When the Stars Call You Should Answer Finished

Song Inspiration

Backdated: 10/24/22

Mikael blinked slowly as he sipped out of the old chipped ceramic mug. The chocolate flavor of the hot chocolate was lacking. The amount of powder to water ratio is far off. Despite this, the warm liquid filled up his stomach. Seeping through his stomach lining and warming the other parts of his body. Mikael gripped the cup tightly in his hands as the wind rattled the windows. Cool air seeped through the windows despite them being shut. The majority of the windows had been covered by fabric to try and limit the amount of airflow. Old windows were not well known for holding their own. The small nook was lit by a few candles. Their warm glow radiates the small space. Though, the number of shadows that remained left the room feeling dark. The boy frowned as he picked up one of the candle holders. Moving it carefully, lest he wanted to accidentally blow it out, from the counter to the small wooden table that sat pushed up against the wall.

The boy sighed before taking a seat in the wooden chair. As he sat, it groaned from old age. At this point, the thing could be considered a relic. Honestly, anything in this house could be considered so. A part of him wondered if it would break beneath him. With any luck, it would be fine. Though, he would not lie he held little hope. Things seemed to be breaking a lot more recently. Maybe it was the onslaught of winter that was causing it. His bed frame had broken not too long ago. Leading to him having to move his mattress to the ground. At least he was able to board up one of the broken windows with the leftover pieces. Mikael sipped his drink slowly, enjoying the warm water that lightly scalded his throat as he drank deeply. A small price to pay for the warmth that filled his stomach.

Mikael would finish his drink in a quiet manner. The small groans of the old house were his only company. A whirring sound kicked off as the old clock chimed loudly to signal midnight. It was not correct as it had been behind since he could remember. He honestly was surprised that it was still working. It wasn’t as if there had been much maintenance given to it. When things were hard you don’t exactly have money to fix a clock. The boy frowned to himself standing up to put his cup in the sink. As he did so a loud creak moved its way throughout the quiet house. This creak was far different than the other creaks and groans of the house. This groan had weight behind it. Mikael glanced up from the sink to look towards the door to the kitchen. A frown flitted across his face as he opened the door to the kitchen and peeked into the hallway.

“Mom?” he asked softly. No confusion would be present in his mannerisms. He was quite used to his Mother’s nightly walks. A constant that always brought a sense of calm to the day. The boy took a second pause as he looked at her muted form in the darkness of the hallway. It took him a second to realize she had no light with her to guide her. A bit odd, but something that was easily whisked away from his brain in favor to study her. Even in the dark, he could still make out her tired and sad eyes staring at him. Her blond hair moved in the wind. Shifting like the waves within his mind. She was halfway out of the front door. A part of him felt bad for stopping her, but for some reason, he felt compelled. “Did you want me to get you a light?” he asked the blond-haired woman in front of him. His Mother’s lips thinned before slowly shaking her head.

“No my little turtle, the stars will be guiding me tonight.” such wispy words would come forth from her throat. Like a breeze had passed through the house.

It was said with such certainty that he could not find himself passing judgment. In truth, he really should have.. Mikael pulled the faintest smile for her, his Mother had always had a strong affinity for the constellations. He was sure that her answer was based on some moon cycle or so forth. A part of him wished he had remembered the stories his Mother would tell him as a child. When things were still soft and warm, she would explain things to him. Growing his knowledge of how beautiful the stars could truly be. The small intricacies of it all were now lost to age and the cold. “It looks like a clear night at least.” he offered. “Would you like me to come with you?”he asked a sense of something rising in his chest overcame him as he looked towards her.

“No, I need to do this alone.” she spoke her tone as soft and quiet as ever. Despite her soft tone, there was a determined look about her. Something he could honestly not remember seeing in her.

Mikael nodded his understanding, ignoring the small feeling of disappointment and confusion. “Well,... be safe.” he said quietly. The boy stood in the entryway watching his Mother disappear out of view. As the dark slowly consumed her form, he realized she hadn’t replied. Why hadn’t he stopped her? The boy wanted to break free from his position at the doorway. He wanted to run forward and grab her hand. Pull her back into his arms and never let go. Mikael wished he remembered what it felt like to be in her arms. Why hadn’t he insisted? They could have easily seen the stars from the porch. How did he not understand that something was deeply wrong that night? Looking back on it he felt so fucking stupid. A naive child who hadn’t realized his last words to his Mother had been anything but I love you.

As Mikael lay in bed he stared up at the ceiling of their housing arrangements. He felt cold as he stared, his eyes felt gummy, and yet he refused to close them. These days he found himself avoiding sleep. He didn’t want to see her again. Was that bad? That he didn’t want to see his Mother? Mikael blinked slowly as he softly sighed, the boy sat up from his bed. Maneuvering himself quietly out of the cabin. The boy would sit outside on the ground the warm air wrapping around him in a pleasant way. ‘Look Mama the stars are out.’ he thought to himself. He wondered if she was able to see them from way up high. Were they just as pretty? Mikael didn’t know the answer and instead hugged his knees with his arms. The stars were truly pretty. They called out. First, they had called to his Mother, and now here they were calling out to him. Such a pretty sight. Mikael blinked slowly up at the stars with a disconcerting expression. He wished he had remembered what his Mother had told him. It was a wish that brought nothing but muteness to him.

Finished

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