21 Jun 2020, 21:09
Summer Secret
Hexcode= #507091
It was still well before curfew, but later in the afternoon. The sun had died down a bit, the heatwave being ended by a cool summer breeze wafting across the lake. The light of the sun hiding behind the Forbidden Forest filled Sylvain with an eerily similar feeling as he spent some time on his hands and knees by the lake’s edge. Scooping a common toad up and putting it in his bucket, he gently placed it with the others.
Sylvain’s mind drifted to thoughts of just last summer. It was summer filled with adventures. Though these muggle adventures seemed to pale in comparison to the truth of his magical existence. For some reason, scooping the toads up and putting them into a bucket made him feel better, a captive audience.
He would have been lying to himself if he didn’t acknowledge how he felt. He felt a lot like the toads probably did, contained within a small space and left with little room to express how they truly felt. Going home was quite similar to being in that bucket with the toads all croaking for freedom.
Their cries for independence reminded him of the pleas for help he’d muttered before going to school in the fall, they fell on deaf ears. Luckily for the amphibians, Sylvain would never forget them, and certainly didn’t intend to keep them for long. At least, not this time. The morose scholar sat upright, placing the bucket in the sand, putting his hands on his knees. His white shirt with blue stripes hadn’t been marred yet, but his finger nails were flooded with sand.
As he sat and pondered what his up and coming summer would be like, the boy mused if his mothers would just blatantly accept his disappearance again. It was truly amazing they’d not asked him a lick about what happened at school this semester, let alone how he was doing or what he’d felt accomplished for.
Truth was he hadn’t started to feel like he fit in until very recently, so he relented that it must have been a good thing they didn’t ask him. His curt responses would have displayed less than adequate progress anyways. Now that that it might not be the case, he began to wonder if they’d truly be capable of enjoying it with him, or if they’d give him the same hand waving he got when his letter arrived for Hogwarts.
For the most part, Sylvain wished he possessed the courage to demand they to take better care of him in at least one letter, or at perhaps he could have asked them for a ride to the train station, or some pocket money to celebrate his own birthday. It seemed unfair that all the other kids’ parents took better care of them, what with cakes and toys. He would be lying if he said their disinterest didn’t frustrate him, but what was there that he could honestly do about it?
No, it wasn’t their fault they didn’t understand his needs, Sylvain was the one who didn’t fit into their lives. It was probably for the best he planned to run away over the summer. Maybe find some new friends to take care of him. He was a wizard, and one that didn’t belong in the mundane world anymore. Regardless, he was prepared to bring shame upon himself by attempting to escape boring old Inverie Scotland at least once.
As he wiped an errant tear from his cheek, Sylvain arose, accidentally knocking the bucket containing the toads over. In a panic, the toads took flight, leaping in every direction. Some plopped satisfyingly into the water, others snuck off into the tall grass that lined the shore of the dimly glowing lake.
The only noise that came from Sylvain was an irritated groan followed by a morose sigh as he gave up. Even the toads didn’t seem all that interested in sharing his secrets.
@Aida Mòrsgor-Ama Ellwood
Last edited by Sylvain Wyllt on 24 Jul 2020, 14:27, edited 1 time in total.
"Things are never so bad they can't be made worse." -Elim Garak
23 Jun 2020, 02:55
Summer Secret
As the late afternoon sun sunk below the Forbidden Forest’s perimeter, the first waterbirds of twilight began to edge into the reeds lining the lake. The hunt was on for them as well as for a pair of ruby-red dragonflies (Crocothemis erythraea) skimming across the surface of the lake. Meanwhile bloodworms and other tiny beasties squirmed under the lake silt cryptically.
The patter of running feet could be heard approaching the quiet lakeside. The sound of gasping, too, but the pace was slowing down. Feet crunched dry branches and the labored breathing slowly calmed. Soon a figure in a black cloak became visible, shambling out from the treeline and veering into a patch of cattails. A pair of beautiful demoiselles were spooked by this intrusion. The green one flew away while the blue one hovered for a minute before landing on the back of the figure’s hood. The cloaked figure pushed through the cattails and made its way to a medium-sized, somewhat jagged rock at the lake’s edge, apparently bypassing a significantly larger and smoother one not far away. Sitting down on the rock with a thump and a sigh, the figure began looking around... just a few meters away from where Sylvain was positioned with his bucket. Finding a smooth, flat rock that would be perfect for stone skipping, the figure suddenly became aware of the boy’s presence and froze in place. Beneath the hood’s cowl a diffuse brightness was all that could be seen under its shadow, but a very pale hand emerged to push back the hood. The blue damselfly took flight and disappeared from view as Aida’s spectral white hair and violet-blue iridescent eyes were revealed in the slowly dying light. She was so pale she almost appeared to be glowing like a ghost.
“I’m sorry, I didn't see you there...” she said, observing the scene. The boy had a bucket, and a number of toads were radiating out from his position. “You’re Syl,” said Aida, remembering him from Dealla’s birthday party as well as the time several Ravenclaws had ventured into the Forbidden Forest. Perhaps Syl’s eyes seemed a bit more watery than before, but it was not immediately clear what was going on. Eyeing the bucket and watching the last of the toads disappearing into the surroundings, Aida asked “Were you collecting toads?” Her voice reflected pure curiosity and completely lacked any wisp of a judgmental tone. If anything, Aida looked approving. Anything with creatures tended to immediately cheer her up a little. A cool breeze gusted in, blowing Aida’s hair into her eyes as she stood up. She gestured to the large, smooth rock nearby in a half-invitation, half-observation. Pawing her hair out of her eyes she gave a half-smile of reassurance. The blue damselfly now reappeared, crawling up the backside of her arm.

The patter of running feet could be heard approaching the quiet lakeside. The sound of gasping, too, but the pace was slowing down. Feet crunched dry branches and the labored breathing slowly calmed. Soon a figure in a black cloak became visible, shambling out from the treeline and veering into a patch of cattails. A pair of beautiful demoiselles were spooked by this intrusion. The green one flew away while the blue one hovered for a minute before landing on the back of the figure’s hood. The cloaked figure pushed through the cattails and made its way to a medium-sized, somewhat jagged rock at the lake’s edge, apparently bypassing a significantly larger and smoother one not far away. Sitting down on the rock with a thump and a sigh, the figure began looking around... just a few meters away from where Sylvain was positioned with his bucket. Finding a smooth, flat rock that would be perfect for stone skipping, the figure suddenly became aware of the boy’s presence and froze in place. Beneath the hood’s cowl a diffuse brightness was all that could be seen under its shadow, but a very pale hand emerged to push back the hood. The blue damselfly took flight and disappeared from view as Aida’s spectral white hair and violet-blue iridescent eyes were revealed in the slowly dying light. She was so pale she almost appeared to be glowing like a ghost.
“I’m sorry, I didn't see you there...” she said, observing the scene. The boy had a bucket, and a number of toads were radiating out from his position. “You’re Syl,” said Aida, remembering him from Dealla’s birthday party as well as the time several Ravenclaws had ventured into the Forbidden Forest. Perhaps Syl’s eyes seemed a bit more watery than before, but it was not immediately clear what was going on. Eyeing the bucket and watching the last of the toads disappearing into the surroundings, Aida asked “Were you collecting toads?” Her voice reflected pure curiosity and completely lacked any wisp of a judgmental tone. If anything, Aida looked approving. Anything with creatures tended to immediately cheer her up a little. A cool breeze gusted in, blowing Aida’s hair into her eyes as she stood up. She gestured to the large, smooth rock nearby in a half-invitation, half-observation. Pawing her hair out of her eyes she gave a half-smile of reassurance. The blue damselfly now reappeared, crawling up the backside of her arm.

@Sylvain Indarys
Aida's color code: #351C75 (Persian Indigo)
28 Jun 2020, 15:10
Summer Secret
Hexcode= #507091
The boy’s eyes widened as though he’d seen a phantom at first, his mouth drawn tight to hold back a slight and imperceptible squeal of terror as he finally recognized the person. “Aida!” He said clutching his chest near his heart. “You startled me.” The two had met at Dee’s birthday party, where she had challenged Ileen to a duel. He admired the type of people who rose to challenges, and even moreso, he respected those that could offer a challenge. He delivered a conciliatory smile to this acquaintance of his. In a moment of reservation, Sylvain then crossed his arms defensively and turned away from the conversation to blanket his fragile feelings. He hoped she hadn’t seen his sobby eyes, his moment of weakness on the beach was meant to be private, but he was hardly the type to hold a grudge for long.
“Suppose that I was,” the morose boy said with a clear amount of disdain for the intrusion of his privacy. If there was anything that frustrated the wizard, it was being followed to somewhere his shy heart wanted to go clandestinely. A moment of contemplation later however, and he found himself disagreeing with the original feeling. Turning back around to his pallid company, Sylvain sighed forlornly and looked at Aida with the sort of look one could only describe as being sick of their own thoughts. “That was rude, I’m sorry.” His face scrunched up with disgust at his own feelings. What did he have to be ashamed of? “To be very honest with you, I was collecting an audience. Sometimes it’s easier to talk to the frogs than the others. They listen, I mean not really, that is to say, they don’t interrupt me.” He blinked slowly hoping to catch Aida’s reaction. It wasn’t often that Sylvain admitted his feelings to people, so he kept vigil for any signals of judgement.
Upon hearing a distinct scarcity of judgement in their words, the boy gave up on his reservations and instead decided his best course of action was to be candid with the near stranger. “Truth be told I don’t know what my life is going to look like this summer and I’m worried that my options might be taken from me.” With a big sigh, it felt as though the weight of the world had lifted from his shoulders. Sharing his feelings had a visibly profound effect on his well being. Chuckling a bit nervously, Sylvain offered a hug to Aida. “Hey, I don’t suppose you’re still giving out those handshake hugs?” Regardless of the hug he offered, he would then sit beside their rock, but seated on the sand. He then took his shoes off and dug his toes into the sand.
Looking out across the technicolor sky, what few clouds remained were a pastel pink, and the orange light of the setting sun poked golden glimmering beams through the branches of the forbidden forest with a portentous, yet satisfying luster. The sounds of the woodland critters had begun to drown out those of the castle courtyard above, and the insect life of the lake formed into a raucous chorus for the pair of wayward students. Momentarily, Sylvain hummed to ease the silent tension between the two, before working up the courage to ask another question of his lakeside guest. “Do you have plans for the summer?”
@Aida Mòrsgor-Ama Ellwood
"Things are never so bad they can't be made worse." -Elim Garak
3 Jul 2020, 03:17
Summer Secret
“Suppose that I was,” said Sylvain morosely. Eventually he sighed and added “That was rude, I’m sorry. To be very honest with you, I was collecting an audience. Sometimes it’s easier to talk to the frogs than the others… they don’t interrupt me,” he continued, watching for Aida’s response. Aida listened quietly until the boy finished. She would not have interrupted him in the first place, and she especially wouldn’t after he said something like that. Although Aida particularly loathed human hostility due to her traumatic upbringing and she was not a fan of secrecy, she was not the type to compel people to reveal what they did not want exposed. At least, not unless there was a truly exceptional reason to push against their freedom to do as they pleased. Aida’s face remained plain and non-judgmental as a result. “Hey, I don’t suppose you’re still giving out those handshake hugs? … Do you have plans for the summer?” In a short span, Sylvain had gone from a somewhat hostile tone to asking for hugs and personal information. Perhaps that kind of mercurial pace was something that bothered other people, but that was Aida’s natural element. It was people who spoke demandingly and authoritatively that she disliked, not people who were simply blunt and fast like herself.
“It seems I was intruding. If you’d prefer I can leave, I meant no harm,” she replied, giving him a chance to reply. She would leave if he asked her to, but assuming he did not, she would resume with answering his questions. Aida hated for questions to go unanswered. She did not take his first quasi-question literally, instead interpreting it as a statement of his feelings. “Why might your summer options be taken from you?” asked Aida, holding out her hand as an invitation for the handshake-hug. She could feel pain emanating from the boy, and precious little called to her as much as the profound suffering of another. Not even her unstoppable, burning curiosity could match that drive. If Sylvain accepted the handshake-hug, she would try to convey warmth, complete acceptance, and safety, lingering in the hug for as long as the boy would accept. Aida had only recently learned to hug, so she was likely to linger longer than was the social norm.
“As for summer plans...” Aida’s eyes closed. Perhaps sadly. What was there to be sad about? Aida felt a pain in her heart. Perhaps even she couldn’t explain it. Yet, she would not fail to answer the question as best she could. “Well, I don’t have a home to go back to, so I will stay here during the summer camp. After that I was thinking of hitting the road with some friends. Go back to being a drifter until school can start again. I hope to be there for the quidditch game with Durmstrang...” Somehow Aida’s response was falling flat even by her own standards. A shiver ran through her and any expression that had been on her face fell right off.
“I’ll listen, if you want. Toads are good, too, of course...” she said timidly. It was like a balloon had popped and reverted to a rubbery, tattered puddle on the floor.
“It seems I was intruding. If you’d prefer I can leave, I meant no harm,” she replied, giving him a chance to reply. She would leave if he asked her to, but assuming he did not, she would resume with answering his questions. Aida hated for questions to go unanswered. She did not take his first quasi-question literally, instead interpreting it as a statement of his feelings. “Why might your summer options be taken from you?” asked Aida, holding out her hand as an invitation for the handshake-hug. She could feel pain emanating from the boy, and precious little called to her as much as the profound suffering of another. Not even her unstoppable, burning curiosity could match that drive. If Sylvain accepted the handshake-hug, she would try to convey warmth, complete acceptance, and safety, lingering in the hug for as long as the boy would accept. Aida had only recently learned to hug, so she was likely to linger longer than was the social norm.
“As for summer plans...” Aida’s eyes closed. Perhaps sadly. What was there to be sad about? Aida felt a pain in her heart. Perhaps even she couldn’t explain it. Yet, she would not fail to answer the question as best she could. “Well, I don’t have a home to go back to, so I will stay here during the summer camp. After that I was thinking of hitting the road with some friends. Go back to being a drifter until school can start again. I hope to be there for the quidditch game with Durmstrang...” Somehow Aida’s response was falling flat even by her own standards. A shiver ran through her and any expression that had been on her face fell right off.
“I’ll listen, if you want. Toads are good, too, of course...” she said timidly. It was like a balloon had popped and reverted to a rubbery, tattered puddle on the floor.
Interacting with @Sylvain Indarys
5 Jul 2020, 04:58
Summer Secret
Hexcode= #507091
Sensing he'd done harm with his sensitive outburst, Sylvain became more melancholic. The boy was almost weepy, but sucking his tears in as best he could.
"I- I come here to cry." He said confessing the intrusion and his attachment to the area. "You've every right to be here just as I do..." his voice trailed off as he understood the meaning behind the offer to leave him be. "Uh, it's certainly a lot of me to ask of you. To uh, sit and listen to my troubles." He wiped his face with his sleeve. "but if you're willing to share then so am I." Sylvain would have been thankful for anything or anyone who managed to drag him out of this feeling.
He took her handshake hug as soon as offered. When the two pulled close, he felt the warmth and trust of someone who had been through much in life themselves. Someone who felt pain in a way similar to the way he had. The lingering awkwardness of the hug was piled onto by the young weeper's slight sobbiness, occasionally he shook a little as she held him tight. Eventually he pulled himself back to wipe the tears away before giggling a little at the angst of being twelve.
"It's just that there's nothing for me back home anymore. Sure, my adoptive muggle mothers might visit me in Inverie if they're not busy, and I'll be back at home but...." He let his voice trail again as he looked for the right words to share. "I really can't stand the thought of another summer filled with nothing to do. Another summer without learning anything new about who I am. Not after witnessing so much magic and diversity."
"I'm not certain they'll understand who I am or what I want anymore." He looked over to Aida with sand smeared across his cheeks. "It's not like they understood me before either. I've always been alone with my thoughts and feelings when it comes to them." It hurt a little to admit, but a whole school year had gone without a single word from them.
Watching with abject horror as Aida explained her Summer plans, Sylvain could not help but regret being so weepy. Aida had it far worse off than him, but he'd spent so much time worrying about whether or not his mother's cared for him, he forgot that he at least had family to go home to. "Hey, I'm ... Really sorry to hear that." His expression sobered up and became far less weepy, a stern level of concern sweeping over his eyebrows. Then he had a bad idea that he loved, one that broke the rules and disappointed people. An idea that made him happy.
Unsure of how to ask, but craving an answer, Sylvain mulled over Aida's position. "Do you have room for one more?" He asked before considering any of his other options, a rash decision for sure, but he was fed up with the monotony of going home to people who didn't love him the way that he needed it most. If Aida would have him, he'd spend the summer bouncing around with her. The only thing he had to lose was a family that didn't miss him.
@Aida Mòrsgor-Ama Ellwood
"Things are never so bad they can't be made worse." -Elim Garak
6 Jul 2020, 02:35
Summer Secret
Aida listened as the boy spoke, not interrupting. Then, at the end, she spoke:
“I don’t mind sharing. Ask me anything you want, no matter how strange or uncomfortable you may think it will be for me.” Aida gently put a hand on his shoulder and looked Sylvain in the eyes. “You were adopted? So was I. Well, I say adopted but it was more that I was relocated somewhere that I wasn’t really wanted. As long as I can remember I have been tolerated as a source of labor and something to take frustrations out on. Nothing could make me go back there now that things have gone this far. I also understand not wanting to go back to a place without magic and with less diversity. As for your parents not understanding who you are or what you want anymore, I also feel for you on that. I wonder if my parents will ever know who I am and what I want, and vice versa. There’s always that weird thing with grown-ups, though, and I assume it’s the same with parents. I can never actually be seen or heard by them, and they act as if I’m some kind of a weird … I don’t know, animal, or something. Or a ‘thing.’ They always seem to look right through me. I’m never treated like a real person by grown-ups. Creatures have treated me more like a person than grown-ups have.”
As the topic shifted away from Sylvain and onto Aida, the boy grew less weepy and a bit more stern-looking. This made Aida feel some substantial regret, not because she wanted Sylvain to be sad, but because subconsciously she felt that the more he bottled up his feelings to be strong for her, the less support she would be able to provide for him. She had been very grateful for the weeping, actually, and the more he had let go the more progress Aida felt that he was making at getting it all out. Now it felt like time was stopping and maybe even going into reverse, and she hated it. It was like that feeling she got after having run all day but finding her problems were still there in her bed afterwards. As his tears became prematurely stifled, she regretted the lost opportunity to bear more of the boy’s emotional burden. She had not meant to make comparisons or judgments simply by stating the truth of her family situation, but she was stuck. Of course she had to tell the truth, but in telling the truth it might automatically seem to belittle what Sylvain was going through. Though she had said she would reciprocate, Aida was mad at herself for making it about her. If anything called to her stronger than anything else in life, it was finding the deepest, darkest pain and being there for it, with it. She thought of herself as the one who should walk through the dark places of the world because in the dark she had come to see. This was the gift she had been given by that deep womb-like scar in the earth. This is what she needed to do in life. Even her damn wand knew it.
But there he was in her thoughts. Alexander, who was also stricken with immense pain. Aida had promised to help him, and this is what the summer journey had really turned into for her, regardless of the practical reasons that would have caused it anyway. Somehow the journey was supposed to restore Alexander's memories, and Aida was not sure if she could help accomplish that with more people accompanying. In fact, Dealla had recently dropped out of most of the trip in order to support another person who was in need of help over the summer. Aida began to feel a sense of limitations on her own temporal resources, and this made her even angrier with herself. She would find a way to support everyone. She had to. She was still infuriated with herself for not finding a way to save more mosps at the Blossom Ball. For not having been strong enough. For not being wise enough. This time she would find a way to eat away the pain of everyone. She had to find a way.
“I don't know how other people on the trip would feel about it, but I can ask them. Maybe people wouldn't mind if you came to my secret base, at least. If they don't like it, though, why don't we go somewhere -- just you and me? A journey is good for a wounded heart, I believe it."
“I don’t mind sharing. Ask me anything you want, no matter how strange or uncomfortable you may think it will be for me.” Aida gently put a hand on his shoulder and looked Sylvain in the eyes. “You were adopted? So was I. Well, I say adopted but it was more that I was relocated somewhere that I wasn’t really wanted. As long as I can remember I have been tolerated as a source of labor and something to take frustrations out on. Nothing could make me go back there now that things have gone this far. I also understand not wanting to go back to a place without magic and with less diversity. As for your parents not understanding who you are or what you want anymore, I also feel for you on that. I wonder if my parents will ever know who I am and what I want, and vice versa. There’s always that weird thing with grown-ups, though, and I assume it’s the same with parents. I can never actually be seen or heard by them, and they act as if I’m some kind of a weird … I don’t know, animal, or something. Or a ‘thing.’ They always seem to look right through me. I’m never treated like a real person by grown-ups. Creatures have treated me more like a person than grown-ups have.”
As the topic shifted away from Sylvain and onto Aida, the boy grew less weepy and a bit more stern-looking. This made Aida feel some substantial regret, not because she wanted Sylvain to be sad, but because subconsciously she felt that the more he bottled up his feelings to be strong for her, the less support she would be able to provide for him. She had been very grateful for the weeping, actually, and the more he had let go the more progress Aida felt that he was making at getting it all out. Now it felt like time was stopping and maybe even going into reverse, and she hated it. It was like that feeling she got after having run all day but finding her problems were still there in her bed afterwards. As his tears became prematurely stifled, she regretted the lost opportunity to bear more of the boy’s emotional burden. She had not meant to make comparisons or judgments simply by stating the truth of her family situation, but she was stuck. Of course she had to tell the truth, but in telling the truth it might automatically seem to belittle what Sylvain was going through. Though she had said she would reciprocate, Aida was mad at herself for making it about her. If anything called to her stronger than anything else in life, it was finding the deepest, darkest pain and being there for it, with it. She thought of herself as the one who should walk through the dark places of the world because in the dark she had come to see. This was the gift she had been given by that deep womb-like scar in the earth. This is what she needed to do in life. Even her damn wand knew it.
But there he was in her thoughts. Alexander, who was also stricken with immense pain. Aida had promised to help him, and this is what the summer journey had really turned into for her, regardless of the practical reasons that would have caused it anyway. Somehow the journey was supposed to restore Alexander's memories, and Aida was not sure if she could help accomplish that with more people accompanying. In fact, Dealla had recently dropped out of most of the trip in order to support another person who was in need of help over the summer. Aida began to feel a sense of limitations on her own temporal resources, and this made her even angrier with herself. She would find a way to support everyone. She had to. She was still infuriated with herself for not finding a way to save more mosps at the Blossom Ball. For not having been strong enough. For not being wise enough. This time she would find a way to eat away the pain of everyone. She had to find a way.
“I don't know how other people on the trip would feel about it, but I can ask them. Maybe people wouldn't mind if you came to my secret base, at least. If they don't like it, though, why don't we go somewhere -- just you and me? A journey is good for a wounded heart, I believe it."
Color Code: #351C75 (Persian Indigo)
Mentions: @Sylvain Indarys
11 Jul 2020, 00:09
Summer Secret
Hexcode= #507091
The mere notion that other people would decide his fate for him as he spent his summer alone drained him to a certain degree of disgust for overstepping his own boundaries instead of filling him with excitement for expanding them. The anxiety was his own doing, he had bottled it up. "No," he said sternly, "I don't want to shove my way into something unplanned. I feel this way because It was wrong of me to invite myself." Syl typically preferred to set the record straight himself, it wasn't meant to be harmful.
As he came to the sinking realization of mortality all too soon in his youth, the boy's eyes dripped with shame. Falteringly he spoke, managing to cry in between gasps for air and choked words. "I.. I'm going to be alone with myself forever aren't I?" It was true, the boy would actually have to deal with himself forever. He chose his next words very carefully, "but that doesn't mean others have to be alone too." There was clear kindness in his voice when he spoke of others. "I've always felt it." He sniffled and as he spoke, but his heart filled with light and joy at his next thoughts. Being able to let the load off onto someone else was heartening.
As the pair of shoreline confessors laid upon the sand, insects and amphibians gathering around them in a peculiar manner, gathering like an audience. "I deeply regret that you've been through so many hardships Aida." Sylvain's strength might have excelled at struggling alone, but that didn't mean his friends would have to suffer that way any longer. "I'm here to stay. I can't promise I'll go on an adventure with you this summer, but I do hope that I can go on an adventure with you soon. I mean, we've already got the Forbidden Forest. You were nearly eaten by a spider!." Pushing a toad back into the water, Sylvain began to stand up. His misty eyes were filled with moonlight and as he looked down to Aida, something pure and genuine swelled behind them. "I want to help people Aida, I want to be strong for others."
Sylvain puffed his chest out, a bit of unusual bravery running through his typically logical mind. Something had changed within him. Extending a hand to help her up, the mage smiled broadly admitting, "without you, I never would have had a chance to communicate how I feel." He wiped a smiling tear from his cheek. "You taking time to listen to me is more than I can say even my own family would do." If the phosphorous white haired girl took his hand, Sylvain would gently help her up with a chuckle as the sheepish student struggled to support Aida's additional strain.
As the night set in for the duo and their critter audience, Sylvain told Aida his secret. "Thanks to you my loneliness feels like an island not a prison."
"Things are never so bad they can't be made worse." -Elim Garak
11 Jul 2020, 01:49
Summer Secret
Aida listened carefully to Sylvain’s words without interrupting, piecing them together slowly and with care in her mind.
“You weren’t wrong,” said Aida, trying to remember the exact words. "You did the right thing," she said, eyes closed. “I wish others would be as brave in showing their hearts," she uttered, thinking of all the people she had alienated by being true to herself and implicitly asking the same of. "I think that would reduce a lot of the confusion and deception in this world.” The boy was crying between gasps for air, and Aida breathed in his pain.
Earlier, Sylvain had said "I.. I'm going to be alone with myself forever aren't I? But that doesn't mean others have to be alone too. I deeply regret that you've been through so many hardships Aida." But the white witch would not choose a socially correct response to these words. Sylvain was showing his true self to her and she would respond in kind. That was what she had always wanted– people being real. Her being real. So Aida laughed. It was not a cruel laugh, nor was it a laugh at Sylvain. It was a laugh of realization of how this was really not going the way she wanted it to. Probably Aida did not have enough of a history with him for Sylvain to put more weight onto her, but her heart raged against the closing of his outpouring of pain. This is what she was born for, she felt strongly, and she needed to feel his pain just as much as he needed to express it. She felt strongly that Sylvain was holding back and that there was so much more to his tears than he was sharing now.
“Respectfully, I do not see it that way, she said, looking into his eyes if they were open. “I don’t think anyone can be alone inside and yet truly be there for other people. At least, not for me. Perhaps you can provide services and someone might feel like you are together, but to me... if you are actually alone in your heart then everyone else is alone as well. I would never want it to be that way. I need to be there as much as you wish someone were there. It isn’t good enough for me any other way. Any other way, I am alone with myself if others are alone with themselves… and I believe it doesn't have to be that way. It’s a matter of finding someone suitable to make that no longer necessary. I don’t presume that I am a good person for you to do that with. But I feel your pain and my heart tells me to go there. Would you want me to only support you and never let you in where it really matters?” Aida’s eyes were iridescent in the evening light, and full of heart.
"I want to help people Aida, I want to be strong for others," Sylvain had said.
“I want the same as you– to be there for others. To be a source of strength for them. To make it so that they are not alone with themselves.” Sylvain was extending his hand to her. A deer skirted the edge of the lake, peering on in curiosity. The boy’s hand was there, but Aida had to be Aida. Aida took the boy’s hand but was not ready to get up. She tried to pull him down over to her in a collapsing hug, and she was [statistically] twice as strong as he was [at the time of this thread]. Whether or not Sylvain came with, Aida fell back onto the shore. “Please, I want more. Even if it’s not today, and… and...” she stammered. She saw the deer over Sylvain’s shoulder. Feeling the warmth of Sylvain’s hand, Aida’s heart broke in two. She turned her face to the lake surface and felt water trickling into her shoe, as her foot had landed in the lake. She wondered if the mosp could see them, buried or surely ripped apart as it must have been at the bottom of the lake. “I want … no… I will become strong enough to hold you all.” Aida did not will it but tears suddenly came from her eyes. She wished Alexander were there. She wished she hadn’t killed Manticore. She wished she could be strong. She wished she could have saved all of those mosps. Why should she only be able to help one? With a shriek, Aida hit the sand bank angrily with her hand. She was such a child. But then, she was no longer entirely a child.
“You weren’t wrong,” said Aida, trying to remember the exact words. "You did the right thing," she said, eyes closed. “I wish others would be as brave in showing their hearts," she uttered, thinking of all the people she had alienated by being true to herself and implicitly asking the same of. "I think that would reduce a lot of the confusion and deception in this world.” The boy was crying between gasps for air, and Aida breathed in his pain.
Earlier, Sylvain had said "I.. I'm going to be alone with myself forever aren't I? But that doesn't mean others have to be alone too. I deeply regret that you've been through so many hardships Aida." But the white witch would not choose a socially correct response to these words. Sylvain was showing his true self to her and she would respond in kind. That was what she had always wanted– people being real. Her being real. So Aida laughed. It was not a cruel laugh, nor was it a laugh at Sylvain. It was a laugh of realization of how this was really not going the way she wanted it to. Probably Aida did not have enough of a history with him for Sylvain to put more weight onto her, but her heart raged against the closing of his outpouring of pain. This is what she was born for, she felt strongly, and she needed to feel his pain just as much as he needed to express it. She felt strongly that Sylvain was holding back and that there was so much more to his tears than he was sharing now.
“Respectfully, I do not see it that way, she said, looking into his eyes if they were open. “I don’t think anyone can be alone inside and yet truly be there for other people. At least, not for me. Perhaps you can provide services and someone might feel like you are together, but to me... if you are actually alone in your heart then everyone else is alone as well. I would never want it to be that way. I need to be there as much as you wish someone were there. It isn’t good enough for me any other way. Any other way, I am alone with myself if others are alone with themselves… and I believe it doesn't have to be that way. It’s a matter of finding someone suitable to make that no longer necessary. I don’t presume that I am a good person for you to do that with. But I feel your pain and my heart tells me to go there. Would you want me to only support you and never let you in where it really matters?” Aida’s eyes were iridescent in the evening light, and full of heart.
"I want to help people Aida, I want to be strong for others," Sylvain had said.
“I want the same as you– to be there for others. To be a source of strength for them. To make it so that they are not alone with themselves.” Sylvain was extending his hand to her. A deer skirted the edge of the lake, peering on in curiosity. The boy’s hand was there, but Aida had to be Aida. Aida took the boy’s hand but was not ready to get up. She tried to pull him down over to her in a collapsing hug, and she was [statistically] twice as strong as he was [at the time of this thread]. Whether or not Sylvain came with, Aida fell back onto the shore. “Please, I want more. Even if it’s not today, and… and...” she stammered. She saw the deer over Sylvain’s shoulder. Feeling the warmth of Sylvain’s hand, Aida’s heart broke in two. She turned her face to the lake surface and felt water trickling into her shoe, as her foot had landed in the lake. She wondered if the mosp could see them, buried or surely ripped apart as it must have been at the bottom of the lake. “I want … no… I will become strong enough to hold you all.” Aida did not will it but tears suddenly came from her eyes. She wished Alexander were there. She wished she hadn’t killed Manticore. She wished she could be strong. She wished she could have saved all of those mosps. Why should she only be able to help one? With a shriek, Aida hit the sand bank angrily with her hand. She was such a child. But then, she was no longer entirely a child.
@Sylvain Indarys
15 Jul 2020, 00:10
Summer Secret
Hexcode= #507091
There was something healing about being near the lake tonight. The gentle murmur of the lake as it lapped and the efflorescent perfume of summer evenings created a combination of pleasant experiences for Sylvain's memory to adhere to. Tonight would hold several memories for him.
Keeping an open mind about Aida's words, Sylvain noticed her laughter seemed as though there was some disappointment with the reversal of his decision. Did he trust his gut or did he trust his head? Could they compromise? “Respectfully, I do not see it that way,..." Aida spoke of being alone as if she understood Sylvain's feelings, but he lacked sufficient emotional intelligence to even tell her that there was a difference between his anguish and the shame he felt, let alone begin to analyze why he felt lonely as the result of it.
The rash lad had only just thrusted at the subject, hoping to illuminate the darkness of it. Instead of illumination, he'd gotten frightened at seeming shallow. Truth was all of the students had to be somewhat shallow. None of the other kids really knew how to express their feelings either, and Sylvain wouldn't be discouraged enough to stop trying. The sensitive mage mistook her question as a confession that she'd been hurt by his actions, but tried again to keep an open mind.
"I just don't know how to tell you how I feel, and I'm really sorry." Sylvain whined as he recoiled in the shame that he felt for sharing so mercilessly with Aida, unable to offer her anything in return for her kindness but a childish apology. Syl lacked perspective to solve his own problems currently. Regardless of his shortcoming, the boy knew he still had time to find the perspective he needed ahead of him. Hope wasn't lost. Mostly because Aida had presented him plenty when she spoke her next words.
“I want the same as you– to be there for others. To be a source of strength for them. To make it so that they are not alone with themselves."
For all the gratifying sounds and scents, the night had dulled quite a bit before her confession of having the same desire to help people. Perhaps it was the vibrancy of the girl's heart, that made such a lovely night pale in comparison. At least that's what he thought it was until it was also apparent she was the one who was yanking him towards the sand face first.
Sylvain was going twice as fast as he could think of what to do, even before falling.
Collapsing in a sort of hugging pretzel, Sylvain squeaked in a skittish manner as he landed. The thin wizard's knobby limbs flailed about as Aida attempted to hug him, knocking them both at the knees and landing his elbow in her stomach. The witch got her hug, but at what cost? "Ouch." Sylvain said rolling off of Aida. Disgust apparent on his brow again. Before he could speak a word in anger edgewise, the alabaster witch wept into the lake.
An immense amount of pain had seeped into the lake that afternoon, but the lake was filled with worse things than the tears of children at Hogwarts. The sight of her form curled on the shore moved his heart, as much as his body. Shifting so as to put both knees to her back, Sylvain then leaned over top of her protectively. Sylvain then wrapped his arms around her, to give Aida a real, proper squeeze.
"We'll find a way to help them Aida, we'll be strong for everyone." The boy whispered more of his heart to her as chills rain down his spine giving him goosebumps. Every bone in his body believed that he would find a way to tell her how he felt. "Even if I don't know how to yet. We still have time to figure it out together."
"Things are never so bad they can't be made worse." -Elim Garak
15 Jul 2020, 09:58
Summer Secret
Aida had envisioned becoming emotionally strong many times as she strove to maintain her promises to Griffith and the Undead King. Yet, despite her best intentions, Aida was only so capable of holding in the pain.
"Ouch," Sylvain said, climbing off Aida with a look of disgust. A ripple shuddered over the water’s surface as a fish jumped, trying to catch a bug. Aida’s stomach ached after having found Sylvain’s elbow.
“I’m sorry, Sylvain. This is exactly what happens. I try to take my comfort and hurt people in the process.” Aida felt tremendously guilty. She was overstepping someone’s boundaries, she was taking, she was alienating. A dark smile played across her mouth as Sylvain tried to give an awkward hug while she laid there.
"We'll find a way to help them Aida, we'll be strong for everyone… We still have time to figure it out together." Aida laughed, but not at Sylvain. She was laughing at herself. She was laughing at time. She was so young, and yet she knew there was not enough time for what she wanted. Aida supposed she was being rude, but the pain was clawing its way out of her in any way it could. She couldn’t figure out how to stop that dark terrible laugh from coming out of her lips.
“Yes… we will...” said the pale girl, rolling out of the hug and trying to stand. Offering to help Sylvain up then, Aida held out her hand. Her face warped into a terrible smile. “I believe in you,” she said honestly. If Sylvain took the hand up, Aida would help and then give him an apologetic look before turning away to face the lake. What could she do when the pain of others was just too tantalizing? Pain-eater, she thought to herself. She wanted to walk into the dark waters. She wanted to go find the body of the mosp, or whatever was left of it, and cradle it in her arms. Her boots were already wet anyway. There were creatures in there, she knew. Ones that would pull you down. Creatures that would kill you as readily as a child would tear into a chocolate frog. You clearly see creatures as a refuge. They can't be your refuge unless you can be theirs, echoed Griffith’s voice through Aida’s memory.
The death of Manticore, her failure with the mosp, the encounter with the acromantula, and the incident with the house elves were all dismantling the sense of purpose Aida had been building for herself ever since she was born. She had always seen beasts being downtrodden by humans, and she wanted to stand against such injustice… but how could Aida keep her promise when she could no longer draw a line between them anymore? How could she take anyone’s side when everyone had their own perspective and the possibility of validity?
Aida grasped the cold realization that this “refuge” had been harmful in every direction. Beasts, Aida, and humans all struggled and hurt each other, good intentions or not. Maybe there shouldn’t be anyone in between humans and beasts, the way she had been trying to be. From the beginning Aida had never truly felt human, and some large part of her did not want to be one. But then, since the incident with the house elves she no longer trusted beasts to be any more honest than humans. What difference was there anymore? Aida had already known that humans had their means of systematically taking advantage of each other, just as they had for beasts. After all, she had grown up ostracized for her physical appearance. The problem was that beasts were beginning to not look so different.
From the edges of peripheral vision, Aida saw the deer coming back into view as it approached the edge of the lake. Given how many deer she had eaten over the course of her upbringing in the Highlands, it seemed foolish for the deer to be curious about her and the scene they were making. Perhaps the deer was curious because it was ultimately concerned for its own safety, but in that case perhaps it was better that it stay far, far away.
If Aida did what she interpreted Sylvain to be saying, she would serve others but minimize what she took from them. By Aida’s reckoning everyone would still be truly alone with themselves, but at least others would have some kind of help and Aida would not have to endure the torment of failed efforts to receive emotional help from others. There was a definite, dark appeal to this. Surely there was some other thing Aida could draw her strength from so that no one would have to carry her emotional weight. She already stole the lives of those creatures that she ate; was that not enough?
Closing her eyes, Aida was beginning to gather a conclusion from this conversation with Sylvain. Yes, she would be strong for everyone, and she would try to give aid wherever it made sense regardless of if it were human or beast or in-between. That was the natural conclusion. However, Aida did not stop there. This meeting and all the year's encounters with beasts suggested to the white witch that she could not trust herself to take refuge in others without wounding or killing them. In this way, she would stop seeking that support from people and creatures in general. Aida learned from Sylvain that in order to not hurt others, she would have to walk alone.
There was just one problem with that plan. Aida had fallen in love and she did not want that Slytherin boy to be truly alone with himself.
"Ouch," Sylvain said, climbing off Aida with a look of disgust. A ripple shuddered over the water’s surface as a fish jumped, trying to catch a bug. Aida’s stomach ached after having found Sylvain’s elbow.
“I’m sorry, Sylvain. This is exactly what happens. I try to take my comfort and hurt people in the process.” Aida felt tremendously guilty. She was overstepping someone’s boundaries, she was taking, she was alienating. A dark smile played across her mouth as Sylvain tried to give an awkward hug while she laid there.
"We'll find a way to help them Aida, we'll be strong for everyone… We still have time to figure it out together." Aida laughed, but not at Sylvain. She was laughing at herself. She was laughing at time. She was so young, and yet she knew there was not enough time for what she wanted. Aida supposed she was being rude, but the pain was clawing its way out of her in any way it could. She couldn’t figure out how to stop that dark terrible laugh from coming out of her lips.
“Yes… we will...” said the pale girl, rolling out of the hug and trying to stand. Offering to help Sylvain up then, Aida held out her hand. Her face warped into a terrible smile. “I believe in you,” she said honestly. If Sylvain took the hand up, Aida would help and then give him an apologetic look before turning away to face the lake. What could she do when the pain of others was just too tantalizing? Pain-eater, she thought to herself. She wanted to walk into the dark waters. She wanted to go find the body of the mosp, or whatever was left of it, and cradle it in her arms. Her boots were already wet anyway. There were creatures in there, she knew. Ones that would pull you down. Creatures that would kill you as readily as a child would tear into a chocolate frog. You clearly see creatures as a refuge. They can't be your refuge unless you can be theirs, echoed Griffith’s voice through Aida’s memory.
The death of Manticore, her failure with the mosp, the encounter with the acromantula, and the incident with the house elves were all dismantling the sense of purpose Aida had been building for herself ever since she was born. She had always seen beasts being downtrodden by humans, and she wanted to stand against such injustice… but how could Aida keep her promise when she could no longer draw a line between them anymore? How could she take anyone’s side when everyone had their own perspective and the possibility of validity?
When the hairy spider would eat a blue bird, what side was there to take?
Aida grasped the cold realization that this “refuge” had been harmful in every direction. Beasts, Aida, and humans all struggled and hurt each other, good intentions or not. Maybe there shouldn’t be anyone in between humans and beasts, the way she had been trying to be. From the beginning Aida had never truly felt human, and some large part of her did not want to be one. But then, since the incident with the house elves she no longer trusted beasts to be any more honest than humans. What difference was there anymore? Aida had already known that humans had their means of systematically taking advantage of each other, just as they had for beasts. After all, she had grown up ostracized for her physical appearance. The problem was that beasts were beginning to not look so different.
From the edges of peripheral vision, Aida saw the deer coming back into view as it approached the edge of the lake. Given how many deer she had eaten over the course of her upbringing in the Highlands, it seemed foolish for the deer to be curious about her and the scene they were making. Perhaps the deer was curious because it was ultimately concerned for its own safety, but in that case perhaps it was better that it stay far, far away.
If Aida did what she interpreted Sylvain to be saying, she would serve others but minimize what she took from them. By Aida’s reckoning everyone would still be truly alone with themselves, but at least others would have some kind of help and Aida would not have to endure the torment of failed efforts to receive emotional help from others. There was a definite, dark appeal to this. Surely there was some other thing Aida could draw her strength from so that no one would have to carry her emotional weight. She already stole the lives of those creatures that she ate; was that not enough?
Closing her eyes, Aida was beginning to gather a conclusion from this conversation with Sylvain. Yes, she would be strong for everyone, and she would try to give aid wherever it made sense regardless of if it were human or beast or in-between. That was the natural conclusion. However, Aida did not stop there. This meeting and all the year's encounters with beasts suggested to the white witch that she could not trust herself to take refuge in others without wounding or killing them. In this way, she would stop seeking that support from people and creatures in general. Aida learned from Sylvain that in order to not hurt others, she would have to walk alone.
There was just one problem with that plan. Aida had fallen in love and she did not want that Slytherin boy to be truly alone with himself.
@Sylvain Indarys

