Second Goodbye PV AleksO.

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Dated: May 31st 2020 ━━━【  ҉  】━━━ @Aleksander Ostrowski
It had only been a month. A long month. One. Long. Month. In truth, Kateri had hoped and prayed that Hogwarts would keep her busy enough through this past month to not have her thoughts linger on the past. Between what had happened at the ball and preparing students for the end of the year, deciding what to do on her home in Aberdeen, and the mound of other duties she was scheduled for the young professor had managed to keep a nagging voice from creepy into her dreams even, too tired to keep her eyes open once her head touched her pillow in the morning after office hours. She hadn't even been dreaming or done much else outside of the castle. That suited her just fine, until tonight. Kateri had burned through all of her work and with no student occupying the tower, she had decided to lock up the classroom early. June would be here soon, mere minutes away as she checked the watch on her wrist. 11:50pm. So close to that date.

The past ten, well almost eleven, years always felt more like a lifetime ago but on nights like these, especially with nothing to keep her thoughts occupied, it dug at her all over again like a fresh wound. Cutting deep and stinging. She couldn't sit in that tower alone tonight with only this memory keeping her company. There was nothing she could do and her family had always made her feel guilty. Maybe if she could just... straighten out the memory? Instead of swimming around in it aimlessly, grasping to make sense of what visions played over and over inside of her skull. Yes, if she could just get a solid take on what had happened then she could finally get past it right? If anything it may just make it hurt less... right? Shaking her head as if to rid the doubt that had began to fester, Kateri's feet moved quicker now down the stairs of the castle. Further and further down, deeper into her thoughts as well as the castle. With each step she dug up what she would need for this specific potion. There was a new Potions professor that had been hired that she had yet to meet, though Kateri had barely even held a conversation with the previous one. Hopefully whoever they were they would be understanding, or at least fine with sharing the space and ingredients that were stored in the dungeon of the castle.

Reaching the door to the Potions classroom, the young woman pushed open the door and was pleasantly surprised to find it still unlocked. Feeling like the watch on her wrist was burning, her brown eyes lowered to rest upon the face and find it already past midnight. June 1st. Immediately the woman's heart twisted in her chest and air rushed from her lungs. No, she had to keep going. Gripping the handle of the door, Kat entered the room and quietly closed the door behind her being sure to slowly let the bolt slide back into place.

"Hello...?" Her voice croaked into the dimly lit room. She waited for a response but when none came she was satisfied she was alone. For all she knew the new professor was setting up their office or resting area elsewhere in the castle. Should she be lucky enough they hadn't even arrived yet and she would find herself able to brew uninterrupted. Kateri could her remnants of her mother's voice in her mind, warning her, pleading with her. Another shade of a memory from long ago, arguments about letting loved ones go and the pain it causes. Honoring a death. Keeping them alive and not forgetting. For years all Kat wanted to do was forget. Wipe away the agonizing tremors that racked her limbs and made living for a number of years unbearable. The things she did...all that had happened and what had been taken from her. When she had first been approached for the job at Hogwarts it had never crossed her mind what it could dig up. Yet, in the short time she had been here interacting with the students it had dredged up a multitude of emotions. The ending of the school year and knowing what would have, or could have come in the Fall year... He could have been here, with her.

Kateri's face paled as she tried to draw in a breath and steady herself. A hand went to the bag at her side, some supplies she had hastily grabbed from her office before rushing from the tower. This would help. It had to. Holding her breath and closing her eyes, Kat tried to focus. Looking back out into the room around her she scanned the shelves for an extra cauldron, even if one of the students had left it behind she would be sure to scrub it afterwards. It wasn't like anyone was going to be in here anyway to catch her in the act. Walking to one of the tables, she set her bag down and put a hair-tie gently between her lips to hold while she gathered the long raven black hair that hung just past her waist. She hadn't bothered to do anything with it that evening knowing a few, if any, students would be in to see her since it had been a Sunday. Hunching over slightly as she peered over the contents of the shelves in the room, her fingers tugging her locks into a limp half ponytail-half bun, Kat came across what looked to be a very well used cauldron in the corner of the room. It had a layer of dust on it, seemingly been forgotten at some point most likely or used only in the class should it be needed. Whatever the reason, Kateri was simply thankful it was there. She hadn't thought about her own back in her office in her haste to get down here.

Grabbing the cauldron and bringing it back to her spot at the table with her bag, Kateri began setting up to prepare and brew. Letting the cauldron heat, she rolled up her sleeves and buttoned them so they wouldn't get in the way while she worked. It would be another two hours before she would do anything but focus on the task at hand. Opening her bag and emptying the contents gently onto the table, she carefully took each one and laid it out on a piece of fabric she had set down. If anyone were to see it, she might look odd as if she was going through a ritual and muttering to herself as she brought each ingredient to her face, eyes closed and whispers before setting it down and moving to the next. The last ingredient she would pull from the bag was sage. Not just any sage but something that had traveled with her from home, the reservation she was born and raised on. A piece of her just as much as the memory and person she mourned with each touch of her fingers against the little bundle nestled in her hand. For her and her culture there was always deep meaning and connection to the world around. Before coming to Hogwarts she had played with the idea of brewing this potion but always tucked the ingredients away back under her bed in a small elm keepsake box.

Finally the time had felt right, granted it had sucker punched her in the middle of grading... and sent her rushing down to the classroom. Still, when a feeling struck her this powerful she was always quick to give in. Especially when it involved this. Keeping an eye on her watch and timing for the ingredients, Kat rolled her shoulders impatiently then crossed her arms over her chest. Boring her attention into the liquid swirling in the cauldron she waited before continuing to the next step. She just had to wait a little longer, or so she recalled from the directions. It had been some time since she had brewed this particular potion, all the way back to her days at Ilvermorny. Another sting of memories and time lost.


"Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented."-Elie Wiesel
Second Goodbye PV AleksO.
The new Professor was quite surprised to hear frantic footsteps coming down the hallway towards his classroom. They sounded heavier than that of a student, not that a student would be coming to the classroom at this sort of time anyway.

He had only been at the castle for a few days, but he had essentially settled in as soon as he arrived, having had barely any belongings to set up in his office or living space within the castle.

Most of his time had been spent down here in the dungeons, either teaching or doing his best to avoid the rest of the world whilst he worked on his own projects. He only really came out of the space to eat and even then he barely spoke to the other professors unless it was to answer the typical small talk questions that he was already sick of getting from the children he taught.

As the footsteps approached he wondered if he'd gotten on someone's bad side and that's why they were headed his way with such frantic speed. Honestly it would not have shocked him in the slightest, but he couldn't think of anyone who disliked him that much, except perhaps Professor Jensen.

He spun around in his swivel chair, fingers softly caressing the deep facial scars that reminded him every day of an altogether painful moment, an eternal reminder that he wore on his face.

As the person entered, a woman as it turned out, and one of his fellow Professors if he wasn't very much mistaken stormed in. He opened his mouth to ask her business but was somewhat surprised to see himself go completely ignored as she began searching around the room for various supplies and such. He was confused, and almost wanted to object to the intrusion, but decided to observe and see if she noticed him first.

He saw her pull various ingredients out of her bag and perform some kind of strange ritual chant with each one, almost like they had value beyond being simply components. Strange but...it was clearly important enough to her that even in her clearly heightened emotional state she felt the need to do it.

As she began to get everything ready he decided he'd let the game go on just long enough. He cleared his throat, hoping to catch her attention as he carefully drew a cigarette out of the pack in his jacket and lit it. "I don not know if I should be offended or relieved that you did not spot me." He said with his usual dry wit. He took a short drag of the cigarette as he stood.

"Professor Karr? If I am not mistaken. You may want to ask your heart-rate to slow down a bit, I can hear the thudding from over here." He mentioned, gesturing to her. It wasn't a lie, his sensitive ears could hear the dull thud against her chest each time.

His expression went grim and serious after that, as his bright blue eyes looked to her ingredients and then back to her. "You are a long way from the Astronomy tower, possibly the longest way you could be." He commented, taking another drag as he took a few steps closer.

"If I am not entirely mistaken. Those are the ingredients for a memory potion, are they not?" He asked her, looking at the ingredients she had laid out. "I am not technically allowed to stop you from being here, but do you actually know what you're doing? I'd rather not have chunks of cauldron flying all over the room." He joked in a deadly serious tone, staring his fellow Professor straight in the eyes.
Interacting with: @Kateri Karr

What makes a monster? And what makes a man?
Second Goodbye PV AleksO.
@Aleksander Ostrowski
Closing her eyes and drawing in a deep breath, Kateri rubbed the palms of her hands together. Rusty or not she knew enough about potions to be concerned if she couldn't remember all of the steps then it could be more of a mess than intended. Mentally and possibly physically... and not really knowing the new Potions Professor. Well, explaining away burns or ruined classroom equipment could go one of two ways- A voice sounded from somewhere in the room and made her jolt to attention.

"I-" She had been so focused on her task that she completely missed the man sitting in the room with her. Her cheeks burned red in embarrassment and nostrils flared as the smell of smoke struck her nostrils. Was he really smoking inside, let alone in a classroom? What had he meant about hearing her heartbeat? Her slender black brows furrowed together, eyes darkening. As bad as she felt about having apparently bulldozed her way into the room unaware that he was in here, there was a larger part of her that felt irritated for having been interrupted. Not something typical of her personality and in any other circumstance she might have worried how that would look as a first impression. However, in this moment.. she could care less. Plus, he looked barely young enough to have been..well... Kateri's thoughts tapered off as her eyes set on the scar running along part of her colleague's face. Her hackles lowered slightly as he came closer, a couple more scars now even more visible. She had only seen scars on another human being like that one time in her life, leaving her with a curious sense of if it had been a similar run in. Matching his steely blue gaze, tendrils of smoke coming off of the cigarette and swirling in the air as he stepped closer, Kateri lowered her hands to her side. Well, she had been caught no use in explaining away anything. Not that it meant she would have to open up as to the real 'whys' of her presence here in the dungeon.

"I apologize that I did not see you sooner. I wouldn't have bothered your quiet down here had I been more observant." A genuine apology, her voice soft feeling as if she had been a child caught sneaking into their parent's study. "I wanted to take care of something." Why did she feel so strange? Ashamed? Almost a mix of frustration and shame from being so blind to someone being in the room but his presence had snapped her out of whatever trance she had been in. It was sobering having someone stand there in front of her and audibly put into the world what she had secretly been holding onto in her mind. Hearing it from someone else made it all the more real.

She watched as he took another step and looked down at the ingredients. What had been his name? She heard it briefly among the Professors talking when he had been hired... Ostrowski. Aleksander Ostrowski. His name and accent was so unfamiliar to her ears. Deep and heavier on some vowels than others. Granted, she could only imagine how alien she might sound to anyone else at Hogwarts even with such a diverse amount of students and faculty. The adrenaline that had been coursing through her veins, clouding her mind and running her muscles on their own accord was waning. It left her finger tips feeling numb and tingling sensation running up her arms. The voice in the back of her head was still there whispering to her angrily to make this intruder go away so she could finish. 'What business is it of his if you're here or what you're doing! He even admit to it! He can't stop you. Finish already and get it over with.' The venomous hiss digging at the base of her skull made her stomach flop in on itself. She didn't like it. This wasn't her. She hadn't been herself the last couple of days in fact. Her earthy brown eyes left his frame for a second to scan the floor beneath her for a second before returning and being greeted by his own gaze once again. Almost unnerving... What was it about his presence?

"They certainly are. Clearly they chose the right person to fill the professor opening." A flick of her brow almost challenging him. "Hogwarts isn't the only one with a knowledgeable and reputable Potions curriculum." Unable to quell the tone her voice had decided to display almost as if it were trying to release the toxic energy eating at her inside anyway it can. "Or was that a crack at my age?" She couldn't stop her lips from moving. "Or.. better yet my gender?" Something had struck a nerve and even she wasn't sure what. Her normal low-key demeanor had been smothered by whatever this beast of an emotional state was. Growing up she had become almost immune to being judged by expectations and notions of what other's thought her to be based on skin, gender and her upbringing both in and out of the wizarding world. Why now was that deeper part of her deciding to lash out? 'He isn't going to stop you, just do it.' Tearing her gaze from his, she returned her attention to the ingredients in front of her. Clenching her hands, nails digging into her palms and willing away the shaking that had settled into her fingers, Kat hastily rubbed away a bead of sweat from her forehead.

Whether the tone in his voice, cigarette smoke or the fact Ostrowski was there in general something had entirely broken the solace she had found earlier in the silence of the room. She needed this. It had to work. There was more lingering in her memories somewhere that she couldn't dig into and this potion was going to help. It had to. Whether his reaction to her previous statements had been positive or negative, maybe... maybe it was a good thing he was here. "If you're so worried about me not being capable then maybe you should lend a hand."


"Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented."-Elie Wiesel