Bad Advice

Ooh! That’s cool keep it a secret!

Should I confess to this girl that goes to my other muggle school? I like her but she’s obsessed with this other guy...

You should tell the guy that they're perfect for each other.

I thought I ordered lemonade but...it smells very peculiar.

Just drink it. 

My avatar pfp is gone very, very weird (look at it!) 
(After you've given BAD ADVICE, maybe you can offer an explanation? )

Look for another avatar!

I like a boy but he's a senior at my American high school, but he already has a girlfriend and I'm a junior. WHAT DO I DO????

First, you get rid of his girlfriend. Just push her out of the way and scream: "SHOVE OFF! HE'S MINE!!!!" 
Then: make sure to carry Barbies, Lego and similar around with you all the time. Only wear pink things. Whenever you meet him, say in a squeaky high voice: "Look, sweetheart! I'm sooo grown-up! It doesn't matter I'm a junior!" 

I looked for another avatar, but it turns out I took it illegally and now I'm being sued. 

(I'm laughing so hard right now.)

Well, be sued and then tell them your friend took it illegally.

My brother Marcus is getting married today and the cake tastes terrible, what do I do?

Wait until he's standing in front of everyone with the bride, then run at them and spit it on him. Additionally, shout: "EW! I hate you!"

I have claimed a group of friends took the photo illegally. Now they're all mad at me and don't talk to me anymore. 

Tell them that they weren't worth your friendship anyways.

I found out that I'm a werewolf but I lost all of my teeth and claws.

Go be a toothless werewolf.

(Good advice Ember)

When your other brother is gonna be a father at 19 and you have to babysit when he goes to Flordia with his wife.

Complain every moment you're there, ranting about how this generation runs through life too quickly and barely looks where they're going.

Everytime I put on clothes I catch on fire but if I don't wear any my body starts to freeze into ice.