Fin Discrete Delving PV Ileen

Hexcode= #3c78d8

Ileen’s reassuring smile dissuaded any anxieties the wispy scholar held onto from confessing to his ambition. Or rather the admittance of his proposed trajectory. Hopefully her brown eyes read his lips correctly and understood the cryptic words he spoke plainly “I’m not against becoming something else.”

Sylvain had no desire to fix himself into any one category of life just yet. Potions was still plenty viable a career path, and with a whole summer ahead of him he might as well read up on the subject. Being a potionmaker, or a healer was just as likely an outcome as auror given the time he still owed to his education, but she hadn’t asked what he was interested in learning. She’d asked what jobs interested him.

Regardless of his own feelings, there was a healthy amount of sensibility to Miss Knight’s advice. No matter how careful and closed-minded the sage wisdom sounded to Sylvain, trusting other people without regard for what they might do with the knowledge he shared was foolish. This prospect was one he loathed to consider as a possibility, but admittedly had to confront as an eventuality.

The only issue Sylvain held with the witch’s advice was that it seemed to betray more about her inability to trust people than it did to encourage him to open up to her. While it would appear outwardly kind, She’d asked him a question only to tell him what to do with his feelings and inadvertently she told him to keep them to himself. Sylvain thought that was fair, he wouldn’t dig too hard to understand her feelings either. They weren’t too hard to read anyways.

Under the impression that true knowledge was reading and comprehending the feelings that drove others to seek or give advice, Sylvain was left wondering what feelings had caused Ileen to distrust others yet speak as though the definition of “bad” were murkier than her conscience. Did she think him foolish for trusting people? Was she a fool for trusting him with this knowledge? Syl hoped time would tell them both no.

The bare minimum Sylvain had come to expect from adults was that everyone was initially trusted to take care of themselves, and that included children their age. Everything past asking for someone for help was a leap of faith based on knowing someone friendly or at least responsible, and whether or not they earned the trust given to them was subjective. Trust was a big word, but an easy concept. Even owls could be trusted to watch mice, or dogs to watch cats. It was people who abused trust. “I trust you, as you haven’t given me sufficient cause not to.” It wasn’t like he told her where the spare key to his home was, he had only just shared his feelings in confidence.

“Bad people are bad people Ileen.” Sylvain said mincing no words, and wasting no time in arriving at a stoic judgement. “If we stop to discuss what makes people good or bad, we’re going to miss what makes them people altogether.” The wizard trusted that she would understand he wasn’t choosing to believe in Good versus Evil. Rather that he understood how people sometimes chose to be bad, and occasionally they became irredeemably so, like Voldemort had once done. “It’s a choice, you can choose to be good instead of being bad.”

Curious as to who Ileen would choose to be, Sylvain reached out again, extending his trust and betraying his interests. “What do you choose, Ileen? What will you do for a living?” Syl learned a lot about people when they didn’t get what they wanted from him, but he often learned even more when they did.

@Ileen Knight

The young brunette Slytherin thoughtfully tilted her head and frowned as he pointed out, that trust was something that can be given to you if you have no reason not to. For her, it was the other way around. Ileen did not trust others on principle until they proved themselves worthy - the lesson of her past was still deeply rooted in her: You never know where someone is setting a trap or is trying to get rid of you. She had learned that the hard way and now she was very careful – one of the reasons she was barely socializing with anyone at Hogwarts but a handful of people.
Well, she didn’t want to do the same thing to Sylvain so she gave him a kind smile, but the sadness of theses thoughts was reflected in her brown eyes. “Thank you then. I appreciate that and I will not betray your trust.” And she was serious. Trust wasn’t a topic to joke about.

As the conversation turned to the subject of good and evil, a shadow slid across the face of the young girl and she had the familiar feeling of claws digging into her chest. Even though it had been the main reason why she had come here in the first place, to find out if here parents were evil and what they had done during their time at Hogwarts, she was surprised how emotional involved she was. She hadn’t discussed the topic of choosing sides since her conversation with Professor Vernatis, who had said something similar and the Slytherin had tried to life up to this thought. But sometimes she was still struggling with the idea of everyone making their own name and identity.
Her brown eyes were thoughtfully fixed on the table as she took the words of the Ravenclaw in. The old pain and doubt were only noticeable because of the slight frown on her forehead. “Are you sure? Do we really have a choice? Or are there others making us the bad people? And what, if you change your mind?” She had an opinion about that since she had talked and thought about it over and over again, but she wasn’t sure yet. Wasn’t there a darkness chasing them down, coming for all of them? And some of them would probably not be able to escape without help even if they want to. She looked back at the Ravenclaw and there was no smile on her face as she looked him in the eyes. “What if the darkness is faster than you?” She wasn’t sure if her words made any sense to someone who didn’t share her thoughts, but as an eleven-year-old she just burst out with the question that was haunting her for three years.

A soft smile appeared on her lips for a glimpse before it vanished again. “I will become a healer." It wasn’t just a goal, there was absolutely no room for failure. She would become a healer, no discussion necessary. "I already worked a lot for it and tried to learn how to do it.” She shrugged and stroke a strand of her hair from her brown eyes before looking down on her folded hands resting in her lap. “That’s my way to run from the darkness.”

Hexcode= #3c78d8

Sylvain appreciated the honest, if not sad, tone to her promise. It was reassuring to have one's word when it came to the matter of trust. If they betrayed that promise, then trust could be righteously withdrawn, and that was exactly how promises proved intent. You either keep your promises or you don't. "I won't hold it against you if you can't honor that promise either." Sometimes small breaches of trust made life easier to live. Ultimately, it felt like Ileen would hold herself accountable, and that made him comfortable enough not to dwell on the topic.

Shaking his head in doubt, Sylvain became worried for Ileen. She had clearly been through plenty and needed someone who was a stable friend, if not a good example of how to be trustworthy. Good and Evil were make believe, things that didn't exist, and she spoke as though she had been made to believe she was evil. Or at least she seemed quite convinced that she could become evil without a choice to refuse to be good. Redemption was only for those who'd done wrong, and Sylvain thought it quite impossible for the girl in front of him to have done something so wrong she could be labeled evil. Maybe there was more to learn then?

"A noble goal indeed," Sylvain uttered upon her confession to realizing a path and manifesting it. "Surely you'll do well if you apply yourself then." Still, he felt as though he should speak up and say something to persuade her that hope wasn't lost, and that the good that came from her intentions to help others wasn't lost on him. He feared however that intentions truly didn't matter much in the long run. You still had to act good to be perceived as such. "Who cares if other people think you're good or not." Sylvain said as cold as his warm heart found possible. "You know you mean well and that's all that matters to me."

With that, Sylvain smiled a slight thin smile the corner of his lip curled a bit. "Hey, do you want to go outside and get some fresh air?" The library had grown quiet and he was no longer interested in the pursuit of text on the tome's pages. "I was thinking of heading down to the lake to dip my toes in."

Ileen appreciated the honesty and seriousness with which Sylvain met her promise and a slight smile curled her lips. Her dark brown eyes were fixed on the young boy and a rare warmth was reflected in them – not that Ileen was a cold person, not at all. She just was used to hide it from everyone to protect herself. Letting people getting close to you was dangerous, but she already had made this step four times this year. Maybe it was time for a fifth try.
“No worries, I never break promises. I have sworn to…” She stopped as she realized that her mouth was running away with her thoughts. It was more of a reflex than a conscious decision, a habit she had learned over the past few years. But then she blinked briefly and shook her head inside. She had decided to trust Sylvain, so he deserved her openness. “I promised Professor Vernatis, and even more important, myself to do what seems good and right to me. I will try to live up to that.” Her smile deepened and painted little dimples on her cheeks. Now, the truth had been told – her truth and her religion. Banal words, which weighted more for her than all the gold in the world.

Another warm smile was given to the Ravenclaw boy as he said the most valuable words to her. “Thank you. That’s very kind of you to say. I really am trying to be good.” The young girl felt lighter and tilted her head as she looked back at Sylvain. “Same goes for you by the way. It’s good to know that there are some people around who actually have working morals and brains.” There was a twinkle in her brown eyes to show that she was only half serious insulting their fellow students – even though she had made experiences which spoke for a high idiocy ratio at this school in general and at Slytherin in particular.
“And yes – going outside sound great. It’s rather hot today and I am already dying.” The young girl rubbed herself embarrassed with her hand on her neck where her hair curled because of the heat and dampness. “I planned to go for a swim before. Let’s see.” She grabbed her bag and stood up, a friendly smile on her face. Getting out and distracted sounded like a good idea. She really needed to leave this issue behind for at least one day. She should take a break.