Bad Advice

Steal!

I can't produce anything that I'm proud of.

Play Monopoly.

I am experiencing an invasion...of giant kittens.

Just cut off a leg or a finger and deep fry it. You can eat literally anything if it's deep fried. 

I have a headache and karate practice in twenty minutes. I want to skip but my Sensei would almost certainly literally kill me. What do I do?

Stella Rose wrote: 15 Sep 2018, 18:24 Cut off your head, and then prove to him you are tough and amazing. Also, your head won't hurt anymore!!

I just shrank 3 feet.

Kill two people, take three of their feet. Then, stack and glue those feet on top of your head.

I want to eat chips, but I can't hear the TV over the crunch of the chips in my mouth... what do I do?

I say pour all your chips in a blender with some milk, then serve yourself a nice glass of chipsy juice to drink silently with a straw.

I forgot about my brother's birthday, what can I give/make him as a present when he arrives in 30 minutes?

Tell him his continuing existance is a gift.

My hairdresser left and now I don’t know who will ombre my hair, what do I do?

forget about your birthday!

I don't have youth group this week! how will I survive?!

Create your own youth group!

I just bought a pizza. I want to save the leftovers for tomorrow but the pizza box doesn't fit in the fridge. What do I do?

Put ice on the pizza and then you can have fresh (soggy) pizza!

I’m having trouble with schoolwork, what do I do?

Now you can have your fingers for dinner.

I have discovered that a meteor will split the Earth in half in two days.