Clearing the Mind
An afternoon glow poured through the tall windows of the Rehearsal Room. The small boy could be found bowing his way intently through the arpeggios of Caprice 19 -- a piece he had not touched for two weeks. The two-week break that Allegra Steinway had prescribed for him had been difficult to take at first. For the first couple of days, his mind was in turmoil: Had he really made the right decision to stop cold-turkey for two weeks, right after his talent show performance? Could he really pick the violin back up again after so long? Would his fingers be stiff and sluggish, bereft of practice and exercise, the muscle memory gone? However, despite his initial unrest, he worked through his doubt. Allegra had said it would be difficult, after all, but it was important for him to reset after months of unhappiness with his progress and his instrument.IC Date: Monday, September 27, 2021
Late afternoon
Like any relationship, his relationship with the violin needed care, patience, and sometimes space.
So, he resolved to push the doubts away and take the much-needed break -- one his parents would never have allowed. Their method was one of hard-headedness and unrelenting discipline; no pain, no gain. If they knew of the break their son decided to take, he would've received much chiding and scolding, if not something more serious.
But once he resolved to take a break, it became so natural. He saw the world with new eyes and experienced it as a new self. He flew on a broom, like a bird in the air, for the first time with Maggie and Cash. He worked out in the morning with Flash, and felt his body strengthen each day, accomplishing things he never would've thought possible for a small boy like him. He cast his first successful spell at a moving target and saved his friends from geese attacks. He studied with friends and learned and experienced new things every day, living his Hogwarts life to the fullest.
After those two weeks, he knew he was ready to get re-acquainted with his new old friend, who had been smashed to pieces just the day before but kindly put together by Winnie. Was the sound a bit brighter, or was he imagining it? He couldn't help being the tiniest bit sad that the worn thumbprint on its neck was no longer there. It had been a sign of his tireless practice, almost a badge of honor.
But picking up his violin again had not been as difficult as he had imagined. Years of practice had ingrained that technique finely into his mind and his fingers. His scales were a little out of practice, but it was nothing that couldn't be fixed with an extra week of effort, he knew. What was most important to note was that he approached the instrument with renewed vigor. Was there actually a sense of deep excitement as he played the first page of Caprice 19? It was like seeing an old friend this time, and he couldn't help smiling at the thought. Just over two weeks ago, he had been frustrated and distraught at the idea of practicing the piece, and now he was eager to return.
At the end of the page, he paused a bit and looked up as footsteps approached — he had been so focused that he didn’t hear anything sooner. That must be Ming! He had asked his best friend to meet him at the Rehearsal Room when he had time this afternoon, and his friend had perfect timing. He was just wrapping up here, anyhow. He knew that Ming had wanted to speak with him for a while now, especially after the escapade on the quidditch training pitch where he nearly fell off a broom. It had surely been an eventful day, but Avery felt it had turned out fine eventually. Ming, however, was more sensitive to things going wrong, he knew, and Ming cared for Avery as much as Avery cared for Ming. Perhaps they needed a conversation to help them strike a balance of sorts, so they wouldn't butt heads all the time?
"Ming!" he called out, voice echoing slightly in the large room with top-notch acoustics. "Perfect timing! I've just finished for the day, I think. You can take a seat at the piano bench if you want? Have you been in here before? I think it's a good change of scene from our dark common room, and the light is great in here during the afternoon." He took a moment to admire the streaming sunlight. "How've you been?" It was the first month of school, but so much had been going on already, that it was difficult to catch up sometimes, with the talent show, Ming's muggle curriculum, and Avery's quidditch goals. It was nice to finally take a breather together.
@Hui Ming
Clearing the Mind
@Avery ChenHui Ming had not had the best introduction to the magical world. From a contentious train-mate, to culture shock, to adjusting to a whole new world. Oftentimes, the bespectacled first-year felt like he was the only one who could see the world as it was.
Perhaps, he was merely a worrier. Worried about the dangers of magic, the dangers of irresponsibility, worried about being unable to trust the system or the people in it.
Maybe he would have felt more comfortable in a posh private school instead of Hogwarts. Hogwarts, for all its vaunted history, remained a mere public school, after all. Bounded to teach everyone regardless of intention or ability.
Or maybe he was right, and there was a sinister edge to the school. That there were dangers lurking on and underneath the surface, keen to ensnare those who took things too lightly.
Ming had spent countless hours revisiting his conversation with Miss Evelynn. She was a Gryffindor prefect, and seemed to genuinely understand his plight. But even she had dismissed his concerns as largely unfounded.
Was he silly to worry about the harm that seemingly everyday activities could cause? Was it truly irrational to try and ensure that he and his made it through this deathtrap safe and sane and whole?
This was his frame of mind and thought process as he met up with one Avery Chen. His unlikely best friend in Hogwarts; a boisterous and trusting boy who seemed to absorb the (un)realities of Hogwarts in a totally different way.
It had taken every bit of restraint to not give Avery a very public talk-down. But rationality had won out over his concern for his friend, and Ming had managed to contain himself to merely asking the cheerful boy for an audience.
That the meeting would occur here, in the music practice room, was unexpected. Ming had never had much talent for music, to the eternal shame dismay of his Father, and music itself held no allure for the first-year. So it surprised him that Avery would partake, or have any reasonable skill in the art.
But then, surprises were now the norm, were they not?
And then Avery opened his mouth, and it was all Ming could do to keep his jaw from dropping. This was Avery? The Avery he knew was loud and well-meaning. Who was this thoughtful and restrained kid wearing his friend’s skin? Did the music room change a person that much?
A moment passed, and then another. And finally Ming managed to get a hold of himself.
Clearing his throat, the bespectacled Slytherin walked over to a pillar, taking his time to look around the room. He had run this conversation in his mind several times, but this was not what he expected. He had been ready for a loud Avery, even a blatantly selfish one. But…
“This is a nice room.” It was a pointless observation, and did nothing for the conversation he meant to have with his best friend. But it was a start. Ming would need to ground himself and stop being constantly wrong-footed by every single development that Hogwarts threw at him. ”Quite the change of scenery, indeed.”
Dark eyes found Avery, the slightest of frowns marring Ming’s handsome face. A moment of evaluation, a decision.
”I’ve been.” Ming said simply, and not untruthfully, before moving on. ”I hadn’t realized you played music, Avery?”
Sentence and question and accusation, all rolled up into an awkward half-question.
Last edited by Fang Hui-Ming on 15 Jun 2022, 05:09, edited 2 times in total.
The curtains fell. And the silence was deafening
Clearing the Mind
Avery smiled, watching his friend take in the sights and senses of the Rehearsal Room. It was apparent that Ming had not ventured into its sanctuary before. Indeed, this room was a sight to behold; its glistening chandelier with sparkling silver birds, its domed vaults that reverberated each sound as if they were heavenly mandates, its tall glass windows that poured in the afternoon glow. From what he knew, his friend was not particularly interested in the arts, so this part of the castle must've been foreign to him. A change of scenery, indeed.
Somehow, his friend seemed amused or surprised by something else -- something that must've been beyond the novelty of the Rehearsal Room itself. Did his friend just look at him as if he didn't quite recognize him? Surely, Avery didn't have food on his face? The small boy surreptitiously swiped a knuckle across his lips just to check, but came back with nothing. Avery shrugged away the thought. Perhaps he had misread his friend's expression and body language, and Ming was merely in awe of the sights around him.
"I'm glad you find it nice. Welcome to my second home," he said with a chuckle, spreading his arms slightly like a showman, bow in one hand, violin in the other. "It's a place where you can feel both truly accomplished and sorely crushed within the span of an hour or two," he explained. That was how some evenings were, when a certain piece could go swell when you were feeling it, but then a tricky section or the following piece completely trips you over. This room has seen both tears and joy, for sure, though today it had seen more patient practice and careful re-exploration from Avery after his two-week break.
Ming's response to Avery's question was short and simple. Truly, he could tell that his friend had seen better days, despite his nonchalant response. Over the weeks, it seemed that Ming had gone quieter and quieter, retreating into his own studies instead of joining study groups, or else spending his free time alone, as if he were trying to avoid something. It did seem that he was having either a difficult time adjusting to the new school, or that his muggle coursework had caught up to him. No longer was he interested in going to activities with Avery, like he had gone to the Tomato War during camp, or flying practice with Maggie. And it hurt to see his friend struggle with something that Avery couldn't quite come to terms with. What was really bothering him?
Ming's question diverted Avery's thoughts for a moment. Perhaps it was intentional, because, hadn't Ming seen him carrying a violin case before? He was quite sure that his expensive violin was carried gingerly when moving in, unlike the rest of his luggage, and that he had sometimes gone around carrying this case back and forth from the dorms or meals. Maybe it was just something that he didn't talk about often. It was a part of his identity that he wasn't always happy about, nor was it the first thing he revealed to the world when making new friends.
"Oh, yeah, this." Avery held up his violin with both hands, admiring the delicate instrument. "I've been playing violin since I was five years old, and it was- is- my life outside of schoolwork, mostly." He paused here, thinking briefly about his life prior to Hogwarts; how routine it had been, how scheduled, how planned -- especially under the strict oversight of his parents. And now that he was at boarding school, he could only rely on self-discipline, which honestly waxed and waned in the face of new-found freedom... "I'm taking my exam next Easter, so I've got to get practicing everyday for an hour or more, you know?" he chuckled briefly but half-heartedly, like it was no big deal. Really, it shouldn't be, he told himself. He had passed them annually before and even skipped levels in the past -- will it really be much different now that he was at a magical school?
But what was he doing, rambling on about his troubles? Ming was here for a reason. "So, I know you wanted to chat for a bit, after..." he trailed off a bit, thinking back to the flying practice fiasco. "...You know. Scared everyone, didn't I?" He smiled sheepishly, wondering what kind of punishment was coming for him next. This feeling was all too familiar to what he experienced back at home.
@Hui Ming
Clearing the Mind
@Avery ChenMing does not smile very often. Especially not recently. But every so often, a ghost of a smile linger on the recesses of his face. The slightest upward curve of the corner of his lips, a softening of the eyes. Such was his reaction at seeing Avery wipe his face. Ever the same Avery, this one.
Perhaps Ming was being silly. Perhaps he was overthinking everything. Jumping at shadows, seeing untrue threats, planning contingencies for imagined dangers. But it all seemed so painfully blatant and obvious to him, how real the dangers of pain and injury were. Was he the one that was wrong? Surely, the other years did not have people like him, or they would reach out to the first years? Would have explained why these threats were acceptable, or why they were not threats to begin with?
The bespectacled boy turned his attention back to Avery, his mental portrait of his best friend changing with the flow of the conversation. There was the same boy, happy and carefree, but this interaction was revealing accents to the picture. Shadows and depths that Ming had been careless enough not to notice before. He could see the conflicting emotions in his friend. Pride and humility and resentment and embarrassment, all mixed into that gooey mush of ugly feelings; that he was so familiar with growing up. The ones that his non-magical friends had had. That he himself-
Focus, Ming!
Avery had granted him a moment of relief to engage him in this conversation about music. In doing so, the other boy had given him a glimpse into the boy he really was, proud and hardworking and….vulnerable.
Ming had come here to talk sense into his friend. To warn him of the dangers of the school. But it no longer felt like it was enough. A hollow and superficial warning, about things Avery likely already understood. It was something Ming would have told a classmate, not the person he called his best friend. Avery deserved more from him. So the bespectacled boy changed tacks.
“I….did,” he responded finally, weakly. “But maybe I should not ruin this place with my dull lectures of dangers and recklessness.”
A small pause, eyes looking over the violin as if seeing it for the first time. He had seen it before, of course. But he had thought it was for show, like some of his f- old classmates were wont to do.
“You said you practice every single day?” He asked Avery instead. Ming had not noticed, stuck in his own head and his little bubble of dreams and duties and dangers. But he should have.
And then he added, hesitantly. “Is that a good idea?”
Ming would not have hesitated to tell the Avery he had thought he knew this morning that practicing everyday was wrong, that he should take breaks. To give his mind and body other things, so as to better retain his practices. But this was not the carefree, thoughtless Avery of this morning. This was friend, and someone who took pride in their work. And Ming would give that the respect it deserved.
The curtains fell. And the silence was deafening
Clearing the Mind
Was that... a the briefest hint of a smile playing upon Ming's lips? Avery cocked his head in amusement. It was certainly a rare sight, especially in the past couple of weeks. It seemed that the Ming that he knew on the Hogwarts Express and during the carefree days of summer camp had been mostly erased over the course of the few weeks following the beginning of classes.
“I….did. But maybe I should not ruin this place with my dull lectures of dangers and recklessness.” He caught a moment's hesitation in his friend's eyes, which seemed to cloud the rare, small smile that had somehow appeared seconds before. Dangers and recklessness. The small boy considered these words carefully. Indeed, his best friend did seem more reserved about the new experiences here at Hogwarts than Avery did himself. While Avery was exhilarated by the magical experiences of Hogwarts and a greater chance for freedom compared to his life at home, Ming -- ever diligent, ever reserved -- eyed the nuances of the magical world with more suspicion.
But, before he could consider their differences in more detail, Ming spoke again, responding to Avery's earlier comments about violin practice. Was practicing so much every day a good idea? "Yes, I have to, otherwise I'll lose what I've practiced," he said automatically, without even thinking, but then he paused. Was this answer simply what had been drilled into his mind and habits by his parents and teacher, a mere regurgitation of their words? The gears spun within his mind. But that wasn't what he truly believed, was it? Allegra -- an accomplished pianist herself -- had suggested that he take a short break to reset the way he approached his practice, his passion, and his relationship with the instrument. "I-I don't know," he continued hesitantly, retracting on his earlier, instinctive response. "That's what my parents and teacher tell me to do, so I do it. But honestly, sometimes I want to practice just thirty minutes a day, or only on weekdays, or maybe I want to go for as long as three hours in one day -- when I feel like it -- after a break. I've actually stopped practicing for the past two weeks to take a small, one-time break, and just picked up my violin back up again today. It's going pretty well, actually, and I feel more relaxed when I practice difficult sections." Some color rose to his cheeks, as if he was embarrassed for having admitted this, especially to someone as disciplined as his friend Hui Ming. The admission was so counter to what he had been taught: Soldier through all mental obstacles and moments of weakness; continue practicing before time was up, even when your hands are tired, and especially when you can't land that difficult double-stop again and again. Would his friend think him weak and disobedient? He found it difficult to look at his friend, lest his expression reveal a crushing disappointment.
After some time, his mind wandered back to the issue of dangers and recklessness. "Ming, I know you think it's irresponsible to fly like I did with Maggie that day, and I know I shouldn't have done it because it was against school rules. Thank goodness Cash showed up and Maggie was there to pull me down. But, what's really been on your mind these days? Is it your parents' homework and all the new magical subjects? Something else? I just feel like you're slipping away a little, recently, that's all, like your mind is somewhere else," he said in one long exhale before looking back expectantly at his friend. There, he had asked and said it all -- everything he had been wondering about his best friend over the past couple of weeks.
@Hui Ming
Clearing the Mind
THE WORRIER
"Yes, I have to, otherwise I'll lose what I've practiced."
Ming raised an eyebrow at that, his own expression of disapproval blatant, but unvocalised. Perhaps his best friend saw something on his face. Or perhaps he took a moment to think back on his own words, because he took the words back.
The next response offered by Avery felt a lot more real, the kind that Ming was much more familiar with, both in himself, and among his peers in the world he was being forced to leave behind. Avery offered him a visceral, unbounded kind of vulnerability; one that demonstrated trust more than any time spent together or declarations of friendship ever could.
Ming paused, not entirely certain he wanted to break the fragile silence between them. Not at all confident in his ability to help his friend in any meaningful way. Not sure if anything he said would make things worse for Avery, instead of making it better.
And so, silence lingered between the two Chinese boys. Was it a couple of seconds that they stood there in silence, contemplating the thoughts in their own minds, or was it sunlit days?
It was Avery that finally broke the silence, his words crashing through the uncertainties and thoughts of the bespectacled boy in stereotypical Avery fashion. In was the kind of unthinking, sincere reaction that was expected of Avery Chen, but this time, it filled Ming with frustration and anger.
“Do you really think-” brow furrowed, Hui Ming responded quietly. And if his voice cracked just a little from his anger bleeding out, he did not notice. In fact, he did not notice the closing half of what his best friend had even said, so consumed was he with his anger. “-That that is why I have been advising caution and suspicion? Because of some adult somewhere had written that you musn’t?”
He exhaled then, feeling the control slipping out of his grasp. Ming closed his eyes then, slowly pulling back the reigns of control. It would be extremely counterproductive to lose his temper here and alienate the person that he was trying to protect. Ming needed to be implacable, like a glacier. Unmoved and unaffected by the tumult and chaos around him.
“Surely,” he heard himself say, with a coldness in his voice that was normally not present with his purported best friend in Hogwarts. “You cannot actually believe that the sole reason I kept telling you again, and again and again about the obvious dangers of the school; despite your constant, bullheaded refusal to listen; despite your asinine insistence to jump headfirst into potentially fatal actions; is because it is against godforsaken rules, as written by people who thought giving Schneider a wand might have been a good idea.”
Was he shouting? No, not quite. But it was definitely not the cool and collected that he had been aiming for.
“As if I’d have let you do something that could get you killed even if the adults here thought it was perfectly within the rules. You could have fallen and cracked your skull. And no amount of rules or adults or luck would fix you after that.”
Silence stretched out between them again, deafening after the storm that was his words; broken only by the deep breaths taken by Ming as he struggled to collect himself.
“I had come to say that you need to be more careful. It’s all fun and games until someone loses an eye. Or perhaps, not even then.” And suddenly, Ming could no longer bear to be here, alone with this boy who was so familiar but also so completely foreign.
“And I have. So-”
Action: Ming will attempt to leave the thread unless stopped
@Avery Chen
The curtains fell. And the silence was deafening
Clearing the Mind
Ming remained silent as Avery offloaded his confession about taking a break from violin for a couple of weeks. Even though Avery was initially apprehensive of receiving any sort of judgement from his friend, it never came. Instead, the silence between them was contemplative, giving himself time to think about what he had just admitted out loud. Yes, his mindset and approach to practicing had truly changed a bit since coming to Hogwarts, hadn't it?
As their conversation moved on to the flying incident, his friend's adamant response took him a bit off-guard. “Do you really think-- That that is why I have been advising caution and suspicion? Because of some adult somewhere had written that you musn’t?” Even though his friend tried to contain his current of emotions, Avery felt the cracks in Ming's usually unshaken composure. The words that tumbled out next pummeled him in wave after wave, and all Avery could do was watch in slight befuddlement, fawn eyes widening a bit and lips parting. He could tell that Ming was quite shaken by the actions that could've jeopardized his friend's safety, and that was quite natural and even quite reassuring, wasn't it? Avery was humbled to know he had a friend who truly cared about his well-being, but why was it so hard to hold back on what he wanted to say next instead of simply agreeing on the surface level, like he often did with his parents, just to palliate them?
As the words sank in, Avery's round, childish face was tinged pink with Ming's assertions. Really, was this all such a big deal as Ming made it out to be? Ming, who had one foot still straddled in the muggle world, as if he could return to it unphased after seven years at a wizarding school. Ming, who almost seemed scared of his own wand, which was supposed to help him become the great wizard that Avery knew his friend could be if he just put his heart into it. Was Avery being overly-reckless, or was Ming just being too uptight and closed-minded?
"You're right, it's 'potentially fatal' and I 'could've been killed', but honestly, what are the chances in that? Anything we do has the potential to go wrong, doesn't it? Why do you fly on planes when they could explode and fall out of the sky? Sports in the muggle world are dangerous, too, aren't they? But you're already desensitized because of your familiarity with them," Avery challenged his friend, hoping to open his mind to the small boy's own point of view.
"The fatality of actions are measured not only by the strength of damage that can be done, but also by the effectiveness of remedies that can be used -- you know what I mean? Things that seem dangerous in the muggle world are different here, because the harm they cause can be reversed much more quickly and effectively. It seems to me you're just straddling two boats incongruently!" he blurted. "You're seeing the dangers from a muggle standpoint, without acknowledging their magical protections and remedies, and that's just... unfair," he said, suddenly feeling the urge to relieve a bundle of thoughts off his chest. "You've given up so many opportunities to explore the magical world while locking yourself up with your muggle curriculum, and the less you explore it, the longer it'll take you to get used to it." Avery wished he could share his excitement in exploring the wizarding world with his friend -- there was much they had yet to see and accomplish together -- but he felt that Ming's hesitancy had been standing in their way. The small boy only hoped that his friend would begin to change his mindset, but he also knew his friend could be steadfast in his ways. "I'm just saying it as I see it," he finished plainly, leaving the cards on the table for his friend to see, half-anxious to how he'll respond.
@Hui Ming