20 Jan 2023, 01:28
Thrills & Chills Bash
Mature themes.
Reducio
"So it is the wand that's the problem, then?" questioned Ginyami. Shaking his head, Valentin’s eyes narrowed as if to block out the concept.
“That’s only how it appears on the surface. Deep down, it is my fault. Sure, the wand doesn’t give as much as it takes, but what kind of leader am I if I can’t show convincingly what is necessary for its wish to come true? Certainly I can’t bend the universe to fit what the wand wants, but it’s my job to use my eyes and explain where the hard lines of reality are. Sensing fundamental structure is exactly how I find the loopholes for breaking limits. Most people just think the barriers are impervious, stiflingly close, and unchangeable, so they stop looking for the answer.” With a sigh, Valentin raised a hand to his furrowing brow. “If I can’t inspire my own wand to cooperate, how am I supposed to bring together even more stubborn wills? I’m just not doing enough to help it understand, like I am probably failing to see reality, too. Maybe it’s me that needs to get over my reluctance to cast so… recklessly. I do carry guilt, and I am not sure that I should even be using magic. Repeating the mistakes of my past even once could kill people. Yet, somehow, I have to learn the right lesson even if it’s the hard way. The wand may be trying to teach me how to overcome these problems, so I can’t let arrogance get in the way.” Valentin tugged at his hair as stress cracked around his eyes.
"Are you in the habit of always blaming yourself?" Ginyami laughed, raising Valentin’s gaze. The seeker smiled, nodding with gratitude and that unusual glint of pleasure from before.
“That’s how it seems on the surface only. Usually there are many ways to accomplish something, and many ways for me to improve. Learning how to fix my own flaws and heal my own wounds first shows me how to help others next. Sometimes they face the same problem that I did in the past, and I just got there first. If I become complacent now and blind myself to all the ways I can improve, then I won’t be able to help people overcome such things in the future. You see, in blaming myself, I find ways for others to fix the same problems when they recur. Sometimes people face something new, and then I try to see through their eyes and find another angle, but even then, something I learned before often helps us find unexpected solutions. I can’t be a true slave to the wand’s demands because I’m busy trying to serve reality. Hopefully this helps the wand much more than obeying it. After all, this is the only way to make what seems impossible possible. That’s the difference between stupidity and insanity again: repeating mistakes versus seeing them anew again and again.” Valentin smiled only briefly before a wince of guilt singed through his chest at the memory of Mikael’s dogmatic rejection of him a month prior. Their relationship had never been the same since, however optimistic the seeker tried to remain about finding a good way forward.
The conversation flowed on, and with its tide Valentin drew close to Ginyami once more. It was only a matter of time until chills ran through the tempted frost captain. Yet, with the boy returning his touch and bearing his shiver, Valentin forced himself back with a murmur. At this rate he couldn’t restrain the colddrake’s hypnotism much longer. Then again, how much power over it did he have even now? Perhaps none of this was real and it was the burning amethyst of his eyes enthralling Ginyami, compelling him to say what Valentin wanted to hear, to touch him just as he longed to be touched?
"What about the colddrake?" asked the fox. "Is it that burning cold again? The cold you mentioned before?" The Mahoutokoro boy’s breath whispered through the Durmstrang’s hair, evoking the memory of his finger just as lightly running across his clavicles. Even without a hand on him, Ginyami’s ministrations reverberated within Valentin’s head and maintained their phantasmagoric hold.
Does he not see the very monster before him? I haven’t warned him clearly enough. He can’t really see me, can he? He doesn’t know the danger he’s in. Not only averting his closed eyes but shielding with one hand, Valentin felt as if his eyes would burn through all his flesh and bone. Electric currents shivered across his body as the danger beckoned him forward in concert with Ginyami’s warmth. I promised… It’s just too soon. One day I will be free. First, I’ll make it alright for us to be together, keeping you safe, I’ll make it alright…
“Ah… forgive me. It, yes, it’s… It’s alright. Please continue.” Despite wanting to explain further, Valentin knew that sharing more of his feelings could melt the last of his resolve. To the seeker’s relief, the Japanese boy helped ease the topic back onto the task at hand, much as Valentin usually dreaded the topic of food. Summoning the warmth of simpler days, Valya accepted Ginyami’s grape game. Such a risky physical gambit was exactly what he needed to distract himself from the struggle within.
"Oh, so you must be quite practiced, then. Balanced on a tightrope? Oh my. Then this should be a piece of cake for you, should it not?" Ginyami’s sly smile drew the seeker’s eye, but Valentin only shook his head.
“No, not at all. You see, that was before I… developed this problem. Those days were long ago, and now… there’s you. Watching. Waiting. Perhaps even needing. The grapes never changed, but now everything is different. I don’t know if I can do it, but I have to try. Please, Ginyami. Let’s play your eating game and I’ll try to remember what it was like as a child when I had none of this anxiety.”
Knowing that even a single mistake would be indelible from this sacred moment, Valentin flicked his fingers in and out, as if urging the cold out of them could be the narrow difference between success and failure. Still, it was not yet time, as Valentin had not answered the fox’s most recent question. Staring into his scarred palm, the White Immortal explained how dying introduced him to an even more thrilling game than earning ever-brighter limelight. It was not long, however, before such a dangerous topic dangled a new lure before him that proved too powerful to resist.
“I want you to tell me… Do you think people are fundamentally alone in life, whatever that might mean to you?”
Caught up in the slipstream of his most fraught of all possible questions, Valentin let go of his restraint. Plunging his hand into Ginyami’s hair, the seeker pulled him into an embrace and laid his face alongside the boy’s beautiful, warm neck.
“…Please. I need your purest truth.” Stribog help me. I can’t help myself.
As the Mahoutokoro boy closed his eyes and pivoted his raven-haired head, Valentin knew his doom was upon him. Lips brushed against his ivory neck, and with fingers slipping into a tangle with his snowy hair, Valentin fell captive to Ginyami’s sway. The seeker's lips fell open with enjoyment as he gave himself entirely to the full force of the moment.
"My purest truth... To be honest...yes. I think people are fundamentally alone in life." Ginyami’s eyes opened to stare down at the ground, but he maintained his grasp on the back of Valentin’s head. "You said so yourself - that the bonds you thought you had made when you were younger turned out to be more tenuous than you had thought. I think that is because the majority of people tend to be selfish and to only look out for themselves when all is said and done. When a rare person like you comes along, trying to look out for others, there is no one left to look out for you. That, I fear, may be one reason you keep encountering dangers like your brushes with death. You are too concerned about saving others to think about saving yourself."
“There is no one left… there is no one…?” Valentin drew in a long breath at the base of Ginyami’s neck. If he is saying this, then… Rotating to plunge his face into the boy’s shoulder, Valentin felt the world dissolving around him. I have a choice of how to respond to this. Just… hold on… A thrumming pulse filled the seeker’s ears, and the telltale feel of an adrenaline dump told him that he was falling. Slipping down, down, down regardless of how the Mahoutokoro boy moved, Valentin found himself on his knees without meaning to. “Alone?” Breath catching in his throat, the pale seeker began to cough. “After all this time… there is no one…” Squinting as he looked down at his scarred body, Valya realized he was shaking. “No one?”
After Valentin’s parents were gone, there was Yefim. Looking down at the gold ring on his middle finger, Valya smiled into a grimace. “We three are one, right?” swam the memories. “I need you. Both of you.” Wasn’t Valentin always a tool to the champion, despite their unification? “Valya, you pathetic creature… Get stronger, but for the whole of us. If I accept your life as mine, I can't have you throwing it away.” Was Yefim alone? Even if Valya was no good, how could Yefim be alone when he had Mikael’s devotion?
“Stop talking about him as if you understand him. I'm the only one who will ever understand him!” yelled Mikael. “You are not worthy of his time.” Yet, they both wore a perfect golden ring. “We bleed the same ruby red into the sacrificial bowl. Don't you agree? The boy’s ocean eyes swam with such haunting darkness. “Valentin wake up. I need to show you something.” It was not always as bleak as it was now, right? “Light it is okay, I think.” No, Mishenka, it’s not okay. We’re not okay. I need you to see this. You’re sick, Mikael. You and I, we are both... “A light can't save a drowning person, Valentin. I don't know if I want you to understand, Valentin. Valentin. I cannot take Yefim. No one can. Yefim does what he wishes. It is just that his wishes coincide with the two of us. We are a part of his plan, the two of us. We are the sword and shield that he holds as he goes into battle.” Mikael surely understood Yefim better than anyone. We are both tools, aren’t we? Fine, but what about… who, Romeo?
"Valetin..." No, he never even explained why Valya wasn’t enough. "We leave anyways. We cannot stay here much longer." Why did you leave us, Romeo? You didn’t even say goodbye. At least he answered that day in the gym, with his fist. Yet, it seemed the vagabond came home only to leave again. "Which one? I've had too many." Such a one as Valentin couldn’t be a home for him, only one more point along his journey. It was never about Valentin in the first place, not even after his confession, nor on that crystal ledge, nor on the day Rome saved him. He was just doing what born healers did. "You keep giving, Valentin," he kept warning. "I don't think you owe me anything anymore." Had Valya ever felt more alone than after he met Romeo?
Yes. Now.
Hands dropping to touch the floor of the hallway, Valentin stared at Ginyami’s foot. The platform sandals – as if to elevate the boy away from the dirt – Valentin couldn’t see the point of them. Surely even these shoes got as dirty as the rest. Valya could still hear his mother scolding him. “Valyusha, don’t point your feet at the fire. No, don’t put your feet towards the guests either. Malchik, don’t you understand? Your feet are dirty.”
The Tatar boy just didn’t care anymore, not after what Ginyami had just said. Laying down and resting the side of his face atop the Japanese boy’s foot, Valentin curled up into a cold little ball. Well, as little as a 5’10” lanky athlete could be, anyway. He just wasn’t a child anymore. His body was covered in the scars of passing years, and memories accumulated just as surely.
“There is no one left, you say,” whispered Valya, accepting Ginyami’s words. "Does the woman let her best white cloth get used to clean a smudge on the dirt?" Mikael once asked. It was only now that Valentin understood how the dark-haired boy really meant the words at the time. With horror, Valentin recoiled, but somehow… perhaps through his hypnotic amethyst gaze, he’d still convinced Misha to open up that night, just as he got Romeo to set free his inner demons, just as Valentin learned that fateful day in the library when he discovered the pleasure of bleeding for others… or were the newspapers right, and for all his claims of heroism, Valentin was only ever getting hurt for his own selfish wish for attention? Maybe his mother was right, that time when she made him cry by accusing him of manipulation. Maybe Ginyami was right, too. What had Stribog showed the meager albino that day?
I cannot be alone if there is no me, Valentin thought as he began to cry. Yet, I move the stars for no one. Clutching Ginyami’s ankle, only brute force had any hope of prying him off as he wept into the boy’s foot. Lungs heaving with the torrential downpour streaming from his eyes, the white king knew he had made quite the mess of himself this time. Valik, get up. You said you would play his grape game. You’re supposed to eat. Get up off the ground now… Valik… The sobbing wracked him harder as he thought of how Sergei would scold him for this. Not only Durmstrang’s white king of Hexiwizard, not just their famed seeker, but the frost captain idolized by so many around the world… lay in a foreign hallway curled up in a shivering ball and clinging to the leg of a boy he couldn’t help wanting to seduce, and all in public. Up Valik, he scoffed at himself. You’re supposed to eat, Valik. You said you’d play the game. You’re not scared, are you? Hell-Chaser? White Immortal? Living bludger, Valentin Schnell, still alone after all these years. What is this even all for? Why Stribog bothered to bring me back, I can’t even fathom.
Valya’s tears ran dry, but he did not want to stop. Clenching his stomach, he willed the tears to come back. Was this what it was like to be Misha, consumed by pain but unable to release it? Relaxing his muscles at last, Valentin’s cheek sank down into the ground beside Ginyami’s foot. If Mikael had just another ounce of endurance that day, maybe he would have ended Valentin. Yet, here Val was, miraculously alive yet again, ready to eat away the pain and burdens of others if they would only ask it of him. "Do I scare you?" Mikael asked that night. Even now, Valentin could only say no, he was just afraid of losing the ones he loved… afraid of being alone. "She left me!" echoed Mikael’s agonized cry. Valentin could almost smell the blood running through his nose from each time his life seeped away in sacrifice to the demons of those he loved. No, no… I won’t... leave you... "I never want to see you again Valentin. Do you understand me? I never want to see you again! I do not associate with such."
Quieting down, Valentin latched his fingers onto the straps of Ginyami’s sandals. Certainly Valya was flawed, dirty, and dangerous, but all he could offer was himself. As monstrous as he was, or as any of them were, he still loved them all: Yefim, Mikael, Romeo, Sergei, Ginyami. His team, his fans, his enemies. No, the terror of being existentially alone was simply unacceptable. If Valentin could only ever tear down one more limit, he would choose this.
“I will prove you wrong, Ginyami, if it’s the last thing I do. Even if it means sacrificing everything else, I will make it so that you, at least, are not alone anymore.”
“That’s only how it appears on the surface. Deep down, it is my fault. Sure, the wand doesn’t give as much as it takes, but what kind of leader am I if I can’t show convincingly what is necessary for its wish to come true? Certainly I can’t bend the universe to fit what the wand wants, but it’s my job to use my eyes and explain where the hard lines of reality are. Sensing fundamental structure is exactly how I find the loopholes for breaking limits. Most people just think the barriers are impervious, stiflingly close, and unchangeable, so they stop looking for the answer.” With a sigh, Valentin raised a hand to his furrowing brow. “If I can’t inspire my own wand to cooperate, how am I supposed to bring together even more stubborn wills? I’m just not doing enough to help it understand, like I am probably failing to see reality, too. Maybe it’s me that needs to get over my reluctance to cast so… recklessly. I do carry guilt, and I am not sure that I should even be using magic. Repeating the mistakes of my past even once could kill people. Yet, somehow, I have to learn the right lesson even if it’s the hard way. The wand may be trying to teach me how to overcome these problems, so I can’t let arrogance get in the way.” Valentin tugged at his hair as stress cracked around his eyes.
"Are you in the habit of always blaming yourself?" Ginyami laughed, raising Valentin’s gaze. The seeker smiled, nodding with gratitude and that unusual glint of pleasure from before.
“That’s how it seems on the surface only. Usually there are many ways to accomplish something, and many ways for me to improve. Learning how to fix my own flaws and heal my own wounds first shows me how to help others next. Sometimes they face the same problem that I did in the past, and I just got there first. If I become complacent now and blind myself to all the ways I can improve, then I won’t be able to help people overcome such things in the future. You see, in blaming myself, I find ways for others to fix the same problems when they recur. Sometimes people face something new, and then I try to see through their eyes and find another angle, but even then, something I learned before often helps us find unexpected solutions. I can’t be a true slave to the wand’s demands because I’m busy trying to serve reality. Hopefully this helps the wand much more than obeying it. After all, this is the only way to make what seems impossible possible. That’s the difference between stupidity and insanity again: repeating mistakes versus seeing them anew again and again.” Valentin smiled only briefly before a wince of guilt singed through his chest at the memory of Mikael’s dogmatic rejection of him a month prior. Their relationship had never been the same since, however optimistic the seeker tried to remain about finding a good way forward.
The conversation flowed on, and with its tide Valentin drew close to Ginyami once more. It was only a matter of time until chills ran through the tempted frost captain. Yet, with the boy returning his touch and bearing his shiver, Valentin forced himself back with a murmur. At this rate he couldn’t restrain the colddrake’s hypnotism much longer. Then again, how much power over it did he have even now? Perhaps none of this was real and it was the burning amethyst of his eyes enthralling Ginyami, compelling him to say what Valentin wanted to hear, to touch him just as he longed to be touched?
"What about the colddrake?" asked the fox. "Is it that burning cold again? The cold you mentioned before?" The Mahoutokoro boy’s breath whispered through the Durmstrang’s hair, evoking the memory of his finger just as lightly running across his clavicles. Even without a hand on him, Ginyami’s ministrations reverberated within Valentin’s head and maintained their phantasmagoric hold.
Does he not see the very monster before him? I haven’t warned him clearly enough. He can’t really see me, can he? He doesn’t know the danger he’s in. Not only averting his closed eyes but shielding with one hand, Valentin felt as if his eyes would burn through all his flesh and bone. Electric currents shivered across his body as the danger beckoned him forward in concert with Ginyami’s warmth. I promised… It’s just too soon. One day I will be free. First, I’ll make it alright for us to be together, keeping you safe, I’ll make it alright…
“Ah… forgive me. It, yes, it’s… It’s alright. Please continue.” Despite wanting to explain further, Valentin knew that sharing more of his feelings could melt the last of his resolve. To the seeker’s relief, the Japanese boy helped ease the topic back onto the task at hand, much as Valentin usually dreaded the topic of food. Summoning the warmth of simpler days, Valya accepted Ginyami’s grape game. Such a risky physical gambit was exactly what he needed to distract himself from the struggle within.
"Oh, so you must be quite practiced, then. Balanced on a tightrope? Oh my. Then this should be a piece of cake for you, should it not?" Ginyami’s sly smile drew the seeker’s eye, but Valentin only shook his head.
“No, not at all. You see, that was before I… developed this problem. Those days were long ago, and now… there’s you. Watching. Waiting. Perhaps even needing. The grapes never changed, but now everything is different. I don’t know if I can do it, but I have to try. Please, Ginyami. Let’s play your eating game and I’ll try to remember what it was like as a child when I had none of this anxiety.”
Knowing that even a single mistake would be indelible from this sacred moment, Valentin flicked his fingers in and out, as if urging the cold out of them could be the narrow difference between success and failure. Still, it was not yet time, as Valentin had not answered the fox’s most recent question. Staring into his scarred palm, the White Immortal explained how dying introduced him to an even more thrilling game than earning ever-brighter limelight. It was not long, however, before such a dangerous topic dangled a new lure before him that proved too powerful to resist.
“I want you to tell me… Do you think people are fundamentally alone in life, whatever that might mean to you?”
Caught up in the slipstream of his most fraught of all possible questions, Valentin let go of his restraint. Plunging his hand into Ginyami’s hair, the seeker pulled him into an embrace and laid his face alongside the boy’s beautiful, warm neck.
“…Please. I need your purest truth.” Stribog help me. I can’t help myself.
As the Mahoutokoro boy closed his eyes and pivoted his raven-haired head, Valentin knew his doom was upon him. Lips brushed against his ivory neck, and with fingers slipping into a tangle with his snowy hair, Valentin fell captive to Ginyami’s sway. The seeker's lips fell open with enjoyment as he gave himself entirely to the full force of the moment.
"My purest truth... To be honest...yes. I think people are fundamentally alone in life." Ginyami’s eyes opened to stare down at the ground, but he maintained his grasp on the back of Valentin’s head. "You said so yourself - that the bonds you thought you had made when you were younger turned out to be more tenuous than you had thought. I think that is because the majority of people tend to be selfish and to only look out for themselves when all is said and done. When a rare person like you comes along, trying to look out for others, there is no one left to look out for you. That, I fear, may be one reason you keep encountering dangers like your brushes with death. You are too concerned about saving others to think about saving yourself."
“There is no one left… there is no one…?” Valentin drew in a long breath at the base of Ginyami’s neck. If he is saying this, then… Rotating to plunge his face into the boy’s shoulder, Valentin felt the world dissolving around him. I have a choice of how to respond to this. Just… hold on… A thrumming pulse filled the seeker’s ears, and the telltale feel of an adrenaline dump told him that he was falling. Slipping down, down, down regardless of how the Mahoutokoro boy moved, Valentin found himself on his knees without meaning to. “Alone?” Breath catching in his throat, the pale seeker began to cough. “After all this time… there is no one…” Squinting as he looked down at his scarred body, Valya realized he was shaking. “No one?”
After Valentin’s parents were gone, there was Yefim. Looking down at the gold ring on his middle finger, Valya smiled into a grimace. “We three are one, right?” swam the memories. “I need you. Both of you.” Wasn’t Valentin always a tool to the champion, despite their unification? “Valya, you pathetic creature… Get stronger, but for the whole of us. If I accept your life as mine, I can't have you throwing it away.” Was Yefim alone? Even if Valya was no good, how could Yefim be alone when he had Mikael’s devotion?
“Stop talking about him as if you understand him. I'm the only one who will ever understand him!” yelled Mikael. “You are not worthy of his time.” Yet, they both wore a perfect golden ring. “We bleed the same ruby red into the sacrificial bowl. Don't you agree? The boy’s ocean eyes swam with such haunting darkness. “Valentin wake up. I need to show you something.” It was not always as bleak as it was now, right? “Light it is okay, I think.” No, Mishenka, it’s not okay. We’re not okay. I need you to see this. You’re sick, Mikael. You and I, we are both... “A light can't save a drowning person, Valentin. I don't know if I want you to understand, Valentin. Valentin. I cannot take Yefim. No one can. Yefim does what he wishes. It is just that his wishes coincide with the two of us. We are a part of his plan, the two of us. We are the sword and shield that he holds as he goes into battle.” Mikael surely understood Yefim better than anyone. We are both tools, aren’t we? Fine, but what about… who, Romeo?
"Valetin..." No, he never even explained why Valya wasn’t enough. "We leave anyways. We cannot stay here much longer." Why did you leave us, Romeo? You didn’t even say goodbye. At least he answered that day in the gym, with his fist. Yet, it seemed the vagabond came home only to leave again. "Which one? I've had too many." Such a one as Valentin couldn’t be a home for him, only one more point along his journey. It was never about Valentin in the first place, not even after his confession, nor on that crystal ledge, nor on the day Rome saved him. He was just doing what born healers did. "You keep giving, Valentin," he kept warning. "I don't think you owe me anything anymore." Had Valya ever felt more alone than after he met Romeo?
Yes. Now.
Hands dropping to touch the floor of the hallway, Valentin stared at Ginyami’s foot. The platform sandals – as if to elevate the boy away from the dirt – Valentin couldn’t see the point of them. Surely even these shoes got as dirty as the rest. Valya could still hear his mother scolding him. “Valyusha, don’t point your feet at the fire. No, don’t put your feet towards the guests either. Malchik, don’t you understand? Your feet are dirty.”
The Tatar boy just didn’t care anymore, not after what Ginyami had just said. Laying down and resting the side of his face atop the Japanese boy’s foot, Valentin curled up into a cold little ball. Well, as little as a 5’10” lanky athlete could be, anyway. He just wasn’t a child anymore. His body was covered in the scars of passing years, and memories accumulated just as surely.
“There is no one left, you say,” whispered Valya, accepting Ginyami’s words. "Does the woman let her best white cloth get used to clean a smudge on the dirt?" Mikael once asked. It was only now that Valentin understood how the dark-haired boy really meant the words at the time. With horror, Valentin recoiled, but somehow… perhaps through his hypnotic amethyst gaze, he’d still convinced Misha to open up that night, just as he got Romeo to set free his inner demons, just as Valentin learned that fateful day in the library when he discovered the pleasure of bleeding for others… or were the newspapers right, and for all his claims of heroism, Valentin was only ever getting hurt for his own selfish wish for attention? Maybe his mother was right, that time when she made him cry by accusing him of manipulation. Maybe Ginyami was right, too. What had Stribog showed the meager albino that day?
I cannot be alone if there is no me, Valentin thought as he began to cry. Yet, I move the stars for no one. Clutching Ginyami’s ankle, only brute force had any hope of prying him off as he wept into the boy’s foot. Lungs heaving with the torrential downpour streaming from his eyes, the white king knew he had made quite the mess of himself this time. Valik, get up. You said you would play his grape game. You’re supposed to eat. Get up off the ground now… Valik… The sobbing wracked him harder as he thought of how Sergei would scold him for this. Not only Durmstrang’s white king of Hexiwizard, not just their famed seeker, but the frost captain idolized by so many around the world… lay in a foreign hallway curled up in a shivering ball and clinging to the leg of a boy he couldn’t help wanting to seduce, and all in public. Up Valik, he scoffed at himself. You’re supposed to eat, Valik. You said you’d play the game. You’re not scared, are you? Hell-Chaser? White Immortal? Living bludger, Valentin Schnell, still alone after all these years. What is this even all for? Why Stribog bothered to bring me back, I can’t even fathom.
Valya’s tears ran dry, but he did not want to stop. Clenching his stomach, he willed the tears to come back. Was this what it was like to be Misha, consumed by pain but unable to release it? Relaxing his muscles at last, Valentin’s cheek sank down into the ground beside Ginyami’s foot. If Mikael had just another ounce of endurance that day, maybe he would have ended Valentin. Yet, here Val was, miraculously alive yet again, ready to eat away the pain and burdens of others if they would only ask it of him. "Do I scare you?" Mikael asked that night. Even now, Valentin could only say no, he was just afraid of losing the ones he loved… afraid of being alone. "She left me!" echoed Mikael’s agonized cry. Valentin could almost smell the blood running through his nose from each time his life seeped away in sacrifice to the demons of those he loved. No, no… I won’t... leave you... "I never want to see you again Valentin. Do you understand me? I never want to see you again! I do not associate with such."
Quieting down, Valentin latched his fingers onto the straps of Ginyami’s sandals. Certainly Valya was flawed, dirty, and dangerous, but all he could offer was himself. As monstrous as he was, or as any of them were, he still loved them all: Yefim, Mikael, Romeo, Sergei, Ginyami. His team, his fans, his enemies. No, the terror of being existentially alone was simply unacceptable. If Valentin could only ever tear down one more limit, he would choose this.
“I will prove you wrong, Ginyami, if it’s the last thing I do. Even if it means sacrificing everything else, I will make it so that you, at least, are not alone anymore.”
Reducio
Stats: STA 8 ✦ EVA 14 ✧ STR 2 ✦ WIS 15 ✧ARC 1 ✦ ACC 15 - Ency
Abilities: Keen Eye ✦ Charmer ✧ Evasive Maneuvers ✦ Fearless
Valentin's English = #CC3333; Russian = #992314; Tatar = #1F0402
Interacting with @Jack Burnett
Last edited by Aida Mòrsgor-Ama Ellwood on 22 Jan 2023, 05:42, edited 1 time in total.
22 Jan 2023, 01:48
Thrills & Chills Bash
Word count: 230/200
Interactions: Kim • Hiro
@Kim Sato
The ball was coming to an end, and people seemed happy, contented with how their evening had been. The ball had been a smashing success, and Bailey had enjoyed herself.
Kim had truly outdone himself, and Bailey was glad she had convinced him to hold it.
Kim address the crowd, telling them that they could take a gift bag and they’d be free to go, or they could stay!
Bailey planned on being the last person to leave, and then to help Kim to pick up.
Bailey walked around, smiling at people and thanking them for coming.
this way Kim has less people to deal with… and still knows what people think!
Bailey spotted an old friend, one who was not from Hogwarts. “Hiro!!” Bailey called out to the younger boy, waiving. She made her way over to him, to stop and say “Hello!!” and to ask “How are you? How has school been? How is quidditch going? Did you enjoy the party?”
Bailey was overflowing with happiness and joy at seeing her friend, and was glad she had spotted him and had come to say hello.
After she and Kim were done cleaning, If he let her stay and didn’t kick her out, Bailey would smile and say “this was amazing, you outdid yourself! Everyone seemed to have a lot of fun, and the spider games was so fun!!”
we are all born beautiful. it is a tragedy we are convinced that we are not”
iNPC: Lloyd Matthews Thomas
Main account: Bailey Glade
22 Jan 2023, 02:42
Thrills & Chills Bash
Ginyami considered how the Durmstrang student had referred to both blaming the wand and being in the habit of blaming himself as only what it seemed on the surface. Deeper down it seemed like he was using the wand to teach him his shortcomings and attempting to take responsibility for those shortcomings by trying to acknowledge and overcome them. Well, Ginyami could respect that. But while he thought he understood where Valentin was coming from in taking responsibility for what one might have otherwise blamed on his wand, he didn't think that necessarily meant Valentin wouldn't have benefitted from a different one - one more suited to him, perhaps. However, he chose not to comment on it just then. If Valentin wanted to work on his relationship with his current wand and learn and grow that way, who was Ginyami to suggest he do otherwise?
His smile regarding Valentin's presumed ease at the grape-catching game slowly dissolved when Valentin explained that it would not be so for him now as it had been in the days of his younger childhood. Still, he was glad the seeker insisted on trying to see if he could still do it. Ginyami sincerely hoped the activity might bring back something of the days before the situation changed for Valentin. If only he could just forget the world and eat like normal again.
The Japanese boy watched the Turkic one flick his fingers and stare at his scarred palm as he spoke. It was then that he asked Ginyami his 'purest truth' regarding whether he thought people were fundamentally alone in life. Ginyami gave it as best he could, but he could not have expected what was to follow.
“There is no one left… there is no one…?”
The black-haired boy hesitated, wondering if he had said the wrong thing. Valentin had asked for his purest truth, though, and that was what he had given him. Was this what came of being totally honest with a person? In that case, wasn't it better to just say what they wanted to hear?
“Alone?” A few more seconds found Valentin on his knees on the floor and Ginyami, alarmed, bent to be near him. “After all this time… there is no one…” he heard him say amid coughs. The Durmstrang boy's body was trembling and Ginyami's brows steepled in concern. “No one?”
I should have made him eat while I had the chance, the fox thought, looking at the grapes still in his hand and wondering if his companion had grown delirious from hunger. Clearly Valentin couldn't stand being alone, but this was more dramatic a reaction than Ginyami had ever anticipated. He watched the other youth grimace at his gold ring and wondered what was going through his mind.
"Valentin...I am sorry. I am sorry if what I said upset you. Please, don't take it to heart. You are probably different. You still have many friends and allies who care about you, I am sure - people I don't know well or don't know about." He gingerly put his free hand on the seeker's back, wanting to comfort him but unsure quite how to do it.
He wanted to ask Valentin to look at him, but the captain was staring at his foot. Before he knew what was happening, the alabaster king lay himself down on the cold, hard ground and pressed his cheek against Ginyami's foot, causing its owner to stiffen in surprise. "Valentin? Valentin-san?" he tried, running his hand along the curve of his back as he curled up into a ball.
“There is no one left, you say,” the whisper came, but it was what followed that caused Ginyami to despair even more. Tears rained down and dampened his socked foot as Valentin began to cry. He clung to Ginyami's ankle with surprising strength and Ginyami didn't have the heart to try to pull him off. Instead, he sighed a deep, heavy-hearted sigh and wrapped his arms around his peer like a bird enveloping its chicks with its wings. He couldn't hold him properly, not with Valentin still on his foot, but he could get as close to him as possible even as sobs shook his heaving body.
It was a while before Ginyami felt Valentin's tense form relax somewhat and his cheek move from foot to the ground. Distressed, the Japanese boy struggled internally between wanting to get Valentin up off the stone floor and wanting him to play out whatever made him feel better. Eventually, however, Valentin's cries softened and he grabbed ahold of Ginyami's sandal straps.
“I will prove you wrong, Ginyami, if it’s the last thing I do. Even if it means sacrificing everything else, I will make it so that you, at least, are not alone anymore.”
His words made the fox's chest tighten painfully again. Ginyami reached down his free hand to lightly brush Valentin's hair away from his face. "I am sure if anyone could, it would be you," he said, offering the musician a gentle, melancholic smile. "But I am not the one who fears being alone. It is you I worry for. And it is you I will stay beside. Neither of us will have to be alone if we only keep close by the other. Right?" He brushed the back of his hand affectionately against the side of Valentin's face that wasn't pressed up against the ground. "Please don't despair, my king. I will make sure you aren't alone for as long as you will have me by your side."
Valentin Schnell (@Aida Mòrsgor-Ama Ellwood)
PC: Jack Burnett | iNPC: Ginyami Midorimori
23 Jan 2023, 06:47
Thrills & Chills Bash
Mature themes.
Reducio
While Ginyami had learned more about Valentin over the last month than most people ever did, the depths of what the Turk had been through over the last several years remained murky. How could the fox know that the question Valentin gave him was as finely-honed as a diamond blade? Naturally, the goblin king knew the danger of asking, cutting straight to what he most urgently needed to know about Ginyami. This was the only way he could hope to give himself to the boy completely: first by learning if it was even possible.
With mercurial speed, the frost captain’s composure melted down under the devastation of Ginyami’s reply: a precision strike at Valya’s very foundations. Yet, digging through himself piece by piece and finding that Ginyami’s answer resonated, Valya knew no regret – this was the fox’s purest truth. Even if the pair began perfectly alone, the challenge of destroying the limit Valentin abhored most was welcome, especially compared to living a lie. The white seeker couldn’t resolve the solitude of everyone in the world, one young man that he was. Yet, together with the boy whose dark eyes held a silver glint of the sublime, Valentin yearned to break every barrier that threatened to make Ginyami fundamentally alone.
Seeing the king’s collapse, the Japanese boy began to backpedal. "Valentin...I am sorry. I am sorry if what I said upset you. Please, don't take it to heart. You are probably different. You still have many friends and allies who care about you, I am sure - people I don't know well or don't know about." As Ginyami rattled on, the captain rolled his eyes, wanting to shut him up with a kiss, but he was not in a position to do so.
“Stop. Don’t ruin this. Please, never try to spare me even one iota of pain, for that would be the crueler fate.” White locks of hair fell into the goblin king’s eyes with disappointment in his downcast gaze. The unraveling of the fox’s magnificent honesty only further accelerated Valentin’s collapse.
"Valentin? Valentin-san?"
The distortion of his name struck another blow to the heart of the goblin king. The Turk was not from East Asia, but since their evening in the rehearsal room Valentin had been researching Ginyami. One such effort was learning about Japanese culture, as to know better how to treat the boy with respect. With his knack for languages and burning curiosity, Valentin couldn’t help beginning to study the fundamentals of the lovely fox’s native tongue, too. One of the first terms he learned about was the -san suffix, how to use it, and its social implications. Valentin’s tutor warned him that -san was a term that created distance in a relationship, and to apply it to a friend could be interpreted as pushing them away. Ginyami’s sudden change struck Valentin with the impression that he’d damaged their relationship with his demonstration of vulnerability.
I won’t fake it, can’t pretend to be okay, thought Valya with an ache. I’m tired of concealing my pain. Yefim told me...
“This isn't up for debate either… tell me when things are wrong, it's only after destroying the things that hold us back that we'll become stronger.”
Even if Ginyami can’t understand, shielding him from the truth would just make all this meaningless. If he only wants me for my power, then it becomes a different kind of relationship, and the augury… I have to follow the augury. Valentin clutched his biceps as a powerful tremor overcame him. He had never felt so alone despite so nearly grasping what promised to be the most intimate relationship of his life.
Is he letting go already? Is his embrace turning fake with condescending pity? He just… has to see this, my greatest weakness, so that I can see if he accepts me for who I am. It’s why I’ve stuck with Mikael even after everything that’s happened. He never spared me, no matter how weak I seemed, even when it almost…
As Valentin stared down into the fabric shrouding Ginyami’s foot, a distorted tone like the high pitch of scraping metal crept into his mind. At once, he was there again outside the Durmstrang tent, coated with dust as he lay prone in bloodsoaked clothing. Mikael’s black boot glinted, damp, under the moon as it followed the arc of the boy’s kick. It rolled in and out like the beater of a drum pedal in almost hypnotic rhythm as the dark-haired boy wept. "She.left.me. She left me!" Wailing like a lost soul, Mikael bashed Valentin to the edge of oblivion as the odd midnight onlooker simply watched. Still, even after everything… "I never want to see you again Valentin. Do you understand me? I never want to see you again!"
As Valya’s eyes found their focus again, Ginyami’s foot didn’t swing despite the albino kneeling within perfect striking distance. Every fiber of his martial experience urged Valentin to move, but it was only waves of sobbing that brought the seeker down. “Valyusha, don’t you understand? Your feet are dirty.” "Does the woman let her best white cloth get used to clean a smudge on the dirt?" Valik... Burying his face in the boy’s white sock, Valentin repeated Ginyami’s words to himself: everyone was fundamentally alone. Didn’t it mean, too, that every blow Valentin took from Romeo was dealt in icy solitude? The twisted web of implications behind the fox’s simple answer swarmed under Valentin’s skin – worst of all, was Ginyami admitting to simply using Valentin? After all, the king had offered the kitsune his power: the means to destroy each and every limit that bound him. Valentin wanted Ginyami to use him. Yet, such a deal alone was too limited to satisfy the white king, even if it was mutual. Valya couldn’t enjoy the boy’s touch like this, and it fell upon him with all the emptiness of the air itself. To truly offer all of himself, the king had to take much more than utility. There was no way to achieve an infinite loop without taking in kind, as Yefim had tried to teach him.
The Mahoutokoro’s words threatened the core of who Valentin was and what he needed most. Especially with the fox’s backpedaling, the frost captain no longer trusted that Ginyami would give Valentin as much as he would give him. Then again, when had anyone ever given Valentin back even half of what he offered? Still, this sacrifice where the captain suffered more and took less than others hardened his resolve like diamond inside the planet’s crushing inferno. Valya had little left to lose outside of his razor-thin objectives. The parts of him that broke under stress fractures would simply have to fall away and be replaced by more tenacious shapes.
As Valentin’s tears ran dry, he understood that he was in the same position as when on death’s doorstep. Cheek sinking into the ground beside Ginyami’s foot, Valentin felt his diaphragm push in and out against the ground while his eyes focused onto the most distant possible point. There was no guarantee the seeker could find someone with the key to completing an immortality loop with him, but he could never break that limit without acting like it would somehow work out. Like flying, once you launched, the broom beneath you could fail and crash. Yet, to fly, Valya had to accept the risk after taking what precautions he could, trusting it would be alright and getting up off the ground anyway. It was the only way he could even go on living, trusting that the future would make the efforts of today worthwhile.
Even if immortality is impossible, people will have at least lived longer and better from my sacrifices. What if Ginyami abuses my power and uses me up, discarding me when it no longer serves him? What if he simply can't reciprocate my insane attempts to break down every limit between us? If this infinite loop, too, never completes… then at least I will have given someone my everything. I may remain forever alone as a result, but I can make it so Ginyami never will be again.
Blinking twice, Valentin imagined staring across the earth and sea towards the land of the rising sun. However high he flew above Durmstrang or Kazan or Germany, and no matter how keen his eyes, such a horizon would forever lay beneath the curve of the Earth, invisible. Yet, even living on separate sides of the world, Valentin fixed the resolution deep into his heart.
“I will prove you wrong, Ginyami, if it’s the last thing I do. Even if it means sacrificing everything else, I will make it so that you, at least, are not alone anymore.”
The Mahoutokoro reached down to brush the pale hair from Valya’s eyes and offered a melancholic smile. "I am sure if anyone could, it would be you. But I am not the one who fears being alone. It is you I worry for. And it is you I will stay beside. Neither of us will have to be alone if we only keep close by the other. Right?" As Ginyami brushed the side of Val’s face, the seeker closed his eyes, finally responding to his touch. "Please don't despair, my king. I will make sure you aren't alone for as long as you will have me by your side."
Was it all a pack of lies to try to make him feel better? Valentin didn’t know anymore. The fox’s purest truth splintered at its cracked edge. Yet, the seeker was born to fly. Aloft on the air itself close to the stars was always where Valentin belonged. If soaring high was to make an Icarus out of him, then at least he would have tried.
“I will make you so powerful that, wherever you are in the world, you will no longer be alone. The power I give you is all of me. Let me play the game.”
Rising up into sitting, then squatting, then pushing himself into standing, Valentin swayed under the force of a headrush. With two fingers touching his forehead briefly as he looked at Ginyami, Valentin felt new power surging deep within his chest. The tears that purged his demons left only light comet trails on his cheeks, and with the brush of his scarred palm, their salt flakes fell back to the earth.
“Thank you, Ginyami. Please, throw me your grapes. I already know my next question for you, and I want to earn the answer.”
With mercurial speed, the frost captain’s composure melted down under the devastation of Ginyami’s reply: a precision strike at Valya’s very foundations. Yet, digging through himself piece by piece and finding that Ginyami’s answer resonated, Valya knew no regret – this was the fox’s purest truth. Even if the pair began perfectly alone, the challenge of destroying the limit Valentin abhored most was welcome, especially compared to living a lie. The white seeker couldn’t resolve the solitude of everyone in the world, one young man that he was. Yet, together with the boy whose dark eyes held a silver glint of the sublime, Valentin yearned to break every barrier that threatened to make Ginyami fundamentally alone.
Seeing the king’s collapse, the Japanese boy began to backpedal. "Valentin...I am sorry. I am sorry if what I said upset you. Please, don't take it to heart. You are probably different. You still have many friends and allies who care about you, I am sure - people I don't know well or don't know about." As Ginyami rattled on, the captain rolled his eyes, wanting to shut him up with a kiss, but he was not in a position to do so.
“Stop. Don’t ruin this. Please, never try to spare me even one iota of pain, for that would be the crueler fate.” White locks of hair fell into the goblin king’s eyes with disappointment in his downcast gaze. The unraveling of the fox’s magnificent honesty only further accelerated Valentin’s collapse.
"Valentin? Valentin-san?"
The distortion of his name struck another blow to the heart of the goblin king. The Turk was not from East Asia, but since their evening in the rehearsal room Valentin had been researching Ginyami. One such effort was learning about Japanese culture, as to know better how to treat the boy with respect. With his knack for languages and burning curiosity, Valentin couldn’t help beginning to study the fundamentals of the lovely fox’s native tongue, too. One of the first terms he learned about was the -san suffix, how to use it, and its social implications. Valentin’s tutor warned him that -san was a term that created distance in a relationship, and to apply it to a friend could be interpreted as pushing them away. Ginyami’s sudden change struck Valentin with the impression that he’d damaged their relationship with his demonstration of vulnerability.
I won’t fake it, can’t pretend to be okay, thought Valya with an ache. I’m tired of concealing my pain. Yefim told me...
“This isn't up for debate either… tell me when things are wrong, it's only after destroying the things that hold us back that we'll become stronger.”
Even if Ginyami can’t understand, shielding him from the truth would just make all this meaningless. If he only wants me for my power, then it becomes a different kind of relationship, and the augury… I have to follow the augury. Valentin clutched his biceps as a powerful tremor overcame him. He had never felt so alone despite so nearly grasping what promised to be the most intimate relationship of his life.
Is he letting go already? Is his embrace turning fake with condescending pity? He just… has to see this, my greatest weakness, so that I can see if he accepts me for who I am. It’s why I’ve stuck with Mikael even after everything that’s happened. He never spared me, no matter how weak I seemed, even when it almost…
As Valentin stared down into the fabric shrouding Ginyami’s foot, a distorted tone like the high pitch of scraping metal crept into his mind. At once, he was there again outside the Durmstrang tent, coated with dust as he lay prone in bloodsoaked clothing. Mikael’s black boot glinted, damp, under the moon as it followed the arc of the boy’s kick. It rolled in and out like the beater of a drum pedal in almost hypnotic rhythm as the dark-haired boy wept. "She.left.me. She left me!" Wailing like a lost soul, Mikael bashed Valentin to the edge of oblivion as the odd midnight onlooker simply watched. Still, even after everything… "I never want to see you again Valentin. Do you understand me? I never want to see you again!"
As Valya’s eyes found their focus again, Ginyami’s foot didn’t swing despite the albino kneeling within perfect striking distance. Every fiber of his martial experience urged Valentin to move, but it was only waves of sobbing that brought the seeker down. “Valyusha, don’t you understand? Your feet are dirty.” "Does the woman let her best white cloth get used to clean a smudge on the dirt?" Valik... Burying his face in the boy’s white sock, Valentin repeated Ginyami’s words to himself: everyone was fundamentally alone. Didn’t it mean, too, that every blow Valentin took from Romeo was dealt in icy solitude? The twisted web of implications behind the fox’s simple answer swarmed under Valentin’s skin – worst of all, was Ginyami admitting to simply using Valentin? After all, the king had offered the kitsune his power: the means to destroy each and every limit that bound him. Valentin wanted Ginyami to use him. Yet, such a deal alone was too limited to satisfy the white king, even if it was mutual. Valya couldn’t enjoy the boy’s touch like this, and it fell upon him with all the emptiness of the air itself. To truly offer all of himself, the king had to take much more than utility. There was no way to achieve an infinite loop without taking in kind, as Yefim had tried to teach him.
The Mahoutokoro’s words threatened the core of who Valentin was and what he needed most. Especially with the fox’s backpedaling, the frost captain no longer trusted that Ginyami would give Valentin as much as he would give him. Then again, when had anyone ever given Valentin back even half of what he offered? Still, this sacrifice where the captain suffered more and took less than others hardened his resolve like diamond inside the planet’s crushing inferno. Valya had little left to lose outside of his razor-thin objectives. The parts of him that broke under stress fractures would simply have to fall away and be replaced by more tenacious shapes.
As Valentin’s tears ran dry, he understood that he was in the same position as when on death’s doorstep. Cheek sinking into the ground beside Ginyami’s foot, Valentin felt his diaphragm push in and out against the ground while his eyes focused onto the most distant possible point. There was no guarantee the seeker could find someone with the key to completing an immortality loop with him, but he could never break that limit without acting like it would somehow work out. Like flying, once you launched, the broom beneath you could fail and crash. Yet, to fly, Valya had to accept the risk after taking what precautions he could, trusting it would be alright and getting up off the ground anyway. It was the only way he could even go on living, trusting that the future would make the efforts of today worthwhile.
Even if immortality is impossible, people will have at least lived longer and better from my sacrifices. What if Ginyami abuses my power and uses me up, discarding me when it no longer serves him? What if he simply can't reciprocate my insane attempts to break down every limit between us? If this infinite loop, too, never completes… then at least I will have given someone my everything. I may remain forever alone as a result, but I can make it so Ginyami never will be again.
Blinking twice, Valentin imagined staring across the earth and sea towards the land of the rising sun. However high he flew above Durmstrang or Kazan or Germany, and no matter how keen his eyes, such a horizon would forever lay beneath the curve of the Earth, invisible. Yet, even living on separate sides of the world, Valentin fixed the resolution deep into his heart.
“I will prove you wrong, Ginyami, if it’s the last thing I do. Even if it means sacrificing everything else, I will make it so that you, at least, are not alone anymore.”
The Mahoutokoro reached down to brush the pale hair from Valya’s eyes and offered a melancholic smile. "I am sure if anyone could, it would be you. But I am not the one who fears being alone. It is you I worry for. And it is you I will stay beside. Neither of us will have to be alone if we only keep close by the other. Right?" As Ginyami brushed the side of Val’s face, the seeker closed his eyes, finally responding to his touch. "Please don't despair, my king. I will make sure you aren't alone for as long as you will have me by your side."
Was it all a pack of lies to try to make him feel better? Valentin didn’t know anymore. The fox’s purest truth splintered at its cracked edge. Yet, the seeker was born to fly. Aloft on the air itself close to the stars was always where Valentin belonged. If soaring high was to make an Icarus out of him, then at least he would have tried.
“I will make you so powerful that, wherever you are in the world, you will no longer be alone. The power I give you is all of me. Let me play the game.”
Rising up into sitting, then squatting, then pushing himself into standing, Valentin swayed under the force of a headrush. With two fingers touching his forehead briefly as he looked at Ginyami, Valentin felt new power surging deep within his chest. The tears that purged his demons left only light comet trails on his cheeks, and with the brush of his scarred palm, their salt flakes fell back to the earth.
“Thank you, Ginyami. Please, throw me your grapes. I already know my next question for you, and I want to earn the answer.”
Reducio
Stats: STA 8 ✦ EVA 14 ✧ STR 2 ✦ WIS 15 ✧ARC 1 ✦ ACC 15 - Ency
Abilities: Keen Eye ✦ Charmer ✧ Evasive Maneuvers ✦ Fearless
Valentin's English = #CC3333; Russian = #992314; Tatar = #1F0402
Interacting with @Jack Burnett
24 Jan 2023, 05:34
Thrills & Chills Bash
“Stop. Don’t ruin this. Please, never try to spare me even one iota of pain, for that would be the crueler fate.”
Ginyami held his tongue, then, feeling foolish for having attempted to corrupt that purest truth that Valentin had asked of him if only to lie away the cause for the seeker's tears. If only it were so easy. But no; he didn't truly believe what he'd said about Valentin being different when it came to being alone and they both knew it. It felt stupid to have tried to lie afterward even if that was what Ginyami was usually used to doing. Then again, most people couldn't - or wouldn't - see through him like Valentin could. Most people preferred to swallow pretty lies and sweet nothings than to be force-fed a merciless truth. In that way, at least, Valentin was different.
He watched the other boy hug himself, wondering what more he could do. There seemed to be nothing - not without his usual, soothing balm of false placations. He wasn't used to people who didn't have an appetite for sugared words and honeyed condolences. What was he to do now without them? He felt utterly useless with the White Seeker of Durmstrang crying into his sock.
Eventually, Valentin's sobs ceased and, blinking twice, he told Ginyami he would prove him wrong if it was the last thing he did. Ginyami sincerely hoped it wouldn't be, but felt he had good reason to worry it could have been with how obsessive and passionate he was starting to understand Valentin was. In that case, he would do all he could to make sure Valentin stayed alive and safe fulfilling his endeavors, however dangerous they ended up being. Even if people started out fundamentally alone, that didn't mean things couldn't change...right?
He listened sincerely when Valentin told him that he would make him so powerful that no matter where he was in the world, he would no longer be alone. That the power he gave Ginyami was all of himself. Giving yourself up for others again... he thought with an inner sigh. Very well. I suppose if you're giving me all of you, you can't squander yourself on anyone else...
The fox attempted to assist the goblin king as he pushed himself gradually back up onto his feet. Even so, Valentin swayed and Ginyami's true annoyance at his companion's lack of self-care momentarily revealed itself in the form of a small, perturbed sound between his teeth. "Tch." He had to get those grapes in him pronto.
“Thank you, Ginyami. Please, throw me your grapes. I already know my next question for you, and I want to earn the answer.”
Thank me once you've actually eaten, you poor excuse for goblin royalty, Ginyami thought as he smiled and dipped his head in acknowledgement. You've certainly taken your own sweet time. Are you really the captain of your quidditch team? What would you do if they saw you in this state? "As you wish, Your Majesty."
Taking a step back to create about a foot of distance between them, Ginyami held up the first of the fruits between his forefinger and thumb. Then he tossed the grape in a careful arc toward Valentin's mouth. It didn't take him long to launch the second, then the third. He hoped dearly the ivory-complexioned musician caught them all, because when he reached into the coat pocket for more grapes to satiate Valentin's growling stomach, he found but one left.
He pulled it out slowly, considering his final question as he looked back toward his peer.
"This is the last grape," he announced, holding it up for Valentin to see. "And I know you have a question for me, but first comes mine." He took a step back toward the Durmstrang student, closing the distance between them once more. "If someone is fundamentally considered 'a bad person'...whether they be a liar, a thief, or whatever else...do you think people have the ability to change who they are?" His gaze shifted back to the grape grasped lightly between his fingertips. "Or are they doomed to forever remain the same due to their nature or habits or whatever made them that way?"
Valentin Schnell (@Aida Mòrsgor-Ama Ellwood)
PC: Jack Burnett | iNPC: Ginyami Midorimori
27 Jan 2023, 04:33
Thrills & Chills Bash
Valentin waved away Ginyami’s attempt to help him to his feet, smiling sadly on his way up as he brushed the dirt from his cheek. By getting up a bit too fast, the bloodrush to Valentin’s head sent a sway through him and elicited an annoyed "tch" from the other boy. Yet, the fox’s irritation only warmed Valentin’s smile with its genuine sound.
“Thank you, Ginyami. Please, throw me your grapes. I already know my next question for you, and I want to earn the answer.”
"As you wish, Your Majesty." The Mahoutokoro’s expressions were growing harder to read, and the king wasn’t sure how to take the tone in Ginyami’s reply. Still, the noiret kindly stood back and launched a grape into an arc towards Valentin.
Watching the little Concord fly as if in slow motion, the seeker had an easy time of tracking it so close up. Yet, the difficulty lay in not getting so nervous as to overshoot his target, nor so self-conscious that he moved too little. Focus on the objective, he thought, trying to unclench his jaw. It’s just a game, and what do we do in games? We clutch under pressure. This is what we do…
Just as Valentin finished his thought, he realized that his body automatically positioned itself under the grape and opened the hatch. [d20:15+15=30] The grape flew onto his tongue, which autonomously swept it down the boy’s throat without a single chew. The little sphere was gone after one uncomfortable moment and Valentin looked down at his hands, which weren’t even clenched. Looking up at Ginyami, Val decided that it must have been the boy’s power that allowed him to do it. Still, just one might have been a fluke. The Mahoutokoro fired off another, and Valentin’s body again moved without him having to think about it. Lips parting at just the right moment, the athlete was making it look easy. [d20:15+14=29] Irritated at himself for fearfully swallowing the last one, he forced himself to bite into the second grape before finishing it off. It’s like I never stopped. This is actually easier than doing it on a tightrope, isn’t it? This is easy, right? Chewing his lip nervously, Valentin knew he had just one left to clear. Would the confidence boost make him reckless at the last moment, destroying all his progress?
When Ginyami threw the third grape, Valentin’s eyes lingered on the black holes of the other boy's. If this was the kitsune's magic, helping Valentin overcome his anxiety, then Valya especially could not afford to fail and take his aid in vain. Keen gaze flicking back to the grape and locking onto it at the top of its arc, Valentin felt his heart pounding as he stepped forward and opened his jaw. Don’t move, whispered the voice of his mind. With Valentin waiting, just waiting, the penultimate grape dropped into the center of his mouth. [d20:15+15=30] Lips closing back up, he lingered with the fruit clasped between two molars as he took a deep breath. No, it’s not just a game. He’s there, watching me eat. His eyes have been compelling me to win this entire time, and that is why I shall. Gaze meeting once more with Ginyami's, Valentin crushed the grape slowly, savoring its flavor at last, and swallowed.
“Ginyami.” The White Seeker spoke his name as if stating the reason for his success. This was only the first step, but it would prove the most important if he were to recover completely. Valentin would need greater challenges in the future, ones he had not trained at earlier in his youth, and those with ever more demanding parameters. That’s right, he’s challenging me, and I love it. I love… this. I… Clasping his right hand tight, Valentin wondered what exactly it was he was feeling. “Ginyami… I…”
Yet, the words stalled on Valya’s tongue like a plane inverting mid-flight. Did he… love the Mahoutokoro boy? Certainly the fox held his heart in his clutches, playing him as skillfully as the master of an instrument. Indeed, the Japanese boy had become the only one Valentin was considering anymore. Yet, what exactly was Ginyami to him, evoking such devotion in the White Seeker of Durmstrang? If he didn’t truly love him, what was Valentin even doing – and why was he questioning this only now, of all times, already so near the point of no return?
The Mahoutokoro boy pulled out the final grape and held it between his peach-tone fingers, stepping in close to Valentin once more.
"If someone is fundamentally considered 'a bad person'...whether they be a liar, a thief, or whatever else...do you think people have the ability to change who they are?" The question held Valentin in place as he pondered what would cause the kitsune to ask such a question if he were not already grappling with it himself. Still, the only answer Ginyami deserved was Valentin’s own purest truth. Dark eyes shifting to the grape in his fingertips, he continued: "or are they doomed to forever remain the same due to their nature or habits or whatever made them that way?"
“Kaderlem, I have asked myself this, but in reverse. If someone is fundamentally good, is it possible for them to turn malicious and… terrible? My friends, I… watched them change. After I lost them the game and our team broke up, they grew dark. I do not fear them, but I see that others now do. They have a different presence and they… do dark deeds. Sometimes to me, and those times, probably because of me. I wonder often, with all the power people put in me, if I’m capable of corruption. Will people learn to fear me one day? It has haunted me so long, I think I may have an answer that is relevant to your question as well.”
Looking at Ginyami’s free hand, the frost captain considered taking it as he spoke. Curling up his fingers and closing his eyes as he shook his head, Valentin didn’t want his power to charm the Mahoutokoro into believing him. If the words were true, then they would speak to Ginyami’s heart.
“I’ve asked myself often, why did life not evolve creatures that could be immortal? Why reproduction, if not because something goes wrong and destroys progenitors far too much. Yet, why not evolve more things so tough that they live on for thousands of years, if not forever? Why must humans die so quickly, or are we just flawed? From all my research, the best answer I can find is that the world simply changes too quickly around creatures for them to always stay the same. Through reproduction, lifeforms can change over time and become shaped by their environment through evolution. Just so, humans have evolved to learn, to think, to change our own behaviors before they can become the end of us. Without even dying and being replaced by our children, we can change profoundly as individuals during our own lifetimes. I think this is why humans have been so successful, especially because whole cultures can change like this in a short time, too.” Crossing his arms and opening his eyes to stare up at the ceiling, Valentin sighed.
“I wonder if this is why my friends changed: to survive what happened to them. Then I wonder… would I change, becoming dark and terrible, if the environment required it of me to survive? I think then, this is the limit of evolutionary theory. Not all traits exist because they are better at making an individual’s genes survive. Mutations randomly emerge. Why should I like boys when it prevents me from reproducing? It’s not like it helps me support siblings’ success – I have none. Am I just… broken? No, I don’t think, I don’t believe, that to be alive is really constrained only to my own survival. I would sacrifice myself to save someone I loved who isn’t a relative. I love people for who they are, not because they help me reproduce. There is a whole world of traits outside of what is genetically heritable, and I believe that people can be truly altruistic. Still, is this individuality enough to keep me from becoming a terrible person if bad things happen to me? I don’t know. It’s one thing to say it, and another to live it. However, if there’s one thing my theory shows, it’s that it’s natural for people to change, even things that are deeply rooted in their core, especially when put in a different environment. That is, a person usually needs a reason in order to truly change, and that reason can come from one’s surroundings. If that’s there… then I think it’s like my father said. You can become what you want to be. You just need a good enough reason to remember why you are doing it when things get tough. It’s hard to change other people, as it should be, when it’s against what they want. The will is what really decides a person’s fate. People can choose how they react to a situation, even going against habit. I’ve seen it. It’s possible to improve at things over time. Humans learn in order to change themselves and better interact with the world the way they want. That is key to human nature: we can change our own fundamentals. My problem is, can I stop my fundamentals from changing even when the environment demands it of me?”
Looking back down at Ginyami with the amethyst of his gaze burning with growing hunger, Valentin’s hand reached for the boy’s hip. Sliding across the boy’s obi sash, the king found the placement he wanted and latched his hand onto its fine fabric. His left arm reached up and around Ginyami’s shoulders before he paused, pursing his lips to restrain his final question from breaking free.
Valik, don’t forget what you asked yourself. You are not just the beast inside.
“I remember what you said the crystal orb showed you. Tell me, please: what do you need in order to feel like you don’t have to wear a mask anymore in this world?”
The goblin king's long fingers worked themselves deeper into the folds of the kitsune’s sash, and Valentin smiled. The action flowed from the unison of two sides of him: the first, out of the colddrake as he yearned to pull the black-haired boy in closer where he might be devoured. The other emerged from the instincts of the frost captain, the white king, adoring Ginyami whilst needing to ensure his own strategic position. It would be amusing if the fox tried to escape now with the final grape, but funner still was staying true to foresight. Valentin was not arrogant enough to assume that his speed would be enough to keep a potential trickster from making off with his heart and disappearing into the night. After Ginyami cracked the edge of the king’s confidence by degrading his purest truth, Valentin would at least get the last laugh if this was all a trick being played on him. The Turk understood sashes, as they were shared between both his and Japanese culture. If the kitsune tried to run now, the king’s hand would hold fast on the end of the obi as it unravelled with the boy’s flight. Just so, the boy could escape, but only at the risk of exposing himself to anyone he happened to encounter further down the hall. Yet, as Valya’s eyes gazed into the pitch black wells of Ginyami’s pupils, it was his hope that the fox would not try to trick him this way, never having to learn that the king had him by the tail. He wanted Ginyami to want him, as he wanted Ginyami. Should the Japanese boy want to stay, earnest in his promises to the goblin king, Valentin’s hand would instead remain the embrace he most wanted it to be.
In these final moments at the event horizon, Valentin would respect a verbal request to unhand him, to let Ginyami leave alone and try to move on despite everything that had happened. They didn’t have to go forward with this.
Valik, your question… pleaded Valya's heart.
“I hope my answer has done justice to your truly beautiful question.” Pushing his nose through the boy’s raven hair with a nuzzle and slowly taking in its warmth and fragrance, Valentin sighed. This was it. If Ginyami accepted his answer and earnestly attempted to reply to his own question, the seeker pulled back to give the Mahoutokoro the space to do whatever he wished. Dropping his left arm completely but with his right hand laying softly at Ginyami’s waist, Valentin nodded to welcome the final grape.
Reducio
Stats: STA 8 ✦ EVA 14 ✧ STR 2 ✦ WIS 15 ✧ARC 1 ✦ ACC 15 - Ency
Abilities: Keen Eye ✦ Charmer ✧ Evasive Maneuvers ✦ Fearless
Valentin's English = #CC3333; Russian = #992314; Tatar = #1F0402
Interacting with @Jack Burnett
30 Jan 2023, 03:02
Thrills & Chills Bash
Following the trajectory of the first grape as it flew through the air, Ginyami witnessed it fall into Valentin's mouth as if there were no place it would rather have been. He smiled, though tilted his head slightly as he noticed the other boy hadn't chewed the fruit, only swallowed and glance at his hands. Maybe it had surprised him to catch it. When he looked back up, Ginyami was already ready with the second fruit.
Tossing that one, he watched as it, too, was caught by the goblin king and his smile broadened. Perhaps Valentin might have felt that this was different from his childhood, but perhaps his body remembered differently, like with muscle memory. Ginyami wasn't sure; maybe it was like riding a broom. It certainly seemed as simple with the way the Durmstrang student took to it. This one he actually chewed before swallowing.
Finally, there was one more. Pale, silver-amythest eyes locked with dark ones as it was thrown. The last and final grape arced between the two teenagers and before landing neatly between the seeker's waiting jaws. Ginyami's countenance radiated delight as he put his now-empty hands together, applauding. Valentin bit down on the tiny fruit while staring into Ginyami's eyes yet again. Then he spoke his name. Once. Twice.
He seemed to want to say something more, but he never finished. Still grinning, Ginyami reached into the pocket once more - only to pull out the very last grape to be found in it. His demeanor mellowed then and he moved closer to Valentin, asking his final question of him. Valentin started by addressing him with a foreign word - one Ginyami would have to ask him the meaning of eventually - and dove into his reply.
It intrigued the Japanese boy to consider the question in reverse. He would have thought that answer obvious, at least to him. Wasn't it easy to turn fundmentally good people into malicious and terrible ones? He had thought so at first, but the more he considered the question and listened to Valentin's ideas on it, the more he began to doubt that was the case. He would have thought it was easy to turn fundamentally 'good' people into 'bad' ones because staying on the 'straight' path was difficult when temptations called to one around every corner. When you did your best to always do the right thing and yet always witnessed others being rewarded and getting what you wanted, wouldn't it have been natural to want to stray from the 'good' path to 'win' as easily?
Ginyami considered Valentin put in that position, though. No, he thought. No, Valentin wouldn't have strayed from doing what he thought was right just because people who did wrong got what he wanted. He would just work himself harder to achieve what they did. He would consider it a challenge and overcome it.
The Mahoutokoro student wondered idly what Valentin meant when he'd said his friends 'grew dark' but didn't want to interrupt him and thus did not ask. It seemed they 'had a different presence and did dark deeds', but what Valentin considered a dark deed, Ginyami couldn't fathom. After his fingers curled and his eyes closed, he shook his head and the seeker continued.
Considering what he said, Ginyami was astonished at how deeply Valentin had thought this through - about why life did not evolve creatures that could be immortal and why humans had to die so quickly. It probably had to do with the research he had been conducting involving immortality but that still didn't mean he had any reason to consider questions like those or things like evolutionary theory. Was it staying the same that meant a lot to him, either as a person or as a living being?
Ultimately, it seemed that Valentin believed that yes, people could truly change if they had a good enough reason for it. If they wanted to change, it was their willpower that would help them do so and with that, Ginyami agreed. Valentin just seemed unsure if he could keep his fundamentals from changing if his environment demanded it of him.
"Based on what you said...I think you could keep from changing if that was what you really wanted," Ginyami answered, wondering why one's environment would have been any different from anyone else trying to make someone change. "If you can change through willpower, doesn't it make sense that you could keep yourself from changing through that same willpower? What sway could one's environment have over a truly stubborn individual set on staying the way they are?" He supposed if one wasn't aware of the influence that one's environment had over them, that might have been a different matter, but he didn't think that would be an issue for Valentin, who seemed highly aware of his surroundings and place in the world.
He felt the other boy's hungry eyes upon him then, but hungry for something other than food, and felt his right hand reach for his hip, sliding across his obi until he gripped it. Ginyami's shoulders soon felt the presence of Valentin's left arm as well and his breath caught at their new proximity to each other. The fox had drawn close, but the goblin king pulled them now even closer. Ginyami's thoughts were so muddled that he almost missed Valentin's new question.
“I remember what you said the crystal orb showed you. Tell me, please: what do you need in order to feel like you don’t have to wear a mask anymore in this world?”
He was so caught off-guard by the inquiry that he failed to notice fingers dig into the sash at his waist, much less guess at the strategic reasoning behind it. He was trying to formulate a response when Valentin stated his hope that his answer to Ginyami's question had done it justice. Those words combined with his companion's action of nestling his nose into his hair wiped any coherent thought from his already-struggling mind.
"It...it has, really," he managed to utter eventually, staring at Valentin's chest where his shirt had been unbuttoned. "Thank you for answering so...profoundly and genuinely." He paused to clear his throat and swallow. Why was it so much more difficult to speak now?
"As for the answer to your own question..." he pressed himself to continue, his pulse increasing by the second as he busied his hands with fixing the goblin king's long locks, "...I think...I need to have at least someone in this world who could...like me for who I am behind that mask. I don't know that I could ever really get by without it, especially living in the world I do with the life I have, but if I could have at least know that I could be liked as the person I am rather than the person I strive to be for others...maybe...maybe it might be possible."
His thoughts jumped to Hiro again. Hiro accepted him for who he was as a person, yes, but could he say he actually liked that person? That he preferred that person over the one Ginyami spent most of his time as, catering to others and trying to be easy to get along with? Who would prefer someone so much more disagreeable and abrasive than the mask he put on?
Someone who seeks the purest truth of others, perhaps, he thought, staring into Valentin's void black pupils at the center of his gem chip irises.
Swallowing again, he closed his eyes for a few seconds to calm his disruptive thoughts. His body was already heating up and running adrenaline through him and generally causing enough chaos within him as it was; he didn't need his mind to be so chaotic as well. At last, he brought the final grape to his lips and slid it past them, careful not to crush it.
Holding it lightly on his tongue, he opened his eyes again to find his target - the soft, pale lips of the goblin king right there before him. His hands passed from Valentin's hair to cradle his face on either side and his gaze searched the other boy's, checking for any signs of displeasure or discomfort. Finding none, he proceeded to lean forward, tilting his head slightly and closing his eyes again as he moved to meet Valentin's mouth with his own.
Upon contact, he savored the feel of the other boy's lips for a time before gradually opening his mouth to push the grape past. He hoped Valentin would have gotten the hint and parted his lips as well to allow for the grape's transfer. It occurred to Ginyami then that a normal kiss might have been less intimate than what they were doing just then, as it seemed more akin to an open-mouthed kiss than a closed-mouthed one that was more likely to be attempted as one's first.
Oh, shut up, he tried to tell his inner panic, mentally rolling his eyes. Who says this even counts as a kiss anyway? You're just giving him a grape.
Valentin Schnell (@Aida Mòrsgor-Ama Ellwood)
PC: Jack Burnett | iNPC: Ginyami Midorimori
1 Feb 2023, 03:47
Thrills & Chills Bash
With Ginyami’s applause Valentin began to blush, partly in embarrassment from eating in front of him, but mostly out of pleasure. Applause was not unusual for Val even in such a small group, as he’d heard it since his first trick in front of his parents, let alone on his grandest days in the concert halls and stadia. Now, on one of the most important nights of his life, it meant more than accomplishment. In its modest way, it showed that Ginyami saw Valentin and understood, making them less alone. The clapping’s upbeat sound reverberated inside the seeker, fueling his wish to please even more.
Valentin next responded to the fox’s question about if someone considered fundamentally bad could change. Although the goblin king said nothing more just then, the Japanese boy’s silent speculation was right: Val’s theory emerged from not only his immortality research, but also from a related problem he’d hinted at on the first day they met. Ginyami didn’t make the conversation only about himself, though, and spoke unto Valentin’s concerns as well.
"I think you could keep from changing if that was what you really wanted. If you can change through willpower, doesn't it make sense that you could keep yourself from changing through that same willpower? What sway could one's environment have over a truly stubborn individual set on staying the way they are?" With Ginyami’s reply, the goblin king sighed as if laying down a heavy burden.
“Thanks. I think you’re right. Even if I get into a bad situation that compels me to change, my environment may also give me reasons to prevent my own corruption. I get the feeling you have quite the strong will, and not just about your academic standing.” Valentin’s eyes burning like hell-forged gems, the seeker placed his hand on Ginyami’s hip and wrapped an arm around the boy’s shoulders.
“I remember what you said the crystal orb showed you. Tell me, please: what do you need in order to feel like you don’t have to wear a mask anymore in this world?” With the goblin king’s nose in his hair and his fingers digging deeper into the folds of cloth at his waist, Ginyami’s responses slowed. Valentin smiled, noticing the other’s enjoyment of the deep cut of his tunic as he, too, ran his eyes over the fox’s shapes from this new angle. Before Val could get too greedy, however, the Mahoutokoro youth began to reply.
"...I think...I need to have at least someone in this world who could...like me for who I am behind that mask. I don't know that I could ever really get by without it, especially living in the world I do with the life I have, but if I could at least know that I could be liked as the person I am rather than the person I strive to be for others...maybe...maybe it might be possible." For as delicious as Ginyami’s exotic style was to Valentin, these words satisfied more. The young man ran his fingers through Val’s rock-and-roll hair, restoring the wild strands to where they belonged and bringing Val to draw out his own response to savor the moment.
“Ah, well…” With slow, hypnotized blinks typical of one of his race owls during cuddle hour, Valentin noticed the toes inside his left boot flexing with enjoyment. Speak, Valik. Drawing his knee into a bend behind him to enjoy the stretch and then stepping back to pull himself off of Ginyami, Valentin’s scarred hand lingered. “The mask…” His left hand folded into the contours of the fox face hanging from his belt, one thumb stroking the mask’s painted forehead affectionately. “Try it out on me first. If you like how it goes with me seeing who you really are all the time, that could be the first step in achieving your dream. You can be confident because I’ll tell you how I truly feel about you, too.” Valya released the kitsune’s waist, entrusting himself to the other as he peered into the dark slits of Ginyami’s eyes. “I challenge you. Try me. Your purest truth is what I need anyway, so this should be good for both of us.”
After some moments deep in thought, the Mahoutokoro boy swallowed and closed his eyes as if to find peace within himself before bringing the final grape into his mouth. Ginyami reopened his black hole eyes and locked onto the seeker’s blood-flushed lips before sliding his hands down to either side of Val’s face. He found only unearthly peace in the seeker’s expression as he drew closer and closer. Warmth enveloped Ginyami’s lips as they met Valentin’s, soft and willing. Ample. Silver and violet eyes flickered, struggling to remain open as if the moment’s radiance might blind them.
All the while, the frost captain’s body burned, awash in pure sunfire and awe. Valya never expected it to feel like flying right up to a star. Folding under the sheer intensity, the seeker’s eyes succumbed and everything but the touch of Ginyami’s lips faded to black. Held in this moment, neither boy moved. Like being suspended in space, there was only silence without tempo, as if the moment could stretch on for as long as Polaris would shine.
Valya didn’t know how much time passed then, or even what time was anymore. Yet, a shift in the firmament blasted open his eyes. The boy’s mouth was moving and, overcome, Valya’s eyes rolled back into closing as he, too, opened the gates of his lips. A small, smooth sphere floated into his mouth, landing softly on his tongue. Breathless, Valya froze, wanting to explore the depths from whence the grape came. What heavenly unknowns lay within the mystery of the black-haired boy? Valya wanted to be there, within a new kind of embrace, exploring the welcoming warm terrain of a kiss. Yet, the final grape sat on his own tongue, waiting.
Valentin considered splitting the grape in two, to share it and attempt what Ginyami had shown him, but he felt it would not properly fulfill the ritual. He knew he had to learn to take if he were to complete the infinite loop. With only a bit of weight from the roof of his mouth, the perfectly ripened grape exploded over Valentin’s tongue with its characteristic, sweet flavor. Feeling as if barely breathing at all, the seeker opened his eyes and felt the thin skin of the grape disappear down his throat. With another swallow but of emotion, he knew, then, that it was done. Valentin pulled back to look at Ginyami, only for his long hands to grasp the boy at either shoulder and rotate him around. Pressing him against the wall, Valentin’s eyes flared with brilliant amethyst light.
“Ginyami.” The frost captain’s lips parted, considering. “Ginyami, I give you all of me. Let me take all of you, as well.” His voice was urgent and boomed in resonance.
Now with all of the grapes in his belly, Valentin felt his strength returning in more ways than one. The fox had not only comforted his troubles, but exorcised a pain lodged deep inside by drawing out the goblin king’s tears. For however bright Valya seemed over the previous days and nights of tumult, now he emanated only pure contentment and serenity. He could only pray that this was how he made others feel when he ate away their pain. It felt like another first, being healed rather than healing the rifts inside of others. After shaking the starlight-toned locks out of his sight, Valentin fixed his empyrean eyes back on Ginyami. The keen gaze seemed almost audible in calling to him as Valentin’s every facet beckoned the Mahoutokoro boy to him.
“Ginyami,” he whispered on his third breath. If he found no resistance, Valentin’s hands then snaked up into the boy’s jet black hair to grasp the sides of his head with firm but painless tugging. He leaned forward and the hint of a smile washed over Valya’s alabaster face as he pressed his pink lips into Ginyami’s in a true kiss.
There was no grape to be had this time, but its flavor would linger. Having no prior experience, all Val knew was what Ginyami had shown him… and he wanted more. Like dew-wet rose petals, his lips drew apart to better encompass the outline of the boy’s bottom lip as he memorized its texture. Val closed his eyes, amazed at how hot the boy’s mouth was, and soon released his gentle hold on his lip to let the raven-haired boy determine the rest. Deep inside, Valya felt himself changing. Obscure and mysterious though the inkling was, Valentin knew he’d never be the same again.
Interacting with @Jack Burnett
Last edited by Aida Mòrsgor-Ama Ellwood on 9 Feb 2023, 01:21, edited 1 time in total.
7 Feb 2023, 05:14
Thrills & Chills Bash
When Valentin mentioned 'the mask' and reached for the literal, physical mask dangling from his belt, Ginyami smirked. His smirk grew into a wicked smile when the goblin king suggested the fox 'try it out on him' first. Still smiling, he sighed and shook his head. "You make it sound so easy. If I were to lose you of all people, though...if you were to decide you couldn't stand me, I don't know what I would do. I would be more alone than ever." Certainly if anyone seemed like they might have been able to fulfil his dream just then, it felt like it would have been Valentin, but what if they were wrong? Would there ever be a person more willing to accept Ginyami's true self? He didn't think so.
Perhaps...maybe if it was a little at a time, he could test the waters. If it didn't go well, he could always retreat behind his mask and go back to doing his best to please others. Besides, wouldn't it have been a shame if Valentin really could have liked him for who he was and he would have simply been forever too afraid to find out? It was worth taking a little bit of a risk, at least, he decided. And with Valentin challenging him, how could he resist?
"Very well," he conceded, beaming as he gazed into those silvery-amethyst irises. "I'll try. But it might take me a little bit to...remove that mask completely. I hope you can be patient with me."
It was a little while after that that Ginyami steeled himself for the act of transferring the final grape and he tried not to think about it too hard as he went through the process. It was so close to a real kiss, however, that it was only through great concentration and sheer willpower that he didn't make a total and utter fool of himself as he pushed himself to act without hestiation. A million thoughts cascaded through his mind as lips touched lips, wondering if he was doing things right and chastising himself for wondering such things when it was just the passing on of a grape. Nevermind if Valentin considered him a lousey kisser; this wasn't a real kiss. Besides, the alabaster prince seemed to have had about just as much experience with such things as he had, so who was Valentin to judge? Not that the Durmstrang boy was likely to judge anyway given what Ginyami had learned of him thus far.
On and on the thoughts went around his head, but he managed to largely ignore the majority of them in favor of relishing the sensations of his mouth. With his eyes closed, it was a lot easier to focus on them. Kiss or no kiss, he enjoyed the gentle warmth of the other boy's lips. It intensified as it washed over him and across his face in waves of heat, causing his cheeks to flush, he was certain. At some point he must have started to hold his breath, because his lungs began to burn as well, but he wasn't ready to pull away. He wanted the moment to last for eternity. The silence combined with their stillness really made it feel as though they were somewhere otherworldly where time could be preserved, like underwater or in outer space.
Eventually, however, Ginyami was able to pass on the small, elliptical fruit that he had intended to and Valentin accepted it on his tongue. Transfer completed, the fox's head tilted back a bit and he opened his eyes blinkingly, feeling slightly dazed as he sucked in air. He put a hand to his cheek to feel the residual warmth there as he watched Valentin open his eyes and swallow the remainder of the last grape. He barely had time for a shy smile when the seeker's long, piano-playing hands reached out for his shoulders and turned him around, pressing him against the wall. Dark, narrow eyes widened in astonishment while their pale, mithril counterparts seemed to sparkle and shine, suddenly radiant.
“Ginyami.” he said, and Ginyami watched the shape of his mouth as it formed his name. “Ginyami, I give you all of me. Let me take all of you, as well.”
"...Yes," he replied breathlessly, his lungs suddenly failing him yet again as his gaze became half-lidded. "Valentin. Please - take all of me as you will."
It was hard to believe this wasn't some dream to wake up from sooner or later. Even if that were the case, why would Ginyami want to question or ruin things now? He was generally one to go with the flow and if he just so happened to like where the flow was taking him, where was the harm?
Valentin spoke his name one more time, causing the Japanese boy's heart to race ever faster as he felt his way through Ginyami's raven hair to tug him closer. A shadow of a smile was the only warning Ginyami had prior to his chaotic mindscape going completely blank upon receiving Valentin's kiss. Their first real kiss.
Ginyami felt Valentin's lips capture his own bottom one and he thought he was going to melt into the floor with how weak-kneed he was getting. Fortunately, being pressed up against the wall gave him some support and he was able to stay on his feet as he kissed back, passionate and inexperienced, with everything he had. His eyes closed again and he reached for Valentin to wrap his arms about his neck as though he were a lifeline, pushing his tongue lightly against the goblin king's lips to request entrance. Whatever restraint he'd had with his metaphorical mask was gone. He'd gotten a taste of what it was like to have all of Valentin and he hungered for more.
Valentin Schnell (@Aida Mòrsgor-Ama Ellwood)
PC: Jack Burnett | iNPC: Ginyami Midorimori
9 Feb 2023, 08:49
Thrills & Chills Bash
“If you were to decide you couldn't stand me… I would be more alone than ever.”
Did Ginyami really fear being alone, wondered Valentin. Isn’t he just parroting my own fear back to me, using it as a point of leverage? The way he spoke about it before, so nonchalant… No, I think… I think he’s playing me.
“Respectfully, I disagree. For no one to see you for who you truly are, ever, is a life forever alone. If for even a brief moment two people truly knew each other and united, only to part, then at least they were together once. If things go bad, well, then it’s better to have had something real and painful, in my opinion. I told you. Never spare me. It is the crueler fate.” It was the frost captain’s way. Valentin wasn’t interested in changing people himself, and all he could do was help them according to what they said they wanted. Still, if he was to help others, he expected them to take on the pain their transformation required. Anything else was naïve fantasy that could never progress. If Ginyami truly wanted to live in a world where he didn’t feel the need to wear a mask, Valentin couldn’t feed him even a single warped word. Immediately Val gave back pure candor instead, and it would have to be fine if Ginyami took on such pain more gradually than he did. Never had Valentin met his equal in his speed to sacrifice what was necessary… although Romeo was close. The bastard would take a grenade for someone in half a heartbeat. Still, what should that matter? Romeo had turned him away. At least Ginyami was still here, verbally accepting the challenge of removing the mask. Sure, his real tenor remained to be seen over the arduous course of time, but the Mahoutokoro seemed to be stepping up to try Val out to his fullest.
"I hope you can be patient with me."
“I am patient. That’s the word I use. Others call it ‘grueling.’” Valentin laughed.
Not long after, Ginyami took up the final grape, and Valentin felt himself falling beyond the point of no return. As their lips met, the seeker knew he was flying into the sun. His eyes shuttered under the moment’s intensity but did nothing to counter the gravity pulling him in. Indeed, Valya knew he would never be the same as he watched the beginning stages of his own total undoing: his fear of fundamentally changing was no distant concern. The raven-haired boy tasted of danger and temptation as he clutched Valentin by his very core. It was such a sweet thrill to reveal his greatest weaknesses to Ginyami, just as lovely Mikael’s descent into darkness had lured him closer. Now Valentin was just waiting for Ginyami to take advantage of him, just as surely as he’d charmed the others into purging their demons into him. Surely it was inside these darkest places Valentin’s power could be used to the fullest, he justified. After all, Mikael had taught him that a distant lighthouse can’t save a drowning man. Valya had to be in those depths himself.
Now, maybe Ginyami really would open himself up as utterly as Val desired. If the black-eyed boy could truly let his demons grasp the white seeker freely, Valentin would get a chance to set him free. However bad the odds, Val couldn’t resist trying to raise the boy as high into grace as possible. The blacker the sea, the deeper the dive, and the brighter he'd burn.
Accepting Ginyami’s wish for patience, Valentin remembered the words as if Romeo had spoken them only yesterday:
You have to promise me that you will do something for yourself as much as you want to do it for others. For a moment, the inky memory percolated while the seeker felt himself submerge. This is the way into Ginyami, shivered the realization. This is… Pushing the dark-eyed boy into the wall, Valentin's amethyst eyes flared.
Well, how did that go, Valik, when I tried asking for something for once? Ha. All of this self-denial, time after time, holding myself back so that others can have more… when have I ever taken the catharsis I crave? No, I just keep giving and giving and giving, holding back my magic in order to do no harm… lifting others up. People are so self-absorbed they don’t ask about my selfish desires, let alone try to give me pleasure. I’m a freak to enjoy the highs of others so much, sure. The screams of the crowd, the tears of my team mates’ transcendence, the great relief of their salvation. This is why they believe that the frost captain is unbreakable. Always up before everyone else and the last one to leave, he wants nothing but to serve, yes, he is pure – or so I let them assume. Yet, just because I don’t take doesn’t mean I never hunger. Stribog, do I hunger. When can I ever have my own way? When will I finally take something only for myself? When…? At this rate, I will die without ever living a life of my own. Living vicariously but ultimately alone, even a hag doll is realer than me. This boy… he tells me he cares about what I want, myself…
“Ginyami, I give you all of me. Let me take all of you, as well.”
Hear how he says ‘take all of me.’ Yet, he has tipped his hand. He told me we are alone when he was still revealing true feelings. He intends to use me, and I want him to. I want him to use me to my very last drop, and then… I still won’t get what I want for myself. Even side by side, I would still be forever alone… imagine, immortality in such isolation. I can give him my everything but not receive the one thing I want. He does not believe in it. Yet, how can I say no? It would be so beautiful to see him truly smiling, from the depths of his soul, liberated from his worst problems and so happy… I should do it anyway… I… can’t help myself. Look – how lovely the curve of his lips would be…
Pulling the boy into his kiss, Valentin felt a stab rip through his heart. How did it feel, to really meet lips like this? Soft, wet, warm. Wonderful really. Valentin’s entire body radiated with pleasure, connected to the other boy but alone. Surely Ginyami was happy, right?
Feeling the Mahoutokoro bend under the intensity, Valentin pressed him harder into the wall to stabilize him. Ginyami kissed back, passionate, giving it everything he had as his eyes fell shut. His arms encircled the seeker’s neck and he hung there, pushing his tongue against the white king’s lips to request entrance.
All you do is give, but what about your question, Valik? You remember when Rome said to stop doing this, back when Mikael almost killed you. Think.
What does Romeo care, he doesn’t want me for his own. If I’m to be alone, then at least let me live out my usefulness to the fullest. I need no pity, only to not be wasted. Uselessness is the ultimate desolation.
Yet, Valentin’s lips did not part.
Answer the question.
The white king’s head pulled back as he examined Ginyami’s expression. He couldn’t find even the slightest hint of guile. The mask was gone.
Answer it.
I shouldn’t.
Please.
He doesn’t believe. He’s only using me. He doesn’t love me.
Take something for yourself for once.
I… If I take, I will take it all.
Desperate, Valentin laid his hands atop Ginyami's arms to hold them in place, wanting the fox to be happy. Oh, but how he hungered for the thrill of the boy's tongue. As the answer overtook the frost captain, his arms dropped to pull the boy tight against his chest, and then he closed his eyes.
Do you love him?
Not yet.
Valentin's grip loosened. He was unable to use him back. We are capable of so much more. Let me see everything behind the mask and then I will know if I love him. If he will really take all of me, he has to take my whole heart, too. I wish he would take it. For the love of Stribog, please...
“Ginyami, I want this. I want this so bad, can you see? You set me on fire. I want to completely devour you. Just, I have to warn you. I promised I would make it safe for you. For your own protection, I want you to unlock me over time. Take me, ALL of me, but piece by piece. Please. If you take me on too fast, I could destroy you. I am the broom that can kill you if you don't know how to use me. Learn to master me so that you can truly channel my full power. First you must understand that my heart is wild. You must tame me if you truly want it all.” Shivering, Valentin shook with barely-contained desire.
“Listen, the bash is ending, and Kim and Hiro are waiting for us. We shouldn’t worry them. You know, I heard something about a competition… How about it?”
@Jack Burnett