Totally Studying Closed

"I understand. It's fine if that is how you see it." Daphne said sadly. She looked like she wanted to cry. She didn't have to say that she was Muggle-Born. The fact that she was happy before that pretty much gave herself up. Josh approached her slowly.

"You happen to be a Mudblood aren't you?" Josh asked calmly. He noticed Daphne twitch a little. She must be confused that her cover was blown. However, Josh wasn't upset. She had been nice to him. That act alone softened his heart. Josh put his hand on her shoulders and continued on apologetically .

"I'm sorry your ancestors were foolish enough to marry those animals that you grew up disliking. I'm guessing your grandfather or great-grandfather was a Squib wasn't he?"

Josh felt so bad for her. It was like she was cursed to be a Mudblood. It's not her fault she became as such. Perhaps she could disown her status and family and become adopted as a Half or even Pure-Blood. Perhaps that will make her feel better. But then again, she may have loved her Muggle parents. There was that possibility. Either way something must be done. He wanted to hug her, but at the same time, he was hesitant. What would she do?

Amaya began to freak out, silently screaming in her head.

WHAT DID YOU DO NO THAT IS NOT HOW YOU WORD IT I APPRECIATE YOU TRYING BUT UGGHHHHHHHHHH. WHYYYYYY AND SHE WAS STARTING TO BE ALRIGHT WITH IT TOOOOOO WHYYYYYYYYYYY GOSH NOOO

Calm, Amaya, calm.

Amaya couldn't stop, though. It wasn't her fault that she could have a mental battle with herself...

WHAT DID YOU DOOOOOOO THAT'S NOT HOW YOU COMFRONT SOMEONE DON'T CALL THEM A MUDBLOOD ERRRGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AMAYA CALM DOWN.

Amaya breathed deeply. "Um, Josh, maybe it's better if you kinda went away for a second..."

Amaya tapped him on the shoulder, ready to lead him away from the Hufflepuff for a second if needed, tugging on him gently, yet still trying not to be awkward about it.

After all, she didn't think that Daph would take kindly to his words, even if he was trying. Well, Amaya thought, at least he did try...

But she hoped she could get him away before Daph exploded. She didn't know the length she could go to, and she wasn't sure she wanted to find out. Even if she was a Hufflepuff, that probably didn't mean she couldn't go full out on him...

"You happen to be a Mudblood aren't you?" Josh asked calmly. Daphne tensed, and her head shot up. It appears she would need some work on her covering up. Her great-grandfather's words stuck in her head again. "Don't let anyone know that you are a Muggle-born." She knew he would hate her now. She had tried to keep her guard up, but it hadn't worked.
"I'm sorry..." was all she could get out. He put his hands on her shoulders.
"I'm sorry your ancestors were foolish enough to marry those animals that you grew up disliking. I'm guessing your grandfather or great-grandfather was a Squib wasn't he?" She shook her head.
"No, he was a muggle-born... my grandfather was a squib, and my great-grandmother couldn't have any more kids." She started to pick at her already hurt hands. "My great-grandfather told me everything I know. Why not to judge anyone by there houses, and what to... hide." She picked at her hands more. She looked up at him, and saw in his eyes he felt bad. "It's fine if you hate me. It's fine... I won't mind. A lot of people didn't like me when I told them that." She looked down at the ground again "Most of all my mother." She again looked up again, not meaning to have said it.

Amaya noted that this was something for them to talk about, perhaps them alone, without anyone to be bothering them.

So she slowly backed away, not exactly wanting to intrude more then she already had, and began her way to disappear among a crowd.

She’d misinterpreted it, and they were probably all confused now.

So Amaya, feeling so ashamed, mingled with the crowd, pretending she wasn’t there.

It didn’t mater, it was all just something that didn’t concern her.

So why did it hurt so much?

Why did she feel hurt and betrayed merely because they needed to talk alone? They needed to resolve it themselves?

Why?

Why?

Why, damnit?

Amaya tensed up. She was being so stupid, so childish...

She’d spent too much time on this.

Her parents were right, she shouldn’t waste time on friends.

They were too complicated.

But she wanted to stay. So she hid behind a bookshelf, found a book, and began to read. Reading for the sake of reading.

She didn’t actually comprehend any of the inky words that flew across the pages.

No, she was too busy caught up being stupid.

Feeling shameful for misinterpreting it.

So she stayed there, reading without reading.

Daphne explained her situation to him. Well what an interesting family. A Muggle/Wizard/Squib/Muggle/Wizard generation. Those things were not heard of before and he was quite intrigued.

"It's fine if you hate me. It's fine... I won't mind. A lot of people didn't like me when I told them that. Most of all my mother." Daphne said feeling that Josh would despise her now. How could he? She had been so nice to him. There was no way he could hate her now. Mudblood or not, this particular Mudblood was different. She wasn't from a typical family of Muggle heritage for generations. She was like two generations apart from being Half-Blood. Josh gently pulled Daphne into a warm hug.

"There's no way I can hate you now," Josh replied. "You're not a typical Mudblood that I particularly hate. Besides, you were unusually nice to me and I wanna thank you for that.

Josh broke off the hug after a moment. He then looked into Daphne's eyes and smiled.

"I won't tell anyone including those in my house that you're a Mudblood. I promise!" Josh stated.

He really meant that when he said it. This particular Mudblood had saved him from going chaotic. Perhaps he can find some time to invite her to change her blood status somehow some way... or not?

"There's no way I can hate you now," Josh replied. "You're not a typical Mudblood that I particularly hate. Besides, you were unusually nice to me and I wanna thank you for that." She was surprised. She had expected him to hate her, to hurt her like her mother had when he found out. She flinched as he leaned into her, but he wrapped his arms around her, surprising her further."I won't tell anyone including those in my house that you're a Mudblood. I promise!" Josh stated. I felt the tears that I had kept locked up in my eyes begin to find the key to there cage again. I hugged him too.
"Thank you." When they pulled apart, she looked over to Amyah. She was gone. "We should go and look for Amyah. She... probably felt left out." She got up and started to walk off. Looking behind her, she noticed Josh sitting there still. She grabbed him by the hand gently and pulled him towards the books. They found her reading in a corner. Daphne sat down next to her. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I really should have..." She trailed off. "I was scared. I was scared of what you would think of me."

Amaya hummed in reply, feeling so embarassed to be found, hiding in the corners reading a book, if only to escape.

She looked away, not quite wanting to speak, then looked back, and gave them a small smile.

A smile that should have been genuine.

She made sure it looked real.

But it wasn’t.

It should have been easy, letting her emotions go.

But it wasn’t.

She stood up, placing her book back, and forced herself to speak.

So giving them a smile, so fake even though she wanted it to be true, she inquired, “You guys okay with it now?”

And it would have been the thing that usually made her blush, thinking she’d made it so awkward, but at this point, she didn’t care.

She hoped they would just let the whole matter of her running off go.

And that they might talk to each other and forget about her speaking, so she wouldn’t have to talk as well.

Breathing deeply, she glanced back up at them, maintaining her smile.

It felt so unnatural.

Everything always did.

At least Daph had tried to tell them in the end.

Or at least, confessed it.

“Let’s go back to our table,” Amaya suggested blankly.

Daphne knew that smile. She knew it too well. She used it on a daily basis, but she would ask later. Daphne got up, holding out her hand to help Amyah up as well. "Again, I'm sorry. I really should have told you. Both of you. It's just... no one... no one liked me." I shuffled my feet. It was true. My fathers were accepting to my face, but I had heard them talking at night.
"Andy, you know I care about her, but I wasn't born with any magical blood. I don't know how to take care of her!" Nathan was talking to her father. Without them knowing she was around the corner listening, they were talking after she 'Came out' to them as a witch.
"Nate, you have to give her a chance. She is going to be fine! I bet that she'll get into one of those schools for magic!" The Hogwarts letter had came three months later.
"I know, she's a good kid, but I can't help but..." Be scared. He had meant be scared.
“Let’s go back to our table,” Daphne felt awful. She needed to make her feel better. She wanted that hug from Josh back. She felt safe in his arms.

“We should go and look for Amaya,” Daphne stated. “She...probably felt left out.” Yeah she’s right. She had always been a quiet one that avoids conversation since I met her. Daphne gently took my hand. It was gentle and warm. I got up and looked all over the library for Amaya. They found her in a corner reading a book.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I should have...” She trailed off. “I was scared. I was scared of what you would think of me.”

After a moment, Amaya looked up and saw them. “You guys okay with it now?” She asked. Josh could tell she was faking it, but it didn’t matter. Josh nodded. He knew she felt weird, but he felt like he should help her.

“Let’s go back to our table,” Amaya suggested. Josh extended his hand towards Amaya. We are definitely gonna make you feel welcome here with us. These are the first friends I have. I will not mess this up.

“Just relax,” Josh stated. You don’t have to feel like you’re faking everything. All of us are friends now.”

It’s true. They were friends. It was a completely unexpected group but they were still friends. Hopefully nothin in the future will destroy that friendship they worked so hard on.

Daphne made her way over to the table, not noticing that she was still holding onto Josh's hand. She led them over to the table, and turned around, seeing the train that she had started. She giggled again. As she sat down, she took another breath. "Alright, I feel like I should tell both of you something else." She smiled at them again. "It's nothing bad I promise." A deep breath. "My full name is Daphne Black." She waited for the realization or the recognition. Her great-grandfather was a pretty famous Gryffindor. He had made sure that muggles who accidentally saw a big magical event forgot. He made front-page news. Then he disappeared. Daphne again went to pick at her hands. She really hated telling people about her grandfather. It wasn't good to be that kind of famous. Especially if she didn't want people to notice her. She looked up and smiled at them again. She didn't want to be fake. Something about these two made her want to open up. To let them in the walls that she had so carefully put up years before. Now she was reaching out her hand to see if either of them would take it.