24 Jan 2022, 21:24
Preoccupied
Flash was struggling, but what was new. What was new was that one of his friend, Adlai Rod, seemed to be struggling too. He had been happy to notice that she had chosen Ancient Runes as an elective, as he had enjoyed being her partner on projects in Astronomy during first year. The two of them got along well, but beyond that, Adlai was a bright shining beacon of joy and positivity. It seemed that no matter what was ailing him, she could infect a smile onto his face. Given the introduction to the class, which included mention of the severity of mistakes, he was eager to have someone around who would keep him alert.Dated: November 12th, 2021
On one particular day, however, the bright light was missing. Not Adlai herself, but her usual smile. Everyone had their bad days, her included, but it was clear almost instantaneously that something had changed. No matter how overworked or tired he got, he was still a perceptive youth. Not that he needed to be particularly perceptive this time around, she was practically sagging into the spot she sat in. Whatever it was, it was serious. It scared him to see even the brightest stars in his life flicker and fade, he resolved right away to find a way to reignite it.
After the class ended, Flash would softly put a hand on her shoulder to grab her attention. After dancing together last year, he figured this would not be overstepping her boundaries.
"Adlai, wait. Could you spare a moment?" Granted that she agreed, he would continue. "Something is wrong, isn't it? What's going on?"
He did not need to skirt around the issue or find a way to pry it from her, Adlai had always been honest and open with him, she had never required that he meet her standards to do so.
@Adlai Rod
Last edited by Flash Holmwood on 24 Jan 2022, 23:20, edited 1 time in total.
For we dreamed a lot//And we schemed a lot//And we tried to sing of love before the stage fell apart
Sta: 9 ★Eva: 5 ★Str: 7 ★Wis: 15 ★AP: 3 ★Acc: 15
24 Jan 2022, 22:25
Preoccupied
Back Date: November 12th, 2021@Flash HolmwoodEverything was fine, everything was ok. She had her life under control. No, she was not struggling. No, she was not sad. No, she was not angry. She was as happy and calm as she was normally was, she had to be, her life was great! - That's what she kept telling herself as her hand shook from unboundable anxiety. She couldn't keep it together. After she had fought with her sister, Dorothy disappeared. She didn't even come to pick up Dafina anymore, so Adlai was her soul caretaker for the time being.
Adlai was wracked with worry. She wanted it to stop, no matter how many times she drank water, ate healthy food, gave into cravings, and did breathing exercises nothing seemed to work. She hadn't felt this awful in a long time. Looking up she noticed her classmates packing up and starting to file out of the room, not wanting to spill the ink from her inkwell she moved slowly. Once she had it secure in her bag she turned to grab her notes to pack them away but felt a hand on her shoulder.
Looking up and around she was met with a familiar face, Flash Holmwood. He didn't even open the conversation with any pleasantries, he simply got right to the point. "Something is wrong, isn't it?What's going on?" She stared at him, her eyes glossed over. How was she supposed to react? Was it that obvious that she was miserable? She hoped it wasn't. Thus, she said one of the most koi things ever, "What do you mean?"
Adlai Winifred Rod
25 Jan 2022, 17:14
Preoccupied
The way she moved so sluggishly, and the deer in the headlights look she gave him, Flash would need to keep himself from laughing when she asked him what he meant. It took him a moment to register that she was actually serious, and was trying to pretend. Not only was she not very good at it, but it almost hurt that she felt like she had to. He couldn't say he had been the most open and vulnerable friend to her himself, but he at least felt he exuded a trustworthy presence. Rather than take it personally though, he admitted that some things were just hard to talk about no matter what.
"You look depressed." Flash said bluntly, moving his chair so he could sit facing her. He doubted that the professor would like the two of them sticking around for too long, but there was always a period of time where students talked and milled about before leaving. "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to... but I've found that getting it off your chest can be a relief."
Flash's brow furrowed for a moment, then brightened, "Like you did for me, when I was stressing out last year."
"You look depressed." Flash said bluntly, moving his chair so he could sit facing her. He doubted that the professor would like the two of them sticking around for too long, but there was always a period of time where students talked and milled about before leaving. "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to... but I've found that getting it off your chest can be a relief."
Flash's brow furrowed for a moment, then brightened, "Like you did for me, when I was stressing out last year."
@Adlai Rod
For we dreamed a lot//And we schemed a lot//And we tried to sing of love before the stage fell apart
Sta: 9 ★Eva: 5 ★Str: 7 ★Wis: 15 ★AP: 3 ★Acc: 15
25 Jan 2022, 21:43
Preoccupied
Back Date: November 12th, 2021@Flash HolmwoodDepressed, he had said. Depressed! All of the life that was left in her body evaporated at the word, out of all the people in the world how could happy-go-lucky Adlai Rod be depressed? What was she going to do, if it was that obvious who would want to hang around her, people wanted to be her friend and talk to her because she was notorious for not having any issues, right? How could she let this happen, she should have just stayed in her bed which she had to rip herself from the past few mornings. She felt a cold sweat break out on her neck and run down her back as Flash moved his chair around to face her. What is the point? - she thought.
There was no running from it now, he was taking the bull by the horns and something must have been lacing his voice when he said "Like you did for me, when I was stressing out last year." Stressing out... there was no way he was only stressing out when Adlai thought about it now, in fact she now realized he was probably hanging by a thread. She felt so foolish. "It's nothing bad, everything feels like the end of the world when you're a teenager."
What was she supposed to say? 'Hey Flash old' buddy old' pal, I just had the biggest argument known to man with my little sister where she called me overbearing and a nuisance and now I'm a complete wreck!' What would he even say to that? She thought as she began to bounce her knee under the desk, a nervous habit she had developed while sitting.
Adlai Winifred Rod
29 Jan 2022, 17:41
Preoccupied
Flash's mild amusement would turn into impatient concern. Of course everyone had things happen that made them appear off, for instance something bad happening at home, or a terrible grade on a test you thought you were prepared for. If it had been something so easily explained, she certainly would have said so by now. She instead was not giving anything away, acting nervously like she had been cornered. Even when he gave her the option to say it was too personal, just as he did when he told her about his eye, she instead only diminished her problem further by excusing it as teenage dramatics.
Flash's face would be dead serious. The classroom was thinning somewhat, meaning the room would become quieter as time went on, until they would inevitably be shooed out by Professor Lydursdattir, which was not ideal. They had other classes after this though, and he was too curious a person to let it slide without being specifically told to stop asking.
"If it's nothing bad, why don't you tell me about it?" It was a question, but delivered in a serious tone that could be mistaken for a command. "Whatever it is, it's bothering you, and that's what I care about."
They still had time. Even if she didn't end up telling him anything, he wanted her to know that her feelings mattered to him.
Flash's face would be dead serious. The classroom was thinning somewhat, meaning the room would become quieter as time went on, until they would inevitably be shooed out by Professor Lydursdattir, which was not ideal. They had other classes after this though, and he was too curious a person to let it slide without being specifically told to stop asking.
"If it's nothing bad, why don't you tell me about it?" It was a question, but delivered in a serious tone that could be mistaken for a command. "Whatever it is, it's bothering you, and that's what I care about."
They still had time. Even if she didn't end up telling him anything, he wanted her to know that her feelings mattered to him.
@Adlai Rod
For we dreamed a lot//And we schemed a lot//And we tried to sing of love before the stage fell apart
Sta: 9 ★Eva: 5 ★Str: 7 ★Wis: 15 ★AP: 3 ★Acc: 15
29 Jan 2022, 17:59
Preoccupied
Back Date: November 12th, 2021@Flash Holmwood"It's really not bad, it's just overwhelming." She explained as she pressed her eyes with the bottom of her wrists, her elbows digging into the desk below her. It wouldn't hurt to tell him, he had talk her lots of things about himself before. On top of that he already new worse things about her, like how she is a parselmouth.
Taking a deep breathe she covered her face with her hands and let out a groan. "If I tell you, you can't laugh." She said. After a few short moments of waiting for a response she began to spin her tale of woe. "My younger sister started attending school at Hogwarts this year. I had hoped that she would get sorted into Hufflepuff like me but she got sorted into house Ravenclaw which made me nervous. I promised our mom I'd look after her since this is all new to her since we come from a muggle family. Long story short I was too controlling and we had an argument. We both said things we probably regret and I haven't seen her since."
"It's really messed with me." She added before looking up at Flash. "So, that's whats wrong. I know siblings fight all the time but we've never argued like that before."
Adlai Winifred Rod
7 Feb 2022, 14:03
Preoccupied
As she continued to play it down, her body language continued to tell another story. Flash was patient, even if his patience had diminished as his sleep continued to suffer. It was one thing to be patient when someone was being rude or careless, and another when it was a persona he cared about who needed some time to get their thoughts in order. Eventually, she relented to saying she would tell him, which gave him a small relief.
"I won't laugh." He promised, confident that he could keep it.
He was surprised to hear what it was, not having known until then that her sister had joined the school. Far from being something he might laugh at, it instead quieted him. He had many brothers and one sister, all of whom would not be attending school at the same time. That was, Fabius would attend during his final year, if he showed any sign of magic. He hardly knew what it would have been like if his family had been with him at Hogwarts, but he didn't like the thought, it felt wrong somehow. School had always been an escape from his family.
Unlike him, Adlai seemed to have an opposite problem, one of caring too much. She was succinct, not saying much detail, but more so how it had hurt her. For as changed as she was, it was clear that this mattered a lot to her, but Flash simply could not relate. If his little brother was in school, he would have been glad to keep his distance. He'd still nod, slightly despondent.
"I suppose they do... I don't argue much with my siblings, but we don't exactly get along either." Flash shook his head, realizing that wasn't helpful. "You must care a lot about her, it wouldn't hurt you so much if you didn't. I'm sure she cares about you too, no matter how controlling you were. You were only trying to do as your mother said, right? Or maybe you were worried she would get hurt. There's nothing shameful about loving your family, or being sad when it isn't reciprocated."
"I won't laugh." He promised, confident that he could keep it.
He was surprised to hear what it was, not having known until then that her sister had joined the school. Far from being something he might laugh at, it instead quieted him. He had many brothers and one sister, all of whom would not be attending school at the same time. That was, Fabius would attend during his final year, if he showed any sign of magic. He hardly knew what it would have been like if his family had been with him at Hogwarts, but he didn't like the thought, it felt wrong somehow. School had always been an escape from his family.
Unlike him, Adlai seemed to have an opposite problem, one of caring too much. She was succinct, not saying much detail, but more so how it had hurt her. For as changed as she was, it was clear that this mattered a lot to her, but Flash simply could not relate. If his little brother was in school, he would have been glad to keep his distance. He'd still nod, slightly despondent.
"I suppose they do... I don't argue much with my siblings, but we don't exactly get along either." Flash shook his head, realizing that wasn't helpful. "You must care a lot about her, it wouldn't hurt you so much if you didn't. I'm sure she cares about you too, no matter how controlling you were. You were only trying to do as your mother said, right? Or maybe you were worried she would get hurt. There's nothing shameful about loving your family, or being sad when it isn't reciprocated."
@Adlai Rod
For we dreamed a lot//And we schemed a lot//And we tried to sing of love before the stage fell apart
Sta: 9 ★Eva: 5 ★Str: 7 ★Wis: 15 ★AP: 3 ★Acc: 15
15 Feb 2022, 23:10
Preoccupied
Back Date: November 12th, 2021@Flash Holmwood"I do care about her a lot." She said as she laid her head down on the desk and looked at the wall across her way. "I think that's it though, I care too much and in the end she pushed me away." She thought about the words that Dorothy had spat at her in a fit of annoyance and anger.
"I didn't just do it because it was what our mother wanted either though, when I came here I was so lost. I didn't know up from down or left from right and I didn't know how to ask anyone for help. So I stayed silently confused for weeks... I still am confused." She trailed off.
"I missed my family, I missed my friends and my home. Eventually I ended up hiding myself away in my dorm room trying to wrap my head about magical terms that most people here grew up knowing the definitions of."
"I didn't want that for Dorothy, for her to be as lost and alone as I felt but, she's different from me. She's not afraid to ask questions or tell people what she wants. I don't know why I didn't see that she didn't need my help sooner."
Adlai Winifred Rod
16 Feb 2022, 00:01
Preoccupied
Flash was not exactly thrilled to be talking about family, but it put him at ease to see that Adlai was finally letting the burden off of her shoulders. It wasn't only the fight with her sister though, but the entirety of her career as a student at Hogwarts. It would make Flash cringe, though not at her behest, but rather that she needed someone and he had not been there for her. Naturally, he knew he could not be there for everyone, let alone the fact that most of the time he was stuck in his own wheels of misery and trouble, but the idealist in him wished he could protect his friends from every ounce of pain they felt. Then again, back during first year, he had needed to prove he was trustworthy to her in the midst of the rumors surrounding his fallout with Willow. He would have to admit there was nothing he could have done.
Instead, he'd nod empathetically, feeling the distraught in her words and the hopelessness she felt, the lack of validation her concern had brought her. He could understand why it vexed her so. "It will be alright. You should be telling her this. Maybe you should write her a letter. Even if she doesn't read it, it might feel good to put your feelings down on paper."
"For what it's worth, I think it's honorable to want to help her, even if she does not need it. I think you were trying to be a good sister, trying to be someone you wished was there for you. I think you should keep trying to help her, just maybe... dialed back a bit." Flash paused for a moment, the class starting to empty, and their excuse for sticking around dwindling. He had an impulse that was common with some, but not yet entirely broached with her. He figured there was no harm in asking, "Would you like a hug?"
Instead, he'd nod empathetically, feeling the distraught in her words and the hopelessness she felt, the lack of validation her concern had brought her. He could understand why it vexed her so. "It will be alright. You should be telling her this. Maybe you should write her a letter. Even if she doesn't read it, it might feel good to put your feelings down on paper."
"For what it's worth, I think it's honorable to want to help her, even if she does not need it. I think you were trying to be a good sister, trying to be someone you wished was there for you. I think you should keep trying to help her, just maybe... dialed back a bit." Flash paused for a moment, the class starting to empty, and their excuse for sticking around dwindling. He had an impulse that was common with some, but not yet entirely broached with her. He figured there was no harm in asking, "Would you like a hug?"
@Adlai Rod
For we dreamed a lot//And we schemed a lot//And we tried to sing of love before the stage fell apart
Sta: 9 ★Eva: 5 ★Str: 7 ★Wis: 15 ★AP: 3 ★Acc: 15
16 Feb 2022, 02:53
Preoccupied
Back Date: November 12th, 2021@Flash HolmwoodLifting her head off the desk Adlai looked at Flash as the corners of her eyes burned with salty tears waiting to escape. She felt she was being dramatic, after all there were people who had bigger problems to cry about. "Yes, please." She squeaked out in response to Flashes question. How long had it been since she hugged someone? Typically she was a very physical person however, it seemed in recent months she had fallen out of that habit.
"I'll try the letter. I think you're right about it, how it could help me get my feelings out even if she doesn't read it." She started. "I'm not sure how I'll dial back the help bit though, I tend to not realize when I become... well, overbearing."
"Thank you though, for listening. It really helped. I hope I haven't held you back from anything though I know some people's next classes are on the other side of campus and I wouldn't want to make you late!" She went to ramble and explain. She was glad she was able to talk to someone about how she was feeling, especially that it was Flash, someone she considered a good friend.
Adlai Winifred Rod