Unmatched Really Solo

His astronomy homework was missing. The very last piece of homework he'd finished for the rest of the weekend. The one piece he’d struggled through an hour- long study session with Sage to get a half decent grade on… That assignment had his notes clipped to it! Those notes were supposed to help him keep organized with the next few chapters in his book!

Dear god why couldn't it have been literally any other assignment!?

He blinked against the tears threatening to fall and the sudden horrified onslaught of emotions welling up, heavy and overbearing like he swallowed a boulder. He wanted to cry; it was so unfair. There'd been so much time and effort in that work, not only the stupid Astronomy paper but those notes; they'd been a cheat sheet, the whole lesson put into words he could actually understand in some basic capacity. It wasn't just a day of work, that was a week's worth of notes his friends had helped him put together when he found himself struggling to keep up in the lessons; those couldn't be replaced! There was no way Logan & Sage had time for that, he didn't have time for that & quite frankly he'd feel horrible even asking them for more help after everything they'd already done the past week.

He swallowed past the lump in his throat, breath hitching with that horrible lingering regret and somehow that made him…angry. Upset, annoyed, he scrubbed at his eyes.


The sleeves of his jacket was rough against his face, scratchy and overwhelmingly uncomfortable in that moment but it was enough to make the stab of panic melt into the background in the face of the bitterness brewing in the pit of his stomach.

He breathed slowly. Once. Twice. All in a slow mock of the relaxed state Willow had shown him so long ago when they'd meditated until finally the third breath when the prickle of tears finally faded away and he could breathe. He was not going to cry over this. Astronomy was a stupid thing to waste tears over and Elsian was sure Hogwarts would deliver more worthy trauma inducing things to cry over than homework. Homework didn't deserve his rare freakouts.

The Gryffindor was better than that.

But it still didn't change the fact this whole thing sucked. Why was this happening? Why him? Did the universe have some kind of sick fascination with his suffering?

“I swear if that bird brain tosses it…”

He stacked a book back into place, shuffling the papers back to their respective subjects. All shoved as neatly as papers could be bunched up between a book's pages. One such poorly done stack in his haste sending a few papers down onto the ground and something loud, heavy enough to catch his attention when its corners hit the edge of his shoe. There wasn't anything particular of note about it at first glance, simple looking enough that it was simply swept back onto the table with the rest of the fallen papers but then he would look closer, eyeing it with a raised brow at the little design on the top before flipping it open fully expecting old notes he'd lost or a planner only to be met with the scrawl of unfamiliar writing-


This belongs to Samantha Salwis, second-year Ravenclaw. If you have found this book please return it to me, because I am the rightful -

He slammed it shut.






Well… Seems he had feather heads name!

Okay-

Okay, okay, okay-!

On one hand this was a horrible idea. He shouldn't do this, it was a horrible invasion of privacy! He already had a name, knew who this book belonged to, there was no reason to open it again. No reason at all. In fact he should have put it away, deep, at the bottom of his bag until he found Salwis; yeah, that made sense. Out of sight, out of mind and all that jazz. Then find her tomorrow and return it, simple.

Simple.

He stared at the water damaged book, picking it up between cold fingers and quickly shoved it to the very bottom of his bag. Another book was pushed on top of it, as if it could hide it from his dumb mind poking at him to just open it already just 1 peek- but no; it was followed by a folder as he ignored twitching fingers and the overwhelming curiosity nipping at him. It wasn't his business. It wasn't his business.

Grabbing his potion book he slammed it open to a random page and began reading, anything to distract him from his traitorous brain, even the dull memorization of ingredients would do. Then again, that was the problem with busy work, it hardly did more than serve to remind you of all the better, less mind numbing things you could be doing instead; like reading a diary. That was Elsians mistake. The Gryffindor didn't manage to make it 7 minutes in before his eyes were wondering back to his bag, thoughts, horrible ugly thoughts, running wild at the possibilities of that stupid little blue diary.

He should feel guilty but-

What if she tried blackmailing him?



Unlikely. A stupid thought but…was it really?

Sure, he had her wand, but she also had his. Even with her wand could he really be certain she wouldn't burn those notes? Maybe throw his homework into a fountain? Elsian couldn't be sure, that was the problem. But he could be ready.

And that thought soothed him. Made the anxiety and stress loosen and the angry bitterness in his chest before something bearable; he couldn't be sure when between that thought and the next he'd reached over and dragged that diary from his bag. He could be certain however of the flash of guilt he felt flipping the cover open to that first page. It was too small though, insignificant in the face of such curiosity and resentment to sway him from his actions, the idea of being outdone by that annoying, pigheaded Ravenclaw too much.

This belongs to Samantha Salwis, second-year Ravenclaw. If you have found this book please return it to me, because I am the rightful owner, and don't read another word, this is private, so stop reading right now! Thank you very much, have a nice day.

Elsi could practically hear the drawl of her voice in the writing. Insufferable.

My oma gave me this book, she said I could write my worries in here. I mean I am a perfectly normal child. Except that I am a witch who has to lie about who she is to her family. I am cursed by shadow spiders and afraid to sleep in the dark…..


Huh. That was, well, unexpected. He remembered that attack, remembered all the bad things that happened and been a danger over the years, who didn't? But he'd always been careful and lucky to mostly avoid all those horrid events. It was different somehow hearing about a person actually experiencing it.

The rest was…boring. Summer, baking, Aladdin…? He didn't particularly care enough to do more than skim past these pages, huffing in annoyance when it changed into a language he couldn't read. Pages and pages to be skipped. Finally, English again! He'd almost flipped right past it though it soon became apparent he might as well have, all she talked about was her owl and a boy that licked the window? Weird but meh all the same. Just reading her worry and fret was making him tired.

“She's a worrywart even in her writing…”

More classes, friends; boring, boring, boring.

Then Cash. He didn't think he knew Cash but from the way this was written it seemed like Featherhead kinda had this person's wrath coming. Elsi knew first hand how rude and entitled the girl was after all, apparently Elsian wasn't the only one who thought the Ravenclaw was infuriating though! He should have felt more smug about that but somehow it didn't feel right. It nagged at him the more he read.

Turning another page he kept going until- there was this scary huge bloodthirsty killer spider. There was a flash of anger, violent and painful as he realized she was talking about Kitty. About him. It was upsetting to relive it, to think about the fight, about how she'd almost hurt Kitty and yet that anger was quick to burn out and fizzle into a ghost of what it was. He'd been angry, bitter & rightfully so to a point! But how was he supposed to hold onto that when it seemed so pitiful on paper? When she'd already been ashamed?


He closed the book. What was he doing?

“I shouldn't- this is wrong.” He warbled, swallowing hard against the guilt and pity.


He felt sick.