I'm Drawn to You PV Clair Fernandez

Colin was caught off guard when Clair asked him "did you think I hated your or something?" He could only give her a small nod. He had felt so crushed the other day --- how could she not? All yesterday he felt horrible, too, though he felt so happy after finding AngelFyre up at the stone outcrop. "I don't hate you, you seem like a perfect, innocent 12 year old boy."

He smiled and blushed deeply. He felt uplifted as she spoke to him; he laughed as she got confused about his age.

"No, lass! I'm twelve!" He drew a quick, surprised breath. "Wait! Aren't you twelve too? You can't still be eleven, right? Unless you've been eleven for like two years, right? That doesn't make any sense!" Colin laughed.

She doesn't hate him! His heart soared! Of course, deep down, he knew it was unlikely that she would. Hadn't they spent the whole train ride together? People change, of course, but Clair just didn't seem like someone who could really hate anyone. He reasoned that it was nothing more than fear that had gotten to him; an irrational reaction to what had happened.

"I know you don't hate me, Clair. I --- I was just scared. I was worried that you didn't like me and didn't want me around you. I'm sorry."

He felt a lot better after that, like a weight had been lifted and laughed along with Clair when she said "You know me to well!"

"Well, lass," he said pointing to her sketch book, "it's full of goats! --- Okay, maybe there's a cow and a horse, too!" He loved watching her eyes sparkling with joy. Colin felt as if the last two days were entirely removed from his heart, and he was full of hope again where before he felt so little.

"Honestly! I like Goats, Horses, Cows the Moon is interesting. I like looking at the full moon, The next one is in nine days you know! Say, do you like breaking rules? We could ride our brooms out after curfew and watch the moon!"

Colin's eyes crinkled with laughter. "I hope ---" he blushed again, but Colin felt determined to say some things to Clair that he felt were very important. "I hope I can get on your list, Clair. Maybe even at the top of it?" He smiled at her, hoping she'd understand. "And yeah, I'd love to break curfew with you!" He looked around them suspiciously --- hopefully there were no Prefects sitting nearby who might take note!

He fell silent for a moment when she mentioned watching the full Moon. Oof. He nodded slightly to himself. Alright, lad, he thought. This shall be the first real test! You say you love this girl, Colin lad, prove it! Tell her what she needs to know!

He focused his green eyes into Clair's blue and took a deep breath. "There's something you need to know, Clair. About me. And, um, the Moon. I --- I'd love to go watch the Moon with you. A---Any time. But. Well, anytime but around the full Moon. Er."

Oof. Colin felt himself stumbling and almost he faltered. He had told his dearest friends already. Why was this suddenly so very difficult to tell the girl he loved? Maybe that was exactly why --- maybe it was hard to tell these kinds of things to someone you really liked, someone you loved, because you loved them. It was hard to do, but Colin knew this moment would be seared into his soul for ever. No matter what happened, this moment with Clair would be his forever. That knowledge gave him hope and strength.

"You see ---" Colin reached for his sketchbook and frantically turned back to the page that Clair first saw. She riding her broom, the wolf looking on. "You see," he said, pointing to the wolf, "that's me. On the full Moon. Um. I've got lycanthropy Clair. I'm a werewolf." Oh God, if she's going to hate me, it'll be right ... about ... now.

@Clair Fernandez || Mentioning @AngelFyre McCubbin

"THIRTEEN!? No way!" Colin listened to Clair's explanation --- yep, the maths made sense. He smiled broadly at her. He showed her his fangs --- all four of them! He blushed deeply. "I'm almost twelve and a half, really! I was born thirtieth April. Actually, that's why they named me Colin! My Da's twin brother was named Colin too. They both fought in the Battle of Hogwarts!" Colin smiled and stuck his chest out proudly. "I always thought it was cool that Da and Uncle Colin were warriors. I wish I'd met him for real though. I'll bet he could tell some stories!"

"YESS!" Clair nearly shouted in reply to Colin's acceptance of --- oh my God! Did she actually actually just ask me out?? ON A DATE!?!? Colin thought for a moment he was going to faint --- but nope! He didn't! His heart nearly exploded though!! He'd never felt this happy before, not quite like this, anyway!

He was so excited he got back up into a crouching position on the bench, and his toes curled over the edge. It was all he could do to keep from howling at Clair right then and there! And she actually seemed to be excited that he was a werewolf! Colin felt so awesome at that moment! As he thought back, so far, his friends had accepted his lycanthropy, and some he knew, like Red Charlie and Quinn, were actually trying to cure it. But here was Clair and she was genuinely excited about it!

Colin's heart literally melted --- there was no question at all in his mind any more. Ball or no Ball, this was the girl he would love! He could feel his heart pounding and he knew his eyes were dilated and he must be blushing like crazy! He could only smile when she said she'd never met a real werewolf before. She made his heart soar, and he felt like he could fly! And then the questions began!

He laughed at her first question! "Can I bark!? Aye! I can bark! Do you wanna hear?" Colin stared into Clair's eyes and rested his hands on the edge the wooden table. "Whuhh whuhh whuhh wooo oooo!" He laughed happily. "Wolves bark a little differently from dogs. But I can bark like a doggo too! What it feels like --- well lassie," he said. "Actually, it's the changing itself that hurts. Like the week before, I get headaches and cramps and sometimes I get kind of cross with people. I don't mean to! Oo, and crikey dick, that'll be in just a couple days! But the wolfsbane potion helps. A little bit. But, once I do change and become the wolf, then it's actually pretty cool! I wish they'd let us be around other students --- it's not like the old days where you had to be an animagus to be around a changed wolf! I reckon I'm a pretty sweet wolf! And I go hunting a lot! In both shapes! Mind you, Sophia convinced me that eating raw mice and rabbits would likely put a girl off me, so I cook them now after hunting! That's fun too, and they really do taste better! I don't know what you think of hunting, but, er---" Colin blushed again. "--- I'd be honoured to, you know, hunt with you some time!"

Colin laughed again. He'd never felt so at ease talking with anyone about these things. But Clair really had an effect on him and it was a constant source of wonder to Colin.

@Clair Fernandez || Mentions @Sophia Nelson | @Quinn Root | @Charlie Grace

Colin smirked when Clair said she was old! "As if!" He liked it when she teased him. It made him feel fuzzy and nice inside. He'd have to try teasing her again some time! Colin felt much more at ease with Clair as they kept talking. Hopefully she felt the same!

"Wolfs are so neat! I used to get so excited to see them when we went to the local zoo!"

"Hey! Just don't put me in a zoo!" He gave Clair a slightly lopsided grin. "Maybe your family's farm would be okay? I could kip in with the goats and the cows?"

Colin wondered what kinds of questions she'd ask next. He wasn't disappointed in the least! "My fur!? Yeah, I reckon you can call it fur --- I only have it when I'm in wolf shape. It's blond, too! I'm a blond wolf!" He shook his hair playfully so she could see. He thought about Clair actually seeing him in wolf shape. Colin thought would be really cool. "At least I'm pretty sure it is! Colours looks different to me in wolf shape. Like, I can see yellows and blues, but I don't remember seeing other colours so well. I reckon they kind of blend together somehow. It's actually kind of weird! Like when we go for the Change, I just wear my old green kilt and my black and green shirt. But after the Change, it all just kind of looks like fifty shades of grey!! There's no green or purple or red!"

Colin laughed again as she plied him with questions about eating mice.

"Whoa. I thought for sure you'd be disgusted by that! Eating mice raw! Well, since you're not --- they kind of taste like, er, raw chicken! You know, raw chicken is really kind of tough to chew. It's like that. Sophia told me I'd get sick if I kept eating raw meat in boy shape. But I never did! I reckon I got lucky. But I haven't eaten anything raw since last year. They're much better cooked! Mind you, I can't cook them in wolf shape, so if I hunt anything then, I just eat it raw. If you don't my saying, it's a little messy eating like a wolf --- I'm always getting bits in my paws and blood all over my face. Hah! Well, that's what a good scourgify after changing back into a boy is for!"

He thought for a moment about the others he'd told of his condition. They were all his friends, and now Clair was too. Well, more than just a friend! But still. "Well, I've told everyone I really consider to be my friends." He looked into her blue eyes and held his gaze there. "Now I've told you. That means I trust you, just like I trust them! I wanted to tell you sooner. Even on the train, but, you know. I was thinking of other things then. But let me think!" Colin counted off on his fingers those who knew: "I've told Quinn and Red Charlie, and Monica, and Kim knows now. Of course, Sophia found out --- she was the first who was really cool with it. Pax and Gem know! And, there are a couple other wolves. They know. And now you know! But you're the first non-wolf, Clair, who's actually been excited about it! I'll be honest with you, that's something I really like about you. Um."

Colin began to blush again. There were words he so wanted to say to this girl, yet something still held him back! She's got to be the one, lad! You've got to tell her soon!

But she didn't let him! More questions came, this time about Liam and the question of half breeds. "You mean like half Goblin kind of thing? Do you know, Clair, I don't think I've ever met one! I know there are a couple half Giants --- oh wait! Green Beans! Er, Pea. She's part Veela I think. I snogged her at the spin the bottle game! Oof!" Colin instantly blushed the deepest red ever and he covered his mouth with his hand. "Er, sorry about that, Clair. I --- um --- er --- half breeds, right? Er!"

Colin felt all discombobulated after mentioning Pea. He really did enjoy kissing with her during that game! And with Bailey! And with Piérre! And especially with Athena! He sighed. He'd enjoyed kissing them all! He shook himself like a dog to clear his mind. "Yeah --- how can I dislike them, you know? Half breeds. I reckon there's folks that see us all as monsters. And, while I think it's really very cool you like that I'm a wolf, you --- you do know that if I ever miss my potion, I would become a deadly monster when I go through the Change, right? Even if I'm just twelve! It's that potion that keeps us sane, and you safe." He thought for a moment about that. He couldn't imagine ever mindlessly hurting anyone. Especially Clair! He couldn't live with himself if he ever hurt her that way. "But we've got so much in common, wolves and them. Dhampirs and hags too."

Liam was an interesting question that Colin had actually thought about many times since the attack before the broom race. "You know, I've thought a lot about Liam. Our home was attacked twice this summer, both times by werewolves. I don't think wolves are behind the attacks; I'm certain they're being used, though. I don't know why it is, but Liam was bitten and clawed by a wolf too. Just like me. I was turned, right. But he wasn't. No --- that's not quite right! I'm pretty sure Liam was turned into a wolf too --- I never said anything to anyone, but he, er. He smelled right. He just didn't survive the injuries. They wouldn't tell me anything at St. Mungos, but the healers talked a long time with my Ma. I only caught a few whispers, something about wounds they couldn't heal. That's got to mean, dark magic, lassie. Couldn't be anything else!" Colin smiled wistfully. Then he laughed. "Oh, it would have been grand to run and hunt with Liam!" Tears welled up in his bright green eyes. "We could've herded yer goats for you! And teased you to see if you could tell us apart!" Colin decided he liked teasing Clair too! He paused for a while, thinking over what could have been, had it not been someone choosing evil to harm his brother.

"You're ok with my questions right? I can stop any time, just tell me to stop."

Colin looked at Clair again. "Lassie, I'm alright with it! I don't know what there is about you! I just feel --- well, I feel like I can really just be me around you! I --- that's something else I like about you." Colin blushed again. Whoa. This had really turned into an awesome afternoon! He wondered what sort of questions she'd ask next!

@Clair Fernandez || Mentioning: @Sophia Nelson | @Quinn Root | @Charlie Grace | @Bailey Glade | @Piérre Marchonné | @Pea Elena Fowl

Colin nodded enthusiastically when Clair explained about the book where she'd read about canine vision. "Yeah! It was a real surprise at first! I mean, once I got over the pain of shifting forms, it's like everything hits at once! Even in boy shape I can hear a little better that before and, um, smell better too. That's not always a good thing!" he laughed.

"But seeing differently, that was weird! I kept shaking my head and blinking my eyes, trying to get everything to work right!" Colin shook his head and blinked dramatically to show what he meant. "My brain wanted to see all the colours, but they just weren't there anymore! But in wolf shape, I can see much better in the dark. Now that's awwwesooome! That'd be grand for sneaking around the castle after curfew, right? Unfortunately, I don't have any better night vision in boy shape."

Colin shrugged. "My fur again? You're not going to turn me a rug, are you!?" he teased. "I reckon it's um ---" Colin sought for words to describe it to Clair. "--- Whoa. That was a shocker, too, Clair! Some of it's kind of long --- not as long as my regular hair! But like on my head and on my chest there're like, longer patches. And I've got a tufted tail! But mostly it's kind of shorter or medium I reckon?"

At least Clair didn't seem too grossed out by eating raw chicken. "Clair!" he laughed. "I wouldn't recommend trying raw chicken! It's much better cooked!" He nodded happily when she mentioned visiting her family's farm and meeting her doggo. "Actually, it's kind of interesting, Clair. Because, for wolves that can't get or ---" he leaned in and lowered his voice "--- or bad wolves that refuse to take wolfsbane, right, they'll madly attack a human. But not a dog! I reckon they sense a kinship between wolves and dogs. I was lucky because my first Change was here at Hoggys. I've never had to endure the madness of a potion free Change. I don't think I want to experience that either! But in my wolf shape, I get along well with doggos! Even people, really. I mean, Liam was with me and we fought side by side too. If it weren't for wolfsbane, I don't know Clair, I don't even think I could go to Hogwarts. I'd have to hide. Fr---" He looked into Clair's eyes. "I'd have to hide from you. From everyone."

Colin smiled though when she said she wouldn't tell anyone. He felt reassured, that he could trust this girl with anything. His heart soared and he felt a great sense of hope in her response to him. Colin dared to hope that maybe she would even come to like him.

It did sting a little when Clair considered not being able to tell him apart from Liam. But she didn't seem to bear any malice, and he couldn't help but laugh too. "To be honest, Clair, it was very hard to tell us apart! Especially after a day of playing outside! Oh my, even Ma just summoned both of us even if she only wanted one of us!"

Colin lit up suddenly. "Actually, that was how I showed my first magic! Liam had gotten into our Seanmamó's fairy wing supply --- he loved potions, Liam! --- and didn't she catch me by the ear thinking I was Liam!" Colin laughed at the memory. "She made me out to be the potions thief, and I got real mad when I saw Liam at the door to her workshop. He was laughing so hard I wanted to give him a whack! Well, I stomped my foot and shouted 'I'm not Liam!' and my hair turned black! Even Liam was surprised, and everyone else was happy. Or maybe relieved? Twas almost our eleventh birthday, after all! Maybe they thought I'd be a squib?"

@Clair Fernandez

"Whew! Yeah, I don't think I'd like people walking all over me!" Colin laughed at the thought of Clair turning him into a rug. "I don't think I'd make a very big rug either --- maybe a hallway runner?"

Colin was surprised at how the topic shifted from werewolfery to magic itself.
That's interesting! he thought. Clair started off with some really --- different --- ideas about magic. He listened with rapt attention as she spoke. She'd clearly thought this out, and he sat up straight, trying to catch everything. He knew magic was powerful, he'd been hurt by it, and he'd used it against others and they'd been hurt.

He did laugh at her own first instances of magic! He felt sorry for her tutor Marven, though. Something troubled Colin though: why would Clair's parents hire a muggle tutor? Another thing troubled him: "Yeah, magic is really powerful! I mean," he said, looking up towards the enchanted ceiling; "just think about all the charms and the work that went into that, right? It has to look like the sky, but --- but it can't just be a picture, right? It's got to look like the sky as if the roof were a window! But you're right, even the magic we're learning is really powerful! Remember when me and Green Beans duelled those two other kids? Those were really strong spells!"

Colin was really excited to talk like this with Clair! "But! I---yeah, I do agree that magic fills us with thoughts. Like, you might think this is silly! I want to be able to drive a motor car --- with magic! Seanmamó taught me how to drive her motor car. Well, just the basics! I can't do the magic she can yet! But it's the ideas and the thoughts, right?"

"But, well, I'm not so sure it controls us. Not really. Um. Well, I think it can control us, but... Like, maybe magic can help us with chores, right? So, my Da makes kitchen gadgets. Maybe you have some in your house! He makes these spirtles and spoons that become longer or shorter depending on the size of the pot ye're cooking in, right. And they can stir themselves too; but Ma says that some things just have to be stirred by hand. I think what she means is that no matter how powerful or useful magic is, we can't let it control us. I reckon, if magic does control us, maybe it's because we let it. Does that even make sense?"

@Clair Fernandez