Ugly Truths PV Finished

It hadn't been long since her return to Hogwarts had taken place, but she'd visited the library several times already, to either study or read. For today, it was the latter, and as she entered through the heavy doors, she decided for herself that she intended to stay there for a while.

She'd grown over the summer, if only by a little, but the course last year plus the summer months had added a good three and a half inches to her long-challenged stature, allowing her access to one more shelf in the library that she could reach now, as a Second Year-- the shelf that she'd struggled to touch just last year, when she'd met Rhea.

Every time an adult met a child again after an extended period of time apart, Cel had noticed, the first thing he or she tended to comment on was the child's height-- regardless of whether or not he or she had actually grown. It would grow annoying at times, but she was grateful for the extra range that came with it as she stood up on her tiptoes to slide a thick tome from its spot on the old, dust-covered bookshelf-- the shelf containing some of her favorite Muggle books. Back in the Ravenclaw Dorms, she could take any book that appeared on the magical bookshelf on a whim, and the ladder formation of the entire shelf thwarted height as an issue. But the girl did not want to embark on the trek up the Tower and through the Common Room to climb up the shelf only to hike all the way back down again-- no, the Hogwarts Library was far closer, far more convenient.

Crooked Kingdom, the volume's foiled letters gleamed up at her, by Leigh Bardugo. She knelt to set it on the ground by her feet before stretching up to grab another book-- Grave Mercy, by Robin Lafevers, a book she'd been meaning to read for a while but that she'd never quite gotten the change to obtain. Sheer luck had brought her to this particular shelf, where she'd found it resting in the magical school's rarely touched shelves.



It was on such an exit from the dusty, Muggle section of the library that she nearly crashed into a pair of seats with a pair of girls on them-- and, as she realized this, she dropped both her books. Cel staggered back in surprise, instinctively kneeling to gather her books into her arms. If asked, she would have blamed the books for distracting her from her surroundings; at least, she would have Cel had been a more audacious spirit. Instead, she stood to speak. “I’m so sorry,” the Ravenclaw apologized, regardless of the fact that she hadn’t actually walked into them.

Noticing, for the first time, the tears she could pinpoint in one girl’s eyes, Cel blinked in surprise. One of the girls was a Ravenclaw, one that she’d seen in the Lock-In, and the other Gryffindor, according to her robes-- the one who seemed to be crying, or at least who had been on the verge of crying.

”I-- are you all right?” she asked, uncertainly, of the Gryffindor. Right, her name was Aurelia-- Aura-- and she’d met her last year… in the Rehearsal Room, where she’d had the unfortunate opportunity of accidentally revealing her voice, her singing voice, to two strangers, one of which was Aura. Were she and this Ravenclaw-- Emma, she thought-- friends?

For a moment it occurred to her that she would not have liked to be asked what was wrong had she been in the situation, but the question was asked, and not everyone shared her own views-- in fact, very few people did. She only hoped that Aura didn’t-- after all, they had been in opposite roles before.

Deal.

The Ravenclaw had said. What had had she just gotten herself into? She was about to tell Emma, of all people something she never ever told anyone and something that she just found out herself only mere minutes ago. Even so, they were agreement and if Aurelia were to back out now, she would be a coward in Emma’s eyes.

She flipped the book open, right at where the photograph was slipped into. Tears stung eyes yet again. Now she really understood why her Mother wanted to rid of all the photos of Raphael. Getting teary eyed every time by the mere sight of a picture was not a good thing.

She tucked her already tucked hair behind her ear yet again. She needed to stop with that nervous habit of hers. She peeled her eyes away from the young face of her Brother and focused on her parents instead. Her Mother had blue eyes too but it was much lighter than the pair Aurelia had. Her facial features were much different too, she had a very sharp nose, a typical german trait. Her Father looked totally different from the girl, he had very dark brown- almost black- hair. He had green eyes and had a sharp squarish jaw. Aurelia had none of their traits, but how had the fact never bother her for 12 years?

I-- are you all right?

Aurelia turned as she heard the slightly familiar voice. It was another Ravenclaw, great, now there were two ravenclaws. Aurelia reconised her, she was the girl she saw at the rehearsal room, but Aurelia could quite remember her name. Even then, the girl could be a possible escape from a far to sensitive conversation she was going to have with Emma.

“Oh, yes I’m fine. You’re the girl I saw last year in the rehearsal room playing the piano right? Aurelia said, trying to push all the attention to the girl instead of her. She didn’t want give Emma what she wanted.

“I absolutely loved how you sang,” Aurelia said, trying urge the new topic to continued.

Emma watched, trying her hardest to control her breath, as the book had been lifted by the Gryffindor. It was nervewracking, the fear of the unknown was deadly in her eyes and to this day, it still was. Anything could have been locked inside of that book, but it was her job to find out whether she had been told to or not. It was more of a mental goal.

Looking down at the picture once more, everything seemed clear, well, picture-wise. She had more time to investigate the picture itself and she was looking forward to it. The topic must have been hard on her, it almost made her feel bad. Tears stained Aurelia's cheeks as she looked down into the picture, it was unbearable to watch.

A picture is worth a thousand words... She thought to herself. Looking down into the picture she felt emptiness, but it must have been genuinely impassioned for the girl. Even the brave had to cry sometimes. She watched and waiting for Aurelia to say something, but she just simply didn't. Almost as if it were a book, she was absorbing every single aspect of the picture. Nothing was said, absolutely nothing, and sometimes that was almost enough. Still, something in the back of her mind felt as if she were dawdling. She decided not to say something, yet.

That was until she heard a crash of books in the vicinity. Jumping instantly, she flashed a look in the direction of the sound, it was also a Ravenclaw. Mentally, she began to beam. There was always strength in numbers, there was no saying otherwise. She had seen her before, during the Lock-In. Celynne, that was her name. 

Her mind was instinctively taken off of the book and on to the Ravenclaw. "Are you alright?" She asked supportively, she didn't know which was better: staying in her seat to receive the information or helping the girl with her books. Of course, by the time she had made up her mind, the fallen books had already been retrieved from the library's ground.

"You’re the girl I saw last year in the rehearsal room playing the piano right?"

Emma scowled, mentally rolling her eyes, though it was for a number of reasons. They had already met, and well all of them had individually met on their own terms, did this mean they were friends? Now she was definitely trying to avoid both the journal and the small photo that seemed to trigger some form of an emotional breakdown inside her.

"Did you need help with your books? I'm sure it means a lot to you," she hinted to Aurelia, although she had been speaking to Celynne. It was far better than saying 'Aurelia, stop trying to distract me.' or 'Can we return to reading your secret stolen diary?'. She shifted her feet around nervously, accidentally colliding into the Gryffindors feet, she was intrigued to stomp as vigorously as she could on to them. 

If she was trying her best to be kind, it definitely wasn't showing, at least not to Aurelia. She came for two books, one concerning Transfiguration the other regarding the journal, not to waste time playing the Gryffindor's little game.

Conceal not the truth from thy physician and lawyer. Perhaps Cel was neither physician nor lawyer, but the truth was not difficult to determine, and the distraction was not difficult to ignore. "Clearly you are not all right," the girl pointed out with a slightly raised eyebrow. "I can see that. So can you."

Emma had spoken, it seemed. Instead of answering her seemingly kind-hearted question, she simply ignored it as well, hand fisting in her robes-- although she preferred to leave most troublesome situations alone, she never did so without finding out why those situations existed, an aspect of her ever-hungering curiosity that did not often serve her well. "Is she okay?" the young Ravenclaw asked the other girl pointedly-- if Aura wasn't going to give her an answer, then she would get it elsewhere.

Actually, that was an idiotic question. After all, Cel had just told Aura quite bluntly and quite firmly that she was not all right, and all right was synonymous with okay. "Or rather, what's wrong?" What's going on would also be a legitimate question at this point-- she had no clue what had happened, only that someone was upset, someone else was aggressively trying to help, and someone else-- Cel-- needed to know what in inferno was happening. It struck her that she wanted to help, an emotion she did not feel often. It was shallow, but it was there: the urging to want to help someone in need, a feeling that must have made itself known after a past year of concentrated and attempted-avoidance social interaction.



But she'd gotten herself into this situation; she'd see it through before getting herself out. The books were bundled safely into her arms by now, and the girl took a couple of small steps toward the two-- standing was making her high-arched feet hurt, not to mention the height difference was awkward, although not so awkward as those of normal height would be.

Now she placed herself on the third chair by the two, perched on the dark cushion beside Aura. It was far more difficult to remove someone from a conversation when he or she was sitting down, and even more when he or she had gone out of their way to do so, Cel had observed of Parker's usual company, even as she had rarely been in such a situation of her own. It was like a declaration-- I'm here, and I'm listening, and you'll deal with it. The declaration, then, was made. She only hoped that they would hear it; abide by it.

It wasn't hard to tell that the Gryffindor had been lying, her body language was fairly easy to read. Her red bloodshot eyes, followed by tears streaming down her cheeks. The strange secretive behavior. All of it was caused by a simple picture, or better, a book? There was something Aurelia had been refusing to tell her, and she was going to let it out to either herself or both of the Ravenclaws. She didn't care, she wasn't going to blab, but she couldn't say the same for the other.

She wasn't surprised to hear the Ravenclaw, Celynne ask the million-dollar question, except it was for herself. Not Aurelia. How was she supposed to answer that, she had been sworn to oath, and she was a keeper of her promises, no matter how easily she could lie. "It's about her personal life and some picture that seems to bring back so much."

A siren wailed inside of her head, perhaps she had said a little too much. Part of her didn't mind blabbing her secrets to the Ravenclaw, another felt furious, presumably the part Aurelia had planted inside of her with fake tears. Despite her feelings, she still wanted to continue to tell Celynne about Raphael's diary and the mysterious photo that didn't seem to line up.

The clues were driving her insane. She tried to fill her mind with the nonstop sound of footsteps wanding around the area. Looking from pillar to pillar that bordered the bookcases, she looked to the window. Looking outside to the blue sky and occasional owl and flyers zoom past the window. Did that occur every day?

Emma found herself thinking hard about the situation rather than the girls themselves. Brother's stolen journal, and heartwrenching picture. Who would have broken down to see their family, well broke down into tears. Especially in the library, full of wandering students, much like herself. Then it hit her. A family member had died, but which one? Placing a fist to her cheek, she laid her elbow down on to the table in front of her.

"I think she'll be fine, just needs someone to talk to." The words made her want to vomit. It scared her even more, that she had said the statement in a tone so casually, it wasn't her typical voice she knew. "Would you like to stay? The more the merrier, I suppose." She ended with a question, as she asked the fellow Ravenclaw. Beaming internally, she continued to gaze out the window, distracting herself once more from the penetrating look of the Gryffindor's eyes. There was no dodging around the question this time. Good luck Aurelia. 

Aurelia’s features twisted into a scowl when Celynne has asked if she was alright. Her attempt at diverting the conversation proved not to be effective. Of course, these Ravenclaws had higher intelligence, they could easily identify distractions and lies. Aurelia didn’t like the very bit of it. She was trying to get off the hot seat and yet the person she thought she had an opportunity given to her now was pushing her into the seat. It even made it worse when Celynne had asked Emma the same question.

Aurelia’s icy cold eyes pierced through the ravenclaw’s. Trying to deliver the messages long the lines of ‘don’t do it or else’ however, the dark haired girl did not even look in her direction. It was possible that it was eyes what what she wanted to ignore. She didn’t want Emma to answer for her for she knew the answer wouldn’t be pleasant to her ears. The last she wanted was another curious Ravenclaw to entertain and present her secrets to both of them like a photo book with pictures of a family filed into its pages.

As she expected, Emma had did just that. She had answered for her. Aurelia wanted to walk off as soon as she did. But the attention was all on her now. Emma clearly wanted to make her life miserable especially when she asked the other Ravenclaw to stay and Celynne actually did, she walked closer and stood right beside her seat.

“Well, since you Ravenclaws are so nosy, I guess I do not have a choice now.” Aurelia had said folding both of the arms. She turned her body back towards the table where her book remained open, the picture nestled on its pages. Aurelia angled the book so the picture faced Emma she couldn’t bare to see her Brother’s face as it only brough tears into her eyes.

“You’re right. My brother looked like my parents however, they do not look like me.” She stated the obvious.

“Only recently, when reading his journal, I discovered...” She couldn’t bring herself to tell them but she wanted to give them the answers to give the curious Ravenclaws their questions and get it over with so she could leave the library which now seem worse than askaban.

“I discovered... that I’m adopted. ” her words were barely audible as it squeaked at the last word. Tears filled her eyes, she wasn’t her parent’s daughter, and that fact stung her.

Clearly, Aura was upset. Clearly, her preferences did happen to match her own, a matter of misfortune-- too bad. But even more clearly, Emma had asked Aura already, probably; either way she'd have to talk about it, whether it was to Cel, to Emma, or someone else. It would be good for her, likely, however much of a anathema dreamer she sounded like, but sadness in others made her uncomfortable, much like attention made those on stage anxious.

Pictures-- She'd had her fair share of those. The cameo and decal of her mother on her locket. The Polaroid instant picture, framed with white plastic, of Rasmus Gray-- her father, a label she was not yet accustomed to using. Then there was this one, a photograph she craned her neck to stare at-- a boy, it seemed, probably not Aura's father, but someone similar. Emma had asked her to stay, and even if she was being used as an instrument of peer pressure, she was inclined to agree-- after all, she was curious as well.

And thus she was surprised, although none of her shock showed on her trained face, at the word Aura next muttered, after a briefly unpleasant description of Ravenclaws: adopted. This was a position she had been in only partially, yet still it hit her in the stomach like a hurled stone-- Cel was simply very skilled in hiding pain.

Hiding, of course, as she did now-- steeling herself to push away the memories, as she had started to learn to do, and store away the pain that accompanied it for another, more suitable time. Aura was already in tears; no more were needed in this conversation, much less a flashback.

"Aurelia," Cel began hesitantly-- comfort, especially of the social kind, was not part of her skill set. She was unfamiliar with social interaction, always had been-- homeschool, memory wash, university-- despite Parker's and now Dorian's and Rasmus's attempts to throw her in the other direction. Still, her skin was pale from lack of sunlight and her social skills remained unbothered.

But she would try. "Aurelia," she called softly, trying her best to get the Gryffindor's best alacrity. "Why do you cry now? You may be adopted, but blood means nothing compared to family. Family above all, familia ante omnia. Blood doesn't make family, Aura." This was what she did when she was uncertain: she drew from those of the Dead Language, perished over time. Latin was an encyclopedia in itself.

"You know what? I was partially adopted too, before this summer. I haven't known my parents-- parent-- parents. I still don't know them, not really. But your family is your family. Have they not loved you?  Have you not loved them in return?

"That, not blood, is what makes family. I found my blood father this summer, but he is not family, not yet. Do you remember my name? All of my name?" she finished faintly. It was more speech than she had allowed out of her mouth for the past three days-- and better use for the words than what she might have said in those three days.

Awaiting an answer, she held what he would reply with in her mind-- it was more than she'd ever told anyone in one sitting, other than Dorian, of course, and more than her usual speech. She'd bared a sliver of her story, just as she'd seen a sliver of Aura's.

It had been a while since she had last made eye contact with Aurelia, so naturally, she glanced in her direction. After a smart remark of being called nosy (which was true), she chewed on her lower lip, trying to ease some of her suspicion towards her. She did, in fact, have a choice, but none of which were acceptable in her manner. 

Trying to keep a straight face, which had been covered by worry and curiosity, her eyes wandered from the two girls. She had no idea what they were going to say, but somehow, she didn't really mind. Anything that came out of Aurelia's mouth would have surely been dramatic and mindboggling, but now that she was expecting it, how did she actually react?

Her eyes looked down into the book that had been almost purposely shown to her. Emma hadn't recognized any of those people, not that she should have. Three (almost) identical people, and one that simply just didn't seem to fit the picture, literally. As if the girl child had been perfectly cropped into the picture inside of the journal, it just didn't seem to make sense. Almost like a penguin inside of a blazing hot desert.

I discovered... that I’m adopted.

The words hit her. Aurelia Bezuidenhout was adopted, and that surely had bothered the Gryffindor to an extent. A very deep, emotional state. It wasn't difficult to tell why. She clapped her hands over her mouth to prevent something between a wail and a gasp from coming out from her mouth, but surely, a gasp would have been softer. Temptations filled throughout her mind. Surely she couldn't say something ignorant and obscene like 'Oh my goodness, you're adopted!' in front of the whole library. Although she didn't find anything rude about the sentence, the Gryffindor always expected something rude or false to come out of her mouth, she didn't blame her.

Thankfully, Celynne had spoken first, she had also been adopted, well partially adopted. What exactly did that mean? Adopted by one parent without the consent of the other, that simply just did not make any sense to her. 

She couldn't lie and say that she had also been adopted, there's was nothing about her family. She was an only child, if anything, she would have loved to have been adopted, no matter how ungrated that sounded in her opinion. All she could do was nod and agree with Celynne, keeping her mouth glued shut. Still, trying to make her words sound genuine to Aurelia, she agreed. "You've had many memories with them, haven't you? Aurelia, they are your real family, whether you believe it or not."

They had all exposed parts of their family, now it was her turn. That was going to be hard, she didn't know anything about her past. Just that she had come too close to death in her younger years, giving her a sense of security from harm or danger. She wanted to make something up off the top of her head, but she just simply couldn't.

"You're lucky to have a brother that cares about you, even if you aren't biologically related. I never had anyone to fight, play or run around in the backyard with, or even to help with chores." She turned the journal so that it now faced Aurelia. "He is your brother."

At last, the truth had been finally spilled. The tears followed. It was humiliating to be a Gryffindor crying in front of two Ravenclaws. But they had asked, pressured even into the truth with now laid in the open for them to throw any comments into.

The only thing Aurelia wanted to do was to take the book and scurry away as far as she can from the two. They now knew her secret, the secret she had only found a few minutes ago. But that was what they wanted didn’t they? She had given it to them and that meant she could leave.

Aurelia turned the cover page of Raphael’s Journal closed, which Emma had been still examining the picture. The brunette slipped the aging book carefully into her bag. There wasn’t much for her to say now so she would leave. There was also the silence and tension now in the air around the three that it urged Aurelia to leave from the seat even more.

“Aurelia” Celynne had called her softly. Her voice soft yet demanding for her attention to be turned. Still, Aurelia ignored, she wiped the streaks of tears from her freckled face with the dark sleeve of her school robe.

“Aurelia, The ravenclaw spoke again, forcing the Gryffindor to look in her direction reluctantly.

Blood doesn’t make you family. The Ravenclaws words, were comforting, the way she spoke were all through her knowledge and experience. Family wasn’t defined by blood. She did love her Ma and Pa and loved her brother even more, even when he wasn’t around, he stayed close to her heart. That was what defined family.

The Celynne shared that she was partially adopted, the word Partially confused the girl a bit. She had also asked if she knew her name. Aurelia knew her first but not her last.

“ Celynne, I don’t think you gave me your last,” The brunette stated.

It wasn’t long before Emma spoke, she expected something harsh, but that wasn’t so. Her words were genuine, but she didn’t seem like the girl she knew, maybe people change over the course of the two month summer break.

Another question had broke the silence, her brother, a topic she had always attempted to stay away from, still it always came searching for her.

“He was my brother.” the words came out choked with sorrow and more tears. She should have left when she had the chance.

Beast easily recognizes another beast. Perhaps they were not beasts, but one orphan could know another, too. Memories flashed across her mind, wistful and framed by blue mist and wisteria, the smell of burning candles and old parchment-- but they did not overtake her, did not pull her away. From this she gained a small spark of satisfaction, glad to have at least this small element of control over her mind.

Memories of Dorian on the train, Svana's harsh ruby heels, Rasmus's now-sapient grey-blue eyes, Natalia's cascade of transparent black hair, lively even in death, Nia's smile to her, warm and motherly although they were not technically related by blood, Parker's paternal face from when she first saw his pocket-watch-- who even carried pocket-watches anymore?-- and tried to take it. Asher's furious glower sprang up, a sort of afterthought, and she quickly shut off her train of thoughts, unconsciously reaching a hand over to rub at the scar-- scars-- on her side.

Aurelia's brother-- she caught on the past tense of Aura's seemingly innocent reply and tightened her jaw. Although she'd met Dorian barely a month ago, she couldn't imagine losing him any more than losing her flashbacks forever. What she could imagine was losing something, someone, that she had loved dearly, most of all someone who had loved her back. And... deodamnatus, she was crying again. Cel herself very rarely spilled tears, except in mourning-- of what, that was not limited. Perhaps Aura was grieving, too. Instead of acknowledging it, Cel only continued, speaking in ever-gentler tones to match the numbness that came with the tears, as if the salty water washed out emotion with it.

"Surname," she murmured, an errant thought that she quickly realized would make no sense to anyone but herself. "Last year, I would have told you my name was Celynne Flores." The young Ravenclaw paused, folding her hands in her lap, not certain if she wanted to continue or not-- but if she did not, what position would be she left in? There really was no other choice. She surged on: "But today, my name is Celynne Gray."

"Are you perhaps familiar with the name Dorian Gray? I did not know I had a family until this summer. My mother is gone, but I have a brother, now." Indeed, it was a unique kind of pain to bring her hopes up into the stratosphere with the thought that she might be finding one of her kin, the woman of whom she was borne of-- only to find that she was dead. And her father of blood-- he was not her true father, not yet... but maybe one day she could hope for it, and not be disappointed. It was a different kind of pain when Natalia had appeared to her in the night, with Nia, as Dorian had came to find her in her nightmare. To be separated by Letum, by Morta, yet tantalized by Trivia.

"Frater-- brother-- of blood or not, he is gone. You've heard about the dead living in our memories or what ever else people say, I would assume. The truth is, all you can do is get over it, because nobody would want another to stop his or her life just because that nobody is gone from it. Actually: you're not going to get over it, not really, but you can keep going, and that's all there is you can do." Words of wisdom indeed, wisdom she didn't know that she needed until the words had made their way out of her mouth. And this was why those who met her would describe her secondary house as Hufflepuff, but those who knew her would dictate Gryffindor-- and on that, she agreed.