Rifts or Mending? PV Tharaldson Finished

Erik just had to get out of the castle. He had enough of dusty old tomes and books. He had enough of those stone cold walls that seemed to enclose on him and he had especially enough of people. The Slytherin just had to get out. Therefor he had set out after his meal to the grounds, unlike most of his peers who went to their common rooms. Pulling his hoodie over his head he just walked with his hands buried deep inside his pockets. The werewolf had to clear his head and put his ducks back in a row. It wasn't like he did not like people in general. Well, actually it was, but that was besides the point. His peers and friends were not the reason he was in desperate need for solitute. Oh, no. It was far worse. The Norwegian boy needed time to think. To think about his parents and why they hadn't written him back. It just baffled him.

After a couple of minutes Erik looked around him. No one was in sight. Good. Content with himself he slowed down his hasty paste and came to a halt later on. His right hand rummaged in his pocket as he pulled out the last letter he had received from his parents. It pained him every time as he read the words. Desperately searching for a clue, for a reason why they hadn't written him back. The letter was short and to the point. Nothing indicated why they would be mad on him or not even the smallest hint of what had caused the sudden stop of correspondance. Tears seemed to well up in his eyes. Why? Why have you stopped writing me? Is it me? Are you guys that ashamed of me?

Erik got ripped out of his train of thought as a very distinct smell filled his nostrels. Vanilla almond to be exact. There was only one person in this world he could associate this scent with. Santario. As fast as he could he crumbled the precious letter of his parents inside his fist before shoving it roughly back in his pocket. He followed up with rubbing the back of his hand over his eyes so any evidence of emotions and especially tears was gone.

As the werewolf wanted to take his leave he heard her yelling at him. When he turned around she was a lot closer then he had anticipated. She started to berate him as a spur of words left her mouth. Seemingly without taking a breath. Erik noticed that Santario wasn't slowing down her pace even when she came close to him. As she tried to shove him he nimbly dodged the assault, but it seemed to not have been necessary as she had slipped. Immediately he had forgotten her bad mood. She was his friend and it was only natural that he would help her. The Slytherin offered his hand at her. San! Are you okay? Are you hurt?

One minute she was in a fit of rage, and the next moment she was lying face down her hands catching her with her nose hovering just above the blades of green. His voice ringing with concern as he asked her if she was okay and even the offered hand made her madder. “I’m fine.” San hissed as she pushed herself up into a squat position before standing up completely ignoring his offered hand. The grass left its green stain on her palms and the knees of her robes as if to mock her farther.

“Answer me. With all of your flounced charm, the least you can do is show me some respect and give me an answer.” The girl that stood before him held a convincing façade of anger, but really what she felt was betrayal and pain. She wanted to cry but refused to allow the hot tears flow. If his goal had been to hurt her, she wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of watching her pain. Erik knew about the last person who hurt her and exactly what it took for her to get over that and start to trust again. Only to turn around and do that very same thing even if the circumstances were different.

“I let you in! I told you almost everything. I let you get close. I’m so stupid. I told you my parents died, and I KEPT YOUR STUPID SECRET FROM EVERYONE ELSE! I STOPPED THEM FROM KNOWING!” Her voice rose in a high pitched crescendo of unaddressed emotions as her tiny hands clenched into fists. Her nails starting to bite into the skin of her palms. “You abandoned and betrayed me. WHY?! What did I ever do to you? Then to see you throwing your disgusting charm to every other person that be blessed enough to be graced by the great Tharaldson.” She spit the words out like they were acid on her tongue. She was trying to hurt him with her words; she wanted him to feel the pain she felt right now.

The fall didn't do her any good. Let alone him offering to help her. So much was clear as she ignored his reached out hand and pushed herself back on her feet to only continue to yell at him further. Erik heard her word for word. I-... I-..., the boy stammered, but to be completely honest, he did not have a magical excuse that would take away her pain. That much was clear to him. Oh, yes of course she was mad at him. Furious even, but Erik knew her far better than he knew himself. At this point anger had the upper hand, but she didn't fool him. Underneath she was hurting. A lot by the looks of it. It made him sick. He couldn't look at her.

For a minute there Erik was going to reply to her with a joke, something along the lines of hey didn't see you there. Of course you wouldn't have seen her. She fell to the ground you jackass., was all he thought. He shook his head no this was not the time nor the place for a light hello, let alone for him to make a joke. It would only enrage her more. The werewolf hadn't failed to notice that she had balled her hands into fists. One wrong word could set her off all over again. Hence why she had tried to push him earlier.

Erik scratched his throat. San... I know you're mad at me. You have every right to be. I behaved poorly. Not like a friend should behave at all. You need to understand this though. I... The light haired boy was trying to toughen himself up and took a breath before he continued. I was scared. You have no idea how I felt after I knew you discovered the truth about me. The REAL me. This... This would change everything. That's why I avoided you. I couldn't bear the thought of losing my friend. Not only that, but my best friend. I know you covered me up and I'm grateful for that. Truly. I-... I just panicked. I'm not trying to make excuses here. I panicked and I ran. I had so many scenario's in my head that we talked about what I am, and none of them ended well. You have to believe me when I tell you that I never meant to hurt you. Nor that I wanted to make you feel like I had abandoned or betrayed you. I care for you, San. That was the last thing I wanted to do to you after you were going through so much already. I'm so sorry for all of this. I can't apologise enough. I get why you're mad. You have every right to be. So come on. Give it a go. Let it out of your system I deserve it. Give it your best shot. Silently he added, Please don't punch my beautiful face. With that Erik closed his eyes and spread his arms. Ready to receive a punch. He wouldn't try to dodge. This was only right. This is what he deserved for hurting his friend.

The boy in front of her stammered it would seem that she had put him in place to make him falter. It was always good to have the high ground in situations like this, and he proved that she had it, even if she had tumbled to the ground in the beginning. Her eyes narrowed at him as he started to speak because if he hadn’t known that she was angry, Erik was more of an idiot than he already was.

She would listen to his explanation in silence without interrupting him. She started taking deep, slow breaths as she listened, arching a brow but otherwise allowing her face to rest in a passive expression. When Erik told her to step up and give it her best shot, she didn’t hesitate. She took a step forward and slapped him across the face. As her palm connected with his cheek, a crack would ring out across the air, leaving both her palm and no doubt his cheek red. She pressed her palm to her thigh as the slap hurt her hand, probably as much as it had hurt his face. These dumb boys were making her do things she had never done before. Tackle one of them to the ground, break an arm, fall off a broom acquiring a concussion, and slap someone in the face. Boys…

She couldn’t lie; it felt good to get out some of the pent-up anger that she held. Even if the slap hurt her too. When she finally started speaking, her voice would be back to its usual soft nature, but her eyebrow remained raised in an unamused fashion. “Well, how am I supposed to understand or have an idea if you don’t tell me? How does this change anything? I assume you’ve been a werewolf the entire time I’ve known you, right? So how does this make you any different than the person I’ve always known you to be? It doesn’t; it’s as simple as that. You are still the Erik I have always known, and you are no different just because of acquired knowledge. Or are you all of a sudden going to be a different person now?” He clearly forgot the person that she was. She didn’t care about blood purity despite being pureblood, she didn’t care about someone’s status with wealth despite being wealthy, and she didn’t play into the house prejudice’s despite being in the most prejudice house in the school.

The slap rung his ears, if not made his face feel numb and painful with a lasting burning, tingling sentation that lingered where her hand had met his cheeck. That was the only thing that remained. Well, that and a very red cheek. Erik's eyes went wide with shock. She hit me. She actually hit me. The Norwegian couldn't believe it. If it hadn't been for that painful sensation that remained on his cheek, much like a brandmark, he wouldn't have believed her capable of something like this.

When she spoke up again Erik couldn't help, but feel berated again. It seemed like the slap hadn't taken away any of the tension at all between them. Instead it might have even antagonised her further. At least that was how it came across to the werewolf. San wasn't the girl he had met. She had evolved. She was rougher around the edges. Inwardly Erik was still deciding wether or not this suited her more. To be completely fair the light haired boy couldn't dispute anything she had said. In fact it warmed his heart and he was flustered by it. A whole weight seemed to drop off of his shoulders. I-... I'm not going to be any different then I was and am. But are you just messing with me or are you serious? It doesn't matter to you? Like at all? I don't know what I expected really. I thought you would have been disappointed or even disgusted by the truth about... Well me.

Erik was correct, the girl that stood before him pressing her palm to her thigh as the sting of the slap resonated through her hand, was not the girl he had met at the beginning of the year. There was a hardness to her sapphire eyes that didn’t use to be there, a wall that protected her from everyone else that she now kept at arm’s length, and something just burning under the skin that was carefully guarded.

She watched him with a stern gaze and an arched brow unamused by the entire situation. While the slap had allowed some of her anger out, it couldn’t cure all of it. As far as she was concerned, he betrayed her when she needed him most, that wasn’t easy to get over, and it would take time to heal from this. “You really don’t know me at all, do you?” Her silvery voice a shade of disappointment as she shook her head slightly. “Do you think I would be dumb enough to slap a werewolf across the face if I was afraid of you? I wouldn’t have bothered confronting you if I was disgusted by you, I would have let our friendship continue to die. You’re an idiot for hurting me the way you did. For abandoning me when I needed you the most.” She was not pulling any punches here, laying it out for what she felt it was. Initially, she had told three people about the death of her parents, and every single one magically stopped being around after that. If there was one thing her conversation with Thomas had done, it had allowed her to remind herself of her own self-worth, and she wasn’t going to accept being treated any less than what she was, which to say was better than most.

@Erik Tharaldson

Erik was taking a back. Not just by Santario's sudden outburst or the way she was looking at him with that look that could kill and that arched brow. No, not at all really. It was her voice. The pain that she felt. The words she spoke. It was just heartbreaking. He was more and more ashamed of his actions and the way he had so poorly behaved to her. She had been a true friend. When he had needed her, she had been there. He didn't even had to ask. San was just there. Always. But he hadn't. When she had needed him in her hour of need, he had bailed on her. Far worse, actually. He had disgraced not only himself, but their friendship. Erik had taken it for granted and now he might have permanently damaged it on top. It was all his fault and he knew it now. The thought that he would lose her because he had been such a bad friend was almost too much to bear. How could I have been such a fool?! Why am I such an idiot?! Why couldn't I have seen it?!, the werewolf started to hit his head with his hands. Why did I have to be so self centered? Why couldn't I just have looked past my shame and have helped her...

After a while Erik looked back up to San. You're right. It is my fault, but you have to understand I was afraid. Afraid of losing you, my closest friend. That's why I tried to shield you from myself. The real me that is... Whilst doing that I-... Erik's voice broke and he stopped for a minute to just breath and clear his throat before he resumed. Whilst I did that I pushed you away and had built this wall around me. To protect myself from hurting. I didn't stop to think what it would do to you. What I was doing to you and that is utterly and without a shadow of a doubt my fault. I let our friendship die out... I see now that I've hurt you without a cause. I'm truly sorry for what happened to you, San. I wish I could just magically fix it to how we were before, but I can't. That's my greatest regret. I'm sorry. I don't know much, but I know now that I messed up and have treated you badly. I'm sorry for abandoning you when you needed me most, for hurting you and not giving you the benefit of the doubt. I have so many regrets... You did not deserve such a bad friend. The werewolf looked sincerely at her and hoped his words would somehow reach her. He regretted everything. Without him knowing he had put their friendship on the line and he might have squandered it. It was his sincere hope he could somehow fix it and that Santario would give him a second chance, but time would tell.

San did not like it when Erik started to hit his own head, it bothered her, but she made no move to stop him. A small part of her understood where he came from, and another part of her didn't care and still saw Erik's behavior as unacceptable. She would push that part of her down and do something she hadn’t done yet. San decided she would give him a second chance, after all, how would she feel if she had been discriminated against as a werewolf? “We all have lapses in judgment. We can work on rebuilding trust. Will it take time? Sure, but I think given that time, we can be okay again.”

She reached out, slowly trying to show she wasn’t going to slap him again, to his shoulder, and if allowed, she would rest a hand on his shoulder and give him a soft smile regardless. “We’re tough cookies you and I. We can get through anything as long as we know we have someone in our corner to have our back. I’ll be there for you if you should ever need me for anything. Even if it’s to save you from making dumb decisions.” She chuckled softly, trying to show the light-hearted nature of the comment at the end. Though if he screwed up again, she would have no issue cutting the ties and walking away without a glance back. “It seems like you might have something on your mind, though? Is there anything you want to talk about, or would you rather I leave you to your thoughts? Or do you want to get something to eat? I think we still have time for lunch.” If there was one thing that she had learned within the past month, you sometimes had to swallow your pride and make the first move.

His friend's voice and words soothed him. In a couple of words she had stopped his heart from aching. As she spoke, she had rested her hand on his shoulder. When he looked up at this icy blue eyes mere minutes ago could've smited him into oblivion were now soft and gentle. A testimony of the person she was. Despite her very own hurting, she still managed to push that aside to comfort her friend. San was incredible. She truly was and he was so lucky, despite of everything he had put her through, that he could call her his best friend. She gifted him a gentle smile and he felt a lump in his throat and the tears well up in his eyes. Erik looked away. I don't deserve you. As San went on to continue to speak, he couldn't help, but smile himself as he rubbed the tears from his eyes and cleared his throat. Please do. You're my moral compass you know! You're the only one who manages to keep me on the straight and narrow. The werewolf winked at her as he light-heartedly gave her a fistbump to her shoulder. Yeah, we'll be alright. Together. That's the important part. I just wanted to say thank you, San. For real. I missed you a lot... And yes, please. Food sounds like heaven at this moment. I'm starving. I thought you would never ask. Erik was over the moon to see that some things would never change.