Greatest Fears PV Eyre Reeves Finished

Interacting with @Rose Moon

Little did Rose know, Eyre was laying nearby at the edge of the lake, his arms tucked underneath his head. He wasn't asleep, but simply meditating with his eyes closed. He was trying to wrap his mind around the facts that he'd learned about himself a few weeks ago, and it was absolutely maddening. He wanted to kick, to scream, to do something, but instead he decided that he needed time to think to himself. To try to piece together the foreign parts of himself and unify them into what Eyre knew to be true about himself. But, after his life was turned upside down, he wasn't even sure if he knew what was true and what was fake. Nothing really seemed certain anymore.

As he laid there, he mumbled his mantra to himself.

"My name is Eyre Reeves."

"I am a Parselmouth."

"I'm not a pureblood."

"I'm a half-blood."

"My parents adopted me."

"I was given up for adoption by my real mom."

"Ian Grey is my father."

"This is who I am, now."

The mantra was hard for him to bear, but it was all he could do to try to normalize his thoughts. The horrific feeling of having to forge his new identity put a damper on every activity he'd participated in. He hadn't been able to fall into his normal routine because of it. The past week had been packed with so many lessons that he hardly even found time for himself, let alone his friends or his girlfriend. He'd seen them in little glimpses and had sat with Rose at the Great Hall during the Sorting Ceremony, but other than that, they were all preoccupied with their own routines of settling in to school that he felt completely and utterly alone.

Alone.

He choked down a sob. He'd been crying a lot, too. Almost too much, but he assumed that this was normal for someone who was going through a hard time. He sniffled to himself, before hearing a faint noise coming from the right of him. He lifted his head to see a girl who was also crying by the lake, her red hair obscuring her face a bit.

Oh, dear.

That was his girlfriend.

Eyre lifted himself up. Rose never cried, so he knew that it must've been bad. He slowly made his way towards her, apprehensively.

"Rose?"

He was hesitant of sitting next to her in case she really didn't want company, after what he'd learned during his fight with Ana. He crouched down to meet her eye-to-eye. They'd only ever held hands before, so he hoped he wasn't crossing any boundaries as he gently tucked Rose's curls behind her ear so he could see her face. It felt right, though, his heart fluttering nervously in his chest.

"What's wrong? Can I sit with you?"

Rose almost punched Eyre, she was so startled when he came up to her. But, thankfully, she didn't punch him, she just jumped, because it was Eyre. His eyes looked worn out, like they had been working way too hard. She only got one good look at him before everything blurred quite a bit. She was so deep in shock, she couldn't see straight.
Her boyfriend was so gentle in the way he asked her if she was okay. Rose nodded, wiping her face with her nails to get rid the tears that were still aching to come rushing out. "Oh, yeah, I'm..."
Fine.
But that last word didn't come out.
Rose was about to brush her feelings away, to ask Eyre what was up with him, if he was okay. It was no use lying to Eyre now, especially with something of this magnitude. He was her boyfriend, after all. And plus, how was she going to cover up her crying?
She shook her head, and finished the sentence, "Expelled." She swallowed, choking on the tears that battered against her. Saying it out loud made it feel real. She didn't look Eyre in the eye. How could he be feeling about this?
A million explanations ran through her mind.
She started at the beginning, "I was... I was walking around looking for my dad's old hoodie, since my brother hid it. I went into this empty classroom and... and for some reason Solomon Lear was in this cupboard, closet, I guess?" She furrowed her brow, realizing that really didn't make sense, now that she said it. "He said that the Sorting Hat changed its mind- that I didn't belong in Gryffindor. That I didn't belong in any house... or Hogwarts at all. Then my mom..."
Don't.
Cry.
"My mom came out and said I wasn't welcome home anymore. And... I just ran. I..."
She let her head fall into her knees in shame, the tears once again breaking loose.

Interacting with @Rose Moon

Rose looked like a deer in the headlights when he finally acknowledged her. He was worried that he'd be met with anger, so he flinched a bit, but she seemed to settle into his presence. He sat by her, just listening to her speak as he gingerly put a hand on her shoulder to comfort her. The news of her expulsion was as confusing to him as it was to her.

"...What?" He almost laughed a bit at the ridiculousness of it, catching himself off guard. "How are you expelled? You've done nothing wrong." He thought that even the idea of Rose getting detention or being ratted out by a professor would be ludicrous, let alone her expulsion.

Then, she began to explain what was happening. Apparently she'd been looking around in a cupboard in one of the rooms when the Headmaster and her mom suddenly appeared, telling her that she was expelled and that she was also disowned. It started to make sense to him, now. His older sisters had told him about a particular assignment that they had in their DADA class at one point, how it made them face their deepest fears.

At this realization, he gave her shoulder a tiny squeeze of reassurance.

"Hey... You know that there are cupboards with boggarts in them in Defense against the Dark Arts classrooms, right?" Eyre said to her softly with a chuckle. "...You probably just went snooping around in the wrong place, and then one came out and tried to scare you with visions of Solomon Lear + your mum ruining your life. There is nothing to worry about." He assured her. "Besides, don't you think that they'd have come chasing after you by now? Or you'd be... I dunno, called to Lear's office instead?" The image of Solomon Lear popping out of a cabinet somewhere ready to expel anyone in his immediate vicinity was strange, even for the likes of him.

"Oh. You think so?"
Boggart. It was just a boggart.
Well, duh. Rose had heard about boggarts, she had read about them. And Eyre pointed out how it was very strange for Solomon Lear and her mom to be in a closet together. It was true, it would have made much more sense for her to be called to his office than told in a random closet.
The realization that she still had a home spread over her like warm water, followed by relief. And Rose let out a sigh of relief, putting her head in her hands in embarrassment. "Oh gosh, you're right," she said, wiping her wet eyes with her fingertips and blushing a bright red. "I can't believe I didn't realize it was a boggart, I just... I guess I was in shock or something."
And Rose thought she was smart.
'It must have just been the shock,' she reassured herself.
Eyre's hand was still on Rose's shoulder, probably there to comfort her. He was very careful, as if Rose was going to explode or get mad at him for trying to help her- who would do that? Rose's legs, which were curled up to her chest before, straightened and crossed themselves.
Rose took a some very deep breaths. In the first one, the shaking in her breath was very obvious, but by every breath it shook less and less until her breathing was near smooth.
While she was doing this, she said, "Thank you," Rose put her hand on Eyre's, which was still on her shoulder, and turned her head to look her boyfriend in the eye. "Without you, I would probably be packing my bags and making a fool of myself..." 'Or maybe just letting eveyone in the entire school see the fool I really am...'
Rose pictured herself packing, and taking her trunk down with everyone asking her what was happening, why she was leaving.
"I'm such a mess," she murmured
While she was looking into his blue eyes, she turned her head on its side a little. Eyre seemed...
Sad.
He seemed sad.
In a blink, the gratitude in her emerald eyes was replaced by gentle concern. "Are you okay?" she asked him in turn, wondering if maybe they were both going to be a mess.

Reducio

OOC: I am literally squealing right now, this is so adorable...

Interacting with @Rose Moon

Eyre lifted his hand from her shoulder, taking hers with it and intertwining their fingers together. The affection and close contact was something that he'd needed, after his brain had been practically deprived of serotonin for the past couple weeks.

"Of course..." His response was genuine, but tired. Eyre tried his best to be fully invested in her emotions, but he himself was trying to keep up with own self-preservation. He had absolutely no energy left, and to see her upset made him even more frazzled because he wanted to be there for her.

Still, he kept it together. He didn't need to share anything with her, especially when she was in distress. It would only make it worse... and who knows if it would put a damper on her day, too.

Rose of course, being the considerate and kind person that she was, asked him if he was okay. She could see right through him. Damn this wonderful, smart girl. he thought to himself, Of course she's able to find me out.

"...Yeah, I'm fine." He lied with a smile. He will admit, he was really bad at lying to people that he cared about, especially to Rose. Often, his true feelings would seep through whether he wanted them to or not. Looking directly into her worrisome eyes wasn't helping him keep himself together, so he glanced away from her as if he was transfixed by the mountains and trees in the distance.

"Just really tired, is all. The beds in the second year dorm aren't very comfortable." At least that was partially true, he did miss his mattress at home. But, of course, he wasn't getting at the complete picture. Being untruthful to his girlfriend felt worse than he'd anticipated. Deep down, he hoped that she'd confront him about it.

OOC: I know I love these cuties so much!!

Rose took in one last deep breath. Somewhere, deep down, there was a voice that told her she was wrong- that it wasn't a boggart, that it really was her mom and Solomon Lear, saying she didn't belong anywhere. Rose had always loved the feeling of belonging, and their voices echoed in the back of her mind.
Rose squeezed Eyre's hand for just a split-second. when he said that he was fine. Rose gave him a skeptical look that said that she really didn't believe him. She didn't believe his excuse that he was just tired, either. Rose had used that excuse too many times when she didn't want her mom to worry about her.
Just being tired didn't weigh down on you like that, like there was something on your mind, like there was a problem, a predicament, a realization that you had to come to terms with.
Maybe she was wrong, but Rose knew to the core of her being that Eyre had something on his mind.
But why wouldn't he tell her?
The realization spread over her- maybe it was because he didn't want to add something even worse to her day.
"I know what it feels like, needing to tell someone something but not wanting to weigh them down," she murmured. It was too true. Unless people asked her twice if she was okay, she would say she was okay. She could get through the day by herself, but on the worst ones, just barely. This was a little secret she hadn't told anyone, anyone at all, and she flashed a little sliver of it to Eyre- she trusted him. It was so much deeper than just that sentence. Pick a subject, almost any subject, and Rose could talk for hours with you about it. She had so many complicated opinions- it was just that nobody took the time to listen to her.
She knew what it was like to hold it all in.
She placed her other hand in the crook of Eyre's elbow and rubbed his arm a little bit. "I don't want to force you to tell me if you don't want to, but please, don't do that to yourself."

Interacting with @Rose Moon

Rose grabbed his attention when she said that she knew what it felt like to not want to be a burden. His eyes flickered over to hers, swallowing hard when they began to bore into him.

He sighed, leaning a bit closer as if he was in ear range of someone else.

"Y'know how I told you that I've always... sort of... felt out of touch with my family?" He started. It was really hard keeping eye contact with her, his gaze flickering between each emerald eye as he started to unveil his problems. "...Well... I dunno. I've always felt like maybe it was just in my head. Like I was being stupid, or shallow, or ungrateful. Then I learned that I'm not even a part of the family at all."

It still felt absurd whenever he said it. He was still in denial that this was his life, his circumstances. It all felt like something out of a bad novel. He dropped his stare and took both of her hands in his, looking down and fiddling around with them softly as he began to speak again, trying to remain calm.

"Someone sent some letters in the post. A package of them, from my real dad. He's been trying to get a hold of my parents for the entire year. I think that's why they never wrote me back, cause they stopped checking after a while to ignore him." Even though he felt he had no more tears to spare, one weaseled itself into his eye and dripped onto one of their clasped hands. Eyre wiped it away with the sleeve of his robe.

"Err.. S-Sorry...I'm trying to keep it together, I promise..." He sniffled, looking back up at her again. His eyes were starting to turn red as they usually did when he was getting emotional. Even crying was starting to lose it's appeal. "...I tried talking with Ana about it and she just absolutely despises me, now, for being so privileged and living my 'charmed life'. Which I don't really get, because how could this be charming at all? Being lied to, by the people who raised you and were supposed to love you. And all while being completely ignorant to the fact that neither of them really wanted you. You were just there to fill in a requirement."

The panic set in. He knew that he was able to trust Rose, but he still felt uncertain after all he'd been through. "...Don't tell anyone, please? Hearing it from everyone else would be too much..." He pleaded with her.

Rose's eyes were gentle and concerned as he started to talk. She nodded her head while he talked, hanging on every word.
Rose was about to murmur that she doubted Eyre could ever be stupid or shallow or ungrateful when he revealed the very core of the problem to her.
And her expression turned to pure shock as he said he was adopted. "What?"
Rose had always hated the thought of being adopted. It had followed her all her life, being the only redhead child in her family. Many many times it was suggested or even assumed she was adopted, and she hated it with all her being. She secretly, silently held grudges against those people for assuming something like that. How dare they?!
But her mom had always assured her she was not adopted, and dismissed those assumptions as absolutely crazy.
Eyre took her other hand as well and Rose let him fiddle with them, listening to every word he said while watching their hands, their fingers.
Eyre apologized for one tear falling out of his eye. "Don't be," she murmured. "People don't cry because they're weak, they cry because they've been strong for too long." she knew there were some exceptions to that, like people who cried to get what they wanted. Rose expected Eyre had kept it together in front of people all day, maybe since he found out.
"Mm..." Rose looked up into his blue eyes. "If anyone deserves this, it's definitely not you. I can't even imagine... And it always, always hurts more when you're going through it alone."
What kind of friend even was this Ana, leaving her friend when he needed her? Ridiculing him when he needed support.
Rose moved her hand to one of his wrists, and let one finger glide right over his skin, feeling his steady pulse right in his vein.
Rose made sure that Eyre was looking her in the eye, using the gentlest hand to tilt his head up if he ducked it down.
"Your family... they don't deserve you anyway."
Rose's gaze went back down to their hands, and after a couple seconds of silence, she could feel his pulse quicken as he pleaded her not to tell anyone.
Rose gave him the smallest smile as she joked, "Just how I told everyone that you were a Parselmouth?" she glanced up at him, the smile still there. "Just kidding. Your secret is safe with me."
Eyre seemed to relax a little and she moved her hand away from his wrist, letting him fiddle with her hands.
"So I guess this explains the Parseltounge?" she asked. She did have many questions about what this meant for him, the depth of it all. "And your dad, your real dad, what did he want in his letters? Are you going to live with him?"

Interacting with @Rose Moon

The very thought of Rose spreading rumors was enough for him to let out a genuine chuckle.

"...Yeah, sure. It makes sense that you, of all people, would do that..." He said, smiling at her as he took her hands in his again. His fiddling ceased after that, his body feeling more at ease after he told her about his horrible secret. Although he was still very much upset, it felt like a weight had been lifted. Like he could breathe a little better.

"...Yeah. At least a little bit. My mum is apparently a loyal pureblood, so go figure. They like to keep their lines squeaky clean, and having a half-blood mongrel like me isn't exactly the best image that they want for their family." He mumbled. Pureblood politics were always so weird to him. Eyre himself had heard of rumors of families doing this before on the basis of status. He had no idea that he'd was one of them, all along.

"My dad? I dunno. He'd apparently had been looking for some time, since my mum had basically dropped off the face of the earth when she became pregnant with me. Then, one of my mum's friends eventually came forward and told him where I was, and let him send letters with her owl." Eyre explained, looking up at her. "I reckon he feels cheated. He wasn't able to be a part of my life at all, and it wasn't even his fault. Makes me furious just thinking about it..." He laughed again, his eyes glistening with tears. Thankfully, he was able to keep them down this time around.

"...Thing is, I don't know what kind of person he is. Like, what if he's not as caring as I think he is? What if-" He began to ramble, his volume increasing, before he stopped himself. "...What if he's just like my family? What if he gets what he wants, and then casts me aside? I can't do that again, Rose." Neglect was something that hit deep for him. He'd spent his entire life having to parent himself, as his mum and dad were completely sidetracked with what his sisters were doing. If he were to try to meet his dad, he'd be letting another parental figure into his life that would potentially let him down.

"...What do you think?" Eyre asked her. "...If you were in my shoes, what would you do? Because I know that you're far more rational than I am, right now..." He silently hoped that his girlfriend would tell him to go for it, to cast his worries aside and go headfirst into the void. But, he trusted her to be honest with him. She wasn't going to let him get into anything stupid on her watch.