29 Sep 2020, 15:23
Things I Cannot Say
September 29, 2020
It's crazy to think nearly an entire month has gone by since Second Year began. It's been....different. It's been an adjustment. I don't see as much of Rose Moon as I'd like these days but it's nice getting into a dorm being closer to my friends. I've met a lot of First Years that are awesome and I signed up for the house Dueling Club. We'll see if I get in. I mean...I'll see if I get in. You sadly won't.
If you're wondering how I am, I'd like to lie and say I'm okay. I SEEM okay, is that good? I feel like that's good enough for right now. Truth is I'm still as devastated as the day you told me we were now but a moment in the past. Time might heal all wounds but this one is going to take a Hell of a long time. I'm not sure there even is that much time in my lifetime, in our planet's lifespan, in the universe.
I'm trying.
The other day I found some of the decks of Tarot cards my father had given me as presents in the past. I learned how to do limited things with them. I should use them on my current situation and missing you but I'm afraid what they might tell me so instead I decided to offer my services to the students of Hogwarts for the month of October. With Halloween at the end of the month, it just seemed like a night fun thing to do. Maybe I'll get to think more about my own emotions and future while helping them sort through theirs? Maybe it'll help give me something to do rather than to think of you every waking moment of the day.
Maybe when I'm through, I'll give my own reading a try. I'll write down the results when I do.
It's crazy to think nearly an entire month has gone by since Second Year began. It's been....different. It's been an adjustment. I don't see as much of Rose Moon as I'd like these days but it's nice getting into a dorm being closer to my friends. I've met a lot of First Years that are awesome and I signed up for the house Dueling Club. We'll see if I get in. I mean...I'll see if I get in. You sadly won't.
If you're wondering how I am, I'd like to lie and say I'm okay. I SEEM okay, is that good? I feel like that's good enough for right now. Truth is I'm still as devastated as the day you told me we were now but a moment in the past. Time might heal all wounds but this one is going to take a Hell of a long time. I'm not sure there even is that much time in my lifetime, in our planet's lifespan, in the universe.
I'm trying.
The other day I found some of the decks of Tarot cards my father had given me as presents in the past. I learned how to do limited things with them. I should use them on my current situation and missing you but I'm afraid what they might tell me so instead I decided to offer my services to the students of Hogwarts for the month of October. With Halloween at the end of the month, it just seemed like a night fun thing to do. Maybe I'll get to think more about my own emotions and future while helping them sort through theirs? Maybe it'll help give me something to do rather than to think of you every waking moment of the day.
Maybe when I'm through, I'll give my own reading a try. I'll write down the results when I do.
Let your confidence shine, pretty girl.
4 Oct 2020, 03:34
Things I Cannot Say
October 3, 2020
Do you remember our night in the Astronomy Tower? We had just finished pulling our little prank of putting the wiggly eyes on the trophies and replacing others with crazy things like a goat trophy. We escaped from the prefect coming down the corridors and didn't want our night to end so we found ourselves taking to the Astronomy Tower.
The view was amazing.
The evening was amazing. We talked for HOURS.
I came back to my dormitory just before everyone was waking up to start their day and one of the other Hufflepuff girls gave me a lecture about being out all night with a boy. She said she'd turn me in for not going to class because I couldn't, I was just too tired. She ended up not turning me in though and even if she had, I wouldn't have cared. That evening was one that would make getting detention worth it. That evening was everything.
I discovered your love of astronomy that evening. The facts you could tell me about the stars and planets above were astonishing but it was more than just that. You spoke about them with such feeling that one couldn't help but be amazed.
I've been wanting to go back to the Astronomy Tower at night just to see the stars in the way we did that evening but I can't bring myself to relive that without you. Still, I'm drawn to the night sky. I find myself looking out a window and staring up to the moon hoping that maybe, just maybe, you're looking up at it too and sometimes I feel that we're not so far apart.
That's the crazy thing about this all. Maybe you're close by. Maybe you're half a world away. Maybe something happened and you're not even among this life's journey together with me.
I don't know.
I don't think I'll ever know...
Do you remember our night in the Astronomy Tower? We had just finished pulling our little prank of putting the wiggly eyes on the trophies and replacing others with crazy things like a goat trophy. We escaped from the prefect coming down the corridors and didn't want our night to end so we found ourselves taking to the Astronomy Tower.
The view was amazing.
The evening was amazing. We talked for HOURS.
I came back to my dormitory just before everyone was waking up to start their day and one of the other Hufflepuff girls gave me a lecture about being out all night with a boy. She said she'd turn me in for not going to class because I couldn't, I was just too tired. She ended up not turning me in though and even if she had, I wouldn't have cared. That evening was one that would make getting detention worth it. That evening was everything.
I discovered your love of astronomy that evening. The facts you could tell me about the stars and planets above were astonishing but it was more than just that. You spoke about them with such feeling that one couldn't help but be amazed.
I've been wanting to go back to the Astronomy Tower at night just to see the stars in the way we did that evening but I can't bring myself to relive that without you. Still, I'm drawn to the night sky. I find myself looking out a window and staring up to the moon hoping that maybe, just maybe, you're looking up at it too and sometimes I feel that we're not so far apart.
That's the crazy thing about this all. Maybe you're close by. Maybe you're half a world away. Maybe something happened and you're not even among this life's journey together with me.
I don't know.
I don't think I'll ever know...
Let your confidence shine, pretty girl.
17 Oct 2020, 22:28
Things I Cannot Say
October 16, 2020.
You've been on my mind a lot lately - perhaps even all the time.
Tonight is the Fall Ball and as mentioned before I'm going with Logan. I'm not giving him my best. I'm not giving my friends my best. I'm not giving my classes my best.
I need to stop writing in here. It isn't as if you're able to read it anyway.
So, these will be my last words; my last entry.
I hope we meet again. I hope someday I know what became of you if we don't. I hope that you're happy, you're healthy, you're safe, and you're successful. I hope that if you should ever be able to come back that you do come back to me because we had this bond that will never be stronger.
You are my soul mate, Clive. No time will change that. No one will replace you.
But you were right. I deserve more than a ghost boyfriend.
Tonight I will put my last folded badger into the Common Room stating that I miss you and that will always and forever be truth.
But this book has to come to an end. Tonight, I'll try and begin to live life without you.
Love always,
Alina Rosier.
You've been on my mind a lot lately - perhaps even all the time.
Tonight is the Fall Ball and as mentioned before I'm going with Logan. I'm not giving him my best. I'm not giving my friends my best. I'm not giving my classes my best.
I need to stop writing in here. It isn't as if you're able to read it anyway.
So, these will be my last words; my last entry.
I hope we meet again. I hope someday I know what became of you if we don't. I hope that you're happy, you're healthy, you're safe, and you're successful. I hope that if you should ever be able to come back that you do come back to me because we had this bond that will never be stronger.
You are my soul mate, Clive. No time will change that. No one will replace you.
But you were right. I deserve more than a ghost boyfriend.
Tonight I will put my last folded badger into the Common Room stating that I miss you and that will always and forever be truth.
But this book has to come to an end. Tonight, I'll try and begin to live life without you.
Love always,
Alina Rosier.
Let your confidence shine, pretty girl.