Asking the Unthinkable PV Flash Holmwood Finished

"Oh, really? Really?"

Jack flinched at the repeated word flung at him with such vehemence it might have been a physical projectile. Too late did he realize that particular misstep of his. The look on Flash's face, however, was like a shot through the heart. What had he done to cause that?

"Wh-what?" he stammered as he listened to Flash's tirade. "You're upset because I 'wanted something from you' and I kept it to myself?" His brows steepled. "Flash, just because I might want something doesn't mean I think I deserve it. Why would I ask for something I don't think I deserve? Especially if it's at someone else's - your - cost?"

He tried to take deep breaths between words, trying not to panic lest he say something careless again. "Who am I to ask for your time? I don't want to be like everyone else who just takes and takes from you without a thought to how you might feel about it. And you're angry at me for this?" His voice became small. "I was trying to be considerate of you."

Jack swallowed hard. "Listen, I'm sorry. I'm sorry you felt I was keeping something from you. But it's a lot easier for me to be punched in the face than to...to be straightforward about how I feel when it comes to you. I'm a coward. Weak." He let out a shaky laugh, swaying slightly on his feet. "Heh...besides, if I were to tell you when I wanted your company whenever I wanted your company, you'd get sick of me for sure. I wouldn't be able to handle that."

@Flash Holmwood

"Deserve? Are you kidding me?" Flash's frustration would peak, having been coaxed into unleashing his emotion unwittingly. He would not continue, as Burnett's words continued first. However, everything he said just made him feel more appalled, more lonely. "That's what friends do! They spend time together, they talk to each other! And besides, how are you supposed to know my feelings unless you ask me? You're deciding what I deserve and what I want without my input! That's why I'm angry!"

Flash was boiling, with nothing to do with the endless teenage rage flowing through him. He wished he could throw something, even wished he could smack Burnett in the face, yet maintained enough control over his actions to know he'd regret either. Looking around himself, he'd remember he was in the middle of the hall were his voice could still carry. He was having another tantrum, and that in and of itself was a source of frustration. It was times like this when he wanted to disappear, to retreat from having to exist. Instead, he would bunch his hands into fists, arms still crossed and mouth a thin, cold line.

What followed was a pathetic admittance, Burnett finally saying the truth, that he was afraid of telling Flash his feelings. Though his blood was still pumping, the sight of Burnett's unease and fear lessened Flash's wrath. Becoming very still and quiet, he rolled Burnett's words around in his head. He wouldn't leave too long a silent pause, but would readjust the bag he carried, as everything suddenly felt awkward and uncomfortable. Burnett had always seemed so boisterous and straight-forward, so honest and forth-coming with concerns and thoughts. Then again, he had admitted his fear of losing people before. Somehow, Flash had felt that did not apply to them. To him, Burnett had always been an exception, had always been allowed closer than most.

"Oh." Flash would follow quietly, almost sounding disappointed. "In that case... if you can't handle losing me, maybe it's better if you keep your distance."

Flash's expression would mellow, returning to something more blank. His eyes were cast off into the distance, looking at nothing. Burnett was likely used to seeing this change by now, the point at which he no longer felt attached to the present. To cope with the brutality of reality, he retreated the only way that he could, inwards and distant. With how often life was brutal to him, it was a required trait.

"If you've already decided I'm going to disappoint you, then... really..." Flash inhaled wearily, putting both hands on his face to put pressure on the tension still lingering in his temples. "You're wasting my time."

Exhaling deeply, Flash would look at Burnett one last time, too curious not to know the weight of his words, even though he knew it would break his heart. If this curse didn't stop getting worse, Flash knew he could not hold on forever. He too was weak, too afraid to ask for help, too certain he would be betrayed again. With that decaying health, that quiet slip into hopelessness, it would be pointless to convince Burnett to get closer to him, only so he could watch him slip away. Regardless of his feelings though, he would walk away in the direction of his next class.

The Welsh boy’s mouth opened and closed wordlessly like a gaping fish as he struggled to grasp for words. That’s what friends do. Was it? Had Jack been so long without proper friends that he forgot how to treat them? Or was he just too scared of losing the one he had claimed now that he had claimed him? As much as Jack hated to admit it, Flash was right. He had decided too much for Flash. It reminded him of when Ruka used to scold him for the very same thing; deciding too much for other people. How had he forgotten that?

He watched Flash clench his fists with crossed arms, wishing there was something, anything he could say to make things better, but that wasn’t the sort of thing he was used to knowing how to do. Jack was at a loss. Here he was, angering and upsetting people like usual, but this time it was without having meant to. This time it was with someone who had called him a friend.

When the other Slytherin became quiet, it was harder to endure than his yelling.

"Oh."

He wasn’t silent for long, but the words he uttered after the pause caused Jack to forget to breathe for a few seconds.

"In that case…if you can’t handle losing me, maybe it’s better if you keep your distance."

The blue-eyed teen’s countenance transformed into a mask of something like nonchalance. Jack’s lips parted slightly, his brow wrinkling in dismay as his chest tightened and a knot formed in his throat, closing it up. He had seen that look before, of course, but that blank, distant gaze was worse than the greatest fury Jack had seen Flash display. He was disconnecting from the situation; from him.

"If you’ve already decided I’m going to disappoint you, then… really…" He inhaled. "You’re wasting my time."

Jack clamped his jaw shut, a muscle sliding as he did so. He forced a swallow down his knotted throat and could only manage to nod once. His eyes shown overly bright with moisture, but he quickly wiped it away with the back of his hand and took a deep, steadying breath of his own.

This was for the best, wasn’t it? This was what came of getting too close to people. If he kept Flash at a distance, he could still interact with him without either of them getting too hurt. Even if Flash rescinded his title of ‘friend’, Jack had cared about him before he’d even gotten the title and he would continue to care. No matter that he had made this ridiculous mistake; he could learn from it and move on.

"I'm sorry, Flash," he uttered, watching the other boy walk away until he was out of sight. Then, Jack too trudged to his next class, mind too full of other things to worry about tardiness.

@Flash Holmwood
Jack also leaves the thread.