Forget Yourself...Because They All Do Solo

Monday 7 september 2020
Nearing the hour after curfew
Rock by the lake...

Summer. The sun was still lingering. More than usual. With each year the summervibes and temperature decided to stay longer than the year before. It was worrying. Yet some people in the world ignored these signs of massive future destruction.

Today wasn't about that.

Not entirely.

The summer... was awful.

Nico was sitting on the rock where she had met many new faces. With one she faught over ownership of this piece of natural material, with another she had something one would call a peptalk. The gingers eyes were gloomy. Her ice blue eyes didn't have their usual happy shimmer. They didn't allow much light to reflect into her windows to the soul. Dressed fully black: black jeans, a turtle neck sweater clinging tightly onto her form, laced knee high leather boots... Her make-up was rough and not fully fixed. The only good thing about this summer was that she had told her parents everything.

Everything.

She was afraid they would have been angry with her, but they weren't. They loved her and fully supported her when she got home as she fully explaining what had caused her so much sorrow. Her father was the one most affected by the pain. Her mother had lifted her hair from her neck, noticing the black veins; the spider attack. She had thrown her badge of Prefect on the floor, a clattering bang echoeing against the empty kitchen walls. Nico had screamed how she had tried her best. How she wanted to be good. How she wanted to just be happy. How she was bullied...
Crying on the cold marble floor, cradled in the strong yet slim arms of her dhampir father. Her mother gently stroked her strawberry red hair, telling her how they loved her. Nico felt so safe...

And now she was back. Back in this hellhole. She thought she was ready. But her hands were still shaking. It had stopped her from drawing. What could she do to get rid of this awful feeling of selfdisgust? Of... feeling unsafe...? Of...

Her hands clung tightly onto her lowerarms, squeezing tightly. Her long hair swayed in the wind, a few strands sticking onto her nose. From behind that curtain, red tears rolled down marble cheeks. So. Alone. Trembling and shaking, her eyes caught a glimps of a rock next to her. A rather sharp rock. Her eyes looked away again, as the wind blew her hair more and more. It became annoying. It suffocated her. She felt as if at any moment, she would be wrapped in red silk, no longer existing, or breathing.

With a low snarl, her pale hand gripped onto the rock and she started to cut her hair. It was wild. There was no control. Barely, atleast. Sobbing in frustration, the young flourishing child cut her once long hair short, into a bob. Only a few long locks remained, resting onto her shoulders and chest.
With a shriek she finally tossed the rock into the lake, as she threw herself onto her feet. Bottled up emotions dripping into existence.

Remains of her hair floated into the wind, blowing over the lake and bit by bit, got engulfed by the restless waves. She cried out as the crescent moon was her only witness. The witness of her loneliness that she had no clue how to get rid of. Was this temporary? Would she... always feel this way?

... She didn't know.

A sting in her hand brought her mind back to reality. It was bleeding. Must've been because of the rock. Empty eyes stared at the fine line of red, sliding down her palm, foiling her black sleeve. Black was good... Black doesn't show red... This was fine. With a gentle flick of her tongue, she collected the biggest pool of her own blood, carefully swallowing it. This didn't really do her much, except make her feel... needy.

Shaking off the deep sensation, the young dhampir looked over the horizon one last time, before slowely returning to the castle. It was time for another restless night...