A Secret in the Study Room Closed

So John was unable to get a verbal response from the first year. Perhaps she was shy around authority? John was about to walk away and let the girl be when Stella unintentionally started a Rube Goldberg machine of school supplies. Pulling a chair caused a pile of books to fall over. As Stella went to clean up, the same chair knocked into the table, causing a hidden drawer to reveal itself. John only saw the secret compartment after kneeling down to help Stella pick up books.

"Woah cool!" John said as he went over to look into the drawer. "I didn't know these tables had secret stashes. I wonder if there's candy in this one?"

Naturally, John peeked inside to see if there was any secret stash. Sadly, nothing sweet remained in the dark corners of the compartment. Disappointed, John went back to what he was doing. He looked over to Stella to help pick up the fallen books when he saw the really old piece of paper haphazardly covered by the history textbook.

"Gee, I think we have newer paper somewhere in the school," John remarked. "I think I have some to spare if you need it."

John reached down to grab the history book and the piece of old parchment. As he reached over, his eyes glanced over at what was written. He found that he didn't recognize much on it. Did he really forget last semester's homework so quickly?

"What subject is this for anyway?" he asked as he picked it up for a closer look.

"Ooh, that sounds ominous," John remarked. "Well, that sounds like a job for Prefect John!"

By the time John was about to give his usual introduction catchphrase, Stella had already ran off with her books. She must have been spooked by the old set of notes. That didn't really make sense to John, but then again, he hadn't read through the notes.

"Now, what could have scared her off...," John muttered as he read the notes. According to the author, a fancy French man by the name of Flamel had written out a recipe for immortality. The Philosopher's Stone, as it was called, would allow a wizard to live hundreds of years past their natural lifespan. To have such a world-altering secret hidden in the study hall, well, was quite unbelievable.

When John looked through the rather simple list of ingredients, he couldn't help but laugh. He recognized the list very quickly as a practical joke. Judging from the age of the paper, it was literally the oldest trick in the book.

"This isn't for immortality. This will give you explosive diarrhea!"

Apparently, some sneaky upperclassman had disguised the recipe as one for the Philosopher's Stone. When a first-year came across it and attempted to drink the potion, there would be immediate regret and very soiled clothing. he had heard of the joke, but never a version so old. It was fortunate that he came across the recipe before Stella got any ideas of attempting it.

And so, John decided this wasn't safe for anyone to come across. He didn't want to clean up the mess resulting from the concoction. He crumpled the recipe into a ball and hid it in his pocket, where it would remain until he came across the nearest fireplace.

"Ooh, that reminds me, I gotta do some potions!"

And with that, John took the table to start his own studies. As he studied, he couldn't help but wonder what he would put in the secret compartment. Candy? Beetles? A picture of himself?

Clearly, nothing was gonna get done today.