You can't understand Pv Santario Fin

Henry might have knew the spells and their origins by heart. The young boy studied ahead and when he could choose to read and practice his dueling techniques or study ahead with his academics. However it wasn't the spells that usually failed, it was his castings that did. Most days he withered believed he wasn't strong enough to cast the spells needed to win or his anxiety would get in his head and have him miss his target or fail completely.

When he heard his captain's words, the young teen thought on them for a moment and believed that he was. After all he was the first to be knocked unconscious during his last duel and only one or two of his spells actually hit their mark while the rest completely missed or backfired against him.

"Your not wrong, not including academics I am the weakest person on the team, " Henry replied looking at the facts if it. The young boy watched other duels of his team and noticed that he could be considered the weakest, after all he was the first to get knocked unconscious last duel and most his spells completely missed or backfired aginest himself. He was pretty sure that a large part of getting knocked unconscious was his fault with the amount of backfired spells he had.

"I'm only joking," Henry quickly added after with a single smile but nothing more. No laughter or playful tone like there usually was when he was joking because he might have said those words to his co captain but didn't believe them himself. After all how could he ignored the fact that repeated itself daily within his own mind.

Henry nodded toward her when he heard her words, a part of him felt a bit at ease to hear that she will be dodging or at least trying to dodge his spells while another part him felt just as uneasy since he didn't want to hurt his captain and also didn't want to show her that he really was a failure.

After after first failure, Henry would look toward his captain and nod to her before he would Cash the tongue tying jinx.

To his surprise, it actually hit her well she nearly missed it but still it wasn't a complete failure. Henry however saw her hand movements and picked up on their meaning but instantly felt awful and wanted to make sure that she was okay first.

He would aim his wand at her and take a breath, feeling his anxiety increase as he muttered the counter spell once or twice under his breath afraid that he would mess up or possibly hurt Santario.

"Finite Incantatem," Henry spoke softly and worriedly as he hoped it would be successful. Watching the string of blue fly from his wand and toward the fellow slytherin, Henry wasn't sure it worked and hoped it did as he called over to her, " are you alright? I'm sorry uh," the young lad would then nod slightly and prepare the next spell he was practicing from before.

There was one spell that he was curious about and haven't seen it in action, he wasn't even sure if he could cast it successfully because there wasn't a chance during a duel yet where he could cast it so he figured why not try it now.

The boy aimed his wand for Santario and took a breath, focusing his mind and body as his thoughts swiveled inside fueled by his anxiety.

'You nearly missed her'

'You really are pathetic'

'No matter how much you practice, your going to lose your third duel like you lose your second one'

'This is going to fail now'

'Ready to watch your next spell fail, failure'

'She's right you know, you are the weakest person on the team'

'Maybe she was giving you a hint to leave the team, it would be better off without you'

'She deserves to practice, not you'

'After all she isn't a failure like your are'

Henry took a breath and aimed his wand toward Santario as he took a breath, focusing his mind before speaking softly" Cantis, " the young teen would watch the spell fly from his wand and focused his mind until it would reach its target wherever that would be.

Henry nodded toward her words but still felt bad when the spell hit her. Even after he cast the counter charm, the young lad still felt bad about the tongue tying hex.

Even though he was a duelist and the spells he cast at his opponents weren't personal to them, he would still feel bad in the end. Only seeing the fact that he either hurt them or knocked them out, so when he didn't get knocked out himself or blame himself for being a failure then he would feel bad, actually guilty about winning by hurting another. It was just another reason why dueling was a mixture of emotions for him.

Henry watched his singing jinx miss Santario and instantly his mind and that voice started to blame himself and refer to him as a failure.

He heard the girl's words and felt even worse talking about the rest of the team with her but he listened.

He heard Erik left the team but all that reminded him of was when Amara left, a part of him still missed her. He heard that others lost their second stage duel as well and some even lost both of their duels so far, the thought didn't make him feel better or not view himself as the weakest link. Actually it was the opposite, within his mind he was running through statics and past duels and each of his teammates.

Henry would listen to his captain explain both of her duels and never thought of it in that way however his mind was still turning and his anxiety increasing as he nodded toward her and got ready.

He aimed his wand at Santario. Focused his mind on the next spell. And spoke softly, "Expelliarmus," and he watched as sparks sailed right past the girl. She never even needed to dodge them.

Henry took a breath and looked down a bit as his eyes focused on the ground before he calmly spoke"I caused my team to lose our last duel, I bet no one else on the team did that," Henry ran his fingers over his wand as the memories of last duel came swimming back to him, "my spells backfire on me and miss their intended targets but that's not why we lost," Henry remembered only hitting their opponents twice last duel and one nearly hit him. The others either missed completely or backfired on him which wasn't fun flying though the air and landing on one's backbone or stomach.

"Even before the duel started, all I could think about was Amara and the first duel aginest gryffindor. I kept looking back on it, seeing what I could learn from that duel to use aginest ravenclaw but instead all that happened was that I remembered Amara and that she left. She left without saying to anyone why and probably because of me," Henry spoke still his eyes turned on the ground as he ran his hands over his mayhaw wood wand, speaking thoughts and memories that he would have rather forgotten or let his anxiety remind him of it everyday like the rest of it.

"When the duel started, I didn't think about the strategy or opponents. I instead was thinking about Amara, what she would do at that moment and what she would say," Henry admitted it was odd telling someone else what he usually kept inside of himself. His barrier was still up and emotions still hidden to make himself appear emotionless as he continued, "instead of aiding and helping her, I couldn't help but compare Astrea to Amara during the first part of the duel and when I realized it. It was to late and we lost because of me, our first duel together and we lost. I bloody messed it up because I couldn't stop thinking about what Amara would say and do during it."

Henry remembered how well the Ravenclaw's worked together, they had some friendly side whispering while casting spells at their opponents hardly ever missing. It reminded Henry of how he and Amara have been before which distracted him from the present and now was blaming himself for the loss.

"The Ravenclaw's reminded me of something in the past and I was mental that I let it blind me and so we lost aginest them," Henry spoke feeling a few strands of hair drop down over his eyes as he ran his fingers along the smooth surface of his wand, " Pericles is a great duelist and I felt bad when his spells backfired as well but if perhaps he had a different partner than we would have won." That was the truth since Henry saw his first duel and old partner a little bit in the ravenclaw girl, well the parts that didn't wasn't angry or grudge holding for no reason.

"The Ravenclaw captain, uh Dealla? Or something? Anyway there was a moment where she did something and for a moment I saw my first duel again and the mistakes I made but the win because if Amara and then I caused us to lose the duel," Henry spoke smiling softly as he continued to look down and eye his wand as he ran his fingers along its surface. It was funny how the piece of wood was necessary for dueling and can change the outcome in a match or can do so much damage with one movement. Both physical and mental.

"I have to be the worst partner bloody ever," Henry spoke gripping his wand in his left, "Astrea deserves a better partner than me, if she had another last duel I'm sure she would have won," Henry gripped his wand in his left a bit tighter and bit his bottom lip still hiding the rest of his emotions for a moment he was silent.

Henry dropped his wand by his side and brushed a few strands of hair from his eyes as he looked up to Santario before he would speak" and about the rest of the team. Before Erik left he was brilliant with Illowy, Adonis is quite powerful when he lands a spell and Opelia seems to be good at dodging, and Bridget is amazing at dodging while you are brilliant at casting." Henry found it easier to point out the positives about others and flaws concerning himself, it was something he did without thinking and probably because of his anxiety.

Henry would hold his wand by his side and give a small nod to Santario with a small smile as he spoke" thanks for your help, it was much appreciated but I'm sorry that I wasted your time. I should leave so you could practice and at least someone could improve today," the young lad nodded and started his way to his bag where he would kneel down at but not move as he pull his wand or and stared at it.

Henry pulled his bag closer toward him, ready to slip his wand inside and he ran his fingers over the smooth wood.

mayhaw wood and phoenix feather core

They young lad remembered the day he received the wand from ollivanders. He was alone which wasn't much of a surprise at least to the young teen that he tended to be alone. Henry remembered how excited he was for his first year at Hogwarts, how naive he was at what was held behind the castle walls, how nervous he was to meet others who would be attending the school along with him.

Running his hands along the piece of smooth wood, Henry remembered the man's words. The wand is fond of fast, flexible, and quick witted wizards. For a while Henry couldn't understand why the wand choose him since he didn't believe himself to process any of those traits.

Henry ran his hand along the surface of the wand and a specific phrase that the man said still haunted Henry's mind.

ideal for duels

His wand was ideal for dueling. The wand that he held in his hand was favorable got dueling. When Henry signed up for the team last year, he thought about those words and thought maybe it was a sign that he was good at something besides academics. That dueling was a sport that he was good at.

Now Henry just thought the words were a sick joke. A tease. Something to make him feel worse about himself.

Henry gently placed the wand inside his bag and closed it when he felt Santario's touch on his shoulder and words in his ear.

Henry felt himself tensed up a bit at the feeling of her touching his forearm. Having others touch him or touching someone was not a casual thing for the boy, before Hogwarts he was used to only his siblings and one or two friends touch but now at Hogwarts he was getting use to others as well. It still felt awkward to the boy no less.

Henry would turn on his knees to face Santario, aiming his gaze downward a bit, it felt a bit awkward to look at the girl as he listened to her words.

The boy took a breath, his anxiety hanging over his head as he moved his blue gaze to meet her eyes.

He would take a breath, finding it hard to come up with the right words. It would take a moment or two before the young would take another breath and softly speak" I know I shouldn't blame myself and I know most experience losing a match so there's suppose to be nothing to be ashamed about. But I can't help it, blaming myself for the loss last stage," Henry moved his gaze downward a bit at the scuffed up ground as images of last duel flashed in his mind's eyes. Voices of what he and others said sounded off so clearly in his ears. Memories of the duel that haunted him then like it did every night after that match.

Eyes still aimed down as the boy took a breath before continuing" I'm sorry that am rubbish at dueling and ruined your practice," at the end of this sentence Henry would look up to meet her look as he spoke with a hint of a smile, " you really are a brilliant duelist Santario and you spell work is bloody spectacular to observe," when he heard the words slip out from his mouth Henry would feel his face flush warm and instantly pull himself away from the girl's touch and to his feet.

As he stood he would brush his hair from his feel the straighten his shirt down a bit as he strutted, " not t..that I watch your d..duels, they just happen to be g..going on when I stop in there uh-" the young lad held his hands behind his neck before dropping them by his sides to fiddle with the ends of his shirt. Hiding most of his emotion behind a 'barrier' as the young lad still felt awkward from his words and felt himself started to panic which made him rather quickly spit out, " and your a trustworthy person Santario that's probably why I opened up to you about this but if I trusted a moment ago then I would have told you that I was a werewolf."

At hearing the sound of his voice and the words that he just said, Henry felt himself start to hyperventilate a bit.

'Your idiot'

'Good going, now she knows your a werewolf'

'Could you do anything worse?'

'Wait! You just did'

'This is why your a failure'

'Well you lost another person just now and it's your fault'

'If she didn't like you before then she wint like you now'

Henry took a step back as he started to hyperventilate unsure what to say or not really sure that he could say something at that pressing moment.

Henry identify his mistakes or improvements he should make in dueling, academics, and life in general but when it came to improving his nervous or helping cope with his anxiety then that was when the young lad failed at.

He knew what he was doing was wrong, blaming himself for last mistakes but he couldn't help not to blame himself. Especially since his mind played facts and images and dialogue within his mind that sounded like it was his fault.

Henry only nodded toward the girl, not sure what to say. Not sure if he could say anything. His throat felt dried and voiceless. Like he was suffering from a sore throat almost. So the young lad just listened, listening always came easy to the boy. It was second nature almost. To listen to another without feeling the weight of replying upon him.

Her voice in his ears again. Another small nod accompanied by a small smile as he listened, moving his eyes to meet hers. The boy wasn't focus on finding the correct words for a response. He wasn't concentrating on continuing the conversation or talking with the captain. He wasn't focused on his own words. Rather instead he was focused on listening to hers, hearing her words and concentrating on their meaning. On the advice that each sentence held.

Henry stood up mainly from nerves. Nerves and his anxiety warning him that he said the wring thing. That he didn't think before speaking. That he embarrassed himself again with his owns.

Henry would loosey cross his arms over his chest, looking at Santario again as he nodded a bit this time feeling up to speak. He listened and wanted a chance to explain why he just rapidly stood and probably looked mental doing it.

"I agree, the knowledge you get from watching other duels is one of the best ways to learn or improve your own technique. That's why I watch them," Henry replied softly offering a small smile as he felt himself relax a bit. Find peace in a chateau moment. For a moment he thought he didn't say anything embarrassing or rubbish. He thought everything was alright now and not a complete failure yet.

That was until his next few words

Words that summarized his greatest fear. Words that the boy despised at tines while at others times he feared them. Words that he thought of constantly. Words that he often worried what others would think of him if they found out. Words that just spewed from his mouth like he wasn't even thinking. Words that he just reveled to Santario Martin.

Henry heard her words in his ear and took a small gulp of hair as he closed his eyes, something he only did when he was alone or surrounded by the ones he trust and took a few breaths.

Calming his mind and body as well as his anxiety before opening them again and brushing a few strands of hair from his eyes as he softly spoke" I'm fine just my anxiety, " then he heard her next few words. They were unexpected but also soothing to hear. Henry nodded slightly, teasing up a bit when he heard her say 'your kind'.

Since he was little the boy never liked being separated from the rest because of a factor that he didn't have a control over. Those words always made him feel more like a outsider, more like he didn't belong.

"Uh thanks, just would you mind keeping it between us please? There's not a lot of people who know and I would like to keep it that way," Henry softly spoke after a few moments of silence. The boy would work back at the platform then back at Santario as he felt uncomfortable but still asked" would you like to do a proper practice duel? Or I could just leave?"

The young lad took a step back as he took a breath, a thought formed in his mind and it took him a few minutes until he looked up at the girl and took a breath before speaking" would you mind not saying you kind. I never enjoyed being considered different or separated from everyone else."