The Great Flatulence pv Kenna M Closed

Kenna was still bleary-eyed and half asleep as she shoveled eggs into her mouth that bright Saturday morning. She had never been much of a morning person, and Saturdays in particular were supposed to be for sleeping in. However, someone (some extremely rude one) had decided that bright and early on a weekend was the perfect time to set off fireworks right outside her dorm window. Even nestled in her bungalow bed-cave, buried beneath pillows and blankets galore, Kenna had been unable to recover sleep.

Grumbling and stumbling blindly, Kenna had thrown on something resembling clothes - probably a completely mismatched outfit - and trudged up to the Great Hall to get some food. Weirdly, considering the abominable noise right outside their quarters, the Hufflepuff table was fairly empty. Or was this even the Hufflepuff table? Kenna was too tired to care or know. It was empty of people and full of food, and that was all she cared about. She slumped down on the bench and piled various items that appealed to her onto her plate.

It was halfway through breakfast that she noticed a girl sitting on the other side of the table and down a few seats from her. She didn't recognize the girl, and wondered how they hadn't met yet. Maybe Kenna was at the wrong table after all. With a shrug, she prepared to return to her feast, but then noticed what the girl was staring at. A vile looking lump of... was that food? She could hardly tell. It was emanating purple smoke and seemed to be... bubbling. There was something both fascinating and grotesque about it. Kenna felt a strange urge to try it, or at least poke it.

With a mischievous grin, Kenna scooted down the bench until she was across from the girl. "Dare you to try it," she said, pointing at the hideous lump. As if it sensed their interest, the moldy blob began hissing and even let out what sounded distinctly like a belch. Kenna chortled even as she leaned back away from the thing. "I bet it turns you into something! Like... a slug!"

@Kenna MacNeil

The wizarding world is very different from the muggle world, more exciting, and of course, so much weirder. The sight of the big unidentified blob was one of the living proof of the peculiar things in this reality.
“Should i run some test?” She talked to herself, absolutely a normal thing to do as an eleven-year-old kid. Aurora tried to remember the theoretical steps that healers do when doing a physical examination on a patient.
“Just like father said, inspection, palpation, percussion, auscultation.” “Oh, and in this case, perhaps I could do inhalation and ingestion as well.”

The Ravenclaw’s mind focused on the mysterious object x to the point where she did not realize that another student scooted down the bench across from her. With a grin that screamed out mischief, a redhead said, “Dare you to try it,” which caused Aurora to jumped a little and stared annoyingly at the person in front of her.

It was rare for the brown-haired girl to find someone who just invaded her personal space amusing. She disliked most of the people who disturbed her peace of mind either when she was studying, or just having a blast, in this case, doing scientific research on the possible space junk. It was not the case with the ginger in front of her. Her remarks made Aurora slightly amused when she said the food might turn people into slugs. The image of all Hogwarts students turning into slugs for a day came to her mind vividly. Hoggy warty Hogwarts, more like sluggy warty slugwarts. What? Nevermind. A little smirked followed by a tiny chuckle that sounded like an evil cackle than an expression of fascination.

“Well, It’s gonna be interesting, isn’t it?”
Aurora grabbed a spoon and repeatedly poked the big blob with it. Her action caused it to hiss, an intense purple smoke started to flew into the air
“Why don’t you- um.. be my guinea pig for a day, carrot head?”
“I don’t mean to keep you as a pet, though haha.., yeah.”
Excitement rushed on her vein. She clapped her hand together and said,
“Okay, then! inspection, palpation, percussion, auscultation, inhalation, and ingestion, go on!” It was not clear that the smile on Aurora's face has a malicious intent or was actually an expression of genuine happiness. Could be a little bit of both.

The half-chuckle, half-cackle that emerged from the strange girl told Kenna that she had picked the right person. She clearly also found some sort of strange (and vaguely malicious) satisfaction from prodding the unknown. Which she promptly proved by quite literally prodding the noxious slab of mystery... meat? No, it didn't seem like meat. Didn't seem like anything edible, really.

Interesting, yes that was a word for it. Adventurous, ridiculous, downright insane, for sure. And yet, the idea of finding out just what the evil-looking blob did gave Kenna a certain rush of adrenaline. She matched the other girl's slightly wicked smile of sadistic anticipation. Or, apparently, masochistic, since the girl had now somehow turned Kenna's dare on its head.

"I dared you first!" she laughed, eyeing the evil burrito with some strange mix of disgust, eagerness, curiosity, and concern.

The girl then rattled off a bunch of scientific-sounding words, but Kenna was fairly convinced half of them were gibberish. Percussion? Wasn't that an instrument? Were they going to drum on the blob? Come to think of it, that did sound fun... She leaned closer to look at the oozing slab. It seemed to be many things all at once. Maybe it wouldn't even have the same effect twice. That reminded Kenna of something her Mum had once said about testing cures for magical maladies - "replication and duplication are key to confirmation."

Kenna looked back up at the other girl with a gleam of trouble in her amber eyes. "Well, if we're going to be scientific about it, we had better both try it. Only way to know if the results are the same for everyone!"

@Kenna MacNeil

Just as Aurora thought, the girl declined her offer to become her test subject on the mysterious blob x, and instead, she tried to push the Ravenclaw to taste it. Aurora put down her spoon, crossed her hand in front of her, and looked straight into the red head’s eyes. “Listen here, bushfire. I don’t plan to die young. Besides, you survived a gene mutation and came out with that shiny red hair on your head, and I think you’ll survive-“ she paused and looked down at the blob and pointed it with both of her hands, “this.” Aurora leaned back and added, “The worst scenario is you will grow a third leg.”

Since when the socially awkward girl can look straight into someone’s eye? Maybe it was the competitive vibe that the redhead gave her, but whatever that was, that student officially became those rare people who can make Aurora felt comfortable around.
Then the unknown girl suggested that both she and Aurora try it. Ah, so the redhead did not want to die alone.

“Straight to the inhalation and ingestion, are we? Fine!”
Aurora scooped a large amount of the unknown. It was weird that, in fact it was emitting purplish smoke, it did not have any strong smell came out from it. “How does it smell to you? I cannot smell a thing.” She let out a sigh with a slight of disappointment. Not that she hoped the smell would pierce through her nostrils, but she suspected for it to had a more interesting scent.

“On the count of three, one, two,-“ She ate a mouthful filled with the gross looking undetermined object, and it tasted as dreadful as it looked. She suddenly felt the urge to dig her grave. Weird sounds came out from her muffled mouth followed by the purple smoke as she struggled to swallow the ‘hopefully it was edible’ food. Eyes closed, one hand covered her mouth, and another tried to hint anyone to give her drinkable water. Not sure how the girl across her reacted, Aurora was too blinded and overwhelmed by the astronomical filthiness of the food that must not be named and served.

@Aurora Ranvier

"Hey now, one gene mutation is quite enough for me, thank you. I came by this hair the hard way!" said Kenna, crossing her arms over her chest and staring down the other girl. "Though, a third leg does sound intriguing..." she mused, rubbing her chin. "Imagine how fast you could run! And how much easier rock-climbing would be! Might be even harder to dance, though..." She tried picturing what a dance would look like with three legs, with the result that she burst out into spontaneous cackling. The girl who kept calling her rude names would probably think she'd gone mad, but Kenna didn't care.

But, the girl seemed amenable to the suggestion that they both try, and promptly scooped up a large spoonful of the mess. The blob did not get any more attractive when broken apart, and continued oozing purple smoke. Kenna caught a whiff of it and nearly choked. "URGH! It smells like fish guts left out in the sun for days! You really don't smell that?!" She leaned back away from the spoonful, covering her nose. The smell practically teleported her back home it was so familiar - the smell of the fishing boats coming in to Barra were normally pretty pungent, but on a particularly still and hot summer day it could be downright deadly.

Since the other girl had smelled nothing, she plunged fearlessly into tasting. Not wishing to be outdone, Kenna dug in, though her spoonful was a tad less ambitious than Aurora's. Trying to plug her nose as she brought it to her mouth, she waited until Aurora reached three, and then closed her eyes and shoved the disgusting goop into her mouth.

It.
...
Was.
...
DELICIOUS!

"MMMMMM! HOLLLY SHMOCK IT GUD!" Kenna mumbled through the mouthful of ambrosia. How could something that smelled so atrocious taste so divine?! It was like all her favorite flavors rolled into one delectable ball of yumminess. Bread pudding, pumpkin pasties, hot cocoa, and her mother's famous stovies each assailed Kenna's tongue in turn.

Swallowing the bite with a bit of regret, Kenna looked up to see how the other girl's taste had been. "What does yours -" Kenna trailed off as soon as she saw Aurora's reaction. It looked rather like she had swallowed an entire bottle of cinnamon. She was waving a hand around frantically as her eyes watered. Kenna guessed that she wanted something to wash it down, and quickly put the girl's goblet into her hand. "Was it... bad?" she asked, somewhat worried that she had made the poor girl suffer while getting a mouth-watering treat herself. Then again, that was the point of a dare... sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. Kenna personally loved that excitement.

@Kenna MacNeil

Her face was as red as the Gryffindor colour. Was this how it felt when death approaches? She felt something cold on her hand, a bit of relieved feeling start to come through when she realized it was a goblet filled with ‘hopefully’ water. Unfortunately, that rubbish blob took over all of the space in her mouth. So, the struggling girl just held on to the goblet while contemplated between spit out the food or swallow it. Aurora tried to push it down her stomach, only be able to stuff down half of it. The taste of the rotten fish combined with the consistency of flobberworm’s mucus made her spurted out the other half of the stomach-churning vileness out of her mouth, then she chugged all the water she could find.

“That- that was- out of this world. That should be illegal!” Aurora said it between her breath as if she was running a marathon. She wiped her watery eyes and looked up to the girl across her. Eyebrows arched upward, her jaw dropped, she stared at the redhead unblinking, not sure on what she should do next. The poor mischievous redhead was covered with the most sickening thing anyone could ever invented. Should she laugh or apologize first?

“Oh my- uh… i- I’m pretty sure there’s a spell that can help me clean you up but i don’t know how to do it yet." She pulled out her wand and pointed it on the redhead, “But I know how to lit someone on fire, if you prefer that.”
Then she started to laugh, her eyes brimmed with tears once again as her smirk turned into a muffled giggle and slowly became the loudest laughter she did ever since she arrived at Hogwarts.

Apparently, it was bad. Aurora couldn't even swallow down the mess, and ended up spurting out half her bite all over the table and Kenna. As Aurora chugged a goblet of water, Kenna winced and tried to gently wipe the half-masticated contents out of her eyes. The horrid smell on top of the fact that it was mixed with a stranger's saliva was making her close to gagging. She tried to force the urge down, remembering how delicious the noxious smelling mess had tasted.

What should be illegal, spitting food on strangers? Yes, Kenna completely agreed. She wasn't totally up to speed on social protocol, but she was pretty sure this was a big no-no. If it wasn't, it should be. Grabbing a handful of napkins she scrubbed her face as hard as she could.

"I don't think even fire could purge this smell..." she muttered into the towels. She should probably give up on trying to clean it off and just go jump in the lake. But then, she would feel bad for all the sea creatures who would have to ingest this stuff. Who knew if they would get the delicious flavor Kenna had experienced or the vile, spit-inducing taste Aurora encountered?

"Do you know that spell that shoots water out of your wand?" she asked, dropping the napkins on the table. They would probably get in trouble for flooding the Great Hall, but Kenna didn't really care anymore. She just needed to get rid of this smell before she suffocated on it. "Mum used to use that on the dogs... and they could really roll in some muck!"

@Kenna MacNeil

Who needs a detailed guide on how to socialize better? No one but this ravenclaw who just threw up on someone’s face. Well, technically, it was more spitting than throwing up, but both should be illegal. Once her laughter died down, the guilty feeling started to washed over take control of her brain.

“I- uh, i am so sorry, i didn't mean to do that on purpose.”
She played with the edge of her wand, brows furrowed together as she tried to think for a solution and said, “Well, incendio may not be a good idea. I think Hogwarts had enough with Hufflepuff getting burned.”
Then the red haired girl who was covered in, let’s just say, something evil, suggested to cast water on her, with the hope to clean her up. What was the spell? Aquarium? No, Aquaculture? Aurora didn't think she knew how to do that yet, but, as always, she had another idea to propose.

“I know how to cast snow. technically, that’s water, i could try and do it right-“ her sentence paused midway as she felt something grumbling inside her stomach. It was that weird familiar feeling when she accidentally ate something too spicy or a little unsanitary. That vile monster was dancing around, threw some party, and had a blast inside her guts, somehow making it full of air that was desperately trying to come out and scream at everyone. This definitely will not be a silent type.

“Oh no, oh no, incoming!”
The Ravenclaw hid her face with her hands as the echoey loud sound played like an orchestra in the great hall.
“BBBRRRrrrraaaaAAAAPPPPppprrRRRTTbbbssshhhhhh!”
Without even having to see the brunette’s face, it was surely red out of embarrassment. Maybe she needs to search for a new identity after all these astronomical awkwardness. That was not the last, the food of monstrosity was not done with her yet.
“FFFRRRUUMMPPTTT!”

Despite the girl's earlier coldness, she sounded genuinely contrite in her apology. Kenna shrugged, not one to take offense at what was clearly an accident. "It's just food... or, something that looks like food, anyway. It'll wash off eventually." She continued trying to wipe the mess off her face, hair, and clothes as Aurora tried to figure out the water spell. But she had to chuckle when the girl suggested snow might work. "I guess when it melts it'll wash off a bit? But it sounds very slow. Probably easier to just take a bath!"

Suddenly the girl looked extremely uncomfortable. And worried. And embarrassed. Kenna wasn't entirely sure what was going on until an enormous, trumpeting fart cascaded throughout the Great Hall. It seemed like every other pair of eyes on the giant hall turned to look at them. Kenna couldn't help it. She burst out laughing, stuffing her fist into her mouth to try to stop the flood of cackles. But it was no use. The laughter couldn't be stopped. It felt as if she'd drank an entire cauldron-full of Laughing Potion. Tears began streaming down her cheeks, leaving clean tracks in the half-masticated burrito mush that stained her face.

"That... was... the loudest fart I've ever heard!" she gasped at last, as soon as she could stop giggling for long enough to get out a few words. "At least now we know what the effects of the purple smoke are!" Kenna guffawed again but paused mid-chortle. Oh no. Did that mean one was coming for her, too? She shuffled around on the bench uncomfortably, hoping to avoid Aurora's ignominious fate. But she felt no tell-tale signs of stomach gurgling . Maybe, like with the flavor, she had somehow escaped the worst? "Maybe we should go outside..." she suggested in a whisper, as more than one person got up and fled the vicinity of the epic flatulence.