The Return of the Knights PV Aida Finished

As Aida's black wool cloak dragged through the snow the cowl of her hood shrouded her pale face. Yet, gusts of wind flicked telltale streaks of white hair into open view anyway. The white witch wasn't the kind to hide, but trudging through the deep snow the runner was cold and unable to sprint her problems out of mind. Limbs frigid and slow, slogging through the white powder, everything was too terribly slow for her. She couldn't pull her hair hard enough, go far enough, battle hard enough... the people around her, too, seemed frozen. Aida could not progress.

It wasn't just the words of that Durmstrang boy, making her question her own reality and how much of her existence was true. It was that nothing ever seemed to go anywhere with Alexander. She was surely being a bad friend, unable to help them restore their stolen memories like she had promised, but in her gut she felt even more stuck than their perpetually motionless quest. She wanted something, knowing not what, but nothing was bringing it into clarity or closer at hand. Why was it that it was only Valentin that seemed to be moving forward?

Aida had even tried to throw away her relationship with Valentin in order to make something, anything, happen towards resolving her promise to Alexander. Every day her only purpose was to train herself to be stronger for that purpose, and yet for that strength to never be used, never reach fulfilment, writhed with emptiness. She wondered if the strength she was burning for would ever mean anything, or if she would merely be swept away in an instant like an ant on a blade of grass beneath some giant's foot.

Arriving at the quidditch pitch for the first time since her mental breakdown last summer, it was as if Aida were laying down her hand of cards in an irrational gambit. In her heart, she was willing to risk her sanity if only something, anything, would move them forward. As if in a silent prayer, Aida wished that someone would scoop her off the pitch grounds and soar, fast and forward, together... but she hadn't even brought Valentin's broom. He wasn't about to show up here during an active school session, and he couldn't save her anyway. The last time they talked she became filled only with more doubt and questions. Aida needed someone else, someone who would make the ground be on the ground again, instead of that boy for whom everything was sky.

Hair whipping into her eyes from the wind, Aida didn't notice the figure of Ileen as the white witch entered the main area of the pitch. A flash from the previous Blossom Ball flew through her mind as she hissed, knowing that she would have to go without Alexander this time.

Soon interacting with: @Ileen Knight
Mentioning: @Alexander Varellion

The young girl deeply inhaled the icy air and though it caused a piercing pain in her lungs it somewhat calmed her down. It was good to focus on the one simple thing she could do: breath in and out.
She hated this feeling of being useless, powerless… not capable of actually making a difference. She had worked so hard in the past year to provide situations like the fight club to happen ever again. It seemed like she hadn't gotten far since. How was she supposed to help her friends and protect them against the evil darkness if she wasn’t even able to defend herself? How?

Still caught up in the moment, beating herself up, it took Ileen some time to notice that she wasn’t alone at the quidditch pitch anymore. Someone had chosen to join her at the place where she had thrown herself in a pit. Probably the only person she would talk to right now.
Ileen raised her forehead from the quidditch pole and looked back at the tiny person in her black coat. It didn’t take her one second to recognize her knight twin. Aida and Ileen shared a special bond. Ileen could tell who Aida was in a mass of people, knowing her kind of movement better than her own.
Ileen had ran here to hide. To stay away from people who may try to cheer her up. But in this moment, as her eyes fell on Aida, she suddenly felt some sort of relief and peace. She didn’t want to be alone. She needed to talk about it with someone who always had the right words- Someone she didn’t have to explain her feelings to. Someone who had experienced something similar. Aida.
Ileen raised her arm and waved at the pale witch, not knowing if her friend had already noticed her. “Aida!”

@Aida Mòrsgor-Ama Ellwood

In an unknowing mirror image, Aida trudged through the snow with the same pain as Ileen: feeling useless, powerless, not progressing in duelling, and unable to protect her people from a dark shadow forever out of reach… Who could Aida talk to who would really get it? Who would give her something more than the generic “keep trying!” or “do your best”? It was laughable to Aida, who could not even talk to Alexander about the problem they were both drowning in.

Aida’s instincts had always compelled her to move, to go somewhere, to walk or fly or run… She had to just go, hoping to find a way forward when she was stuck. The pitch was the last place in Hogwarts she would run to, afraid of what began here that fateful day last summer, but Aida could no longer postpone it. If she had to confront her problems face-on by coming here, then the time was now. Yet, Aida had assumed she would be alone like she had been for almost all the years of her life. Instead, just like the last time she came to the pitch when she was losing her mind, someone else was here that would make all the difference.

Looking up, the white witch’s violet eyes met Ileen’s at the same moment. Just as suddenly, Aida knew that she had been struggling alone for nothing. She didn’t have to be alone anymore. While Hogwarts was not her home, Aida’s people were. The albino’s eyes widened briefly in surprise as her gut grasped that she could have reached out to Ileen, her fellow knight, the whole time. Aida had felt so crazy that she forgot that it was not her alone against the world.

“Ileen!” breathed Aida, a smile creeping in as she welcomed an unexpected wave of relief. This was the friend that had saved her from starvation. This was the friend who was always easy to be around. With a bashful smirk, Aida waved back. She hadn’t done well reaching out to Ileen and making sure that the brunette was doing okay. At that moment, the white witch began to grasp just a little of how self-centered her obsessions had been while spiralling down into her skull. “How are you?” she whispered, ashamed. She wanted to say more, but the words stuck in her throat. Aida hoped that her friend was okay and that she hadn't tacitly abandoned Ileen by being so stuck in her own little universe.

@Ileen Knight

A soft smile curled Ileen’s lips as her friend met her gaze and greeted her back. She didn’t know what had happened but the pale girl looked thrown off as well. Of course, she didn’t want Aida to suffer, but knowing they were sharing a certain burden made it easier to accept the struggle. She didn’t feel alone anymore. She didn’t have to hide and swallow her feelings anymore. The two girls had been beyond reality. They had been in a world where ghosts, phantasy and darkness met the real world and there was nothing to hide. The strong connection Ileen felt for Aida once more showed its intensity as Ileen reached out to grab the forearms of Aida if she allowed it and squeezed her, just like a small hug.
She was worried about her friend and wanted to share her feelings that were overwhelming her as well. The pressuring urgency of that was written all over her face. Now that she had a trusted person around, it was hard to hold it in any longer.
“Eh. I don’t know. I don’t feel so good.” She breathed in with a heavy sigh and shook her head, looking at the ground in shame. “I just got smashed in the duel.” There was not only frustration in her voice, but real desperation. Her voice was strangely busy as she continued. "I know it's ridiculous, but I'm trying so hard to protect my friends, to become a healer, to become better at defending myself. And I have contributed nothing. Really nothing. I was swept off the stage without being able to really support Alexander. I feel so... useless."

It was not her pride that was hurt. There was doubt in the meaning of her life decisions.
“Sorry, I’m pouring my heart out just after you had been defeated yesterday.” Her eyes searched for Aida’s gaze and her focus returned to the other girl. “Are you okay?” She had been a little bit self-centered not to check in with her before sharing her own trouble.

@Aida Mòrsgor-Ama Ellwood

Ileen squeezed Aida’s forearms, a gesture which made the white witch think of a greeting between old warrior friends. It was cool, Aida decided, and she wanted to do it again in the future as if it were some sacred secret handshake. She listened, then, to Ileen’s woes and found that Ileen’s feelings reflected Aida’s like a voice against a canyon wall.

“I feel this pain, too. I can’t seem to win. I don’t understand, it feels like any time I win it’s a fluke and really I’m just cursed by some strange dead ghost. I’m haunted. Haunted by this promise I can’t keep. Why can’t I become the protector, the true friend that the classes are supposed to help me become? I feel more ignorant than ever, like I’m falling behind even as I run even harder… I let down my duelling partner even though I barely do anything but train.” Aida squeezed Ileen back. “We are struggling… but at least we are together in this struggle. You don’t have to be alone, if you want, I… I would be your… bastion. Yes. Bastion: a castle wall that will defend you, and where you can hide.” Aida’s eyes smiled even as her lips pressed together in silent tension. Always getting awkward looks from other children and grown-ups, Aida couldn’t help but say weird things like this. Anything but her pure truth felt like death.

“You will get there. It’s not over. You will become a grand healer and protector. Your will is true and, like the ocean against the stone, eventually the hardest things will reveal the power of your endurance.”

Mental gears spinning rapidly over the situation the two friends shared, Aida had temporarily forgotten her boy troubles. Her mental issues. Though, she never forgot the pain of her unkept promise.

“Are you okay?” asked Ileen.

With genuine surprise, Aida didn’t know what to say. Ah, yes. Her own problems.

“I… hahaha. I have other problems too. I just want to get up high somewhere but I didn’t bring my broom. Maybe I was afraid to, as if it would make Valentin come here. There aren’t any trees worth climbing either, just these stubby oaks… Maybe… I don’t know. Maybe I should tell you about it. Can we get up somewhere high? I feel a little… claustrophobic…” said Aida in the middle of the wide-open pitch.

Ileen felt the pain that Aida described. While she didn't have as many people involved, she too had sworn to protect people and yet she just felt pointless, useless, helpless. Her chest tightened even more, but at the same time her heart lightened a little. Shared pain was simply easier to bear than shouldering the burden alone. And as much as she wished that her dear friend didn't feel that way, she was grateful that she understood something that others missed.
Her brown eyes were focused intently on the violet ones of the white witch, and the words Aida directed at her were so much more helpful than any pity. Yes, they would make it.
"You too." Ileen really meant it. "You are already a huge support for me. Even though we haven't had to fight darkness yet, you've always helped me with the darkness in me. We will make it together."
And suddenly she felt much more confident. A soft smile crept onto her lips as Aida longed to leave the ground behind. They were so much alike after all. That's how she always felt. The last time, Aida had saved her and taken her away on her broom, this time it was up to Ileen to suggest a solution.

She nodded affirmatively. "Yes, let's leave all this madness behind." She nodded to the Quidditch goals that rose up into the icy sky just beside them. The young Slytherin bit her lip and looked up at it calculatingly. "I think we could manage to climb up there. I've always wanted to do that. What do you think?"

Ileen had always been a gifted climber. Even though she didn't have excessive physical strength, she had a good eye for technique and holds that still got you up more easily. She wrinkled her nose in concentration and pocketed her gloves. When she placed her fingers on the post, she felt the paralyzing cold that immediately penetrated her bones. as a test, she clutched the bar and propped herself up with her foot. It wasn't exactly elegant, but it would do. "Catch me if I fall, okay?" She smiled at Aida with flashing eyes and started to climb up.

Reducio

Ileen attempts to climb quidditch pole
strength + accuracy check have to be over 30 to be successful

strength roll: 6+3 = 9
accuracy roll: 13+11 = 24
9+24 = 33 → success

Slowly and shakily she managed to pull herself up the post and when she finally got it over with, she could barely feel her fingers. With shaky arms, she pulled herself into the ring, supported herself there and looked down at Aida. Carefully, she drew her wand. But she knew her friend would make it. Her heart pounded with the joy of the adventure. "Now you. I'll catch you!"

@Aida Mòrsgor-Ama Ellwood

To leave the madness behind was exactly what Aida needed right now, so she nodded in assent. Ready to catch Ileen, Aida positioned herself squarely below and held up her arms, just in case. When the brunette scrambled up the pole as readily as a cat taking to a tree, Aida put her arms down onto her hips and nodded yet again. She knew Ileen could do it. The only issue was that Aida had lost a lot of muscle during her period of near-constant starvation and had become a weakling, just like Valentin, who also had an eating disorder... though for different reasons. Still, as a kid she had been like a monkey scrambling all through the trees of her native Scotland and prowling over cave rocks like a leopard. The experience was there, even if her body had largely wasted away. Beginning to have doubts, she looked up at Ileen.

"Now you. I'll catch you!" said Aida’s dear friend, sincerity gleaming in dark eyes. A voice in Aida’s head asked how Ileen would catch her from all the way up there, but a swarm of other voices drowned it out. It was Ileen, so of course she would come through somehow. She was a witch, too, and could do something with magic-- her friend had already drawn her wand, even. Maybe she could even help her the rest of the way up if needed. Aida stretched out her back and eyed the pole, looking for anything resembling a better handhold. Not finding any part of the pole that was better than any other, Aida concluded she would have to overcome her physical weakness through speed. Momentum would have to carry her, along with Ileen’s confidence. Stepping back twenty paces, Aida began to run at the pole, extending her arms at the last second to try to grapple up at maximum speed.





Aida’s grip had been accurate enough through years of experience climbing around in the backwoods, but in her weakest skill, physical strength (1), she surged with divine strength as if commanded from beyond. The lightweight would make it work through tactics and speed, after all, just as she had planned. Bolting up the pole with long strides, Aida realized she had grown compared to those times as a child in the trees. How did her legs get so long, she wondered? Her hand skidded a little as she clambered onto the top edge of the pole, having not thought up where she would end up once she got to the top. Still, she was able to maintain her balance and find a perch without endangering Ileen’s position.

Breathing slightly heavier, Aida giggled. This is why she liked Ileen. She was a perfect fit.

“Yay,” chuckled the white witch. All worldly thoughts had vanished from her and, however high they actually were, Aida felt a million kilometers higher.

Result:

@Ileen Knight

The young Slytherin girl held on to the cold metal with one arm and had her wand in the other free hand. Her brown eyes were squinted in concentration, the chestnut pointed at her pale friend on the ground, ready to cast the slowing or levitation charm in case she slipped or lost grip and fell.
But of course there was no reason to worry about her skilled knight twin. Effortless, as it seemed, Aida took momentum through a short sprint and then climbed up to her. There was no need to catch her - elegant as a fairy her friend floated up to her and sat next to her in the quidditch goal.

The smile that graced the Ravenclaw's face immediately infected Ileen and she grinned back. It really felt like she had left all of the dark and negative things behind on the ground. Her heart was beating fast, the freeing feeling of being up so high with her feet dangling over emptiness getting to her head easily - but in a good way. She felt free and weightless. “Yay indeed!” She put her head back and inhaled the pungent cold air with a pleasant sigh, only to expel it again in a cloud of steam.
When she looked back at her friend, her cheeks were flushed in excitement and her eyes sparkled. “Merlin, I wanted to climb up here so often and never managed to. It feels like flying!” For a second, she let go of the goal, careful not to endanger her friend's position and balanced with no hands for a second before securing her own.

Suddenly, her facial expression turned more serious and she glanced thoughtfully in the far. “Hm. I think I want to be one with the wind and nature at some point. When everything ends and my heart stops beating, I want to be out there.” She nodded towards the lake and the mountains that were barely visible in the misk. There was no sadness or grief in her voice. Of course Ileen had thought about death several times. All of her experiences had been too dangerous to ignore the fact that she might die one day. But right now, up here in the air with her friend, it wasn’t frightening at all.
She slowly turned her head and gave Aida a soft smile. She wondered where she would go. Would she slip over to the other world? The pale witch had always been someone who was dancing between worlds. At least to Ileen. Where Aida went, the dream world and the material world touched. But that wasn’t scary. Ileen just hoped to walk along with her.

As she tried to get eye contact with those fascinating violet eyes, her smile deepend. Aida suffered so much more than she did. She had lost so much.
“I still have a late birthday present for you. I am sorry I am giving you this now but I was waiting for the right moment.” She reached to her neck and opened the necklace her mother had given her. Carefully, she balanced herself out as she used both hands to remove it and then gripped the goal again as soon as she had it in one hand.

Reducio

[font=Monotype Corsiva]Her Necklace[/font] [font=Bookman Old Style]Simple silver necklace with a tear-shaped glass pendant. It’s the only jewelry that Ileen possesses[/font]

[font=Bookman Old Style]The simple silver necklace with the tear-shaped pendant was given to Ileen as a child by her mother. Ileen had had a tough childhood. When she had been hurt for the first time by other children in school and had come home crying, her mom gave her that necklace. “It’s the tear of a phoenix, you know? They can heal all wounds – so if you have this necklace with you, all the pain will just vanish.” That had been her mother’s words. Since that day Ileen had worn the necklace and she had never cried ever since.[/font]

The small tear shaped pendant looked like it was floating beneath her hand as she handed it over to Aida, waiting for her to reach for it. “It’s the tear of a phoenix. It heals all injuries and makes the pain go away. It helped me for many years. I think you really need it more than I do.” Her eyes teared up as she glanced at the jewelry again. It was the only thing that had had meaning and value until she had come to Hogwarts. Now she had her friends. It was time to let it go. And she wanted her friend to have it to help her through all the mess around them.

@Aida Mòrsgor-Ama Ellwood

As Ileen let go as the pole as if to fly, Aida’s eyes enlarged with alarm and excitement. Aida had always liked high places and felt especially comfortable on steep mountain edges, but her instincts wanted Ileen to be safe. Still, it seemed that Ileen would be fine and Aida relaxed as the brunette grabbed back on and began to speak.

“I want to be one with the wind and nature at some point. When everything ends and my heart stops beating, I want to be out there.

Aida nodded. It was the most sensible thing she had heard in a long time. For a moment Aida’s eyes wandered the horizon as she considered the boy, Valentin, who lived as if he were an enchanted high wind himself. Aida wanted to live forever, and though the thought of death came as easily as a cloud tossing out rain in the winter, she really wanted Ileen to live forever, too.

“That sounds wonderful. Before, death, though, I think it would be sad to live a whole life not out there, with the wind and nature. Most muggles live like that, I heard-- inside little concrete rooms from birth until death. Then after they die they are put in even tinier boxes. I couldn’t stand it. You know, I have… that claustrophobia. I couldn’t do it. I would shrivel up like a dried mushroom. Scheherazade, too. We just couldn’t do it. School is already hard enough, but it has to be in little rooms, too...” Aida began to ramble because she was becoming extremely comfortable in their new situation and with her cherished friend.

Aida, having grown up in the wild Scottish Highland backcountry as a young hunter on a ranch, was no stranger to death in the animal world. Yet, she had never known a human to pass away. It was another one of their strange and great powers to Aida’s subconscious mind: humans always seemed to survive when so many animals couldn’t. It felt like a power imbalance and Aida hated it every time she got a whiff of it. Aida wondered, then, if she would die like a human, or if she would die like an animal. She had never felt like a human even though she was undeniably physically so. It was like how she never felt like a girl, never felt like a boy, and only felt like the whole concept was made-up. Aida couldn’t understand why people were so obsessed with people following human and gender rules. Whenever someone tried to force her to conform, she was reminded of a little boy she knew who pretended he was king and tried to boss the other kids around. The only way it could make sense was as some kind of weird game, but then people would get really upset about her getting dirty and climbing trees and sitting with her legs however they happened to fall. It became easiest to only wear pants in order to not upset the grown-ups and children pretending to be grown-ups. At least then they would just call her a "fakey wannabe boy," which was fine. It was like so many games that Aida didn’t understand or care about. As Aida’s mind wandered, so did her eyes, until she noticed that Ileen’s were trying to make contact. Returning the brunette’s smile, Aida stuck out her tongue a little to lighten the mood.

“I still have a late birthday present for you. I am sorry I am giving you this now but I was waiting for the right moment,” said Ileen.

Surprised, Aida’s head pulled back in exactly the way her owl would. The pair had spent enough time together that Aida had picked up a number of Scheherazade’s mannerisms, and vice versa. Ileen balanced carefully as she removed and held out the necklace that Aida had come to know as another piece of Ileen herself, so constantly she had worn it. Was it Ileen’s birthday today?, wondered Aida. It seemed like the only time people gave her things were on their own birthdays, and only since Aida had arrived at Hogwarts. No, not yet, recalled Aida. She didn’t have anything to give in return and was completely shocked at the magnitude of the gift. It was basically another part of Ileen’s body as far as Aida was concerned. Also, it was very cool. Aida, the magizoology apprentice, had always thought the phoenix tear was awesome.

“It heals all injuries and makes the pain go away. It helped me for many years. I think you really need it more than I do.”

It was unlike anything that had ever happened in Aida’s life. She didn’t know what to say. It felt the most like when Professor Griffith was giving a wounded beast medicine or bandaging it, showing a purity of care that didn’t seem to exist in the normal human world. The shock of recognition echoed on as Aida suddenly grasped that indeed, she was a deeply wounded animal. Ileen’s words rang true like a churchbell on a clear winter morning. It was like when Ileen had nursed Aida back to health from the brink of starvation. Ileen was the magizoologist that Aida longed to be, scooping up a wounded creature and returning it back to health and safety. In awe, Aida stumbled to find words.

“W-wow, you are so cool..." was the only thing she could think to say. She hadn’t even been socialized well enough to emit an automatic “thank you.” Yet, Aida’s eyes started to haze over with unexpected emotion and a plum-pit knot welled in her throat. Looking back into Ileen’s eyes, Aida gave her most honest reply again: “wow…….”

The albino stretched out her left hand to receive the gift as her other one kept her from swooning off the narrow pole. It meant that Ileen wanted Aida to heal. It meant that Aida had a reason to heal. Everything around them felt in crystal clear focus despite the tears in Aida’s eyes.

“I hope I can be like you, one day,” said Aida, clearing her eyes with the back of her hand. “You really are magical.” The words weren't even the beginning, but they could never be enough anyway. At last, with a deep gratitude rolling out like thunder, Aida found the words, “thank you. Thank you so much." She just hoped that one day she could help Ileen, just as Ileen had always been the one to save Aida from the shadows inside. No more words came, but Aida's eyes spoke lucidly: Ileen was a light of pure inspiration to her fellow knight.

@Ileen Knight