"Make the other person feel important"
Reducio
@Jeremy Slater
Not long after arriving at camp Alfie had compiled a list of all his cabinmates. He had noted the facts he knew about each, methods he might use to befriend them, and their relative value and usefulness to Alfie if his efforts proved successful. At the time Alfie had rated Jeremy Slater as relatively easy to befriend but also of relatively low value and usefulness. More recently, Alfie had come to believe that his original conclusions might have been premature. Every one of his cabinmates had proven harder to befriend than Alfie originally imagined. Consequently, no one was of low value. Alfie could use all the friends he could get, even if they were ‘amateur liars’ as Alfie had labelled Jeremy. In light of this decision, Alfie had been observing Jeremy for the last few days and taking note of his habits.
Let’s be honest. It wasn’t that difficult. Jeremy didn’t do much besides read, either in the cabin’s public area or in his own room. The most interesting thing Jeremy had done so far had been to set up that free fact table shortly after their arrival. This told Alfie everything he thought he needed to know about Jeremy, or at least as much as he needed to get his foot in the door. After that, if Alfie remembered all the rules from his ‘making friends and influencing people’ book, it shouldn’t prove too difficult. He just had to catch Jeremy at the right moment.
The right moment didn’t presented itself at once. Alfie wanted to catch Jeremy alone, someplace where they wouldn’t be interrupted, and at a time when Jeremy wasn’t busy. Eventually Alfie gave up and decided that one out of three would have to do. Jeremy was alone, but in the public area of the cabin where they could be interrupted by at least eight other people. Also Jeremy was reading. No one wanted to be interrupted while they were reading. Everyone knew that. On the other hand, if Alfie waited for Jeremy to not be reading he would be waiting a very long time.
Alfie had been pretending to peruse their cabin’s library for about ten minutes now. He had originally assumed that Jeremy would have to come up for air at some point. He would pause in his reading and lift his head to rub his eyes or pensively rub his chin. Alfie would nod and smile and they could exchange pleasantries about what each of them were reading. That was all it would take. Or at least that was what Alfie had originally thought. Jeremy never looked up, however. Eventually, Alfie cleared his throat and made his own opening.
“Excuse me, Jeremy?”
#1 "Remember names: A person's name is the sweetest and most important sound in any language to them."
“Terribly sorry to interrupt. I can see you are busy and I don’t want to take you away from– Magical Hieroglyphs, Runes and Logograms– Fascinating, that– but I’m in a bit of a pickle and I can’t think of anyone else.” Alfie smiled disarmingly.
#2 "Smile: A smile conveys warmth and positive intent instantly."
“I mean, it’s obvious that you truly care about knowledge. Otherwise, you wouldn’t go to the lengths you do to educate others with interesting facts.”
#3 "Talk in terms of the other person's interests: Focus the conversation on what they care about."
“And of all the people I’ve met here, no one else seems so dedicated to learning. There is no better person for me to come to.”
#4 "Make the other person feel important: Do it sincerely and without expecting anything in return."
“I’m sorry, I know this is your free time. It doesn’t have to be now. If you agree, we could talk at whatever time is most convenient to you. It’s just that, well–” Alfie made a show of looking around cautiously, as if checking to see that they were still alone, though he was quite aware that they were, or else he would not be confiding in Jeremy now. He lowered his voice slightly to give the impression of intimacy and trust. “My parents didn’t go to Hogwarts, you see. So, I’ve had no one to tell me what to expect. And well, some people aren’t as open-minded about families that aren’t strictly–” Alfie raised an eyebrow, allowing Jeremy to make his own conclusions.
For all Alfie knew, Jeremy might be one of those people who believed ‘the old ways are the best ways’ or whatever that classist tripe was that Alfie had heard leveled against people like himself. If Jeremy was one of those people though, he was a bit of a hypocrite. 'Jeremy Slater' had not been among the students that Strike’s parents wanted him to memorize. Alfie was going out on a limb to assume that this meant the Slaters couldn’t trace their ancestors back to Merlin, or whatever.
“So, if you wouldn’t mind awfully, I’d love to pick your brain,” Alfie concluded. “Not, now, of course– I know you want to get back to your reading– but, just some time, maybe. I really do think you are the best person that I could possibly ask.”
Too much? Alfie wondered. Or just enough? It wasn’t even a lie, not really. Jeremy really was the best person Alfie could think of to ask. That was why he was asking him and not any of the other cabinmates. Alfie composed his expression into the sincerest one that he knew how to fake and hoped for the best.
Reducio
Shout out to Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People
"Make the other person feel important"
Jeremy's morning routine at camp was simple. Grab a muffin, then a book. Read for about four hours until lunch. He knew that camp was supposed to be about doing activities, making friends, and all that rubbish, but the camp had given them far too much independence, and without his mum and dad there to tell him to go out and get some fresh air, he was asserting that newfound independence by reading as much as possible and rarely going anywhere near the sun.
Today, he was reading about ancient runes. It was totally unfair that they wouldn’t be able to study it at school until third year, especially considering that Jeremy had already proved he could do them this summer, even if the results had been a bit disastrous. He knew even then that he should have known better than to try - but the best way to combat mistakes was by learning, wasn't it? He'd been foolish to try, yes, but that was only because he hadn’t known what he was doing. But if he read about it more? Well then he'd know what he was doing, wouldn't he? Anyway, sure he hadn’t meant to make fire, but he HAD made fire, which had been kind of amazing in its own right.
Just as he was reading about an ice and water rune (perhaps they should have tried that one instead) the boy heard his name.
'Excuse me, Jeremy?’
Jeremy looked up in surprise at the person who'd called to him while he was reading. People didn't usually do that, yes, but this was even more surprising because it was Alfie Owen, who hadn't yet talked to Jeremy much at all. He had come to the fact booth, which was where Jeremy learned that he was Welsh, and that he didn't like the English, and that was about all he knew about him.
The surprises didn't stop there. Alfie had found the fact booth interesting? Jeremy had thought it had been a complete failure (mostly thanks to Jo), because he'd only gotten a few customers, and he wasn't sure that he'd even remembered to mention for them to tell their friends. The facts he'd got to give were mostly about animals, and he knew a lot more than that. He was happy someone noticed though that he liked learning, and that he was dedicated to knowledge, even if Alfie hadn't been to school yet, and couldn't help Jeremy with the sorting hat at all.
“Really, you want my help?" he asked, but it was sure a nice change from people thinking HE needed help all the time. "No, it’s okay, we can talk now,” Jeremy said, putting his book down carefully, so as not to lose the page. Because, see, THIS is what you were supposed to do when somebody came up to you while you were reading and needed your help (he thought bitterly at @Henry Holbrook).
Jeremy nodded his head solemnly when Alfie mentioned how some people could be. He hadn't seen as much of it himself, but he had heard of it.
“Oh…yeah….I know about that. My granda was a muggle, and my dad said that he got bullied at school all the time about that. People thought that just because his dad was a muggle, that he wasn't really magic. I hate kids like that. My granda knew more about everything than they could ever know." he said, crossing his arms. Jeremy had been told it was possible they might say something to him too, just because his grandpa was a muggle, which seemed as stupid as could be. Well, he hoped they DID try to say something to him, because if anybody said anything bad about his grandfather, they'd wish they never said it.
It was only then that he began to register what Alfie had said.
“Oh wait, are you a muggle-born?” Jeremy asked, curiously. "But no, you can't be, you know about Quidditch! Did you just move to Wales?" That would explain why his parents didn't go to Hogwarts. Maybe they'd gone to Durmstrang or something, like Declan.
Well, he would find out about that in a little bit. He did want to go back to his reading, but, as Alfie said, Jeremy WAS pretty well suited to help him. He bet he knew more about Hogwarts than some of the kids who already went there, and Alfie HAD asked him nicely.
“I could help you now, if you want,” he said. "I know a lot about Hogwarts. Well I've never been there, but I've read a lot about it, and my sister's been there. Half of what she tells me isn't true, but I'm pretty good at telling what isn't. Henry knows a lot about it too, but you really have to bend his arm before he'll help you," Jer said, shaking his head.
Today, he was reading about ancient runes. It was totally unfair that they wouldn’t be able to study it at school until third year, especially considering that Jeremy had already proved he could do them this summer, even if the results had been a bit disastrous. He knew even then that he should have known better than to try - but the best way to combat mistakes was by learning, wasn't it? He'd been foolish to try, yes, but that was only because he hadn’t known what he was doing. But if he read about it more? Well then he'd know what he was doing, wouldn't he? Anyway, sure he hadn’t meant to make fire, but he HAD made fire, which had been kind of amazing in its own right.
Just as he was reading about an ice and water rune (perhaps they should have tried that one instead) the boy heard his name.
'Excuse me, Jeremy?’
Jeremy looked up in surprise at the person who'd called to him while he was reading. People didn't usually do that, yes, but this was even more surprising because it was Alfie Owen, who hadn't yet talked to Jeremy much at all. He had come to the fact booth, which was where Jeremy learned that he was Welsh, and that he didn't like the English, and that was about all he knew about him.
The surprises didn't stop there. Alfie had found the fact booth interesting? Jeremy had thought it had been a complete failure (mostly thanks to Jo), because he'd only gotten a few customers, and he wasn't sure that he'd even remembered to mention for them to tell their friends. The facts he'd got to give were mostly about animals, and he knew a lot more than that. He was happy someone noticed though that he liked learning, and that he was dedicated to knowledge, even if Alfie hadn't been to school yet, and couldn't help Jeremy with the sorting hat at all.
“Really, you want my help?" he asked, but it was sure a nice change from people thinking HE needed help all the time. "No, it’s okay, we can talk now,” Jeremy said, putting his book down carefully, so as not to lose the page. Because, see, THIS is what you were supposed to do when somebody came up to you while you were reading and needed your help (he thought bitterly at @Henry Holbrook).
Jeremy nodded his head solemnly when Alfie mentioned how some people could be. He hadn't seen as much of it himself, but he had heard of it.
“Oh…yeah….I know about that. My granda was a muggle, and my dad said that he got bullied at school all the time about that. People thought that just because his dad was a muggle, that he wasn't really magic. I hate kids like that. My granda knew more about everything than they could ever know." he said, crossing his arms. Jeremy had been told it was possible they might say something to him too, just because his grandpa was a muggle, which seemed as stupid as could be. Well, he hoped they DID try to say something to him, because if anybody said anything bad about his grandfather, they'd wish they never said it.
It was only then that he began to register what Alfie had said.
“Oh wait, are you a muggle-born?” Jeremy asked, curiously. "But no, you can't be, you know about Quidditch! Did you just move to Wales?" That would explain why his parents didn't go to Hogwarts. Maybe they'd gone to Durmstrang or something, like Declan.
Well, he would find out about that in a little bit. He did want to go back to his reading, but, as Alfie said, Jeremy WAS pretty well suited to help him. He bet he knew more about Hogwarts than some of the kids who already went there, and Alfie HAD asked him nicely.
“I could help you now, if you want,” he said. "I know a lot about Hogwarts. Well I've never been there, but I've read a lot about it, and my sister's been there. Half of what she tells me isn't true, but I'm pretty good at telling what isn't. Henry knows a lot about it too, but you really have to bend his arm before he'll help you," Jer said, shaking his head.
"Make the other person feel important"
Alfie noted Jeremy’s expression, the word ‘Really?’ and Jeremy’s emphasis on the word ‘my’ in ‘my help’. He smiled and silently thanked the How to Win Friends guy for all his advice.
Alfie had been hesitant about bringing up family, as it was admitting what seemed to be regarded as a weakness. However, he hadn’t been able to think of any other way to ask basic questions. (And some of his questions were very basic.) The risk had been rewarded though, since it had induced Jeremy to open up about his own family, which was as non-pure as Alfie had guessed.
Alfie listened, nodding as Jeremy confirmed his fears. They really did hate people from muggle families. That made it awkward when Jeremy asked if Alfie himself was muggle-born.
“Not exactly,” he said. The blood status categories confused Alfie. When the magical liaison people had visited his house they talked a lot about the needs of muggle-born students, but later on his paperwork they had written half-blood. This turned out to be what they called someone who had one magical parent, and, as the liaison had explained, they were going on the assumption that Alfie’s father was a wizard. They also said there was the possibility that he was something called a squab, which apparently is what they call someone from a magical family that isn’t magic. Then they assured Alfie that even if his father was a squab, that his blood still counted as magical and that made Alfie a half-wizard, or half-blooded, or whatever. So Alfie genuinely found blood status categories confusing. He was about to confuse matters even more.
“My mother is a Wynne-Lloyd,” he explained. “I don’t know if the Wynne-Lloyds are as well-known in England, but everyone knows about them in Wales. It’s an extremely old magical family. Unfortunately the magic skipped a generation, so my mother went to medical school instead of Hogwarts.”
There was some truth in what Alfie said, if you squinted hard enough. It was Alfie’s grandmother who was the Wynne-Lloyd, not his mother. Unquestionably, the Wynne-Lloyd name was well known in Wales. Wales didn’t have that many surnames, so everyone in Wales knew at least one Wynne or Lloyd. They were an extremely old family in the same way that all families are. Whether they were magical was up for debate. It seemed some of them had at least claimed to be back in the day, but whether they were Hogwarts-magical or flimflam artist magical, Alfie couldn’t say. If they actually were Hogwarts-magical, then the magic had certainly skipped a generation– or two, or more likely six, or seven. The exact number was lost to time. Lastly, Alfie’s mother really had gone to medical school. She’d dropped out when she got pregnant with Alfie, but no one was asking for her to present her diploma.
“My father is from Spain, so he didn’t go to Hogwarts either,” Alfie concluded. Alfie wasn’t sure where Spanish wizards went to school, so he didn’t elaborate.
Jeremy seemed very eager to help him, regardless of his blood status, and made it clear that he considered himself very knowledgeable (and apparently more generous than Henry).
“That would be lush!” Alfie enthused, taking a seat in an adjacent comfy chair. “You don’t know how grateful I am.”
Alfie was pretty sure that expressing gratitude was also one of the steps in his making friends book, but he’d forgotten which number.
“I hardly know where to start,” Alfie began, though he had a pretty good idea. “I’ve been reading one of our assigned books. The Hogwarts, a History one. And it has all kinds of stuff about when the school was founded and how and by who.” It was the who-part that had seemed excessive to him. They’d gone into great detail about the values of each founder, in a way that Alfie’s school books had never done, even when talking about someone as important as Glyndŵr or the various Llewellyns.
“It kept referring to the founders in reference to the four houses and sorting. The houses I understand. My primary school had four houses too, for the four great landmarks in Holyhead. Mine was Mynydd Twr, the mountain. I’m pretty sure they were assigned randomly though. We certainly didn’t have a ceremony about it.” He cocked his head, thinking of how he should phrase his question. “Can you explain what this sorting ceremony is that the book keeps referencing? Is it actually related to the founders, or have I misunderstood?” He was hoping that the sorting wasn’t some sort of tiered system, because if that was based on magical knowledge, he was likely to be assigned to whatever the remedial house was.
Alfie had been hesitant about bringing up family, as it was admitting what seemed to be regarded as a weakness. However, he hadn’t been able to think of any other way to ask basic questions. (And some of his questions were very basic.) The risk had been rewarded though, since it had induced Jeremy to open up about his own family, which was as non-pure as Alfie had guessed.
Alfie listened, nodding as Jeremy confirmed his fears. They really did hate people from muggle families. That made it awkward when Jeremy asked if Alfie himself was muggle-born.
“Not exactly,” he said. The blood status categories confused Alfie. When the magical liaison people had visited his house they talked a lot about the needs of muggle-born students, but later on his paperwork they had written half-blood. This turned out to be what they called someone who had one magical parent, and, as the liaison had explained, they were going on the assumption that Alfie’s father was a wizard. They also said there was the possibility that he was something called a squab, which apparently is what they call someone from a magical family that isn’t magic. Then they assured Alfie that even if his father was a squab, that his blood still counted as magical and that made Alfie a half-wizard, or half-blooded, or whatever. So Alfie genuinely found blood status categories confusing. He was about to confuse matters even more.
“My mother is a Wynne-Lloyd,” he explained. “I don’t know if the Wynne-Lloyds are as well-known in England, but everyone knows about them in Wales. It’s an extremely old magical family. Unfortunately the magic skipped a generation, so my mother went to medical school instead of Hogwarts.”
There was some truth in what Alfie said, if you squinted hard enough. It was Alfie’s grandmother who was the Wynne-Lloyd, not his mother. Unquestionably, the Wynne-Lloyd name was well known in Wales. Wales didn’t have that many surnames, so everyone in Wales knew at least one Wynne or Lloyd. They were an extremely old family in the same way that all families are. Whether they were magical was up for debate. It seemed some of them had at least claimed to be back in the day, but whether they were Hogwarts-magical or flimflam artist magical, Alfie couldn’t say. If they actually were Hogwarts-magical, then the magic had certainly skipped a generation– or two, or more likely six, or seven. The exact number was lost to time. Lastly, Alfie’s mother really had gone to medical school. She’d dropped out when she got pregnant with Alfie, but no one was asking for her to present her diploma.
“My father is from Spain, so he didn’t go to Hogwarts either,” Alfie concluded. Alfie wasn’t sure where Spanish wizards went to school, so he didn’t elaborate.
Jeremy seemed very eager to help him, regardless of his blood status, and made it clear that he considered himself very knowledgeable (and apparently more generous than Henry).
“That would be lush!” Alfie enthused, taking a seat in an adjacent comfy chair. “You don’t know how grateful I am.”
Alfie was pretty sure that expressing gratitude was also one of the steps in his making friends book, but he’d forgotten which number.
“I hardly know where to start,” Alfie began, though he had a pretty good idea. “I’ve been reading one of our assigned books. The Hogwarts, a History one. And it has all kinds of stuff about when the school was founded and how and by who.” It was the who-part that had seemed excessive to him. They’d gone into great detail about the values of each founder, in a way that Alfie’s school books had never done, even when talking about someone as important as Glyndŵr or the various Llewellyns.
“It kept referring to the founders in reference to the four houses and sorting. The houses I understand. My primary school had four houses too, for the four great landmarks in Holyhead. Mine was Mynydd Twr, the mountain. I’m pretty sure they were assigned randomly though. We certainly didn’t have a ceremony about it.” He cocked his head, thinking of how he should phrase his question. “Can you explain what this sorting ceremony is that the book keeps referencing? Is it actually related to the founders, or have I misunderstood?” He was hoping that the sorting wasn’t some sort of tiered system, because if that was based on magical knowledge, he was likely to be assigned to whatever the remedial house was.
Reducio
@Jeremy Slater, @Henry Holbrook
"Make the other person feel important"
Jeremy nodded sympathetically “Ahhh, so you mean your mum’s a squib?”
Jeremy had never met a squib before (or at least if he did, he didn’t know it) but everybody knew about them of course. It sounded awful, to be born to a magical family and not even be able to cast spells like a muggle or something. Not that there was anything wrong with being a muggle of course; his Granda was one after all, and he had loved him more than anything, but it still didn’t mean Jeremy would choose to be one if he didn’t have to be.
As for the Wynne-Lloyds...
“Well um… I think I maybe heard of ‘em,” Jeremy nodded. He really wasn’t sure if he had or hadn’t, but Alfie had come to him for help, and if he acted like he didn’t know anything now, then Alfie would definitely be let down. And maybe he HAD heard of them. Maybe it had been in a book or something? It certainly sounded like the type of name he would read in a book.
“Oh, so he went to Beauxbatons then?” Jeremy asked. “I think that's where Spanish wizards go. I read about that school too. Not as much as Hogwarts of course…It sounds really pretty though. Hey, is there really a giant healing fountain there? That’s what I read anyway…” the boy said. All of the different wizarding schools had interesting facts about them (nobody had asked for those at the Fact Booth) but he understood finally why Alfie wanted information about Hogwarts. Alfie, for his part, seemed grateful (very grateful, more than Jeremy had expected, but at least not as happy as that time he had accidentally asked Strike to be his friend). It made Jeremy feel a little bad, because it wasn't like helping him was going to be hard.
“Aww, it’s okay,” Jeremy shrugged, leaning back on the couch and regarding the other boy. “I don’t mind or anything. I know what it’s like starting at a school and not knowing anything.” He hadn’t spent much time in an actual school, but he had the last two years, after his grandfather died and his grandmother got older and couldn’t spend all day teaching him anymore. He hadn’t exactly made many friends or had a very good time there, especially not at first. Alfie really should have read more about Hogwarts, but maybe if his mum was a squib Alfie hadn’t known if he’d even get to go. The other boy really did seem to need his help and he didn’t want to be mean to him, and plus, Alfie said he was the best person to do it.
“Ooh you have Hogwarts: a History? It’s really good. Yeah, that will teach you just about everything you need to know about the school. Uh, but I can still tell you more about it of course.” Yes, because just because somebody had read Hogwarts a History didn’t mean that they still didn’t need help! (*cough cough again @Henry Holbrook*).
“Oh sure, I can tell you about the sorting ceremony!” Jeremy said, sounding pretty excited and not noticing the way he puffed out his chest. “It’s actually really interesting, it’s one of the coolest parts about Hogwarts. And I bet they don’t have that at Beauxbatons."
Jeremy stood up, even though he was not really sure why. He liked to tell his parents about the things he read in his books, but nobody else ever really seemed to want to listen.
“So you’ve heard of the Sorting Hat, right? Maybe you didn’t get up to that chapter yet. Well you’re definitely right about the part about the founders. Each of the founders had their own house, right? And they used to do all the sorting themselves. They kind of chose the kids that had the traits that they really valued, you know? The ones they wanted to be in their house. But they knew they couldn’t do that forever, because well that was like a thousand years ago and they’re all dead now, right? So they needed something else, and that’s where the sorting hat comes in.”
Jeremy motioned to the top of his head, as he told Alfie excitedly about the sorting ceremony. A day that every child coming to Hogwarts dreamed of from the day they were old enough to dream. How lucky for Alfie that he didn’t have to know about it, so he wouldn’t have to spend so much time just WAITING to finally turn 11 and get to do it. "Now I dunno why they chose a hat, but they did, and that's where we get the Sorting Ceremony. The ceremony is really not that much to talk about. So we all stand up in front of the whole school, and one of the Professors puts the hat on your head, right? And well then it just thinks about it for a second and it sorts you, it’s really as simple as that. I think the founders magicked it up, you know? It’s got like all of their minds inside it or something. Not really, just kinda like the paintings do you know? It's them, but not really. Or at least I think that’s how it works. They made it so that it puts you where they would've put you. Now SOME people say that it sometimes just picks something random for fun, but I don’t really think so. I think the way it works is it just figures out what’s inside you. It can just read your mind, like a legilimens kind of, but even better, because some people think it sometimes even knows what you're gonna be later. They say that it knows everything about you. Everything. And then it finds out what kind of person you are and then it just knows what kind of house you belong in” Jeremy emphasized, raising his eyebrows. The thought was actually a little creepy, to be honest, his mind was one place that he liked to hope was safe, but he supposed the hat wasn’t going to tell anybody anything.
"And then people clap and stuff, and that's pretty much the whole thing."
Throughout his entire explanation he had continued breathlessly, not giving Alfie a chance to get a word in otherwise. His eyes shone with the light of excitement, but as he finished, the light did fade a bit as he slumped back down onto the couch.
“Of course, my whole family always ended up in Slytherin. So probably that’s where it’s gonna put me too…" He looked down for a moment, before regarding Alfie again. "They say that you can talk to the hat you know. Sometimes you can even try to tell it where to put you. Sometimes it listens, sometimes it doesn’t. So I guess it DOES kinda have a mind of its own. I TRIED to find somebody to talk to him for me about Ravenclaw, but I don’t think it worked…Um, I mean... yea, that’s really it, it’s not so bad or anything. If anybody tries to tell you it hurts or something, they’re just lying.”
Jeremy had never met a squib before (or at least if he did, he didn’t know it) but everybody knew about them of course. It sounded awful, to be born to a magical family and not even be able to cast spells like a muggle or something. Not that there was anything wrong with being a muggle of course; his Granda was one after all, and he had loved him more than anything, but it still didn’t mean Jeremy would choose to be one if he didn’t have to be.
As for the Wynne-Lloyds...
“Well um… I think I maybe heard of ‘em,” Jeremy nodded. He really wasn’t sure if he had or hadn’t, but Alfie had come to him for help, and if he acted like he didn’t know anything now, then Alfie would definitely be let down. And maybe he HAD heard of them. Maybe it had been in a book or something? It certainly sounded like the type of name he would read in a book.
“Oh, so he went to Beauxbatons then?” Jeremy asked. “I think that's where Spanish wizards go. I read about that school too. Not as much as Hogwarts of course…It sounds really pretty though. Hey, is there really a giant healing fountain there? That’s what I read anyway…” the boy said. All of the different wizarding schools had interesting facts about them (nobody had asked for those at the Fact Booth) but he understood finally why Alfie wanted information about Hogwarts. Alfie, for his part, seemed grateful (very grateful, more than Jeremy had expected, but at least not as happy as that time he had accidentally asked Strike to be his friend). It made Jeremy feel a little bad, because it wasn't like helping him was going to be hard.
“Aww, it’s okay,” Jeremy shrugged, leaning back on the couch and regarding the other boy. “I don’t mind or anything. I know what it’s like starting at a school and not knowing anything.” He hadn’t spent much time in an actual school, but he had the last two years, after his grandfather died and his grandmother got older and couldn’t spend all day teaching him anymore. He hadn’t exactly made many friends or had a very good time there, especially not at first. Alfie really should have read more about Hogwarts, but maybe if his mum was a squib Alfie hadn’t known if he’d even get to go. The other boy really did seem to need his help and he didn’t want to be mean to him, and plus, Alfie said he was the best person to do it.
“Ooh you have Hogwarts: a History? It’s really good. Yeah, that will teach you just about everything you need to know about the school. Uh, but I can still tell you more about it of course.” Yes, because just because somebody had read Hogwarts a History didn’t mean that they still didn’t need help! (*cough cough again @Henry Holbrook*).
“Oh sure, I can tell you about the sorting ceremony!” Jeremy said, sounding pretty excited and not noticing the way he puffed out his chest. “It’s actually really interesting, it’s one of the coolest parts about Hogwarts. And I bet they don’t have that at Beauxbatons."
Jeremy stood up, even though he was not really sure why. He liked to tell his parents about the things he read in his books, but nobody else ever really seemed to want to listen.
“So you’ve heard of the Sorting Hat, right? Maybe you didn’t get up to that chapter yet. Well you’re definitely right about the part about the founders. Each of the founders had their own house, right? And they used to do all the sorting themselves. They kind of chose the kids that had the traits that they really valued, you know? The ones they wanted to be in their house. But they knew they couldn’t do that forever, because well that was like a thousand years ago and they’re all dead now, right? So they needed something else, and that’s where the sorting hat comes in.”
Jeremy motioned to the top of his head, as he told Alfie excitedly about the sorting ceremony. A day that every child coming to Hogwarts dreamed of from the day they were old enough to dream. How lucky for Alfie that he didn’t have to know about it, so he wouldn’t have to spend so much time just WAITING to finally turn 11 and get to do it. "Now I dunno why they chose a hat, but they did, and that's where we get the Sorting Ceremony. The ceremony is really not that much to talk about. So we all stand up in front of the whole school, and one of the Professors puts the hat on your head, right? And well then it just thinks about it for a second and it sorts you, it’s really as simple as that. I think the founders magicked it up, you know? It’s got like all of their minds inside it or something. Not really, just kinda like the paintings do you know? It's them, but not really. Or at least I think that’s how it works. They made it so that it puts you where they would've put you. Now SOME people say that it sometimes just picks something random for fun, but I don’t really think so. I think the way it works is it just figures out what’s inside you. It can just read your mind, like a legilimens kind of, but even better, because some people think it sometimes even knows what you're gonna be later. They say that it knows everything about you. Everything. And then it finds out what kind of person you are and then it just knows what kind of house you belong in” Jeremy emphasized, raising his eyebrows. The thought was actually a little creepy, to be honest, his mind was one place that he liked to hope was safe, but he supposed the hat wasn’t going to tell anybody anything.
"And then people clap and stuff, and that's pretty much the whole thing."
Throughout his entire explanation he had continued breathlessly, not giving Alfie a chance to get a word in otherwise. His eyes shone with the light of excitement, but as he finished, the light did fade a bit as he slumped back down onto the couch.
“Of course, my whole family always ended up in Slytherin. So probably that’s where it’s gonna put me too…" He looked down for a moment, before regarding Alfie again. "They say that you can talk to the hat you know. Sometimes you can even try to tell it where to put you. Sometimes it listens, sometimes it doesn’t. So I guess it DOES kinda have a mind of its own. I TRIED to find somebody to talk to him for me about Ravenclaw, but I don’t think it worked…Um, I mean... yea, that’s really it, it’s not so bad or anything. If anybody tries to tell you it hurts or something, they’re just lying.”
"Make the other person feel important"
“Ahhh, so you mean your mum’s a squib?”
Alfie made a mental note correcting 'squab' to 'squib'. He thought that was probably a better word since a squab was the word for pigeon back when people used to eat pigeons. At some future time, Alfie would look up the word 'squib' and find out that a 'damp squib' was what you call something that you expect to be great but that turns out to be a bit of a dud, which he would assume is why magical people called their non-magical kids squibs. Magical people could be real jerks he would decide, but that was for the future, and this was now.
Still affecting a pleasant listening expression Alfie inclined his head ever so slightly in answer to Jeremy’s question. It was enough to be taken as an affirmative, so Jeremy could move on, but since he hadn’t actually said anything that meant he had plausible deniability if Jeremy ever found out otherwise. Right?
Not that it mattered, because Jeremy wasn’t the least bit suspicious. Alfie smiled as Jeremy convinced himself he might have heard of the Wynne-Lloyds. He patted himself on the back for his excellent lying skills, only to freeze slightly at the next hurdle.
“Oh, so he went to Beauxbatons then?”
Alfie wasn’t sure how to respond. What if he said ‘yes’, but later in the same conversation Jeremy remembered that Spanish wizards actually went somewhere else? Then he’d be screwed. However, since Jeremy didn’t wait for confirmation, Alfie kept the same slightly glazed smile and hoped that Jeremy wouldn’t ask any other questions that he–
“Hey, is there really a giant healing fountain there? That’s what I read anyway…”
Cachu hwch.1.
“Uh, I’m not sure. I suppose if there was, my dad might not have wanted to say so in front of mom. It would be kinda like rubbing it in, what with her having to go to medical school and all.”
He couldn’t help but wonder if Jeremy was right about the healing fountain though. If so, it seemed kind of unfair to him for wizards to keep that all to themselves. But by now, Jeremy was answering his question about the sorting ceremony so Alfie would have to ponder the inequalities inherent in a hidden magical society at another time.
Alfie continued to smile and nod at Jeremy’s assumptions. No, he hadn't read about any hat. As Jeremy continued though he felt his temper begin to rise. A magical hat that reads your mind? Jeremy must be taking the piss.
As Jeremy continued to elaborate though, Alfie became less certain. He had pegged Jeremy early on as simple and nothing in today’s conversation had contradicted that assessment. By 'simple', Alfie did not mean simple-minded, of course. Clearly, Jeremy knew things, so fair play to his intelligence. No, by 'simple' Alfie meant that Jeremy was straight-forward, the opposite of complicated. When Jeremy thought something he said it, as opposed to Alfie, who tended to keep his thoughts to himself. If Alfie said something, it might be true, but could just as easily be a lie. Or Alfie might be trying to make the truth sound like a lie, in order to make someone believe that a different lie was the truth. In other words, complicated. Jeremy wasn’t that. Which meant the stuff about the mind-reading hat was true? Hard to believe, but Alfie was doing his best to wrap his mind around it. What was a legilimens, anyway? He’d have to file that question for later though. One thing at a time.
Jeremy seemed to be wrapping up his explanation of the ceremony and the hat, moving on to the house designations themselves, and getting personal about it.
“So, um, why do you suppose all your family is in Slytherin?” Alfie asked when Jeremy seemed to be finished. If it was based on heredity, Alfie wondered where that left him? Maybe his DNA made him closest to the founder-lady who came from Wales: Helga Hufflepuff. He was pretty sure that was what her name had been, although 'Hufflepuff' didn’t sound very Welsh and 'Helga' certainly wasn’t.
“And, um, Ravenclaw? That’s the one you want?” Alfie was still trying to get this straight. “What makes that one any different from the other one? Or, what I mean to say is, what do you think the hat is going to read in your mind that would make you different from the rest of your family? Or do you just want it because you think Ravenclaw is a better house?” Alfie was still trying to understand why anyone cared. At his school, Ysgol Cybi2, one house was no better or worse than any other. That didn’t seem to be the case here.
For the first time, Alfie began to wonder what a magic hat was going to find in his own mind. It might not hurt him physically, but the idea of anything reading his thoughts was cause for alarm.
*****************************************************************************
ReducioWelsh Glossary:@Jeremy Slater
1cachu hwch Welsh idiom.exclam.xxxxx(KAH-khuh HOOKH) xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Literally "pig poo" or "swine shit" in Welsh. It functions as a colloquial exclamation roughly equivalent to "Crap!" or "it's all gone wrong".
x x 2Ysgol Cybi Welsh p.n.xxxxx(UH-sgol KUH-bee) xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx The name of a primary school in Holyhead, Wales (Caergybi, Cymru). Ysgol means school. Cybi is the 6th-century Saint associated with Caergybi. x x