Hiding in Plain Sight Finished

Lara barely considered the questions before speaking. She was in too good of a mood, now, with the promise of friendship - because to Lara, anybody she could get on with for more than a couple minutes at a time was considered a friend - to keep her words from spilling out unchecked.

“I like to draw, as you already know, and I love swimming ‘cause we live on the coast at home, and I’m on the swim team and stuff, and I like rugby but I’m terrible at it, ‘cause I’m kinda small and it’s easy to push me around, and I love Quidditch, too, and flying, even though my dad won’t let me go any higher than, like, ten or fifteen feet high at home.” She paused to take in a deep breath. “And I like school, a lot, and reading and learning stuff, but school isn’t really a hobby, so.” She shrugged. And then she realized she was rambling, a lot, and forced herself to move on - even though, realistically, she could have kept going for quite some time. If there was one thing Lara was good at, it was talking.

“I’m excited for Defense Against the Dark Arts the most, I think, even though I’ve heard that the professor’s kinda scary. And Charms, too. I don’t know if I’ll be any good at potions.. I’m definitely gonna suck at History.”

History. She was dreading it, actually. There was something about it that she had just never been able to get into, and when she wasn’t involved in a class, she couldn’t absorb any of the information. Even if she did well in-class, based on her short-term memory, she was totally screwed for the final. All those stupid dates and names got way too mixed up to make any sense. Like somebody had put her notes into a blender. Ugh.

At least, with DADA and Charms, she could be actively involved in the class. She was bad at siting still, and any opportunity to move around was welcome with open arms. Casting spells? Yes, please.

When she managed to pull herself out of her own thoughts, Lara immediately glanced over at Amaya, hoping that she hadn’t been annoyed by Lara’s jabbering. But the other girl just looked… lost. Concern pricked at Lara’s chest.

“Hey,” she said, when Amaya had opened her eyes, keeping her voice friendly. “You good?”

Amaya gave Lara a half-hearted smile. “Sorry, sorry, just... A little distracted. I often think too much.”

Amaya laughed, giving Lara a more sincere, apologetic look, before her mind wandered once more. “Would it be okay if I laid down? Sorry, I know this is totally unrelated...”

Amaya gave her a sheepish smile, and shifted her position. “So, swimming? Quidditch? I think flying’s pretty fun. But... I’m deathly scared of heights. It’s just the feeling of HELP HELP HELP IM GOING TO FALL TO MY DEATH HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEE LOOK WHY AM I SO HIGH UP IN THE AIR HELLLPPPPP! Otherwise, I’m sure Flying is great. I do enjoy it slightly, once I get a little past the fear, but... I’m just really paranoid of falling down forever and forever. And swimming? I suck at swimming. I can’t even swim. I can only do ‘Breaststroke’. And I’m not even good at that...”

Amaya shifted her position once more, growing slightly restless with the urge to just fall onto the grass and stay there, hoping the sun wouldn’t blind her eyes. But she didn’t know if that was considered rude, though she definitely knew yawning was, and Amaya had to keep herself from overthinking it and settled for a awkward smile.

“Would it be okay if I laid down? Sorry, I know this is totally unrelated…”

“Yeah, of course!” Lara replied, waving a hand vaguely. If she found the request odd, she didn’t show it. “Whatever floats your boat.”

She laughed a little at Amaya’s description of how she felt flying. Lara herself couldn’t relate, really; she’d been on a broom since she could walk, and if she’d been scared when she first learnt, well, she couldn’t exactly remember it now. But she could still understand why Amaya felt that way. For anybody who hadn’t grown up with it, flying probably seemed pretty dangerous.

“Flying’s not so bad once you get used to the feeling,” she assured Amaya. “I mean, you’re in charge, you know, not the broom. It’s like… driving a car. That’s plenty dangerous, and probably more unreliable, too, since you’re controlling a huge machine and not your own magic or whatever But everybody still drives cars, right? Except for us, I guess. And everybody else who’s too young. That’s not really the point.”

She paused, looking out once again at the lake before her. Talking about swimming made it incredibly tempting to wade into the water here, but she was almost entirely certain that going into the Great Lake was against the rules, and she wasn’t willing to risk it. Lara talked big for somebody so afraid of getting in trouble.

“I’m only good at swimming ‘cause I grew up by the water. Where’re you from? England? Lots of kids here seem to be English.”

Amaya plopped down in happiness, giving Lara a content smile. “Yeah, Flying is much more interesting then driving. It seems a little less hard, too... Honestly, with driving, you have to pay attention to so many things, always alert, and thought you have to be careful when’s Flying as well, it’s a little more relaxed.”

Amaya paused, and reluctantly spoke. “I’m from Taiwan, actually. Came here when I was three. That’s why my English is good for someone who’s First Language is Mandarin. Also, Taiwan is not part of China...”

Amaya offered Lara a weak smile. She had always felt like her face branded her as different, different, different, and though her last name hid her, somewhat, she’d always hated the soft jokes behind her back, sometimes to her face, and Amaya glanced away once more. She’d always loved her last name because it showed no hint of her race, a race she was proud of but yet hated for how it had marked her. In Hogwarts, she had finally been free. No one was laughing at her anymore, except perhaps laughing at Slytherin, and she was finally free. For once. In a way.

Amaya refocused her attention on Lara, and gave her another smile, this time more willing to speak on the topic. “I’m also half Hakka.”

“You’re from Taiwan? That’s so cool! Do you get to go back sometimes? To visit?”

She’d heard the reluctance in Amaya’s voice, and although a small part of her was whispering drop it in the back of her mind, her curiosity quickly overwhelmed her common sense.

The idea of being from somewhere far away was just so… Exciting. Lara had been born and raised in the same house. She’d only ever left the country to visit her mother’s parents in France, and even then, she’d been too young to remember much of anything from the trip. She didn’t think it really counted.

Plus, Lara was half Welsh, half French. There was nothing cool about being Welsh when everybody else was Welsh, too, and nothing great about being French when you didn’t even get to live in France. She realized she was fidgeting too much and flipped to a new page in her journal, scooping her pencil up so she could doodle while they talked.

Lara knew what Taiwan was, had seen it on maps and learnt about it in school, but Hakka was an unfamiliar term. She considered it on her own, for a moment, before giving up.

“What’s Hakka mean?” she asked, hoping Amaya wouldn’t be annoyed she didn’t already know.

Amaya paused. “We used to, when I was still around six or seven and my sister was still in Hogwarts, mostly to visit family as Taiwan’s pretty small. Not anymore, though. And the Hakkas are a type of people that inhabit Taiwan. They moved to Taiwan in... I think... The twelfth or thirteenth century.”

Amaya wasn’t exactly fond of talking about the Hakkas, as Father was one. Amaya grimaced. After having a taste of what it was like, away from her parents, she wanted nothing to do with them. Ever. Their approval still appealed to her, but she buried and slammed at that part of her who craved their approval, chipping away at If with everything she could. She paled at the thought of Samhain and what it would be like to have to return there.

“Anyways, what about you? Where are you from? I’m sorry for making it all about me...,” Amaya apologized, bowing her head slightly, mostly a habit she had from younger years. Running a quick hand over her right ear, she let the small point calm her, reminding her of who she was and how she couldn’t get caught up in her past. After all, if she spent all her time in the past, she would never advance in her life and become someone she wished to be.

It was funny how easily things gotten to her, now. What happened to the countless days of hiding tears underneath a unbreakable mask, the countless days of standing tall and proud and unreachable? Every single little thing would trigger a memory or too, and she decided she would have to work on her mask more often. Hogwarts was starting to change her, into a fragile little girl. Amaya sat up in determination, for a single second, before returning to the comfort of the grass blanketing her. She would perfect her mask once more, and she would not let anything get to her anymore. This she was sure. Amaya finally smiled, a smile that was a bordering on the edge of genuine and tipping dangerously into fake.

‘I hope Lara doesn’t notice.’

A single thought that reminded her of a certain someone she’d chased away by “trying too hard”, as she put it, by trying to mask something up with a smile. Amaya’s smile dropped instantly, and her expression was blank once more as she stared into the water, all progress forgotten and once again, empty.

This was how things should have been.

“I’m sorry.”

Amaya suddenly stood up, gave Lara a apologetic smile, and hovering around for a moment, she suddenly left, darting through crowds of people with as much skill she could muster. She shouldn’t be here. She should be perfecting her mask until it was Perfect, Perfect and unseeable. She’d spent to much time spoiling herself. Who was she kidding? Freedom was fake, a small taunting thing that laughed at her, so unreachable and seemingly so far away. No. She would never truly be free.

Instead, she would trick herself and everyone else into thinking that she was free of something that had never been there.

Amaya smiled. Yes. That was good. That was perfect.

“Oh, I’m pretty boring. Born and raised in Wales, ‘cause that’s where my Dad’s whole family is, although my mum and her parents are from France. I don’t remember which part, exactly.” She shook her head, glancing up from her doodles to shoot Amaya a grin, even though mentioning her mother made her feel a bit uneasy. “Nah, don’t worry about it! I talk about myself all the time.”

Lara did tend to talk about herself too much. She’d become more aware of this since she’d gotten to Hogwarts, now that she had to get to know new people and make new friends, and it annoyed her. She could feel herself rambling, and hear the words coming out of her mouth, but she just couldn’t stop them. She needed some kind of buzzer or something to let her know when she exceeded a certain amount of words so she could shut herself up. She rolled her eyes at herself, doodling a flower on the corner of her page.

When Amaya didn’t respond right away, Lara looked up again, this time in concern. To her surprise, Amaya didn’t even look like she’d heard anything Lara’d said. She was just gazing out at the lake, her expression alarmingly void. Empty. Lara shut her journal and set it down on the grass, shifting closer to the other girl.

But before she could open her mouth to speak - the words Are you okay? were on the tip of her tongue - Amaya stood up, abruptly, and Lara automatically flinched back.

“Amaya?” she asked cautiously.

But the raven-haired girl only turned and bolted, leaving Lara alone on the lawn, her back to the water.

Was it something she’d done? She hadn’t been trying to be offensive, when she’d asked Amaya those questions about where she was from, but maybe she’d been being more insensitive than she thought. Probably, it just wasn’t something that Amaya had wanted to talk about to a girl she’d just met. Lara cursed herself silently. She’d gone and scared off this poor girl, probably ruined whatever friendship they might’ve had. God, she was stupid.

She gave a soft sigh, pinching the pendant of her necklace between her fingers for some sort of reassurance. When she could no longer make out Amaya’s form, slipping through the throngs of students out enjoying the warm weather, she turned back to the lake, suddenly feeling too exhausted too pick up her pencil again, and closed her eyes. For once, she needed to be alone with her thoughts.