26 Aug 2020, 03:50
Too Much
September 14, after classes end for the day
The sound of students talking filled the air as Jess walked along one of the many corridors of the second floor, her bag hoisted over her shoulder and her mind whirling. She had just finished a charms class, and a particularly difficult one at that. Jess had started the lesson eager to learn and practice whatever new spell it would be that they were going to learn that day, but for some reason, it just hadn't worked. No matter how many times she had waved her wand and muttered, spit out, or yelled the incantation, the charm simply hadn't been properly cast. In fact, nothing had even happened to the feather that Jess was supposed to be lifting up into the air- nothing, not even a ruffle or a twitch. She had left the class feeling frustrated and helplessly lost, angry at herself for not being able to cast the spell right. Now, as she walked, she couldn't help but think back to that class and the way her wand had seemed like nothing more than a skinny twig in her hand as she waved it around fruitlessly trying and failing to make the feather float, feeling rather like a child playing pretend at being a fairy during a Halloween party.
What if you can never cast another spell again? whispered a nasty little voice in her ear. Jess told it stop, but it seemed that just like her wand, her thoughts were simply another thing that she was not in control of. What if you're the worst witch this school has ever seen? What if... you're not even a witch at all? Her step faltering, Jess tried to reason with the voice, telling it that she had been accepted to Hogwarts, after all, and that she had successfully cast some spells before. That did mean she was a witch.... right?
So what? That proves nothing! the voice hissed at her. You don't know that YOU were the one that cast those spells... you were surrounded by witches and wizards, REAL ones; any one of them could have been the one that cast the spell you think you did. Who are you to think you can do magic, anyways? You're not a witch. You're not SPECIAL. You're just a little girl stuck somewhere you don't belong, somewhere where YOU SHOULDN'T BE.
That's... that's not true! Jess tried to tell the voice, but it sounded stupid, even to her own ears. But I- I always knew I could do magic- that time in the daisy field, and everything mom and dad said- But even as she thought these things, Jess couldn't help but feel as if the voice was right, and she didn't belong in Hogwarts. What if... what if I really am just ordinary? I can't- I shouldn't be here!
Too caught up in her thoughts to be watching where she was going, Jess looked up abruptly into the face of a handsome, laughing boy as she accidentally bumped into him. "I- I'm sorry-" she gasped, but he was already walking away from her, still laughing, as if she had never even been there at all. As if she was invisible. Suddenly, the noise and press of young, eager, and magical- really, magical- bodies around her was too much, and Jess felt like she couldn't breath.
Ducking quickly into an empty classroom on her left side, hardly aware of where she was going, Jess pushed the door closed behind her, unaware that it had been left open a crack. She crossed the room and pressed her forehead against the cold glass of the window there, looking up and staring unseeingly at the green grounds spread out beyond the glass. Just calm down, she told herself. Of course you're a witch, otherwise you wouldn't be here... But still, Jess found herself longing to be out of this strange castle, away from all of these kids who were all so interesting and beautiful and powerful and actually, truly capable of doing magic. I just want to go home... why can't I just go back to the way things were?
New York. New York was home, with its quiet neighborhoods and bustling city only a short train ride away. New York, with her neighbors and the kids in her elementary school, who she could play with without fearing that they could all do something that she just wasn't good enough to be able to do too. New York, where she was always happy and everything was always great... not here, and not back in Bellingham, either.
"I just want to go back..." Jess whispered as a single tear fell from her eye and slowly made its way down her cheek, along her throat, and behind the collar of her shirt.
Last edited by Jess Malters on 28 Aug 2020, 19:19, edited 1 time in total.
"Promises are sacred and hugs can save the world."
Stats: Stamina: 4 | Evasion: 7 | Strength: 4 | Wisdom: 8 | ArcPower: 5 | Accuracy: 7 | Calming Presence
1st Year Hex Code: #BF8040 | 2nd Year Hex Code: #c68458
28 Aug 2020, 01:35
Too Much
Kaegan left his Charms classroom, a satisfied smirk on his face. He hoisted his leather satchel higher on his shoulder, the smug expression not faltering as he strode down the hall. The soft, willowy tip of a white feather stuck at an angle out of one of his pockets, reminding him of his triumph every time he looked down. Top of the class- again. Kaegan's typically snide mood felt a good deal lighter as he walked towards the common room, one hand reaching out to push aside the hanging tapestry of the Fat Lady.
Before he could manage to get out the unnecessarily complicated password, however, a giggling girl stopped in front of him, twirling a strand of hair around one finger. Kaegan raised one eyebrow, looking down at her and then to her group of friends, who were standing in a clump to the side and half-suppressing their laughter. "I saw you casting those spells in class. You did really well," the girl teased coyly, her eyes shining.
"Well, did you expect anything else?" Kaegean said, flashing her a complacent grin. The girl and her group of friends let out high-pitched titters, some of them even blushing a pale shade of pink. The girl leaned closer and rested one hand on his shoulder. "Do you think you could help us out? We were struggling a little in class."
Kaegan's pleasant expression fell away immediately, and he let out a short, arrogant laugh. "I hope you didn't really think this was going to work," he said cooly, shrugging off her hand in one motion. The girl stepped back a little, her eyes darting over to her friends, who had all fallen silent. "Uh- uh, I-" she stammered out.
"Ineptitude isn't a crime, so you're free to go." Kaegan gave her an unfriendly smirk as she began to laugh awkwardly, before turning red and spinning around to rejoin her friends. When the girl had reached the group, she glanced over her shoulder to look at him one more time. Kaegan waved his fingers in a satiric 'goodbye' towards the bunch, and they moved quickly off. Forgetting momentarily about the common room, the boy let out a short laugh and began to walk in the opposite direction, stopping soon after as a girl he recognized from his Charms class crashed into his front.
Caught off guard, Kaegan continued to move on, only half realizing that he'd just been collided with when the girl's stuttering apology reached his ears a few moments later after he had already passed. He came to a halt momentarily, the abrupt stop just violent enough to send his feather floating out of his pocket and down to the ground. Any thoughts of the girl were replaced with the memory of the Charms homework looming tomorrow, and he started to walk briskly to the nearest classroom, pushing open the door and setting his satchel on a desk.
The sound of a soft whisper in the corner by the window alerted Kaegan to someone else's presence. He scowled, resenting the lack of privacy, and turned to snap at the other student, when he realized it was the girl who had bumped into him. She was leaning up against one of the windows, and it looked like she was... crying? Thank God, for the first time it's a girl that isn't in a fit of giggles, Kaegan thought, the relief of not having to deal with another one like that outweighing his contempt at not having the room to himself.
Turning back to his bag, Kaegan began to unpack his feather and wand, deciding that this girl seemed like the least of all evils that could otherwise be in the room. His demeanor, though slightly irked by the encounter with the group in the hallway, was still well-pleased from his performance in class, and without looking up at the girl he said sarcastically:
"Don't worry, the first forty years of childhood are always the hardest."
Last edited by Kaegan Chase on 21 Sep 2020, 03:01, edited 1 time in total.
I don't think I'm better than you, I know I am.
28 Aug 2020, 19:18
Too Much
Jess could feel the tear making its way down her cheek, but she didn't raise a hand to wipe it away. She leaned her forehead harder against the glass, oblivious to the sounds of someone entering the classroom behind her. In an attempt to calm herself down, Jess took a deep, drawn-out breath, but her thoughts kept coming. Thoughts that told her that she wasn't really a witch, that she wasn't good enough to be at Hogwarts, that she wasn't enough.
"Don't worry, the first forty years of childhood are always the hardest."
Jess whirled around with a startled gasp as a sarcastic voice called out behind her. To her horror, she realized that someone had walked in on her crying. And not just anyone, too, this intruder just had to be the boy she had walked into in the hallway earlier. Now, getting a proper look at him, Jess realized that she had actually seen him before. Specifically- she was pretty sure he was one of the kids who had actually lifted the feather perfectly in her charms class just a couple of minutes ago. Perfect. The boy who walked in on her just happened to be a living, walking reminder of everything Jess wasn't- capable, powerful, and a functioning wix.
Realizing that she was staring at the boy, Jess hastily turned away in an attempt to hide her tears and wiped furiously at her face with her sleeve. She was sure the boy already thought she was a complete fool after her failed Charms lesson and the way she had literally walked right into him in the hall, and she didn't need him thinking she was emotionally unstable too. That is- if he even remembered who she was. From the way he had blown right past her in the hall, Jess didn't think the boy actually recognized her at all. Not that that thought actually gave the girl any comfort, as she hated feeling insignificant. Plus, the boy would be sure to remember her now, after seeing her cry, right? Shit.
"Yeah, I guess," siad the Hufflepuff shakily, turning back to face the boy. Noting the unpacked satchel on the table near him, Jess made to move closer to the door. "Sorry, I'll, uh, I'll leave you alone to do your work..."
"Don't worry, the first forty years of childhood are always the hardest."
Jess whirled around with a startled gasp as a sarcastic voice called out behind her. To her horror, she realized that someone had walked in on her crying. And not just anyone, too, this intruder just had to be the boy she had walked into in the hallway earlier. Now, getting a proper look at him, Jess realized that she had actually seen him before. Specifically- she was pretty sure he was one of the kids who had actually lifted the feather perfectly in her charms class just a couple of minutes ago. Perfect. The boy who walked in on her just happened to be a living, walking reminder of everything Jess wasn't- capable, powerful, and a functioning wix.
Realizing that she was staring at the boy, Jess hastily turned away in an attempt to hide her tears and wiped furiously at her face with her sleeve. She was sure the boy already thought she was a complete fool after her failed Charms lesson and the way she had literally walked right into him in the hall, and she didn't need him thinking she was emotionally unstable too. That is- if he even remembered who she was. From the way he had blown right past her in the hall, Jess didn't think the boy actually recognized her at all. Not that that thought actually gave the girl any comfort, as she hated feeling insignificant. Plus, the boy would be sure to remember her now, after seeing her cry, right? Shit.
"Yeah, I guess," siad the Hufflepuff shakily, turning back to face the boy. Noting the unpacked satchel on the table near him, Jess made to move closer to the door. "Sorry, I'll, uh, I'll leave you alone to do your work..."
@Kaegan Chase
"Promises are sacred and hugs can save the world."
Stats: Stamina: 4 | Evasion: 7 | Strength: 4 | Wisdom: 8 | ArcPower: 5 | Accuracy: 7 | Calming Presence
1st Year Hex Code: #BF8040 | 2nd Year Hex Code: #c68458
31 Aug 2020, 01:10
Too Much
Kaegan watched as the girl quickly wiped at her face in an attempt to conceal her tears. She spoke to him in an unsteady voice while she turned to go, leaving the boy mildly surprised. For some reason, he felt different towards her, less disdainful than he would have been to the rest of the student body. Perhaps because he was comparing her to the girls in the hall, and she wasn't acting like a total fool around him, or because she seemed smarter and more sensible than most of the others he'd met so far?
Then again, it could just be because the girl was willingly leaving the room, allowing him the quiet he had been looking for.
Still, however, Kaegan wanted to make her feel better.
"No, it's alright. Don't trouble yourself with leaving," he said stiffly, focusing an indifferent stare at the papers on his desk. Ah. This would be harder than he thought. He glanced scrutinizingly at the girl out of the corner of his eye, wondering what could possibly be making her so upset. Just bumping into him in the hallways couldn't have sent her into a whirlwind of tears, could it? Maybe he should rethink his notions of her being sensible.
She didn't seem physically injured, and he hadn't seen anyone near her in the halls, so he doubted she was being bullied by another person- a mischievous poltergeist, maybe? Then, all of a sudden, it hit him as to why she'd looked oddly familiar when he'd entered the room, besides the passing glimpse during their collision.
Yes, he could vaguely remember her from Charms class, but only that she was one of the few that hadn't been able to lift their feather, though he'd heard her say the incantation a multitude of times, in several different ways. That was probably the cause for her dejection- Kaegan had yet to be unable to perform a spell, but he tried to convince himself that he would feel poorly in a similar fashion if that were the case.
The boy muttered an incantation under his breath, flicking his wand upwards with a self-satisfied smile as his feather drifted lazily to the ceiling of the classroom. The student sitting beside him let out a quiet curse, forgetting their own wand to watch Kaegan's. "Nicely done, Mr. Chase," the professor said, looking up at the floating plume. "I see someone's been doing their homework. I expect you all to be this adept by classes next week." The teacher beamed broadly at the boy, not catching the snide undertone when Kaegan mirrored the grin.
The feather still lay on the desk, seemingly limp now that it was no longer in flight.
"If you're really struggling with Charms, I wouldn't mind helping you," Kaegan said distantly, still not looking up at her. If it was this hard to be aloof, he found it difficult to imagine attempting to be genuinely nice.
"It's not quite that difficult, once you know the proper technique. In class you weren't doing any of-" Kaegan cut himself off, scowling. "What I mean is, I'm sure you'll be able to get the hang of it after a while. And you're not impeding on any of my plans- my favorite party trick is not going," the boy said with an ironic smile.
He was pretty sure this was a mistake.
I don't think I'm better than you, I know I am.