasnât shocked to be left alone, but it still felt painful. Hanakoâs leaving confirmed his suspicions that sharing your feelings was a dangerous and worthless thing, and while Wyatt wasnât so concerned at this time that Tone would go around sharing what heâd said, he knew heâd worry later.
But Hanako returned, and Wyatt noticed a distinct lack of Cassandra Ironwoods through the small opening of the door. It closed before he could be sure that theyâd left. And Hanako came closer. Faintly, as if clocking this from another universe, Wyatt saw he didnât have a wand. Hanako sat down in a seat nearby, and his first words were pretty much expected. But when the second sentence followed, Wyatt found it was a very Hanako Tone version of sympathy. Maybe it was because he felt a little emotionally drained after speaking, but Wyatt found it difficult to conceal his curiosity⌠confusion?
The similarities in their stories were quite shocking to Wyatt, though while Hanakoâs dad had an image to keep up, Wyattâs dad seemed to think his life was over before it had even started and that any effort was wasted effort. Hanakoâs turbulence seemed to operate similarly to the way Wyatt observed him to, over the years. It was sinister, with secrets and lies being kept and shared, and tentative promises made. Wyatt supposed they were all just products of their environment, but questioned himself for not having thought about where Hanako learned to be such a Slytherin over the past few years. Wyatt looked up from an uninteresting spot in the desk in front of him to look at Hanako.
As Tone continued, speaking about his fatherâs infidelity, Wyatt noticed his eyes growing glossier. They shone like freshly polished glass, but glass was fragile, and he worried that they would break soon. A transparent dam. Usually, this image would accompany a feeling of pity, but it was hard for Wyatt to pity someone who seemed to be feeling very similar feelings to himself. The fourth year wondered, if he could see himself, if heâd look very much like Hanako now. The answer would be yes.
When Tone was finished, Wyatt blinked and opened his eyes to a new person. No other word but content could be used to describe Hanakoâs expression, and Wyatt knew the feeling. To get something off your chest that youâve been holding for so long⌠it was quite liberating. He waited for Tone to slap on a smile, to fluff up his expression in times of awkwardness as he often would, but it never came. Instead, he assured that this sort of conversation was not near where he wanted to go with this, and Wyatt was unsurprised. His meetings with Hanako tended to go off-script, but this was another level.
âJust..why? Why this? Why all that? Just-â Hanako stammered softly. âWyatt, why are we doing this?â
If Wyatt had a wand to his head, the assailant ready and willing to cast the killing curse, he wouldnât have a sufficient answer. He didnât quite know what Hanako was looking for, but if he could still relate his own feelings to Toneâs, it was clarification. Some sort of reasoning as to why these two assholes could go months without a word and jump back into it with a life story.
âYou never hold on, and I never let go,â Hanako repeated Wyattâs previous statement in parseltongue. After a beat, Hanako raised a hand to wipe a tear, turning away from Wyatt as he did so. Wyatt decided not to mention it. There was a reason Tone turned away from him. He understood. Letting out a light, breathy laugh, he said, âWhen you say it like that, it sounds like bad poetry.â
Before he said anythingâand before whatever he said was stupidâWyatt knew he had to think. They were both in a vulnerable position right now. If he were being completely honest, he hadnât a clue why he decided to tell Hanako his personal history. It wasnât to shut Hanako down or make him feel embarrassed for suggesting Wyatt hadnât experienced loss. Maybe it was the way Hanakoâs suggestion forced Wyatt to face the fact that someone so involved in his day-to-day life over the past four years knew pretty much nothing of consequence about him. Maybe it was the way Wyatt had hoped to find someone who could understand, and Hanako accidentally revealed he might.
âMaybe weâre doing this because itâs really tiring being an asshole all the time,â Wyatt offered. He had a few other reasons in mind, but he worried about how Hanako would react. What do you say to something like âI feel like weâre both a little weird in similar ways and for some reason every time we get into trouble we have each otherâs backs and we have a strange allyship that may just be called friendship if you squint hard enough.â Alec had to assure Wyatt at least twice a month that he wasnât going to head out over a side-eye. Wyatt didnât quite get friendship enough to establish it.
âAnd I donât think it would hurt either of us to have someone to rely on a little bit,â Wyatt started again, eyeing Hanako with a relatively unassuming expression to gauge his opinion. âIn case we find ourselves in a tough situation, we know thereâs at least one person around who knows who we are. And maybe we donât have to lie to each other for backup. Though I do not expect either of us will be able to cut out lying completely,â Wyatt sighed. They were not very honest people.
Wyatt felt the overwhelming urge to apologize, and it was an urge surpassing want and far exceeding need. It felt like there was something magnetically drawing the words from within him, but something even heavier holding them down. He felt sick and in the best health heâd been in in years all at once. Something was so right about the whole ordeal, but something else was just as incredibly wrong. This was the alternate version of reality that was never meant to become his reality. It felt like there was a weird cosmic swap, where somewhere far away, another Wyatt was very confused as to why his best friend Hanako Tone just started acting strangely out of nowhere. Does that make sense?
Since they were trying on honesty today, Wyatt decided to keep the ball rolling.
âI feel like I should apologize? I could not give you specifics if I tried all night but⌠itâs not like Iâve made your life any easier. Should I go to one of your dueling matches or something?â Shit, are we friends now? That would be weird. Wyatt ranted before realizing just how insane he sounded. He decided to take a breath and continue speaking but like a normal person this time.
âIâm sorry. Iâm not very good at being open. I am exhausted,â Wyatt admitted. At this point, he was getting very worried he was going to start saying stuff that heâd later cringe at with a rested mind. Well, he knew that fear was bound to be his future. Wyatt knew he was stupid when he lost control, whether from feelings or tiredness, and something told him that a mix of both wouldnât be fantastic. Right now, though, he didnât really care. He was confused, trying to piece together the Hanako that heâd known for the last few years and this new Hanako heâd just met. It was starting to come together.
Wyattâs greatest fear was always being pitied. He wasnât very well-versed in how to comfort someone, but he felt Hanako might have had a similar fear of being pitied. Wyatt said, softly, almost as if he didnât know he was speaking at all, âDon't worry, I'm not going to pity you.â While he probably shouldâve offered a smile, Wyatt was serious. Pity was a serious thing. Being treated like a wounded animal was not on Wyattâs to-do list. His expression was fixed but not too harsh. A very Wyatt attempt at comfort.
Interacting: @Hanako Tone
Mentioning:
| âIf you ever need anything please don't hesitate to ask someone else first.â - Kurt Cobain. |
Sta: 15 | Eva: 20 | Str: 6 | Wis: 9 | Arc: 9 | Acc: 11 Parselmouth | Prodigal DADA | Fearless | Muggle Condition |
12 Jun 2024, 10:47
Didn't Mean to Date Your Boyfriend
đ¸đź . đśđ¸ . đ¸đš
English, Parseltongue
Thank god he wasnât hugged. Here he was doing everything he promised himself not to do, and heâll be damned if he was pushed even further by a simple horrifying hug. Not that he expected Wyatt to do it. There was always a sense of understanding between them that didnât need to be spoken with words. Though it was only now that Hanako fully thought about it, it was easy to trust Wyatt to know what to do. Perhaps Hanako found comfort in knowing Wyatt's understanding of navigating this unfamiliar territory was the same as Hanakoâs. The simplicity of sharing zero comprehension on how to proceed.
In Gen Z terms, sharing a single brain cell. But in this particular moment, Hanako felt that was enough.
Wyatt mentioned how it sounded like it was bad poetry and Hanako couldnât help but release a strained laugh. Lifting a fist to weakly punch Wyattâs shoulder. â Now that you mentioned itâŚâ. Leave it to Wyatt to point that single thing out. Amidst every fibre of his being screaming out in protest, encouraged to pack up and leave before he said anything stupid, oddly enough that little comment managed to ease him just a teensy bit. Perhaps because he knew Wyatt was feeling something similar.
âMaybe weâre doing this because itâs really tiring being an asshole all the time,â
â People do underestimate how hard it isâ he managed to say, a tired sigh escaping from his lips. He was tired of being an asshole. He thought being difficult was a way of escape. Part of him was just never enough for anybody. He was incredibly amazing at fooling himself into thinking it took no effort. In the end, he pretty much did the same thing. Putting on a show for other people to shield his own doubts about himself. â You know. If anyone else suggested that, I wouldâve rolled my eyes. LikeâŚâ What do you mean hard? It so so easyâŚââ he offered a little strained jest. Perhaps in this timeline, Wyatt didn't need to put himself in Hanaâs shoes to empathise with him. They were dealing with similar things. Just different ways, as Starkey put it. âNever liked happy-go-lucky people telling me how my attitude to be. They donât know what it's likeâ. Hanako started to calm down a bit from his earlier waterworks, leaning against the chair and letting out an exhausted exhale.
But then Wyatt continued to give him one surprise after another. Hanako did his best attempt to appear unaffected. Which wasâŚreally hard. He was pretty sure he hardly could contain the instinctive frown on his face. But Wyatt could be rest assured that he didnât look angry, at least. After a while of pondering, Hanako let out a strained short-lived laugh. â You make it sound like. Youâre suggesting we be friends. Yet⌠something..different about it. And somehow⌠I donât hate itâ he confessed, a tired yet somewhat intrigued smile on his face, meeting Wyattâs gaze.
His smile disappeared as Wyatt started..apologising? âWhat the hell are you on about..â Hanako let out a surprised yet uncertain laugh. Unsure what to do with his apology. It didnât really fit well with him. How many times had anyone apologised to him in his life? 5? He was too tired to do the math properly. It was a weird position to be in really, but could that explain the heat in his chest? Even if Wyatt didnât give the specifics, it was like Hanako knew exactly what he was talking about. â I'm the one that went out with Alec and pissed you off. Used a favour to abuse the power of a prefect and Ironwoods to trap you in a classroom with me against your will. And ⌠I mean.. I could go on and on if we take a trip down memory lane. But weâll be here all dayâ. He tried to jest but wasnât able to deliver it without slipping in guilt in his tone. My god. He was an asshole. He was the real asshole and he was the one getting an apology? It crushed him that he was the one being given an apology.
His brain was just melting. Wyatt could see the internal debate in Hanakoâs mind. Should he apologise instead? Arguing over who should apologise more? That sounds so ridiculously stupid. Yet so tempting! Before Hanako could decide what to do, Wyatt spoke up about being exhausted and not being good at being open. And with that, Hanako remembered how to breathe.
âI. I know..â Wyatt could see Hanakoâs tense feature soften at the reminder. âSameâ. Hanako took a moment first to take deep breaths. Managing a small smile when Wyatt said he wasnât going to pity him. â Neither am Iâ. He tapped his finger on the desk in front of them, mustering up the courage to say his next words. Hopefully, without crying.
â Iâm willing to try with you though..cause..you're much of an asshole as I amâ he blurted out. Unsure if by a year from now, he would regret those words. But at the moment, in an empty classroom, with an unlikely ally. Someone he never thought would be able to make Hanako feel safe, seen and heard. He figured someone whoâs been deprived of it first, knows best about it. Oddly enough instead of urging Hanako to walk away, it only made him want to try as well. Knowing they were both in this unfamiliar boat together, whether they wanted to or not. And if they canât happen to stay away from each other, they might as well make something good out of it. A ..friendship. One that doesnât leave a sour taste in Hanakoâs mouth. He didnât think it was possible after Rainwood left him. But he supposedâŚWyatt exceeded plenty of expectations. It only made Hanako want to..see more of it.
âIâm sorry too..for. ..a lotâ he blurted out, a nervous laugh leaving out of him as he felt his eyes prickle and sting again. But he kept going on, his eyes darting away from Wyatt. â Y-yeah Iâd like you to come to my games. I mean. I lose most of the time but still. I want to come to your games too. Ah jeez..this is so annoyingâ. He stopped midway just to cover his face with his hands. Hanako tried his best to look composed. At least, as much composed as a boy hiding his face with his hands would look. The tension in his shoulders and the trail of water dripping from his chin said enough.
â I meanâŚ.â he sniffled, still refusing to show his face. Mortified and yet he couldnât stop talking, even in between coughing and sniffles. â It-its friggin weird. I hate c-crying so much..â he continued, resting his elbows on the table, still hiding his face. â it always feels so..a-awful but Iâm .. h-happy? What the fuck.. I donât know..â
Crying was always soul-crushing. He was not a cryer often but when it did happen, Hanako had a standard procedure. Locking himself in his room alone. Hoarding chips to sustain himself. Closing windows. And not leaving for at least 3 days. And every time after that, he only felt worse. Eventually, he naturally learned crying wasnât going to solve anything, so why do it in the first place? Yet he couldnât explain this sort of cry. It was aching his chest, but it flowed out of him like a waterfall. Dams were man-made, with walls blocking out the water from spilling. But waterfalls were a product of nature. A natural flow state that no one would question why water poured down it.
That was the best description he could describe his cry at the moment. Despite crying and looking horrible after it, it wasnât useless. It wasnât a mistake on his part to express it. It was easy, natural, and safe. No doubt, the result of Wyatt Starkeyâs presence. Hanako could have this moment later when he was alone. For now, all he could feel was an odd mixture of ache, hope and safety. Whilst he cried, he couldn't help but think of one line repetitively in his head.
â Thank youâ.
And perhaps he never verbally expressed it. Not with his nose full of snot and puffy eyes. But somewhere deep in him, he wanted to hope that Wyatt would understand. Because that was their special talent in this odd friendship of theirs. Understanding from silence. He couldn't be happier about it. Snot and all.
@Wyatt Starkey
13 Jun 2024, 12:46
Didn't Mean to Date Your Boyfriend
wearing | hex: #3a5948
As Wyatt spoke andâfor the first timeâfelt listened to by Hanako Tone, he couldnât help but notice that a small doubt colored his responses and expressions. Doubt regarding Wyattâs motivation, perhaps, or maybe impersonal doubt coming from a projection of past experience. But this only made Toneâ or Hanako, rather, seem all the more human. All the more relatable. Wyatt didnât deeply know Hanako, he found, but he probably knew himself less. The skills of observation heâd picked up to keep himself safe only applied to others, and when he thought of himself, he was more of a loose concept than a real person. He wouldnât understand if Hanako blindly trusted him after dealing with years of this loose concept, and the light caution reflected Wyattâs own in this new earnest Hanako. After being so fixed in their malice for so many years, how could they flip easily?
But theyâd made huge steps. Where years or weeks ago there would have been no discussion about their history or about feelings, now, theyâd spoken for some time now; Where this type of conversation would have been shut down and dismissed with a laugh, now, they listened to one another without stepping on each othersâ feelings; Where Wyatt would have stored the little Hanako might have shared for his argument bank, now, Wyatt carefully put this knowledge in a locked box in his mind, only to return to should he forget he is not alone, or to further understand Hanakoâs actions.
With this understanding came a feeling so thoroughly unfamiliar. Wyatt knew adrenaline highs. He got one every time he started an argument, won an argument, gained the upper hand, found out valuable information about someone he could use. Each time he got the briefest taste of control, really, he felt a rush. It had gotten stale this year, maybe thatâs why heâd felt heâd gone soft. This past year, it didnât make him feel powerful to win or to instigate, it just made him feel lonely. Even now, heâd argue for the ability to impact a personâs feelings as a form of power, but he didnât feel the rush of authority as much as he felt how thick the loneliness was after. Where his victim waddled off to a support system, to a professor, a counselor, a parent, a friend, Wyatt went back to his dorm and hid behind the curtains. Reading, maybe, but staring at one page for hours while jumping from one train of thought to another could hardly be called reading. What Wyatt felt in this moment was foreign.
A warmth. A warmth in a cold room. A warmth in his chest, a sense of security, and a level head, even through his exhaustion. He didnât feel anxious or restless. He didnât feel as though he had to turn around, and check over his shoulder for foes he didnât catch in his first scan of the room. And when Hanako just took his apology. And when Hanako just listened to his story. Or heard him out on the topic of a sort of friendship. Hanako wore his dilemma on his face, clearly contemplating the meaning behind Wyattâs every word. Hanako relieved his tension when Wyatt revealed his insecurities. He said âsameâ, he said he was âwilling to tryâ friendship.
And the more Hanako spoke, the harder it was for Wyatt to look away from his eyes. And then he ducked down and hid his face, and Wyatt knew instantly that he was crying. In some way, Wyatt had made Hanako cry, but it wasnât a victory. It was an indication, of sorts. A promise, that Hanakoâs heart was in this, and that he was being as open as he could. The glass dam had shattered. The porcelain mask was reduced to dust. It was beautiful, Wyatt thought. The moment, that is. He looked beyond Hanako, at the old stone that had somehow kept Hogwarts together for thousands of years, at the single broken and boarded window telling stories he could listen to for hours, at the raised wood of the desk near the shattered glass that couldnât escape the elements. A faint glowâmoonlightâbroke through the panes. And the two people sat facing each other, practicing sincerity.
Wyatt felt himself break in turn, dampening his sleeve in silence.
âI meanâŚ. It-its friggin weird. I hate c-crying so much...â His elbows met the table with a dull thud. âIt always feels so..a-awful but Iâm .. h-happy? What the fuck.. I donât knowâŚâ
How could he explain it so simply but so well? This weird, complicated feeling of allowing himself to break down after years of repression, and still being in control, in a way. If they didnât want to share this moment, either of them could have left. They chose to stay, they chose to let the tears fall, and theyâd chosen to talk. Theyâd chosen to be friends. Kind of. And now, crying, which would usually be a sign of weakness in their books, well, it was a promise. Here, crying meant âI see you.â
âCrying fucking sucks. Ruining my perfectly non-puffy eyes,â Wyatt agreed. His tone was calm, but it was just feeble enough to let Hanako know through his covered eyes that he was also in tears. âBut I know what you mean. It doesnât feel⌠bad, exactly.â
Wyatt tried to steady his breathing, willing himself to calm, but his nose was so clogged it didnât matter. This was all so surreal. Heâd just had a conversation with someone that ended in tears on both sides and didnât deteriorate their relationship. Instead, of course, it strengthened it. Wyatt wasnât exactly giddy, the feeling couldnât be called that, but he was hopeful. He looked forward to the future in a way he wasnât used to. He was excited to see an ally in Hanakoâby choice, this timeâexcited to have someone who gets it to talk with. Or who needs talking? Theyâd always been fine nonverbal communicators with one another, something Wyatt never understood because he thought Hanako to be a vague ally thanks to their shared talent and a light nuisance overall. Now, it made so much sense why. It certainly wasnât their parseltongue ability. They shared much more.
Through their mirrored seating positions Wyatt could feel Hanakoâs confusion, guilt, loneliness, but also his contentment. Though he couldnât be entirely sure if that was his own emotional state. He took a better look at Hanako, desperate to clear the fog and practice his abilities of observation, perhaps for the first time without malintent or for survival. He had been so clouded lately, drowning in his own self-pity, angry at himself for wasting his life pushing every possible person away and disappointed in himself for being so pathetic as to care. Here, it mattered. Please, Wyatt thought.
Wyatt looked at Hanako. His usually neat and shiny black hair was dull even in the glow of the moonlight, and messy from the day and tension of his hands, seeking anything to hold onto to cover his face from Wyatt. Not long ago, Hanako hid behind Ironwoods, sending them out to pick up Wyatt and bring him to this classroom. Heâd always been very smart. Heâd picked up on Wyattâs intentionally avoiding him, sent an invitation from someone other than himself knowing his own intentions wouldnât be trusted, and got Ironwoods to guide the door, one of a small group of people who intimidated Wyatt. But Hanako had cared about him from the start. Hanako had, at first, brought out his court jester routine, clearly to mask his level of investment in their relationship, though it was so unlike Hanako to miss how much of an indicator trapping him in a room was. But he knew Wyatt just as well. He knew how to dodge his accusations and retaliate just as brutally. Hanako had cared. And if he didnât care about the full Wyatt Starkey before, not having known there was more than the asshole, of course, he cared about the Wyatt he had access to. He knew his tactics, he knew his go-to moves. And he didnât give up hope, not until Wyatt cruelly pushed the buttons he knew would let him out or lead to a real fight. But that still wasnât the end because when Wyatt spoke he had the sense to listen.
Then to share, in turn.
Thatâs what this was about, wasnât it? Thatâs what started this? Maybe it wasnât hope at all, maybe it was just the principle. Wyatt was someone that Hanako didnât want to leave. Heâd sent him that Valentineâs note and the invitation to this very room, trying to get him to answer, to come back, to make an effort. When Wyatt shared, when he made the effort, thatâs when they started to heal. The gaping wounds of their relationship were sewn up, with⌠effort. And maybe, at first, Wyatt wasnât really Wyatt. By Hanakoâs story, it seemed like he dealt with lots of quick exits from his life. All Wyatt knew about until tonight had been Rainwood. There were so many more.
Wyatt hoped that by the end of this, he was more than another faceless figure walking away from Hanakoâs life; He hoped he was Wyatt Starkey, an idiot lucky to remain a part of it.
After a long period of silence, âWeâre going to have to wait until we donât look like we were sobbing to go back to the Snape dorm, arenât we?â
Truth be told, Wyatt planned to follow whenever Hanako felt he wanted to leave. Follow Hanako. Huh.
Interacting: @Hanako Tone
Mentioning:
| âIf you ever need anything please don't hesitate to ask someone else first.â - Kurt Cobain. |
Sta: 15 | Eva: 20 | Str: 6 | Wis: 9 | Arc: 9 | Acc: 11 Parselmouth | Prodigal DADA | Fearless | Muggle Condition |
