She's Still With Us solo

August 10th, 2021
Time: 11:30 pm
Mentioning: @Rose Moon
Warning: mentions of death, graveyard, anxiety, and running away

Henry laid in his bed unable to fall asleep. Every time he attempted to close his eyes visions of his mum and past memories fill his head. Visions that the lad usual attempts to push away, block from his foucs but laying there. In the bottom bunk. A eerie but soothing quietness surrounding him, the teen couldn't and was forced to watched memories play on that he wish to forget.

Throwing his pillow over his head, holding it there as he shut his eyes tightly. Trying to fall asleep. Drift off toward a blissful slumber filled with dreams or most likely nightmares. Seconds past, turning to minutes which turned to hours and soon moments. Henry still awake counting the ticks of the clock as he felt the lack of sleep upon him. Throwing the pillow to the side, the teen gave up with sleeping as he crept from his bed careful not to move his orange feline; Loki or wake his sister as tip toed across the room.

Sliding on a pair of scuffed trainers, choosing not change out of his blue pajama shirt and pants. The lad slowly opened the door, slipping out then leaving it ajar a crack. Carefully, he walked down thr stairs feeling each step before he stepped to make sure there wasn't a creak. The lad looked srpund the darkness of the first floor, he was alone. The quiet and darkness felt peaceful to the boy but also brought on strong emotions and memories as he tip toed toward the door. Opening it slowly then sneaking out, closing it behind him.

Looking around into the night, Henry thought about where to go or what do. He could visit a friend at the hour of night or disappear to the fort for a few hours. Or... the teen remembered a place in the center of town. Filled with rows of memories. Rumored to be haunted, crawling with ghosts. Next to the small crunch. The one place that Henry hadn't been since returning back to godric hollow. A place he haven't seen in years.

Walkimg through the town, Henry held his arms over his chest. A shiver ran down his spine but not from the cold. The teen continued on, mauling over if he should turn back or not. Henry wasn't sure if this was a good idea or if he would soon come to regret thay night.

Nearing the graveyard, Henry stood ay the gates. Unmoving. The teen wanted to turn back. To run. But his legs kept him therez frozen and refusing to move. As he stared upon the gate and the dozes of headstones behind it. Henry felt anxiety and dread mix, circling upon him creating a storm. Henry took a breath, using all the bravery he could compose and brought a single step forward. Closer to the graveyard. It was small but a start. It was all he needed as he slowly stepped toward the gravyard.

The night turning, stars upon shining brighter as streetlights went out for the summer night. Henry felt loke falling, retreating when he entered the graveyard. Eyes darting in all directions as he felr uncomfortable. A sense of panic fill him.the teen felt it fill his body and escalate his mind as he started down the rows of the graveyard. One by one. Looking for one name. Ivy Knight.

Illidan... no...

Isaac... no Isiah.... Ivan... no... where are you...

Henry paced down each row, eyes gleaming for his mother's headstone. Feet moving fast almost like they wanted to flee that place as his eyes scanned over each name... none said the name he is longing for the most.

Knighton... Kara... Kong... Kilian... Kristen... no... no... no...

Liam.... Eddy.... Night... Hope... no... no... where... where.. where is it...

It has to be here right... it has to.... or? What if... what if... wait-

His feet came to a sudden halt. The teen looked down. The name.

Ivy Lilura Knight

The cracks in the stone, no flowers at the base. Henry wanted to cry. His mother laid forgotten there. No visitors or flowers. Alone. Quiet. Forever.

The teen believed this was this doing. If he only ran. If he didn't beg to go stargazing that night. If he stayed quiet. Then maybe she would still be alive and his twin sister wouldn't have ran away. If it wasn't for him then everything would be fine... would be normal.

Henry fell to his knees. Eyes staring up his mum's name. The teen felt his chest tighten,
heart pound as hus head throbbed. Feeling sick- dizzy the lad took a breath as he reached a shaky hand out toward the gravestone. Feeling the side, the cracks that hus fingertips slipped into, the rough edges. Moving his hand toward the base, the lettering touched his fingers and Henry choked back tears as he traced his mother's name with his fingers. The feeling sending a sensation down his spine.

The teen dropped his hand, feeling the dirt and grass underneath them as he looked at the headstone. Uncertain what he should do next. Should he talk to his mother? The teen heard about some talking to their dead relatives, however a part of Henry knew that she wouldn't hear him or respond. He knew where she was. What she became. So talking sounded like a waste.

But also strangely comforting to speak your mind. Let your emotions out instead of leaving them bottled within. The teen haven't done that before, minus the time during the blossom ball last year. Casting a gaze around the area. He is alone. Darkness surrounded him and no one else seemed to be there.

Head turning, eyes focused on his mother's headstone as he looked. Unsure what to say. The teen sniffed a little, clearing his throat for a moment as he thought over his words. What is on the thirteen year old's mind?

"Hey, mum."

Two words. The teen wasn't expecting a response but was mauling over what to say as the tiniest sounds in the background put him on edge. Henry didn't realize how parodied he became at night after the attack all those years ago.

"Hey, Mum. It's been a while, are you really down there or I don't know sometimes I can feel you here.... bloody mental I know..."

The teen felt ridiculous. Speaking to the silence. Not sure what he was saying or what would happen if someone saw. Would they think that the lad is insane? Probably. But, Henry didn't leave he ser his blue gaze on the headstone and took a breath continuing to speak in his soft voice.

"I miss you, more than anything and wish that you could be here- uh it's Henry. Your youngest son. The one who caused your death...

Henry felt his heart wretched. The teen believed that it is fault. His fault that his mum is dead and his fault that he's a werewolf. The teen wished he was normal. Wished that he could be like everyone. Wished that he wasn't a failure... that he didn't let others down or coward away in the face of danger. He wished to be differnt. Eyes upon the headstone, tears didn't swell in his eyes but his emotions ran strong.

"I'm sorry. I'm s...sorry. I shouldn't have asked to go stargazing that night, I should have ran, I should have stayed quiet, I should have been better. I'm s... sorry. I should have visited you. I should have brought flowers. I should have been better. I'm s..sorry. I'm sorry you had me as a son."

The teen pulled at the grass as he dropped his head, emotions swirled around with his anxiety. Not thinking straight as he spewed out words. Words that he would think but never dare say, until that night as he spoke"you would be disappointed in me, you would ashamed of me even. I'm not special or different, I'm awlful at quidditch, I get knocked unconscious in duels and my spells backfire on me. I'm not going to be prefect like Arthur and father was because I get detentions." the teen tugged at the grass strands as the emotions bubbled within him, on his fears coming to life from his mind and to his mouth as he spoke"I couldn't even get into Ravenclaw. I don't think I deserve to be there anyway, having straight O's doesn't mean anything. I'm a slytherin and I haven't figured out why, I'm not ambitious or cunning but I am a outcast and use to others judging so."

The teen held his knees to his chest, eyes on the headstone as he blinked back tears. Not daring to cry as he spoke"I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I'm not like Arthur or you or father. I'm sorry that I am not perfect. I'm sorry that I'm a failure." Henry buried his head in his knees not expecting anyone to be there, emotions and anxiety fueling him as he didn't want to leave. He sat there. He couldn't move.

Minutes past. The darkness growing. Henry sat alone in the graveyard, head hiding in his kness as he sat in front of his mother's headstone. Not expecting anyone to come nor notice that he is there.

Which is why Henry flinched at the phycial contact. Someone held his shoulder. Henry looled up, no tears still as he looked to his side and saw his father sitting besides him with his hand on his shoulder. The teen couldn't speak, a lost for words and his anxiety keeping him from talking as he watched his flower place a single blue rose at the base of the headstone.

Lookimg at the petals, Henry smiled a little as he remembered how his mother use to lecture them about the meaning of different color flowers. Blue roses meant the impossible.

Henry took a breath. A sudden feeling growing within him. He wanted to speak but couldn't. When he heard his father's voice say"I miss her to. Not a moment goes by that I don't think about her." Henry mauled over his father's words for a moment, they sounded sincere but then he remembered. Pearl. Turning his eyes toward the blue rose, Henry didn't move a muscle as be spoke"then why did you marry Pearl?" Luke looked over at his son, Henry stared at rhe blue rose refusing to make eye contact with the man.

"Your mother was my best friend and that night I felt lost, my world shattered and I took it out on you, Anna, ans Arthur. I wasn't there and avoided the grief, " Luke spoke and Henry listened to the words, the teen heard this speech of changing before but didn't interrupt or say anything as his father continued"I should have faved the grief, been there for the three of you but I wasn't and now. Now that I have, i know she wouldn't want us to mourn her but instead start a new adventure." Henry kept his eyes on the rose, he didn't believe his father's words. Anxiety and emotions held high as he frlt his mouth open and words spew out as he spoke"your jusr saying that so I'll move on, accept Pearl and forget about mum and the past."

Henry felt his father squeeze his shoilder tighter as he pulled at the grass as he heard his father's voice say"you shouldn't forget her but instead honor her and I want to do that by being your father and Arthur's and Anna's," the teen felt his heart beat a little as his eyes drifted from the rose to his father who spoke"you are so much like your mother, you both have that headstrong loyalty and stubbornness that once you have your heart set on something, nothing can change it." Henry smiled toward his father and felt himself inching closer, leaning aginest thr man which felt awkward but he still did it.

"You might not see it but you are perfect and I love you, Henry. I know she would have to," Luke spoke wrapping his arm around Henry who turned his eyes back toward the rose not believing his father's words but enjoying this moment. The darkness. Silence. The two of them.

"It's really late so what if we head back home, I'll make you hot chocolate, " Luke spole and to the last few words Henry looled at his father and smiled a little as he spoke"who are you and what have you done with my father who never made me a hot chocolate before," Luke lightly ruffled his son's hair and the two sat there for a bit longer before Luke got to his feet. Looking over at Henry who got to his feet, one final glance at rhe headstone as he spoke"Bye mum, I'll visit again. Promise."

The father and son duo then walked through the graveyard, town and back to their home. Together. Hand in hand.