Revelations PV Haley Rose Finished

only a small cut and we'll know@Simon Kincaid

Haley could clearly see that Simon was uncomfortable with this situation and Haley's statement. She wouldn't push him into anything, but she would offer him her help at any time. And she was a thousand times more comfortable doing that with him than someone else. She knew Simon and she would always be there for him. Nothing would change for her, he would still be the Simon she knew, just with an addition. But yet he would still be him. Just as she was still her when she found out about being a Parsel. It had always been there with both of them, they just didn't know it. So they were still the same. Even if a Parselmouth is hardly comparable to a Dhampir, it was similar in terms of the situation.

"Simon, you don't have to do this, of course. But if you want to, I'll help you with it. And no, I don't think it's ridiculous. It's only natural that you want to know for sure and that's just the easiest way." She didn't want to convince Simon of this, but she wanted him to know that there was nothing wrong. After all, she wasn't offering to suck her dry, merely to test if he would react to her blood. But she also knew that she could never understand how Simon must be feeling now and therefore she did not want to presume to judge that. It was his decision and she would respect any decision he made.

Was that a request now? Did he want to do it here and now? Haley looked around in confusion for a moment. Yes, or he would change his mind. She glanced around the library for a moment, no one in sight. "Close your eyes." Haley now told him and when it seemed Simon didn't quite understand, she explained further, "So you can't see when the blood is there. That way we can be quite sure that you can um, that you can smell it and it will trigger something in you." She didn't know if trigger was the right word, but she didn't know how else to put it.

She waited until Simon had closed his eyes. Then she took a piece of paper that was lying on the table in front of them and brought the page to the tip of her index finger. It took a few tries before it worked, but after a few attempts there was a soft hiss from Haley. Okay, the first step was done. She looked at Simon again to make sure he really still had his eyes closed. She moved closer to him but waited a moment.

The tension had risen in her too and she took a deep breath before pressing her fingertip together. She had to squeeze a few times before enough blood came out of the small cut and when the blood was clearly visible and a small drop moved along her finger, she looked around one last time. When there was still no one to be seen, she moved her index finger towards Simon's face. She approached his nose and waited for a reaction. He clearly couldn't see her, but would he really notice a bit of blood running down Haley's finger right in front of his face?

I'll be there@Simon Kincaid

Haley had so many things going through her head that she couldn't sort out her thoughts. But her gaze was always fixed on Simon. Waiting for a reaction. Or no reaction. But this was the moment when they would find out if there was any truth to this bizarre thesis. Was Simon Ezra Kincaid possibly a dhampir? That was the one prize question to which they would now get the answer.

She looked at her finger with the little drop of blood running along it and she could hardly imagine that Simon really knew with his eyes closed that there was blood there. But from his reaction, Haley was sure he knew for sure. She flinched, startled, as Simon quickly moved away and left her sitting there. For a moment she sat speechless with her mouth open. She didn't know what to do, but she wanted to be there for Simon. But did he even want her near him now? Had this all perhaps been a big mistake? Had Haley pushed him into it and not considered the consequences?

She still sat quietly at the table putting her finger to her mouth to stop the blood. She slowly began to pack her things and then Simon's things into their respective bags. But it almost seemed as if she was doing this in slow motion. She was struggling with all her thoughts and she knew it wasn't about her now but she was afraid of Simon's reaction. Would he be angry with her? Would she even find him or had he already disappeared somewhere in this huge compound? But she tried to put herself in his place. She could still vaguely remember what it was like when she had found out that she was a Parselmouth, but that was nothing like Simon's situation. And the more she thought about it, the more she realised that she hardly knew anything about dhampirs. Except for what she had just read.

She threw the two bags over her shoulders, stowed the rest of the books on the shelves and picked out another one about dhampirs. She wanted to know more about them, not only because Simon was one, but also because she wanted to help him. She stowed the book in her bag and made her way out of the library, looking for Simon.

To her relief, she could see him outside the library entrance. But even though she was relieved for a moment, the next wave of tension came directly. What should she say to him? She didn't want to make it worse, which she had already done anyway. With every step she took towards Simon, she felt her heart beating harder in her chest.

Carefully, she stood next to Simon and cleared her throat briefly. She still lacked the right words, but she began to speak. But she didn't manage to look at him, the nervousness inside her and the fear of his reaction wouldn't allow it. "Simon, I'm sorry. I really am so sorry, I shouldn't have pushed you into this. I didn't have the right and I just didn't think about what could be if it worked." She paused briefly, but only short enough that Simon had no chance to say anything back. "I hope you're not too angry with me. But I'm here for you." And with those words she looked up from her hands for the first time and looked into Simon's face. "Just like you're always there for me. I will help you understand all of this. I will be by your side, even during this time." With those words, she gave him a smile and placed her hand on his shoulder. She would help him with this situation, just as he had helped her when everything was so new to her with the fact that she was a Parsel. "As long as you want me to." Haley now added to her statement, moving her hand along his arm to his hand. She didn't know how he would react, but if he would let her, she would intertwine her hand with his and take him in a hug.

You are still@Simon Kincaid

She didn't know if Simon had been listening at all and in any other situation she would have been angry about that but not in this one. This was something completely different and Haley could hardly imagine what was currently going on in Simon's mind. But no matter what it was, she wanted him to know that she was there for him. And so she stood with him in the silence outside the library, waiting for a reaction from him. For a look, a sentence, or even just a shrug. She wanted so much to be able to look into his head, but that was not possible and so she just had to be patient.

She didn't know if he had really asked the question to her or rather to himself and so she waited a moment and observed the situation. And before she could have thought about an answer, Simon started to speak. And this time they were just statements and so Haley continued to remain silent and nodded at him in agreement. Was this like coming to terms with grief? Haley wondered.

Step 1: Denial and not wanting to admit it
Step 2: Anger and other emotions bursting forth
Step 3: Rebellion and acceptance
Step 4: New self-reference

The more Haley thought about it, these steps also matched the current situation. At first Simon didn't want to admit it and thought it was impossible, when he couldn't deny it anymore many emotions came up in him and now comes the part of rebellion. He doesn't want to be that, as he said himself just now. But he was and there was nothing wrong with that. In Haley's eyes he was still the great boy with the big heart.

But usually it took longer to go through the stages of grief, and most importantly, this was not grief recovery. Still, Haley naturally wondered when the point of acceptance would occur and if she could help him through it. She wasn't sure if she should say anything else and shyly looked back and forth between her hands and Simon.

After a few silent minutes, she gathered her courage and raised her voice again, "You ARE you." She deliberately emphasized the are, looking insistently into Simon's eyes. Because he was, he was still him. "It doesn't matter dhampir or not. You are you. You've always been you and you'll always be you. It doesn't make you someone else."

It's getting late@Simon Kincaid

Simon seemed to calm down a little. Even though Haley didn't know whether her words had contributed to this, she was happy. She didn't care what the reason was, for her it was simply important that Simon was well and knew that he was good just the way he was. No matter who or what he was. He was still Simon and nothing would change that. It was clear that it would not be an easy time to explore and understand all the new things, but it would get easier and, above all, knowledge and realisation would come with time.

She listened intently to Simon's words and while she found each sentence beautiful, one stuck in her mind - Life is an adventure, dare it. How true those words were and somehow it helped to see everything from a different perspective. Life is life, fight for it. She repeated the last part and it too stayed in her thoughts.

"No you can't." she answered Simon and looked at him seriously for a moment, but gave him a smile. "And you're not supposed to." Again she reached for his hand. Simon was good as he was, in Haley's eyes he was perfect and he should never going to change anything. Even as a dhampir nothing would change, because that's what he always was, only no one knew it.

By now it was getting late and even if they skipped dinner, they would have to go to the separate common rooms soon. She felt uncomfortable with that thought, because right now she didn't want to leave him alone. She wanted to be with him and be there for him, but she couldn't change the rules. She handed him his backpack, "Do you want to go to the Great Hall for dinner?" she asked cautiously. She didn't want to ask him if he was hungry, after all they had just found out that blood would satisfy his hunger and she didn't want to stir it all up again.

I am me and you are you @Simon Kincaid

She was a little surprised that he really wanted to go to the Great Hall but for now that became their next destination. She also swung her bag over her shoulder and nodded forward with a questioning look. The two started moving and every now and then Haley glanced briefly at Simon to check that all was well. But with each glance she realised again that she would not get an answer. She didn't know what was going on inside him and she didn't want to ask him. She herself was always annoyed when people kept asking her if everything was all right, especially with things like this, which she had to sort out with herself first.

No further explanations were necessary, Haley knew exactly what Simon wanted to know. What he meant by his question, because she was already in a similar situation as he was now. And the question was more than justified, she had also asked herself it again and again. Would it get easier at some point?

She listened to his further explanation and nodded in understanding, signalling that she understood what he meant. She thought for a moment and took a deep breath before she began to speak. "Yes." She stopped for a moment and looked to him before returning her gaze to the front and continuing to speak. "But unfortunately it's not as easy as you make it out to be, to be honest. At least it was like that with me. At some point you accept it. And by that I mean really accept it, not just acknowledge it or tolerate it. You accept who and what you are and in the best case you start to love yourself that way and see it as something good and special and not something negative. But that just doesn't happen overnight. Sometimes you think you've got there but then something happens and it feels like you're back to square one and you wish it was all different. It's like a rollercoaster ride with lots of ups and downs but each time it gets easier. And at some point you reach the end."

She really hoped that her words helped. She didn't want to sugarcoat it, she wanted to be honest and share her true experiences. It didn't have to be the same for everyone across the board but that's how it had been an still is for her. "Even though I wish I could, I haven't reached the end either. But that's okay. Some roads are longer and some are shorter. Someday I will truly have arrived and accept and love myself as I am. I will appreciate my talents and qualities and accept that it is not a negative thing. And so it will be with you." She looked back at Simon and gave him a smile.

Eventually they would both get to the point where they didn't think much about it. They were doing it now, but that was still the beginning. But they only did it because it was new knowledge and new things were always interesting and had to be explored first. But eventually they would wake up in the morning and it was no longer a quirk. She would be Haley and he would be Simon. Just as they both always had been.