I'm a Writer Now? NaNoWriMo Prep

Setting

Distara (dih-STARE-uh)

After falling through the hole where their grandfather’s old time capsule was supposed to be buried, Edie and Pippa find themselves dropped into the world of Distara. Distara is made up of two civilizations: Erro and Tallis, with Erro lying to the south and Tallis situated further north.

The northern portion of Distara is relatively desolate due to the intense industrialization of the people of Tallis. The land itself is scarred from numerous mines used for the collection of ore and minerals which all go to the expansion and upkeep of the city there. Plant life is very hard to come by up here because of the harsh and nearly endless winter, so all materials come from the earth itself.

The southern portion of Distara contrasts greatly with the north. Here lies the Unforgiving Forest, a vast expanse of trees in which the city of Erro can be found. The weather in this part of the world is hot and humid, though once in the forest, the air is much cooler due to the thick canopy of leaves overhead. Here, the land remains nearly untouched, a wild tangle of vines and tall grass that are difficult to navigate if one is not from the area.

The most distinct landmark within this realm is the Endless Fissure which separates the land of Tallis from the land of Erro. The people of Erro (Erros) believe this fissure, which was formed centuries ago, was created by their god to separate them from the unnatural industrialization of Tallis. The people in Tallis (Tallies) believe it was created by their ancestors to mark a boundary line between the two cities. Since they view the Erros as greedy and pious, this was a definite way to claim their own land.

The Fissure runs from north by northwest to south by southeast, winding as it goes, and stretches farther than anyone has traveled before. The depth of the fissure appears endless, and while some of the Tallies have attempted to rappel down, even they do not have the resources to reach the bottom.

Tallis (TÆL-iss)

The city of Tallis prides itself on it’s vast technological advancements, and is constantly in pursuit of progress. You would be hard pressed to find any sort of plant life or vegetation within the city--even the food is all processed and manufactured (and not very pleasant to eat).

A thick layer of smog is present at all times, since the five major factories within the city are constantly working and pumping coal fumes into the air. Due to this smog, all buildings are coated with a layer of coal dust, making the city monochromatic in varying shades from medium grey to black. Because the city has a bland color palette, the upper class tend to add color to the clothing they wear, using crushed gemstones to paint the hodgepodge of metallic armor that makes up their clothing. However, even these colorful paints lose their dull and lose their vibrancy very quickly the moment they’re worn out and about in the city.

The upper class in Tallis is made up of the five families who own the factories, and this group considers everyone outside of it to be peasants. In fact, all other residents of the city practically are peasants because most of the available jobs are as factory workers and miners, which comes with next to no monetary compensation. Tallis is big on expansion, as the lower class citizens hope to claim new land for themselves, dreaming of opening their own stores and factories so that they may someday join the rich and elite. This expansion has taken them very close to the edge of the Fissure.

At the time of Edie’s arrival in Tallis, the people have recently completed a bridge which spans the Fissure, and have begun harvesting trees as fuel due to a devastating shortage of coal. Where before, there was a large radius of heat around the city that kept the winter at bay and its inhabitants warm, now, many of the furnaces are going cold, allowing snowfall to reach the city. This harsh weather is beginning to take its toll on the people who reside within Tallis.

Erro (AIR-oh)

The trees which envelop the city of Erro are giant redwoods, each one approximately 15 ft. in diameter and anywhere from 200-275 ft. tall. The city itself is built in eight different levels, the first of which is on the ground, and the others actually up in the trees themselves. These sky-high dwellings are constructed from the inside of the tree trunks and elaborate tree houses and bridges that run from tree to tree.

The Erros believe in a natural existence and always give back to the earth, only taking what they need to survive, and being sure to express gratitude to any food and materials they consume. The only food they eat is what they grow themselves, and all of their structures are carved from the insides of trees or are built from wood and vines. Even their clothing is woven from plant fibers, though sometimes, it is dyed with certain colorful flowers and plants.

Twice a year, the entire city comes together for a festival and elaborate ceremony in which a freshly cut tree is brought into the city (everyone helps carry it because it’s huge) for them to use for any of their needs throughout the next six months. Next, one person is chosen, usually a child, to plant a seed in the same spot where the tree was cut down. After this, the city launches into a grand party that lasts the entire night, celebrating their god, who has granted them this land and continues to provide for them.

At the time of Pippa’s arrival in Erro, some of the plant life has taken a turn for the worse and begun wilting and dying. The Erros believe this to be the fault of the Tallies, as they have not only run their own land dry of resources, but have now begun taking trees from the edge of the forest to serve their own corrupt desires as well.

War

Immediately after constructing the bridge, the people of Tallis sent a messenger to Erros in an attempt to express their dilemma, asking only for enough trees to fuel the furnaces which heat the city, which would allow them security in the bitter cold environment as they searched for more coal. However, when the messenger returned to them bruised and bloody, it was clear that their request had been denied. The Tallies, angered by this brutality, took trees anyway, desperate for fuel, and were no longer concerned with getting the approval of the high and mighty Erros.

War is brewing between the two civilizations, and Edie and Pippa have found themselves caught in the middle of it.

Word Count: 1142/1000

Main Characters

Twins

This story does not have one main character, but two, as twin sisters Edie and Pippa are thrust into this adventure together...though they may not stay together for long.

Edie and Pippa Edwards were born to Oliver and Florence on the 14th of November 16 years ago. They have one younger brother, Ian, who is 11 years old, and up until a few years ago, their grandfather, Theodore, also lived with the family. Unfortunately, Theo went missing all those years ago, and the family has no knowledge of what happened to him.

As twins often are, their entire lives, Edie and Pippa have always been lumped together, treated as a matched set. However, if someone were to take the time to really get to know them, they would see two entirely unique people.

Appearance

Edie and Pippa are identical twins with dark blonde hair that falls to about their shoulder blades. Their eyes are deep green, like sparkling emeralds, and millions of freckles dot their faces, though they’re more prevalent on Pippa.

Both girls follow a similar but different arc throughout the story--at first, the city they find themselves in feels against their nature and rubs them the wrong way. As time goes on, their understanding goes past the surface, and they find similarities between the group’s interests and their own. As the war comes to a critical point, they find it within themselves to overcome their own flaws to do what is right and necessary for their respective city. Though when the girls finally come face to face again, they may not even recognize themselves.

Edie

Edie loves spending time outdoors and craves cool, autumn days when the sun shining down is just enough to warm her up. She can often be found on her favorite park bench, reading a new book or drawing anything and everything she sees. She draws a lot of inspiration from nature, and also enjoys long hikes or just wandering around the woods that stretch along the side of her house. Sometimes, when she’s alone in the forest, she likes to pretend that she is a fairy princess in a distant world who is lost and trying to find her way home. In this pretend world, for a brief moment, she feels like a unique, confident, independent individual, and she feels inspired to be more like that in her everyday life. After this, however, when she returns home, she always goes back to the same person she has always been.

She doesn’t necessarily dress to impress, but still enjoys looking put together and presentable, and she has a vast collection of sweaters and cardigans that she chooses from every day. On a typical day, Edie would probably be seen wearing a comfortable pair of leggings, a flowy, sleeveless shirt, a long sweater, and her favorite pair of Keds. She keeps her hair in a french braid most of the time so it will stay out of her way.

Edie has always been the more soft spoken twin. She has a hard time standing up for herself, but this has never been a problem as her sister is more than happy to speak for her. Deep down, Edie is afraid of always being overshadowed and forgotten. She has never told her sister this, but there are times when she holds a bit of resentment towards Pippa for making decisions for her and forcing her own will. Edie looks forward to a time when she will get to explore who she is outside of her twin sister. Once she graduates from high school, she hopes to go to college to double major in Fine Arts and Creative Writing to pursue her dream of writing and illustrating children’s books. Books and artwork were very important parts of her childhood, and Edie hopes to provide that same magic to a new generation of children. She is looking to attend a university in or near a large city in the hopes that she can begin making connections early on for her books to have a better chance of being published.

Her biggest flaw is the way she keeps thoughts and emotions bottled up but is unwilling to voice them. Growing up with a very talkative, opinionated sister, Edie could hardly ever manage to get a word in, so pretty early in her childhood, she stopped trying. Since she was unable to voice her thoughts and emotions, they began piling up in her head, and while she has thus far managed to not lash out at her sister, if this continues, it could potentially wreck her relationship with Pippa.

When she first arrives in Tallis, Edie is more interested in this new world she finds herself in than she is in finding her sister and returning home. She is immediately horrified by the Tallies’ way of life and their lack of anything natural throughout the entire city. Their entire existence doesn’t make sense to her, and when she hears about the war with the Erros, in her mind, she sides with the tree-dwellers at first. Throughout her time in the city, though, she slowly comes to have a better understanding of the people and their desire to achieve greatness.

As her comfort with this group grows, she is able to open their hearts and minds a bit to the idea that they might not just need trees for fuel, but may need some living, growing things in their city. Not everything has to be about quick progress, as there is also beauty in things that take time and nurturing to blossom. When it is time for the fighting to start, she has learned to stand up for these people she now cares about, and is more than willing to go to battle for the Tallies around her.

After returning from Distara at the end of the story, Edie has learned to not be so afraid of telling people what she is thinking and feeling. After witnessing the war, which exploded from a serious lack of communication, she knows that being courageous and speaking up now can help avoid severe issues in the long run.

Pippa

Pippa really loves video games, and spends much of her free time playing online with friends. She also loves spending time with her family, and makes sure to reserve every Friday night for family movie night with her parents, Edie, and Ian. Her ideal day would include a thunderstorm raging outside, a blanket fort spanning the entire living room, and binge watching scary movies with friends and family.

Pippa’s fashion sense is pretty typical, and most days, she can be found wearing one of her favorite pairs of jean shorts and some sort of crop top or t-shirt that she has cut into a modified tank top. Her hair is usually left down, but, as many girls do, she always keeps a scrunchie on her wrist just in case.

No one would ever describe Pippa as shy. She is always willing to voice her thoughts and opinions, whether or not they were asked for, though she is entirely unaware that she possesses this trait. Pippa views her sister as someone in need of protection, and will always go out of her way to ensure that Edie is taken care of. Deep down, Pippa just wants to protect those around her, especially her sister, and she feels like she truly knows what’s best for her twin. Pippa hasn’t yet decided what she wants to do with her life. Though she loves video games, she doesn’t see herself as a creative person, so she’s never considered trying to work in a field such as video game production. Though her heart doesn’t truly lie in the family flower business, Pippa views this as an easy path to take, as well as a life course that will keep her close to her family, which is very important to her. Although she would like to attend college with her sister and doesn’t want to be apart from her, she does not see much point in spending all of that money on a higher education when she isn’t even sure what she wants to do with her life. And because of this, she is constantly trying to convince her sister to attend a university that is nearby so they can still see each other often.

Her biggest flaw is her impatience, which many times also leads her into jumping to conclusions and making unfair assumptions about people’s character and decisions. As a child, while she tended to be very social and popular, Edie faded a bit more to the background and was more susceptible to being made fun of. Pippa always felt like her sister had a hard time standing up for herself, so she took it upon herself to protect Edie. This idea of herself as her twin’s protector only grew deeper as they got older, and it has ended up becoming a foundational part of Pippa’s identity. She likes having someone to take care of and would go to the ends of the earth to save her sister.

When she first arrives in Erros, Pippa is only concerned with finding Edie and figuring out a way to get back home. The people there talk of war and the Tallies who are encroaching on their land, and promise to help Pippa once they have dealt with the more pressing matters at hand. Pippa makes a hasty decision to fight against the Tallies, and when her plans end in disaster, she finally slows down for a second and really takes in the scope of this war and what the Erros are fighting for. Once she actually stops to listen, she begins to sympathize with the people and their desire to protect their home. Seeing the error of her ways, Pippa encourages the Erros to be patient and wait for the enemy to approach them. She gains a new appreciation for the importance of patience and fully understanding a situation before you jump head first into it.

After returning from Distara at the end of the story, Pippa has learned the importance of listening before taking action, and that standing up and loudly voicing your opinion is not always the best course of action. Though patience can be a hard thing to learn, she has now experienced the potential negative effects of making rash decisions, and thinks through her actions before doing them.

Word Count: 1743/1000

Main Plot

In One Sentence

Twin sisters Edie and Pippa fall through a portal to another world and find themselves caught between two warring cities as they attempt to find their way back home.

Outline

I. Prologue

A. Twin sisters are going through their grandfather’s old room
B. They find a map to an old time capsule buried out in the woods

1. Time capsule was buried exactly 30 years before their grandfather went missing

II. Chapter One

A. The girls are digging the time capsule back up
B. Pippa climbs out of the hole to take a break and Edie hits something as she continues to dig

1. Pippa is talking to her--suddenly, Edie stops responding
2. Pippa looks into the hole and sees a light before jumping in after her twin

III. Chapter Two

A. Edie wakes up

1. Colorful acidic snow starts--it burns

B. Runs to find shelter--cave has people wearing freaky masks (respirator masks, but made of bits of metal and looking very steampunk)

1. Freaked out, tries to run, stopped by people in cave (because they know the acid snow is dangerous)
2. Snow stops pretty quickly, group hurries back to town, and Edie goes with them

IV. Chapter Three

A. Pippa wakes up

1. In a fancy treehouse
2. “Oh good, you’re awake” -- “You’re the one we’ve been asking for”?

B. Tour around Erro--beautiful, but wilting, and people are beginning to feel the effects of the dying earth

1. Tour guide takes her up to a viewing platform to look out, where way off in the distance is Tallis
2. Tallis looks like a dark cloud from this far away because of the coal dust and smog

C. Asks about Edie, asks about how she was found and what she needs to do to find her sister

1. They say they are too busy with the war to help with this matter

D. The Tree Festival is that night

1. They are trying to continue on with normal life so their people won’t be alarmed
2. This festival would make good cover for Pippa to sneak away

V. Chapter Four

A. Edie arrives in Tallis

1. She is horrified by the pollution and lack of living things
2. The smog still lingers though the furnaces is cold and the city is slowly being covered by regular snow

B. People give her a place to stay and begin explaining the conflict with the Erros

1. The place where she is brought is the lowest level of the richest noble’s mansion in the city (this is Theo)
2. The people who have brought her here work for this upper class family (and are very grateful for it because at least it’s not factory work

VI. Chapter Five

A. From an upper window, a man with bright white hair and a matching, well-kept beard watches as his servants bring a stranger into his home

1. Begins to leave to confront his servants and this newcomer
2. Stops himself and remains in his office instead

B. Goes over to his desk and sits down

1. Pulls out a fancy version of tin cans connected with string and makes a call to security

VII. Chapter Six

A. Pippa is angry at the Erros for not being willing to help

1. Makes a hasty plan to go destroy the bridge, which she believes will end the war, as the Tallies will no longer be able to reach the forest

a) One of the leaders tells her that it they have of course considered destroying the bridge before but that it is impractical and won’t work

2. Recruits some of the Erros to go with her; some are raring to go, others are more hesitant

B. Pippa arms herself and the group heads out

1. After a bit of travel time, they get to the edge of the forest
2. They charge out of the trees, some attacking those chopping down trees, and others (including Pippa) heading straight for the bridge

VIII. Chapter Seven

A. The Tallies with Edie are kind, but very pessimistic about their situation and about the Erros

1. After a while of listening to this (and realizing that her sister isn’t there to speak for her), Edie gets fed up, and questions their city’s motives

a) At this point, the conversation gets a little more real, and the people she’s with cut to the heart of their hopes and desires, including the need for progress in order to build a better life for themselves
b) It is here that Edie begins to sympathize with them, but she also takes a step forward in overcoming her shyness, opening these Tallies’ minds to the beauty of nature and the benefits of having growing, living things

B. Guards show up and knock on the door

1. They received a tip that she is a spy from Erro

IX. Chapter Eight

A. A small battle at the bridge

1. The Tallies quickly overpower the small group of Erros

a) They aren’t even able to reach the bridge

2. Several Erros (and Pippa) are injured and/or captured and they decide that the best course of action is to retreat

B. After a hasty trip back to Erro, the group arrives in the middle of the festival (which stops immediately) and they are reprimanded by the leader; Pippa in particular is scolded for her recklessness

1. This turns into a deeper conversation of what the forest means to the Erros, the importance of the earth they live off of, and how badly the Tallies are hurting them by taking trees
2. Also discusses the fact that the Erros are limited in the medical treatments they have, so they can’t help much when their own people get sick
3. Pippa is devastated by the damage her own actions caused, and hits a hard turning point, considering who she is as a person, and who she wants to grow to be

X. Chapter Nine

A. The guards bring Edie to the military headquarters
B. She meets with the makeshift army commander

1. They only named an army commander recently because of this brewing conflict

C. Edie gets questioned by the commander about being a spy

1. Not only does she deny it, but she tells the commander that she wants to help them

D. Because of the attack on the bridge, they are rapidly mobilizing forces to move into the forest and attack Erro

1. Edie agrees to fight with them

E. She gets completely decked out in metallic armor, including a respirator mask, and her group begins to head out towards Erro

1. Point of note: Edie’s face and hair are smudged and stained from the residual smog

XI. Chapter Ten

A. Guards are entering the older man’s study, where he still sits at his desk

1. He asks for a report
2. They tell him that they dealt with the girl; that she wasn’t a spy and even volunteered to fight for them

B. Older man starts yelling at the guards (obviously, his plan backfired)

1. Asks when the group left

a) They headed out a little over an hour ago

2. Man grabs a new mechanism he’s been crafting (a makeshift gun) from his desk, snags his coat, and sprints out of the room after the group of fighters

XII. Chapter Eleven

A. Trying to move forward from the disaster that was Pippa’s impromptu plan, the Erros are trying to figure out how best to proceed, and whether to take action or retreat further into the forest

1. There are people arguing both sides

B. Pippa speaks up

1. Initially, no one wants to listen to her, saying that she’s hurt their people enough
2. She tells them they should just wait for the Tallies to come to them

a) Maybe there’s no need for violence, and they can resolve this without anyone else getting hurt

3. The Erros eventually (after an inspiring speech by Pippa) agree to wait, but state very plainly that the moment one of the Tallies sets foot within the city’s limits, all bets are off

C. The group begins preparing for the Tallies, and Pippa dons the makeshift wooden armor that has been hastily crafted by the Erros

1. This includes a mask/helmet thing that is supposed to look intimidating to the enemy

XIII. Chapter Twelve

A. The fighter group is arriving at the outskirts of Erro
B. They stop just short, and have a whispered conversation about how best to approach this

1. Do they try to talk, do they try to force the Erros to retreat, or do they just start attacking?
2. Edie recalls the story of the messenger the Tallies had sent to Erro before all of this began, and calls for the group to just go in and attack any warriors who dare to stand in their way

C. They move in

XIV. Chapter Thirteen

A. The battle begins

1. The second the first Tallie sets foot in the city, the archers begin firing towards them
2. Erros come out from hiding places (their armor provides camouflage since it’s made from forest materials)

B. Soon turns into an all out brawl

1. Children and elderly of Erro have been moved to the top level of the city to keep them safe

C. Edie and Pippa end up directly fighting each other, though each of them are looking and acting so different from the way they were before that they don’t recognize each other
D. Neither side is really winning; there’s an equal amount of loss on either side
E. At the climax of the battle, a voice cuts through the crowd yelling “STOP!” and a deafening bang sounds (the old man’s gun)

1. Everyone stops immediately

XV. Chapter Fourteen

A. The old man makes a speech! (standing on the first off-ground level of the city so everyone can hear and see him)

1. Covers the major themes

a) So ingrained in their own ways that they aren’t even willing to listen to the other side
b) Bottling up emotions doesn’t resolve anything--it leads to unnecessary anger and violence
c) Fighting doesn’t solve problems
d) They could learn from each other if they would just be willing to listen and understand

B. Edie and Pippa both recognize the older man as their grandfather, Theo

1. Edie takes her mask off and calls out to him
2. Pippa realizes she’s been fighting her sister and removes her mask as well
3. In seeing how even these twin sisters were somehow brought against each other, the people from both cities around them start rethinking this war

C. Commander of Tallis steps up, voicing thoughts about wanting to come to a peaceful agreement and avoiding any more violence

1. Leader of Erro agrees, and they also invite Theo, Edie, and Pippa to help them negotiate peace

XVI. Chapter Fifteen

A. A new festival is taking place

1. A seed is planted on the opposite side of the bridge by a child Tallie while an Erros child plants a seed at the same spot on the Erro side[/indent]
B. They celebrate peace, and attempting to understand the way each other live

1. Not a perfect union, and there are still many things to overcome, but they are at least listening to each other now
2. Erros can start to understand why some technological advancements are good, including medicines provided by the Tallies
3. Tallies understands the importance of things that grow, and know that trees will help clean up their air, and also that burning wood instead of coal will be much cleaner and better for them

a) They learn to appreciate the materials they have available to them

C. Theo tells the girls it’s time to go home[/indent]


XVII. Chapter Sixteen

A. A long conversation between the twins and their grandfather

1. He has been in this world for 100 years
a) They do not age as quickly here because they are not from this world
b) He started the industrial revolution and was the first factory owner

2. He was working on a way back home and figured it out, but felt that it was his responsibility to stay and take care of the city he had built up

a) Plus he knew he’d live longer here than in the real world
b) It also felt nice to be accomplished and successful and teach the skills he had learned in the real world to help the people here

3. The girls ask what was in the time capsule

a) He says old pictures and trinkets and notes and keepsakes
b) They all blended together to create this beautiful world?

4. He’s not going back with them

a) He feels responsible for the war in the first place and wants to oversee the ongoing peace negotiations
b) Technically, they can come visit any time since they know where the entrance is to this portal

B. After a teary goodbye, he takes them to a mechanism on the edge of the fissure, and tells them that going down far enough will take them back home

1. They had crafted a few pulleys that would take them down far enough
2. This is why anyone who went into the fissure went missing

a) They had banned anyone from attempting to find the bottom, because no one ever came back

C. The girls hook harnesses to the pulley and are lowered into the fissure

1. They’re really scared
2. Suddenly, the darkness starts getting lighter, and brightens into a blinding light

XVIII. Chapter Seventeen

A. The girls wake up on the ground beside the hole they had dug when looking for the time capsule

1. It seems to be about the same time as they left (it’s been about an hour)

B. They sit for a few minutes, very quiet

1. Edie is the one to break the silence, saying “Come on, we should go home.”
2. Pippa doesn’t say anything--just nods and begins to follow her away

Word Count: 2191/1000
I went a little crazy with this one

Subplots

Theo

Unbeknownst to the twins for the majority of the story, their grandfather, who has been missing for four years, has been a major influencer in Distara. He may not be the same man they once knew, and he chooses to sit back in the shadows, pulling strings, until he feels like there is no choice but to place himself in the middle of the conflict.


• The first time we see Theo, he is standing at his window, watching Edie being brought into his home by some of his workers (though the reader does not know who this man is). He seems to recognize her, though it takes him a second to do so, and the joy he initially shows immediately turns to dread and shame. Theo knows that if he sees his granddaughter, that’s the end of the life he’s built for himself here. In a fit of panic, Theo decides that he needs to get her out of the city and away from him, the selfish desires he’s been feeding for 100 years make him lose sight of what’s really important. In the final moments of this chapter, he grabs his makeshift telephone and makes a call to the security team he has at his estate.

• Theo is now at his desk, tinkering with something (we later discover that it’s a gun he’s been inventing). The guards come in to report to him about the results of the call he had made earlier. At first, Theo is relieved that Edie is out of the city, but when he finds out that she has gone off to fight, he can’t sit idly by anymore. His love for his family outweighs his selfishness, and he runs out the door, taking his invention with him.

• At this point, this subplot of a mystery man collides with the main narrative, with Theo putting an end to the war through an inspiring speech. He is, of course, recognized by the twins, and the three of them, together with the leader of the Erros (since he’s basically the leader of the Tallies) go off to negotiate peace.

• During a final conversation with Edie and Pippa, he spills the details on what has happened to him in the last 4 (or 100 in Distara time) years. He explains how awful he was and how he has seen the error of his ways. Though he would love to go back to the real world with the girls, he feels a responsibility to stay and oversee this new age in Distara.

• Once the girls head down into The Fissure, we see Theo breathe a sigh of relief. He glares over at the forest, but slowly, his expression turns to a smirk. Perhaps he has not changed as much as we were led to believe.

The Death and Restoration of the Natural World in Distara

Nature is a recurring topic of interest throughout the story. The corruption of the land is the main point of opposition between the two cities, with the Erros blaming Tallis for the withering of the forest, and the Tallies being angry with Erro for being unwilling to share their resources. Both groups end up being united by their desire to restore the land, and new growth begins.


• When Edie first wakes up in Distara, snow starts to fall. This snow is different, because it’s appearance is like an oil slick--a rainbow of different colors that changes as it moves, sort of opalescent. It might look beautiful at first, but if it hits your skin, it burns like acid (hence the name given by the people, the “acid snow”). This acid snow is caused by the excessive industrialization of Tallis. As Edie runs for cover, she comes across a bunch of Tallies who are taking shelter in a cave, and all of them are covered in soot and wearing particle masks made out of bits of metal and random filter scraps. This introduces the existence of smog in Tallis, also a result of the furnaces that have worked 24/7 for decades

• As Pippa is given a tour around Erro, she learns just how important nature is to the Erros. Supposedly, The Fissure is a physical reminder of what happens when you treat the land so poorly. The festival they have her first night there emphasizes that information even further to communicate the sanctity and divinity they associate with the natural world

• As Edie talks to the Tallies, she introduces to them the beauty of the world--the concept that the world isn’t just there to serve you, but should also be enjoyed and admired

• While Pippa and her little group travel to the bridge, she sees some sort of deterioration and corruption within the trees and the grass, but oddly enough, once they get away from Erro, the corruption ends, and the edges of the forest are healthy and thriving. After Pippa gets back from the battle, and the leader begins going more in depth about the “fact” that the Tallies are the reason for the withering of the forest, Pippa notices that discrepancy with what she saw, but doesn’t say anything yet

• While Edie and the other soldiers trek through the forest, there is a fearful awe as they look at the enormous trees. They cannot help but notice the beauty of nature for a moment, though after this initial reaction, they mainly see the forest as fuel

• When the Erros begin making plans and it seems that they are going to fight, Pippa voices her thoughts on patience. She mentions that the withering they are seeing might not be because of Tallis, but because they are so stuck in their own ways and going against the will of their deity. Pippa also tells this group what she overheard about the Tallis messenger who tried to communicate with them. They are the cause of their land’s destruction. This speech finalizes the leader’s decision to opt for patience.

• Once the fighting has ended, a new festival has begun. A new seed is planted on either side of The Fissure, symbolizing new life in Distara for nature, the people, and the cities. While things are not perfect yet, the people are working toward peace and are unified by their desire to restore the land. Both sides have a better understanding of what the natural world means and how it should be used and treated.

• After the twins leave, when Theo looks over at the forest with malice and distaste, it is clear that things aren’t quite right with him. His remaining opposition against the natural is symbolic of his true self

Word Count: 1106/1000

Secondary Characters

Theodore

Theo has stark white hair and a beard to match that he keeps well-trimmed and neat. He only stands at about 5’ 8”, but the authority of his presence makes him seem much taller. His emerald green eyes match those of the twins, though his complexion is a bit darker and more rugged than his granddaughters’. As the one who sparked the industrial revolution for Tallis, Theo is fully ingrained in their customs and culture, so the clothing he wears is all made of metal, very steampunk-esque. His clothing has all been dyed a deep red color from powdered rubies, which made no dent in his funds seeing as he’s the wealthiest man in the city and owner of the first factory they built. His clothing has also maintained its vibrancy, as he does not often leave his residence. Being from a world separate from this one, he has a better understanding of things that others don’t, including the danger of the smog that hangs around the city, and while he invented respirators to help those working in the factories and traversing the city, he avoids the risk entirely by staying indoors.

Theodore is the grandfather of Edie and Pippa. A few years ago, he lived with their family, until one day, he vanished without a trace, and the family never got closure about what happened to him (though by now, the assumption has been made that he has passed on). In the real world, Theo worked as a mechanical engineer for most of his life. After retiring, he and his wife, Amelia, moved to Europe to enjoy the peace and quiet of a new and beautiful environment. However, after only a year of this wonderful new start in life, Amelia fell ill and deteriorated quickly. When she passed, Theo moved back home, and was very grateful when his son offered for him to come live with him and his family. In his eighth year of living with them, Theodore found an old map to a time capsule that he and his wife had buried 30 years before (his son’s house used to be his and Amelia’s home). Without telling anyone, he set off into the woods early one morning to dig up this time capsule, and never returned home.

When Theo first sees Edie in Tallis, at first, he doesn’t hesitate to go see her, but very quickly, he rethinks this decision. A lot has changed in the 100 years since Theo arrived in Distara, both in the environment around him, and within himself. Being pulled away from his family and thrown into a new world left him bitter and angry, and his desire for the lifestyle he had grown accustomed to drove him to tinkering and experimenting. This tinkering eventually led to the vast expansion of the city of Tallis, which eventually led to the war. For 100 years, he has watched his actions directly cause poverty, illness, heartbreak, and controversy, and done nothing to stop it. The moment he sees Edie, the weight and shame of who has become crashes down around him. Rather than accept his wrongdoings, he chooses to push them away, and underhandedly tries to get his granddaughter out of the city (out of sight, out of mind). But as the guards tell him this girl has gone to war, he knows he cannot sit idly by and allow her to be killed, and rushes off to put an end to this conflict.

Word Count: 579/300

Bram

Bram has a ruddy complexion and irises so dark brown that they are nearly indistinguishable from his pupils. His hair is a similar dark brown color, and likes to stick up in every direction, even after a full day of wearing a hard hat in the mines. Bram’s clothing resembles armor even more so than for other people because he actually chose to fashion it that way because of his field of work. To top off this look, he always has a thick pair of goggles which he keeps either around his neck or perched on top of his head at all times.

At 6’2”, Bram is one of the tallest Tallies you’ll find. One might wonder if this trait, paired with the large amount of muscle he has from years working in the mines, is what qualified him to be commander. However, Bram has much more going for him than just his size. He is a brilliant tactician and inspiring leader, and his place among the lower class of the city has garnered him the trust of the majority of Tallis.

As the two civilizations have drawn nearer to war, Bram has been named commander of the army in Tallis. Though reluctant to take this position, Bram still accepted it, trusting himself to lead the people more than anyone else. Bram is very self-assured and understands his strengths and abilities well, though his attitude is far from arrogant. He has a quiet confidence about him that puts people at ease while also demanding authority and respect. He is not one to jump to conclusions or make rash decisions, but this doesn’t make him any less of an imposing force. When he strikes, his moves are well thought out and designed to do maximum damage. Bram is a force to be reckoned with, and it is lucky for the Erros that the war gets called off as quickly as it does.

Word Count: 321/300

Anya

One thing that is typical within the Erros is a sort of natural camouflage that comes from wearing clothes made of plant fibers. However, this is not true of Anya. The long robes she wears have been dyed a deep red from cherries gathered throughout the forest. This color pairs beautifully with her tanned skin and the long silvery hair that hangs in wavy curtains around her face. Her eyes are a bright hazel, which matches the color of the gemstone embedded in the woven headpiece she wears.

Anya has been the leader of the Erros for about 25 years. This title was handed down to her, as she was the daughter of the city’s previous leader, Niles. Her entire life, Anya has been preparing for the position she now holds. The people love and respect her as they did her father before her, but behind her mask of confidence, Anya has plenty of doubts, and wishes more than anything that her father was there to give her guidance.

But since her father is no longer around, she has taken to relying on those who are closest to her to help her make the tough decisions she has been faced with lately. Though she is very grateful to have trusted friends around her to offer their advice and opinions, she knows that ultimately, the fate of Erro rests on her shoulders. So despite the worries and fears that rattle around constantly in her brain, she does her best to remember the virtues of faith and patience that she was brought up on and instill both of those in all of the people under her leadership. However, faith and patience do not mean that the Erros must sit and do nothing while the Tallies destroy the edge of the forest. As the conflict comes to a breaking point, it would seem that the period of patience is quickly closing, and Anya will not hesitate to send her people into battle once the timing is right.

Word Count: 334/300