Bad Advice

Imagine some more imaginary friends which turn into some more real life monsters. Maybe the monsters will battle each other and you can escape! (Success not guaranteed. The monsters may form an alliance or something and go for YOU. But hey, try it!)

My pet dog ripped my favourite dress to shreds. 

Wear the small pieces of fabric proudly.

People say I don't care enough

Isolate yourself from everyone. If nobody comes to you with problems, no one can tell you you don't care about these problems. 

My best friend believes he's a cat. I'm more of a dog person!!

Just convince him that he’s a mixed breed of both cat and dog.

I wanna touch Canadian Gesse cuz they’re so flufffy and adorable, but they start hissinf the me. What do I do?

Tie some bread to your arms and walk towards them. If they bite you, start singing your favorite song.

I want to cut my hair but i don't know how.

Force someone else to cut it for you. If they protest, just hold the scissors in their face threatingly and they’ll be sure to help you. (Can’t garauntee that it’ll be neat, though)

How do I eat longer vegetables without always near-choking?

Take bigger bites. That would give you a 10% chance of choking again......Well that's what my pet frog told me.

I want to listen to music but my tablet isn't working.

Throw it against the wall and yell at it for not working. Then try switching the device.

My best friend hates my favorite movie, and we're about to have a movie night.

Force her to watch it anyway. The more she watches it, the more she’ll warm up to it... right?

I have the hiccups and it sounds really squeaky. Not to mention the fact that I can’t get rid of it.

Drink some soap! It'll get that squeak right out and make your hiccups disappear!

I have a major headache and I don't know how to get rid of it.