Closed Tears by the Lake PV Seren Yong

Seren had come out to her favorite tree by the lake. It was well within bounds, but it had lots of shade and she could tuck herself away under it, and people did not seem to notice her there. She had her books with her, in her bookbag, but she had not yet pulled anything out, as she was busy watching the birds fly around. It was a generally lovely day, and she was ever so grateful to have a few moments of peace, where she could just experience the world and not worry about anything.

She pulled her bookbag closer, and was about to take something out when she noticed someone she really did not recognize approaching. She vaguely maybe remembered seeing the other girl at the Sorting Feast, but outside of that, she did not really recall much. Then again, with how withdrawn she had been, who would be surprised by that news?

She watched the other get closer, then stop, facing the lake, and tilted her head, wondering what brought the girl out here. Seren considered quietly leaving... And then the other girl began to sob, and Seren's eyes went wide. The SCREAM almost had Seren running... Enraged screaming had usually meant bad things coming her way, at home. But this girl was not screaming at Seren, and... And she was crying.

There was a long moment of indecision on Seren's part, because she knew that the other girl did not know she was there, and because she did not KNOW the other girl. And because the other girl wore a Slytherin tie, which still unnerved Seren... But then she mustered up the guts she knew she had in her, and quietly stood up, her bag going over her shoulder, and made herself march down the hill to the other girl.

"I... Am sorry for accidentally watching you, but I wanted you to know that whatever it i..is that's upsetting you, if y...you want to talk about it, I am willing to listen?" Her words were spoken in a soft voice, just loud enough for the stranger to hear her, and there was a frisson of fear in them, but also honest caring. She was proud of herself, too, that she had mostly controlled her tendency to stutter when nervous.

Shiawase had continued to cry all the one until she heard another person's voice. Oh, no. Oh, no no no no NO. She hadn't been alone after all! Someone saw her! Shiawase buried her face in her hands. Great going, checking your surroundings, idiot! Stupid, stupid idiot!

She let out a deep shuddering breath into her hands, then wiped her eyes and sniffled. And quickly forced a smile.

"O-oh, it's . . . nothing. I'm fine." She took another deep breath. It was all easier now. Yeah. She would be fine. She just had to pull herself together. "You, uhhh . . . come to the lake a lot? I was frankly surprised anyone else was out here. It's usually quiet here. That's why I . . . ." She sighed. "Okay, fine. I was trying to be alone. I'm not fine, actually. I just . . . but I will be, you know? It's just, everything's changed so much. I . . . I keep pretending it doesn't bother me, you know. That I . . . well, I guess I should start from the beginning . . . ." She took another deep breath.

"When I got on the train to come to Hogwarts, I was in a wheelchair. But I wasn't paralyzed. I just . . . had very spastic and weak leg muscles, you know? I could technically use them, but only if I used crutches . . . and only if I walked short distances . . . . A-after the . . . Sorting Hat ceremony, I was told . . . that and the fluid buildup in my brain could be fixed. And . . . I wanted to learn. I wanted them to do it. Not because I felt I needed to be cured, but because I felt like I had to know what the cure was. What it looked like. How to do it. And, well, I . . . knew things would be tough for me here . . . if I didn't do it. Look at all the stairs, for one. So I agreed to it and we went to St. Mungo's and then . . . I was not cured. They damaged my nerves, trying to cure the nerve damage I had! And . . . and I'm so angry! I can't move my legs at all! I don't feel them anymore! And I pretend, oh, it's fine. I was disabled anyway. But it's not! It's not fine!" She took another deep breath, trying to calm herself.

"I don't know what to tell my family. I . . . I screwed up! I should never have tried to do that . . . I feel like I'm being punished for asking too much! They know nothing about this . . . and our whole lives will have to be uprooted for it, because what I had before, it won't work for me being paraplegic now. And then I have this wheelchair for getting around the school, Hogwarts issued, and it's fine, it's just . . . I'm stuck in it. Like, all these other people can fly. Everyone else can fly. But I'm stuck here, firmly on the ground, because I have no way to balance on a broom! And like, there are little reminders, every single day, about my predicament. All the stairs. All the looks people give me. All the looks the paintings give me! It's everywhere, all the time! People here don't even know what a wheelchair is, and I have to explain! I constantly have to teach others, and sometimes, sometimes I get so sick of it! And I just . . . I miss my old friends. I miss my old school. I miss my family. I miss technology, too, darn it! I want to be able to just call home, not send a letter through an owl and hope for the best!" She took another large breath, and this time, she finally seemed to relax.

"I'm sorry about all that. I guess I had a lot pent up there. I guess, I knew I couldn't pretend I was fine after all you'd seen, so I . . . I guess I overshared. I . . . I'm willing to listen to you, too, if you ever need it. I'm . . . I got so caught up in this, I forgot my manners. I'm sorry. My name is Shiawase Mamori. N-nice to . . . meet . . . you? That sounds so strange after all that I just said." She smiled coyly. "If you want to ask me anything, that's also fine. I . . . know I complained about it, but I don't really mind. It's not individuals asking me things that's the issue. It's the fact that I can't seem to catch a break from it that is. But right now, answering questions would be a good break from what I'm doing right now, which is thoroughly embarrassing myself, so. Yeah."

Reducio

@Seren Yong

Seren froze, anxiously, when the other girl covered her face at the realization that she was not, in fact, alone. Oh Merlin, had Seren messed up? Was the other girl going to get mad at her? What if she was like Seren's parents? And then her body relaxed when the other girl looked up and smiled. Even if she was trying to pretend she was ok, the stranger was not getting mad at Seren, so that was a decided bonus in the shy girl's mind.

She tilted her head, listening to the new person as she first denied she was upset, then finally admitted it... And unleashed a long story that had been clearly weighing on the stranger's mind for some time. Seren moved a little closer, and knelt next to the chair, because there wasn't a better seat available and she did not want to tower over her new... Acquaintance? Was that even the right word for someone she met in this situation? She did not know, but she felt it was the best she had in her mind for the moment.

But she listened, her expression showing honest caring and concern about the other girl's words, her eyes reflecting no judgement or cruel intentions. Her hand came up, a little shyly, to rest against the other's in an attempt at a comforting gesture. She wanted to hug the other girl, but she did not know if that would be welcome. Touch was not welcome by everyone, after all, and she did not want to make the other girl more unhappy. The hand touch seemed risky enough, in this situation.

When Ms. Mamori finished her rant/emotional explosion/monologue (Whatever was appropriate here, Seren was pretty sure none of those words were right but her upbringing did not give her the word she felt she needed here), Seren considered for a moment, silently deciding how to proceed. Finally, the slender twelve year old spoke, her voice still quiet, but there was empathy laced through every word. "Well, to start with, it is a pleasure to meet you, Ms. Mamori." She had been taught from an early age to assume she did NOT have the right to use first names without permission. Taught... Well. "I am Seren Yong. I will admit that some of the things you speak about are unfamiliar to me. I grew up in the Wizarding world, so I do not know as much as I might about Muggle medical issues or life."

She did not mention her blood status, almost blatantly, leaving it for Ms. Mamori to guess or ask if she at all cared. "But I can understand that this world is so very different from what you knew, and to have to deal with our Healers making such a horrendous mistake so early on must have surely shattered your trust in us, and for that, I am so very sorry. You deserved better."

She paused, and then flushed a little in an embarrassed way, as she continued. "And... You are not the only one grounded. I can not fly either, and I do not have a physical reason for it. I am just terrified of heights, which is... Well, there are those who think less of me for the fact that I will not fly if I can avoid it." She hoped that the Slytherin did not, because so far, the other girl had seemed to be as much the opposite of what her parents had her convinced Slytherin meant as possible. "I know it does not, in any way, compare but... You are not the only one trapped on the ground, if it at all helps."

She brushed her fingers along the end of her (currently a deep blue) braid, trying to figure out if she had anything else to say that might seem at all comforting. "And... Do not apologize for allowing yourself the chance to let out what you have been keeping inside. Everyone, no exception, needs to do that sometimes. Having to hold it all in is just painful I am glad you let me hear your words, because I am glad I got the chance to let you express it. Even if I can't do anything else to help, I am happy to listen. We all hurt, in some way or another. Having someone to share the pain with helps, I think."

She fell silent, her cheeks flushing again as she wondered if maybe she had made an idiot of herself anywhere in there, but she felt she did not have anything more to say that was useful. "As for questions... I think, unless you want me to ask, I will let it be. You are asked enough, from what you said. I do not need to know more than you have told me, honestly." Another short pause, then, in a slightly fierce tone, one that might seem at odds with the previously quiet and shy way she spoke, she added "And don't you think you've embarrassed yourself by letting it out. If none of your friends have seen that you need a chance to vent, that you need a break from being strong sometimes, that is on them to be ashamed, not you! Emotions are important to let out, to express. Otherwise, they... Get all tangled up."

And then she fell silent again, even less sure of what to say, but at least she knew she had tried.

Shiawase smiled slightly. "We're far past the point of being formal with each other, I should think. You may call me Shiawase, as long as I may call you Seren. How does that sound?"

She nodded when Seren mentioned she didn't know much about Muggle stuff. "Yeah, it's really hard to tell who would and wouldn't around here. It's okay. You . . . seem to understand plenty, though. Yes, thank you for saying that I deserved better. It didn't shatter my trust in this whole world or anything, not irreparably. But it did destroy my trust in me, though. I thought I knew what was best for myself, at least, but I was so wrong. Now I second-guess every decision I make, when before that happened, I was so sure I was doing the right things. And that hasn't come back, really. I still pretend to be confident, sure. I bury myself in work all the time so I don't have time to doubt myself - I make myself move to the next thing so the doubts can't creep in."

When Seren blushed and admitted she also couldn't fly, Shiawase smiled encouragingly.

"We all have our fears. And getting over something like that is no simple matter. But there are methods for addressing anxieties along those lines. Step-by-step processes. If you want to try sometime, then I can help you through it. But it would take a lot of work on both of our parts. It will be rather difficult, because what works for one person doesn't work for another, and we will likely try many things before we find what works for you. But if you're interested, we can go somewhere and try to work through that. However, if you're not interested, there is nothing wrong with that. And there is nothing wrong with saying 'no.' You don't even need to give me a reason. I get it. I just wanted to give you the option." She then nodded along as Seren mentioned how everyone needs to let out things they're keeping inside.

"Yeah, I know that, intellectually. But then I feel like, I gotta be the strong one, you know? The nurturing one. And don't think you did nothing to help! Listening is plenty, and yes, having someone to share the pain is very helpful! I hadn't wanted someone to hear me do all this, but . . . I'm glad you did. Because I really needed this. I've convinced myself that I always need to take care of everyone else, but then I never let anyone take care of me." She nodded as Seren said she wouldn't ask questions.

"Yeah, you seem to understand the heart of what I'm saying. The rest doesn't matter so much." She then blushed when Seren mentioned that she shouldn't be embarrassed about what happened. And talked about how her friends should have noticed and they should be ashamed for not, and . . . all of that made Shiawase feel even more self-conscious. She offered a friendly smile.

"I'm flattered that you're looking out for me so. But, the shame isn't on my friends, truly. I was the one actively hiding it. If I told them I needed space, they would probably understand, you know? And if I said I had to vent, they would probably let me vent. I'm the one who wasn't giving them a chance. But, after talking with you like this, well . . . I'm really glad I gave you a chance. You're right about emotions getting tangled up if they're not expressed. And I want you to know, that if you ever need to vent to someone, I'll be there for you, too. And I will repay your kindness one day! Do you like sweets?"

The question was out of her mouth before she could stop it. Back home, that was how she would show her appreciation - making people their favorite foods from scratch. But she didn't know if she could do that here . . . she blushed deeply.

"I mean. Never mind . . . I mean. I would love to make you something in return, but I don't know if I'm gonna be able to just, pop into the kitchen and do that like I would at home."

Reducio

@Seren Yong

"Shiawase..." Her voice showed her pleasure that Shiawase had given her permission to be informal with her. "Of course you can call me Seren. I prefer it, truly. I just never... Assume that I have permission to be so familiar with someone new." She sounded like she did not want to go deeper into that issue, and her eyes skittered away to look out at the water, nervously, for a moment, then back to her new companion.

She tilted her head, frowning just a little at the thought that the other girl was questioning herself over the fact that the accident had happened, and she was silent again... It was obvious that she liked to think carefully before she spoke, almost as if she was afraid to speak without being certain of her words. When she did speak, though, she sounded determined and firm. "But how would you have known that they might do that? I am certain they spoke to you beforehand, and they were the adults, Healers who surely spoke of this treatment in a way that made it seem like they knew what they were talking about and doing. How would you, as someone new to our world, know that they might not be as skilled as they sounded? Did they even mention that this was a potential outcome? If not, you are not at fault, and nor is your ability to make decisions for yourself. They are, the adults who gave you false hope and did not tell you everything."

She paused, and once again brushed her fingers along her blue braid, as her eyes narrowed. "And even if they DID tell you that there was a chance this could happen? I am going to guess they minimized it, made it sound very unlikely, and that your best choice was to listen to them. And if that's the case, again, it's on them. You were given what must have seemed like a miracle to someone new to magic, and then... And then you learned the hard way that magic is no more perfect than Muggle Medicine." She sighed a little, her eyes sad that the other girl had to deal with that. Coming into a world that could seem like a dream come true, or a nightmare waiting to happen, was surely more than enough for most Muggleborns. To have this happen? It seemed so terribly unfair to Seren.

Seren glanced at the other girl, blinking slowly at her offer, but her expression went a little green at the idea of trying to do much about it. "Maybe... I am trying, not going to lie. The moving stairs scare me, honestly. I've been on them when they moved a few times in a way that left me terrified and wanting to just go hide in my dorm. But I do not know if I am ready for more than that."

She looked down at the ground as she moved on to the next subject to respond to. "Taking care of everyone is impossible though. And... Everyone should take a turn at taking care of their friends, because no one should have to shoulder the burden of caretaker all the time." She glanced back up, eyes a little old looking for her age, and tired. "Even if you are the most experienced or the oldest or whatever... We have to take time to let ourselves be cared for, when that option is there. And... Maybe your friends would like a chance to know they can help you, too, instead of feeling like you are doing it all. After all, no one wants to be a burden, and sometimes, if all you get to do is be taken care of, you feel like a burden."

Her brother had told her that, once, though not in such... Eloquent words. He had a good vocabulary for his age but he was going to turn seven in a little bit, so 'for his age' was a bit limited. He had told her how he wanted her to care for herself, especially with how their parents treated her. He did not need her to take so much care of him. It had been hard to hear, but at the same time, it had been a relief, too, knowing that when she went off to Hogwarts, he'd be fine.

It was not like her parents were going to mistreat him, after all.

She then glanced up in surprise at the question about sweets, and then the way Shiawase seemed to get embarrassed and reverse a bit. She blinked a little, then smiled a bit, eyes interested. "You know how to make sweets? That's so cool. I was never allowed in the kitchen at home. The House Elves... Do not approve."

Shiawase smiled gently.

"Well, you have my permission," she said. And in all honesty, she figured most people prefer to be called by their first names by their peers. At least, for her personally, "Ms. Mamori" reminded her of being in class. She loved class, but it was hard for her to relax when addressed in that way. Being called "Ms. Mamori" meant it was time to straighten up and focus, making it hard to relax. Surely most everyone else also felt this way? She had wanted to share this insight aloud, but whether it was the tone of Seren's voice or the way she had averted her gaze, Shiawase decided not to. It seemed obvious her companion wanted to drop it. So, Shiawase decided to drop it. And then Seren started talking about how Shiawase couldn't possibly have known this would happen.

"You're right, of course. If I thought mistakes were common, I would never have agreed in the first place. I trusted the adults who told me I'd be cured. I thought the risk was minimal. I couldn't have known this would be the outcome. I never even considered the possibility of this - I did think I was being handed a miracle. I had no concept of how magic works . . . I guess I just, wish I had known what I do now. I feel like my decision wasn't truly an informed one. Actually, it was a bit of a rushed one. I was taken to get it corrected the very night they gave me the possibility it could be - I didn't have time to really think it through or learn about the specifics of the procedure like I would at home. I mean, I did think it through, but it was only a few moments of thinking on it. I was swept up in the excitement of it and didn't have time for that to wear off and really carefully consider things. And I guess, I blame myself for not asking for more time . . . but I shouldn't have had to in the first place! I should have been given it. I keep circling back to, I should have known, but you're right. I couldn't possibly have known. I made my decision with the incomplete information I had, and I shouldn't put that on me. But I still do - and I guess . . . I can correct my behavior and make better decisions in the future, but I can't do anything about the adults who messed up, now, can I?"

Shiawase then shook her head at the mention of the moving stairs.

"That wouldn't be where we'd start. If we were to do this, we'd start with something of a consistent and stable height. Nothing that moves. The idea is to start really small and work up, not to throw you in head-first. It sounds like moving stairs are too much right now. I'd need some time to learn what we might have at our disposal to help out, but we'd start with something more like, a step-ladder, or maybe a tree, wherein you get to decide just how high you climb. No one gets to dictate where your limits are except for you."

As she mentioned that no one wants to feel like a burden, Shiawase couldn't help herself and said, very emphatically, "Exactly!" She then cleared her throat.

"What I mean is, I have been disabled my whole life. Everyone wanted to baby me and take care of me, like I had no agency or anything. So I learned to do things myself and not ask for help because as soon as I ask for help, I'm admitting they're right in thinking I can't do it on my own! But I can! And in the Muggle world, people see this wheelchair I use and think I can't speak for myself, so they talk to those around me instead. But I can talk for myself just fine!" She sighed. "Maybe I do, you know, make others feel burdensome when I don't let them help me. Maybe I have gone too far in saying I don't need help. I just don't want things to swing the other way, where I feel like I'm the burden. Not again. I'd felt like one just for existing before, you know. We weren't in a space where I could access what I needed, so I shouted, 'I could do it myself if this place would let me!' I was five then. And as soon as we were in a home that was accessible to me, I did everything myself. I never want to go back there. I never want to be in a place where everyone thinks of me as 'poor' and 'frail.' I'm not. And I guess, that's why I don't want people to see me cry. And I guess, that's why I wanted to be cured so bad - this school isn't exactly handicap accessible, you know. Wouldn't it be great if I didn't have to worry about that? Wouldn't it be great if I never had to worry about that again? And now I'm back to being mad."

Her fists clenched. She averted her gaze and took a deep breath. She then offered the friendly smile and talked of repaying Seren.

"Yes, I do. Been cooking for myself and my siblings since I was young, so I know how to make sweets but also plenty of savory dishes!" She then tilted her head. "What are House Elves?"

The permission blatantly given earned Shiawase a bright smiler than she'd been given before, and Seren gave a slight sigh as she relaxed a bit.

She leaned back to listen to Shiawase's response, her head tilted as she listened to her new friend (Did Seren have the right to call Shiawase a friend? They'd barely met, really, but at the same time they had been talking about some pretty deep stuff, personal stuff.) work her way through her emotions and what had happened. Seren was extremely pleased to hear her acknowledging that the situation had perhaps been beyond Shiawase's ability to fairly make decisions. When she finished, Seren gave her an extremely sympathetic expression. "Agreed. You should not have had to make a decision like this without being given all the information, and time to make the decision an informed one. And I mean. We're first years. Decisions like this should honestly involve our parents, too, if that's an option."

Her tone made it clear she understood that not all situations made that an option, for... Whatever reason that could be so.

"But sadly, no, you can not do anything about them failing you and making such a major mistake. Now, though... You know better. You know that sometimes the adults in our world are too hasty, and you might need to rein them in. Sad, isn't it, that we, the children, have to say 'HEY give us time and let us learn' or something of that nature?" Her eyes went a little sad, her expression a little sour, as if she did not have the best view of adults in the Wizarding World.

She blinked at Shiawase for a moment, then flushed as she realized her explanation of what she meant had not been clear enough. "No I was not saying that's what you meant. I meant that, on a day to day basis, when I have to go up or down, they cause me fear. But I have to face them, because I can't get where I need to go without it. I mean. My dorm is at the top of Ravenclaw Tower. We can't not go up the various stairs, if we want to go to bed, us Ravenclaws, along with the Gryffindors. I think I envy you guys, to a degree... The stairs to the Basements never seem to move that I've seen. But I am constantly forcing myself to face these things, because I do not have a great deal of choice."

She leaned back, listening again, and considered all of Shiawase's points, and she gave a slow nod of understanding. "I think what you're looking for is a balance. Maybe try to remember that your friends are your friends because they care about you, right? So they want you to lean on them, just like they lean on you. I know you do not want to be a burden, or to feel helpless... But just try to remember that when it comes to your friends, they want you to know they can be there for you. And... I understand being mad. Remember that anger, though, can be used to fuel constructive growth, rather than restricting us." She gave a small, almost vicious smile at that, as if it was something she used herself, sometimes. "I hope that someday, we can find a way to help you never have to feel that way again, but for now... We roll with were we're at, and work to make it better."

Her expression became actively interested, and delighted, at the knowledge that Shiawase could cook. "Oh wow, that's super awesome. I find food and how it's made super interesting, but it's hard when you live in a situation where you do not get the option to learn." She blinked at the question about House elves and paused, trying to figure out how to explain it. "Um. House elves are... Well." She looked uncomfortable, because Merlin was this a difficult situation. Anyone who had read modern history knew about how some important people viewed these issues. "They're technically servants to Wizarding homes and organizations... But. It's a really complicated situation. They... It's more like slavery, because they're not paid. But also? They don't usually want to be paid. They're another species, and they have a very different world view. A House elf that is treated well, and with respect, is the best servant a person can have, because they are living the lives they want. But at the same time, what would happen if a house elf had never been raised to know that life?"

She grimaced, in a way that made it clear she did not like the duality of this problem. "And the answer is I have no idea, because that never happens. As a species, they choose to find homes, and be the servants there, if they are free for some reason. Some say a house elf without a family or organization to care for has no purpose in life. We have a lot of them here at Hogwarts. They make our food, and do all the cleaning. You never see them, because they don't want to be seen generally. But there are families that have them. They uh. Tend to go to families with money or old bloodlines. Not sure if it's snobbery on their part, or just that because a lot of elves are sort of generational alongside the families they serve, there aren't a lot running around looking for homes. But in homes with them, they do the cooking and in my parents' home, are decidedly not interested in allowing one of the family into the kitchen to learn how."

"It wasn't an option in my case," Shiawase said. "It should have been, but my parents aren't part of this world. They aren't magic. And even though the school sent someone who explained what was going on to my parents when I got my letter, about this school and the fact that it's real, and all that, well. I get the impression they don't want my parents to have real say in what happens as long as I'm at Hogwarts." Shiawase sighed. "I guess I'm not sure if they explained what they intended to do, my parents would have fully understood, in any case. But my mom's a doctor, herself. She would have at least known the right questions to ask, I should think. I really don't know, though. I'm sure the worlds are separated for a reason, but I think it's to the ultimate detriment of both."

Shiawase then nodded as Seren talked about how she couldn't do anything about their failings. "Yeah, I know I can't do anything about it. And yeah, it is sad. But we will grow up, and we will be the adults in the future, and then, we will not need to be told to be reigned in. We will become the example of who we want to be, and inspire the best in others! I'm sure of it!"

She then covered her mouth, as Seren explained what she meant. "Oh. . . . Oh! But . . . oh!" was all she could think to say at first. But then she cleared her throat and removed her hand. "Sorry for misunderstanding. I didn't realize that's where the Ravenclaw common rooms are. Oh, that sounds horrible to try to traverse every day. But . . . I should like to see it for myself. Would you let me accompany you to your common room today? I'll only take you as far as the painting!" She couldn't help but be curious as to what going up and down those stairs would be like - they couldn't really be that different from the stairs to the basement, could they? And yet, even if they weren't, exactly how many stairs did they have to climb? She wanted to know! But her curiosity wasn't the only reason she asked. She also wanted to see if there was any way she could help find a way to make such a climb more tolerable. For this day, she could at least be there with her and try to keep things calm on her end, but she couldn't reasonably climb the stairs up to the painting outside Ravenclaw's common room and wait for Seren every single day . . . could she?

. . . Maybe until she found a way to make it better for her, though, she could . . . but only if Seren wanted her to. She had only just met her. Seren might not be comfortable with that. Shiawase would be sure to ask her on the way to the Ravenclaw common room if she agreed to let her accompany her.

Then Seren talked about finding a balance and how anger could be used constructively. "Yeeeaahhh. You're right. I am looking for a balance. I guess I won't find it by not talking to anyone about it, though. I might owe some people some apologies. And treats. And as far as my anger, well. Yes, ultimately, I want to make something of it. But for now, all I can do is scream! I don't even know where things went wrong in the first place, I mean, when it came to the procedure part of it! I don't know enough about magic to know specifically what caused my injury! So! I'm going bury myself in my studies so I can figure out what happened! And then I'm going to become the best healer in the world and I will do the spell right so no one who comes to me will have to worry that I can't do it and that I'll screw it up! That'll be the good thing I make come of this! I'm gonna do whatever it takes!"

She breathed deeply. And then smiled at Seren. "Well, maybe I can teach you what I know sometime!"

And then Seren talked about house elves, and the more she said, the harder Shiawase's fists clenched. She was shaking. And it was obvious she wanted to interject, but she waited. She waited until Seren was done speaking. And then. Only then. Did she blurt the words she was holding in.

"That's barbaric!" she yelled. "Of course the house elves would say they enjoy it. They probably convinced themselves of it to cope with their situation! They have no idea what freedom looks like, from a practical point of view, so they insist they don't want change! Why? Why are wizards okay with slavery??? Slavery is not good! It should be obvious it's not good. Do wizards even read??? Books??? If they did they'd know! Human slavery happened before, and no matter how people dressed it up! 'Oh, they're indentured servants.' 'Oh, but the slave masters are kind!' 'Oh, but they need us to enslave them because otherwise they won't survive. We're heroes! No matter what they said, slavery was still wrong and still abolished! Because it's unquestionably evil to own another human being. Unquestionably evil to brutally torture them! Unquestionably wrong and horrific! So how is it okay to enslave another sentient creature? Whatever the excuse, you're still owning them and still treating them inhumanely and it must stop! I mean, I don't mean you specifically. I mean wizarding society as a whole!"

She looked up at Seren, trying to meet her eyes. "How do I stop it? How do I free the elves? I can't do nothing now that I know this! Please tell me how I can fix it. There must be something I can do! I'll . . . I'll leave coins around! For the house elves. So they can be paid for their work at least! A-and I'll . . . I dunno . . . maybe I'll speak to the Headmaster. See how much the house elves are being paid for their labor . . . they surely were hired on here as staff, not slaves, right? So they're surely being paid a livable wage, right? Do house elves even get to have their own property? Oh . . . maybe. Maybe I should see if I can find a house elf and ask those questions. Yeah. I just. I dunno. I shouldn't do it myself. I'll get too angry. I'm . . . too . . . angry! I need to find some way to get myself back to thinking straight and I think I'm too mad to know how!"