W.O.R.D. - Prompts, Sharing, and Feedback (OOC) Club

Ginger Crowdy wrote: 23 Mar 2021, 18:57

Rhea Miller wrote: 23 Mar 2021, 18:54 So idk what this is but yeah, sorry it got dark

Look to the skies, brush away the vines, clutch the prison bars that hold you, that keep you inside. Long to grasp at the wind till its wrath has yet thinned, listen to what they told you, you must abide. Hold yourself to your promises, honestly, wide eyed and staggered, frightened and ragged, but closing your eyes and clutching onto your dreams. The images that flood your mind like spilled paint spreading and mixing that you dance through, splashing up against the walls as you skid through the puddle of a million different shades.

Look to the skies as you're wrenched backwards from your daydream, open your mouth to scream, but you're muffled by the thin arms that slink around you, blink and they've found you, and you're drowning in the seething vines. Struggle and writhe, retrieve all your knives, cut through the ropes that bind you. Watch the sun circle the sky again and again and you cannot move for the life of you.

Look to the skies from your prison, and you feel yourself give in, and sink down into the bed of grass. A tunnel of darkness blocks the sunlight, and you are flooded with memories, of bare feet running through the woods, of summertime watermelons and sweet juice slicked up the sides of your mouth in a sugary smile, of clutching the rough branches of trees and pulling yourself to the top to feel the sunlight's embrace. And you know, you know, you know that this is a rough patch, and you cannot quite stand, and you miss when you ran, wild and free, through the bright morning. And you know, you know that it will be hard to pull away from the dark, to hang onto the stars, to keep your eye on the part that you know you need to feel. And you know you must do this.

Look to the skies, reach up, up, strain your arms, and pull apart the clouds to allow the sunlight to burn away the vines. Grow bigger than your prison and brush it aside. Fill your mind with just the sunlight.

Look to the skies and feel satisfied.

WOW, pretty nice thing!!! it, even if it's dark,

Ashley Coulson wrote: 23 Mar 2021, 19:07

@Rhea Miller I . . . . wow. I don't even know what to say. That was just amazing.

@Rhea Miller yeah, writing is a great way to help with that. just dumping all your feelings on a page can do wonders.

This is the end.

This is the end, yet still only the beginning - the very beginning of the beginning; the very end of the end. Time is endless, and it has only just begun.

Surely, if time is endless, then time does not exist...

These are the thoughts that cloud my brain day and night; I open my mouth to sing, but no sound comes out - I am dwarfed by the power of my own mind, locked within itself. You could say I am mad, though I prefer alternative. Not that there’s anyone around to call me alternative, not that there ever will be, ever, until the end of time.
Time, why? Why do all my thoughts inevitably end with time? Why is time even a concept I am considering; why is it even a thought on my mind if I am destined to stay here, trapped in my own eternity, forever? Sometimes I hear whispers carried along by the wind; sometimes they float by my lifelong cell. As each door closes, another door opens, they decree, voices of hope audible even in their resounding, year-long echoes. They do not have time to think of time. They panic, they stress; they cry out in mock desperation that their life is so unfair while I sit timelessly alone and watch them live. Doors open all around them, dancing, flashing bright colours, yet they are too blind even to notice their presence. Leaving me in my own world of fantasy, driven mad by the unreachable prospect of those doors.
They are right; as each door closes, another door opens, but nobody watches as they do so. Nobody takes the time to look; it’s all experience, while for me it’s all look and no experience and there’s nothing I can do.
I doubt any of them have ever seen me, yet I know them all by name; I know every aspect of their lives - I would know if any of them wanted to be known as alternative. Yet there is nothing that separates them from me, nothing but these bars - thin cords of wire in reality, but leagues wide in my alternative reality. A reality that is just as real, but different from theirs.

This, this is why I am not mad, this is why I am alternative and nothing more. Perspective. They cannot see it, but all I can do is see it. If anything, they are the mad ones.

@Gabriella Haworth omg, that is incredible. The narrator's voice, the way that they spiral deeper into the insanity of their own mind... and then reduce the depth of the whole thing to the sort of offhand word "alternative." Maybe that's not what you were intending, and I'm sorry if I interpreted it wrong But truly, it's amazing. The use of common expressions like the one with the door closing and the other opening, but with the twist, is super clever. Also, the whole philosophical/existential thing is very thought provoking. Also also I recently remembered that I owe you a reply and I am so incredibly sorry for how long it has taken me

@Ashley Coulson Ugh, I absolutely loved yours! The letter format was super creative, and the story was so invigorating. It's extremely impressive how much character development you were able to fit into just a few stanzas. It also makes you wonder about Everett; who is he (or she, or they) to the narrator, and why is he/she/they being written to? (Those were intended as rhetorical questions, you don't have to answer lol)

@Bailey Glade This one was so amazing! The exclamations really showcase the narrator's distress in an almost tangible way. Their pleading just breaks my heart.

@Anja Murtaja The imagery in this one was very enjoyable. I especially liked a lot of the lines in the first stanza: the cage bars slicing up the sky is a really negative image, kind of making it clear that the narrator resents the confinement. Also the "slivers of blue" and "glimmers of reflected light" make the fact that they have limited space in the cage really clear.

@Ginger Crowdy This one was really interesting! I liked that stanza that repeated. It was a creative way to structure the poem. I also liked the dramatic storytelling and the main character.

@Lucia Fox It's really cool how every stanza is unique; they all have different contents and even formats. The part where you say it's not one of capture, not one of happiness, ect. is an interesting perspective. The whole poem is just really pleasant to read.

If I missed anyone please let me know! Also I'm sorry if this is totally incoherent, I'm very sleep deprived.

@Rhea Miller Thank you! I don't exactly know what was going on in my piece. It just came to me, ya know? And yes, @Gabriella Haworth your piece was SO good! I totally agree with Rhea's feedback. Everyone, you all took this prompt to the next level! Awesome work.

@Eliza Corrids don't say you hate it! I think it's good. The rhyming scheme, especially in the first stanza, is great. Also, luv the lines 'below the purple/ hazy skies.'

@Eliza Corrids Congrats on 900 messages! Also omg, how did you even do that? Alphabetizing and rhyming?! I-

Seriously, it is such a pretty poem. "Purple hazy skies" is a really nice image (as Ashley has just stated). I also liked "Carelessly wandering/closed my eyes."