7 Sep 2021, 07:54
In Pursuit of Peace
Private to Howard White and Jake Morris
Evening, 7th of August
Thread follows from The Search For Answers.
The past twenty-four hours had been rather emotional. Serena was not directly involved in anything at first. However, after seeing how scared Jake got around Howard whenever they were in the cabin, she ended up asking the wrong questions. Or perhaps the right ones. Either way, she was definitely involved in the whole mess now and a part of her wondered if that was the right thing for her to do or not. She had no answer to that question. Perhaps it was best if she left the pair to sort out their own issues. But it was far too late for that. If she wanted that, she should not have gotten involved in the first place.
The truth was that she was not one hundred per cent sure what she should do. She felt like this was the best solution for everyone involved but she had no real way of knowing if that was true. Right now, all she had was a bit of hope and a ton of trust that she was putting in a boy that she was not entirely sure she knew. She thought she knew him, she thought they were friends but with the new information that had come to light... perhaps she did not know him nearly as well as she thought. But she had seen the tears on his face and it broke her heart. He looked so... distraught. And she had seen the fear in Jake's eyes. If they could avoid each other, perhaps everything would work out on its own or just be unnecessary. But they had at least three weeks of staying in a very small cabin and in September, Serena was partially worried about what would happen in the boy's dorms if this was not addressed. They shared dorms for the whole year... And there was nothing she could do to help Jake in there.
She did not know if this was the smartest move. But this was not for her, in any case. This was for the pair of them. By the end of this, Jake would hopefully not feel terrified every time he saw Howard and Howard would not feel so guilty for the things he did. All she did was agree to mediate. She was mostly only here to make sure Jake knew he was not alone and that he did not need to be scared. If he wanted to hold her hand, he could. If he needed her to punch Howard in the face, she totally would. (Not that it would hurt a lot but that is not the point here!).
"It will be okay, Jake. I promise. I know it's scary but I promise he's a nice guy..." Was that really a promise she could make him? Probably not but she had made it anyway. She trusted him - whether or not that was a smart idea was not something she could answer right now - and she truly believed that he was, "And I'm here, okay? I promised I'll be here as long as you need me," She said to Jake, leaning on the tree near him.
She had left Howard a note, asking him to meet them by the same location that she had seen him yesterday. There were a few trees scattered around but the space was still relatively open, so it should not feel too private. Despite that, there were not many people around as everyone was likely wandering off to get food right about now. Hopefully, they could eat soon. Because she was hungry. It had taken a little while but she managed to convince Jake to just come with her and hear him out. She told him that if he did not like what Howard had to say, he could leave at any point. But she practically begged him to just listen, trying to convince him that Howard was sorry and that he really was a nice guy and it was a mistake and everything else she needed to just to get him to agree to come with her. She even had Pizza Rat with her, who was lurking in her pocket. He was basically a comfort animal, if Jake needed one, right?
Now she just had to hope that Howard actually showed up...
OOC: All mentions of Jake have been approved by him.
PC: Serena Towers | iNPC: Arjan Oberoi | Other: Hjørdis Jensen & Xiomara Torres
Part-Goblin | Evasive Maneuvers | Beastmaster | Paragon of Health
Sta: 10 | Eva: 17 | Str: 3 | Wis: 15 | Arc Power: 10 | Acc: 15
Part-Goblin | Evasive Maneuvers | Beastmaster | Paragon of Health
Sta: 10 | Eva: 17 | Str: 3 | Wis: 15 | Arc Power: 10 | Acc: 15
25 Sep 2021, 06:35
In Pursuit of Peace
@Serena Towers @Howard White
It had taken a lot of convincing to get Jake under the tree by the clearing. A lot of 'Do I have to's' gone ungranted. It had been hard enough to make Jake talk about the subject at all. Most of the time when Serena tried to ask him, Jake had tried to get away as soon as possible before she could find out. He still remembered what had once happened, a long time ago, when Santario had found out what Kyle had done to him. What Howard and Aurelia had promised had been much worse....
It said a lot of the trust and fondness that Jake had for the older girl that he was even here at all. Serena was one of his oldest dorm-mates. She had always been kind to him since the first time they'd ever met and saying no to her was hard...Jake looked up to the older Hufflepuffs. He trusted her a lot. And when she pleaded with him, she had worn him down in the end.
"Okay...." Jake mumbled, feet shuffling in the grass. "But only 'cause you promised."
On the way there, Jake had had much to say and ask about what was about to happen. But as the fateful meeting got closer, Jake's nervous questions had settled down into a frightened quiet. The quiet had turned to an almost frustrated restlessness, because the fear inside him had nowhere to go. The young Hufflepuff kicked a pebble lightly, rolling it along the grass, then squatted down to watch it, poking at the grass with a stick.
But as the boy occupied himself idly, feeling queasy with nervous energy, he could think of nothing else but what was gonna happen next. Serena promised she wasn't gonna go anywhere...she promised it'd be ok...but could he even believe her? 'cause she said that Howard was a nice guy...that it was a mistake...but that wasn't what Jake had seen...
A tremble traveled through the small boy's body as he remembered the feel of Howard's sharp finger upon his cheek. The boy's hand raised to touch the skin absentmindedly where Howard had touched him that day. He had known what that touch had meant...Howard could hurt him. Jack Burnett had once told him that bullies needed sympathy more than anybody else. It had made some sense at the time...but when he remembered what he saw that day, and what Howard had said to him, it was hard to remember anything like that. All he could remember was the look in his eyes.
Jake shook his head. The more they waited, the more Jake couldn't remember why he had ever said yes. He felt locked in...like when the bars closed down on you at a scary ride you never wanted to go on in the first place. What if Howard thought that Jake had told on him, just like he was never supposed to do? What if he looked at Jake again with those eyes? Jake had been petrified then by Aurelia's spell...but even if he hadn't been he wouldn't have been able to move. There were a billion reasons why this was a bad idea. He poked around more with the stick, waiting, waiting, waiting.
"Maybe he's not coming..." Jake mumbled finally. "Can we go back to the cabin now?" he asked, grabbing Serena's hand and looking up at her pleadingly. He was scared he was going to cry. But so what if he did....? He didn't care if he cried because he wanted to go back...This wasn't a good idea. It just wasn't.
It had taken a lot of convincing to get Jake under the tree by the clearing. A lot of 'Do I have to's' gone ungranted. It had been hard enough to make Jake talk about the subject at all. Most of the time when Serena tried to ask him, Jake had tried to get away as soon as possible before she could find out. He still remembered what had once happened, a long time ago, when Santario had found out what Kyle had done to him. What Howard and Aurelia had promised had been much worse....
It said a lot of the trust and fondness that Jake had for the older girl that he was even here at all. Serena was one of his oldest dorm-mates. She had always been kind to him since the first time they'd ever met and saying no to her was hard...Jake looked up to the older Hufflepuffs. He trusted her a lot. And when she pleaded with him, she had worn him down in the end.
"Okay...." Jake mumbled, feet shuffling in the grass. "But only 'cause you promised."
On the way there, Jake had had much to say and ask about what was about to happen. But as the fateful meeting got closer, Jake's nervous questions had settled down into a frightened quiet. The quiet had turned to an almost frustrated restlessness, because the fear inside him had nowhere to go. The young Hufflepuff kicked a pebble lightly, rolling it along the grass, then squatted down to watch it, poking at the grass with a stick.
But as the boy occupied himself idly, feeling queasy with nervous energy, he could think of nothing else but what was gonna happen next. Serena promised she wasn't gonna go anywhere...she promised it'd be ok...but could he even believe her? 'cause she said that Howard was a nice guy...that it was a mistake...but that wasn't what Jake had seen...
A tremble traveled through the small boy's body as he remembered the feel of Howard's sharp finger upon his cheek. The boy's hand raised to touch the skin absentmindedly where Howard had touched him that day. He had known what that touch had meant...Howard could hurt him. Jack Burnett had once told him that bullies needed sympathy more than anybody else. It had made some sense at the time...but when he remembered what he saw that day, and what Howard had said to him, it was hard to remember anything like that. All he could remember was the look in his eyes.
Jake shook his head. The more they waited, the more Jake couldn't remember why he had ever said yes. He felt locked in...like when the bars closed down on you at a scary ride you never wanted to go on in the first place. What if Howard thought that Jake had told on him, just like he was never supposed to do? What if he looked at Jake again with those eyes? Jake had been petrified then by Aurelia's spell...but even if he hadn't been he wouldn't have been able to move. There were a billion reasons why this was a bad idea. He poked around more with the stick, waiting, waiting, waiting.
"Maybe he's not coming..." Jake mumbled finally. "Can we go back to the cabin now?" he asked, grabbing Serena's hand and looking up at her pleadingly. He was scared he was going to cry. But so what if he did....? He didn't care if he cried because he wanted to go back...This wasn't a good idea. It just wasn't.
5 Oct 2021, 02:42
In Pursuit of Peace
@Serena Towers | @Jake Morris
Howard had started towards the meeting spot and turned around at least a half dozen times as he attempted to gain the courage to face his demons. A funny thought really. That he who had terrorized the younger Hufflepuff was now the one scared of the little badger. Wouldn't it just be better to let the time pass and forget what had happened. That's what they always said right? Time was needed to heal the wounds...or some nonsense like that. Howard argued with himself over and over again as he paced around the campgrounds. As much as he would have loved to avoid this forever and forget his trespasses, a part of him knew that if he truly wanted redemption he would have to make it right. Not only would he have to face Jake, but he would have to face the part of him that had caused the suffering. That part of him that yearned for the control. That felt the power that came with using his strength to dominate another. The demon within that threatened to rule him if he did not find a way to keep the light ablaze within his soul. It would take tiny steps like apologizing to Jake that would support the bridge between his two natures. For finding a harmony between the two was the only way for Howard to truly become whole.
With a long exhale he steadied himself for what was to come. Long legs carried him quickly to the meeting spot that Serena had chosen. The very spot in which she had confronted him in the first place. Her presence and appall at what he had done had stoked the part of him that sought the light. That opened his eyes to just how destructive he could be. She may never know it as Howard was just beginning to realize it himself, but she just may very well have been to the one to redirect his path. Of course no one person can save a person who does not want to save themselves, but sometimes all it takes is a spark to ignite a fire.
When Howard approached the pair he would see Jake reaching for Serena's hand, the trepidation evident upon his face. Howard raised his hands in a sign of peace, but as his red eyes caught the sight of his own claws they would quickly fall into the pockets of his robes. If Jake were to make eye contact with him, Howard would hold it for a moment before they fell to the ground. Perhaps Jake would be able to see the difference in his gaze between the last time they had met and now. Where there was once a look of menace now there would be sorrow. Almost a pleading as he looked upon the younger boy. "Jake..." Howard would have to clear his throat to steady his voice. "Jake, I need to tell you something. Please, will you hear me out?"
5 Oct 2021, 10:05
In Pursuit of Peace
@Howard White and @Jake Morris
Serena swallowed as she watched Jake. She was not as nervous as he was nor did she have any reason to be but she was worried. This was the right thing to do, this was for the best. That was what she had convinced herself but there was no way to know. Maybe putting Jake in front of Howard was a terrible idea. If someone forced her to confront the dark - the thing she was most afraid of - she would hate it and yet, she was making Jake face someone he feared. But this was different. The dark was literally trying to kill them for no apparent reason and without remorse. Howard felt terrible, he made a mistake and he was suffering for it. She had seen that with her own eyes and she believed what she saw. Maybe she was too trusting, she did not know. But she believed it and she was staking all of trust and hope on it.
Her eyes started to water as she felt the younger Hufflepuff's hands grab hers, his voice pleading to her. The look on his face... If Jake started to cry, Serena would without a doubt. It was almost instinctive to cry when she saw someone else crying but that look was evidence of how scared he was. She did not know what to say. He was coming, right? He had to come.
But what if he didn't get her note? What if he forgot the location? What if he misread the time? She should have checked! Jake was going to think Howard flaked when it was her fault, not his! And... as always, it turned out that Serena completely overthought the situation. A sense of relief surged through her when she saw Howard approaching, his hands raised. Squeezing Jake's hand, she motioned towards the approaching figure to give Jake a little heads up.
Serena stayed quiet - unusual for her, in fairness. But whilst she had put herself in the middle of the situation to try and solve it, this part was kind of up to them. She was just... moral support at this point. There was nothing more she could say to make either of them feel better, so all she did was squeeze Jake's hand to let him know that she was there if he needed her before looking at the floor, feeling a little out of place. She should not really be here listening but she could not really walk away without Jake feeling bad. So, she just stayed there, hoping to fade into the background.
Oh look, there were grass strands. If she squinted at them, it looked a bit like a face with the odd pebble and twig around. How... interesting! Yes, she was just going to stare at the grass. Very interesting faces. And uh. Nature. And stuff.
PC: Serena Towers | iNPC: Arjan Oberoi | Other: Hjørdis Jensen & Xiomara Torres
Part-Goblin | Evasive Maneuvers | Beastmaster | Paragon of Health
Sta: 10 | Eva: 17 | Str: 3 | Wis: 15 | Arc Power: 10 | Acc: 15
Part-Goblin | Evasive Maneuvers | Beastmaster | Paragon of Health
Sta: 10 | Eva: 17 | Str: 3 | Wis: 15 | Arc Power: 10 | Acc: 15
11 Oct 2021, 06:12
In Pursuit of Peace
@Howard White @Serena Towers
The words were barely out of Jake's mouth, when Serena squeezed his hand, and motioned towards a figure approaching in the distance.
Jake turned his head and saw him coming. The pit in his stomach grew deeper as he saw the dark-haired boy approaching. His eyes caught sight once more of those claws...the ones that had once run slowly down his cheek. He had seen the older boy often inside of their cabin, but when that happened he made sure he got away fast as he could so that Howard didn't see him. This time Howard was coming right for him, and he was supposed to just stand there and wait.
Jake squeezed Serena's hand, to remember that she was there. Even as Howard came to a stop in front of them, the boy held onto her hand. He didn't want to do that, to need to hold her hand through the conversation...but he did need to feel her hand on his. If he was in front of his friends, like Jack or George, he might have let go, but they weren't there, and so he held on.
The time they stood in front of each other seemed to last forever. Jake's dark eyes rose slowly to meet Howard's. For a moment they met each other's gaze. To Jake's surprise it was Howard's eyes who dropped first. That allowed Jake to keep his eyes upward, staring at the older boy's face. There was something different about him now...something strange.
The face Howard wore now was one Jake had never seen upon him. It was like he was being faced with a different boy. There was a moment of pause, where Jake's eyes showed something besides fear, the confused and almost curious look of a boy trying to peer deeper at something unknown and unexpected. But the moment was short. On Howard's face was the ghost of the face Jake had seen that day, when he had been frozen and helpless, unable to move - the face that had looked upon him with a wicked smile, like Jake was a fly caught in a spider's web. That face might not have been showing now, but surely it was hiding beneath a mask...it was part of him. It was inside.
And no matter what those eyes looked like now, Jake couldn't forget the look he had seen in them that day in the room of requirement.
Howard finally spoke, and Jake watched him, unmoving and unblinking. Jake was quiet, the fear that the older boy had instilled in him that day evident in the tension on his face, the stiffness of his body, the short, shallow breaths. He didn't think Howard would hurt him here...in front of Serena...but what if he was wrong?
But Howard said something he hadn't expected at all...not in a million years.
"Jake...Jake, I need to tell you something. Please, will you hear me out?
Please... Howard had said please. But it wasn't just the word alone. It was how he said it. The voice that had spoke his name sounded so different from the voice he had heard before. In that voice was a desperation that Jake couldn't understand. Was it all some kind of trick...? The boy's expression softened ever so slightly, disarmed in his confusion.
"O-okay..." Jake mumbled, squeezing Serena's hand tighter, his body shifting slightly toward her. His body language was tense..but though the boy remained guarded, he did look up and hold Howard's eyes.
He would listen....for now.
The words were barely out of Jake's mouth, when Serena squeezed his hand, and motioned towards a figure approaching in the distance.
Jake turned his head and saw him coming. The pit in his stomach grew deeper as he saw the dark-haired boy approaching. His eyes caught sight once more of those claws...the ones that had once run slowly down his cheek. He had seen the older boy often inside of their cabin, but when that happened he made sure he got away fast as he could so that Howard didn't see him. This time Howard was coming right for him, and he was supposed to just stand there and wait.
Jake squeezed Serena's hand, to remember that she was there. Even as Howard came to a stop in front of them, the boy held onto her hand. He didn't want to do that, to need to hold her hand through the conversation...but he did need to feel her hand on his. If he was in front of his friends, like Jack or George, he might have let go, but they weren't there, and so he held on.
The time they stood in front of each other seemed to last forever. Jake's dark eyes rose slowly to meet Howard's. For a moment they met each other's gaze. To Jake's surprise it was Howard's eyes who dropped first. That allowed Jake to keep his eyes upward, staring at the older boy's face. There was something different about him now...something strange.
The face Howard wore now was one Jake had never seen upon him. It was like he was being faced with a different boy. There was a moment of pause, where Jake's eyes showed something besides fear, the confused and almost curious look of a boy trying to peer deeper at something unknown and unexpected. But the moment was short. On Howard's face was the ghost of the face Jake had seen that day, when he had been frozen and helpless, unable to move - the face that had looked upon him with a wicked smile, like Jake was a fly caught in a spider's web. That face might not have been showing now, but surely it was hiding beneath a mask...it was part of him. It was inside.
And no matter what those eyes looked like now, Jake couldn't forget the look he had seen in them that day in the room of requirement.
Howard finally spoke, and Jake watched him, unmoving and unblinking. Jake was quiet, the fear that the older boy had instilled in him that day evident in the tension on his face, the stiffness of his body, the short, shallow breaths. He didn't think Howard would hurt him here...in front of Serena...but what if he was wrong?
But Howard said something he hadn't expected at all...not in a million years.
"Jake...Jake, I need to tell you something. Please, will you hear me out?
Please... Howard had said please. But it wasn't just the word alone. It was how he said it. The voice that had spoke his name sounded so different from the voice he had heard before. In that voice was a desperation that Jake couldn't understand. Was it all some kind of trick...? The boy's expression softened ever so slightly, disarmed in his confusion.
"O-okay..." Jake mumbled, squeezing Serena's hand tighter, his body shifting slightly toward her. His body language was tense..but though the boy remained guarded, he did look up and hold Howard's eyes.
He would listen....for now.
26 Oct 2021, 03:40
In Pursuit of Peace
@Jake Morris | @Serena Towers
The moment of silence that passed between Jake and Howard seemed to last forever for the Dhampir. A million scenarios would run through his mind as he waited a response. Would Jake just break down into tears and run away, leaving Howard in this purgatory of never being resolved? Perhaps the younger boy would find courage with Serena close by and scream and shout at him. Maybe even draw a wand and hex him to oblivion. Howard would accept the punishment, almost welcome it over this tense silence. However, as his blood red eyes rose from the ground to unite with Jake's he would spot an odd expression on the little Badger's face. Was it...curiosity? Like an intrigued puppy with head cocked to the side, but the moment was fleeting before the tense and scared expression returned to Jake. Howard would again look away.
O-okay...
Finally the moment would break as Jake accepted Howard's plea. When his eyes rose again they would cary a glint of gratitude. He opened his mouth to speak , but then realized that as he stood his height towered over the little Huffle's. The last thing he wanted to do was to appear intimidating or dominating in any way. As slow as he could Howard would kneel, making sure to keep his hands and more importantly his claws out of sight. "Jake..." One word would escape his lips before they were left open as Howard struggled to find the proper words to explain himself. It had been hard enough with Serena who he at least knew pretty well, but how do you explain such demons to someone that could barely be called an acquaintance? The urge to give up was strong. To just run away and let things happen how they would. To jump back into the shadows and hide away. It would be easy, but this was not the moment for easy. If Howard wished to realign himself it would take work. There would be effort and sacrifice necessary to shift him back towards the light. His dark ways had lead him to this moment. To this crossroads that very well might shape the rest of his life. One might expect some grand gesture. Some over the top effort to showcase that he was not only violence and shadows, but that's the thing with doing what's right. It's the little things, the little decisions. For now it would be baby steps and the first one would be to admit his sins and ask for forgiveness.
"I came here to apologize and ask for forgiveness." Howard began with a steady voice, but his eyes would betray the emotion he felt within. The hesitation he felt before quickly fell away as he began his confession. "There is a part of me that's...off. A dark streak within me if you will. For a long time I never questioned it. Why it was there or why I acted on it so much, but now I think I'm starting to see. I've...felt a lot of pain in my life and I think I use my anger to hide away from it. I don't really understand it all very well, but I think that's why I hurt you. So that I didn't have to feel my own pain. I know it's no excuse, but I wanted to at least try and explain and to let you know I'm going to try and be better. I understand if you won't forgive me, I don't expect it really, but I had to at least try. Either way I want you to know that I won't hurt you again. I'll never speak to you again if that's what you want, but I've promised Serena and I'll promise you now. But, if you can find it in your heart to help me Jake, I could really use it. I...I can't do this alone anymore." Howard would leave it at that.
23 Nov 2021, 06:40
In Pursuit of Peace
@Howard White @Serena Towers
Jake regretted the word even as it left his lips. As Howard would slowly come down to his level, Jake didn't blink. The small twelve-year-old's eyes remained fixed on the much larger boy, on alert for any sudden movement, until they were face to face. Tension radiated from him. Howard looked into his eyes.
'Jake.' The older boy said his name. Jake flinched at the sound. He kept his hand anxiously in Serena's. Part of him wanted to run...but he stayed true to his word. Still his eyes stared unblinking into Howard's...waiting. He didn't know what Howard wanted to tell him...and what Howard finally said was something he never could have guessed.
Jake's mouth dropped in confusion, unable to understand the words that were being spoken to him. 'Apologize...?' The boy looked up, the silent question clear upon his face.
As Howard spoke, Jake was stunned into listening. The steady measured way the older boy spoke was so different from how he had sounded on that day. The Hufflepuff's face struggled...trying to process words he couldn't understand. Howard said he wasn't going to hurt Jake anymore. That he did it because he was hurting. But still Jake's mind was stuck on what had started it.
He came...to say sorry...?
Jake watched incredulously as the other boy finished speaking. For a moment, he forgot his hand was in Serena's. He was too surprised to feel scared. He remembered something...something he had spoken about once a very long time ago. Maybe he'd have forgotten, but it was the first conversation that him and Jack Burnett had ever had. The Slytherin had tried to teach him something that day...that sometimes bullies were in just as much pain as everyone else. Maybe even more. That they were sad, instead of scary. Maybe what Howard said...though Jake still didn't understand....maybe that'd been what Jack was trying to tell him. That maybe they were hurting, and that was why they hurt.
Jake couldn't remember what HE had said that day...it was only a distant memory now ("How come the bullies don't just be nice? I would forgive them if they just said they were sorry...")...but he remembered the confusion. Jack had sounded so smart and so sure...but how could Jake believe it...when the ones he'd met only laughed when they hurt him?
What Howard had done was a whole lot worse than just a bully...He hadn't just been there to tease Jake. He'd been going to do much worse. Him and the girl that were with him. That was why standing in front of Howard, made him feel like that all over again. Unsafe...frightened...like he was back in the room of requirement. But he forgot about that for a moment as he looked puzzled into Howard's eyes. None of the ones who had terrorized Jake had ever said they were sorry. Not once.
He had seen bullies...before Hogwarts, at the park. At Hogwarts too. They wore robes like everybody else did, but when they set their eyes on you you'd see stuff inside them that no grownup ever saw...Their eyes were the eyes of sharks. Or snakes. Once a boy whose eyes had been like a wolf's.
But Howard's eyes weren't the eyes of any of those. They were just the eyes of a boy.
"Y-you want....me....to help you....?" Jake repeated, pointing at himself in disbelief. His cheeks twitched, face squinted as he still struggled to understand.
"But...how...?" he finally asked, his voice quiet in the evening air.
Jake regretted the word even as it left his lips. As Howard would slowly come down to his level, Jake didn't blink. The small twelve-year-old's eyes remained fixed on the much larger boy, on alert for any sudden movement, until they were face to face. Tension radiated from him. Howard looked into his eyes.
'Jake.' The older boy said his name. Jake flinched at the sound. He kept his hand anxiously in Serena's. Part of him wanted to run...but he stayed true to his word. Still his eyes stared unblinking into Howard's...waiting. He didn't know what Howard wanted to tell him...and what Howard finally said was something he never could have guessed.
Jake's mouth dropped in confusion, unable to understand the words that were being spoken to him. 'Apologize...?' The boy looked up, the silent question clear upon his face.
As Howard spoke, Jake was stunned into listening. The steady measured way the older boy spoke was so different from how he had sounded on that day. The Hufflepuff's face struggled...trying to process words he couldn't understand. Howard said he wasn't going to hurt Jake anymore. That he did it because he was hurting. But still Jake's mind was stuck on what had started it.
He came...to say sorry...?
Jake watched incredulously as the other boy finished speaking. For a moment, he forgot his hand was in Serena's. He was too surprised to feel scared. He remembered something...something he had spoken about once a very long time ago. Maybe he'd have forgotten, but it was the first conversation that him and Jack Burnett had ever had. The Slytherin had tried to teach him something that day...that sometimes bullies were in just as much pain as everyone else. Maybe even more. That they were sad, instead of scary. Maybe what Howard said...though Jake still didn't understand....maybe that'd been what Jack was trying to tell him. That maybe they were hurting, and that was why they hurt.
Jake couldn't remember what HE had said that day...it was only a distant memory now ("How come the bullies don't just be nice? I would forgive them if they just said they were sorry...")...but he remembered the confusion. Jack had sounded so smart and so sure...but how could Jake believe it...when the ones he'd met only laughed when they hurt him?
What Howard had done was a whole lot worse than just a bully...He hadn't just been there to tease Jake. He'd been going to do much worse. Him and the girl that were with him. That was why standing in front of Howard, made him feel like that all over again. Unsafe...frightened...like he was back in the room of requirement. But he forgot about that for a moment as he looked puzzled into Howard's eyes. None of the ones who had terrorized Jake had ever said they were sorry. Not once.
He had seen bullies...before Hogwarts, at the park. At Hogwarts too. They wore robes like everybody else did, but when they set their eyes on you you'd see stuff inside them that no grownup ever saw...Their eyes were the eyes of sharks. Or snakes. Once a boy whose eyes had been like a wolf's.
But Howard's eyes weren't the eyes of any of those. They were just the eyes of a boy.
"Y-you want....me....to help you....?" Jake repeated, pointing at himself in disbelief. His cheeks twitched, face squinted as he still struggled to understand.
"But...how...?" he finally asked, his voice quiet in the evening air.
7 Dec 2021, 03:36
In Pursuit of Peace
@Jake Morris | @Serena Towers
Howard exhaled deeply as he finished his confession and plea for forgiveness. Although there was a part of him that was still consumed with guilt and anticipation it was a weight off of his chest just to speak the words. For so long he had allowed the anger to build up inside. A darkness that had crept through his body and soul, threatening to corrupt every part of him, but here and now this one act to at least try and make things right was like a candle lit in the shadows. With each act of good Howard performed the light grew stronger and that was the key. For so long the world had made choices for him. He did not choose to be born a wizard. He did not choose to have unaccepting parents or to be shipped off to another school in another world, but he did choose to allow the rage that came with it to fester within. Now was the choice to begin to let that all go. Now was the choice to begin to heal. Jake may never forgive him. A consequence that could stay with him forever, but in this moment Howard may just have found the key to his future.
A moment of pause would pass between Howard and Jake as Serena stood witness. The younger Hufflepuff's face would display an array of emotions as shock, disbelief and confusion coursed its way through him, but Howard would do his best to be patient. Eventually Jake would be able to process his thoughts and formed a question. One critical to Howard's pursuit of a better existence. The key words being help and how. The first the very thing the Dhampir needed to maintain his humanity. The second something he was just beginning to understand, but it was a tall order considering all that he had done to hurt people. "Yes, Jake." Howard answered the younger boys first question. "I need your help to be better." His sins and trespasses would stay with him forever, not to be forgotten for how else would he learn, but this lead into the how. "If you can find it in your heart to forgive me Jake that will help me. I'm still working with Serena as well, but the more I try to be better, the more I surround myself with good people, the better I'll be. If I keep trying to change, you know? You see, you're a good person Jake, but I don't expect you to forgive me. I'm just asking...for you to continue to be good. To try and find it within yourself to help me. I won't pressure you for an answer." With this Howard would edge away from Jake and slowly rise to his feet. If the younger Huffle wanted him to leave he would do so, but he would pause for a moment to allow him a chance to speak.
10 Jan 2022, 17:58
In Pursuit of Peace
@Howard White and @Jake Morris
Wow! There was something truly breathtaking about the entire scene in front of her. Perhaps it was the fact that it had successfully managed to silence her long enough for her to appreciate something else. But each point was clean, precise and sharp. The root of the matter was, obviously, the most important part. Every good foundation was built on strong, healthy roots. With care and consideration, anything could blossom from that. It was beautiful, really. Serena had never really noticed just how beautiful until this very moment. However, the way that the light from the summer sky landed on the scene made her heart swoon a little. Truly, was there anything more magnificent than nature?
The sharpness, the clarity, the colour! Really, each and every grass strand was unique. Serena observed as one bent slightly to the right, whilst the other next to it was double the length but very wonky. They even vary in how green they are and the varying shades of green made the whole thing look even more wonderful! There were many tiny little ones that went in every other direction. Some were torn or damaged slightly, crumpled even. Others stood up straight. They differed in length or width too.
If she stared at them long enough, she was pretty sure she could make out little faces or images of animals amongst the scene. There were some pebbles not too far from where they were standing that definitely looked a little bit like eyes in the muddy patches with less grass too. The bits of grass then became facial hair or a cool hairstyle.
Yes. Nature was cool. Super cool and very interesting and very beautiful. And Serena was totally focused on this. She was not paying attention at all to anything else, of course. Ignoring the fact that her hand was literally being clutched to, she tried to stare very intently at the ground feeling awkward that she was here listening to what sounded pretty personal and private. Admittedly, she knew most of it already but still... That was not the point.
She bit her lip, as she noticed how scared Jake looked. Wait- did not notice. Of course not. She was not paying attention! She did not notice how scared he looked! She just happened to bite her lip in tension at the sight that she did not see. Serena also definitely did not notice how Howard looked. Or the quiver in Jake's voice as he spoke or the hesitation in Howard's.
Ugh, who was she even kidding?
PC: Serena Towers | iNPC: Arjan Oberoi | Other: Hjørdis Jensen & Xiomara Torres
Part-Goblin | Evasive Maneuvers | Beastmaster | Paragon of Health
Sta: 10 | Eva: 17 | Str: 3 | Wis: 15 | Arc Power: 10 | Acc: 15
Part-Goblin | Evasive Maneuvers | Beastmaster | Paragon of Health
Sta: 10 | Eva: 17 | Str: 3 | Wis: 15 | Arc Power: 10 | Acc: 15